Episode 149: Joy As A Daily Practice with guest Darlene Berry

What if joy isn’t the finish line but the fuel? We sit down with life coach and former crisis therapist Darlene Berry to reframe joy as a daily, practical practice that can live alongside pain without pretending everything is fine. Drawing from frontline experience, Darlene explains why suffering looks different for everyone and how gratitude becomes the bridge from “I’m hurting” to “I’m healing.” The heart of our conversation is simple and doable: slow breathwork to regulate the nervous system, short affirmations to anchor the day, and a three-line journal that captures one personal gratitude, one future-facing intention, and one small present joy.

We dig into how choosing joy reshapes relationships and work. If you’ve learned to overgive to feel worthy, this is your permission slip to set kinder boundaries and say no with clarity. Darlene connects the dots between positive emotion and measurable outcomes—better focus, higher engagement, and fewer sick days—without slipping into toxic positivity. Instead, we talk about grounded, felt joy that helps you navigate tough seasons with steadier hands and clearer choices. You’ll hear real language you can borrow, small rituals you can start today, and a mindset shift that makes room for both grief and gratitude.

You’ll also get a free guided meditation from Darlene to support your morning or evening routine, plus practical tips pulled from her article, “Unlocking Joy Through Coaching: Exploring Joy’s Connections to Suffering and Gratitude.” Whether you’re a coach or a curious listener, you’ll walk away with tools that are gentle, repeatable, and effective. If this conversation resonates, subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a quick review to help others find the show. What’s one small joy you’ll practice today?

Watch the full interview by clicking here. 

Find the full article here.

Free meditation guide from Darlene can be found here. 

Grab your free issue of choice Magazine here - https://choice-online.com/

Transcript

Welcome And Episode Setup

Garry Schleifer 0:07

Welcome to Beyond the Page, the official podcast of choice, the magazine of professional coaching, where we bring you amazing insights and in-depth features you just won't find anywhere else. I'm your host, Garry Schleifer, and I'm excited to expand your learning as we dive into the latest articles, have a chat with this brilliant author, and uncover the learnings that are transforming the coaching world. When you get a chance, join our vibrant community of coaching professionals as we explore groundbreaking ideas, share expert tips and techniques, and what we all want to do, make a real difference in our clients' lives. This is your go-to resource for all things coaching, but for now, let's dive into today's episode. I'm speaking with Life Coach Darlene Barry, who's the author of an article in our latest issue, Coaching to Unlock Joy. The article is entitled Unlocking Joy Through Coaching: Exploring Joy's Connections to Suffering and Gratitude. A bit about Darlene. She's the founder of Elevate Your Path Life Coaching, a business born from her personal journey of healing and growth. To her, Elevate Your Path means rising above limitations and walking with clarity, confidence, and purpose. She supports individuals ready to shift their mindset, break through fear, and reconnect with who they truly are. Her coaching style is intuitive, compassion, and action-focused, creating a safe space where people feel seen, supported, and inspired to move forward. It's not just about goals, it's about transformation, inner peace, and living a life that feels deeply aligned. Wow. Thank you so much for joining us today, Darlene.

Darlene Berry 1:55

Thank you for having me, everyone. Hello.

Defining Suffering And Its Many Forms

Garry Schleifer 2:00

And I have to ask, you alluded to this being a bit of your own history. So what inspired you to write this article and what's behind that thought?

Darlene Berry 2:11

Well, I guess when I first saw your choice magazine, and then I was looking at it, and I saw you guys said, okay, hey, you know, who wants to write the article? And then you guys gave a list of different articles. And for some reason, this topic resonated with me because joy is essential to your life. My past life, you know, I was in the medical field for many years and I was a crisis therapist. So I saw a lot of people, you know, having to give them 10 reasons why they should live. And I always felt like you have a choice. And in one of those, you know, you can still have joy even in the middle of a crisis. So it made me feel like, you know, okay, you know, I can write about this joy. You know, you can have joy, but you can still have suffering, you can have pain, but you can still find joy. It is a choice to have. So that's what brought me to write about this article.

Garry Schleifer 3:12

Oh, wow. Well, thank you for doing that. And I have to ask, what do you mean by suffering and gratitude?

Darlene Berry 3:22

Well, what I mean by that is again, like I said, we all have different phases in our life where we might feel like we have reached our lowest point. And we feel like we might be the only ones going through that, you know, feeling suffering, be it mental, physical, emotional. A lot of times, you know, we could be, you know, by ourselves or we could even be with someone and still feel suffering, and in suffering, there is some pain in suffering. So that's what I mean by suffering and pain.

Joy, Gratitude, And Hope After Pain

Garry Schleifer 4:01

So I had to ask myself the question, I don't feel that I have had suffering. Like I guess I think too dramatically, like life-threatening injuries, passing of a parent at young age and things like that. Like, what kind of suffering are we talking about? And what's the connection to joy?

Darlene Berry 4:29

Well, the connection to joy is that this too shall pass. So it gives you hope, it gives you something to look forward to after you have felt that pain and after you felt that suffering, you know, because when we look back on our life, what we may have suffered through is no longer there. We have made it through. So then there is joy, there is something to have to give gratitude to once the suffering has passed, you know, and like you said, suffering, as you just said, is different for everybody. Some people, maybe if you're an only child and you lose your parents, that could be really traumatic to you, no matter what age, you could be even 30 years old and still feel like you're suffering and you can still feel pain. But then after some time past, you can feel joy because you might have had every Christmas together, different things you could have had that you can reminisce about that could bring you joy.

Garry Schleifer 5:36

Yeah. Yeah. You know, and what I'm hearing is that the the the disparity between suffering and joy, right? Suffering and gratitude, the suffering moments lead you to see and be grateful for the joyful moments.

Darlene Berry 5:52

Yes.

Garry Schleifer 5:52

Am I reading that right?

Darlene Berry 5:54

Yes. Correct.

Practical Tools For Daily Joy

Garry Schleifer 5:55

Yeah. You spoke very, you have a nice sidebar in there, but I'm gonna ask you for those that haven't read the article, what practical tools can coaches give clients to build daily joy? And what's your favorite?

Darlene Berry 6:10

Actually, my favorite really is meditation because I do practice it myself. You know, in the wee hours at three, four in the morning, I am up and I'm just lying in my bed and I'm just doing my breath work. Like I said, four breaths in, six breaths hold it, out, you know, just meditating, saying a quick affirmation. So that one really is my favorite. They can also journal and you can just say, okay, write down three things, you know, just small things, something small, one personal, one for the future, and just something that you can think about. And so that's some of the ones that they can do. You can just in the morning time be grateful, gratitude that you woke up, you're able to drink your tea in the morning, you're able to drink your coffee in the morning, you know, go outside, walk barefooted in the grass. You know, there are just many things that you can do.

Garry Schleifer 7:16

Darlene, could you give me an example if you were to write a journal about personal future and the other, give me an example of wha t one might write.

Darlene Berry 7:27

For me, I think I would write about again, it would have to be gratitude. Because, you know, again coming from being a crisis therapist, I've seen many, many things in my life. And I'm happy to be able to say that some of the things that I've seen, I'm happy that, like you just said, has not crossed my path. So I'm happy for that, you know. I don't have my parents, but I came from a family of nine. So I still have siblings around me that I am grateful for.

Journaling By Feeling Not Perfection

Garry Schleifer 8:04

Oh, and their children and your children, et cetera, et cetera. Yeah. And then the thing about the future, right? What do you what how do you write a gratitude or about the future as an affirmation or a wish, a hope?

Darlene Berry 8:20

Yeah, it really is affirmation. You know, I mean, it is an affirmation because I wake up and I say, you know, thank you for this day, you know. Sometimes, you know, when I'm on my way to work, I even say, okay, let this be a good day and let everybody, you know, be the clients, act right, you know. Sometimes I do that to bring that into alignment. So it's really a simple process.

Garry Schleifer 8:46

Yeah.

Darlene Berry 8:46

That I do.

Garry Schleifer 8:47

That's great. Oh, well, thank you. Thanks for the examples. Because I'll be honest, I'm not a great journaler. And I've got those nice pens and the fresh piece of paper, and you know, and there's a part of me, I guess, that wants to get it right, and there is no right, I'm sure.

Darlene Berry 9:04

No, there is no right. It's not even something that you think about, it's something that you feel, and then once you feel it, then your hand will just automatically start writing what you feel, and then once you have filled it, your hand will automatically stop writing. So that's how I view it.

Garry Schleifer 9:23

Wow, what oh, great, thank you very much for that guidance. I never even thought about it that way. That explains when sometimes when you're doing some work and training or whatever, and they say, Here, just write, just keep writing, you know, therapy, they ask you to do that kind of thing, just write, and until you don't write anymore, and then it's and it could be gibberish, right? But it's the exercise of doing it. Oh, that's right, that's awesome. Thank you for that guidance. How does unlocking joy influence a client's relationships and life decisions?

Darlene Berry 9:58

Well, the way that happens is that a lot of times, you know, we feel like we have to always do something for someone else. And then we feel like if we do something for ourselves, it's selfish. So we have to get out of that mode of always feeling like we have to do something for someone else to feel worth. So we have to get in the habit of helping ourselves, you know, and it's okay sometime to say no. So that I feel like is what I can help the clients deal with.

Joy’s Impact On Choices And Work

Garry Schleifer 10:33

One of the other things I found out is that there's now scientific proof that joy causes results. There's studies that productivity is increased and engagement is increased, and less absenteeism and things like that as a result of that. I want to quote you in your article too. You say this really, I love this part. Joy is not reserved for those with perfect lives. It is a powerful inner resource available to anyone, especially to those who have suffered, who practice gratitude, and who are willing to grow.

Darlene Berry 11:20

Yes, it is true, you know, because again, like I said, bringing back to everybody has their own individual in their life, what they feel they may have suffered through or gone through. And in the end, we all can look back at it, like I said, and find some type of a joy in it for ourselves, for sure.

Garry Schleifer 11:42

I love it. I also I just love quoting you. These things just resonated so much with me. Your final line through coaching, support, and intentional practice, you can help your clients unlock a life that radiates joy from the inside out.

Coaching To Cultivate Inner Joy

Darlene Berry 12:01

Yes, that is true. Yeah, because again, it has to do feeling, you know, emotions. It starts from there. We don't always want to be in our heads all the time because most of our day, more than eight hours, we're in our head, and we hardly go into feeling, you know. And once we trust our feelings, then I feel like it opens us up to being more ourselves, you know, and I would say loving ourselves and giving back to ourselves. The more open we are for ourselves, I feel like that makes it better as a start.

Garry Schleifer 12:43

Yeah. Well, isn't joy a great place to be from, right? And a great state to be from or great state to be with.

Darlene Berry 12:55

Yes. A great state to be within.

Garry Schleifer 12:58

Within, thank you. Even better said, even better said. Oh, Darlene, thank you so much. What would you like our audience to do as a result of the article in this conversation?

Meditation Resource And How To Reach Darlene

Darlene Berry 13:10

Well, I think I did download the little meditation for, I gave it to Nancy. Hopefully people are able to download it. Yeah, and just feel the meditation. You can do that meditation in the morning, you can do it in the evening, you know, you can do it whenever you want to do it. But I just thought I'd add that.

Garry Schleifer 13:35

Oh, awesome! Thank you very much for your generosity on that. And a reminder that in the article, Darlene has put practical tips to unlocking joy, and some of the things that we talked about here are listed on that sidebar. So if you haven't read it, it gives you a reason to read it. Get the latest issue of choice. Darlene, how what's the best way for people to reach you if they want to know more?

Darlene Berry 14:01

Well, if they want to know more, I'm in the middle of reconstructing my life coaching, elevate mypath.com. So give me to the new year, and I will have it back up and running, and they can reach out and email me anytime they want to.

Garry Schleifer 14:20

Thank you. Again, thank you so much for writing for us and also for being here to be interviewed. We really appreciate it.

Closing And Subscription Info

Darlene Berry 14:27

Thank you for having me, Gary, and nice meeting everyone.

Garry Schleifer 14:31

That's it for this episode of Beyond the Page. For more episodes, subscribe via your favorite podcast app, most likely the one that got you here. If you're not a subscriber to choice Magazine and you're watching this video, you can sign up for your free digital issue by scanning the QR code in the top right hand corner of my screen. If you're in listen only mode and driving safely, when you get a chance, go to choice-online.com and click the sign up now button. I'm Garry Schleifer. Enjoy the journey of mastery.