Where’s the Village? Redefining Connection, Competition & Collective Healing w/ Classie Watson

We always hear it takes a village—but have we ever really felt that village?

In this episode of The Inclusive Business Lab, I sat down with Classie Watson—business strategist and intentional life coach—to unpack the reality of connection, competition, and what it truly means to build a safe and supportive community for women.

We talk about:
- Why the ‘village’ has become more concept than reality
- How competition and fear block real collaboration
- What i actually takes to create spaces where women can thrive together

If you’ve ever struggled to find your people—your real village—this conversation is for you.

____

Looking for more? Find me here: https://linktr.ee/lekeshiaangeliqueconsulting

Transcript

>> Lakeisha: 0:00

I tell my corporate clients all the time, like, you don't get to say a space is safe because you said so. If I tell you to come in my space, it's a safe space. And then the first thing you do is make a post and you get attacked for what you're saying. You're like, safe for who? Right?

>> Classy Watson: 0:14

Right.

>> Lakeisha: 0:15

Can we define safety, please?

>> Classy Watson: 0:21

We're gonna get better.

>> Lakeisha: 0:23

Welcome back to the Inclusive Business Lounge, the podcast. Like, I feel like I've been on hold forever, getting episodes out there and how timely and it is to have Classy, who has previously recorded on the podcast before, back with us today. And it took us forever to even start this recording because we have just so much to talk about and so much good information to get to you. So we just had to hit that record button and get this, conversations started. So today we are talking about where is the village? You know, we talk about having a village and all of these things to grow and community, and we're gon toa talk about that village. Does it exist? Where's it at? How to create it with Classy Watson. So classy. I know we've had conversations before, but introduce yourself to us again. Welcome back.

>> Classy Watson: 1:16

Well, it's good to be back, girl. I love it. I always love talking with Lakeisha. because we just have such enriching conversations, and they're just. They're really meaningful and meaty. So thank you for inviting me to come back. Because, y'all, when you get an invite to come back, that's a good thing. That is a good thing. So thank you for that. But I am Classy Watson. I'm the founder of Intentional Life and Business Design at's cw Intentional Life and Business Design. So, essentially, I am an Intentional Life design and business consultant. So my whole focus is helping people design their business in a way that actually aligns with the life and the lifestyle they want to live, how they want to feel. and traditionally, that's going to look more like more freedom, right? More, ah, personal margin in your life, more time for the things that you enjoy, and giving you the opportunity to live a richer life. A life, I like to say, that's in full color, where you have more meaningful moments, but instead of feeling like you're a slave to your business or to. Even if it's a role that you particularly have because you're still working in corporate, you have a career outside of your business. so we do also focus on just life design coaching. if you're Not a business owner to help you learn. How do I develop a healthy habits? So I am a trained clinical mental health therapist. So we also look at different aspects of your mental well being, your emotional well being, creating healthy habits, healthy routines, learning to love yourself, and really learning how to pour into your life in a way that you desire so that we live authentic lives that pour love back into ourselves, lead authentic businesses that poor love and financial freedom and stability back into ourselves and into our families. but most importantly, in a way that is intentional and gives us the steps and the structure to ensure that we achieve the goals that we have and the vision that we've set. So that's me in a nutshell. That's it. I'm your go to for all of those conversations around, wellness in life and in business and how to strategically get there, in a safe and secure way.

>> Lakeisha: 3:38

And now you can see why our pre. Conversation took so long. Because, you know, I just. We were just having this conversation the other day about starting businesses and being in businesses, and now that I've been in business five years, having that restructure of what I thought I wanted versus what I really want, because we deserve that soft life, and whatever you define a soft life as and how to get that. And sometimes entrepreneurship does not equal soft life. Right. If you're not, doing these things, if you're not being intentional with how to create your business. So, so many different avenues and approaches. When we talk about getting in with you and having someone come in and really design your life, I love it. we're gonna have this conversation. And then, of course, I'm hopping back on her calendar, to have more conversations because that, you know, we've worked together previously, we've been connected for a while, and I still talk about, you know, the discernment that I learned through having conversations with you and being able to decipher, you know, what I wanted, when I wanted it, and how to let people come into my space. So, having repeat people and having people in your space that you want to go back to is really what we're talking about today. Because finding that village and creating that village in a collaborative way is difficult for us. There's so many people out here trying to take advantage of your lack of knowledge in a certain space and sell you things you don't need. That's something that we run into a lot. So understanding the village concept and, you know, it's always been said like, it takes a village. We talk about raising kids or if we're talking about, women's empowerment, it takes a village, right? But have we ever really felt that village? Because remember, latchkey kids, like, where was the village we talked about? That's when the village was. But you were coming home from school and locking a door, and your momma told you, don't open that door. Don't you let. No, don't answer the phone. All of these things. So when have we really had this village concept?

>> Classy Watson: 5:37

Yeah, I mean, that is such a good question. When have we actually had the village concept? And I don't think we have. Right, because here's the thing. We've had the concept conceptualizing something. Is it'idea based? When have we really seen it exist in the real world where it was tangible, we could feel it, we could see it, right? We could experience it in such a way that we're emotionally connected to it. When we think of the term village, we have this, like, deep sense of nostalgia associated to it, because we have an idea of what it's like because we're thinking about in terms of what life was like pre, the type of civilization we have now, where we were living in villages where we had this strong sense of community support, for the tribe, right, where everybody's looking out for the other person. we're hunting, we're gathering. And in order to survive, you had to depend and fully trust those in your village, those in your community. But the problem is, in modern society, we talk about the concept of it, but creating it in real life, it leads the conversation is, for me, it's, did it ever really exist at, like what you were saying, where did it go? Or did it really exist? And so for me, when I think about the village, I think it has only existed in the terms of concept and ideology when it comes to how we're developing connections in the business world, how we're developing relationships in the business world, especially amongst women. because generally we have these. When we talk about, women and developing relationships and women supporting women and we say all of these terms, we often find ourselves still in these silos, competing and really facing a barrage of expectations that really make true connection challenging, that make that true trust that I can depend on you to hunt and gather for me, and you're going to come back and provide and you're going to pour love into me in a way that doesn't make me feel insecure or unsafe or as if I owe you something. So for me, I believe what we have right now is the Opportunity to just. To reimagine this concept and idea of the village and what it could really look like, what real steps we can take, to reclaim certain spaces, to reclaim the real tangible ability to access and experience the village and what we desire in our hearts to have, which is that sense of trust, true connection, safety, security, dependency on other women, and the ability to be vulnerable and show up as our authentic self. So I don't. I think conceptually, I think the concept of it, and I hope that that answers your question. I think the concept of it has existed and it's been very idealistic, but, really tangibly finding those safe spaces, that's where's I don't believe they are ever existing in the fullness of what they could and should be.

>> Lakeisha: 9:12

Yes, and you mentioned so many different great points, as per usual. but one of those things was the competition and the societal pressures and, that lack of trust that we really have when we're trying to find these spaces because we' been groomed that there's not enough space for everyone, right? And so somebody's gotta be left behind and we get into this competitive mode. And, like, I'm only gonna give you so much of the piece, not everything. So really ret. Trsting and getting in a space where we can really build trust with people who look like us or with women in these spaces so that we are having these productive, villages, you know, creating. And I'm such a collaborative person that if you ask me for something, like, I'm gonna tell you, like, I have no bone to gatekeep anything in my body. I believe that what is for me has already been determined for me. And so there's no need for me to, like, try to block things off. And that's why I've always been so willing to be like, oh, have you thought about this? Or here's this resource, or whatever. And I think a lot of people don't have someone like that in their lives. And that makes me, like, sad, you know, like, that there are people, like, when you create systems or you create spaces, a lot of mean girl energy can come out. and even to those people, I always want to, like, wrap my arms around them and be like. Like, you don't have to be that way. Like, what is it that you need? Because it's something in them that is making them act that way. or they've not been taught anything different or shown anything different. And so that's what's coming out. So I've always had this ability to see all sides of someone's story or someone's, existence. And I think that that's just like my superpower, I guess.

>> Classy Watson: 11:01

Yeah. And because we need people like you that can see that in these spaces, because that's where you've built a community outside of these spaces. You've created your own spaces similar to I. I've created my own spaces. I've built community. I've built different networks. But if you didn't go up and show that sort of care, that sort of nurturing spirit, perhaps you wouldn't have been able to create a community outside of that community and maybe get those women, to come and link arms with you and to start to reciprocate that. Because when we do realize that the way we see other people's behaviors, of course we're going to make. We're gonna observe it. We're going to, make a judgment call based on that and make a decision of, discernment based on that judgment call of how we're going to engage with this person. So we could look at it as a negative and then not engage with that person at all. Or we can. We can see the underlying issues that are underneath it, that sense of fear or competition or, the story and narrative that they may have been navigating off of. I remember I had a young woman, and we were talking about. We were talking about, like a movie. It was a very old movie. And I was very surprised that she knew the movie. And so I just asked her casually. I'm like, how old are you? You know, I was just. I was curious. In no way, shape, form or fashion was my intention, or was I attempting to, you know, demean her, belittle her for being younger. I was. I was genuinely surprised. Right. And so I said, well, how old are you? Because I know I'm a little bit older than you. You know, how do you know these, you know, older movies? Did you watch them with your grandparents? Usually you were exposed to it in some way, right?

>> Lakeisha: 13:03

Yeah.

>> Classy Watson: 13:04

And so she was, more defensive in her response. And so I asked her what that was about. And it's because in her role in her position, inside of the company she works for, because of her age, she's often, demeaned or looked down on or criticized for being younger. Or, you know, older women, don't think that she knows what she's talking about, you know, and things like that, simply because of her age. And so that's why her knee Jerk reaction was to be a little more defensive, even though we're having a harmful. A harmless, sorry, a harmless conversation about a movie. But it, that question triggered that defense response mechanism based on her story and her experiences. So when people like you take the opportunity to go and nurture somebody that we see is like, okay, I don't know why you're engaging this way in particularly, but I'm safe, I'm safe, you're safe, everything's okay. And perhaps that helps that person heal or starts their process to seeing like, oh, let me reflect a little bit. Maybe I was being a little too defensive in this moment. you know, and how can I go and pay it forward and not be that way in the next conversation that I have?

>> Lakeisha: 14:33

Yeah, self awareness is definitely key to that. And also too, like you mentioned some very important steps in that. And that feeling of safety, like when you're invited to somewhere or a new group that you're entering and you just don't feel safe and settled, even if it's supposed to be a group for your particular demographic, you don't have that feeling of safety until somebody extend that olive branch and is like, oh, you're new here. And then, then your defenses come down and you're like, oh, I think I'm gonn like it here. Or the opposite. You don't get that olive branch, reached. And you're like, no one talked to me. You, no one can't reached out. And I don't think this is gonna be the space for me. Right. so there's so many different things that come into play when we talk about creating a space where everybody feels safe because, you know, safety looks different for people. You know, maybe they are introverted and you have to find ways to reach into or neurodivergent or all of these other different things that come in, into play. When we talk about creating a space that everybody can exist and collaborate, which is what we want. Right? Collaboration.

>> Classy Watson: 15:39

Yeah, that what. And that's what we have to, we have to get to. And it's. And it goes beyond using words.

>> Lakeisha: 15:54

I tell my corporate clientsients all the time. Like, you don't get to say, a space is safe because you said so. Right, right. It has to have that feeling and you have to have certain behaviors present to have that be there to communicate that and feel it and the actions of the space. Right. If I tell you to come in my space, it's a safe space. And then the first thing you do is make a post and you get attacked for what you're saying. You're like, safe for who?

>> Classy Watson: 16:21

Right, right.

>> Lakeisha: 16:23

Can we define safety, please? Right, yeah. So, that whole storming, norming, forming, all of the cycles we go through when getting into a space, and you're likemm M. And that's what I wanna avoid. I wanna skip that introductory part of filling out a space and creating that initial. You're safe here. Like, even if you think you're a hot mess, you're safe to be a hot mess. Right? Because that means that there's something that you need to fill in those gaps. And that was really the vision behind creating the collective and having it a space for individuals to be themselves. Right. built by them. So it's not me saying this space is safe, but for you, by. You let me know what it is you need. And I think that is what really defines, safe spaces.

>> Classy Watson: 17:15

Yeah, that. And in defining that there's also a component of. Right. So like you just m mentioned, there's a component of allowing that person to provide input on what a, safe space means to them and what their needs are. And also you already understanding some key concepts, right, of safety. Whoever is creating the space, safety is safety. You know, so there are, like you mentioned, there are key concepts of what it means for somebody to experience safeness, to experience security. And these are often biological. You know, what does it feel in my nervous system? what emotional, states are usually present when somebody feels safe. And how can you create an experience that elicits those emotional responses? Just by how somebody first engages, you know, when you attend events. And I've always said this, when I would go to even networking events, there's never anybody who greets people. You just kind of walk into the room and this is. I't. I don't know who does like where, because it's everywhere. I can go to a networking event here in Dallas, I can go to a networking event in Chicago. I can go. It is everywhere. I don't know where this, concept started that this is like how you do a networking event. You just let people show up and walk in the room, but you don't have anyone there to greet them, to welcome them into the space, to make them feel that sense of safety. Hey, who are you? You know, the extent that they might have is a sign in for. For them to say, oh, yeah, you rsvp. What's your name?

>> Lakeisha: 19:04

Okay, you're here, business card in the bowl there, and move on. And that's a really good point. Because, you know, whoever's hosting the event, and I recently hosted a networking event. and you're running around, right, trying to do all the things. So having someone, like, look around and be like, has someone been greeted or is somebody alone? Is somebody looking like they're terrified to even be here? That is a great idea. You're right. We just set up these events and you show up and you hope someone. You find somebody to hang with.

>> Classy Watson: 19:39

Yeah. Because remember the Village, right? The Village is about looking out for one another, keeping an eye on one another. You know, we, when we tell people, you know, you might leave your purse and like, I'm running to the restroom real quick, keep an eye on my purse. Well, the concept behind that isn't just be aware that it's there. The concept behind that is I want you to watch it, I want you to protect it. I want you to take care of it. I don't want you to let it fall on the ground. I don't want you to let somebody come take it. You know, I don't want you to let something drip and fall on it. Like, I want you to keep an eye on. I want you to care for it, to protect it. Right. To safeguard it. And so that's the same thing with the Village, with. When we go back to travel times. The village is you kept an eye on everyone, you took care of everyone. So when you step into a space or when people step into your space, the question is, how can I take care of them? how can I keep an eye on them? How can I make them feel supported? How can I make them feel nurtured? And I like that. Having somebody who's designated role is to look out for people who might be alone, who might be standing around, you know, and you can tell this is maybe their first time coming to one of your networking events because they don't know all the regulars, and they're not talk with the regulars. But those sorts of experiential type of things are what we need to think about. And we, I, talk about it in the idea of like, creating an experience, designing an experience for people. Because that's a concept that people more readily, understand. Because we talk about cx, you know, customer experience, client experience, and all of those sorts of things. But because we're coming from the perspective of the Village, that's really where that comes from. This isn't new. The idea of designing an experience for someone isn't new. You design an experience for someone because the real root and core behind that is the concept of what the village should be. You're learning to keep an eye on somebody, to have their back, to care for them, to support them, to nurture them. And that's what every client needs, that's what every customer needs. That's what anybody who's growing a business needs. they need people, a collective that is willing to keep an eye on them, to really to have their back. Not just in words, but in action and thought. Am I thinking thoughts about how to be supportive for the people that are coming into my village, into my networking event, into my space, into my realm?

>> Lakeisha: 22:18

Yes, yes, yes and yes. And like I'm just sitting here like a bobblehead as we talk because like we always are in alignment and like this is why we continue to come back and have conversations with each other. But it is just so important to have these conversations and to really be vulnerable and say that you are in need of community. I think that was one of the big steps for me in getting out was I needed a community, I needed a village and I needed people who were ahead of me in order to grow and expand. And finding that village, made me want to create it because sometimes it doesn't exist. Right? So I'm like, I can create the vision that I wantna see. And getting out in the city that I live in and being able to actually meet people in person made some wonderful, amazing connections and just wanting to expand on that whole idea. But we have to first talk about healing and what that looks like for us. women are often, multifaceted. We're wearing multiple hatsks. Whether you're in business or you're a stay at home mom, there's still multiple hats that we're wearing. And we're always caretaking even if we're not in a caretaker role. Right. Even at work you're worried about other people's feelings and how things isnna make someone else feel before you send an email. Like you're rereading your emails, you're spending extra time and emotion and doing that. So sometimes that healing process can be simplified and people are like this toxic positivity, concepts come out, it's oversimplified. And we don't really get to the core of actual healing. So let's dig into that a little bit, and talk about how we can reverse that. Heal for real.

>> Classy Watson: 24:03

Yeah, I like heal for real, you know, and that's true. It really does get oversimplified. Know, I enjoy watching these,'these creators on social Media and there's this gentleman who he gives these reenactments or renditions of motivational speakers. And a lot of these just terms like, you know, just go for it. You got to want it bad as you can breathe. You got, you know, you just got to do it. You just, you got to heal. Learn to love yourself. And, and it said with such passion and force behind it. And it sounds good in the moment and we get all rah rah. But when we talk about healing, it's very easy to see it through a commercialized lens. And that's what a lot of these motivational, oversimplified terms are. They're light, surface level approaches or thoughts and statements that don't always actually address the depth of what we carry. Right. It's not enough to just say learn to love yourself. I'm sorry, can you explain what that even means?

>> Lakeisha: 25:16

I'm a look at a person. What am I doing first and then what next Okayes.

>> Classy Watson: 25:23

Yes. Don't just say oh, just love yourself. Okay. It might come that easily for you, I guess, perhaps. But the reality is people, true healing is multi layered and it's often extremely challenging and it's extremely emotional. And we know when emotions are heightene, we can't think as clearly as we would. And so like you said, women, we have so many, we have so many layers. We're very multifaceted. And for women who are so often caregivers and pillars in the communities, healing means a lot of relearning how to care for ourselves in ways we haven't even been taught. So if I haven't been taught something, I don't even have the frame of reference to even try to incorporate it because I need to be taught it. And to be taught something means you do get a step by step, you do get the breakdown, of what is step one. What does that mean? Why is this important? You get the nuanced details of it and then you get the application of it and then how you implement it and how you continue to replicate that. And then you go to step twoeah. And that is teaching. That is how we learn. And so healing has to be that same process. A lot of times we enjoy the endorphins and those, very wonderful good feelings when we hear the rah rah, cheerading motivational statements. But that is not real healing. Nor is just going and getting a many and petty putting on a face.

>> Lakeisha: 27:01

Mask.

>> Classy Watson: 27:04

And those sort of ritualistic ideas of healing. Right. Like we're talking about Deep soul core beliefs, internal, dialogue. Our narratives, our stories. you know, when that woman said X, why did you react defensively? Why did you immediately perceive it through the lens of your mindset as an attack to your character, to your abilities, or as critical? All of these things. We have to ask deeper questions and we have to even unlearn things. Right? And then we have to learn the right, the healthier. Because let me not say right. We have to learn the healthier, way of thinking and perceiving, things. And the only way to do that is ask, is to ask questions. You know, very simple way that women can start to reclaim their own narrative, is first you need to know what it is. You have to identify what your narrative is. Identify.

>> Lakeisha: 28:15

Don'even know. Yes.

>> Classy Watson: 28:17

You don't even know.

>> Lakeisha: 28:18

Yah.

>> Classy Watson: 28:19

You know, like we could say stuff like, just change your mindset, change your story. First of all, I don't even know what my mindset is. Right? So the first step is identify. You need to identify what is the story that you're telling yourself about your life, about your abilities, about who you are, about what you can do, what you can have, what you can become, what your life will be like, the type of friends that you and. And the story, the narrative is multid dimensional. It's varied across the various different aspects of your life. Health, wealth, relationships, finances. So you have to look at what's the story that you're telling yourself, about the type of money you can make, about the type of friends you can have, type. About the type of man you can have, about the type of things that are accessible to you. What are the stories that you're telling yourself. That is the first, step. you need to know your narrative. So then you can.

>> Lakeisha: 29:14

Yes. Some of us have never lived in a space where we were even allowed to think about what we want for ourselves. And you know, this validation is so important to us. Okay. and I'm getting that validation right now because the winter arc challenge, while everybody is talking about, you know, hustling to the end of the year and, hustling on getting goals and everything, like, I don't want to hustle a day in my life. I don't want to hustle out the bed. I don't want to hustle to the grocery store. I don't want to hustle at all. Right? So with this winter arc, I was like, we need to softly land in 2025 and set that tone. Right. But you can't do that if you don't know your core values. And so the workbook I created, I was like, what would I put in this book if I was starting all over? And you know what the first assignment is? Is the will of life. I absolutely love the will of life. And you.

>> Classy Watson: 30:06

Life.

>> Lakeisha: 30:06

So good finances, relationship. Where are you even struggling? Like, you just know you're struggling, but you don't know where. And it could be like, oh, my finances are good, but work is horrible, or this, that, and the other. So that will let you show where the struggle is, and then what are your values? For a long time, I was just like, be nice. I didn't have anything concrete, of, like, what it really meant to have values, because I'd never sat down and thought of who has time. Right? That was a concept, who has time? But that led to me just being miserable, right? Because I'm just doing things out of, like, programming, messaging. Go get that. Good job. Do these things. Take care of your kids. Right? We have this messaging that comes with just living and being born and getting into society. We have things we're supposed to do, and sometimes, that messaging tells us what we can and cannot do.

>> Classy Watson: 30:58

Exactly.

>> Lakeisha: 30:59

I. The ability to dream beyond that. Because, you know, one of my, goals was to be a philanthropy and to be able to give money away and not just in a way where, like, I'm giving a$50 here. Like that Melinda Gates type of money is where I want to go. But somebody's like, you can't do that, because that's never happened. Maybe in my lineage. Right.

>> Classy Watson: 31:23

right.

>> Lakeisha: 31:23

Why can't I be that person? To be able to.

>> Classy Watson: 31:25

Why?

>> Lakeisha: 31:26

Right. And I think be able to dream like that and not. I mean, I know there's systematic oppression, and there's things that we have to go up against. However, you can still identify those things and become the person that you dream to be. And I talk about, you know, what does it look like? What does it feel like? All of the senses. Because you don't have. You don't know. You're like, what I want it to feel like, you know, when I wake up and I'm in my dream life, you're waking up relaxed. You're not looking for the clock to go off or, you know, somebody's abruptly waking you. What does it feel? What are you eating? What are you drinking? You know, all of these things will determine what does the weather feel like. and I don't think we sit down enough and have those conversations. So I'm telling you, this workbook is packed with so many different exercises that seem like, annoying. Like doing the work is annoying because you're like, ugh, values. What?

>> Classy Watson: 32:19

I don't know.

>> Lakeisha: 32:20

But when you sit down with self in the way that you need to and really contemplate on these things, like so much growth happens out of these things, and it's just amazing sometimes. And doing it together as a collective gives you those ideas. Because I might have never thought of these things if you hadn't brought them up right? If you hadn't said, oh, this is my experience and this is what I've been doing that exists. It's just like sponsoring someone and opening doors for them. You're opening doors to the life that you want to live. Because, you know, as a stay at home mom, running my business from my house and you know, I go into my office when I want to. I never thought I would be here. Not that it was you. It just wasn't something I thought it was just gonna work and take care of these kids. And then I don't know what was supposed to happen after that. And I did that, right? I've worked m. I've taken care of the kids. They're adults now. And then it was like, okay, now it's just you. Well, I got the too little at home. Let me not forget about that. They don't count. They're self sufficient at this age. But what is it? What does my life look like now that I don't have that level of dependency? Because I feel like we spent those hustle years learning. And I don't want that for. I didn't want that for my kids. Like, you know, ease into adulthood, allow them to do that. You know, me becoming a doula when my daughter became pregnant was me creating that village concept with me. Right. Because where else is you gonna get it from? Either I'm outsourcing or, it's me becoming it and having the funds to outsource. Right? You need to outsource the cleaning, whatever it is that makes your life easier or you to get into the life that you want to live. And you can do all of those things. So I absolutely. Validation, like I said, validation for the exercises that are in that workbook. If you t have that workbook, you need to download it. time now. And we need to work on this and get you living and thinking in your values and all of those things.

>> Classy Watson: 34:20

So you can create intentional. That's. That's what intentional living is. You know, when you are living intentionally, it's not about you having inauthentic beliefs, you're navigating your life off of the stories and the narratives that were never authentic to you. They were given to you by other people, and you just took them for their word and adopted them. And sometimes we do it unconsciously and we take on these ideologies that other people have shared, because you're in conversations, what so and so. And then one day when somebody asks you a question, you're like, well, why do you do that? You're like, well, I don't know. Really? No, I never really thought about it. But if you never really thought about it, how in the world did you just start doing it? Well, you adopted someone else's ideology, someone else's perception, perspective, belief, whatever, and then you just started operating off of it. And so when you sit down with yourself, like you're saying with your winter arc journaling, it really helps you identify all of these gaps, these blind spots that you have within yourself so that you can live an intentional life. That an intentional life is about leading a life in a way that aligns with your values, with your beliefs, with your purpose, that aligns with what you want your life to look like. So in any situation that you're in, you're making decisions that are authentically tied to your values and your beliefs and the way that you want to present yourself to the world and the person that you want to be. So that's. That's even how, like, when people talk about setting boundaries and healthy boundaries and identifying healthy boundaries and all of these things. Honey, let me tell you, if you want to have healthy boundaries, you want to identify healthy boundaries, and you want to be able to uphold healthy boundaries. It's about you knowing how to be intentional. It's about you knowing what you value, because boundaries are the space where people overstep your values, your belief, and you create boundaries around your values and your beliefs. I value being spoken to like this. I create a boundary for what I find to be disrespectful. And when you cross over that boundary, it. Because, that you crossing over that boundary directly affects the value that I hold. And so now you're going up against my value. Well, I got to protect my value, which means I got to protect this the way that you're talking to me and protect myself. And I have to stand in my boundary and tell you what my boundary is, right? So boundaries protect our values and our beliefs around every aspect of our life. That. That is what a boundary is. That's what a boundary is for if you don't know your values, if you don't know your beliefs and you don't. And you don't know what that needs to look like physically, it's hard for you to create boundaries around what you don't know. So you have to identify all of these things so that you can create the boundary, to support your healthy living, your mental health, your emotional wellness and all of those things. And so healing is so important because then when you do walk into these spaces where you are meeting women with all sorts of personalities, all sorts of their own histories and narratives and stories, when you can stand resolute and you have the resolve of your. Your values, your beliefs and your boundaries around those, you are able to more confidently navigate spaces you're more able to confidently navigate selling your services, you're more able to confidently navigate, understand, because now you're. You can create your own sense of safety because you're not allowing people to walk all over you or overstep your boundaries, your values, or diminish your boundaries and values, which also cause us to not trust ourselves and have resentment in ourselves. All of these things tell. Continue to feed into our story. So, when we enter these spaces, healing is important because it's important for us individually, but it's also important for our interaction and engagement with the collective, with the other women that we are wanting to be able to be a part of the village for. And a part of the community for.

>> Lakeisha: 38:55

M. So many good nuggets.

>> Classy Watson: 38:58

I. I've been there. Like, I've been there, you know, I've created all of my own spaces, you know, working in business. I mean, I will. My story is simple. Black woman, south business, nothing much else to be said. Black woman, south business. And many things that come with being, in that sort of system, building a business and being the black woman that. That is classified as you're not like other black women or you know, those sorts of statements, right? Because you have a vernacular about yourself. But why? Because I pronounce my RS s. Don't.

>> Lakeisha: 39:40

I don't know/ulate right?

>> Classy Watson: 39:43

I can say. I can say the R at the end. I can articulate intelligence. I have degrees, you know, whatever the case might be. But having to create those spaces, but being everything that I'm sharing is how I created those spaces. Being very intentional. So that's how those spaces grew. Women wanted to come into these spaces. They wanted to navigate, to the sense of safety that was there, the sense of openness, the sense of no shame, no ridicule and that everybody's looking for. Everyone is looking for that, and women are especially looking for that. That's why these Facebook groups blow up. I mean, they explode with women coming into them. But how we curate, that's the thing. Spaces have to be curated in order to reflect what a village is, because we haven't had it. It's been lost. It's just been a concept. It's just been an idea. And. And unfortunately, some people think that the village is just surface level. I create the group that's the village. No, the village has structure. Even in tribal times, the village has structure. It had rules. There's rules of engagement. How do you engage with the village? How do you structure the village? How do you provide safety? Well, you provide safety because all the men go and hunt over here, and the women, they stay back and they have the kids and they're doing this. So. And they keep one guard there in case the wild boars or whatever want to come into the village. You know, like, there's rules for engagement. The men go off to hunt because the women are. Are focused on their things, because the men have. They can. They can have. They provide that safety for the women so that they don't have to go out there and do that sort of hunting and gathering and those sorts of things or however we want to break it down. But the reality is, is inside of the village, there's safety structures built, and then the way the people engage with each other also create more safety. So we can't just create spaces and say, oh, I got a group, and it's growing. We have to be intentional about curating and understanding what it means to have a safe space. And how do I create that experience and structure for the safety? And then the women who come in, also with the healing aspect, they help add to the safety of the community.

>> Lakeisha: 42:12

absolutely there. If you. We could talk for 45 hours and not get to half of the stuff that we need to talk about. So I'mn toa tell. This is where's the village? Part 1 Andes'renn continue this conversation. So if you loved everything you heard in today's episode, with classy, make sure you subs, subscribe to the channel and join the collective. All of these things, all the details will be in, the show notes at the bottom for you to join. Get your winter artcworkbook. Start working on and learning your values. Where are you lacking all of the things that we talked about today? I'm gonna let Classy slide us out with some words of wisdom, and, where to connect with her so that you also can be in her space getting these amazing emails on her email list and all of those great things which will also be connected in the show notes. But one word, of wisdom for us taking us out today. Classy.

>> Classy Watson: 43:10

Yes. Yes. Oh, my goodness, you're right. We can do this forever. But just the last thing that I want to say, just truly from my heart, is as you are walking this path, as you are making these changes, or as you're desiring to make these changes, I, want you to remember one thing. Don't let anyone tell you that you don't mean it and that you don't really want it. And I'll tell you what I mean when I say that a lot of times we have desires, but because we don't know how to get there, perhaps are the way we're showing up in our lives doesn't really reflect that. And that's going to happen at the start of your journey of making change. Because you don't know what you don't know. So when people say things to you like, well, you don't want it bad enough, then you must not want it bad enough. You must not really want to change. You must not really want this. I want you to remember that you don't have to adopt that story that they're trying to project on to you and that it actually is alive at the very beginning of any change journey. It is a desire first, before it becomes an action and before it even starts to result and show up in your life. So the first, the very first step of you growing towards healing, being more intentional, is acknowledging that you need to do it and remembering that the next step is you got to learn the step. So be patient with yourself as you are seeking to grow, seeking to change, seeking to heal, seeking to find, the village, join the collective, because it is a village. And as you hear with our conversation today, we're talking about how we can really reimagine the village and design it with true intention for that safety and security. So just remember that as you grow, as you shift, as you change, you have to be patient with yourself and pour love back into yourself. Don't allow anyone else's narrative. We're done with that. We've adopted enough, people's narratives. Now it's time to adopt and focus on our own. And so just, just remember, be patient with yourself and do not allow others people's idea of what your change, healing or growth journey should look like affect the fact that you are actually on the path. It is simply your divine responsibility and your purpose to stay on the path. Get your footing and start walking. Start moving. You might have to rejust get your footing again. That's fine. And then start walking. Keep moving. But as long as you're moving, it's not about what somebody else believes it should look like or how easily it should go. It's about your own expectations. And you get to create those no one else does.

>> Lakeisha: 46:07

Yes. So much good advice. yeah, I don't even know. I'm like, hu. therapy for me. Free therapy. I hope you get there. Yeah, I hope you all felt the same way too. And. And we'll see you in the next episode.

>> Classy Watson: 46:22

Oh, you can find me. Is it on here for them to find me?

>> Lakeisha: 46:25

Yes. We will drop it in the show notes. However, how can they find you?

>> Classy Watson: 46:30

Oh, you can find me at the Classy Watson. So that's the th h e classy, so CL a s s I e as you see here on the screen, the Classy Watson on all social media channels. And the name of my business is Intentional Life and Business Design. So you can just go to intentionalifeandbiness.com and find any information, resources about what it is that I do, how I support and serve my clients. We are a boutique Intentional Life design and business consulting studio that does all of the amazing things that, you know, we've talked about today in helping you design a business that truly reflects the life that you desire, the person you want to be, and the life you want to lead, and helps you create those routines and habits and operational structures that you need, to grow, more meaningfully. So that's how you can find. Call me. You want to reach me.

>> Lakeisha: 47:26

And because you will continue to see her in our space, you'll see her again. So subscribe, like, share all of that great stuff and we will see you in the next episode. Bye.

>> Classy Watson: 47:49

Either way, we're gonna get better. Hm.