Reinventing Without Reverting

🐦‍🔥 Welcome back to another Mz O  In The Mix.

join us as we look at the reinvention of ourselves without reverting to our former selves or behaviors.

Here are a few key factors we look at as we travel down this road of reinvention.

• Putting yourself first
• Speaking life into yourself
• Learning to love on you
• Giving yourself unconditional love
• Self disappointment 
• Knuck if you buck 🤣

To engage with me on this episode or any other episode please head over to my instagram, I’ll be waiting. You may also contact me at mzointhemix@gmail.com

Social media:

IG @mz_originator.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:52

We go through these catastrophic events in life where they present these huge towers that bring horrendous obstacles into the forefront of our view and blocks out any and everything else that we have going on in life. And guess what? We turn around and we say we are going to reinvent ourselves, but within that same breath, we also say, I'm gonna bring back the person I used to be. News flash. If you have ever said this, note that you are not reinventing yourself. You just bringing back the old hot ass trash that you used to be, that was either broken, scorned, I mean discombobulated in every relationship, whether it's friendship, whether it's a family relationship, whether it's you know, an intimate relationship, it doesn't matter. If you're reverting back to something or someone you used to be, understand you're losing whatever growth you've obtained throughout the time when you changed from that person up into now. So let's talk about reinvention and what that really looks like because this is a process that I have been going through, fighting with for many, many moons. We all do it. You know, you lose a job, you break up with someone, you know, just you become homeless, you lose your house, you you become a dependent of your parents again if you were an adult and had that opportunity to go back. You know, it's so many small yet big things we face that change us and make us feel like we need to reinvent ourselves. And most of the time we don't do it quite successfully. I know I haven't in the past because I had that same term of I'm gonna reinvent myself, but I'm gonna bring back the person I used to be. Well, not entirely, but parts of that person, and that's the bullshit that needs to stop. What's going on, people? If you're new here, I am Ms. Originator. Welcome to Ms. O in the mix. I appreciate you for coming to check out um this season of growth, maturity, child, childishness. I don't know. I guess that's what I want to call it, but um, but just embarking on realism in life of how we are, um, and how things are perceived through our eyes, through growth, through regression, and just through self-realization. So, welcome. I do give homework if you don't know. I give them, they're called like snacks, little things for you to think about. I always encourage you to bring pen, a piece of paper, listen to the show again. Um, take notes. Note takers are money makers, baby. I don't care if you've never heard it, understand it. I did not invent it, but I've been living by it. So note takers are money makers. So get your notepad, listen to the show again, share it with a friend. Don't be stingy. It's enough of me to go around for motivation. Listen, if you are returning, you know the rules. First, I want to say, welcome back. You a real one. Pat yourself on the back, give yourself a kiss. Here's one from me. Listen, if you're driving, keep both hands on the wheel, one eye open. If you laugh, you better make sure one eye is open and on the road. Okay? If you got one eye, you should not be driving. And if I'm trying to tell you, if you have people around you and they don't like profanity, or if they're little ones and they're sensitive, or older ones insensitive, listen, put your earbud in or listen to me when you're alone and you're cleaning your home. Whatever you have to do, just keep the space around you healthy, okay, but still get this dose of TLC. Let's jump back into it. And I hope you all are doing well. So reinvention without reverting is something that we all need to strive for. Even though these big events happen in our lives and they take a toll on us, and you remember, maybe remember at one point in your life you were cold-hearted or stern, and you know, you have barbed wire around your heart and an electric fence. Listen, I'm saying this because y'all know, if you know me, I am like that 110%, or I was like that 110%, maybe 150. I used to be very cold, didn't really let people in. Some people will say I still don't let people in now, and I let people in to a certain extent. Um, you know, I've been hurt like most people. My heart has been through a meat grinder. It has been taken out, patched back together, put back through a shredder than the meat grinder, taken out, handed to me, dropped on the floor, stepped on, spat on, all of it. You name it, it's happened. I got bubble gum, hot glue, tape, everything to put my heart back together. But one thing about me that most likely will never change, I don't want to say never, never, but most likely will never change, is my ability to give unconditional love to each and every individual, to those who have hurt me. I still love you as a person because you're breathing. Sometimes I don't want to spit on you even if you were on fire. I wouldn't want to. Like, but that's that's healing I still need to do. But I call those boundaries. Anywho, I just say I I give unconditional love, and I'll love someone without worrying about if they love me, because everybody deserves to be loved, you know, everybody deserves love, and it's not a lot of people in this world that give unconditional love. It's sad, but that's not everyone's makeup, and that's not everyone's purpose. I come up here to motivate you because that's a form of my unconditional love, regardless of how it comes out. Sometimes it could be very harsh, but that's just me. And if you rock with me, you understand that that's just me. Now, I'm gonna keep that part of me. No matter how much damage my heart has been through, unconditional love, support, and motivation is part of me, it is who I am to the core. Um, here I go. I'm starting to say um, y'all, to the core. And um, I find that it can have its bittersweet moments. I look at myself, you know, and I say, why do I do this? Why do I give everyone else unconditional love, but I don't give it to myself? Mmm, mmm, did you hear that? I give everyone else unconditional love, but I don't give it to myself. Y'all, that's deep. I don't care what you say. If you didn't know, now you know. I do not give myself unconditional love. Until recently. Oh, yeah, I mean recently, recently. You know, with life changing so much, and I talked about those catastrophic events, you know, big things, job loss breakups, um, you know, people passing, just big things that change. Homelessness may arise. No, I'm not homeless, y'all. I feel like I am sometimes, but no, I'm not homeless. But these big things that arise in our lives that make us reflect on who we are as individuals and what we want out of life, you know, these are the things that make us stop and say, I need a new identity. It's not like you could go to the store and you know how we do on Halloween and look for a costel. I mean, it's not as simple as that, but yet it is. It's just that you pretty much have the same skin unless you're gonna go get plastic surgery. That's another whole left-field thought because most of us can't. But what most of us can do is evaluate our personality and who we are and what things worked for us and what things have not worked for us in the past, and not so much reverting to who we used to be, but understanding who we used to be, so we can alter that avatar of us and truly reinvent who we are. Maybe you don't like your clothes, maybe you don't like your version of procrastination, meaning you know you have things to do, but you just can't seem to get them done. So you think back to the past where you know, well, I tried X, Y, and Z, and this worked, but that didn't work. Or maybe you drag part of that into your new avatar without reverting back to the person you used to be. I hope you understand that. Grabbing, reaching back to grab parts of who we used to be, just small fragments, and incorporating them into the new avatar that we want to be, or that we are currently becoming those things are acceptable.

SPEAKER_01 12:03

You know, learning to put yourself first in a situation where you've always put everybody else in front of you.

SPEAKER_00 12:16

Maybe you were always the last to shop for yourself, you shop for everybody else, or you're always the last one to go to sleep at night. Maybe you go to sleep first tonight. Maybe you tuck yourself in first. You know, love on yourself, start putting yourself first, start seeing life in a new light caring for you, loving on you, developing a sense of self and understanding you is gonna be a big part of your reinvention. And understand, you're gonna reinvent yourself over and over and over and over and over again. And if you're gonna sit there and tell me, I don't need to reinvent myself, honey, you got a lot of work to do. Because change is the best part of life, and it's not about being phony, it's not about being fake, it's about understanding that if you're not growing and learning, you're not truly experiencing life, if you're not changing throughout the years and becoming better or striving to become better, and striving to become a new avatar for yourself, then you're not really living, you're just a puppet in life. You're not really picking and choosing what you want for you. You're gonna be stuck, you're gonna be stagnant, you're gonna be waiting on someone else to come in and save you. Ain't nobody coming to save you. No one is coming to save you, no one is coming to change you. You have to be willing to do it for yourself, and it's not easy because you're gonna lose people in the process. People are gonna be like, oh, you phony, oh you fake, you can wear masks, you we can't trust you, we can't believe you. These are you're gonna you're gonna get all of these things coming at you when you are at a pivotal point of your transformation and becoming your next best self. There are people who are going to stay beside you, there are gonna people there are gonna be people who run away from you, there are gonna be people who attack you, there are gonna be so many different things um that come for you, whether they're supportive or not supportive, and there are gonna be so many things that run away from you. Like when you decide this is the type of person I want to be. This is the stage I'm at in my life. Whether you're going from 20 to 30, 30 to 40, 40 to 50, you're going to change. And not just at those big numbers, you're gonna change in those middle increments, you're gonna change every year. You should be changing. You should be coming, you should be becoming a better version of yourself every step of the way. Every single step of the way. So putting yourself first is something that you need to learn to do, and with that is going to come a lot of backlash. Because you want to reinvent yourself, you don't want to revert to who you used to be, but you want to reinvent yourself, and learning to put yourself first is prime. It is the best way you can start to weed out individuals who no longer serve you. Because some will understand and others will mock you and others will shun you, and and you can get rid of them. So the next thing is start start speaking life into yourself. Positivity, you know, you know, just af like affirmations. You might not be big on affirmations, but it's just motivation for yourself. Start speaking those things into your life. Who am I? I am great, I am an excellent. I don't I don't like to say I'm excellent. Pause for a second, because listen to this. I love my friends, I really do. And one of my friends, I will not say her name, but we were having a conversation. I think she still might be mad at me, but I love her so much. Um, we were talking, and I was like, I don't see I I can't say that's excellent what you're doing. I can't call myself excellent. I don't believe that you're excellent or I'm excellent. I believe what you're doing is great, but I don't believe what you're doing is excellent. It's because in my mind, there's always room for improvement. And if I'm saying you are a plus plus plus, you're gonna be like, great, I'm good, where I'm at, what I'm doing. No, no, you're not, neither am I. But understand what what I wish not to say is not necessarily what you wish not to say. She agrees that certain things are excellent. She agrees that what she's doing is excellent. She agrees that what I've done and I do is excellent, and that's okay. That's her rating system, but it's not mine. It is not mine. So when I say speak life into yourself, speak life into yourself the way you need to speak life into yourself, not the way that I would speak life into myself. There's levels to it. People have different patterns for a reason. So the way I motivate myself and the way you motivate yourself, it should be totally different. We're two different individuals having two different experiences. And it doesn't make my way any better than your way or your way any better than my way, but it makes it my way for me. It's all for me. And you need to remember that when you're reinventing yourself, everything that you're creating is all for you. It's not for Tom, Dick, Harry, Laura, Bobby, Cindy, Shakita. It's not for everybody. Okay? It is not for them. It is for you. And the moment you understand that is the moment you'll realize this is a very lonely road. Suck it up and move forward. I'll give you five minutes to cry and waddle in the misery, but you gotta get up and you gotta keep moving, and you've got to do this reinvention, and it's gonna hurt because you're gonna lose people along the way. But those people, look, their time is up. You can't take everybody with you, and that's another part. Cutting people off. You know, we talk about that a lot. I talked about that a lot, I think, um, a couple years back. I try to hit on it every year. Cut people off. I know it's easier said than done, but I mean it. Cut the dead weight off. You don't have to be nasty about it, you don't have to be mean about it, but you have to learn that when you start keeping people in your life that no longer they're no longer supposed to be there, it blocks your blessings. It blocks the things that you need to come into your life. If they're not adding value to your life, why are they there? If you're not adding value to their life, why are you remaining there blocking the people, blocking their blessings and yours? They're taking up time and space. And it sounds very selfish. I know. It sounds harsh. Ms. Oh, why are you so harsh? Because I'm the main character in my I was about to curse. I was about to sound I'm a curse. I'm the main character in my motherfucking story. How about that? You the main character in yours. When you gonna move with main character energy?

unknown 21:11

Hmm?

SPEAKER_00 21:12

Tell me, when are you gonna get up on your two feet and realize that the pain you feel under your big toe, nobody else can feel but you? So it's time to pick your foot up and look to see what the hell the pain is. It might be that best friend, it might be the ex-best friend, it might be the spouse, it might be the pain in the ass child, it could be a number of things. How will you move? It could be the friend that you've known since you grew up in a project or and and they don't want to do shit for themselves. It could be the friend that I don't know, that just always is passive aggressive. And you need to remove them. You don't need to make a big announcement about it to make a big ordeal. You don't need to start a fight, you don't need to start an argument, you just have to learn to move different. Where your time is not going to be consumed by them and their tactics that weigh you down. Reinvent yourself causes you to look at all these things piece by piece, dissect your life before the shit falls apart and shambles. You can't take everybody with you where you're going. Because if you try, guess what's gonna happen? Your ass ain't going. You have a higher power to answer to. You have your higher self waiting for you at the finish line. Yes, we gotta keep our kids. We love them. They little versions of us, the little nightmares. We love them dearly. But some people won't be able to leave your life. But others, they can. Or you can see less of them to help you to start to grow. And maybe they'll grow too. They'll grow so much, they'll go away, or they'll grow so much that they'll say, I want to join your main character energy. Show me how do I get my main character energy to be as bright, to shine, to not be so stagnant. Then you become a mentor of reinvention.

SPEAKER_01 23:44

Take time out to develop who you are. Learn to love on you.

SPEAKER_00 23:53

And knuck if you buck. Yes. Knuck if you buck. You know, let me tell you something. Sometimes you gotta fight yourself. You gotta fight yourself because you wanna know something. You're gonna make the same mistakes. You're gonna sometimes bring back the same energy because you're gonna feel like I'm just being too mean. I'm just I'm just not being nice enough. Man, fuck being nice. You don't have to be nice, you can be kind. I don't know where I heard that from before, but uh credit goes out to that person. And if you know, hit me up on Instagram at Mz underscore originator on Instagram and let me know. Find this post, first of all. It's called reinvention without reverting. And let me know who said that.

SPEAKER_01 24:53

But come on, let's finish that.

SPEAKER_00 24:59

Give yourself some unconditional love. And that unconditional love is gonna come with some knuck of you buck. It's gonna come with some for some of y'all out there. Look, you won't have to fight yourself. That's what I was saying. Knuck of you but you have to fight yourself, you're gonna have to fight your demons, you're gonna have to fight your procrastination demon, your um self-sabotaging demon. You're gonna have to fight them, you're gonna have to go to war with yourself because you have to get to the root cause of what the heck is going on with you that is keeping you in this stuck place, or that is bringing you back to this place where you feel crippling emotions, you're crippling emotions. It's not easy, but you have to do it. You have to fight through the muck in order to figure out what the hell is really going on. And some of us, yeah, we need to go to therapy because we got multiple personalities floating around up there. Everybody got something to say, everybody wanna be something different on a Tuesday. Like we have to we have to seek professional help, seriously. We have to seek professional help when it's time, when we know we just we don't have it in us to continue on down this avatar path, or we just can't clearly see where we need to go. Sometimes we don't know what questions to ask ourselves in order to pull ourselves out of this dread, this dread. I mean, it's just plain and simple. Sometimes we don't know the questions to ask, and don't let somebody tell you that you don't need to go to therapy. Everybody needs to talk to somebody, even a therapist needs a therapist, but it's just learning to communicate. It doesn't make you any less of a person, it makes you smarter than me. At least you get it off your chest, at least you have someone you that is biased, that can you know you can bounce information off of you, kind of dig deep to figure out what's the issue, what's the get to the root cause so you can do a true reinvention. Maybe you'll have less reinventions.

SPEAKER_01 28:10

Those are the things to think about and understanding that you are going to disappoint yourself. And when you disappoint yourself, how do you fix that? Make a realistic avatar.

SPEAKER_00 28:32

Make a realistic avatar for who you are or who you're going to be transforming into in the next six months. If you want to be the new real estate agent, well then damn it, start the steps. But don't disappoint yourself and be like, I'm gonna be an astronaut. Come on now. Don't think you're gonna be an astronaut. You don't know the first thing about them. You didn't go to school for it.

SPEAKER_01 29:03

You have no interest in going to school to become an astronaut.

SPEAKER_00 29:10

Let's let's just not let's be realistic. You wanna be a baker? Maybe you go and you start baking some stuff in your own kitchen, in your own house.

SPEAKER_01 29:24

Start with the simple things.

SPEAKER_00 29:30

The things that you can see a change in. Maybe you want to lose weight. I've been on, we're gonna talk about this and then I'm gonna go. Cause it's late. I'm recording is late. It's 1111, baby. Mm-hmm. Listen, I've been trying to get into this gym. It has been a thorn in my side. Being consistent. You you know, if you listen to this podcast, you know good well. I haven't been consistent in a long time. It's because life has thrown me, forget lemons, they was throwing me boulders. I I'm ducking and dodging. I'm I'm trying to tell you, it's been terrible. But it's also been terrible, but good at the same time. Because if I didn't go through anything, I couldn't come back and give y'all any information. I couldn't come back and say, Well, this is what I've been doing, this is what I figured out, this is what I'm trying now. Giving you some inspiration to try to alter some things in your life that may not be going well for you. But anyway, back to this gym situation. So I've been trying to go back to the gym because I don't like this size I am. I'm I know you're not supposed to worry about the the weight on the scales, how your clothes fit, how you feel, whatever, whatever. I know all of that. But every time I would try to get back into the gym, something in my life just get in the way and fall apart. And then I'd be tired and exhausted, and I can't do it. So what did I do? I reinvented that part of my life. I said, you know what? I'm giving myself this day. I know that I'm done with all of you know most of the stuff for my parents. Since they're going now, may they rest in peace. And I said, this is what I'm doing for myself. Let me tell you how sore my ass is. Listen, I went to this body pump class. Oh, I was like, oh, I don't know if y'all remember Fred Sanford from Sanford and Son. He's like, Elizabeth, I'm coming. That's the way I feel. Everything in my body hurt right now. I'm like, my heart, my heart, my poor heart don't know what's going on. But the point is, I I've built up in my mind that this is what I'm doing. And no excuses. No more excuses. So I've done book, I think it's four classes for this week. I went to one. I ain't go to one today. I went and got my nails done. They was looking tacky, and I got a birthday party here on Saturday. Anywho, so I went and I treated myself today. But guess where I'm gonna be? Back in that damn gym tomorrow. Because it's part of my reinvention. And when you have something that you're trying to achieve, you have to stick to it and you have to like go at it with vengeance. You know, tackle it because this is part of your new lifestyle. This is part of now. Hold on. I'm saying new lifestyle, it's not technically new because that went back. I went and reached back to that part of me that loved the gym, that loves, I love that feeling of getting my butt kicked and being mad and being angry and not liking the person in front of me, whether it's a personal trainer or whoever's teaching the class, just angry. But then when I'm done, I'm like, oh, that was the best class ever, or this was a great workout, knowing that when I wake up in the morning, I ain't gonna be able to move. But it's a good pain, it's growth, you know, pushing your muscles to the limit where they burn and you shaking and you feel like I'm all to collapse on the floor. And you're not hurting yourself, because if you're hurting yourself, you're doing something wrong. Like if you're really in pain, nah. It's supposed to be a good hurt. It's supposed to be that that hurt, like you just want to let out a big scream and your muscles is on fire. And some of you probably listening to this, like, this girl is crazy. I'm a little bit crazy, but if you get in the gym or you working out, and that's something you really like to do, you know exactly what I'm talking about. It's that burn, it's that muscle exhaustion, it's it's a it's a craving that you have. You know it hurt. You really don't want it, but you want it. You know, it's it's it's really difficult to un to explain. It's like eating your favorite ice cream. Hold on, I like that. Listen, it's like eating your favorite ice cream, and you know you're gonna get brain freeze, but you know that once that calm down, on your tongue, your taste buds is having a peace, like it's having a freaking party, and it feels good and the dopamine's running. That's what the gym is like for me, for me, for me. Okay, so I complain about it, I'm in it, I'm angry, but when I leave, oh, it's like the best feeling ever. But everything would get in the way of that for the last I don't know, couple years. I'll go and stop and go and stop. I'm not stopping no more. It's in I got the gym now, a part of my life like brushing my teeth and changing my drawers. That's what I or my patentees. Like that's that's the life. You have to make it and cement it into your life when you're building a new avatar. When you're building your new avatar, that's what you gotta do. Alright, guys, listen, I've been up here long enough. If you like the show, make sure you subscribe. Come back again, listen to some of the old shows because I don't know exactly what I'm gonna do with them. They might not be available much longer. Um, you may have to get them. I don't know. I might put them out as a special. Not really sure what's gonna happen with them. So go back, download them, listen to them, share them with a friend. Listen, I'll be back with some more information. But I'm gonna sign off like I do for my tarot readings. I'm gonna tell you this if no one told you that they love you today. Understand that I love you, and it's true and it's genuine. It's because I come up here and I give you parts of my life that are private. Some of my friends don't even know certain parts of my life. Y'all do. Y'all know more. You almost like your family. So I appreciate you. And I hope you appreciate Ms. O in the mix. It's not easy coming up here sharing things, um, and sharing experiences. Um, it's just not easy. But it is something that I like to do because I think this is what I'm here for. It's for the soul that's sitting out there that feels alone and they just can't talk to family and they don't have friends. Because there's some people in this world that don't have family, and there's some people that don't have friends. But you can always find a friend in me. If you want to reach out to me, go over to Mz underscore originator on Instagram. You can also reach me at M Z O I N T H E M I X at Gmail.com. Mizo and the mix at gmail.com, and we can connect there. Listen, guys, I love you. Go reinvent yourself without reverting. And I'll talk to you next episode. Later.