Have you ever felt like your own worst critic, especially under the unrelenting pressures of a career in medicine? I'm Dr. Sapna Shah-Haque, and I invite you to join me in an intimate exploration of self-compassion, a powerful antidote to the harsh inner monologues that can plague us. In the demanding world of healthcare, where the pursuit of perfection can eclipse our humanity, this episode is a beacon for those seeking to reclaim their inherent worth, distinct from their professional accolades. We dissect why kindness should begin with ourselves and how changing our self-talk can profoundly influence not only our mental health but also the way we care for others.
Injecting our lives with a dose of self-compassion can be transformative, serving as a cornerstone for psychological and emotional well-being. In our conversation, we'll unravel how self-criticism often finds its roots in our formative years and how, just as we learned this harshness, we can also learn to foster a nurturing inner voice. Embark on this journey with me as we examine the parallels between the nurturing voices that guide children and the potential for adults to rewire their own narratives towards a more forgiving and compassionate stance. Together, we'll embrace a future where the task list doesn't loom over today, and where treating ourselves with patience and understanding becomes second nature.
Though I am a physician, this is not medical advice. This is only a tool that physicians can use to get ideas on how to deal with burnout and/or know they are not alone. If you are in need of medical assistance talk to your physician.
Self-compassion. Is that just a word or is it something that we practice? And if we do, why? And if we don't, how can we move the needle toward more of a self-compassion practice? Welcome to another episode of the Worthy Physician. I'm your host, Dr. Sapna Shah-Haque, reigniting your humanity and passion for medicine. So this week I'm going to dive into self-compassion.
Dr. Shah-Haque:
It is a word or a phrase that we hear, but sometimes it is very difficult to practice, particularly in medicine, when going through undergrad, medical school and residency, possibly fellowship. Our internal voice echoes what we hear in the external world, and that's to really be opposite of what humanly we are. We're expected not to show emotion. We are expected to always be right 100% of the time, to detach ourselves from so many things. Some of that can also be disconnecting and almost cutting the cord with human connection. It's more of a I'm the physician, you're the patient, not we're two humans in the same room. But also that internal voice that really should be one of kindness, understanding, support, love, non-judgment, becomes one of criticism, unkind, not understanding, spinning our wheels and really beating ourselves up. I could have done that better. I didn't achieve all my objectives for today. Those might have been drivers at some point and maybe how we got through undergrad, medical school, residency, etc. At some point, that negative internal voice becomes a maladaptive behavior. What does this have to do with self-compassion?
Dr. Shah-Haque:
Self-compassion really refers to the practice of treating yourself with kindness, understanding, support, love, non-judgment the same characteristics that we would want to strive to show a patient, a loved one, a child. We need to embrace ourselves with the same compassion and sometimes that's the hardest, sometimes showing ourselves that love unconditionally, that compassion is very difficult, particularly when again we're in an echo chamber of we're not good enough. I'm going to remind you today that you are worthy just by being alive. You're worthy because you're breathing, living human being. You are enough and that's important to realize, because we're not defined by our degree, we are not defined by our accomplishments or I don't like to use the word failures, I would like to use the word teaching moments in life. But just by realizing that you are worthy can spark that recognition that you are worthy of self-compassion. Because how we talk to ourselves internally, how we embrace the bumps, the peaks and valleys in life and how we treat others really starts with how we treat ourselves as humans. We're not robots, we are humans. We need that self-compassion, that loving ourselves through all the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful.
Dr. Shah-Haque:
Moving to that mindset, how does one start to move that needle from not being or showing or exercising self-compassion? To do that, start to speak to yourself in a gentle manner instead of harshly criticizing or internal judgment. Remember that suffering and personal inadequacy it's not just an isolated human experience. It is something that we share as humans. Even though we may not talk about it, it's a very common human experience.
Dr. Shah-Haque:
Acknowledge your emotions Instead of beating yourself up, maybe for not getting everything on your list done for the day. Did you do your best? And if the answer is yes, there is tomorrow. The world will keep turning if you don't get everything done. I'm going to start using this a little bit more, but one thing that trips to New Mexico have taught me is that it really is the land of mañana, the land of tomorrow. I'll do it tomorrow with the intent of. I think for me it comes from the thought of I'm going to prioritize what is high priority, medium priority and low priority. If it's low priority, it can wait till tomorrow.
Dr. Shah-Haque:
And just remembering that you're human, be kind to yourself, honor your humanity and start talking to yourself internally with a voice of love, reasoning, and start truly taking care of yourself, in not just a physical way, but a spiritual, psychological and emotional.
Dr. Shah-Haque:
Where humans were complex beings, honor that and enjoy all the happiness and other feelings that brings. So why is it important to practice self-compassion? Because it becomes the internal voice, trying to replace the negativity that we, the negative way in which we speak to ourselves, with one that is more understanding, the one that embraces our humanity. It can impact our mental health, our self-worth better, our relationship with ourselves, which is probably one of the most, if arguably not the most important relationship. But if we also think about if we constantly yell at a child, that becomes their internal voice, and more and more research shows that that's not how we want to move the needle can promote anxiety, maladaptive coping skills. So we can, even as adults, retrain our brain, retrain our inner voice, to be one that is more accepting again, more positive and more loving. It becomes a habit over time, which becomes a behavior, which becomes our outward projection. So if you've found this helpful, please share it with a friend, because we can all use some camaraderie.