Episode 10: Discussing Spirituality, Mindfulness, and Reconnection with Randy Silkwood

I sat down and interviewed Randy Silkwood, who is described as  a rebel who goes against the grain to find spirituality in anything.  We discussed spirituality, mindfulness, reconnection, and standing in one's power, which ties multiple points together that have previously been mentioned by physician guests.  

Though I am a physician, this is not medical advice. This is only a tool that physicians can use to get ideas on how to deal with burnout and/or know they are not alone. If you are in need of medical assistance talk to your physician.


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Transcript

Hi, welcome to the worthy physician podcast. I am your host, Dr. Sapna Shah-Haque, a board certified internal medicine physician. Keep life simple. You are human. You are worthy. Remember what matters to you Our goal is to help physicians remember this and to make it a reality through addressing various components of physician burnout via podcast. This is meant to be used as a tool to help guide physicians. It does not take place of professional medical help opinions reflected in this are my own. Today. In this episode of the worthy physician podcast, I sat down and talked with Randy Silkwood. He is described as a rebel who will go against the grain to find spirituality in anything. He is the host of the reframed podcast, as well as the blog and coaching website. We sat down and talked about spirituality, mindfulness, reconnecting, and standing in your power. Sit back, listen, and enjoy.

Dr. Shah-Haque

  01:27 - 01:34

No thank you very much for being here and taking your time. Tell me who you are and what you do.

Randy Silkwood

  01:35 - 02:33

Oh, well, thank you so much separate for having me. My name is Randy Silkwood. I am a personal power. It's a big fancy title, right So I had to put up, it had to be branded somewhere, but a coach, a speaker, really an advocate for, for soulful and meaningful connections with people. My baseline that I operate from as a matter of working with your spiritual self and your spirituality, your mindset, mindset practices, mental health matters and connection because I've, I've come to believe that in order to live a life where we're truly engaged with our real self, our genuine self it's, it's a combination of connecting your spiritual practice, whatever it may be, your mindset, mental health, and your connection with the world around you. So thank you for having me.

Dr. Shah-Haque

  02:33 - 03:43

Thank you. And no, I agree. A hundred percent. I know we were talking about some of these things prior to that. So it's so interwoven, I think, into who we are as human beings. So why would I have you on a podcast about physician burnout And I think the first thing that really stuck out to me was number one, mental health, number two, the suicide prevention. It sounds like you're pretty, you're pretty much an advocate for that or the, this podcast. And the origin is really huge because number one, physicians were great at trying to heal others, but we probably make the worst patients where we operate in a system where when we try to take that step back, it is penalized instead of rewarded. So what is your kind of your insight on when, when do you tell your clients to push that pause button What are some of the warning signs

Randy Silkwood

  03:44 - 04:43

The pause button. So, so it's a really to qualify the pause button, we say pause or mindfulness, right. But I really encourage everyone to take an intentional pause at least once a week. I don't know what everyone's schedules look like. Ideally for me, I take one day a week and that's my pause button. some people don't have that opportunity, but first off, making sure that you're pressing that pause button with intention. Oftentimes we wait because we keep pushing ourselves. We're our own worst critic and we'll continue to push ourselves until we're past that point to kind of that point of no return. I always advocate creating an environment for yourself. That's a time for yourself and a place for you. So take it as at least once a week, depending on how you feel.

Dr. Shah-Haque

  04:43 - 04:56

Sure. And when you say intentional, are you giving the listener permission to just be, I mean, to just do nothing, to just be, to enjoy life

Randy Silkwood

  04:57 - 05:57

Absolutely. To just be reefer, gotten how to be still be at peace. Some people like to meditate on my one client who loves to practice Zen. I love the idea. I'm going to tell you I'm a mover and a shaker. So I can't set down for a long time, but my me time is customized to me as I was sharing with you on the weekends. I like especially one day, I, I completely shut off the phone, social media, I'm up on a horse out in nature. Whatever is going to really connect you through. I think, stillness and bring you to an appreciation of the opportunity of life. We get so busy living and, and operating in the should zone or the half twos that we really don't have the opportunity to get to the, I get to zone where we cultivate

Dr. Shah-Haque

  05:59 - 06:10

Sure. And we know that number one, you, you have a client for next summer because I would love to come out there and do some horseback riding and trail trail with you.

Randy Silkwood

  06:11 - 06:12

Come on,

Dr. Shah-Haque

  06:13 - 06:57

That's going to be on the books. And I'm serious because you know, we're in a fluorescent, we're in fluorescent lights, whether it be in the office or the hospital, we're not built for that. being outside, being in nature, being grounded, being rooted. so when people say I take off my shoes and I go play in the dirt, I think that is something that we've forgotten how to do and how we connect with nature, because there is energy, there is energy within the earth. So by going out and disconnecting from the computer, which can actually trigger anxiety as we've, as we're learning, that's huge.

Randy Silkwood

  06:58 - 07:53

Yes. Getting out in nature. It, if that's your thing, I recommend it for everybody because there's so many, and I didn't even know this before, but just kind of learning a little bit about trees. You know, there's certain trees that release certain chemicals that can help fight off inflammation, so many different things. I, I think it's called show re Sharin Yoko. it's called, it's a Japanese technique for forest bathing. It's also just an incredible opportunity to put yourself in nature and to just be present. Sure. Because physicians, anyone who works in the medical field yeah. There you're in a war zone and from so many angles, the environment, there's not enough, of course, windows and natural light. We can talk about all of the, all of those are really barriers to a holistic approach of, of, of mental health. Sure.

Dr. Shah-Haque

  07:54 - 08:10

Yeah. And that's not even bringing into the system and the expectations and the culture and, and, you know, that's, that's why does the system need to change Yes. But it's going to be a long time until that happens.

Randy Silkwood

  08:11 - 08:13

How absolutely.

Dr. Shah-Haque

  08:13 - 08:43

And currently we need to take in that self inventory and see where we are on the spectrum of, Hey, is everything okay And if it's not, you know, what does that look like So we've addressed. It's okay to push that pause button and you need to push that pause button, learn to exist, learn to be happy. And you mentioned gratitude. Why is showing gratitude so important

Randy Silkwood

  08:45 - 09:57

I that's, that's such a good question. I love when I get to talk about gratitude. So thanks for opening up the floor for that gratitude is so, because it allows us the opportunity to really fill ourselves up with reasons that life is okay. Now I think it would be remiss to say if you're, if you're having a really bad day, I'm not going to say, Hey, write 10 things. You're grateful for that. The Smith's about the experience. But when we come, I love to do gratitude in my mornings. as a ritual, I try to scan the past 24 hours of my life and find unique examples of things to be grateful for. Sometimes we, when we start, oh, I'm grateful for coffee and grateful for good weather, et cetera. But it's really, as we begin to sift through even the past 24 hours, you can start to see that you're more than just existing, right. But you're, you're, you're touching the, the, the, the outer layer of what I believe personal power to be.

Dr. Shah-Haque

  09:59 - 10:04

And can you, can you go a little bit more into what you believe personal power is

Randy Silkwood

  10:05 - 11:01

Absolutely. So personal power. There's this big play. I try not to use the word authenticity. I think it's so overplayed that they start to put it on a cup. I'm done with it, like longer my word. Right So, so personal power is coming to that place within your being an understanding who you are. We get so focused on the especially positions in the doing. You are not what you do. You're not at your core. You you're, you're a mom, you're passionate about your boots and your leather jacket. And there's so much to your existence. That's outside of what you do, what you do merely allows you the opportunity to do or should do more of what you enjoy.

Dr. Shah-Haque

  11:01 - 12:12

Right. And I think that's where medicine has. We had, we had been talking about the culture beforehand. We don't, we don't have this culture of, it's okay to stop and take care of yourself. And it's okay to have things outside of medicine that define you. And I have found myself over the last couple of years because of, loss of colleagues via suicide and other things that I've really had to go back and really said, okay, I have to push this pause button because if I don't, I'm going to leave medicine. I'd rather go be a bar tender and at least not have all the liability. Right. So I've had to put some, some barriers in mind, personal life. I only worked three days a week. I have plenty of time with my family. And on those days, other things are really non-existent. I can enjoy still wearing my boots and my leather jacket to clinic and not out the door and never coming back in again.

Randy Silkwood

  12:12 - 12:12

Right.

Dr. Shah-Haque

  12:13 - 12:44

How would one potentially know that they have to maybe hit that pause button or maybe look at what makes them grateful Because sometimes, I mean, it's, it's difficult to develop a habit, particularly when it is something that has not been ingrained in you in this culture of medicine, or maybe it was part of you beforehand, but sometimes it gets lost. How does one regain that

Randy Silkwood

  12:45 - 13:50

First thing that I would say to you or anyone who asked me this question is be the rebel. We all like to rebel rights, either rebel and start that gratitude and practicing it within six weeks, six days, six months, whatever it is will begin to show up within your being within your character. Like, there's that book, you know, the title, don't sweat, the small stuff. Yes. When you realize that, oh, this thing, no, that your partner, sometimes our partners get aggravating and we can be snappy when we're stressed and tired, when you can relate and relive a moment. But this time when it happens, or somebody irritates you, you respond with joy. Like, that's a benefit. So practicing gratitude, it's going to be hard, but it's again, it's, it's like getting up, getting up in the morning to go running or go for a walk. It takes time and effort. But the biggest thing that it takes is a belief and a desire for you to become a more fuller version of who you want to be.

Dr. Shah-Haque

  13:51 - 14:01

And I think anybody at any point in their life could benefit from that because wherever we start out with that can always, that can always just get better. Is that correct

Randy Silkwood

  14:02 - 14:58

Yeah. Yeah. No matter where you are, I feel like there should, there should be a class that they teach little ones that's about daily gratitude, like brush your teeth clean, you know, do your hair, take a shower, practice your gratitude. It's fundamental. And it, again, it sounds so cliche because it's, oh, that's so simple, but really the most powerful things in your life are always going to be this simple. I think for physicians, there is, I think it's very hard for two things because you're torn between two worlds, right The culture that's within the medical profession. And then you've got the culture that what's out, that's on the outside. Right All my family all is in the medical medical profession. My sister's, husband's a physician. My sister's a nurse prac. And you really, I've grown up seeing that kind of painful double standard. And there's all of these assumptions.

Randy Silkwood

  14:58 - 15:37

You know, people in the office have these assumptions of what you need to do or what you should do, the medical community. You, you have to be careful about what you say because in how you go about your life, because again, the community is so small. Then on the outside society has this very unrealistic belief of what a doctor is. I though the one thing that I hear more than anything that I have heard when I think it's absolutely heartbreaking is that it's always about the income. I don't know if you've had that experience, but I always have heard such great emphasis on the income aspect.

Dr. Shah-Haque

  15:39 - 16:41

There, there is that. I think that is also because we started a decade behind everybody else. And then also the amount of debt. I think that if you look at the trajectory of what medical school was in the 1990s versus I came out with a half a million dollars from a state school, that was just, that was just med school. luckily Kansas has a student loan forgiveness program. If you go out into an underserved area, which really aligned with my values of not working for a nonprofit. so that's, that's why I came out to Winfield and that's, I love it here. It's a very accepting community, very, physician friendly, very, and the patients. I absolutely love. So I'm going to be here for a while. I can see myself retiring here, but it took me a few maneuvers to get to this spot where yes, the income and the quality of life are balanced

Randy Silkwood

  16:42 - 16:42

Right

Dr. Shah-Haque

  16:43 - 17:01

Now. I could go make double, but I would have to probably work every weekend, work every holiday. And you can't pay me enough to be away from my kids for Christmas. I mean, that's huge.

Randy Silkwood

  17:02 - 17:13

Yeah. Yeah. And, and that's the choice. And if you're already in your personal power zone, you're really starting to warm that up because you know what you're worth and you understand there is an exchange. Yes.

Dr. Shah-Haque

  17:15 - 17:18

And not everything is not, everything has a monetary value.

Randy Silkwood

  17:19 - 17:19

No.

Dr. Shah-Haque

  17:21 - 17:22

And that's what people don't understand.

Randy Silkwood

  17:23 - 17:48

There's an energetic one, right You can't be at two places at once, right Like economics, there's no such thing as a free lunch. It's going to cost somewhere. But really I would, this is how I lived my philosophy. I would rather, it cost me money than my cheap. I want to, I want to build the memories and live a life that I get to live. Not a life that I have to live.

Dr. Shah-Haque

  17:50 - 17:55

I could not have said that better myself. I agree. 100%. I'm

Randy Silkwood

  17:56 - 17:57

Not on track. Yeah.

Dr. Shah-Haque

  17:60 - 18:48

But the thing is, is that for me to realize that I had to, I, I lost, I lost a colleague to suicide, you know And, the thing is, is that 300 to 400 physicians commit, you know, die by suicide a year. And the exit strategy of 20% of the other physicians that are, yeah. There's an exit strategy over the next couple of years. So that's huge. And a lot of physicians are, unfortunately they don't have that insight. so that's, that's the reason why I'm, I'm trying to get, bring these different topics on.

Randy Silkwood

  18:49 - 18:49

Good.

Dr. Shah-Haque

  18:50 - 18:53

So how do, how do you learn to thrive in chaos

Randy Silkwood

  18:54 - 20:11

Thriving in chaos I love that. It says a good question. And again, to anyone who, and you touched my heart talking about, you know, your friend who committed suicide, that that is such a, such a personal pain. That just goes so deeper than, and to anyone who is, or has been, you know, is looking at that as thinking that's an option. You know, my, my, my first response is find your person to connect with, be vulnerable and make the conscious choice, because you are so much more than this one moment in this point, there's so much more to life. so there was, you agree, your question was, how do we find, how do we thrive in the chaos Again, I bribing, it's one of those words. It's not a cup. I need new words, you know give me some new words, thriving in the chaos calms from the point of, of backtracking. Okay. So going into your spirituality, what are your spiritual practices You have to have something that's going to connect you to your higher power, whatever it is.

Randy Silkwood

  20:12 - 21:15

And the reason for that is if you're always conscious and you're always connected, understanding that you are Laval loved you're in your perfect. And I do believe this. You hear this thought that, oh, we're broken. I am so over hearing about how everybody is broken. We're all damaged. Now. We've all had experiences that we have to overcome, but you're not damaged. You're not imperfect. There's nothing that you will ever go through. That's not reversible. So I think it starts with thriving there and starts with your spiritual practice, whatever it is. If it's walking around barefoot bag, that's my favorite thing to do on launch. I throw off my shoes and I walk around my yard. and then your mindsets and, and, and your mindset begins not with self-help books, but it begins with, I'm accepting me in this moment. It's not, it's not it's mindfulness, but I love mindfulness because it's spiritual, but it's also so reflective, right

Randy Silkwood

  21:15 - 22:10

She'd pause. Take that breath. And then when you really realized that, that allows you to connect with not only the people, but the world around you, because there's always going to be chaos. There's always going to be stress. There are always going to be so much going on, but again, we are so much bigger than that moment where we're always worried in a way I find myself getting there too. I haven't evolved to that level, but we're going to be worried about, am I doing it right Am I doing the best job I couldn't imagine having somebody's life in your hands as most physicians do as a coach. I think that sometimes I have my life in people's hands in a different aspect, and that's a tremendous amount of responsibility, right Hands give our best. And unless we truly know that we are at our best, right.

Randy Silkwood

  22:11 - 23:24

And forgiveness plays a huge role where, you know, there's liability insurance and things like that. And then my sister was sharing with me as we were kind of going through some of your previous episodes. but you have to understand who you are in, what, in that mistakes happen. You're more than your mistakes. You're more than your traumas. We're, we're more than all of this, right So as a physician, being able to thrive in chaos, I think involves consciously working on creating the conversations around you, filling your spiritual life up with whatever it is and your mindset. And if, if you're exposed, and I know how that the medical community so diversified, what do you have to find your tribe Yes. You have to find your, your, your sweet spot with people. Because again, you're going to be the sum total of your average five. I used to have terrible friends and a terrible mindset. And so I, I changed the, began to direct. Now, you know, I'm proud to say I'm the sum, you know, the average of my fights. So

Dr. Shah-Haque

  23:25 - 24:03

No, thank you for that insight. Because one thing I noticed that yeah, we're taught where we're told to practice mindfulness, but I think what, what is lacking there is, you know, you're getting it right when you can respond instead of with anger with, oh, well, you know, that's not a big deal because, and then that also that insight of whoa, this is not normal, that I'm getting irritated at these small things. This is not me. I need to take a step back.

Randy Silkwood

  24:04 - 25:32

And that's what I love what you just said, because we often react with I'm angry. I'm stressed. I'm a lot of the times you're, you're, you're having angry thoughts or you're feeling angry, but you, your identity is not your anger, your identity, isn't rooted in your emotion. You're experiencing an emotion, right That's all that is. And not to dismiss the emotion, but you are more than that moment in you're more than that emotion. It's really coming to the place where you can understand and practice it correctly. be experimental with your, whatever, your mindset practices, your mindfulness practice be experimental because what's going to work for somebody may not work for you. Right. I think you're so frustrated because I just couldn't get meditation down. I couldn't write, I couldn't connect. I, my mind was here is there I'm checking my phone. That was not, it wasn't my jam, but, but my meditation is when I'm skateboarding, right. I cheat, I have on my Weimer in her hair and she'll pull me on my skateboard. So we skateboard around the lake and we just have a great time. It allows me to shut down. Right. Or when I'm up. and, and I'm riding on a horse. I can just phase out the world and just be in that moment. And so, whatever it looks like, be curious, because we're not all here to be contemplative monks in our mindful practices.

Dr. Shah-Haque

  25:33 - 26:12

Right No, and I really appreciate your time and just your insight, because I think it's so important that we have a non-physician on here saying, yeah, this is, this is exactly, you know, this is an insight because once you're what you've said about having something to outside of medicine, and it's not our identity mindfulness disconnecting, reconnecting with the self. Those that's a message that a lot of individuals that have been on before have said, so I really like, I really love how this ties it all together. Okay.

Randy Silkwood

  26:13 - 26:59

Well, no, it's my pleasure. And I think the last thing that I will say, is that this is the most important element in being a human being true to yourself, stepping into that personal power, defining it through, through healing exploration. It's not just mindfulness or prayer, but it's, it's the whole experience. It's the healing experience and the deeper and the deeper you go. And the moment that you really understand that you just stepped into personal power is when you can give away all the love in the world, expecting nothing in return. And the biggest hallmark that I want to share with everybody that's listening is coming to that place where understanding that everybody wants to be seen, everybody wants to be heard and they need to know what they're doing, makes the difference.

Dr. Shah-Haque

  27:01 - 27:09

Well, thank you so much, Randy. And can you tell our listeners where they can find out more about you or connect with you

Randy Silkwood

  27:09 - 27:28

Absolutely. You can connect with me on Randy silkwood.com or the reframed with Randy sub-let podcast is one that I do. it comes out every Sunday on apple podcasts, Spotify, Google podcasts, and assume it will be available on I heart radio. Very cool.

Dr. Shah-Haque

  27:29 - 27:44

Well, thank you very much. And thank you for joining us today. This concludes the podcast. Subscribe, tell a friend, follow us at www.theworthyphysician.com. Remember, you are worthy, you are human.  Take care.