853. The See-Saw Effect.

In Episode 853, "The See-Saw Effect," I dive into the myths of work-life balance inspired by Ari Rastegar's book The Gift of Failure.

Discover the transformative approach to daily life by segmenting your day into sessions and focusing 100% on the task at hand. 

Join me as we explore how prioritizing moments can lead to a more fulfilled, effective lifestyle, leaving behind the chase for elusive balance.

Transcript

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All right. 3, 2, 1. Let's get it. Welcome to another edition of what's your problem? The podcast. I'm your host Marsh Buice and today, man, I absolutely love. Random reading there are times that I read a book cover to cover, but the random reading is something that I do. Every morning or try to do for the most part, probably 90% of the time. Sometimes I get locked into a book. But the random reading part is where I just pick a book off the shelf and I read 15 minutes. So I like this morning. I was reading, uh, Ari. Rastagar his book, the gift of failure. And I've read the book cover to cover, but you know, you read books and then you come back to them years later. And you don't even remember the section that you're reading. That's what I love about the random reading part is because there's just stuff, man. You got away from, or maybe. You were at a time where maybe, because this was chapter eight. I was just trying to power through the book. And don't even re I, truthfully don't even remember it. And I think I've read the book twice. So, this is why you should go back and read some of your old books, but you don't have to read them cover to cover. Just go to a certain section, something I like to go to the table of contents. I find a chapter that resonates with where I'm at, you know, cause we're in seasons in life. And I'll read that one chapter and sometimes I can apply it right then and there. And sometimes it just, it has a residual effect, you know? And so it just kind of. It's like residue just kind of lays on my soul and, and I've had situations like that. I was like, oh, okay. I read it, but nothing really triggered. And then dude, like, Days later. Something crosses my path. And because I read that days earlier is like, This is the time that I needed it. And so this is, what's a wonderful thing about that. What I like about the random reading, in addition to picking up things that you've just forgotten about along the way. Also this trains your focus, but they're just micro sessions about the focusing. So when your random reading you don't have to spend hours doing it. Look you're busy, but if, if you'll train yourself to just set your timer 10 to 15 minutes, And just read whatever you can get done. Sometimes you can get a chapter and a half read. Sometimes it's just a little bit, sometimes dude, I've gone to chapters and it kind of gets bogged down with the big context and stuff. But because I've read the book before. There are sections that I've already underlined. I kind of just go to that. And then I read on from there, or kind of read around that. So there's different ways that you can actually do it, but I would urge you to practice this art of random reading. So when I'm working out of this, week's. A book. The gift of failure. Specifically chapter eight, titled there is no such thing as work-life balance. This really resonated with me, man, because sometimes dude, I feel like I'm just, I'm fighting with balance. You ever said that. I mean, we all sit there and say, man, I wish my life was more balanced in every morning, man. I'm walking. I'm like, dude, how can I be more efficient? But I don't view life as balanced. I view it more so as mixture. And I've talked about that in previous episodes. There are seasons that you're going to go through in life where some seasons need more attention than others. Like when I started in sales, It was an oil and water season. oil and water doesn't mix. And so there was a separation during that time where really had to put a hundred percent of my focus in getting my sales career off the ground. It was all commission job, and I left a sure paying job as a supervisor at the casino. And got into this and, you know, I had to make it work. I had no stove. I had no refrigerator. I was living in a rent house half the time. I would hear. We make you laugh. I was past due on everything. My credit was shot. My even my light bill was pass due when I would leave for work in the mornings, I would leave the porch light on. So that way. When I came home at night and I would drive around the corner. If the porch light was on, I realized that they didn't shut off my lights. That was kind of the thing for me. But there are many times, man, where. Me and my oldest son, we. We slept in the dark. I didn't pay the light bill. And so that's where I was. So when I got into sales and getting this thing off the ground, that was a season for me. You're going to have those kind of seasons, but those seasons, they don't last forever. And so you, you apply what you have to, you put a lot of energy toward that, but you can't sustain that for long-term. You gotta be careful with that because there are times where I've just let my family slip while I was just chasing this quest for success. And ironically, I realized that it's not worth it. When I got demoted. When you're chasing success. A lot of times you say, oh, I'm doing this for us when really it's all about you. So it's total bullshit what you're saying. And so when I got demoted, I realized that, and I was like, dude, It's not worth that. But I've been guilty of that and just pushing, pushing, pushing. And while I believe life is a mixture of things. Ari takes it a step further. He suggests that You have to think of your day. In sessions. And I really like this, this whole analogy and the sessions. You know, my wife's got a gym and it's right next door to recording studio. And they have sessions. They don't stay there for days at a time. They go in there for a couple of hours. And they work as session. And so what if you chopped your day up into sessions. It means. That you're a hundred percent. Where you are in the moment at that time. And the image that Ari gives in this chapter. Is to look at it as a Seesaw. And you know, what a Seesaw is. One side is up. The other side is down. It's never perfectly balanced. The upside. Is where you're fully present in the moment, whatever it is that you're doing. So if you're at work, be a hundred percent at work, if you're with your family, be a hundred percent see saw is up. If you're working out, be a hundred percent there.'cause I think, it goes back to the analogy of he who chases two rabbits gets none. And I think a lot of times in our day. What leads to more frustration is because we're trying to multitask. We're trying to do a whole bunch of different things. And We're an inch deep in our impact in the day. And we're not getting anything fully accomplished. It's like we're, we're, we're putting out a couple of little fires here and there. But our focus is so. Diverted. That nothing's getting done. And you get frustrated at the end of the day, at the end of the week you like bro, I didn't get anything done. So the beauty about the Seesaw effect is. You look at it in sessions. You don't have to spend. All day on one project, but you do commit to a set amount of time. And you're going to find with the Seesaw effect that you can handle multiple task. By giving you your full attention during that time. And so when you're in the moment, You're going to be more impactful. This is how you're going to get more shit done. And you're going to prevent yourself from feeling spread too thin. This is what makes you frustrated? Because you're just like, oh my God, there's not enough time. There's plenty of time. Everybody's got the same amount of time. But if you look throughout your day as a session and you step into something, you're like, okay, how much time can I devote to this? Even if you have to sit like the random reading part that I'm talking about, you set your timer for 15 minutes. At the end of the 15 minutes, you'll walk away from it. It's like those bubble tests that used to take in grade school, when the teacher said, stop. Put your pencil down. That's what you did. And you walked away from it. This is the same sort of analogy here. Dude look, I'm guilty of being home and not present. There have been many times. Where, you know, I get my daughter for a week at a time and it that's precious. But I haven't always looked at it like that. There are times where she's had conversations with me and I'm in the middle of editing a podcast, or I'm in the middle of reading and writing. And she's talking to me. And I'm like, But I'm not giving her my full attention. I've done the same thing with my wife. And I realize in reading this dude, I don't want to be successful in alone. I want everybody. That I love to come along for the ride, but it's important. That they feel. And know that they're important to me. Hence the Seesaw effect. You're never going to be at inbox zero in your life. You're never going to get there. So with the Seesaw effect, whatever it is that you're doing. Whatever that the top part of the Seesaw. You be in the moment hundred percent. In the moment. And then you walk away from it. Your first priority in your see saw effect. Should be taken care of yourself. You come first, you gotta put yourself first because if you put yourself first. Everybody else gets the best representation of you. See if you're not prioritizing yourself. Everybody gets the sloppy leftovers. Everyone and everything suffers. The quality's not there. So, if you take care of you first, you wake up at a set time. You budget that time. To take care of you. And what I would challenge you. And the things that have worked well for me. Is writing at least one page every day. It's some random reading, 10 to 15 minutes. It's working out. It's sharing something. Everybody's a bad-ass, it's something everybody's an expert at something. Share something, man. What works for you? You don't have to preach to everybody. Just share with us something that works for you. If you're a mechanic, if you're a writer, if you're a cook. If you specialize in these 10 minute meals, man, share that, whatever it is and you'll feel better, man, because you're contributing to society. So doing these things, these are the lead dominoes, writing. It's unschooling your thoughts, reading, getting something new in there. If it's an unfamiliar subject, maybe you're kind of dabbling in AI. You can dabble in it. 10, 15 minutes. Just feed it. You may trigger some sort of spark and run with it from there. If not. Tomorrow's a new book. Cool. And then working out, man, bust a sweat every single day. This is going to work out some of that tension. You're going to start looking and feeling better. And you, if you've do this in the mornings, You've already won the day. No matter how hell is your day goes, you're good to go. So with the Seesaw effect, Uh, wake up at a set time. I write. A read. try to record. Uh, workout. Then I go to work. Dude, I'm there. 10, 12 hours. When I'm at work, I'm a hundred percent there at work. And then when I get off. If nobody's home, I may can squeeze in a little extra session. Of working out, making it a little bit of reading done. I make an edit the podcast. Cool. Seesaw. And then when my family comes home, I'm there for them. This is a practice. This isn't something a set it and forget it. It simplifies the life's not easy. But you can't simplify it with the Seesaw effect. It is something that I'm going to have to consciously do. Case in point the other night, I was watching the mayor Kingstown new season. So I'm watching that. And my wife comes in. She starts talking. And instantly, I love the image of it. I saw the Seesaw, a pause the movie because I've been guilty, man, of trying to watch this. Watch this movie and have a conversation. He who chases two rabbits gets none. So I'm sitting there trying to listen to both. And what do I end up doing? I'm not giving her my full attention. And I didn't catch what's in the movie. With the Seesaw effect, man. I stopped and we had a great conversation. And what's great about streaming TV. You can always come back to it. Hell, I'll watch it in the shower. I put my iPad on the shower door. And I can take shower and watch the movie at the same time. Uh, so what's good about it. And I can always come back to that. So it prioritizes things. My health. My wellness. My spiritual life, my family, my work. The podcast, all of these things. And that image of the Seesaw it's what's going to help. Keep you focused. On what's important. And when you're in the moment. You're consistent. You're clear, you're building up the momentum. And you're not pulled in a thousand different directions. You just silo it off. It's a session. Get it done. And then go to the next thing. So that way. It's being fully present. For the things that matter most. So that's what I'm working on this week to be more focused, to be more present. It's tough. But it's doable. And it's damn sure worth it. All right, let's get out of here. Thanks for sharing today's episode. Please share this with someone who needs it. This will help grow and power the show. Also, if you have not done so leave a rating and review. Let me know. And let others know what this episode or other episodes. Of what your problem. Have meant to you. All right. Let's get out of here. Keep it simple. Keep it moving. Never settle. Stay tough piece.