Dr. Errin Weisman's voice crackles with raw emotion as she reflects on her own harrowing dance with burnout and the moral injuries that come hand-in-hand with a career in medicine. Our latest episode is a heartfelt narrative that weaves through the complexities of human connection in the world of primary care, especially within the often-overlooked rural communities. Wiseman's stories, like that of the crisis-stricken farmer at the close of a long day, are a testament to the art of listening—a skill that proves to be both a balm for weary souls and a scarce commodity in today's healthcare system.
Have you ever felt like a fraud in your own life, donning a mask of infallibility? Our conversation segues into the stark realities of imposter syndrome and the relentless pursuit of perfection that plagues the minds of young health professionals, particularly nurse practitioners. It's a deep dive into the essence of self-compassion, exploring how our internal dialogues can transform from self-critique to self-care. We dissect the notion of toxic positivity and how balancing it with a humanistic approach to medicine can lead to more empowered and informed patient care.
The closing chapter of our dialogue turns the lens towards the healers themselves, underscoring the importance of self-care and advocating for one's well-being in the medical profession. Dr. Wiseman and I share practical wisdom on navigating the landscape of medicine—where the myth of the perfect job is dissolved in the reality of self-advocacy. Moreover, we celebrate the sanctity of community, from the cozy confines of an intimate Slack group to the tranquility of wellness retreats in the embrace of nature. In this episode, we leave you with a powerful mantra to carry through the storms: rest, but never quit. Join us for an episode that promises to be as nurturing as it is enlightening.
Connect with Errin:
https://www.doctormefirst.com/
https://www.burntouttobadass.com/
Though I am a physician, this is not medical advice. This is only a tool that physicians can use to get ideas on how to deal with burnout and/or know they are not alone. If you are in need of medical assistance talk to your physician.
Learn more about female physicians' journey through burnout to thriving!
https://www.theworthyphysician.com/books
Let's connect for speaking opportunities!
https://www.theworthyphysician.com/dr-shahhaque-md-as-a-speaker
Check out the free resources from The Worthy Physician:
https://www.theworthyphysician.com/freebie-downloads
Battle of the Boxes
21 Day Self Focus Journal
Dr. Errin Weisman's voice crackles with raw emotion as she reflects on her own harrowing dance with burnout and the moral injuries that come hand-in-hand with a career in medicine. Our latest episode is a heartfelt narrative that weaves through the complexities of human connection in the world of primary care, especially within the often-overlooked rural communities. Wiseman's stories, like that of the crisis-stricken farmer at the close of a long day, are a testament to the art of listening—a skill that proves to be both a balm for weary souls and a scarce commodity in today's healthcare system.
Have you ever felt like a fraud in your own life, donning a mask of infallibility? Our conversation segues into the stark realities of imposter syndrome and the relentless pursuit of perfection that plagues the minds of young health professionals, particularly nurse practitioners. It's a deep dive into the essence of self-compassion, exploring how our internal dialogues can transform from self-critique to self-care. We dissect the notion of toxic positivity and how balancing it with a humanistic approach to medicine can lead to more empowered and informed patient care.
The closing chapter of our dialogue turns the lens towards the healers themselves, underscoring the importance of self-care and advocating for one's well-being in the medical profession. Dr. Wiseman and I share practical wisdom on navigating the landscape of medicine—where the myth of the perfect job is dissolved in the reality of self-advocacy. Moreover, we celebrate the sanctity of community, from the cozy confines of an intimate Slack group to the tranquility of wellness retreats in the embrace of nature. In this episode, we leave you with a powerful mantra to carry through the storms: rest, but never quit. Join us for an episode that promises to be as nurturing as it is enlightening.
Connect with Errin:
https://www.doctormefirst.com/
https://www.burntouttobadass.com/
Though I am a physician, this is not medical advice. This is only a tool that physicians can use to get ideas on how to deal with burnout and/or know they are not alone. If you are in need of medical assistance talk to your physician.
Learn more about female physicians' journey through burnout to thriving!
https://www.theworthyphysician.com/books
Let's connect for speaking opportunities!
https://www.theworthyphysician.com/dr-shahhaque-md-as-a-speaker
Check out the free resources from The Worthy Physician:
https://www.theworthyphysician.com/freebie-downloads
Battle of the Boxes
21 Day Self Focus Journal
I Dr Errin Weisman and today we're gonna discuss her journey and what she has learned coming out the other side of burnout and moral injury. But, more importantly, she's going to discuss how she's just being real and human, all the good, the bad and the ugly. That brings Welcome to another episode of the Worthy Physician. I'm your host, Dr. Sapna Shah-Haque, reigniting your humanity and passion for medicine. Dr. Weisman thank you so much for joining us.
Dr. Weisman:I'm so excited to be here with you, lady. We had recorded on my podcast and I was like need to know her more.
Dr. Shah-Haque:I could not agree with you more, and some of the passions that we share are primary care in the rule setting. Is that correct, Yep?
Dr. Weisman:when Dr Glock and Fleckin is talking about the rule medicine rotations. Have you seen those YouTube videos? Yes, oh, I got it. So resonates in my soul because I'm like, yes, that's 100% exactly what we do.
Dr. Shah-Haque:Yes, if the farmer's calling and he comes in without his right.
Dr. Weisman:Shit's not real.
Dr. Shah-Haque:It just got real it is, that is so true.
Dr. Weisman:And I literally had a patient this last week who, like we, were done with his appointment and it was one of those he's like. I just got to tell you this and you know, when you have a middle-aged, hardworking, blue collar man that says that like you got to sit back down and take the extra 15 minutes, yes, yes.
Dr. Shah-Haque:And why would that matter as far as medicine? Because the system wants us to see a patient every 15 or 20 minutes, sometimes 10 minutes. But I think it comes back to human connection, absolutely.
Dr. Weisman:We don't like we were talking about before, we hopped on the recording. We don't take care of books, we don't take care of numbers, we take care of people and there's a lot of times in my primary care office where I'm just meeting people where they're at and that can be a really hard place and you know what. That fucking takes time you cannot meet somebody where they're at in 10 minutes.
Dr. Shah-Haque:No, now you can. A lot of times it's just OK. What are your sign, symptoms and here, try this medication. It may or may not work. Come and see me in three months. It doesn't feel good to me. No, I don't think it feels good to patients either. I think a lot of patients are saying I don't feel well or I have this concern. Let's figure out. Help me figure out what's going on and getting to the root of the problem. And a lot of times it's an answer of just changing lifestyle and the patient buys into it because they're like I'm already on 15 medications, I don't want to take another one.
Dr. Weisman:Yeah, sometimes I think too it's so environmental and situational Because I practice addiction medicine as well. There's so many times that I sit with people and I can look back now a couple years and I always tell them that I'm like how far you've come. You have done this from where you were at. I would have them on multiple mental health medicines in addition to treating their substance use disorder and so much of. I think our human being life is situational and where we're at and the people and things that are around us and I think it just goes to show that even you and I are sitting here with a substance use disorder. But they're talking about how prevalent and how mental health is not going away, even though people are accessing and I just a lot of it to me.
Dr. Weisman:I have to get into what's home like for you. Do you feel safe? We started asking the in-depth, social, determinative health questionnaire about two months ago and it's been so interesting the answers we've gotten from people that I wouldn't have even thought to ask in your homelessness. There's about phones, cell phones, let's be honest. That's a huge source of connection. It's how we pay our bills, it's how we find out important information, and so it's just there's so many times that I'm not prescribing medication, really, if I'm really getting to the heart of some matters. Of course there are times when medication is appropriate, but yeah, and our system is not built for time, it's not built for that.
Dr. Shah-Haque:No, it's not and unfortunately it really hinders the patient-physician relationship just because you don't have that time to build that trust and that rapport. But one thing that you were telling me before we hopped on the recording was that how has the way you've practiced medicine from when you started out of residency to now, how has that changed, and if you could frame that for the audience, because I think that's very powerful.
Dr. Weisman:Yeah. So you had asked me a really beautiful question, which was what have I found most challenging with medicine? And I gave you the answer that it's both internal and environmental. I went into this career into college, med school, residency with the thought in my brain that if I worked hard enough and I did things exactly the right way, then it was going to work out, be that schooling and tests and residency like for me personally, because I don't come from a family of physicians or people in medicine. I come from good old, hardworking folks here in Indiana, and so I knew I didn't want to struggle and have the, honestly, the financial struggles or the job struggles that I saw within my family, and so that was, I would say it a lot that I may not be the smartest person in my class, but no one can outwork me, and it was something I very much cried in myself on and still to this day I know that I'm a very hard worker. But what that did was really start to escalate what I recognize now as a work addiction, where if I just work harder then things are going to work out. Because it was just like that eclation, work equals perfect situation, and I also translated that into patient care. If I gave people the very best, evidence-based, correct answer, medication, dose, all the things, then they were going to be fine and it was going to be so much better and they were going to be fixed. And I had so much nighttime anxiety, insomnia, even panic attacks. I would say when patients would call in and they would be worse or something would be going on, and I would directly translate that back to myself oh, I did something wrong, I'm not good enough, I should know more. You had to insert all of those negative downward spiral of almost calling yourself worthless and we use the word imposter syndrome and I really think imposter syndrome is just the ideation of not having self-compassion and letting that translate out, but having all those thoughts.
Dr. Weisman:I supervise a couple of nurse practitioners and I see them doing that. They're young in their careers, they're like one's just a year out, the other one's a couple more years out, but trying to strive to do the very best thing. And what I keep reminding them is like you're forgetting the human factor in this that you could do exactly what the book says to treat their hypertension and they may still have a stroke from malignant hypertension and we really have to get to the point that we understand we don't control the equation. There are so many factors that are in that they're invisible. We don't go home with patients. We can't make them take their medicine. Even if we do give them good medicine, they may have some crazy ass weird side effect that we've never seen with something that happens. Things just happen.
Dr. Weisman:And in order to for me, I think, to really overcome that, I circumvented I didn't see this at the time, but it was really like learning that I'm doing the best I can.
Dr. Weisman:I'm going to empower the patient to do the best they can and then also, no matter what comes up, you will know how to handle this. You'll either know what specialists to call, where to look for resources, referrals Like this is figureoutable and I think, since I've taken that approach in medicine and let go of my perfectionistic tendencies, it makes patient care more enjoyable. And also I'm just better about informed consent with patients like, hey, this is what we're gonna try. I literally say this is a science experiment on yourself. I have no idea how this is gonna turn out. I'm hoping my hypothesis is correct and this is how, what the evidence shows us, but also who knows? So just call me and I think, like giving that availability and that access to say I'm not gonna drop you on your head and also, if side effects come up, we'll manage it, we'll figure it out and instead of trying to be perfect and curtail all the potential bad things that could happen, it takes so much more pressure off of myself.
Dr. Shah-Haque:Yeah. So what you're doing is taking off the pressure and saying the results are based on my ability to be a doctor and saying, okay, I'm in, we're gonna try this. It may or may not work, and there are other things that feed into this equation that are completely out of my control. And so by telling patients that and it sounds like you're communicating beautifully with patients you know what we can try this. It may or may not work, but call. So that way we know if it is or not. Let us know if you're having side effects, instead of waiting three to six months and when patients know that it's okay to call or it's okay to page, because a lot of times I didn't know who to call after hours. There's usually a system in place and just by communicating that with patients, that really takes a load off.
Dr. Weisman:And I think too, in a world that everyone has an opinion being everyone's opinion, they feel like it's fact, especially when they go online, everybody's swap at medical advice.
Dr. Weisman:It just gives some softness to what we're trying to do and I think for me, trying to be an authoritative figure in my job, it just doesn't work.
Dr. Weisman:It didn't jive with me, like I said, just really struggled with it and what I really realized is nobody has all the answers, we're all just like figuring it out, keep that differential big and you just and really it's so much more like going with the flow which in a I am 100% like you said, a recovering perfectionist type A, probably a little OCD at times Like that has taken years of just practicing and seeing how it does work out. And I think that's where, as a younger clinician, I didn't have that behind me to be like okay, pump the brakes, you got a little time with this or you can manage the big bad things. And, like I said, I see that in my folks I work with to try to help mentor them and say it's okay if you don't start like four medications in one appointment, like just do one and then see them back and then do another one Cause that's like the beauty of family medicine is that we are in the longterm journey with them.
Dr. Shah-Haque:Yes you, primary care is that longterm relationship, and I'm an internist myself here in rural Kansas, and one of the things that we were talking about beforehand is also the barriers that patients face, not just in a not just in a rural setting, which sometimes is a little bit different because access to specialists or whatnot is not as readily available as maybe in some larger cities. But just acknowledging and, like you said, meeting the patient where they're at and knowing that we're treating humans is so beautifully said, as well as the fact that saying imposter syndrome is the opposite of self-compassion. Could you expand on what you mean by that?
Dr. Weisman:For several years we've been dissecting it. We've been studying it in female physicians. It occurs some in male physicians, but we're definitely seeing a lot of prevalence within female physicians. I myself have taught lectures on it I it's a section in one of my book, doctor Me First, and what I really realized is that imposter, typically in our head, has very negative voice. It's very oh, I can't do this and show up, someone's gonna find out. You know that I'm not as good as what they think. I can't believe they're paying me this much and I don't know enough.
Dr. Weisman:So the opposite of that would be again like I think I say this to myself all the time is like you're doing the best that you can with what you have in this time and just recognizing the best I have today is different than my best 12 years ago and it'll be different than 12 years in the future. But as long as I'm, I stay in this frame point and recognize what resources I have. And that changes too when you're running on pretty thin margins. You've got a seven week old, your breastfeeding, you're trying to see patients, but you're up all night. You've got other children to take care of, spouses traveling throw all the life stuff in. I think we also have to start again. That's where self-compassion comes in and like recognizing that when your margin in your life gets thin, of course maybe you're not doing the same work that if you didn't have children or life was smooth and you weren't going through a divorce. But you can't. What if yourself and beat yourself up for that? Because that is not the reality and I think that's really important. There's a lot of stuff about the body and like the quote of the day and that, and to me it does get into toxic positivity because you're putting on those rose colored glasses and vice versa.
Dr. Weisman:There's a lot of times that I use like really rough self-talk to be like come on, erin, pick yourself up, let's go study an hour longer, finish these five more notes, almost like that. Like really I envision like a coach in my head with like blowing the whistle at me and spurring me on that willpower. Willpower is a finite skill. So I've really focused on what is the reality right, what is truly happening around me, and when I sit down and I think about both the good, the bad and the ugly, it's okay some days if I walk away from clinic and I got patients to take a care of and I have not done one fucking note because I need to get home or I got to run a kid to a basketball game, so like it's one day. But that imposter is like, oh my gosh, I didn't finish it and people are gonna find out and I got notes overdue and da-da, and. But if I were to go tell my boss, hey, this and this is happening, my notes will get done eventually. It's just not gonna happen right now. Then any reasonable person is gonna see that.
Dr. Weisman:And so that's where I think realistically, looking at our lives which sometimes that takes an extra person a coach, a therapist to who has the 20,000 foot view to be like, do you not recognize? Like how many bowls you're juggling right now and you're beating yourself up about this one thing I'm very quickly coming into the sandwich generation. So I've got kids and I've got parents. A lot of folks are that's where we're at. I personally struggle with chronic medical conditions, so you throw that on board. I just got a promotion at work, so that comes with extra responsibilities. Realistic thinking is so important. And then slather that over with compassion both for myself, for the situation, for the other complex beings that I bump into throughout the day and for this world in general, because, yes, it is a dumpster fire and, yes, there are big, beautiful things happening as well.
Dr. Shah-Haque:I appreciate that juxtaposition of a dumpster fire, but there are so many beautiful things happening as well. That's life and there's the trajectory of. This is where I want my life to be, and then there's what it is, and you're right. We need to acknowledge that and then acknowledge the fact that, yeah, there are some days I come out of clinic and I'm lucky if I remember my name or how to get home and those at the end of the day I walk away. The notes will get done in a timely manner, but they're not gonna be done today.
Dr. Weisman:Oh, there's plenty of times I come home and I tell the kids like, hey, mommy's gonna take a nap for an hour and then we can do homework and dinner and all the things, go watch a movie, and I used to think I'm such a bad parent, I'm such a terrible mother. But what I realized is I am literally tapped out. There's nothing less left to juice out of me and, yeah, like I gotta sleep, I gotta do something. So then I can and luckily my kids are old enough now. It was so much harder when they were little. I talk to everybody now. Everybody can wipe their own butts, they can use the microwave, they can pour their own drinks without spilling Like.
Dr. Weisman:To all those mamas out there who have small children like I, just send you a lot of light and love right now, because I did not realize how hard that was gonna be and I have three kids that are spaced out six years, so it has been a whole to get. It's been 12 years to get to this point and, looking back on it, I'm like, you know, wonder. Like I was trying to rush them through bath time and I would dress them in the clothes that they were gonna wear tomorrow at night, so I wouldn't have to redress them unless they like peed the bed in the morning because I was just doing the best I can and like trying to figure out innovative ways with it. We have probably a semi load of pop tarts in this house.
Dr. Weisman:I can't remember the last time I like cooked a breakfast for people. Because again, you gotta pick your battles and you also have to look at the reality of what truly is important here. What truly is important Now? What are some things that I can just let slide, but because I wasn't making those super healthy, organic insert, whatever type of food, eliminating all plastics, I had so much mom guilt about it and, I think again, so much imposter syndrome. I'm not being the best that I can be, but we need to scratch that idea and it's no, you're being the best that you can be in this time with the energy and resources that you have.
Dr. Shah-Haque:Oh, thank you for telling me that. Thank you for telling us, then. Just thanks for bringing it up, because now we're just getting down to the truth. And even thanks for bringing that up because like it's hard and there's this idea of perfectionism to be perfect in every aspect of life. Like everybody has to be a Pinterest mom. You have to have a house that looks immaculate, like on the magazine cover and, yeah, my house looks like my kids live here, because you have their artwork on the wall and you have their toys over the place.
Dr. Weisman:I literally have. Look at this post note on my desk. Look at this shit all behind me. I know you guys are podcasting.
Dr. Shah-Haque:You can't see it.
Dr. Weisman:But that's one reason, like I just keep it real. I hate when I go on a podcast and either they have the fakey background or they have a very curated setup, because I'm like what are you hiding? What's behind the screen? You know what I mean. Because I think more of us, if we could authentically, if we could just authentically say fuck it, this is who I am, this is how I'm showing up, I'm doing the best that I can right now, then we would be more easily ready to accept help too.
Dr. Weisman:That's one thing I've learned is when you stop hiding and then, when people offer things that you truly need, you're like oh, thank God, I definitely need that. Or also, on the flip side, when people see, like, how very real you are and I don't spread my whole life story to my patients, but many of them know why I don't carry a full schedule is because of my own health. That it's a connection like that. No other and it almost gives them permission to be. Like Dr Wiseman can do that, then I can do that too. And just recognizing that we are all just trying to cope and get through. I don't care who you are, you are fighting your own battles and though they may look different and sound different than others, you're still in it right now. This life is not easy.
Dr. Shah-Haque:Life is not easy. Life is not easy and it's not easy to be in a perfectionistic profession, but, like you said, acknowledging the fact that you're doing the best that you can with what you have in that time and space is really key and is something that is completely not taught to us in any of our training. I don't think.
Dr. Weisman:No, no. I think that's why I have my program burnt out to bad ass and why I continually talk about burnout. Because, friend, I didn't just have one burnout and then, like now, it's all like rainbows and sunshine and like no problems. I haven't gotten as deep as that first event, a burnout, where I did have suicidal ideation. I did have a plan. I was grasping for straws to figure out like how can I be out of pain? Now what it looks like is I, can I have those red flags when I know like I'm overworking, oh, my brain's going back into that mode where it's not in a great place and I can make those shifts. But I hate going on podcasts or I hate listening to other people's stories who come on and they like have this huge, like the ventures tail, they go and do it and then they like have their happy ending. And I guess, like my pearl of wisdom today for everybody is there is no fucking happy ending, you just keep going. It's just the next best step. And, yes, I can say I have come back better.
Dr. Weisman:I do practice medicine differently, but even in this newest iteration of myself, this newest chapter, like I'm still continuing at times to just the other day, for example, about a month ago, I was bringing a lot of stuff home. I had taken my addiction boards at the beginning of the month, so I had put a lot of the like non-essential work behind. So I was like six months behind on chart reviews for my years practitioners and I had done modules you got to do for work like the clicky boxes and answer the questions. Like haven't done any of them all year and that's typically not like me. I usually try to get them done by the deadline. But now that I was through my addiction board I was like, okay, you got to do all the things, but what I realized was I was telling myself that because I was avoiding being at home, because there was hard things happening at home, and I was like legitimizing my overwork at that point because work is my drug and that's how, when I feel productive and I feel okay, it numbs all those feelings. It numbs all those thoughts about like how hard life is and I was like whoa, like I'm charting at 11 o'clock at night you said you would never do this again, erin Like I had to physically stop.
Dr. Weisman:I'd be like what's going on here? I'll name it to tame it and recognize it. So, like I really want to tell all of your listeners that, like on the internet, you can Google me, you can go to my websites. It looks amazing and stuff, but like the real true story is I'm like 10 steps ahead of you. That's it.
Dr. Weisman:I have a little bit of extra video magic that you haven't gotten to your brain yet, but there is no perfect and I think I just really want to address that, because I think there's a lot of life coaches out there who like paint this rainbows and sunshine picture and get people into programs, into coaching, and then people are so sorely disappointed, like where's my fucking sunshine? And what I have to tell you is it's like micro steps, it's those small changes, it's that being able to recognize when you're starting to get crispy around the edges with burnout and be like we don't do that anymore. Okay, what do I need to shift and change? What do I need to say no to? What do I need to bring more into my life?
Dr. Weisman:Who needs to be out of my life and who needs to be in more Like all those little things, because there is no cure for burnout in today's world. If you practice medicine, there's no cure. I don't care if you find the perfect job in the perfect organization in the perfect location with the perfect people you work with. It does not exist. So instead we need to give ourselves a pass and be like again. Like how can I do my best work in the time and space that I'm in with the best resources that I have available to me and take off that expectation of it's better somewhere else? Or oh, they have it easier because they're at insert fake institution name. It's bullshit.
Dr. Shah-Haque:Yeah, I thank you for saying that, because the grass is always greener on the other side. Every place has their own issues, but the thing is-.
Dr. Weisman:We're in the rural areas. If the grass is greener, it's because it's got more shit on it than ours Literally yes.
Dr. Shah-Haque:Literally. I understand I wouldn't trade working rural medicine for anything. I love the craziness. I absolutely adore the patients. It's my responsibility to know what I will do and what I won't do, because the system doesn't care about us.
Dr. Weisman:Yes, I think everyone needs to recognize that, like I'm an old millennial, I reckon I kind of align with Ginex, but I also align with millennials as well. They talk about everybody got a trophy and that kind of thing. As I'm working with the younger residents and med students that are coming up, that is one thing that I continually tell them is okay, your parents love you. They don't work here. No one gives a shit about some of this stuff and I'm sorry, but that is the hard, true reality. Hopefully your generation can help us change that. But as of right now, you have to advocate for yourself. You have to know when to say no, you have to have boundaries and also you've got to recognize that no one's coming to save you.
Dr. Weisman:That was a huge thing in my own burnout when I recognized no one's going to save you. You got to be your own damn superhero. What are you going to do about it? Because, it is true, no one's going to be counting your hours anymore at work. Nobody cares how late you're staying up at night during charting. They can look and they can know. But are they going to approach you about it? Probably not. I literally just did a contract. Read through, for she's a nurse practitioner that's starting a new job and I'm like I told her. I was like you need to think about a moving stipend, you need to think about a cost of living raise written into your contract, you need to think about a retention bonus. Just that those aren't in the contract. And I'm like you're right, because they don't give a shit and they're not going to tell you that's an auction.
Dr. Shah-Haque:So for the listeners, I would highly recommend to listen to these things because, as you go to negotiate a contract, a lawyer is definitely worth the money. But look at these things and actually take this practical advice, because you have to be your own advocate in every realm and at every step, because gone are the days where they actually give a shit about the well-being of physicians. We have to care about our own well-being and thank you for saying that, because, yeah, they can look, but they're not going to say oh, dr Weisman or Dr Shahak, I'm so sorry that you were up at midnight charting or going over labs. The thing is that as long as the charts are done, they're being able to be submitted and build.
Dr. Weisman:That's all they care about.
Dr. Shah-Haque:Right.
Dr. Weisman:Yeah, I think this goes to. This is what has helped me take days off is no one's going to come to me and say, dr Weisman, you just look tired and have you thought about taking a mental health day? I have some people who recognize that, but on the general, people aren't going to do that. You just have to step up and call in and be like I'm not coming in today. Or one thing I highly encourage all the listeners to do I quarterly plan ahead to take days off, whether or not I have anything scheduled or not. Because, yes, every couple months you need a break and, let's be honest, vacations with kids are not restful. So I highly encourage people take that time off quarterly when the kids are in school or they go to daycare or they're away, so you could just literally sit at home in your pajamas and drink a whole pot of coffee in, watch Netflix for six hours. That is totally acceptable After your days off.
Dr. Weisman:Again, during this contract negotiation the scale her day, her hours. If she doesn't use them, she loses them. There's no rollover. So that was one of the things I told her. I was like you use every fucking hour that they give you. Go ahead and plan it all out, and I know that's scary for folks who are paid on the almighty RVU. And also it's so important. Rest, recovery is so important.
Dr. Weisman:My saying is and I'm writing a book on it right now if work is your drug, rest is your detox, rest is your recovery, you must have it in your life Because guess what, if you just work and work going back to where we started this conversation if I work hard enough, everything will work out. Is a full statement. If you work hard enough, or harder and harder, you will burn out. You will become severely depressed, have major anxiety, insomnia, physical, mental, emotional, spiritual issues. So it's not about the work, and we also need to really define what is healthy work as well. For me, a full FTE is not healthy work. I don't think a full FTE is healthy for anybody Because, let's be honest, a full FTE, in doctor's speak, is like two jobs in other sectors of work.
Dr. Shah-Haque:I have an attending from residency that she jokes around with me. I say I work part-time and she goes. So you work full-time as a doctor. Because she reiterated exactly what you said that working as a full-time doctor is working two full-time jobs, and then you add life on top of that. So, yeah, I don't ever see myself going back to full-time, and if I do decide to, it's because that is my choice. But right now, the way what I'm doing is it's sustainable.
Dr. Weisman:And that's the other thing is like giving yourself permission to change, like your life, your children, your family, the world at large is gonna look so different five years. Like staying at one place and getting the gold watch at retirement just is not realistic anymore. We need to give ourselves a chance to say if it stays, good, great. And if things change, I can change with them. Because I deal with so much guilt and shame with folks who they honestly need to change jobs. They need to do something very different. But there's something that's built into us, that loyalty, that sense of serving. This is the only thing that I can do and I just want to call bullshit on that. No, you can make iterations and changes. And again, we're doing a science experiment on ourself. We're doing an if-then statement If I go part-time, then I'll feel better. We'll put it into action and see what happens. You got to do the fucking experiment.
Dr. Weisman:And if that changes because that's what's happened in my own life with a job, I was part-time and then I was like, yeah, it still doesn't feel right and it's so important to re-establish, re-introduce yourself to that little small voice, that feeling, that thing inside of you that we like to call your gut Because she's one smart bitch, like there's things sometimes. I've been recently house searching. I went into a house. I loved it and then I curled under the crawl space. There's my real-heir laughter at me but I'm like, no, I want to see and I'm like I don't know what that's wrong down here, but I just got a feeling stuff was bad. Got the inspection report, yep, major foundation issues. My gut knew what she was poking at me about and I think that only comes from a place of where you have margin and you have time to sit with yourself. If you're so busy and running like a chicken with your head cut off, you don't have the time or space to even realize those cues that you're getting.
Dr. Shah-Haque:That's so insightful it really is. We have to sit and be able to listen to ourselves.
Dr. Weisman:And hello. We're humans. We're going to have emotions and feelings and thoughts. Like, just as your heart beats, your brain's going to have thousands and thousands of thoughts. They don't mean that they're all true. I think that's an important thing to remember too. So it's going back to be like what's the real reality happening here? Brain, are you just like making catastrophizing a situation? Because I don't know. My kids love the movie Inside Out. I do too.
Dr. Shah-Haque:There's a second one coming out. What are you?
Dr. Weisman:really excited about, but it's just this emotion, like really tuned up right now, and so that's where all my thoughts are going, maybe, and so that's important to recognize too.
Dr. Weisman:But you can only do that when you un-busy yourself and, I'll be honest, that's like the hardest thing to do, because it's so much easier to like read a self-help book, listen to all the podcasts, do deep clean your house. I find when I do try to sit still and I know I need to like to do that that's when I'm like, oh, let's clean out the bathroom closet. So one of my life hacks is I have a lot of farm animals and like getting outside, getting into nature, interacting with creatures, really helps me to slow my brain, to be with myself, maybe doing farm chores. There's it's actually called green care. You can Google it. It's a thing just like equestrian or equine therapy. It's like green therapy, but it's about getting out into nature, taking care of something else, be it on the farm or if you're in a more urban area having a little porch garden, which I know a lot of us, a lot of folks, did in COVID.
Dr. Weisman:There's now science that's showing that if you're not a yoga meditation person like me, then maybe introducing some of this green therapy in your life is what you need to focus on a little more. I'm not into spas. I don't want to go get a fucking facial or pedicure that's not my GM but I know that I go outside and just like I love mowing grass, because you're just sitting there and like just I'm doing something, but yet I'm also like processing my thoughts as well. So I've really gotten away from like earbuds in all the time, or like I've slowed down on my podcast listening or do audible or ebooks, like I've really purposely made myself stop multitasking like that so that when I am doing something, I can just be with my thoughts.
Dr. Shah-Haque:Now. Thank you for that and I share the same sentiment. Mowing the grass is one of my favorite things because it's just quiet time. It's just quiet time and you can process a lot that. But what that is an example of is something that's going to be on the schedule, that you look forward to, and you are going to be alone with your thoughts of nothing else. That's quote unquote white space.
Dr. Weisman:It's the same thing for hiking. I do that. I kayak by myself as well. Like for me, I have to peer some kind of motion with alone time, and maybe one day I will settle in more meditation and into some of these other activities. But I've found my recipe and I'm going to keep doing it.
Dr. Weisman:So I'm going to share it with everybody. Ingredient number one is rest like true rest, not just like a weekend nap on Sunday, but like really real, true recovery type rest, and that could be large or small. I've taken sabbaticals. I help people set up sabbaticals and do them well. Number two is connection with nature and animals Super important for me, like I mentioned the green therapy. Number three recipe for me is self compassion, which we talked a whole bunch about earlier. And the last one is community. I can't tell you how important it is for me to have like-minded people who get me, who accept me where I'm at. That doesn't always happen in our real communities. I've had to really find a lot of online friends, people now that I could text at 2 am and who have my back. That doesn't always look like the families you're born into.
Dr. Weisman:I know that I live in the Bible doubt and some of my beliefs now do not interact well with the beliefs that I were brought up with and that's okay. But it's find your tribe, find your people, love them hard. So that's like my big four ingredients that are really working well for me.
Dr. Shah-Haque:I appreciate that. I appreciate that, and community in that tribe is so important. That's a protective mechanism. Everything that you said are protective mechanisms and the tribe does not always have to be in the same geographical area. Covid showed us that we can build a tribe, even virtually, so thank you for mentioning that. Where can the listeners find you and your website and your podcast?
Dr. Weisman:All over the place. So it's Erin with two Rs and Wise Man's fellow we is man. You Google me, you'll find all my shit. But to my podcast. I have a couple of them, because podcasts are like 10 twos Once you get one, you're probably gonna get some more. So my initial one that came out in 2017, it's crazy how amazing this. I call her my race. Worse, she's the one that just keeps going and going. But it's Dr Me first, because it's so important for us to take care of ourselves. And so, dr Me first. We are well into, I think, 450 episodes at this point. Don't even start back at the beginning. They were awful then. I'm just gonna chup with me now.
Dr. Weisman:My other one is called Burnteltabad Ass. It drops a season each year, so we're going into season four on it and it's all about telling burnout stories and not just doctor burnout stories, but from all sorts of people and finding out what those people's recipes were to come through it, because I think it's so important to know there are many roads to recovery, there's many roads to flourishing, and so same thing. Websites are the same DrBeverzecom or BurnteltabadAsscom, if you're interested in being in my community, because I love my people and I hold them close. We just do a Slack group. I don't like Facebook, it's too fucking loud, so we just do a real small Slack. I think we're about 250 members strong now and it's just fun to be able to pop in there and ask questions, get support. People ask hey, has anybody dealt with XYZ? And I guarantee probably somebody has, or at least I know somebody to point you into the right direction, and I think that's important to do as well.
Dr. Weisman:Again, like that community piece, and then I also do, and they're just fun. They're retreats on my farm, just again, to show people like what I do and see if that jives with them, so that then they can take it home. And it's called the badass retreat because I resonate a lot with them. So if you wanna come to Indiana sometime and hang out, usually we do it late summer, but looking maybe to start doing a few more a year. I had been doing three, then life happened and got busy and I've gone down to one but, I think I'm ready to start doing a few more.
Dr. Shah-Haque:That sounds awesome, especially a retreat on a farm. I think, again, that's just. There's something natural and intuitive about that. So, thank you very much, and all this will be in the show notes.
Dr. Weisman:Yeah, we don't do, bougie, but I will do extra. So, a little different from all the like female physician retreats that happen at Mirvil and like where you gotta spend $1,000 a night somewhere, mine is if you pay your, you gotta pay your transportation, but if you show up it's free. Now you're probably gonna be sleeping on like an air mattress and a sleeping bag.
Dr. Shah-Haque:Like again, it's not bougie, but it's just nice to cut out the all the extra noise and get back to reconnecting with nature. Can you reiterate your last pearl wisdom for our listeners please?
Dr. Weisman:What pearl do I wanna leave you with? I think I just wanna tell people you're doing okay. You're doing okay. Even if you're in the middle of shit river and you feel like you're drowning, you're still alive. You're still fighting. Find a way to rest, but don't quit.
Dr. Shah-Haque:Thank you for that. Thank you for your time and your multiple points of insight and just great wisdom. So if you have found this helpful, share with a friend, because we could all use camaraderie.