Crossing Borders, Overcoming Barriers: Kakeru's Inspirational Journey

“And that kind of moment of breakthrough has been helping me for the rest of my life, right? Whenever I face any difficulty or struggles, I know there's a way to break through by my own efforts. And there are things that I can control.”

In this episode, we’re going to talk about the power of turning things around- pushing through difficult experiences, realizing when you’re low, and pulling yourself out of the darkness. For Kakeru from Japan, that turning point came when he was studying in California with AFS in 2004-2005.

Now, 20 years later, Kakeru has moved back to the US, earned an MBA, and landed a job in tech in Silicon Valley. In this episode, we not only hear Kakeru’s story but also gain insight from his host mother, Kendis, with whom he’s still in touch after all these years!

After the interview with Kakeru and Kendis, we’ll hear from Amanda Brown, AFS-USA’s Manager of Participant Support and Learning, who will discuss common challenges students face on the program and the resources AFS-USA provides for participants, host families, and volunteers.

Guests:
Kakeru Tsubota
Kendis Heffley
Amanda Brown

Study Abroad with AFS-USA: www.afsusa.org/study-abroad
Volunteer with AFS-USA: www.afsusa.org/volunteer
Host with AFS-USA: www.afsusa.org/host
Educator Resources: www.afsusa.org/educators
Contact us: podcast@afsusa.org

Transcript

Kate M.
Hello and welcome to The AFS Exchange. I'm your host, Kate Mulvihill. On this show, we delve into unique perspectives from members of our AFS family, providing insights that only international exchange experiences can offer.

In every episode, we open the door wide to welcome the voices of those whose lives have been profoundly impacted by AFS. This is a place to have conversations, or exchanges, with AFS host families, students, volunteers, and educators.

Today we’re going to talk about the power of turning it around. Here we’re going to talk about the power of turning it around. The power of pushing through a difficult experience. Realizing you’re low, and pulling yourself out of that darkness. For Kakeru from Japan, that happened on an AFS program. But this could really be applicable to anyone.

Yes, when I first reached out to Kakeru and his host mother, Kendis, I was looking forward to hearing another great story of a long lasting AFS family relationship. Also… a story about an AFS student who ended up returning to the US to receive an MBA at an Ivy League school, and then to get a job in tech in Silicon Valley.

I actually first heard of Kakeru because he made a video for AFS-USA’s Marketing Department earlier this year, talking a bit about the impact of his AFS experience on his life. How he’s now back in the same state he studied abroad in, and lives just a few hours from his host mother!
Yeah, in my head, I kinda thought I knew what type of story I was going to hear. We love these stories, really. I mean, this podcast has been going on for 4 seasons.

However, after speaking with Kakeru and Kendis, I learned that his AFS experience was about… more than just that.
Kakeru’s first 6 months on program were… pretty tough. Insulated, going for days without really talking to anyone at school, let alone speaking up in class, having nightmares about going back to Japan and people making fun of him for not making it. He was the first person in his family to do anything like AFS- no one in his family had really ever even moved outside of the area he was raised in. He put a lot of pressure on himself, and had big expectations for his AFS experience.

“I remember having a nightmare. Probably more frequently, toward the end, in that dark period. In the nightmare, friends making fun of me saying, No, your English hasn't improved a lot. What are you doing in America?”

But Kakeru… reached a breaking point. He realized he had to take action, and received help from a classmate- a simple invitation to hang out- that kind of saved him. He then was able to push through his last 4 months on program.

“And that, that kind of moment of breakthrough has been helping me for the rest of my life, right? Whenever I face any difficulty or struggles, I know there's a way to break through by my own efforts. And there are things that I can control.”

I spoke with both of them- Kakeru and Kendis- for this interview, but we will mostly be focusing on Kakeru’s story. His background- both where he came from in Japan, but also his family back home- why he decided to do AFS, and yeah, the genuine struggles he had on program.
Then about how he pushed through, returned to the US for an MBA program, and has used that grittiness in other parts of his life. And how he has supported other students going through tough moments like he did.

We’ll then close it up by hearing from Kendis again.

Again, I did not set out on making this such an inspirational episode, but that’s kind of what happened. If you are listening to this and you aren’t a 16 year old Japanese exchange student living in California dealing with cultural adjustment and expectations- this will still be relevant to anyone who has felt like they’ve let themselves down.

Join me as we explore how Kakeru transformed his darkest moments into a powerful force for positive change. His journey is a reminder that anyone can overcome obstacles and achieve their goals.

And after the interview with Kakeru and Kendis, we’ll hear briefly from AFS-USA’s Manager of Participant Support and Learning, Amanda Brown, about some of the common challenges students encounter on program, and the resources AFS-USA provides for its participants, host families, and volunteers.

[Music]

Kate M.   
Thank you both so much for taking the time to chat with me today. Could you both introduce yourselves?

Kakeru T.   
My name is Kakeru Tsubota. I was on AFS from 2004 to 2005 to Los Angeles, California. Originally from Japan, I'm now located in Cupertino, California. So back in the US.

Kate M.   
All right, and we're gonna hear a lot more about that. Yes.

Kendis H.   
I'm Kendis Heffley, and I was the place where Kakeru came to when he came to the United States.

Kate M.
Kakeru heard about AFS from a flier on a school bulletin board when he was in 7th grade. He was raised in Fukui Prefecture, located roughly in the middle of Japan's western coastline. A prefecture is kinda similar to a US state.

Kakeru T.   
So Fukui is a very rural, I'd say, conservative area in Japan. My parents and grandparents and all other family members were born and raised there. Never left Fukui. So, you know, from childhood, I thought I was, I was basically set to stay in Fukui for my whole life. And I didn't really like the idea, I found myself very curious and adventurous. And learning English really sparked my interest. So as soon as I started learning the language in middle school, I had a dream of, you know, really kind of immersing myself in a different culture, trying to kind of, you know, expand my horizons and meet a lot of different people.
And that was when I saw the flier. So while it took a little bit time to convince my parents but basically they did support me facing the dream, afterall.

Kate M.   
Yes, his parents supported him, but this was something totally unheard of in his family. But his mom was pretty open-minded- Kakeru is a big reader, and he got that from his mother.

Kakeru T.    
So my mom is a bookworm. So she reads probably 10, 20 books a week. So a lot of books. You know, apparently I was influenced. She was the first one who, you know, opened my door to external world travel to you know, really kind of being curious raised outside of what was given to you.
My dad, on the other hand, spent his entire career, he basically retired just last year, but he spent his 40 years of career in the same department of the same company. So very interesting dynamics, they're very conservative dad, and open minded mom. And I think I was able to kind of, you know, balance those two and really understand what my roots were, and what I was basically standing on.
I have a younger sister, who is three years apart. So we stay very close. And the good thing about, you know, the relationship is, is that she followed me, you know, being outside of Fukui by now. So she's living in Tokyo. So she's the second person who made the call to be outside of Fukui, you know, in the family history. So, yeah, I think we have a very unique and interesting dynamic within the family. And I'm very glad to be influenced by some family members and you know, kind of providing the new standard to other members as well.

Kate M.
So, talking about Kakeru’s family in the US… Kendis lived in Los Angeles, and has spent most of her life working in education in different capacities. She co-founded an organization that was a long term mentoring program for children and youth. She also worked on the administrative side of a school, as the Finance and Operations Officer.

Kendis H.    
And I have known about AFS for many, many, many years, I've always really appreciated the mission of the organization and the connections that were made. But when my kids were in school, the school ultimately that Kakeru came to, had a really strong AFS chapter. We hosted a student every year and did a lot of exchange and did a lot of programming and various things. And I was very involved in that, because I always wanted my kids to do AFS at some point in time.

Kate M.
Kendis had traveled, and her children’s school had brought in many AFS students over the years. She kind of knew what to expect going into hosting Kakeru, even though it would be her family’s first time.

Kendis H.   
My only concern was really Kakeru, my concern was more than anything to make him comfortable, to make sure that he had the support he needed. You know, and at the time, I was raising three kids, three teenagers in the house and working. So I just wanted to make sure I had enough time. I had the time to really bring him into the family and making sure his experience was meaningful to him. And that it was he didn't look back and say how I did. So my whole thing was really about setting up a successful environment for this young man that was coming from across the world, you know, to a brand new place at such a young age.

Kate M.
Kendis had set everything up. But you know, there were some struggles at first for Kakeru when it came to integrating into the family. Based on my conversation with them, Kendis acknowledged that there was some adjustment time needed, but for Kakeru, it seems like the hesitations and struggles were a lot more significant, especially when it came to school and friendships.

Kakeru T.    
I mean, after all, spoiler alert, we have great relationships with each one of them. But, you know, arriving to the family. You know, I wouldn't pretend that it wasn't difficult, right? Getting to getting to know, a new member of the family, and really kind of making sure that I am a good addition to the, to the family, especially what I saw in Kendis, their family is that they're very, very close to each other, you know, the family has a strong, tight bond. I remember being a little bit anxious, if I could really, really fit in and be part of the family, at first sight.

Kendis H.   
Yeah, well, anything that we did, Kakeru was a part of. And I was amazed at how easy it was seemingly easy on you know, on my side and in the family, how he just kind of slipped right in and seemed to be comfortable. There were times obviously and we had some conversations, about settling in and whatnot.
And his English was amazing. Even down to the colloquialisms. And the, you know, the jokes and stuff, that's the hard part of a language to really get, the culture of the language and Kakeru had it. Like, god, where did this come from? You know, but his English skills were really, really good. So in the end, he had a great sense of humor. So I think that really helped him settle in at school as well being kind of the new kid in a block of very small classes. This was not a big massive school, it was a fairly small school. And, you know, really fit in because of the humor, he had the, you know, the ease about it all. I know what didn't feel that way, always to him. And I understand that, but did a great job of faking it until it was real. But I was delighted to have you here with us from the moment I met them.
It was really a wonderful matching. And, I mean, he's in all our family pictures, the wedding, everything, you know, if met his whole family out, and it's just, it's great. It's really wonderful. So in terms of kind of where this ultimately led, it led to really, really strong relationships. And I feel I have a son.

Kakeru T.   
Thank you. And it's mutual. Kendis always made fun of me. I ate a lot, right? I was playing sports when I was a teenager, and the cost of groceries doubled from the day I came, so yeah, I'm forever grateful for the generosity you had.

Kate M.   
So you played sports at school? Could you talk a little bit more about your school experience?

Kakeru T.   
So I was in the soccer team, inside and outside of school, that was in the club team as well. So I played, you know, I spent many hours playing soccer. I also did cross country and track and field. And, you know, playing sports really, really helped me to be part of the community.

[Music]

But I didn't, I didn't find it very easy to fit in, though, right? First time being outside of home, of the language you grew up with, I would say, probably, you know, six months out of 10 months, I was feeling really inward, really pressured to grow myself and so forth. And then the last four months, I would say I had a breakthrough moment, where I kind of stepped outside of my comfort zone, and then started making really, really genuine friends, good friends. And then those four months made the entire period, like really, really colorful, and then looking back, I would say it was and it still is the best 10 months of my life, or best work transformative, the most transformative, 10 months of my life.

I had a big expectation about my performance, right. I knew I was good at learning English as, you know, a second language learner. I was decent in school. And I won several English speaking contests, writing contests back in Fukui and so forth. So I thought I could again, I could shine right away, make a lot of friends and so forth.

I remember, on the first day of school, I was looking for a locker room. And a girl tried to help me but couldn't because I was asking for a “rocker,” you know, rock'n'roll rocker. And there's no R sound in Japanese. A lot of people, you know, get confused with the difference between our L sound and our R sound. And, you know, like a lot of tiny bits of those things really kind of broke my confidence in the first couple months, and I wasn't really comfortable raising my hand in school. You know, I was put into ninth grade English class with my host sister. While I was literally in 11th grade.
So I knew it was coming from me. But again, the gap between expectation and what I was going through, I feel, you know, day by day, more and more inward. There are a lot of days where, you know, I spoke with no one at school and came back to my host brother's room and, you know, played the video game for the rest of the day, just you know, trying to escape from reality. But then again, after six months, I thought that was enough, I need to change something from my end.

Kate M.
Do you know what switched, what kind of triggered that?

[Nightmare music]

Kakeru T.   
I remember having a nightmare. Probably more frequently, toward the end, in that dark period. In the nightmare, friends from Fukui made fun of me saying, No, your English hasn't improved a lot. What are you doing in America?

And I knew the pressure that I was facing was about growth. I came to the US to break through to really break the mirror, break through the glass that I was having in Fukui. But then in reality, I wasn't, you know, able to find the glass. And one day after waking up from the nightmare I really thought, I remember the day clearly, and I thought…

[Record scratch]

“Okay, that's enough.” And that was when, you know, I ran to the school phonebook and started calling friends in alphabetical order, no matter if I had ever hung out with those people.

[Dial sounds]

And then one friend picked up the phone, invited me to his house and there, you know, lots of cool kids in the house that, you know, I was always avoiding. Because I felt miserable being close to them beforehand. But spending time with them was one of the most glorious days that I remember from the period of 10 months, and they became best friends, even up to this date. So yeah, picking up a phone was probably a tiny hand that he offered. But then it was a huge lifesaver for me. I still, I'm still grateful for the little contact that he offered.

Kate M.   
Wow. Wow. And, you know, those are, that's the kind of moment that I think many people would have just decided to go home. You know, okay, I've been here for six months,  I can't do this anymore. Yes, people at home are gonna maybe make fun of me and say I couldn't hack it, but I just can't do this anymore. And you opened up a phone book, because it was 2005. And you picked up a landline and you hit the numbers. And someone picked up, I mean, that maybe kept you here for four more months.

Kakeru T.   
And that, that kind of moment of breakthrough has been helping me for the rest of my life, right? Whenever I face any difficulty or struggles, I know there's a way to break through by my own efforts. And there are things that I can control.
So I actually studied abroad again, in 2021. Chasing after a dream of coming back to the US and that moment, the experience that I know that it could kind of you know, bring about the breakthrough by myself really, really helped me to thrive in those two years in the master's program.

Kate M.    
So, Kakeru came back. Not only did he push through his struggles during the program, but 15 years later, he felt confident enough to return to the States for school.

And before we dive into his life post-program, I want to take a moment to reflect on his experience with AFS as a teenager. Although Kakeru was having a tough time, from the outside, it might have seemed like his AFS program was going well. His host mother Kendis noticed some adjustment struggles, but nothing major. Kakeru was active in the school community, playing sports all year. And I mean, while I didn’t interview his teachers, it’s very possible they thought he was doing fine- maybe just a little shy.

However, as we've just heard, he was feeling inward, overwhelmed by the expectations he placed on himself. Not to get super deep or anything, but you can never really know what someone else is going through. Asking for help is nothing to be embarrassed about. Kakeru made that phone call, met up with some kids from school, and that changed his trajectory.

Kakeru T.   
Yeah. So as soon as I came back to Japan from the AFS program, I was always looking for ways to come back to the country, to make a living permanently. I applied to several US colleges, but, you know, the result didn't really come through. So I decided to spend my early days in my career in Japan in Tokyo, always wishing, if there's a way, and it took 10 years, you know, till they finally kind of stood up and prepared for the move. And in 2021, I started the MBA Program at Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth.

So speaking of the program, there are about 300 people in a cohort, and about 40% of them are international, a lot of them are first timers in the country. And I saw, you know, early days of me in a lot of them, and thought I could probably be a little help.
So I decided to kind of take a step, and really become a voice of, of their struggles and their wishes, and so forth. I became a part of the student government, in charge of the quality of life, the Quality of LIfe chair for the students. And, yeah, I'm very proud of what I was able to accomplish within two years. And all that came back to, again, the AFS program, and the transitions that I really went through in my teenager moments.

Kate M.   
So for international students, there is a pre-orientation program on the campus in New Hampshire for about a week, before the beginning of the MBA program. The students learn about US culture and customs, how to deal with culture shock, etc. Not too unlike what AFS participants learn at their orientations!
And yeah, Kakeru noticed that some of his fellow cohort members had the same type of anxiety that he had during his time in California, 15+ years earlier… even though they weren’t teenage exchange students. They had been accepted into a MBA program at an Ivy League university, at a business school often ranked in the top 10 nationally. Many of them were well established in their careers. And yes, even they felt hesitant to speak up, they were nervous, embarrassed…

Kakeru T.   
And I was, of course, anxious to come back to the US and really put myself into higher education for the first time. But then, I soon realized, you know, people sitting next to me had the same anxiety, probably a little stronger, because it was the first time for her, for him, to be in the United States outside of their home countries.
And things that we talked about even R pronunciation, how to make friends, how to write an email, how to tip at restaurants, those things, yeah, naturally sparked my memories back then. These are the things that I went through. I know how difficult it is, and how embarrassing it is to, you know, be worried about those tiny things. Right.
And it's just, it was difficult to speak up in front of, you know, a really successful cohort, right. They have been successful in their entire career. That's why they're in the MBA program. So that gap really shed a light on me that this was exactly the position that I was in, you know, the school back in the AFS program was an excellent school. And everyone seems so successful, that I felt a little bit inward to speak about my position and what I was going through.

Kate M.    
And because you spoke up and you took on a role in student government, you likely had a very transformational role and the early days and therefore maybe keeping some of these MBA students on program, right knowing that, okay, I can I can get through this, these feelings are not unique to me. And I can push through this.
And so you wish you could have…you didn't but you could have been like, oh, what you guys are struggling with that? Oh no, I spent time in California and I knew everything from day one. No, no, no, no. And you know that, um, that's really important. And, you know, I'm sure other folks really appreciate it.

Kakeru T.   
I mean, you know, adjusting to the MBA program wasn't easy for me, either. So, you know, I feel I was part of them, going through it together.
But if you switch sides, you know, it's a privilege that you're in a position to, you know, make them learn something new, absolutely, kind of open up their minds. So this time, within two years at the MBA program, I really learned to really kind of, you know, switch sides and think in different, different shoes. And I think I wasn't, you know, I couldn't have done that, without the primitive experience of the AFS program.
 
Kate M.   
And after completing your MBA program at Dartmouth, how can you explain a little bit more about your path to getting you back to the West Coast just a few years later?

Kakeru T.   
So even in Japan, my entire career was always about B2B technology, how to bring about innovation, or bridge where innovation is happening and where innovation is needed. And I wanted to pursue my career in the United States, preferably in Silicon Valley. So it took about, you know, 100 applications before I found a job. It was my dream job. Actually, my school alumni helped me launch in the job. I feel supported, I feel encouraged to say that, you know, I landed on a dream job and have been in a growth moment since then.

Kate M.
So, Kakeru didn't make the move to the US alone. He brought his wife and kids with him. I was curious to learn more about his family, and I mistakenly assumed that his wife needed persuading to relocate.

Kate M.
Could you talk a little bit about how you got her on board for this adventure?

Kakeru T.   
Sure. Or I joined her adventure as well. Either way, we've met through AFS as well. So as soon as I decided to pursue a career or even, you know, higher education in Japan, I was looking for ways to give back to the program. So I started volunteering for AFS Japan, in my freshman year in college. And she was a year older than me, she was a part of the leadership team by then. And I thought, oh, this is the person that I want to get mentorship from. And then we got too close eventually.

Kate M.
When she was a teenager, his wife got to be good friends with an AFS student from Thailand who was studying at her school in Japan. She wanted to study abroad herself with AFS, but she wasn’t able to. So she decided to get involved with AFS as a volunteer.

Kakeru T.
I knew from her that I was privileged to be able to study abroad. And there are many others who couldn't. And, you know, she convinced me that I need to really give back that experience and really help other people achieve their dreams.
And yeah. We had our first child in 2014. And we have three by now, we always, always talk about the dream of hosting a student at some point.

Kate M.    
Well, that would be that, that student would have an amazing home for the year that they're here. I mean, not just being hosted by folks who are so invested in AFS, but who were brought together to marriage by AFS. And, okay, so she had an interest and a passion for learning about life outside of Japan, and kind of supported you and you supported her and made this happen to come to the States.

Kakeru T.    
100%, yeah. She was always the biggest supporter. And what I'm most proud about her is that every time we were back in the States, she's the one who steps out of her comfort zone. During the two years of the MBA program, for example, she took on a leadership program in the community, and supported MBA students and their families with kids, just because she's, you know, experienced, she has experience in raising three kids. So it's not just really dealing with what was given to her life. But she's the one who really takes advantage of the opportunity. So really, really inspiring.

Kate M.
So, in the 19 years since Kakeru returned to Japan from his AFS program, yeah, a lot has happened in his life. College, wife, career, family, and eventually the move back to the US. Him and Kendis stayed in touch during this time, and she even got to visit him in Japan a few years back. Also during this 19 year period, two  of Kendis’s children participated in AFS programs themselves, to Argentina and France.

Kendis H.   
Yeah, I mean, the experience with Kakeru really kind of solidified my two younger, my two girls going abroad and particularly in Argentina when my daughter Kailyn when she was quite young, but she and she went down there and stayed with a family.
And just similarly had experiences like Kakeru discusses she felt the same disorientation at first, in many ways. But, you know, coming into a family, brand new and making it work and figuring it out. And it's just, it's just a wonderful way for young people to get out in a safe way, and experience the world at a very young age. And I've always been a supporter, and I'm grateful for the kids that have come to me and where my kids have been because of AFS.
I hope more and more young people can have the experience to get out of their comfort zone at a young age and figure it out. Because they do. And it's really beautiful to see.

Kate M.
And Kakeru wants to keep paying it forward. Yes, his presence encouraged Kendis’s daughters to study abroad. He was a volunteer with AFS Japan… and he held a leadership role during his MBA program. And next, he and his wife would love to host an exchange student in the future. To pay it forward from all the support Kendis’s family showed him when he was in high school.

Kakeru T. 
As I already spoke about, my wife and I are really interested in becoming a host family. And really, this is, this hasn't been part of the plan without having Kendis as my host mom, and other members of the host family. They really, really treated me as part of the family. I know how impactful it is for international students going through the moment. So I just want to kind of return a favor to the program and to Kendis and your family in proving that I can, you know, kind of pay forward to the next generation to the next families.

Kate M.   
Well, thank you and thank you for I mean, even just the video that you shared with AFS USA a month or two ago, but then agreeing to come to speak to me, I'm sure at the end of a long work day and also three kids and I'm, I'm sure you're, you're quite tired. And Kendis, also for you hopping on the call. I really appreciate both of you sharing your story about, you know, this impactful relationship that began randomly 20 years ago and here we are, you're both living in the same state. Kendis, you have, you know, three Japanese grandchildren and all because of AFS so I really appreciate you taking the time to chat with me tonight.

Kendis H.   
Thank you. It's been a joy.

Kakeru T.   
Thank you for having me.

Kate M.
That was Kakeru Tsubota and Kendis Heffley.
Like I said, when I first reached out to Kakeru and Kendis, I expected another story of a longtime relationship between an AFS student and their host family. These are the stories we love and the valuable connections AFS builds.
But Kakeru’s experience was so much more. His first six months were really tough. He felt isolated, struggled with talking to people, and had nightmares about going back to Japan and being mocked for not making it. He felt a lot of pressure and had high expectations of himself.
Then came his breakthrough. With help from a classmate who invited him to hang out, he found the strength to push through the last four months of the program. This turning point showed him that with effort and determination, he could overcome any difficulty.
This episode turned out to be more inspiring than expected- at least for me. If you’re listening to this as an exchange student or… really just anyone feeling stuck, Kakeru’s story can remind us that we can pull ourselves out of that darkness, overcome obstacles and reach our goals.
And before we end this episode, I just wanted to include a few words from AFS-USA’s Participant Support and Learning team about some of the challenges that students encounter on program.

[Music]

Amanda B.
My name is Amanda Brown, and I am the Manager of Participant Support and Learning at AFS-USA.

So I think for you know the student that you spoke to, Kate, I would say that that's not an uncommon thing for a lot of students to experience. I know for a fact that we have a lot of students each year that come on program with a lot of high expectations for themselves and just a lot of high expectations in general about what their program is going to be like. A lot of times, what we see is the reality that being on program, being in a whole other country, will bring with it experiences that people did not anticipate. And it's that difference between what you were expecting and what you are actually experiencing that can be very challenging. That's not an uncommon thing.

Being on program can be a lot of work. And so much more than we have in previous years, we talk a lot about self care. We talk a lot about, you know, making sure that students are being good for themselves and to themselves.

We talk to our students a lot more about, you know, the reality of being out of your comfort zone.  So we talk a lot about the idea of a scale of 1 to 10. So, you know, if you envision a scale of 1 to 10 and 1 is like, I am so comfortable. I'm in my element. This is exactly how things were at home, it's totally familiar. And 10 is Get me out of here. I don't feel well. I feel like I'm shutting down. I think what is very helpful for students is the idea that AFS does not want people to live at a 9 or a 10. We don't want students to be miserable, but we also don't expect students to live at a one or a two either. The idea is that you're opening up yourself to new experiences. You're trying new things, you're trying things in new ways, and you're out of your comfort zone and there are going to be bad days as well as good days.

While it's always difficult, I guess, to normalize a sense of hardship, sometimes, because nobody wants to talk about the challenges. Nobody likes to talk about the yuck. But I also think that there is some degree to which we want to be honest and open about the reality that we are bringing people together across cultural divides, and sometimes that can be very challenging.

You know, if we think about why AFS exists and why we do what we do, who our founders were and what they were trying to accomplish, they were living in a world where they knew that differences that exist between people and culture can have catastrophic results, and so it's in how people handle those differences that really matter. Part of what we're all about, as an organization, is helping people feel supported as they encounter those differences, even when those differences are hard.

You know, we have an entire department of staff, you know, the Support and Learning Department, we're there to help people feel supported, heard and listened to and guided throughout those rough patches.

And so I would very much encourage volunteers and host families as well to take a look at the resources that are on Help and Learning, those are incredible, and throughout the year, we hope to have you know, events and trainings and different types of activities available to help volunteers, especially feel supported as they support students and their families during this amazing, complicated and challenging journey that people are about to embark on.

Amanda B.    
We should do a whole other podcast on this stuff, because I could talk forever.

Kate M.   
I think that would be great.

Kate M.
That was Amanda Brown, Manager of Participant Support and Learning at AFS-USA. Amanda mentioned the Help and Learning guide- while many volunteers are familiar with it, there are also versions for host parents, U.S. students abroad, and hosted students in the U.S. If you're in one of these groups, you’ve likely received emails about it. If ya still can’t find it, send a message to askafs@afsusa.org.

[Music]

Kate M.
Thank you for listening to The AFS Exchange! I’m Kate Mulvihill. Let us know what you thought of this episode by sending a message to podcast@afsusa.org. You can also rate and review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe there as well so you don’t miss any episodes in this 4th season.

This podcast was created by Kate Mulvihill. Social media by Julie Ball and Nina Gaulin. Special thanks to Amanda Brown and Martha Friend.