Self Discovery Beyond the Bell

Season 5 kicks off with stories of self-discovery through American school activities. Ayya from Indonesia explores theater, Sama from Egypt embarks on a creative journey, and Danisa from South Africa takes on cheerleading. From coast to coast, these students embrace new challenges, build skills, and form lasting relationships. Their experiences highlight the profound impact of international exchange. Tune in to discover how AFS-USA students find themselves through new pursuits.

Guests:
Ayya
Sama
Danisa

Study Abroad with AFS-USA: www.afsusa.org/study-abroad
Volunteer with AFS-USA: www.afsusa.org/volunteer
Host with AFS-USA: www.afsusa.org/host
Educator Resources: www.afsusa.org/educators
Contact us: podcast@afsusa.org

Chapters

• 1:36 Ayya from Indonesia
• 13:13 Sama from Egypt
• 22:50 Danisa from South Africa

Transcript

Ayya
You know what? It's now or never. Like, I came here to experience a whole new thing.

Sama   
I chose it like really randomly. I never thought that, oh, I will like it, and I might take it as a major in the future, but I really like it.

Danisa   
Let me say, I’m a risktaker.

[Music]

Kate M.
Hello and welcome to The AFS Exchange. I'm Kate Mulvihill. On this podcast, we share real stories from the AFS community. We're here to explore how exchange experiences change lives, one conversation at a time.

And welcome to Season 5! This  blows my mind to say, but here we are. If this is the first episode you’re listening to, hello, greetings. If you’ve been here for a while, welcome back!

Today, we're exploring how exchange students discover new sides of themselves while on program. Sometimes, these discoveries happen through interactions with their host families, or as   the result of being placed in a completely different environment, or encountering and adjusting to unfamiliar situations without their to-go coping mechanisms from home.
But often, it's through trying new activities at school. These students are not only learning new skills, but also discovering new parts of themselves and building community.

We’ll hear from Ayya from Indonesia, Sama from Egypt, and Danisa from South Africa. Each of them tried a school activity that they had never done before at home, and found out something about themselves through the process.

Kate M.
First up, Ayya. This year she has discovered a love for the stage, as well as a new sense of confidence and the support of a close knit community.

Ayya   
Hello. My name is Aurellia but most of my friends here in America call me Ayya. I am an Indonesian exchange student who is hosted here in Wisconsin.
Before coming to the States I think my mom, my friends, they would describe me as introverted. They wouldn't say shy, but I'm just not a girl with many words. And I guess I would agree with that.

Kate M.
But let’s fast forward to a dinner conversation around the table between Ayya, her host mom, and her host sister from Thailand. A conversation that reveals just how much she has changed so far this year.

Ayya
We were sitting down at dinner, and my host mom asked us about, like, how we interact with people at school. back home. And I said,”Well, people think I'm pretty quiet.” And then they looked at me and they laughed like Ayya, quiet that is no way. And that was the point where I realized, Oh, so that's actually a very drastic change for me.

Kate M.
The transformation? Well, the discovery of a new talent played a large role.

Ayya   
My unexpected strength is that I turn out to be a pretty good actor.

Kate M.
Oh!

Kate M.
Theater had always been a distant dream, something she admired from afar.

Ayya
Like, I would see theater performances, I would see musicals on YouTube, or on a stage. And like, I've always just thought, “Wow, that that's something that I find really cool that people are able to do,” but I just never took the chance to be on stage.”

Kate M.
But when thinking about a potential year in the US, a spark of 'what if' ignited. On her application, she mentioned her interest in theater.

Ayya
One of the things I wrote to my host mom, was that I want to try to get into theater, and that was actually one of the reasons she chose me because in school, in school, there is a theater club.

Kate M.
In August, the journey to her new home began. From Indonesia to Qatar to New York City to Chicago, finally to Wisconsin.

Ayya
So the week before school, before school started, they had auditions for school play, and my host mom told me about it, and I was, I was scared, and I was so excited. So I had a “Well, should I or shouldn't I?” moment. 

Going back and forth, I'm like, should I, like, sign up for the auditions or not, until, like, it just came to me, “You know what? It's now or never.” Like, I came here to experience a whole new thing. And so that I did, I signed up. I found the script, I read my lines and everything.

Kate M.
In preparing for auditions, Ayya didn’t really know what to expect. Sure, she’d seen depictions of auditions on TV, but who really knows how close that  is to reality? And also, school hadn’t even started yet! Ayya wasn’t familiar with the building at all. She was totally stepping into the unknown.

Ayya
And then when the day came that auditions had to happen, I just had to roll with it.

Kate M.
The day of the auditions, Ayya found herself standing in the hallway outside of the black box theater. A simple room with black walls, no raised stage, and the echoing sounds of auditions.

Ayya    
It was just completely empty, and there was only a singular chair where the director sat, and all the students had to take turns getting inside the room, but the door was opened so you can really hear these students crying, yelling, and like reading on their dialogues. And I had to sit there like, wow, these kids are really, really good at acting.

[Dramatic voices]

So I so when the kid before me finally came out of the room, I just tiptoed myself inside.
I introduced myself, Hi, I'm Ayya. I'm actually an exchange student. I'm a senior here. Just like, okay, the stage is yours.
And that was my magical moment.

Ayya
And then two or three days later, I got an email saying I got a supporting role, and that was the start of my theater world.

Kate M.
Through a series of plays, Ayya discovered a surprising niche.

Ayya 
We had one-act plays directed by students.

[Boppy music]

One was called An Absolutely True Story Told by Lying Liars, which was a show about two kids who broke a family heirloom, which was a vase, and their parents are basically yelling at them, and they have to tell their parents different versions of what happened. And in that one, I played as the mother. So it was fun. It was one of the lead roles in the show, and I had so much fun just yelling as a mom, because I only had to copy what my mom was doing. Well, like my mom back home was doing. 

[Sad music]

…Kind of a Western drama called Pearl. It was about a girl called Pearl who grew up in a line of men who are abusive, and in order for her and like the women in her life, to heal, one would have to feel that pain, you know, acknowledge it and heal themselves so they don't have to pass that poison. And I played as a character named Rosemary, who is the mother of Pearl. And let's just say I have a pretty tragic arc in that play.

[Eerie music]

And after that, it was a show called The Haunted House where I played, where it was about theater kids fundraising for a theater show, and they made a haunted house about it, and I played a mom who freaked out because her little baby boy was playing as a zombie in there.

So I have a knack for playing as moms in theater.

Kate M.   
And just like a lot of different types of moms.

Ayya
Yeah, a lot of different types of moms.

Kate M.
Like moms who are dealing with really heavy subjects, and also moms who are listening to two lying children, right? And, yeah, a whole range.

Kate M.
And up next, the musical.

Ayya
We are doing Hadestown.

Kate M.
Imagine the ancient Greek myth of Orpheus and Eurydice, but set in a gritty, industrial underworld. That's Hadestown. Written in the mid-2000s, it tells the story of Eurydice, a young woman driven by desperation, and Orpheus, the musician who risks everything to save her. The musical is known for its jazzy, folky, Tony-winning score. For Ayya, these auditions were another new challenge.

Ayya
We had to sing, which is also another thing I have never done in my life. But apparently they think I'm pretty good at singing too, because the night after I got an email saying I got a call back for a role. So yeah, that's another thing I found out about myself here, acting, singing and being and just braving out auditions.

Kate M.
Ayya channeled her experience with those mother roles to this new character.

Ayya   
I'm currently an ensemble and an understudy for one of the Fates. And because of the ensemble in Hadestown play as workers, and they do a lot of like choreograph, choreography in the back, and they have to really act out the feeling of like being sent to the underground, and, you know, wanting to go back up To the to be with the living world. So our director told us to find who our worker character is, because in order to be able to act as that, we need to find the identity of that worker.

Like, we don't give them names, but it's just personally for us, like, immediately I thought, I'm gonna be a mom who got sent into the underworld to find her, to find her children. Because it's just been, it's just been mom after mom after mom, and I feel like, wow, I've just fallen, fallen in love completely, as, like, all different kinds of mother roles, so I have to be a mom in this one too.

Kate M.    
I know I keep coming back to this, but you know, like a year ago, you had never auditioned for a show. You hadn't sang publicly, I assume. And now here you are working on show number five in a country where you know you didn't know anyone a couple of months ago. And so the great, great thing I loved about theater was the fact that, like, it's really such a community. It's such a team, like you're building something all together. Everybody, from the leads to people in the ensemble, to the director, to the techies. Do you call them techies? People in the back?

Ayya
Well we call them tech crew.

Kate M.
Okay, techies, tech crew, choreographer, everybody, like, everybody is building something together and it's just, it's, it's warm feelings, it's good feelings.

Ayya   
I agree. Like, we have dinner together. And, like, everything here is just very volunteer based. So, like, it just warms my heart so much that people are doing this from the goodness of their heart, because they just really love theater and, like, they're just supporting everyone in the show, like the parents who are supporting the. The cast. They’re  like, widely known to be like, the parents of everyone.
It's a really, really tight and close community, because it's just so easy to feel at home with the people here, because, like on stage, you do need to find, like, the chemistry to work with them.

Kate M.    
Absolutely. And there is, you know, a vulnerability in theater, right in, you know, trusting that if you're up on stage. Everybody else is working with you. People want you to succeed.

And you know, maybe act a different way. Let's say you try to say a line a different way, and you're kind of afraid, like, oh, maybe I'm going to sound silly. But no, these, these people have got me. We're all working on this together.

Ayya
Yes, I agree. One way or another, you are going to love your cast.

[Music]

Kate M.
This past year while Ayya was finding her voice on stage in Wisconsin, Sama was discovering a new creative outlet through a different activity at her large San Diego high school.

Sama    
Okay. My name is Sama, and I'm from Egypt. I came here in August and my experience is really good for me, like I discovered a lot.

Kate M.    
So before your exchange. So if we can think back in time to like July, which wasn't that long ago, but probably feels like it was a long time ago. How would your friends and family describe you? Like, Sama, she is blank.

Sama    
I was really like, I don't really remember the word, but it's like, whatever I think about something, I'm just doing it without thinking.

Kate M.   
Like, impulsive?

Sama   
Yes, impulsive, yeah.

Kate M.
And, Sama would agree with this description of herself.

Sama
I don't think about any danger around it or anything. I'm just doing it. And maybe a bit like, thinking more with my emotions and not with my brain. Like whatever I feel, something, I'm just thinking about my feelings and reacting with my feelings, not my brain.

Kate M.   
That's really well said. You know, that's and I've gotten many different answers to that question. But this is a first. A lot of times people will say, Oh, I was kind of shy. I didn't really speak up much. Which is fine, this is probably true, and I want people to tell the truth. But here you're saying you're like, I was impulsive, I was emotional. And it's like, hey, if, if that's what it is, that's what it is. You know, we're all we're all different, we're all different.
Do you feel like that has changed?

Sama   
Yeah, like, in a really big different way, because I feel like, Oh, I'm thinking more than what I'm feeling.  Transfer this feelings to my brain first, so I can think, Oh, is it good? Is it not? Then doing it.

Kate M.
And Sama sees this as a sign of… maturity. Her circle back in Egypt was pretty small.

Sama
I was kind of close to and to myself, like, oh, only my family and friends, not more than that. I’m from a really small school, so.

Kate M.
And she really attributes this to being part of a new environment. This large community in California, a big school, of course a new family, new friends, all while pushing herself to try new things she had never done before in Egypt… yeah, she feels more grown up. And… less reactive.

Sama    
Yeah, like, I feel myself, Oh, I'm feeling older now, like with my brain and thinking and realizing things, it's more like a grown person, not like a childish way or something.

Kate M.
It’s also, you know, speaking in another language maybe makes you think a little more about what you’re saying, before it just comes out.

Sama    
And obviously the different language is also like something that change everything.

Kate M.
But she doesn’t have any regrets about where she started. Because…

Sama
Because without it I won't be able to discover more about myself.

Kate M.
A new school, a different culture, and distance from family. Sama’s exchange has pushed her to adapt. But the biggest surprise? Discovering an unexpected passion in an elective class.

Sama   
I chose it like really randomly. I never thought that, oh, I will like it, and I might take it as a major in the future, but I really like it.

Kate M.
She had been unsure what she wanted to focus on in college. It was kind of blurry.

Sama
I was really struggling about what I want to be when I grow up, and what I want as a major in the future.

Kate M.
She knew she wanted something that involved expressing her creativity…

Sama
It's really interesting, because I always looking for something that gives me creativity and in like work, not all always like, oh, like being a doctor, you have to study and all that. No, I am not like into that.

Kate M. 
The answer was found in a Media Production class!

Sama
So I feel like digital media is giving me the opportunity to be creative, and moving, and showing your opinions and, like, doing something.

Kate M.
Sama has gotten really into this class, and it has come pretty naturally to her.

Sama
So it's part of the things that I discovered myself in that I like being around cameras and filming and talking in front of cameras too. Like I don't, I don't feel shy talking in front of it. So, I never thought about that till I took this class, actually,

Kate M.
She’s been learning about the equipment…

Sama
And also, yeah, and using the camera, obviously to film something. And I did like film the basketball game. I was really stressed about it, but it turned out really good for me for the first time.

[Basketball sounds]

Kate M.
Her latest project?

Sama
So we're doing like a commercial, and the teacher was like, giving us our roles, and I was being the director. It feels like really leadership role too, that I have to make everything together and make it as a puzzle in my brain to form something really good that the teacher would like.

Kate M.
Okay so, learning a lot of new skills. Using different types of video cameras, editing software, and taking on the leadership role of directing. Being behind the camera, in front of it, and in the editing room.

This wasn't entirely new territory. Back in Egypt, she had some experience with leadership.

[Assembly noises]

Sama   
So I used to be kind of leadership with these things in the morning for the school. I used to do like morning announcements. I used to be like the person who did the announcements.

Kate M.
But still, a world away from the media production she's since found herself in.

Sama   
No, it's not on TV. We have, like a person who introduce each person who's saying, oh, today we're reading Quran in the morning, and let's listen to a quote or a new information about something, or news. So yeah, and then we all go to our classes after that. It's not like announcements here, but because we don't have like, our school is really small, so we know everything from each other, and we don't need announcement, like a big announcement in high school here.

Kate M.
Okay, okay.

Kate M.   
Let's see. What advice would you give to your pre exchange self?  If you could give yourself some advice that you would read right before getting on the plane to come here, what would you say?

[Opening letter]

Sama   
Don't expect anything. Don't expect anything, because expectations always give, like… expectations give what?

Kate M.   
Like expectations can lead to disappointment?

Sama    
Yes, disappointment, yeah, I'm looking for this word. Yeah, I'm not. I wasn't disappointment in much stuff. But just like, expecting everything is not good. Like, don't expect anything anymore.
And I would like to tell myself before going here, that, Oh, you're gonna change a lot, and you're gonna be grown up really fast, and you never know that you're gonna be that old, like in mindset, you're gonna be that old.
And I would say to myself that you are going to miss your family, because I would never expect that I would miss my family that much, but I am.
And I would love to say, don't waste your time. Don't waste your time in any bad thing, like using your phone, especially in the first few months. And don't, like, I don't want to say, don't feel much sad, but you're, you should deal with it fast, like, don't let yourself be sad too much. Just deal with it and move on.

Kate M.
So we’ve been talking about Sama’s year in the US… a place that in so many ways, is very different from Egypt. But there’s one thing she hasn’t needed to get used to at all this year.

Kate M.   
I mean, also, by the way, you getting placed in San Diego…like, San Diego is, I have never been but I've heard that the weather is perfect like all the time.

Sama   
It's no change than my home country. But… I wish I would see snow once. It never snows in Egypt, but I wish… [Fade out]

[Music]

Kate M.
So from Sama in sunny San Diego, we are now headed to Danisa in snow-covered Buffalo, New York. Before the snow forced everyone indoors, Danisa began her year outside, on the sidelines of the football field, cheerleading. Joining the cheerleading team wasn’t just about learning cheers; it was also about overcoming her hesitations and finding her place in her new community.

Kate M.
Welcome! Could you please introduce yourself, tell me a bit about you?

Danisa   
Hi. My name is Danisa. I'm an exchange student from South Africa. I'm from a family of five. I'm the last child, and I'm hosted in Western New York.

Kate M.
If you were to ask Danisa’s friends and family back home…

Danisa   
They would describe me as a supportive and brave person. Let me say I'm a risk taker, so that's why I tried out for this. But at the same time, I was a little bit hesitant with most things, like having the fear of the outcomes of whatever I will be doing.

Kate M.    
Okay, yeah. And did you feel supported by your family with the decision to come here?

Danisa   
Oh yeah, definitely like from the beginning until I got to the United States, it was great.

Kate M.    
Okay, okay, so they knew you could do it. They knew.

Danisa   
Oh yeah, they believed in me more than myself.

Kate M.
So, school sports were a whole new world for Danisa.

Danisa
Most schools have sport, but, like my school, is not really into sports.

Kate M.
And cheerleading? Something that she mostly had just seen on TV.

Danisa    
It’s not a popular thing. Most schools don't have it.

Kate M.
So when the chance came for her to try cheerleading, she jumped at the opportunity to do something new.

Danisa    
So I tried out cheerleading. I didn't think I was going to be good at it, but like I turned out I was good.

Kate M.
But even ever joining the team, there were hesitations.

Kate M.
What was intimidating about cheerleading? Why were you hesitant to try it out?

Danisa   
Um, I wasn't sure if I was going to fit in, like the teammates, you know, just silly stuff.

Kate M.
So, the first game rolled around. As a brand new member of the team, Danisa went with the group just to watch. Ya know, low stakes, just observation.

Danisa
But like, since it was my first game, and I didn't even go to any practice before, I just went for the experience.

[Rain sounds]

Kate M.
It was an away game, so the cheerleading team and its newest member traveled via bus. Inside the bus? Nervous energy. Outside the bus? Rain.

Danisa   
It was my first week of school. I think it was on a Friday, yeah.
And, like, the bus ride was a little bit weird because I only knew two people from the whole cheer team.

Kate M.
Despite her nerves, Danisa was committed to soaking it all in. However, considering the rain… maybe she was a little glad she got to sit this one out.

Danisa
And it was really great. But like, it was raining, so yeah, I got to see the cheerleaders cheering while it was raining. But like, besides that, it was fun.

[Cheering spectators]

Kate M.
Now, imagine a high school football field. No rain this time, but a sea of white in the stands and on the field. White jerseys, bandanas, a white out.

Danisa
And the first time I cheered, it was a home game, and it was white out. So it made it interesting, because we had like a theme. Instead of our cheer uniform, we wear our cheer skirts then we wore the old football jerseys for our school, because they're white. Yeah, and white bandanas on our heads. It was fun, and plus, we won that game.

Kate M.
As football season ended, Danisa wasn't ready to leave the sidelines. She decided to keep cheering. This time, for the basketball team!

Danisa
So I started with football cheerleading, then I went up to basketball.

[Basketball sounds]

Kate M.
But, the season had to come to a close…

Danisa    
Oh, yeah, tomorrow is my last game.

Kate M.
Aww…

Danisa
Yeah…

Kate M.   
What advice would you give to another exchange student who is maybe hesitant about trying something like that?

Danisa   
One thing I'd say to them is this is, this is the only chance you have. If you don't use it right, you may never get this chance ever again. And it doesn't hurt to try something new. If you try it, then it doesn't work out, then try something else. Don't limit yourself.

Kate M.   
Danisa has decided that there is something else she wants to try while she’s here- because yeah, she may not get this opportunity ever again!

Danisa   
I want to try skiing.

Kate M.
Even though, when I was speaking with her in mid-February…

Danisa   
We have a lot of snow. I'm so tired of it at this point.

Kate M.
Living in New York State was the first time she has ever seen snow, but for her the hype wore off pretty quickly.

Danisa   
I enjoyed it for like, the first not even a week, the first four days, and like, after that, I'm like, I don't want this. And at first, the snow was still, like, white. It was clean and, like, right now it's dirty and all that, some like, the interest is all gone.

Kate M.   
It is gray and slushy.

Danisa   
And sometimes it's slippery. It's just ice.

Kate M.
It looks pretty in pictures but only for like a few hours.

Danisa
Yeah.

Kate M.    
But you can say you did it! You can say "I went to the United States. I was a cheerleader, I went skiing, and I saw so much snow, I began to hate it."

Danisa   
I'm definitely gonna include that. Yes, yeah.

Kate M.
Danisa's story is a reminder that new experiences aren't always perfect. There's the thrill of cheering at your first game, and then there's the reality of slushy snow. But it's all part of the journey.

[Music]

Kate M.
These three students share something in common: the courage to try an unfamiliar activity in a new country. And it paid off. Be it on stage, behind the camera, or from the sidelines, these discoveries will stay with them long after their AFS programs are over.

Thank you to Ayya, Sama, and Danisa for sharing your stories with us!

We have a lot of exciting stories coming up for this 5th season, including many more interviews with hosted students, and a special episode for Founder's Day next month, where we'll highlight the history of AFS. We'd love to hear your thoughts on this episode! Send a message to podcast@afsusa.org. Please rate and review us on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, and be sure to subscribe. To learn more about AFS-USA and international exchange, visit afsusa.org. 

This podcast was created by Kate Mulvihill. Social media by Julie Ball and Nina Gaulin.