Thym 4 Tea with Mikita

Ep 92 Laugh Cry Rewind A Powerful Story Of Truth with Judy Haveson

September 05, 2023 Mikita Smith, Finding Courage / Creating Space & Living Life
Thym 4 Tea with Mikita
Ep 92 Laugh Cry Rewind A Powerful Story Of Truth with Judy Haveson
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

What does it take to navigate life's twists and turns, from career shifts to personal tragedies, and still find the courage to craft an unforgettable memoir? Well, you're in for a treat because we're about to dive into the extraordinary life of Judy Heveson, the incredible author behind the debut memoir, "Laugh Cry Rewind." πŸ“š

Judy's journey is nothing short of inspiring. Her story is a testament to the incredible resilience of the human spirit, painted with moments of loss, self-discovery, and an unwavering determination to keep moving forward.

In this heart-to-heart conversation, we'll unravel the very essence of Judy's memoir. It all began with her profound desire to share her life stories, both before and after the tragic loss of her sister, with her son. πŸ“–

Get ready for an emotional roller-coaster as we explore the profound emotional journey that Judy embarked upon while penning her memoir. We'll uncover the transformative power of storytelling, the healing that it can bring, and the strength it can ignite within.

But that's not all; we'll also delve into the importance of having a robust support system. Judy opens up about the role of self-care and exercise in nurturing her resilience, and her insights are nothing short of inspiring. πŸ’ͺ

This episode is a heartfelt journey through life's highs and lows, a story that will tug at your heartstrings, and ultimately, one that will leave you reflecting on your very own life journey. 🌟

So,  find a comfy spot, and get ready to be moved, inspired, and encouraged. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one! 🌈
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Speaker 1:

It's your rawest point points of your life. Regardless of what it is, it's painful, but I did have those moments where I was like I can't share this. I can't. But I'm so glad I did, because since I've written the book, women have reached out to me talking about when they lost their sister or just some of the things they could relate to in the book. And I go back to my friend who's in my head who said to me if you just touch one person, it was all worth it.

Speaker 2:

Hey there, I'm Makita, a small town girl with dreams who started a podcast with an old headset and a laptop at my kitchen table and made my dreams come true. On my podcast, time for Tea with Makita, we chat about living life unapologetically, on your terms, from career advice, entrepreneurship, relationships and everything in between. This is your one stop shop for real conversations and inspiration. If you're looking for connection, then you found it here. Join me every Tuesday as we dive into those sometimes hard to have conversations. So grab a cup of tea or coffee and get comfy, because this is time for tea with Makita, and the tea is definitely hot. I never feel like you need a superpower boost of motivation with exclusive tips and tools with your goals in mind. We'll say hello to your new inspiration hotspot the Tuesday Tea Newsletter, your weekly infusion of big thinking energy that will propel you to chase your wildest dreams and never shy away from using the power of your voice. Sign up for the Tuesday Tea Newsletter today at beautifullyunbalancedcom and elevate your goals to the next level. All right, welcome back. It is definitely time for tea.

Speaker 2:

I am Makita. I just want to thank you so much for sharing your time, your space and your amazing energy with me today. Today I have a wonderful guest, ms Judy Heveson, a proud Texan with a heart as big as her accent, and she's been through it all just like you. You know she's had ups and downs, loss, but she's here today to spill all the tea on her debut memoir, laugh Cryer Rewind a journey through her ups and downs, and she wants to share a heartfelt message with those of us who face those tough times, because life pushes us forward and there's light beyond the pain. So grab your cup of tea and let's dive in. All right, judy, first of all, just thank you so much for sharing your space with us today.

Speaker 1:

Oh, my gosh, thanks for having me. I always love talking about my debut memoir, but I always love, just you know, visiting with people and talking about the message that I wrote about in the book.

Speaker 2:

And I think that is such a powerful message because we've all experienced some form of loss. We've all been through something. You can't go through this thing called life without having some type of experience that has helped to shape you and help you to grow in some form.

Speaker 1:

Exactly. That is so true, so true.

Speaker 2:

Yes. So before we get into all the juicy tea on your memoir, I would like for you just to give us a little background. Tell us about yourself and your journey, how that started and how did you end up, in public relations, to where you are now.

Speaker 1:

Oh my gosh. Well, I never really wanted to start in public relations, I wanted to be a journalist. So I started to go. I started taking classes at college in my freshman year All journalism. I took writing classes and I took news classes. I had one professor that just absolutely put a halt to the whole thing and he was just like listen, you cannot be a journalist. And I was like why? And he said because you write like you talk and you talk for days you will be an editor's nightmare. I'm like oh. So I had to tell my parents. I'm like look, I can't do journalism because this teacher and my at first my mom was like no, no, no, no, just keep going. And I'm like no, no, no, no, no, no, I can't, I can't go back.

Speaker 1:

So I switched over to communications, which actually was a better fit because you could talk and I didn't really know where the communications path would take me. So I did a lot of different things, but along the way, sadly, during my freshman year of college, my older sister got sick and it was really it's tough because we were very close. She was seven years older but we were very close and I was going home from college pretty much every every chance I got. So I really fell behind and sadly she passed away. It was going to be 40 years ago this September, which means that was I was in college that long ago, which is quite frightening. But so I decided to come home.

Speaker 1:

I'm from Houston, texas, and I decided to come home and start going to school there and started taking more communication classes and it led me into radio broadcasting and I did this amazing internship at this rock radio station and it was like the greatest thing ever. I'm like this 19-year-old girl who's obsessed with rock and roll music and I'm doing this internship at this rock and roll radio station and it was just, it was awesome. So from there, that led me to a career in music promotion and I moved out to Los Angeles and I promoted artists to different radio stations. One of them I actually went on the road with which I write about in the book and that was none other than Vanilla Ice. So that was a crazy time. And then I actually got fired from that job, which I also write about in the book. So it's okay, you just got to pick yourself up and figure it out.

Speaker 1:

So, instead of just completely reinventing, I went on a different path of communications which led me into public relations and then, from public relations I started. I got married, I started my family here in New York and decided I wanted to just do something for myself and not work in a big corporate environment anymore and start writing. I always wanted to write. I did write a lot of business stuff when I was in PR, but I never did the creative writing like I wanted to do. So I started answering ads for freelance writers and I started a blog and just decided it was time.

Speaker 1:

I had a very good friend who encouraged me and she said to me you know, if your message can touch one person, it's all worth it. And that's kind of where. That's what led me. That's as she really you know, her voice in my head led me to really pursue this and go full force in. And it took about two years a little under two years and I self published, which was an amazing journey because the publishing world has changed so much and it's a really, it's a really great process. I can't, you know, I can't really speak about traditional publishing because I didn't even go down that path, but this was a great, a great choice for me and the book came out last September. So I can't believe it's coming up on a year and I'm already kind of thinking about book number two.

Speaker 2:

Well, I'm glad to hear that you're thinking about book number two. Going back to that professor that was like this, isn't? You should think about transitioning out of journalism to something else. When you think about the path your career took from going into communications, having the loss of your sister, to coming back home, studying closer to home and then getting that internship to where you are now, would you think that teacher or would you, you know, do you feel like they play like a pivotal part in saying that? You know, sometimes we get tough love or hear things we don't want to hear.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, no, I would think him. I would think him 100%. Because exactly what you just said sometimes we don't want to hear the truth Because it hurts our feelings or, you know, makes us feel bad about ourselves or whatever. And at the time it probably did. At the time it probably did hurt my feelings and made me feel bad about myself, but I was 18. So everything hurt my feelings and made me feel bad about myself.

Speaker 1:

But now my older self will tell you, you know, thank God for people like him, because I think we need that critical, you know, constructive, critical criticism. We need people in our lives to be able to say you know, maybe not this, you know, or maybe you want to do something a little bit different. Or, you know, follow your dreams, whatever you want to do, but you know, maybe be a little more realistic about the end goal. But, yeah, no, I would absolutely. If I, if I remembered his name and if I, you know, if I remembered his face, I would go back and I would thank him and hand him a copy. So he probably would say to me I told you you wrote like you talked. I mean, he was, he was so steadfast in that and that declaration of you will be an editor's nightmare.

Speaker 2:

So did you always have this big passion for storytelling and conversations? It looks, it seems like that it's just natural for you.

Speaker 1:

Well, my mother would tell you that I always had had had an act for storytelling, but maybe a little bit more embellishing stories or whatnot. But I do, I like, I like to tell stories. I like to, you know I like to. I like to make people feel good about themselves and you know, share, share, fun stuff. I think that must come out of. Some of you know the experiences I had in my life where you know there was just a lot of sadness and a lot of tragedy and you know I'm here. You know it's hard because it's like when you, when you think about the themes of the book, it's real easy to to. I had one reviewer say it could very easily fall into self pity and I've never wanted to be that that person. No matter what's happened in my life, I never want to be the victim. I don't want to talk about victimhood because I think that that is just wasted energy and it can't help you move forward. So I guess I am a National Board storyteller in every sense of the word.

Speaker 2:

Now your memoir Left by Rami Wan. It takes readers through your personal experiences. What inspired you to like put your story on paper? Because I have. I have been curious and you know, thought about it. But it's such a moment, to be honest, that can be kind of scary, and having the courage to do that and share your story to help other people can be. It can be a lot. It brings up emotions that sometimes we think we've dealt with or we think we've healed from. And then it comes back up and we're like, oh, I still got the work. So what kind of made you say? You know what I want to inspire people with this story.

Speaker 1:

So you're right. It puts you in a very vulnerable place, because the thing about memoir is that you can Google this and ask all sorts of questions about what is a memoir and, at the end of the day, most common answer is it's truth and it's authenticity. I'm a no-name, so anybody that takes a chance on reading my book I had to make sure that it was my truth and that I was authentic in how I told it. When you've aspired to be a writer any kind of writer, whether it's for magazines or newspapers or books or television or whatever it is you go through a little bit of imposter syndrome because you're like I'm not really a writer. And it really took the writing coach I was working with, after I'd been working with her for I don't know a couple of months, for her to finally say to me you know you're writing a book. I'm like, oh no, I'm not writing a book, I'm just writing my thoughts down and you're helping me. And she's like, nope, you're writing a book. And I was like, oh okay, I guess I'm writing a book.

Speaker 1:

The inspiration for the book actually came because I got married later in life and I had my son in my 40s and he's now 15. And when I'm sitting around during COVID, like all of us were, I started thinking like my God, you know how does it COVID gets me and I haven't even shared anything with him in terms of my early days, really, what happened with my sister, how he came to be. I mean, you know, there's all these things you want to share with your children and maybe you share bits and pieces, very guarded, of what you want them to know along the way. But you know, when I lost my sister, I lost the ability to have nieces and nephews, so he doesn't have any, you know, relatives to be able to say you know, oh, my God, you're just seeing your mother when she was 15, you know, or, or whatever, whatever. So that was kind of why I started the project.

Speaker 1:

Okay, as I wrote it, it became less and less about my life before and after his birth and it became more and more about my life before and after my sister passed away. Because, like you said, it conjures up all these. Maybe you've thought you dealt with it at the time, but you you chances are you haven't. I mean, unless you've been through like years and years and years of therapy and even then maybe you still haven't conjured it up, but it was. It was intense. It was definitely intense because you know, like I said, it'll be 40 years since she passed away, which is a lifetime, two lifetimes and you know it was only 19 when she passed away and who knows how I dealt with it when I was 19.

Speaker 1:

You know, I thought I did because you know, when you're 19, you're invincible anyway, and you know, you know it all and it's all good, but I didn't because, even though I did have said therapy, I didn't deal with it the way I should have dealt with it. You know, really exploring those moments, like her last moments, or my last moments with her, or all the things that she went through, all the things that my parents went through, and what it meant to our family. You know, and that is why I feel like it's so important for people to understand that memoir is truth and you have to be authentic, because the minute you read, you know a memoir that's fake or whatever you know and you put it down. You don't care, and I've been toyed around with, oh, I'll let somebody write it for me, like I'm some famous person or whatever, and so why would I even do that?

Speaker 1:

because it's not. It's my story. Only I can tell my story and fortunately I did also read about memoir and any self publishing, not even just memoir, fiction, nonfiction, whatever. Hire yourself a really good editor, because you that's the difference between a successful and unsuccessful book period in the story is editing, and even though I feel like I'm an okay writer, no, no, but the editor made me an amazing writer. So you know so. But go back to your original question. It all centered around, you know, starting in one place, but figuring it out as I went along that it was completely different story.

Speaker 2:

As you were going through it, when you got to the personal pain points, was there a moment when you were like I don't think I can do this, or I'm not sure, or you know, maybe I shouldn't put this out here. Did you have those moments where you just like no, yes, I'm doing it and I'm just going to do it.

Speaker 1:

Well, the answer is yes, I did, because, you know, like I said, it's your rawest point points of your life, right? Regardless of what it is, it's painful. It's painful, you know. But I did, I did. I did have those moments where I was like I can't share this, I can't know, I can't. But I'm so glad I did because, since I've written the book I, you know, women have reached out to me talking about when they lost their sister or the stories of how, you know, they lost. You know just some of the things they could relate to in the book. And I go back to my friend, who's in my head, who said to me if you just touch one person, it was all worth it. So the way I pushed through was having a really good coach who told me to keep going, even if it was painful, and I had a lot of crying, a lot of crying.

Speaker 2:

I didn't think I had that many tears left over this topic, but apparently I did, yeah, so yeah, now you mentioned you had originally started writing to give your son a little bit of background on who you were, you know, growing up as a kid and some of the things you know that he may miss out on from not having you know that that ought there to, you know, tell the dirty secrets and to make him laugh and tell him all the inside things that happen and do you feel like that fit in? Like how did that fit into your narrative? And you were, you know, adding those little pieces into the story.

Speaker 1:

That's a really good question because, like I said, the story kind of morphed as I wrote it and I think that when I was still in the mindset that this was for him, I was, I was less inclined to share some of those dirty little secrets. I guess the big question really is is has he read it? And the answer is that would mean that my 15 year old actually have to read an entire book. So, as he said to me, when I got the book in the mail the first time, I said, oh my God, I wrote a book. And his response was Mom, books are so 1980. But yet you still have to read them for high school. Okay, there you go.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

He's read bits and pieces he has not read. Some of the more traumatic pieces are parts to the book and I'm okay with that. It's stuff I'll share with him. I'd rather share it with him than have him read it on his own and not understand it and whatever. But the answer is yes, I did have him in mind when I was writing some of these. You know scenes from even things my mother didn't know. Like, really like Mom, how did you not know? I mean, it was the 80s, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, my kids now tell me little things that happened when they were, you know, younger and I'm like, what was I at? Like when all these things happen? Where was I? Like I can't believe some of these things happen, but it's always funny and hot and site to listen to the stories.

Speaker 1:

Yes, exactly Like Mom. You didn't know this.

Speaker 2:

What would you say after you finished the book and you had this moment of now? You know because, like you said earlier, you had to get into the mindset shift that you're not just writing down details of your life, but you're now an author, you're a writer, you're a writer and sometimes when people start writing or they write their first book, it's a, it's a big mindset shift to say you know, I'm a writer, I'm an author. Like this is real, like this is happening. What was that transformation like for you?

Speaker 1:

A lot of imposter syndrome. I mean, I still I still struggle with it. If I'm being honest, I did this. I went down to Texas last November. My cousins and friends gave me this little book book signing party and people were coming up to me and they were buying the book. And these are people from all points of my life, right, and they're like I can't believe you do that. You're a writer, you're a writer. I'm like who are you talking about? Will you sign the book? Why, what? Oh, it's my book, yeah, so I still am a little struggling with it, but it's cool, because I went to this thing the other night and somebody was like well, what do you do? And I was so used to saying, oh, I'm in public relations and I do this, and all of a sudden I'm like I'm a writer Really. Have you written anything I get? Yeah, I published my first book last year and they're like what Really Is?

Speaker 1:

it on Amazon. I'm like, yeah, and they'll pull it up on their phone or whatever. I'm like, oh, I'm buying it right now and I said beautiful, it is a mind shift and it's going to be. It's an ongoing mind shift. They say writing one book is amazing, writing two books is even better.

Speaker 2:

So yes, yes, and now it's on to book number two. Yeah, yeah, but do you think you would do something more personable this time around, or do you think it would be? Do you have any ideas?

Speaker 1:

Well, I can tell you this much it won't be fiction, because hats off to amazing fiction writers. I still am in awe of fiction. Mystery, romance, whatever it is. I mean I read it all right, but again it goes back to that. You do what you know. I think what I'd like the next book to be about is you know, my thoughts are my take on motherhood after 40. Because I could talk about that for days. I don't know yet. We'll see, We'll see, but that's definitely percolating. That's definitely percolating.

Speaker 2:

Okay, well, that's definitely a great topic for a lot of people.

Speaker 1:

Yes, I mean, I'm not an expert, I'm just living it. Yeah, I'm not a doctor, I don't play one on TV, but I am a mother of a teenager and I'm getting ready to turn 16 in a year. So you know, it definitely took the less traditional path.

Speaker 2:

And that's all right. Now, your message to those who face tragedy or loss is that life goes on and good things can wait on the other side of pain. Could you just elaborate a little bit more on this philosophy for people that are listening and just need that reminder?

Speaker 1:

Absolutely so when, again, as I mentioned, never really getting a chance to explore those final days or moments when my sister was dying, the philosophy actually comes from her right. So we shared a birthday, which is next week, but I don't think that's relevant for the podcast but we shared a birthday and I guess I said she was seven years older than me and our last birthday together she was in the hospital and we had this amazing conversation. It was really just life changing for me because we just kind of put it all out there and her message to me was don't stop living because I'm dying. And she says you gotta keep living and you gotta promise me you're gonna keep living because you have so much more to live. And that was very hard because, like I said, I was turning, I was 19, she just turned 26. And it wasn't fair. I mean how dare that happen? Like who decided that was gonna happen and who decided I was gonna live and she was gonna die? So I mean those were very powerful words you just don't stop living because I'm dying. So I carried that with me and I carried that message of I have to keep living.

Speaker 1:

And I didn't live for her. Maybe in the beginning I did. But obviously, 40 years later, I'm still here and I'm still living every day the best I can, and I had many more ups and downs after she passed away, whether it was losing a job, suffering three miscarriages, the crazy dating world, whatever, losing boyfriends, whatever it was, whatever it was, it was my story, my story alone, and how it landed on me is how it landed on me. So I could have just surrendered and give it up, or I could keep living because I knew that there was something better. So it's like stop living your life waiting for the other shoe to drop right.

Speaker 1:

Good things do await you on the other side of the pain, and they may not seem. It may not be that clear cut. When you're suffering, when you're in the midst of tragedy, when you're in the midst of loss, when you're in the midst of grief, you may feel like there's no way out and you may feel like I can't get past this. And the reality is you can, right, you can't. It's just a matter of how you choose to deal with it and the support that you have around you. So that's kind of where the message comes from Support is everything.

Speaker 2:

I feel like I don't know where I would be without my family support and my network of friends, of support, like you said, having that friend that reminded you that if you just touched one person, which is so true if you reach one person and help them, then that's worth sharing. You know Exactly exactly. So, as a Texan, what are a few things from your Southern roots that you carry with you, no matter where you go?

Speaker 1:

Family, the importance of family, without question the importance of family. Really good barbecue, really good, really good Tex-Mex food, right, I mean just be kind. You know, living in Houston people are kind. You know other parts of the world they're not horrible, but they're not like genuine right. And it's just. I mean Houston was always like considered of the big cities in Texas, like you know, it was always Dallas. Like I can't tell you how many places I go where I'm not in. You know, if I meet someone and I'm telling them from Texas, like, oh well, we know people from Dallas and I'm like, well, I'm not from Dallas, I'm from Houston, oh, oh, it's hot there. I'm like, well, yeah, it's hot in Dallas too. Oh, it's hot in Texas, isn't it? So I just think a real sense of genuine kindness.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, there's something about that Southern charm that always gets people. I'm a Southern girl myself, so when you said family and you know barbecue, I was like yep.

Speaker 1:

Yep, it's been a long part of my history.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's so funny because we had an event we went to and they had like a choice between regular pork barbecue and chicken barbecue and my husband's like I'm gonna get chicken. I'm like I mean, there's nothing wrong with chicken barbecue, but we're talking about barbecue. We don't get pork, good stuff like come on, that's awesome.

Speaker 1:

Awesome, so true, so true.

Speaker 2:

From the people that have connected and felt like you know they are. You know like you're telling their story. Because I know there's lots of people who, when you're reading someone's memoirs, like oh my gosh, they're telling my story, this person knows me, I've experienced this. What is one of them? You can, if it's more that you can name that too, but what is one reply or review? Someone told you about your book that like really kind of touched you and stuck with you.

Speaker 1:

This one woman reached out to me and was telling me that, while she was older and older than my sister and I, she and her sister just the circumstances in which she lost her sister, it was a very much. It's a very different way. She was a car accident. It was this crazy story where the sister's car had broken down or something and she needed to borrow a car or whatever and she ended up having to take her own car and the car she got an accident and the sister had to be like stuck with that guilt that she didn't let her sister borrow her car. I mean, you know, horrible, but it was so close, right Just because it had also happened around the same time of year.

Speaker 1:

So my sister, so I'm Jewish, and the Jewish holidays of the new year and Rosh Hashanah, yom Kippur, the holiest days on the Jewish calendar, and they come in September, sometimes early, sometimes late, but my sister died right around that time. So it was a very somber year. That year Her sister also died around the same time. So it was just, it was weird, you know, it was just one of these things that there was somebody else out there in the universe that was experiencing almost the same thing around the same time. That made me feel like you know, I was telling her story too, like you said, Wow, that's, that's.

Speaker 2:

I know I don't have to say like, yeah, something like that happening like simultaneously, like that's a lie.

Speaker 1:

Right, right, I mean, here's a complete stranger with the courage to reach out. I mean, you know, I don't know if I'd do that, I'm not sure if I would do that, but you know I've had others that you know, anyone who I don't know who they are taking the time to just say you know what a beautifully heartfelt written story. All worth it, all worth it.

Speaker 2:

I mean, you know like I did it Right, okay, yeah. Now, besides writing, are there any other creative outlets that you'd like to do?

Speaker 1:

Well, cooking is not one of them, so I can just stop that one right there. What do I like to do? That's the size of writing I mean. Well, I have an adorable Yorkie and I love hanging out with so much. He's my buddy Music. I love music. I love music and I share that a lot with my son. I used to play the piano. I don't do it anymore. I'm starting to kind of remember, but I mean, obviously, how cliche. I love reading.

Speaker 2:

I think reading is the most powerful form creativity there is. To be honest, like absolutely, absolutely but so what is one takeaway that you would like readers to know about this memoir? Like what's the one thing you want them to take away after they finish reading it? Like what's your one general message for them?

Speaker 1:

I mean, it's pretty simple. It's just keep living your life, push through the pain, because good things are waiting for you. If you can do that and I know there's a lot of people out there that are suffering and can't even imagine that that's a statement that is worth considering. There were so many times in my life that I was right there, you know. It's just right there, thinking what else. You know, are you kidding me? You know what else? And perseverance is more than a word. It's just you have to just live your life for yourself, you know, and surround yourself with people who can make it a better place for you.

Speaker 2:

That is so, so true. Now tell us well, at least tell me anyway. How do you get back to yourself, how do you take time to redefine self-care for yourself? Do you have any particular thing that, like, is like part of your daily routine, or are you just like? This is what I do whenever you know, depends on what's happening.

Speaker 1:

Well, about nine years ago, I got really, really, really into spinning. There was a spin studio across the street from my apartment in New York and I thought I'd never try it because I'm like I have no stamina and I'll probably pass out. And it was the worst experience of my life. I thought I was going to die and I couldn't walk for a week. I thought I'd ridden a horse and you know, being from Texas, I should know how to ride a horse, but I don't ride horses. So it felt like I rode a horse. I couldn't walk, I couldn't sit, I thought I was going to throw up in the middle of it. I'm like, but I'm going to go back. So I went back and I kept going back and I kept going back and I kept going back and even, you know, during the pandemic, we found a bike and you know, and I love it, I mean it's, it's such the adrenaline boost. My husband works out like a fiend. He's constantly trying to get me to work out with him and I used to work out, you know, like lift weights and strength training and all that kind of stuff, and it's just like can't be bothered and he's like, well, you know, you're not. I mean, everyone tells you can't just do cardio and I'm like I can't. So I spend, I do a lot of spinning. And I mentioned my Yorkie, toby. I walk him every day. Every day we bond.

Speaker 1:

Toby was a big part of me writing the book too, because he I read it to him. He was my, my guinea dog. I mean he literally heard the entire book before anybody saw it, heard it, knew about it, whatever. I mean he would sit there right next to me and I said okay, toby, I'm going to read this to you. I mean I lost my mind because I think this dog is like a child. But what can I tell you? And, by the way, he's 15 pounds, he's not one of these purse puppies, he's like a. He's a good sized dog and he'll just sit there and he'll listen and whatever. So that's why he's mentioned on the back of the book for Toby. And so spending time with my dog and spinning and getting my nails done, those are like my favorite things ever ever Notice.

Speaker 1:

I didn't say cooking. I cook my bacon, I don't cook. I don't bake. No, not if I don't have to.

Speaker 2:

No, I don't mind cooking, but it's not something I really want to do between that and laundry, and somebody else can have it.

Speaker 1:

I don't even mind the laundry, it's the cooking, no, but so exercise, I mean, whatever the exercise is, exercise is really important, not only for your physical but your mental, for sure. Oh, definitely, it's you sharp and keeps you going. And, yeah, definitely, when you said, when you sent over the original questions or whatever we were talking about this, you, you said you had asked for five words to describe yourself. Do you remember that?

Speaker 2:

I do, I do, but then you changed your mind. I did, I did. But it's never too late, because I feel like there is so many things that make us who we are and I feel like, when we start pulling back the layers of all of those things, there is like so much underneath that. So you please share with us, though you know, five words that I came up with. I have words, yes.

Speaker 1:

So the first one I came up with was loyal, because I am a loyal person and I don't like anybody crossing any of my friends or my family and I will stick with them to the end of time. Another one is compassionate. You know I am. I do have a little bit of a compassion for for other people and I hope I'm teaching that to my son. Another one is curious. I'm curious about the world around us. I'm curious about everything you know. I love, like I said, reading. I think curiosity is a very important thing. I'm sarcastic. That gets me in trouble, not as much as when I was younger, but it for sure gets me in trouble.

Speaker 1:

And probably the reason I got fired from that job in Los Angeles. I think the words were you have an acid tongue. I'm like, oh okay, nice to meet you. And then finally, blessed. I'm a very blessed person and I know that a lot of people might question why. I would think I'm blessed if I've had all this loss and tragedy and grief. But I'm here and I'm very blessed to be here and I'm blessed that I have the people in my life that I have and the ability to do the things that I love.

Speaker 2:

I love all of those and you know what they stand true to, who you are, just by having this conversation with you right now and you can see all of that and hear it and feel it.

Speaker 1:

Thank you.

Speaker 2:

Thank you, you're welcome. I want to tell people where they can get your memoir and stay connected with you.

Speaker 1:

Okay, great. Well, it's on Amazon. It's exclusive on Amazon, so if you're part of the Kindle Unlimited program, then you can download it for free. It's an ebook and paperback format. I'm toying with the idea of audiobook, but that's a big thing. That's a big deal, that's a big project. I'm also on social media. You can find me on Instagram at Judy Haveson, I believe. Twitter is at Judy Haveson and Facebook is Judy Haveson. Author, and I have a website, judyhavesoncom, making it very simple for everybody just to use my name.

Speaker 2:

There you go and don't worry, you guys, if you don't have a pen or a paper, I will have all that information for you in the show notes. Okay, All right, judy, again, thank you so much, oh, my gosh, thank you this has been such an amazing conversation. All right, you guys. Now that is all the tea that we have to spill today, but guess what? Join me each and every Tuesday for more delicious hot tea. Until next time, Namaste.

The Power of Sharing Personal Stories
From Journalism to Memoir
Writing a Memoir
Becoming a Writer and Motherhood
Finding Hope and Strength in Tragedy
Creative Outlets and Personal Reflections