Thym 4 Tea with Mikita

Wealth Redefined: Mindful Money Strategies with Camille Upchurch

March 12, 2024 Mikita Smith, #SelfCare #Motivation #WellnessJourney #BeautifullyUnbalanced
Thym 4 Tea with Mikita
Wealth Redefined: Mindful Money Strategies with Camille Upchurch
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Have you ever felt like financial freedom is just a distant dream while you're buried in debt? Join me, Mikita, as I team up with life coach Camille, on a revealing journey from financial distress to abundance.

This episode of Thym 4 Tea is a heart-to-heart on how you can break free from the shackles of debt, and why it's time for us to have frank discussions about money, mindset, and the emotional weight that comes with our bank balances.

Camille, who once wrestled with her financial woes, now guides professional women towards security. We unravel the historical complexities of women's relationship with money and highlight the significance of perspective shifts that can lead to a life of both contentment and financial confidence.
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Beautifully-Unbalanced

This isn't just about numbers; it's about emotional well-being and mustering the courage to confront financial struggles without shame.

Together, we tackle the taboo of money talk, the perils of comparison, and the transformative power of self-care in the quest for personal fulfillment.

Whether it's understanding how to prioritize savings over splurges or the wisdom of buying with cash, this conversation is a treasure trove of insights.

So, pour yourself some tea, and let's embark on a path to financial wellness where the goal isn't just to survive, but thrive. With faith, self-compassion, and a sprinkle of strategic spending, we're redefining success one sip at a time.

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Camille:

I think one of the things to be successful with money first, in addition to having a mindset of abundance and not doing everything from scarcity, is something that has nothing to do with money at all, which is contentment. So if you have shelter, if you have transportation and means to get around, if you know where your next meals are coming from and you're supported in that way, to learn to be content with what you have, to be fully content. And what does that mean? What does that feel like? To not think I need to acquire that thing, to be more, which nothing outside of you makes you more than you are.

Mikita:

Hey there, I'm Makita, a small town girl with dreams who started a podcast with an old headset and a laptop at my kitchen table and made my dreams come true. On my podcast, time for Tea with Makita, we chat about living life unapologetically, on your terms, from career advice, entrepreneurship, relationships and everything in between. This is your one-stop shop for real conversations and inspiration. If you're looking for connection, then you've found it here. Join me every Tuesday as we dive into those sometimes hard to have conversations. So grab a cup of tea or coffee and get comfy, because this is Thym 4 Tea with Makita, and the tea is definitely hot. Ever feel like you need a super power boost of motivation with exclusive tips and tools with your goals in mind? Well, say hello to your new inspiration hotspot the Tuesday Tea newsletter, your weekly infusion of big thinking energy that will propel you to chase your wildest dreams and never shy away from using the power of your voice. Sign up for the Tuesday Tea newsletter today at beautifullyunbalancedcom and elevate your goals to the next level. Welcome back. It is Time for Tea and I'm Makita. I just want to thank you so much for sharing your time, your space and your amazing energy with me today.

Mikita:

The other day I came upon a quote by Tony Robbins. It said the moment you shift from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset, you journey to a financial freedom. So this was like so on point for our conversation today and I really wanted to share that with you guys. I have an amazing guest. She is a life coach who has mastered the art of shedding the burdens of scarcity and shame around money. Camille's journey from financial struggle to one of security and abundance, along with her dedication to helping other professional women everywhere break free from six-figure debts, is a powerful testament to transforming one's financial mindset and life. So, camille, welcome and thank you for sharing your time and your energy with us today.

Camille:

Thank you so much, Mikita, for sharing this space with me and having me here. I'm really excited and happy to be here with you.

Mikita:

Thank you, I'm excited too. This is such a great conversation. I think sometimes we talk about a lot of stuff as women, but rarely do we talk about money and financial freedom and what that would look like for us.

Camille:

That is so true, and sometimes I think about this in a historical context, about how, if we think back to ancient times in civilization, women were socialized literally to be property. You were owned by your dad and then, when you got married, if you did get a husband, then your dad would give you a way to your husband. You take your husband's name, and we were not socialized to have wealth, to talk about wealth, to be about wealth. We contributed to the families, always in really meaningful, important ways, and to civilization and society. But the money talk is just not a thing. If we're talking here and nails and family stuff, yeah, but not a lot of us have the ease around the money stuff and there's no good reason for us not to.

Mikita:

I definitely agree. Now, before we get into all the tea on you sharing the backdrop of your story for those who may not be familiar with you and what you do, could you give them a little background into what you do today?

Camille:

So what I do today is I'm a certified life coach and I help my clients who have six-figure debt or multiple six-figure debt in all honesty, I'll help anybody with that to develop a financial plan to get rid of that debt much more quickly than they thought they could, so that whatever goals they have in life they can reach and achieve more easily. Maybe it is that down payment for a house, maybe it is upgrading that car, maybe it is sending kids to college, but sometimes the debt does not facilitate all of that, and so getting rid of the debt sometimes seems insurmountable, and I help with that through money advice and money teaching, and then to deal with the drama that comes up for us through life coaching.

Mikita:

Yes, well, thank you for doing that one. But, like you said, it's amazing because I realized that I was watching this movie. I don't know the name of it, but it was very interesting to realize that it was not that long ago. We think about women's right to own land and own property and vote and do all these things. It was not as long ago as sometimes it's spoken about, but we were not allowed to own anything and you were the property of your family to be used and bothered in different ways. So the idea of speaking about financial struggle is one of those things how you never talked about what goes on in the household but you never shared financial struggles or say, hey, I'm having a hard time, I don't have the money. I am struggling here to just make ends meet or put food on the table, let alone pay bills and get out of debt.

Camille:

So you know this and so I think what you just hit on is so multi-layered. First, yes, there's a piece about how we were socialized and conditioned and some of us just are not comfortable talking, don't want to talk about money, right. And then there's this other piece where, if we're not where we think we should be financially, we also don't want to share, right, we don't want to open up and talk about that. And that reminds me of something that happened to me recently. So in my other life I'm a physician, a physician leader in internal medicine and hospital medicine, and I trained at a medical school and the brown girls in my class we would get together while we were going through training over 20 years ago and we would have potlucks. And we got together recently and one of my classmates she was saying you know, back then she's a very successful physician now at a teaching institution and you know she's got it together, no issues. But she shared, you know, back then she was really struggling financially. I'm from Jamaica, she was from Jamaica, she was an international student, her family was not here in the States and she said you know, sometimes we got together for those potlucks and that's when I would eat for the day and you all were so rich and I was thinking about the fact that none of us knew this. She was sharing this with us now, but at the time I was struggling.

Camille:

I was in medical school. I had really horrible money habits. I had multiple credit cards. They were all maxed out. Creditors were calling. I didn't want to answer the phone. I was dealing with my own embarrassment and, of course, I wasn't going to enter the room and lead with that. I was like y'all, I don't know how to manage money, I don't. You know, we're all trying to have a certain appearance on the outside, but if we were saying to each other for real, look, I am struggling, we would have support, we'd have companionship. We, you know, there's a potential for that. There's no potential when we are, you know, in this place of shame, thinking we're doing it wrong and hiding. So yeah, it's just yeah, so, so, so important, I think.

Mikita:

Definitely. And I like how you mentioned, like how other people perceive that you have money and that you have it all together and you're doing so much better when reality, like we're all in the same boat. It just looks pretty in package from the outside but it's, it's really not. And I think the first time I had a friend and she said I was like, oh, let's go out to eat. She was like I don't have any money, girl, I am broke. And I was just so shocked because I really didn't have a lot of money either.

Mikita:

The money I was going to use was really supposed to be paying a bill, but I was willing to not pay that bill, to go out to eat and do something else with it, which is, like you said, really bad money habits.

Mikita:

And her saying that just allowed me the freedom to say I'm broke too and I don't really have any money. And it just lifted, like this weight off of me of having to feel like we always have to go somewhere to do something that requires us to spend money just to have a good time together, because you don't, there's other things. But until then I never expressed, even within my own family, like my siblings, we never talk about money or finances or how someone's doing so. There's a lot of shame and guilt, and I think dealing with debt is often an emotional journey as well as a financial one. Throughout your journey, when you were talking about being in college and having that shame of not wanting to pick up the phone because you knew it was a creditor and you'd maxed out the card, how did you work towards that financial freedom, to get rid of that scarcity mindset and just change your mindset altogether?

Camille:

So that is an excellent question. So it's interesting because for me all along when I had the debt, I didn't know how I would get rid of it. And kind of for anybody with student loans kind of, what we're sold is get your education. That's paramount. I am all about education. I think that is a really important asset to have. So get your education. And then where about the student loan later? And we'll give you 30 years, 20 years, whatever, just like a mortgage. You could just pay it off, don't worry about it. But when I left medical school with hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and I graduated a couple of decades ago for folks now out of any kind of professional school or after maybe graduate training, it could be twice.

Camille:

What I was dealing with back then easy. I knew I wanted to get rid of the debt, but I had no plan. I didn't have a model for how to do it. There was nobody talking to me about this is how you approach it, but I knew I didn't want it. At that time it literally my payment when I finished school was the same as my mortgage. So I have these two mortgages and I'm like I don't want two mortgages. How do I get rid of this and I would ask financial professionals and they're like what you worried about, don't worry about it 30 years, you're good.

Camille:

But the way that I dealt with it was I kept being curious, I kept reading. As a matter of fact, when I was graduating from professional school, I asked for books on personal finance because some kind of way I knew I had a problem, and so my friends were kind of gifted me with those books and as I read the first one, I read, you know, those black and yellow books for dummies series personal finance for dummies. That was a good one. So that was the very first one I read and it was so applicable, so useful. I just got thirsty. I'm like I want to know more. And in that journey I committed to myself every year I'm going to learn more than I knew the year before. And I did learn a lot in that journey.

Camille:

It took me 20 years. At the end of 20 years I still had some debt. Then I got a plan. Then I got some strategy and an attack. I had $100,000 left. I paid that off in seven months.

Camille:

At that point I stopped thinking that I had a money problem. At that point I started feeling freer. My mind just opened up to things that thought that, honestly, were available to me all along. But my belief was, with this debt, I can't also hold this abundance, which is not true, and so that's stuff that I love coaching people on. And I got some validation from the financial advisor I had at that time. At first he was criticizing the approach I was using, but when I had success and I paid everything off, he's like oh my gosh, can you teach your colleagues that? Because now I put him on hold a minute. I said I'm not going to be paying you, and when I came back I was investing so much with him.

Camille:

But I think I've used curiosity, learning, some exploration to take me through that time. And something that I don't want to forget to mention is that, although finances is very important, it's just one of the facets of this rich life that we live. So our physical health is important. Spiritual, emotional, family, your social circle those things are all important. So even if you have a financial struggle or challenge, you can pull on these other pieces of your life and still live a rich, abundant life. Yeah.

Mikita:

I like that you said that, because wealth is good and we all want to be able to afford to do different things throughout our life. But you're right If we don't take care of our mental, our spiritual and our health wise, then we're not going to be able to enjoy any of the things that we want to gain financially. You have to have all of those building blocks and those pieces, and abundance comes in many forms and I feel like when you change your mindset around what abundance is, that's where the freedom for financial success comes in at too. Yeah.

Camille:

Absolutely, absolutely. And since we're talking about mindset and I do coaching in that practice, I just want to take just a little bit of time to say I was certified in the Life Coach School and Brooke Castillo is the one who kind of put together the thought model which is what I use in my coaching practice. So the thought model quickly is CTFAR. We are all dealt these circumstances in life, things that just are, they're facts. People wouldn't really debate them. You know, if I said that today was Thursday, that's the circumstance, it's Thursday. But then with those circumstances and facts, they're neutral, they're not bad, they're not good, they're just, it's just Thursday. But then we have a thought about it. So that's the T and the CTFAR. We have a thought about the circumstance and the thought might be Thursdays are horrible or Thursdays are great. It's nearly the end of the week and we attach some meaning then to the circumstance. And then that thought Thursdays are great will generate some emotion in our body, whether that's elation, excited, happy, whatever, and then the emotion drives our actions and actions drive our results.

Camille:

So with money, the mindset, you know how we approach. Maybe I have debt, but what do I think about that? Do I think this is an opportunity for me to learn some habits. That will, you know, take me forward and, you know, learn some habits. If I'm in a family, if I have children, I can teach these habits to my children. This debt is an opportunity, or do I think? You know, this is a burden. I can't get anything done. It's not an opportunity for creativity. It's just what it means is what we think about it, and so that mindset about money whether money is scarce and I never have any, which is how I grew up with this insufficiency thought or that you know money is a result of service that we give Money can be obtained. If I'm creative, you know I can get money. Those kinds of things will inform the experience we have while we're in debt or not.

Mikita:

Recently, I think over the past year, I've changed my mindset around money, and I don't know what shifted per se. But I know one day I was like man, I need to have to do this, I need to pay this off and I need to. And then something said you're going to find a way to do this because money always comes to you. It's, you know, it's what you do with the money that makes the biggest difference. So what do you want to do? Do you want to enjoy your riches now, or see the progress and see what you can do, and then you'll be able to reap the benefits you know later in a more abundant way. The biggest question was how do I want to use the money and which one would give me the best feeling of how I use it. And then that shifted where I was putting my money into and how I felt and related to oh my gosh, this bill is due or, you know, I have to make this payment, like, no, like I'm going to because of this, I get to, you know, benefit in another way.

Mikita:

And then I and I always talk to my, especially my oldest daughter, because my youngest is in college right now, but I talk mostly to my oldest daughter, and we talk about the fact that, like, always tell her you can go shopping and you can spend money and buy the latest whatever. But you're also talking about paying off this car. So what would be the biggest benefit for you and how would you feel about it? And if you start thinking about that and let that start motivating you and moving you, you're going to get that car paid off way sooner and quicker and then you can close, are always going to be there, like they're going to be there. It's going to be a new design, a new latest whatever and another week or two, but think about how you would feel knowing you've accomplished this financial you know. So I just think it's great way how you said we attached emotions to a lot of things. We know these are facts, but there are definitely emotions attached.

Camille:

Yeah, that is such an excellent example and great advice for your, for your daughter. So you know, and another way that I think about that sometimes is, if you know, one thinks about your future self right. So, like myself, a year from now, which decision will that future self really be grateful for? Will my future self be more grateful that she doesn't have a car note and she has these three dresses in the closet? Or would she be grateful that I forget what I said? But, like, if she does have a car note and these three dresses in the closet, or, a year from now, no car note and what I used to pay for the car note, I have to buy dresses. You know it, you know. So that's one way to think about it. But there there's, you know, a lot of different ways to think about.

Camille:

And when I was growing up and had very different thoughts about money and wealth and what it meant, I used to look at people and I thought I could look at and point out that the rich people, and now everything I think has very much shifted, because it's not that it's necessarily true, but sometimes when I see folks really flossing and bling and I'm like that, you know their money is in the stuff and, like this book, the millionaire next door I love this term. They use in the book artifacts. Right, that person got all the artifacts. The money in the bank, it's in the artifacts. That's not necessarily true. You can have artifacts and have money in the bank at the same time.

Camille:

But a lot of times what I found is, once you kind of have wealth and you have that security or emergency fund is locked up, you know how your kids are going to go to college if that's the direction they're going into or their future is, you know, secured from a financial perspective. Your shelter is secure. You know you own your automobile when you're you really you know a lot of people don't have anything to prove and it's not about the next thing I'm going to. You know, purchase, like you said, that stuff will always be there. I get it. It starts to go down in value. You know, the biggest thing I'm into now is trying to thin out my closet because I got too much stuff. The closet is jam packed with stuff. You walk in there. I can't find anything I like to, with some like I need to just pair it down and I just want less, you know. So, yeah, our money, mindset and what we think and what we think we have to project and the choices we make, is so, so important.

Mikita:

It is. I think I used to love clothes too, but you know, I'm like that too, like I don't want more clothes. I think I have enough. If I wear the ones I got, then I'll be doing something. I want more life experiences. That that's that. That's my financial freedom more life experiences for me.

Camille:

I love that and I'm with you there. See how I'm all sitting up straight when you say that. Because if that is just awesome to share some, I'm thinking about putting together a post from my community around this thought, the thought that you know you want experiences and you want to be able to just, you know, pay for them. Right, so you're paying for your vacation now, but the vacation happened last year. Why you still paying for it, right? Another way to do it is pay for what you can afford, save the money up. You know you want to go to for vacation in June, you want to be, you know, set for vacation and it is just a.

Camille:

You know, I've had it both ways. I've been on vacation where charged it all up, came back and I'm paying the bills and vacations done, the sun and the fun is done, but I got the bills right. And the other way, where I saved up whatever and this is what we have for vacation, when we're on vacation, we're using this up and it's okay because everything's taken care of, this is just vacation money and we come back, the vacation is over, but I don't have the payments. And it's really kind of enjoyable and freeing that way.

Camille:

And another thing that I just an idea, just want to introduce is this idea of being your own bank, where, when it comes to paying for things that you desire and consuming, you're not borrowing money to do that, but the money's in the bank, your own money that you have there, and if you want to go on vacation, you write a check. If you want to buy a car, you write a check, and that's very doable. I think sometimes when I talk like that, folks are like yep, she's saying that because she's rich, and the opposite is true. You get rich by thinking that way. If I got to be doing payments for five years, maybe I can't afford that thing right now and that's okay.

Mikita:

I'm very much for that, like very. I don't think we've ever any trip we've ever went on. We've never paid when we got back, unless maybe it was like something small. The trip itself is always paid for, because, I'm telling you, I'm not one of those people that's going to pay on anything for a long period of time. I'm just not going to do it and I don't want to default. So we got to get it done.

Mikita:

I know me. I'm not going to do it. I'm either not going to pay it and default and be in a bunch of debt and trouble, or we're going to pay it, so I'd rather just knock it out, or we're not going to go and I budget to the last penny. Also, even with my grocery shopping, like, if I go grocery shopping, I literally think about, like, if it's, if it's wings we're getting, I'm like, how many pieces will each person get? So if this, this, this mini in this bag, how many meals with this? Equal to like. I am very strategic, and not that I'm being cheap, but I just I don't like to be wasteful either. Yes, yeah.

Camille:

Yeah, I have a good balance in my home because, in all honesty, I could spend some money. I am not even a lie. My husband is very he's like what you want to spend what? No, you know, he is just totally the opposite of me. I check myself because I like have a plan and stick into the plan and watching what I'm doing.

Camille:

And I love doing that because I see the, I see the fruit of it. You know I love, I love having a nice vacation. But then that means you know I need to start putting away for that vacation and you know if we're going to get out on a boat and have lunch one day, I'm going to have that little couple hundred dollars set aside for that. You know experience and I like that.

Camille:

And I let me tell you I love walking into a car dealership because it's time to replace my car and write in a check, because they are not expecting that. They're telling you about the five year payoff plan, the four year payoff plan, the six year payoff plan, and when they're done I'm like that's all good, but we're not doing any of that. I'm just going to write your check and this is how much I have. So let's talk and I love that. So that takes that planning and that strategy and being able to wait, because maybe I want a particular type of car and I don't have that money right now. But you know, the day I buy it it starts decreasing in value anyway, so I'm not in a rush, you know. Put the money together and then get the vehicle. You know that I desire, but that I think and I think that's another thing for us to be real, honest and understand you know our needs versus our desires and our wants, and be clear about that.

Mikita:

Yeah, and I think there are a lot of key lessons and I know for the people that are listening, like as you, as they're listening, I know some people are like, okay, what are some you know lessons about money and debt, key lessons and personal finances that you know, like you wish you may have had or known earlier. You know because some people are in the beginning stages, they're just starting to think about what they should be or could be doing, and I feel like this conversation is a great piece to figure out or get at least the idea and thought process going of what they can do. So what are some lessons or tips for people?

Camille:

that you wish you would have. So I think one of the things to be successful with money first, in addition to having a mindset of abundance and not doing everything from scarcity is something that has nothing to do with another thing that has nothing to do with money at all, which is contentment. So if you have shelter, if you have transportation and means to get around, if you know where your next meals are coming from, and you're supported in that way to learn to be content with what you have, to be fully content. And what does that mean? What does that feel like? To not think I need to acquire that thing, to be more right, which nothing outside of you makes you more than you are. You're fully, you know. Which is what was interesting for me, because I started, I kind of shed my ideas of scarcity when I paid off my debt. I started to feel very capable about money and I started to have certain feelings that were available all along, and if I wasn't capable, I couldn't have paid off the debt. It was there with me all along. I didn't recognize it. But to be content with what you have, that alone will bring wealth, contentment, as opposed to a feeling of I need to have this. I want to have this. I can't wait to do this. I can't wait to do that. I'll be happy when that's a sure way to not manage money well, and I was guided by you know, I've had a lot of that when I was younger, trying to look a certain way.

Camille:

And the other thing, in addition to contentment, I would say, is learning to buy stuff in cash and learning this idea that big, big, big purchases, like a mortgage for a house you might not be able to save it all up. Save up as much as you can. The bigger the down payment that you have, the more easy and fast out it will be for you to deal with the payments. But anything that you can reasonably buy in cash, whether you have to save it, save for three months, six months, 12 months you might want to do that. Such a priorities and such a money aside, to buy that thing in cash instead of borrowing to buy it. If you have to borrow to buy it, that means you can't afford it. And so what things do you want to borrow to buy?

Camille:

And generally, people who are building wealth actively and effectively, they may be borrowing money, but the thing that they buy is increasing in value. You don't borrow money to buy mutual funds and stocks, but you might borrow money to buy a house. Houses usually go up in value. Borrowing money to buy a car we all do it as like the normal American thing, but cars go down in value.

Camille:

So if you develop a habit of I just buy cars in cash, I save, and it's not just a rich thing, that's how you get rich and you'll get rich faster if you practice that. And if you don't have money, if you feel like my money isn't enough, I can't meet my bills, it's even more important then for you to not get another bill, which might not be the way folks think about it, but buying things in cash and I think the last thing about money is just that focus and priority is a big key. Sometimes we try to do everything with our money all at once, when if we channel and focus on these are my big priorities we get a lot more accomplished, and that's really true for any piece of our life finances, physical health, anything else.

Mikita:

I like that and it's a great reminder for people to just kind of step back for a second and really start evaluating how they're using their money and how they feel about what emotions that are involved buying something that's going to appreciate in value. I really liked that because I was like, ooh, I never thought about it that way, you know, am I doing things that are going to appreciate my value? So, yeah, I like that For people that feel shame and they don't want to necessarily, you know, and they're struggling with emitting like I'm having a problem or you know, I I just feel like, you know, I've even heard people say I'm just poor and that's just what it is and that's and I know that's kind of a mindset that they, you know, they may have and it may be very ingrained from past.

Mikita:

But how can people get around? Yeah, not having the shame.

Camille:

So what you know, in all my talking I don't want to minimize and say that there isn't such a thing as Poverty, there isn't such a thing as not having access In in some communities, in some situations, right, and in our conversation I'm making certain assumptions, like we're talking about individuals who are functioning in society, who have employment or know how to gain Employment, have skills they can put to use and you know their whole, and they don't have things that would preclude them from the you know access to money, to income. But once you have that access and that income, you may not be where you want to be, but the, the emotion of shame and the thoughts about your growth and where you're going versus where you are. You know that shame kind of comes from what you think about, where you are, and the shame is although I've heard, you know, this old saying, you can't change it unless you shame it Totally not true, right? You can love yourself and enough to change. You can, you know, love your future, self enough to make changes in what you're doing. You can focus on your habits and bring about change. It doesn't have to come from shame.

Camille:

Shame really, it's an emotion we all experience, like the reason we're talking to each other and we know what we're talking about is because I felt it. You might have felt it, we've all had these human emotions. But to be aware, why am I ashamed about this? What am I thinking about this? Is there something else I could potentially be thinking, instead of shame? What do I want to feel about this situation? What would I have to think to feel this?

Camille:

You know that and that takes a little bit of stopping being aware of yourself and and coaching really is an awesome instrument to you know, when I say I coach, it's not like telling people you should do this, you should. It's not about that. It's very much about bringing awareness to what you're thinking and how that is driving what you're doing and driving your results, so that if you want to change, you then have a way to change your thinking. If you want to learn how to pick different thoughts that bring about other emotions but shame is is a very it's one of the smallest ways to drive change they're much more powerful ways.

Camille:

You know love, enthusiasm, motivation they're much more powerful emotions and while we feel shame, it's just important to be aware and then find a way to switch that and I think, a lot of emotions that cause us to shrink, to hide. Then doesn't allow us to tap into, you know, the fullness of our humanity, which is so big. We've been blessed with so much creativity as humans, with so much in the mind. So, yeah, and surround yourself with people that you know can come at you with love. You know, maybe a community of like-minded people Is another way around. That, I think. Get some coaching.

Mikita:

And just to add to that, I would also say Not to compare yourself with someone else, because it's easy to look at someone else and then feel shameful, thinking that they have it and you don't. Yeah, I thought the conversation. You. You know, even if it's small, just don't look at anyone else and just assume that they're doing great or they have something that you think you should have or you think you should be on their level. I remember I was, I was at a place and One one of the people that I was with was like you know, I feel like I didn't do anything with my life because this person is only they're only like 26 years old and I'm like 50 something and look at where they're at and I'm like who said they're?

Mikita:

anywhere like you're looking at this person, thinking they got it together because they have a different title than you do. But I don't mean Anything. That doesn't say anything about who you are, your character, or nothing, or nothing. Um, I think you're really reading into a whole lot of this, because if I spent my whole life Thinking about someone else's title and what I think that they're doing better or more than me, I would never feel like I'm worthy.

Camille:

So it's so interesting because I think personally right, I love being around people who I Think are doing it, because I think that's possible. Look at what's possible for me. Look at that. You know, a person can do that, a person can create that awesome. And that's about where the usefulness of comparison comes in, because, in fact, each of us was so.

Camille:

I do believe in a higher power, I am Christian, and that informs some of what I think, but I think that each of us are created for a unique purpose and we're we. We have a path that only we have. And Whatever, whoever created us in my case, I think it's God created us specifically for that thing. And while we're busy, worried about the next person's journey and their path and what it looks like to us, we are not honoring our own journey. And it is thoughts like that, honestly, that after years of just Learning about money, learning about wealth, becoming good at growing wealth and, you know, just coaching anybody who was in my space who wanted you know a transformation, I said, yeah, you know what I can. I am being a doctor and I am functioning in that way, and I'm also teaching people how you know to be healthy in another space, not the physical, but the financial arena, and I love them both and I'm gonna do that thing.

Camille:

But we each just have this unique path and mine doesn't have to look like anybody else's and nobody else's has to look like mine. And if we're comparing ourselves again to little ourselves, shrink ourselves, diminish our own light totally useless Comparison and we just need to be busy about our own journey. How can I Eat this going? How can I keep joy in my journey? How can I spread light, give in my journey? Yeah, you're, you're. That's a big thing, you're right.

Mikita:

Definitely. It is so, as we wrap up this conversation, that you have to tell us One way you are redefining self-care to pour back in your into yourself with helping other people, coaching, you know, being a doctor. How do you redefine what it means to show up for you?

Camille:

Yeah, so, especially recently, I've been spending a lot of time thinking about this for myself, and so I actually have a lot of things that I've had to do to keep myself whole Joy as much as possible. I mean happy, I mean being sad and being down as part of the journey. But but how can I support myself in the best way to be there for my family, for my loved ones, for my business, for my work? One of the things that I'm doing that goes a long way for me is to begin my days with intention, and that looks like kind of waking up Right, maybe grabbing something hot to drink and sitting down and being aware of what is in my head and Also giving some thought to what I want to be in my head and what I want my day to look like, you know, and then I usually start off with some physical activity and some movement for these stiff joints, and that just floods the rest of my day With with some ease. So that's one of the ways. It's just this intention at the beginning of my day.

Camille:

Some other things, though, I'll just share. One other thing Is that for a long time in my life I was really looking to other people To give me happiness. You know other people to give me stuff that I can give myself, and so, as an actor, I, and so as an act of love for myself, you know, I give myself those things that I need. I need compassion, you know I need understanding, you know I mess up and I need grace, and so I give those things to myself. And, yeah, if there are other people in my space who are willing to give that to me, I'll take it, but if not, I know I'm cured for because I'm holding myself.

Mikita:

I like that. I really think about doing intention when I sometimes I wake up and I'm not in the best of mood. It's life, it happens. I don't want to get up, and that's when I really sit there and focus and say what's your intention? How do you want to move throughout this day? You can stay in this mood or you can be intentional about how you show up. So I like that you said that, because today was one of those days. I woke up with a headache. I was just not feeling it.

Camille:

And I will say sorry.

Mikita:

Makita? No, no, I was just saying. I sat there and I was like, okay, you have to be intentional about how you want to show up. It's up to you.

Camille:

Yeah, and I'll also say you know, I think the human experience is beautiful and all of it. So some days we're down, some days I am sad, my heart is heavy, but then I'm going to sit, allow that feeling to be, you know. And then how am I going to care for myself when I'm feeling that way? You know, what do I need to do to care and love on myself when I'm feeling that way? It's not that, you know, I never I'm going to be sad or I'm never going to be down. And the same is true too for finances. If I'm in, you know, a down cycle or someone's having, you know, a hard time to pay attention to that. Maybe you know how. You know what can we switch, what can we change. Look at it and while you're going through it, have compassion for yourself instead of shame, you know.

Camille:

But yeah, in the good days and I'm also in a place in life where I'm realizing that, like, all of me is really really good I like make horrible mistakes. Sometimes I'm clumsy, sometimes, you know, I'm on this perpetual journey with my, my weight, and I love all of that and the stuff that I'm doing, really right, you know, it's the good and the bad, and that's kind of the beauty, the beauty of this life. I'm learning from the stuff that I'm not doing right. I'm having all these beautiful lessons. When I stop and kind of pay attention, I mean, gosh, I learned so much. You're going to be telling me to shut up in a second, but this morning I think I woke up and I was. I was focusing on something that happened yesterday with my husband. I was like why was I thinking that way, you know, and just learning how you know kind of stuff that I'm charging him with? That really is my own stuff, you know. It's just all beautiful.

Mikita:

I love that you said that you're loving learning to love all of you, because that is such a beautiful experience to love everything. I'm a little clumsy. Everybody that knows me knows it. I'm going to drop something, spill something. It's going to happen. I used to be embarrassed about it. Now it's just like, oh well, it happened, it's going to happen, it's okay. So I think it's so amazing to love every piece of you and just have grace and laugh at the lessons and move forward with it. So tell everyone how they can connect with you If they want to know more about your coaching and how you can help them to get rid of their debt and move into a place of abundance versus scarcity.

Camille:

Yeah. So this, this really is my work of passion. I love working with women, professional women. I feel like you know, when us women have our money together and we're confident about it, we know what we're doing. Our families benefit from it Because of how it's transformed my giving. I didn't realize I'd be able to give in ways like this and influence things that are important to me, like education, for instance. We can change our communities, so I think this is really important. Folks can reach me at Instagram. It's at coach underscore, my underscore, personal underscore, finance or at the website HTTPS coach personal finance dot com. Or email me, camille, at coach personal finance dot com. Those are all ways to reach you. I'm on Facebook Coast Personal Finance.

Mikita:

I'm out there and don't be upset if you didn't have your pen and pencil ready. All that information is going to be available for you in the show notes so you can connect with Camille and stop having shame about your finances. We've all been there, we've done it and we're all on a journey to do better, so you're not alone.

Camille:

Absolutely, and I'd love for anybody who's interested to book a sales call so I can talk about how one-on-one coaching can help in your financial journey.

Mikita:

Yeah, yes. Well, thank you so much for just coming on and sharing your knowledge with us. This has been an amazing conversation.

Camille:

Thank you, makita, thank you so much.

Mikita:

All right, all right, you guys. That is all the tea that we have to spill today, but guess what? You can join me each and every Tuesday for more delicious hot tea. Until next time, namaste.

Empowerment Through Financial Mindset Transformation
Navigating Financial Struggles and Mindset Shifts
Financial Mindset and Strategic Spending
Building Wealth and Overcoming Shame
Self-Comparison and Self-Care Journeys
Intentional Living and Financial Wellness