The Worthy Physician

Empty Cups Don't Pour: Why Self-Compassion Matters

Dr. Sapna Shah-Haque MD

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After celebrating Mother's Day, we explore a concept everyone needs regardless of parental status: mothering yourself. Medical training conditions us to abandon our humanity bit by bit, wearing sacrifices like badges of honor while neglecting our own basic needs.

• The caregiver trap teaches us to neglect ourselves while caring for others
• Even the most brilliant physician cannot pour from an empty cup
• Self-care is not selfish but essential for sustainable practice
• Mothering yourself means saying no without apology when something doesn't align with your values
• Rest and restoration are forms of preservation in a system designed to ignore our limits
• When we properly care for ourselves, we reclaim our power and model humanity for others
• Challenge 1: Identify what you truly need this week to sustain yourself
• Challenge 2: Dare to dream again and reconnect with your authentic desires
• Start by asking what one thing would put a genuine smile on your face today

You are not just a physician. You are worthy of care as well.


Though I am a physician, this is not medical advice.  This is only a tool that physicians can use to get ideas on how to deal with burnout and/or know they are not alone.  If you are in need of medical assistance talk to your physician.


Learn more about female physicians' journey through burnout to thriving!
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Battle of the Boxes

21 Day Self Focus Journal

Welcome and Mother's Day Reflections

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Welcome to another episode of the Worthy Physician . I'm your host , dr Sapna Shah-Hawk , reigniting your humanity and passion for medicine . Today , we're going to talk about something deeply personal and often overlooked , especially when we have just celebrated Mother's Day . So happy , belated Mother's Day this past Sunday to all those awesome mothers , mother-like figures , that are in our lives , we are in the lives of others , and who have shaped us good , the bad , the ugly , the sad into who we are today . Now , before you check out because you're not a mom or maybe you have a complicated relationship with this day , hang in there with me .

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This episode is not just about being a mother . It's about mothering yourself . So let's talk about reclaiming the nature that this system so often drains out of us . What system ? The medical system . We're asked to give all our energy , time , and those are two finite

The Caregiver Trap in Medicine

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resources . Let's talk about the caregiver trap . You don't have to be a parent to understand the trap that many of us , particularly female physicians , fall into . We're trained to care for others . We're rewarded for neglecting ourselves , for seeing how long we can go without sleep , for not taking too many vacation days , for not eating , having to hold our bodily functions and neglect them for hours upon hours . We wear sacrifices like a badge . Oh , you've been up for 24 hours , I've been up for 30 , and I'm gonna go take a nap , maybe not , and I'm still going Somewhere along the way . We forget to tend to our own needs , our own grief , fatigue , joy and even our dreams , and I'll circle back to that part . Medicine doesn't just train us to be doctors . It trains us to abandon our humanity , bit by bit , in the name of professionalism , in the name of being a physician . But here is the hard truth . I think Even the most competent , brilliant physician cannot pour from an empty cup . What does that mean ? We all need sleep . We all need rest Mentally , emotionally , physically . Like Dr Dawkins said in her interview , sleep is neglected , but it is essential . It is so essential . I used to be one of those that would say I will sleep when I'm dead , and I think it was just a coping mechanism to get through long hours . But the truth is now I prioritize sleep , even with small kids .

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Mothering yourself means acknowledging that your needs matter

Mothering Yourself: Needs and Boundaries

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as well . You need to take care of you , and taking care of you is not selfish . I was listening to a podcast recently on , I guess , a video cast on YouTube . Catholic in Nature , but one of the points that I really appreciate that it made was that we're supposed to love our neighbor . We're supposed to take care of our neighbors , right , we're supposed to take care of others , in essence , but we also need to love ourselves and take care of ourselves before we can do that with others . So , challenge number one of the week how are you going to prioritize your needs this week ? And before you say , oh , I'm going to do , I'm going to get more sleep or I'm going to spend 30 minutes on a hobby , sit down for five minutes and really think about okay , in the middle of the week , what do I need ? What do I need in this moment to get through the next hour , to get through the next day , to get through the next two days .

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What does mothering yourself really look like ? It means saying no without apology when something does not feel right or when it does not align with your true value , your core self , your authentic self , your core values . Remember saying no to something is saying yes to something else . It means feeding ourselves , literally and emotionally . How about speaking kindly to the inner voice that says you're not enough ? My counter response would be I am enough . I truly believe that , and let's squash those negative thoughts . Are those negative thoughts coming from internal or an external source ? And , quite frankly , I don't have time to deal with that today , so I'm going to move that aside . Visually , I see myself moving that aside like a bad tile , just tossing it to the side and saying we're not going there today .

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It means rest , it means restoration , and sometimes it means walking away from what depletes you to protect the parts of you that are still alive . It's not weakness , it's actually preservation in a system designed to ignore our limits . But why is it so hard but so necessary to do so ? Yeah , I have patience . I have kids , I have responsibilities . You might be thinking I can't stop . Yeah , I hear you , but how long is

Reclaiming Dreams and Authenticity

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that sustainable ? When we don't attend to our own needs , the system wins , gets our labor Numbers look good , but we lose our spirit , our energy and , at some point I would say , a piece of our soul . But when we attend to our own needs , when we mother ourselves , when we claim our agency , we reclaim our power . We reclaim that part of the soul that the system wants to suck out . We model something powerful , not just something for our patients , but also for our children . Remember they're watching and listening , even when they are not really watching and listening . We also set examples for colleagues , fellows , residents and medical students . We show that being a physician and being human are not exclusive , but in fact one and the same and can be balanced .

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Now one thing I will challenge the listeners to do is to go back to your childhood , maybe even young adulthood , maybe even 10 years ago . What were your dreams ? What were your dreams ? What did you want to be ? What did you want to do ? Is there a part of you that still wants to do that ? For example , a part of me wanted to study psychology , philosophy , to write , and I'm still practicing as an internist . But I've also carved out , and it has taken time and structure , but I have been able to carve out time for creative writing , for this podcast , for rest , for time with the kids , for work , for my patients , when taking care of yourself .

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My second challenge to the listeners would be dare to dream . Dare to dream again would be dare to dream . Dare to dream again . At what point in time in our lives did we lose our imagination or our ability to dream ? Try to find that again . If nothing else , start with what is one thing that would put a smile on my face truly today , because it is authentically me . That's maybe one step closer or in the right direction of learning how to dream again , embracing creativity and embracing playfulness . So two things this week Mother yourself , wrap yourself in a warm , fuzzy robe of self-compassion , and let's start by doing that with . What do I need today , in this moment , and what is one way I can truly put a smile on my face Because I'm meeting a need that is authentically me and dare to start dreaming again .

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So , in this week after Mother's Day , whether you're still celebrating , grieving , parenting or working , simply try to make it through the day .

Weekly Challenges and Conclusion

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And what would it look like to mother myself this week ? Whatever it is , choose it . You deserve to hold that space for yourself . You deserve to feel human . You are not just a physician . You are worthy of care as well . Thanks for tuning in to another episode from the Worthy Physician Podcast . If you enjoyed this episode , be sure to subscribe , leave a review and share it with someone who'd love it too . Don't forget to follow us on YouTube , linkedin , instagram for more updates and insights . Until next time , keep inspiring , learning , growing and living your best life .