The Paradox of Power

Today’s episode — one I’ve personally wrestled with — is called The Paradox of Power.

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Transcript

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Welcome to Philosophy of Life. I'm Reza Sanjideh. Today's episode, one I've personally wrestled with, is called The Paradox of Power. It's about a strange kind of knowing when we understand something is bad for us and we do it anyway. Addiction. Impulse. Desire. They're not always blind. Sometimes they're deliberate. This is a story about the choices we make, even when we know they'll hurt. It's about chasing what only resembles happiness and the paradox of feeling powerful while slowly unraveling. As always, these podcasts are made for listeners like you. Your voice matters. If this episode speaks to you, please like, share, and reach out I'd love to hear from you. Now, let's begin our journey. We choose. Today we're diving into something deeply human, something we have all wrestled with at some point. Why do we do things we know aren't good for us? Why do we reach for the quick hit of pleasure, a late night scroll, a drink? a toxic relationship. Even when we know better, there's a word for this. It comes from ancient Greece, akrasia. It means acting against your better judgment. But it's not just about weakness. It's about chasing an illusion. Let's unpack this idea through a moment that hit me hard, a reflection called the illusion we choose. Picture this. Someone once told me, After slipping back into addiction, I know it's not good for me. I do it anyway. Not because I'm lost, but because I want to feel something. That stopped me in my tracks. Because it's not just about addiction. It's about all of us. That moment when you binge Netflix instead of tackling your work or stay in a relationship that controls you because it feels safer than being alone. These choices don't come from ignorance. Sometimes we know exactly what we're doing. We're chasing a flicker of light in the dark, something that feels like joy, until it doesn't. So what is akrasia really? Aristotle and Plato wrestled with this thousands of years ago. They called it a weakness of will. When emotion overpowers reason, you know you should hit the gym, but the couch feels so good. You know you should study, But your phone is right there, offering a quick dopamine hit. It's not that we are clueless. It's that we're human. We're drawn to what feels good in the moment. That's what makes the illusion so powerful. That drink that numbs. That habit that hurts. That scroll that swallows your time. These aren't just bad choices. They're escapes. And modern psychology backs this up. Our brains are wired for instant rewards. Ever heard of hyperbolic discounting? It's why we'll pick a cookie now over a healthier body later. These illusions, they mimic joy, but they're fleeting. And deep down, we know it. But here's where it gets interesting. Akrasia isn't just about failure. It's about what we're really seeking. That person battling addiction? They weren't just chasing a high. They were chasing a feeling. Maybe connection. Maybe relief. Maybe just a moment of being alive. And in today's world, we're surrounded by distractions that feed into this cycle. Social media, endless streaming, consumerism. They're all designed to keep us reaching for the next quick fix. And it's not laziness. It's a deeper hunger. a hunger for meaning. When we choose these illusions, we're not being foolish. We're trying to fill a void. So how do we break the cycle? First, recognize akrasia for what it is. Not a moral failing, but a human tendency. One trick, pre-commitment devices. Set a timer. Lock your phone in another room. Make the bad choice harder to access. Another strategy, reframe rewards. Instead of saying, ugh, I have to work, Try. I want to feel the pride of finishing. Break tasks into tiny steps. Write one sentence. Do one push-up. It adds up. And don't underestimate mindfulness. Sometimes, just noticing the urge without acting on it is enough to create space. Enough to choose differently. But here's the deeper fix. Address the void. If we're chasing illusion to feel something... What do we actually need? Maybe it's connection. Call a friend instead of liking their post. Maybe it's purpose. Journal. Reflect. Figure out what lights you up. Therapy. Self-compassion. Even small acts of courage. Like saying no to a habit that's harming you, all of it helps. The goal isn't perfection. It's progress. Choosing what aligns with who you want to become. not just what feels good for a second. Akrasia reminds us we're not robots. We're messy. We're emotional. We're beautifully flawed. The illusions we choose, whether it's a drink, a distraction, or a scroll, aren't the enemy. They're signals. They're trying to tell us something. So next time you catch yourself reaching for that quick fix, pause. Ask, what do I really need right now? What's the flicker of light I'm chasing? And is there a better way to find it? Part 2. Power or Surrender Are these choices a form of power? Us owning our freedom? Or are they, surrender, cleverly disguised as strength? And what does it mean to be truly free in the face of our own contradictions? This is where we move from akrasia, the act of knowing better yet doing the opposite, into something even deeper. It's not just about weakness. It's about what we're really chasing. Last time, we talked about illusions, the drink, the scroll, the toxic pattern. We said they weren't mistakes. They were trades. But now we ask, when we make those trades, Are we claiming power or giving it up? Jean-Paul Sartre, the French philosopher, once said, Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you. It sounds abstract, even cryptic at first, but it's actually quite grounded. He's saying you don't get to choose your trauma, your addiction, your upbringing, your wiring, but you do get to choose how you respond to it. That's your freedom, not the absence of pain, but the power to shape your life in response to it. But what if what's been done to you has left you broken? What if every time you try to choose, it feels like the past is still choosing for you? I remember someone once said, I don't use to escape. I used to feel like I am in charge, like no one else is steering my life but me. And that's the paradox, when we choose something harmful because it's ours to choose, even if it wrecks us, even if it destroys everything we care about. Because in that moment, it feels like power. It feels like rebellion. It feels like freedom. We'd rather go down driving than sit quietly in the passenger seat of someone else's life. But here's where Sartre challenges us. Freedom isn't just about doing whatever you want. It's about doing what aligns with your deeper self, with who you're becoming, even when it's hard, even when it hurts. Think about this. If you stay up gaming instead of preparing for a job interview, are you exercising freedom or are you surrendering to impulse and calling it power? That's the trick of akrasia. It can disguise itself as a strength, but more often it's us handing the reign to our impulses. So how do we tell the difference between true power and surrender masked as control? Sartre says, take responsibility, not just for what you do, but for who you're becoming through what you do. If you keep choosing the illusion, the comfort, the scroll, the fix, you're not just avoiding discomfort. You're shaping a version of yourself that fears growth. But when you say no to that illusion, when you set a boundary, break a pattern, or choose the hard truth over the easy high, you're building something different. You're reclaiming power, not in the loud, rebellious way, but in the quiet, resilient way that actually transforms you. It's not about perfection. You're going to slip. You're going to pick the easy thing sometimes. But each time you reflect, each time you choose again, you're reclaiming what Sartre meant by freedom. The power to take what life has done to you and build something meaningful with it. Part three, the resemblance of happiness. We've all felt it, that rush from a perfectly timed social media post, a night of binge watching, or a quick win like closing a deal. It feels good, like happiness. But then it fades, and suddenly we're chasing the next hit. There's a line that's been stuck in my head for days. We've gotten used to imitations, dopamine hits, Empty laughs, perfectly filtered moments. But they fade. It's like drinking salt water when you're thirsty. For a second, it feels like relief. But it only leaves you more parched. That's the trap of akrasia, false joy. It looks like happiness. It even feels like happiness. But it doesn't last. And that's what makes it so dangerous. Because it almost works. This becomes clearer when you look at how akrasia loops us back. We know the late night scroll won't fulfill us. We know that extra drink won't lift the weight we're carrying, but we still reach for them. These moments give us a hit, a spike of dopamine, but then the crash comes, and it leaves us emptier than before. Neuroscience backs this up. Those quick highs, likes on X, Sugar rushes, impulsive purchases light up the brain's reward system, but the relief is temporary. The emptiness that follows is real, and because it almost feels like joy, we go back again and again, even when it costs us our energy, our time, our health, even our dreams. So how do we tell the difference? How do we know what real happiness actually feels like? Here's a clue. Real happiness isn't a spike. It's not a surge. It's steadier, quieter, more complete. Think back. When was the last time you felt truly content, not just excited, but whole? Maybe it was a quiet moment with someone you love, or finishing a project you poured yourself into, or just sitting still, without the need to be anywhere else. That's not a high. That's peace. And unlike salt water, it nourishes. fills you instead of draining you. Psychologists like Martin Seligman call this deeper form of happiness eudaimonia, a Greek word that means flourishing. It's not about chasing pleasure. It's about living with purpose, with meaning, with connection. This links back to Sartre's idea of freedom from part two. Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you. If that's true, then real happiness comes from making choices that reflect who we want to be, not just what feels good in the moment. And that's what Akrasia tries to steal from us. It whispers, take the easy path, the fun one, the familiar one. But behind the ease is emptiness. So let's get practical. How do we break the cycle? How do we stop mistaking salt water for real water? First, get clear on your definition of happiness. Journal about a time you felt fulfilled. What were you doing? Who were you with? Why did it matter? That's your compass. Second, learn to recognize the traps, the quick fix, the toxic loop, the thing that almost works. Pause and ask, will this nourish me or leave me thirstier? Third, start building toward eudaimonia. slowly steadily that might mean practicing gratitude learning a new skill or doing one small thing each day that aligns with your deeper values and don't forget connection real joy often comes from relationships that lift us up not one that drain us let me be clear this isn't about rejecting pleasure a good laugh a fun night out they matter too but the danger is mistaking those moments for the whole picture, letting Akrasia trick us into settling for the copy when we were made for the real thing. The reflection says it best, false joy is dangerous because it almost works, but we weren't meant for almost, we were meant for enough, for meaning, for joy that lasts, and we deserve to stop settling. So far on this journey, we've explored the illusions we chase, and why we keep choosing them, even when we know better. In part one, we unpacked akrasia, acting against our better judgment, reaching for fleeting highs like a habit that hurts. In part two, we asked if those choices are power or surrender, with sattva reminding us that freedom is what we do with what's been done to us. In part three, we explored what real happiness feels like and how false joys are like salt water, leaving us thirstier. Now, we're digging into the why behind all of this. Why do we keep reaching for what hurts? Here's a raw truth I can't shake. Sometimes we don't choose harmful things because we're clueless. We choose them because we're desperate. When lives start slipping through your fingers, When your relationship feels hollow, when success feels empty, when you look in the mirror and barely recognize yourself, you start looking for something to anchor you, something intense, something immediate. That's why people drink. That's why they self-harm. That's why they return to the thing they swore they'd never touch again, not because they don't know better, but because for one fleeting second, it feels real. It's like a spark in the dark, a flash of something alive, even if it burns. Someone once told me, this isn't a mistake, it's a trade, short pleasure for long pain. And I keep making the same deal. That's a crazier at its raws, not just a lapse, a deliberate exchange. We trade long-term peace for a brief moment of intensity. We give up connection, stability, even dreams. Just to feel something. Some might call it self-destruction. But maybe it's something else. Maybe it's survival through fire. Because sometimes burning feels more alive than being numb. This desperation ties everything together. Back in part 3, we called false joy salt water. Something that mimics happiness, but leaves us parched. But this isn't just about chasing joy. It's about chasing life. When nothing else feels real, even pain becomes a kind of proof. That drink is not just numbing. It's a moment of defiance. That toxic relationship is not just familiar. It's a rollercoaster. Something that proves you're still here. Even endlessly scrolling eggs can feel like a lifeline. It's intense. It's immediate. It's something. But here's the cost. Every time we make that trade, we pay with pieces of ourselves. Short pleasure, long pain, missed opportunities, strained relationships, a growing distance between who we are and who we want to be. Sartre's idea of freedom from part two confronts us again. Freedom isn't just choosing what feels good. It's choosing what builds a life worth living. If we keep making the same deal, We're not just surviving. We're surrendering to a cycle that's burning us out. So, how do we redirect that desperation? How do we find anchors that don't destroy us? First, acknowledge the hunger. That craving for intensity isn't wrong. It's human. It's a sign that you're yearning for something real. But there are better ways to feel alive. Maybe it's creating something. A poem. A painting. A business. Maybe it's movement. Running until your lungs burn. Not to escape, but to feel your strength. Maybe it's connection. A real, messy, vulnerable conversation. Something that grounds you without the crash. Second, break the trade. When you're tempted to reach for that old anchor, pause. Ask, what am I really craving right now? If it's aliveness, What else can give you that without burning you down? Journaling helps. Track your patterns. Spot the trades you're making. Identify the triggers. Third, build new anchors. Small, meaningful habits. Daily gratitude. Learning a new skill. Volunteering. These don't spike and crash. They root you. They build you. And don't go it alone. Find people who lift you. who remind you that you don't have to burn just to feel alive. Part 5. What we're really looking for. Over the past four parts, we've seen a crazier for what it really is. Not just weakness, but a deeply human struggle. A struggle to feel something real. Whether it's a drink that numbs, A scroll that distracts? Or a relationship that controls? These aren't just bad habits. They're flickers of light we reach for in the dark. But we've also seen the cost. False joy always leaves us thirstier. The trade, pleasure now, pain later, wears us down. It burns us out. And yet, there's hope. Sartre's words keep echoing. Freedom is what you do now. with what's been done to you. We're not doomed to make the same deal over and over. We can choose differently. We can build a life that doesn't just feel alive for a second, but stays alive, day after day. So, what does it mean to break free? It doesn't mean you'll never feel tempted. It doesn't mean you'll never slip. It means you start shifting the pattern, choosing what nourishes over what numbs. what grounds you, over what burns you. Real freedom, in Sartre's sense, is taking the raw material of your life, the pain, the cravings, the confusion, and shaping it into something true. It's saying, I see the illusion. I'm done chasing it. I want what lasts. That's where real happiness comes in, the kind we explored back in Part 3. It's not the dopamine rush, from a like on X. It's the quiet pride of living with purpose, the warmth of real connection, the peace of knowing you're on your path. But let's be honest, breaking free is hard. Akrasia is sneaky. Illusions are everywhere, promising quick fixes that never deliver. So how do we make it stick? First, know your anchors. In part four, we talked about reaching for something anything to feel grounded. Instead of reaching for what harms, find anchors that hold. For me, it's journaling. Every morning I write. It's like a conversation with myself. It's steadying, centering. Maybe for you, it's walking in nature, calling a friend, reading, creating. Find the things that make you feel alive without the crash. Second, redefine aliveness. We chase intensity because numbness feels like death. But aliveness doesn't always mean fire. It can be a slow burn. The quiet effort of building something meaningful. A career. A relationship. A purpose. Try this. Write down one thing you want to create this year. Just one. Then break it into small, doable steps. One step a day. That's momentum. That's surreal. Third, Own your freedom. Remember Sartre's challenge. No matter what's happened to you, you choose what happens next. So when akrasia pulls you toward the old deal, the illusion, the quick hit, the shortcut, pause and ask, is this who I want to be? That pause is your power. That moment of clarity. That's you stepping into freedom. And if you mess up, don't spiral. Self-compassion is key. Say, I chose the illusion, but I see it now. What's my next move? Finally, build a life, not a moment. Everything we've talked about, dopamine hits, empty highs, false joy, they're all about stealing moments. They feel good now, but they take away your future. Real happiness, real freedom is about the long game. Surround yourself with people who inspire you. Set goals that stretch you. Keep checking in. Ask, am I chasing illusions or building something real? That's what the illusion we choose has been pointing us toward this whole time. Not just seeing the trap, but stepping out of it. You are not your impulses. You are not your past. You are what you choose right now. As we close this episode, I want you to hold on to this. You are not stuck. Akrasia doesn't own you. The trade, sure pleasure for long pain. It's steep, yes, but it's not permanent. You have the freedom to choose differently, to choose what nourishes, what grounds, what truly makes you feel alive. Sartre would call that your freedom, not to erase the pain, but to shape it into something real. So let me ask you this. What's one illusion you're ready to let go of? What's one choice you can make today to live more freely, more fully? The people we call broken, they often know more than we think. They're not confused. They're not blind. They're just making a trade, a burst of light in exchange for a longer shadow. Because sometimes, Even a short moment of warmth feels worth the fire. We don't always choose the flame because we're weak. Sometimes it's because we've forgotten what warmth feels like. So I leave you with this final question. What does happiness feel like to you? And how do you know when it's real? Share your thoughts on X or simply email me. I'd love to hear how you're breaking free and what anchors you're finding. This journey has been real, and I am deeply grateful to walk it with you. Keep reflecting, keep choosing, and keep building a life that's yours. This is Reza Sanjide, and as always, this podcast is for people like you.