The New Normal

Follow along with Michael, a first-time host dad, as he recounts his year hosting an exchange student from Germany. From the initial decision to host and the anticipation leading up to his student's arrival, to how Michael's daily routine shifted, you'll hear how opening his home led him to become much more involved in his local New Jersey community and learning more about himself.

You'll also discover how Michael and his husband Allen got to dive deep into the cultures and customs of Germany and Morocco, as their host son has a parent from each country. Plus, hear insights directly from Michael's host son about his experiences at school and traveling throughout the United States.

In such a pivotal time in our country's history, it matters now more than ever to have AFSers travel the world and exchange ideas.

Guests:
Michael Wargo
Yassin

More from AFS-USA: 🏠Host a Student | ✈️Study Abroad | 🤝Volunteer | 🏫For Educators | 📧Contact the Show

Chapters

• 1:45 Michael Introduction
• 9:57 Host Son's Arrival
• 12:06 Life in New Jersey
• 22:18 Trips as a Family
• 30:10 Personal Growth + Intercultural Exchange

Transcript

Kate M.
Hello and welcome to The AFS Exchange. I'm Kate Mulvihill. On this podcast, we share real stories from the AFS community. We're here to explore how exchange experiences change lives, one conversation at a time.

Michael W.
This has just been one of the most incredible experiences that we've ever had. For us, I think it's, it's taught us about ourselves in terms of, what's important to us in life, our outlook in life. You know, what we want and where we want to go.

Kate M.
Let me take you through the year of hosting an exchange student… through the eyes of a first-time host parent, named  Michael. From the decision to host to the anticipation leading up to the student's arrival from Germany. How Michael’s daily routine shifted, and how hosting a student led to him becoming much more involved in his local community.
He has had to learn how to be a parent for the first time- but, you know, skipping right over years zero through sixteen and jumping straight to parenting a teenager!

You'll hear from Michael Wargo, from New Jersey, who decided to host an exchange student with his husband Allen. Besides just becoming fathers, they also got to dive deep into the cultures and customs of Germany and Morocco, as their host son has a parent from each country.
In addition to chatting with Michael for this episode, I also separately chatted with his host son, whose voice you'll hear woven throughout the episode. He’ll be introduced shortly. 

Kate M.   
Okay, great. Well, welcome, Michael, could you please introduce yourself? Tell us a little bit about you?

Michael W.   
My name is Michael Wargo. I live in Morristown, New Jersey, with my husband, Allen, and our dog, Copper.   We've been here for a little over five years now. I'm originally from Western Pennsylvania. Allen's originally from here in New Jersey. We met in Washington, DC. Ended up in New Jersey for Allen's job originally. And yeah, we've been calling New Jersey our home, our home since.

Kate M.    
So Michael, how did you first get involved with AFS?

Michael W.    
Sure. So my husband and I were talking about potentially, you know, looking into hosting an exchange student. And I actually reached out to an old high school teacher of mine back home in Pennsylvania. I recall, whenever I was in high school that her family had hosted a few exchange students. And there were actually one or two when I was in high school.
So I had reached out to her and asked her how she went about it for herself. And she said she literally just reached out to the local high school and asked them, what program if they participated in one, and then went from there. So that's what I did. So I reached out to Morristown High School, the guidance office, and asked them, “Did they participate in any international student exchange programs?" And they said they did, they worked with AFS, and they put me in touch with the some of the folks from AFS, and that's how we we got the ball rolling,

[Music]

Kate M.  
And why host an exchange student? Why is this something that you and Allen were interested in doing?

Michael W.   
Yeah, so we, we've discussed it, you know, in our lives, about potentially adopting or fostering, and you know, we looked at those, those avenues, and it just, you know, didn't work out. But we both, we both had expressed our interest to really be in a parental role, and to have, you know, someone in our household that we could, we could, you know, teach things to and take care of, and just kind of show our, you know, our way of, our way of life and and just add, add to our family.

So I was talking to one of my good friends about our journey. And he actually said, Have you ever considered an exchange student? And I thought, Oh, that's a great idea. And then it lended itself really well with myself and my family. Since high school, we've loved to travel, we've loved other like learning about other cultures and things like that. So that also was a factor too, and since Allen and I have been together, we also love to travel and try different foods and learn about cultures and see different places. So we were very interested in that idea. And I think that's, that's how it, you know, came about, specifically to consider hosting the exchange student.

Kate M.   
And it seems like making the decision was pretty easy, and then seems like the process was also pretty seamless.

Michael W.   
Yeah, the process was fairly easy once we got in touch with AFS, that AFS the side was very seamless, very quick.

[Music ends]

Kate M.
So once a family has gotten in touch with AFS- usually via a volunteer- and approved to host, the next step is identifying a student. Volunteers work with the host family-to-be in suggesting students that would be a good fit, based on family composition, personality type, interests, and needs.
This process is made easier by host family letters, a part of the AFS application for students. Students write a general letter to potential host families introducing themselves. They talk about their interests, their daily life back home, their family, their friends, etc. These letters are then shared with any potential families.

Michael W.
I mean, you read, you read their, their host family letters, you know, and, and you that's really, you know, all you have to base it off of. So for us to, you know, kind of say, Okay, this sounds like the type of student that we, you know, we feel like we could click with and and connect with.

Kate M.
Michael and Allen reviewed the students shared with them. They weren’t really limited by the fact that they were a same-sex couple. Most AFS participants are asked during the application process if they would be open to living with a same-sex family, and many of them say yes. So, Michael and Allen identified a student. The next step? Getting their local school’s approval.

Michael W.
Kind of coming round, the hiccup part of it then was back on to the school, waiting for the school board approval.

Kate M.
And you know, the process took some time. This can really vary depending on a lot of factors. The time of year, the school’s history with AFS, random things going on within the school board itself that have absolutely nothing to do with AFS, etc.

Michael W.
And that was a little bit of a stressful time, because we were, we were kind of waiting and being like, we're ready. We want to make sure this is set so, you know, eventually, eventually it got on to the agenda, and approved. But that was, that was kind of the only slow part of the whole process itself.

Kate M.
So finally, all the boxes were checked. It was still a few months before their host son’s arrival. Michael and Allen had time to prepare, and to think about some of the adjustments they may need to make in their daily lives.

Michael W.   
Before he came. I was talking with, you know, family, and I have some cousins, and my sister has, you know, kids that are under, under 12. They were joking with me to say, hey, and you're getting that new child, and not only, but you're going right to a teenager. So you have to let us know how that goes.

But I think, I mean, I can say one of the things that we were a little apprehensive about was, you know, up to this point, it just being Allen and I, and we thought just that that kind of every, every evening after dinner, you know, we're just hanging out, like, on the couch, or just, you know, watching TV, and it's like, oh, like, there's going to be somebody else here too. Like, it's, how's that going to be, you know, is that going to, is that going to be weird? Is that going to, you know, be just, just, you know, kind of different. So I think that was a thing of just the thought of another person, you know, in the house constantly, like we, you know, like ourselves. So, so that was, that was something that we that we were a little apprehensive about.

Another thing too, was this idea of a schedule and just thinking about, like, Okay, we need to figure out, you know, what we're going to be doing for dinner almost every night. We got to figure out, like, lunches, breakfast. I mean, that that three day, you know, three meals a day type of thing, because we now have a, you know, a teenager in the house, so we got to make sure they're fed and everything like that, so those are not having kids again, that those were, like, some major things to kind of consider.

Kate M.
While these thoughts were definitely in their minds during the late spring and early summer of 2024, connecting with their host son even before he got on a plane helped ease some of those initial concerns.

Michael W.   
We were actually able to FaceTime and chat throughout the summer in anticipation of him arriving. So it was really nice that we got to know each other a little bit. And then that also added to the excitement of him actually finally getting here and us getting to meet each other.

[Airport sounds]

Kate M.
Then, the day arrives. The scene: an afternoon in early August at Newark Airport. AFS volunteers, staff, and excited host parents with signs have been on the ground all day, greeting groups of students as they arrive. Finally, a flight lands from Frankfurt, Germany. Time passes as the passengers deboard, and go through immigration and customs. Then, through the doors comes…

Kate M.
Okay, well, welcome. Could you please introduce yourself? Tell us a little bit about you?

Yassin   
Hi, my name is Yassin. I'm 16 years old, and I'm an exchange student from Germany, and I'm spending the school year 2024-2025 in the US. In Germany, I live with my two parents, and then my sister, my older sister, she's 20.

Kate M.
A bit more about Yassin… he is from a small town right near the border with France. He is part of the Congress-Bundestag Youth Exchange, or CBYX, a highly selective scholarship program jointly offered by the U.S. and German governments.
Yassin also plays soccer, he swims, and he also plays the violin. Which he did indeed bring with him to New Jersey.

Kate M.
So, in describing those early moments with Yassin, Michael shares…

Michael W.
Just very excited, energetic. And we were too, we were all smiles. We were all really kind of amped up to finally meet each other.

Kate M.
So, the three of them gathered Yassin’s luggage and headed out to the car…

Michael W.
I remember we got in the car, and we were driving, you know, to our house from the airport, and he said, Wow. He said, everything's so much bigger here he's like the roads, the just everything is, it's just the space. He said, it's just so much bigger.

Yassin   
This is a more urban area, definitely. So a lot of more highways, and my area where else is relatively quiet, etc.
 
Kate M.
Despite the jetlag, Yassin was immediately curious about his new surroundings. Michael described him as…

Michael W.
Very inquisitive, you know, very interested in kind of everything that was around him, you know, whenever he first arrived.

Kate M.
So they drive from Newark Airport over to Morristown, seeing Manhattan in the distance from the car windows. Michael and Allen’s roles as host fathers had officially begun.

Kate M.
When Yassin arrived, Michael and Allen had their home all ready, of course. But beyond just having a physical space for him, it was important to talk early on about what it would be like to truly be a part of their family.
Michael shares how they set the tone from day one:

Michael W.   
I mean, we kind of established this at the beginning. But, you know, we all have our space, and everyone can kind of retreat to that. But we made it very clear to Yassin and to say, like we, you know, we don't want you to feel like you need to stay in your bedroom all the time, or like, live in your bedroom, like hang out in the living room, be around us all the time. And it's been so nice, because I think, I mean, he's really taking that to heart. And I, you know, I think I'm, I don't know if that's like his personality, or if us just saying that, but, you know, he isn't in his room all the time. And I think that's really great, because I feel like with teenagers, there might be a tendency to do that.
I think that they are very like in the room. I'm going to come out for dinner. I'm going back in my room like, there's, there's no hangout time with the parents or with the family, like, you know, very, very little. So I'm really happy that, you know, Yassin is comfortable and happy to just kind of be hanging around with us, in our house, and not just relegated to his room all the time.

Kate M.   
I think it's probably a combo of both. I think it's Yassin, but it is also you and Allen creating an environment that he feels comfortable hanging out on the couch. But he is also the kind of kid who's comfortable doing that, right? I think it works. Well, that works. Yeah.

Michael W.   
Absolutely. And that's the thing is, I think he, you know, we, we even when we were talking before he came, you know, we were talking about his, his bedroom, and we said, oh, we have a desk downstairs if you want us to put in your bedroom if you, you know, you want to study and whatnot. And he said, he's like, Oh, he's like, I just study on the couch, in the living room, if that's okay, you know, or in the kitchen and stuff. And we're like, oh, no, that's fine. So I think it seems like too, in Germany, they're, they're, they're, they're much more connected with the family, you know, throughout the whole day. And it's not very individual, like, I'm in my room, you're in your room, that type of thing. So I think, like you said, I think it was a combination of that.

Kate M.
In the early days, even before school started, sports started. Soccer was the first of three sports Yassin would play during his year, along with swimming and track.

Yassin    
Before school started, the soccer practices already started. So that was really nice to finally meet, like, American teenagers, to hang out with them. So I also, like, the first time we had the practice, I asked for, like, peoples’ Instagram or Snapchat to just like, have their contact, and then on the next day, we actually played soccer for the first time. So that was really nice to, like, find new people.

Kate M.
Also, from the beginning, Michael and Allen were on the lookout for volunteer opportunities for Yassin. Recipients of the CBYX scholarship are responsible for 25 hours of community service while on program.

Michael W.   
So right off the bat, you know, it was probably a week or two, we started going around and looking for volunteer opportunities. We were able to connect him with the Shakespeare Theater Company, which is on Drew University's campus, which is fairly close to us, and he was able to volunteer there throughout the fall and winter with all their theater season.

Yassin
I've done over 30 some hours there so far, and it's been really nice because I got to meet meet new people, like other volunteers, which I had a really nice conversation with, about the US, especially when I told them that I'm from Germany, we could share, like, I could share a little bit about my culture and their culture, like during, during the volunteering, during the stuff we had to do. And also, it was nice to see all kinds of people coming there.

Kate M.
That's so cool. So what sorts of volunteer work did you do? Like building things, talking to people, handing things out?

Yassin   
Yeah, so it was, there were different activities, but they had a concession stand, for example, and then also handing out flyers or scanning their tickets, or, like, helping people find their seat, etc. And it was really fun to do that, and especially because you see all kinds of people coming to that theater, and the atmosphere is just so nice. So just It's been, like the perfect opportunity for me.

Michael W.
And he really enjoyed it. And what was really nice is they seem to to really treat him very well as a volunteer, and not just, you know, a teenager coming in like he, they treat him as a professional and gave he got a tickets, you know, they got complimentary tickets to a show, which is nice for all the volunteers. But I think he really took a lot from that experience.

Kate M.    
That's great. And that it's, you know, I mean, he's going to an American High School in a diverse area like New Jersey. He is meeting folks from all over, he has this AFS community, but it's a different population that wouldn't necessarily be volunteering at a Drew University Shakespeare production, right? He's meeting all sorts of folks, which is great, yeah.

Michael W.   
And in that situation, I mean, I want to say I wasn't sure who all the volunteers were, but, but, you know, based on what he had told me, I mean, that the the majority of volunteers are retirees, and he was, I mean, I'm sure, by far the one of the youngest people, but that was a great experience for him to also to be meeting, you know, people of a different generation and being around them, versus, You know, the other students in the school, for example.

Kate M.
In addition to playing sports and volunteering in the community, Yassin joined the school orchestra.

Kate M. 
Out of curiosity. I mean, I did band when I was in high school. I've never played an instrument in a different country, though. How have you found that like playing violin in Germany versus playing it here- and kind of like the community of the orchestra and all working together is that kind of a different feel there versus here? Yeah,

Yassin    
I don't really think there's a different feel, like music connects in the way, like, like the language or the culture. There's no difference. So you really have the same. Especially in the orchestra, you have the same dynamic, you do the same scale to warm up. You do like the same practices together to get better at that particular song. So the only difference I could find right now is the orchestra in my school in Germany was much smaller.  So at my school, we were only, I think, 12 or 13 that played. And then the orchestra here is over 60 kids.
Especially, then we have concerts, we come all together, and the whole stage is full.
 
Kate M.
Whew. Yassin's schedule was packed: sports, volunteering, violin, an active social life, and, of course, school. Michael and Allen knew that bringing someone else's schedule into their lives would be a change, but Yassin was especially busy! As host parents, they had to figure out how to keep everything organized.

Michael W.
I think another thing that I've learned too is time management and figuring out prior to prioritizing and figuring out, like, how you can kind of fit everything in. Because, again, never, never having kids, you know it, it not only change, and not only changes, as they say, but having a teenager, a very active teenager, who's in sports and things like that, you know, your schedule, you kind of got to figure out your schedule and making sure he's, he's at places and things like that. So that's been, that's been a change, and something that, you know, I've, I've gained in terms of, like, organization and trying to figure out, yeah, how the day, how the day is looking. It is nice with with Yassin he, he's very organized. He's very detailed. So he makes it easier. You know, we can go over, like, the day or the next day and saying, okay, like, I'm picking you up at this time, and then this is happening, and things like that. So it does make it does make it easier than, than, than saying, Okay, what's going on today? And then say, No, I don't know. Well, I'll let you know.

Kate M.   
Right, right.

Michael W.   
But yeah. I mean, all of that has been new for us and myself.

Kate M.   
Right? I mean, you're used to, you know, your own GoogleCal, and maybe Allen shares his GoogleCal with you, and you plan things out that way, and you could both get yourselves around, find lunch for yourselves, whatever. But then to bring in a teenager…

Michael W.   
Yeah. And that's another thing even too. Just, I mean, we were pretty good beforehand in terms of dinners and cooking, you know, for ourselves. But now, whenever Yassin came it was this, like, Okay, we got to plan dinners. We got to figure this out. It can't just be like work is over, and what are we going to do? I mean, we definitely have days like that, where, where we'll say, Oh, we're just going to get takeout, we don't know. But, we're much more focused in the planning of the week, you know, in all, in all, in all facets, including meal prep and making dinners and things like that.

Kate M.
So the organization and planning that is pretty much required when you have a child… Michael and Allen were just kind of thrown into it. But they found systems that work for them and Yassin, and adapted quickly.
Outside of the day-to-day running around, they were also able to do a fair amount of traveling. Not far from where they live in New Jersey, is New York City. A place that maybe isn’t too exciting to Michael anymore… but, when seen alongside Yassin…

[NYC Noise]

Kate M.   
I'm wondering for you who I mean you are not from New Jersey, but you've lived in New Jersey for a number of years. I'm not here to make any assumptions about your opinion of Times Square, but sometimes, for people who live in the New York Area, Times Square can… maybe, it's not like, I mean, I don't know about you, Michael, I don't hang out in Times Square on the weekend. Maybe you do. Maybe you do. But what was it like, kind of rediscovering Times Square and New York City through his eyes?

Michael W.   
it was. It was pretty incredible. That's one of the things that we were looking forward to whenever Yassin came, was getting to experience things through his eyes, and maybe things that we had never seen before, things that we had and that being one of them, I mean Times Square, or just New York in itself, to just see the kind of the excitement and the wide eyed ness of the space. You kind of stand back too and say, Wow. It really is. It's very impressive. It is. It is something and taking in, you know, yeah, there are, there are hundreds and hundreds of people here, and it is really crazy and everything like that. And especially at night too, you know, we went, we went back on another occasion at night too, to see all the lights and things like that. But it's a really neat feeling to experience it like through his eyes, and kind of see it, see it in a different way too,

Yassin   
So, it's always been a dream to visit New York since I was little, especially, like, you see it in all these movies, etc, and that dream came true when I got to visit New York for the first time. And I really remember, like, I was just so astounded, like, surprised how it really is, how the city is. Like, I've been to big cities before, but New York, just like, exceeds all expectations that you would have, because it's just so huge. And you find, like, all kinds of people, all kinds of restaurants, all kinds of cultures, just like, clash together. And it's, it's so like, I love, I love New York. Really, there's so many opportunities what you can do. Broadway. I've watched some Broadway shows. I've been to the ballet, with my host family. That was really like a great experience in New York.
And I mean, yeah, it is a big city, and it sometimes it has, like the characteristics of a big city, so it's loud, it's dirty, sometimes it smells not so good. But still, it's just the feeling of a big city. And I love that.

Kate M.
After some time spent in New York City, Michael and Allen introduced Yassin to another part of the country, out west. While this wasn’t new to Michael, it was exciting for him to see it through his host son’s eyes. Yassin was familiar with skiing the peaks of Europe, but the Rockies were something different.

Michael W.   
Our Colorado trip was very, very memorable. We went out there, Allen, myself, Yassin, and then another exchange student, Chris, in the program. So the four of us got to go out there and go skiing. And it was, it was all that was that was also a really great opportunity to see the boys' reaction to being out in the Rockies and seeing the mountains and and the snow. And especially for Chris too, being from Sicily to see the snow and to be skiing, for him, that was a whole new experience.
But yeah, it was, it was very exciting. Yassin and myself, are skiers, Allen and Chris, were not so they were learning. But they, you know, caught on very quick, and got to, got to enjoy the experience, you know, as much as we did, too.

Yassin
So one of my favorite experiences so far was we went skiing in Colorado, and that was really nice. 
So they took me. They take me everywhere. And I really appreciate that, and love it, because I get to see like all kinds of the country, like all parts of the country, not only in New Jersey. And we also went to North Carolina to visit my one host dad’s family, and that was also very different experience. But it's what was very nice to see like that part of the country, and it just shows how big the US actually is, and how different all parts of the US are.

Kate M.
Absolutely, I mean, you can learn so much about the country by Yeah, I mean New Jersey already. It's right next to New York City. It's a very diverse place. But then also seeing Colorado, seeing the Carolinas going into Pennsylvania. Was there anything that really surprised you or stood out to you about those travels?

Yassin   
Maybe nothing like, nothing about the travels. But in general, what I found, like in the US, that everybody is just so, so nice to people, like at the grocery stores, they always have like, little small talk at the checkout, etc. And I really like that that you just have like, it's just like, makes like, little things throughout your day.

Kate M.
These trips- they’re more than just vacations. Going to New York City was an opportunity for Michael and Allen to see the most iconic and kinda chaotic parts of the city in a brand new way.
And outside of the Tristate Area, like in Michael’s home state of Pennsylvania, as well as the Carolinas and Colorado… Yassin’s host dads really got to show him the vast and diverse landscapes of the U.S. What might have felt like a routine trip for Michael and Allen was enriched by Yassin's perspective and his inquisitive nature. 
To tie up this episode, we’re going to hear about how this experience has enriched Michael’s connection to his local community. Also, yeah, now he’s learned more about other parts of the world, thanks to his role as a host dad.

Michael W.   
Having Yassin there, I can say that I have definitely become more what's the how do I want to say this? I don't like that I've almost become more reflective of the community, having him here, and looking at where I live and how and almost like the intricacy of Morristown versus, you know, when it was just myself.
And what I mean by that is just learning about how the high school works, that was all new stuff to me. Learning about the registration process, learning about getting him ready for sports.
I've been very involved with going to his games, and I've gotten to meet some of the other parents at the games and get you know being involved in the on the parents chats and emails with the sports team. So that also, too, has been such a change. And for my personality, I have loved every minute of it. I like, I said I would be like, soccer dad, absolutely like, I love going to his games. I love watching him. I played sports in high school. So it's fun, and it's different at the same time to kind of go back to high school sports, but watch it as the spectator, as like the parent, versus playing it after all that time. But it's, it's been such, such a great experience to meet some of the other parents and and just, I feel very I felt, you know, feel very involved with the school through the sports, particularly.
But then another component of it is he plays a violin, so he's in the orchestra. So just being able to see him through that lens too. And that kind of the arts at the high school as well, too. That's been exciting,

Kate M.
Michael and Allen are used to watching the news- this was something that was part of their life before Yassin arrived. But this regular part of their routine also became enhanced by Yassin’s presence. It was a great opportunity to teach about how things work in the US, and learn how things are done in Germany.
Obviously, you can learn about Germany by visiting the country, and being toured around by someone who lives there. We are big proponents of travel, here at AFS.
But there is a different kind of knowledge that you gain by having a representative from that country living with you in your home, sharing parts of it with you, day by day.

Michael W.   
And Yassin is so he's so inquisitive, which I love, because he's always asking that so, well, how do they do that here? Or he'll see something, and say, Wait, what? What's going on there? So we were able to explain it there. And then we'll ask him, in turn, too. We'll say, oh, in Germany, how do they do this?
So we've learned a lot, actually, about the German government, and not only that too, but it's in all daily facets of life as well, too. So when we're cooking, we'll say to him, oh, you know, does your mom cook more? Your dad cooks more? What do they cook? Do you cook? Does your sister cook? Things like that. Different eating too. You know, what do you guys normally eat for dinner, going out to eat different types of food? So, yeah, there's, there's always, there's always questions from, you know, our side and his side, and then learning different things about each other's, you know, cultures.

Kate M.   
Absolutely. So not, not like, okay, let's sit down and talk about X, Y and Z, but also just having it be part of your daily life, just kind of building it in.

Michael W.   
Yep, yeah. Just, just sitting at the dinner table and watching the news, and then, you know, the questions come up, or just get built into whatever you know we're discussing.

Kate M.
So Michael and Allen already had some familiarity with Germany, prior to Yassin’s arrival. They had visited Michael’s sister, who was living over there, a few years before Yassin joined their family. Funnily enough, this sister was able to connect with Yassin months before he even met Michael and Allen. 
             
Michael W.   
Yes, so, so here's a really crazy kind of a small world type of situation. But my sister and her family are actually stationed in Germany. Currently. My brother in law works for the State Department, so they're in Frankfurt.
But what was great with my sister being there in Frankfurt is they actually got to meet Yassin and his family too before he even came over here, because he had to go to the embassy to get his passport and visa, or the consulate. So they were able to connect with him. So it's been really nice because his, you know, his family knows our whole family and not just Allen and myself, so that's kind of a neat coincidence.

Kate M.   
Wow, yeah, no, you don't hear about that too much, the opportunity for a student to meet the family beforehand. That worked out well, that worked out well.

Michael W.   
Even more, even more of a coincidence, is that Yassin, his background is, he's German, and he's Moroccan. So his dad's Moroccan, and my sister and her family, one of their previous posts was in Rabat. So Allen and I have been to Morocco as well. So, and they're very connected with that country as well, too. So I just think it's very neat that Yassin’s like two sides. We also have this connection there as well.

Kate M.   
Very interesting. Okay, yeah, so you, I mean, you came into this with knowledge as well about Morocco.

Michael W.   
And that's been pretty cool, to talk about just our experience too. You know, we were in several cities in Morocco, and obviously have had Moroccan cuisine like tagine and whatnot. So that was nice, you know, with Yassin coming and being able to even just talk about that. So things like that on both sides of it.

Kate M.
Speaking of food…

Michael W.   
So one of the I would say, some of the really like nice experiences that we've had is him expressing his or, let me, let me go back, some of the really wonderful experiences that we've shared with Yassin involve both sides of his of his heritage and his culture. So on the German side, recently he, well, actually, beginning of the of the year we've cooked, he's cooked a few things for us. So we made a German potato salad, which was delicious. And then just recently, he made homemade spaetzle for us, with a spaetzle maker that he brought over as a gift for us, and I have never seen how spaetzle was made, and it is really, really cool how it's made. So, we made that one night, and it was delicious.
And then, on his Moroccan side. He's made us now a few times, tagine. So he's made a beef tagine and a lamb tagine, and they have been incredible. And then another thing that he does some evenings is he'll make a homemade Moroccan mint tea. So we bought a small Moroccan tea pitcher. So he'll make the tea, and then he does the high pour and everything, which is really, really cool.
So I love that he has, you know, I love that he's so connected to both sides of his heritage, and he, and he kind of has, you know, has those traditions, and he's sharing them with us.

Kate M.   
I love to hear that that's, that's great, and that, you know, I mean, you signed up to host an exchange student. You got, you got a great exchange student. But not only are you learning about one culture, Germany, but you are learning about Morocco as well. And then you also have this, these connections with your sister and that it, yeah, that Germany and Morocco seem to be kind of like part of your life, whether you chose it or not.

Michael W.   
Exactly. I know, right? Yeah, it's like, there's something about the two countries. It just works so well.

Kate M.
So… learning how to add a busy teenager into the mix of daily life… getting more involved in the community, taking trips together and seeing things from a fresh perspective… when I spoke with Michael and Yassin, it was mid-Spring. There was still some time left. But certainly, as we’ve heard, enough time had passed for Michael to see the impact that this first-time hosting experience has had on his and Allen’s lives.

Michael W.   
This has just been one of the most incredible experiences that we've ever, we've ever had, and it's for, you know, for us, I think it's, it's taught us about ourselves in terms of, you know, what's like, what's important to us in life, what you know, what like our outlook in life, and like what you know, what we want and where we want to go. It's been such an exciting time too, to be in a role of being a parent.
I mean, we, we just, I mean, we consider him our son. You know, he's part of our family, now, We talk about this with our friends and family too, but it's just become so normalized now in our household, where it's just like, Okay, it's the three of us. And Copper, of course! And hopefully he feels the same, I think he does.

Kate M.    
I mean, based on what he told me, he's having a great time.

Michael W.   
Great. I’m glad, I’m glad.
 
Kate M.
And Yassin can attest, he has had a great year.

Kate M.
Let's see, you have about three more months.

Yassin
Three and a half.

Kate M.
Three and a half more months. Three and a half more months. What do you think you will take back with you to Germany, not just items, but emotionally, what do you think you will take back?

Yassin    
Definitely, like the relationship with my host parents, I think, it's gonna be a lifelong relationship with them. That we already like planning when I can come back to the US, or they might visit me. So I think that's really that's going to be really good. And then also, like friendships for life from here, especially like not not only the American friends I've made here, but also the other exchange students, for example, the Italian one he, for example, invited me for his birthday next year in Italy. So these kind of relationships you have, I'll definitely take back.
And then, just in general, like all the good experiences about the US, and just to learn about a new culture and a new experience and a new school system, all that, I think will help me in the future to address new situations or unknown situations and just make me a more confident person.

[Music]

Kate M.    
Okay, well, I think that is it for us. Thank you so much, Michael. And pass along my thanks to Allen as well, because he obviously is 50% of why this works so well with Yassin, absolutely.
 
Michael W.    
Well, I really appreciate the opportunity. I mean, like I said, he's, I mean, he, you know, he is like, so we consider him our son. He's part of our family now forever. And we'll, you know, we'll be, we'll be following him and cheering him on throughout his, you know, life and career and milestones and and we'll be there to, you know, support him constantly like so it's, it's really wonderful.

Kate M.
This episode is coming out in mid-July 2025, and Yassin returned to Germany at the end of June. So, while his AFS program has officially ended, as Michael said, this is really just the beginning of their presence in each other's lives.

From the very start- with Michael and Allen deciding to host, navigating the logistics, and those initial, mild concerns about suddenly becoming dads- we heard how quickly and easily they adjusted their routine to welcome their German host son. He became a valued member of their family.

It's clear Yassin had an incredible year, thanks in large part to his welcoming and supportive host fathers. In such a pivotal time in our country's history, it matters now more than ever to have AFSers travel the world and exchange ideas. Yassin spent a year as an ambassador from Germany, and culturally, from Morocco. And now that he's back in Germany, he'll be sharing all about his experiences with the American people in the United States.

If you're interested in hosting a student like Yassin for a semester or a year, head to afsusa.org/host to learn more.

Kate M.
Thank you for listening to The AFS Exchange! We have a lot of exciting stories coming up for this 5th season, including many more interviews with hosted students, host families, volunteers and returnees. We'd love to hear your thoughts on this episode! Send a message to podcast@afsusa.org. Also please rate and review us on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, and be sure to subscribe. To learn more about AFS-USA and international exchange, visit afsusa.org. 
 
This podcast was created by Kate Mulvihill. Social media by Julie Ball and Nina Gaulin.