Ep. 55 - The First Assorted Guest Update Show

Four years later, three familiar voices return with the kind of progress that makes you want to re-check your own “someday” list. We catch up with Rua Fay, who turned a film blogging passion into real industry access, landing Cannes and TIFF credentials, interviewing artists she once idolized, and learning the business of film through undergrad work, festivals, networking, and nonstop curiosity. 

Then we reconnect with Josh O’Connell, whose deep library of casino gaming writing reaches a turning point. It’s a real look at calculated risk-taking, career pivots, and how long-term skills can snap together into the job that finally fits. 

We also welcome back Mary Elizabeth Murphy to talk about why so many of us feel overwhelmed and frozen right now and how her RESET Your Buttons model is timeless in helping us maintain solid relationships. We dig into her 90-day reset sprint, pop-up productivity sessions, and the Pomodoro method as practical tools for focus, relationships, and workplace communication in an era of uncertainty and AI disruption. 

Ep. 14. The Film Blogger Conversation with Rua Fay

• Cinemasters Home Page

Ep. 17 - The Gambling Writer Conversation with Josh O'Connell

• Flip the Switch HOME
• Get the Flip the Switch Newsletter
• Brian Christopher BCSlots.com
• Brian Christopher Slots on YouTube

Ep. 37 - The Reset Your Buttons Conversation with Mary Elizabeth Murphy

• RESET Your Buttons
• RESET You Buttons Podcast on YouTube
• Buy RESET Your Buttons

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Credits

Music Credit:  True Living by Patrick Moore

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Transcript

Subscribe And Cold Open Montage

SPEAKER_06 0:00

Don't forget to hit subscribe or follow wherever you're listening to this podcast now. That way you don't miss any of the great conversations I have coming up. Thanks, and here's this week's episode. Everyday people following their passions.

SPEAKER_08 0:27

That's probably like one of the highlights of my life so far. Just being able to be creative like that. I'm able to.

SPEAKER_02 0:36

And then I decided to get another hive, and that turned into a lot of hives. As long as I can do that, I want to be a good citizen. Help people out.

SPEAKER_06 0:47

Putting themselves out there, taking chances, and navigating challenges along the way.

SPEAKER_04 0:54

I I absolutely identified with having stage ride because, you know, anytime I went on stage, I just felt like I was having a hot attack.

SPEAKER_01 1:01

Very first lap, very first practice session, I crashed, turned the car upside down, made a spectacle of myself, and I got back on that horse and started riding again.

SPEAKER_06 1:10

As they pursue what makes them happy and brings them joy.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

As long as people are having a good time and I have the opportunity to put smiles on people's faces, I love what I do.

SPEAKER_07 1:22

I have done things that I never thought I could do.

SPEAKER_02 1:27

To have somebody tell me how real it looks and how, you know, from their actual memory. Because that's telling me I captured what I was trying to get.

Rua Faye Goes Pro In Film

SPEAKER_06 1:38

Welcome to a started conversation. I'm your host, Helen. Good morning, good afternoon, or good evening, wherever you are. This week I got to take a stroll down memory lane and revisit three guests who have continued being everyday people doing extraordinary things since we first chatted with them four years ago. I catch up with our youngest guest, our man of international mystery guest, and the second most downloaded guest on Assorted Conversations. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Why not the most downloaded guest? Well, because we couldn't get our schedules to line up. But rest assured, he'll be on the next assorted guest update show. Sit back, relax, enjoy this week's episode, and I'll see you on the other side. We met this guest back in 2021 during episode 14, the film blogger conversation. We discussed how it sick. She created a film blogging website, recruited other Cinephiles to contribute to the site, and was beginning to create a community dedicated to a mutual love of all things cinema and theater. She was a senior in high school back then, and at this time she is now getting ready to graduate from Ithaca College in 2026. I am so happy to welcome back Rua Faye. Hi, Rua. Hi, thank you for having me back. How are you?

SPEAKER_09 3:25

I'm great. I've got about a month left of school, and then it's I'm moving to Los Angeles and it's off to the big leagues.

SPEAKER_06 3:32

Oh, fantastic. So let's get caught up on what you've been doing over the past four years.

SPEAKER_09 3:39

So in 2024, I was lucky enough to attend my first film festival as an intern. I interned at the Cannes Film Festival, and then a few months later, I attended my first film festival as press. I did the Toronto International Film Festival, also known as TIFF. And then I just kept applying and applying to other ones. I've done South by Southwest, Tribeca. Oh, I just got back from my first sun dance. My school set, I asked my school to pay for my accommodation, and that, you know, was a huge help. This year around, since I'm graduating, I won't be going to Cannes this year, but I've become, I think, one of the youngest people to get approved for press at Cannes. And I'm sending one of my writers. And in the fall, I will be pursuing my master's degree at the American Film Institute.

SPEAKER_06 4:35

Oh my gosh, that's fantastic. Holy cow. So you attended all of those film festivals. And assuming that Cinemasters benefited from that, were you able to write and review and and share synopsis of the movies that you were seeing?

SPEAKER_09 4:53

Yeah, I think it helps going there because not everyone, I mean, like when a movie comes out on Netflix, everyone can watch it, but before a movie's had a theatrical release, there's a mysticism around it. And, you know, you people are eager to see what the very few who've already seen it think. So that was yeah, you know, it it's been a big help. And I would also say like the best part about the film festivals is how educational they are. Like as a film student, I've learned more in just a year of going to a few film festivals than I have at any single singular class I've had in undergrad.

SPEAKER_06 5:38

Really?

SPEAKER_09 5:38

In terms of in terms of not not not film as a medium, but in terms of the industry and how to network with people. There really is nothing like it. Experience is the best teacher, and that's what these film puzzles have taught me.

SPEAKER_05 5:55

Mm-hmm.

Networking Anywhere From Cannes To LA

SPEAKER_06 5:56

Yeah. A lot of the things I know that you've been involved in have required a bunch of networking. And you are out there where we're hooked up on LinkedIn. You're out there multiple times a week with with different posts of what you've gotten involved with. Well, who are some or what are some of the important connections you've made that have really opened your eyes up to film and other possibilities within the medium?

SPEAKER_09 6:31

Well, I think one of my I think my funniest story I have networking. I I use this story to tell people that networking can really happen anywhere. I was at the 2025 anniversary screening of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest at Cannes. And they had one of the producers up there, Paul Zance, who came to talk about what the film means and how it's about anti-fascism. And he's like, Listen, I'm a filmmaker from the US and we're in a bit of a crisis right now in terms of that. And he just had a lot of really inspiring words, I thought. And I went up to him after the show and I said, Oh, thank you for your for your words. This movie means a lot to me. Have a great night. And then I went to the bathroom and there was like this older woman there, like this beautiful, like older woman, definitely former model. And I said, Oh my god, I love your dress. And she said, Thank you. And thank you for those nice words you said to my boy, to my boyfriend. And I was like, Your boyfriend. And next thing you know, I'm interviewing them both the next day. She sends me a free copy of her book. He's a he's produced like three Oscar-winning films. He was amazing. So wow, that was fantastic. That was a great connection, and it came out of literally nowhere. The bathroom. Yeah, literally just telling someone you like their dress in the bathroom.

SPEAKER_06 7:52

Yeah. Oh, that's funny. What are have you had any wow moments, you know, that have kind of blown your mind as to you know what you've been able to experience?

SPEAKER_09 8:01

Yeah, I mean, I got to interview my favorite screenwriter, Charlie Kaufman. He won the Oscar for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. He has also directed some really great films that I love, like Anomaly, Stuff Thinking of Ending Things, Synecdoche, New York. I think he's just adaptation. No, that was Spike Jones, but he wrote that. I think like it was so surreal interviewing him because he had a he had a short film at AFI Fest that he directed, and it was so cool just like being freshly 21 and getting to talk to someone I've admired for so long like that. Like that was crazy. Yeah. I also got to meet he's a bit of a Massachusetts legend, his name is Frederick Wiseman, and back in the day he directed a film at Bridgewater State Asylum called Titty Cut Follies, and it was about sort of the treatment of the criminally, not criminally people who were deemed insane back then, and like a talent show they had in a mental institution, and it catalyzed a lot of change. He died, I believe, in his late 90s, like two months ago.

SPEAKER_06 9:32

Yeah. Great. Have you been starstruck at any point?

SPEAKER_09 9:37

Yes. Yes. Oh my god, I have like yeah, I I point to two people in particular that I have I haven't worked with them. I've just been in the same room as them and I've talked to them briefly. And they could not be more different. I have only been starstruck by Tim Robinson, comedian Tim Robinson, and Jaffer Panahi, who is a he's a Jaffer Panahi. He is an Iranian filmmaker who just won the Palmda Orat Cannes. He is very well known for making films critical of the Persian government, and he's done prison time for his film. So I got to see him give a talk at AFI in the fall, and it was just like it was so insane. Actually, I do I do have one more. I'm forgetting one. And this has nothing to do with work. This was a chance encounter in LA. I was working on Sunset Boulevard for like six months, and one day my my roommate who usually came to pick me up from work was at like a live taping of like the price is right or something. So I decided I was like, you know what? I'm gonna just gonna I'm just gonna take a walk down Sunset Boulevard. It's a beautiful warm night. I'll just like see what's up. And I walk into this bookstore called Book Soup and I walk in and I run into my childhood hero, Baz Lerman. And we're we're in a bookstore together, and I look at him and I just go, I'm sorry, are you Baz Luhrmann? He goes, Am I in trouble? And I go, No, you're like the reason I'm here. Like, and he was with his wife, and I went, is that Oscar winning costume designer Catherine Martin? He went, Yeah, it is. And I was like, He was like, Do you want a picture with me? I was like, I would love to. And I just talked to him about like how strictly ballroom, like I watched that with my mom all the time, and how Moulin Rouge was like my first favorite movie. Like it was just it was insane. And that happened literally in a random chance encounter at a bookstore on Sunset Boulevard.

Cinemasters Shifts Into Film News

SPEAKER_06 11:56

Oh, that's funny. That's gotta be wild. You are very well versed in your writers and directors, and I mean, I'm lucky if I can remember the actors in some of my favorite movies. Let's talk about Cinemasters for a little bit. You found out that one of your articles or one of your reviews was posted in a museum. Did I get that right?

SPEAKER_09 12:20

Yeah, so that same that same woman that I I complimented her dress and I interviewed her husband, the producer, he his family, he's part of a very illustrious filmmaking legacy. His uncle was extraordinary producer Saul Zance, and his name's Paul Zance, it's hilarious. But I believe Paul donated quite a bit of his film collection to the Academy Museum, and his his girlfriend texted me on WhatsApp and she said, Oh my god, like they have a press section, and because yours is like the most recent interview he's done, it's in the museum. And so that interview is now in the archive for the Academy Museum, and you can look it up if you want to go to the archive, and it's insane.

SPEAKER_06 13:17

Yeah, well, that's amazing to me. So, how has Cinemasters grown over the past four years?

SPEAKER_09 13:27

It's grown not only in terms of numbers, but I think in terms of scope. I remember like for a while I was just writing about any movie I found interesting, but now we've turned into a lot more of a film news publication where we exclusively cover, not exclusively, but we mostly cover new films like you'd see at like Hollywood, Hollywood Reporter, Indie Wire when back then I was just any movie that I saw I would review even if it had been out for like 20 years, and I find that kind of silly. Like I know I've seen people who have like like movie review Instagram accounts will they'll review like The Little Mermaid from like the 80s. I'm like, what are you doing? Yeah. We've seen this. That movie's like almost 40 years old. No one's like, oh, I wonder if I should watch its Disney classic. Let me see what this random film student in college thinks. Like, no. So I decided to really make a pivot towards new movies that are coming out because it's in a lot of ways I consider myself a product reviewer. Um because you know, if people, if you're asking people to spend their hard-earned money, you need to give them a product that's worth that money and they're worth their time and worth their attention. And I'd like to think that a review of mine has convinced someone to see a movie they maybe wouldn't have seen or discouraged them to see a movie I think they would have regretted seeing, like that kind of thing. Right, right.

SPEAKER_06 14:59

Oh, great. How many, how many writers do you have?

SPEAKER_09 15:05

I have probably including myself, I think three probably four regular writers. We do have guest writers, guest contributors, festival correspondents, that kind of thing. Yeah, I've had a few people just write one-off articles for me, but the majority of write-ups are by myself, Eric Hardman, and Zachary Zanato.

SPEAKER_06 15:31

That's great. That's great. And and you know, you you originally started Cinemasters to kind of create a community of folks that enjoyed cinema just like you did. And you all you also mentioned that you know you you had kind of coached or mentored some of the younger folks in high school as as you were coming up, you know, through theater and drama and things like that. Have you continued your mentorship?

SPEAKER_09 16:06

I think I have. I've been I've been teaching workshops on film journalism and criticism at school. I got asked by my professor last week if I could speak for 30 minutes during our big lecture because the topic happened to be film festivals and networking. So I gave some people like a little bit of advice. I I brought some of my badges so they could see what they look like and the terms on the backs of them. And yeah. Yeah, I think I think I have. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 16:38

Yeah, you you sound like you have. You sound like you have. Over the past four years, are there any projects that you've worked on for school that you are particularly proud of?

SPEAKER_09 16:50

I can't help but I'm in the middle of my thesis right now, where we're just editing, but I can't help but think of this one I helped on in freshman year called The Pisser, which was essentially like literally just like a call-out because all my friends and I had lived in the same building, and then this one guy moved in, and all of a sudden there was like pee all over our communal toilet seats. So we made a a neo-noir crime film about this old-timey detective and it's shot in black and white, and it's about this guy trying to find like the mythic pisser, like who keeps leaving the toilet seat wet, and like I like it is shot insanely well. Yeah, I still think it's really good. I was I was only a production assistant on it. My friends really did the heavy lifting, but that it's a funny concept. Yeah, we we my friends they promoted like Instagram ads and held up posters just saying who's the pisser? Find out in the auditorium on this day. And we had like a packed house of people trying to find out who the pisser was, and like the whole twist was that oh, the it was the detective's alternate personality. Like I still think it's great. I think it's one of the better things I've worked on in college.

AFI Next Steps And Producing Goals

SPEAKER_06 18:14

That's funny. What's next for you? You said you're moving out to LA.

SPEAKER_09 18:21

Yeah, so next month of my life is gonna be full of a lot of changes. I'm graduating with my bachelor's in film, my BFA in film, and then I'm getting my MFA in film producing from the American Film Institute in in Los Angeles, which has been a dream of mine since I was a kid. I can't believe I got in right out of undergrad. All my classmates are like 35 and have kids, and I've been working in the industry for a long time, so I have a lot to learn from them. And I've always gotten along better with older people. So I think it'll be a great opportunity to learn from the best of the best and make some really great connections and some amazing films.

SPEAKER_06 19:05

Yeah, absolutely. So after AFI, what do you hope to do with your bachelor's and your master's?

SPEAKER_09 19:12

I hopefully I want to be a career producer. What's great about producing is that you work for a studio most of the time. So it's basically the creative equivalent of having a stable office job. So, like you have an office, you have regular income, but you're making movies. So it's not really the gig-based thing that you would get if you were a camera person or an actor. Exactly. So hopefully I I become part of a really good studio and get to make some great projects.

Josh O’Connell Builds Flip The Switch

SPEAKER_06 19:49

Oh, I am so excited for you. I mean, getting into AFI, your first shot, coming right out of undergrad is is amazing. So congratulations on that. And again, I cannot wait to see where you go. When we first spoke, I I kept telling Maureen, my my partner at the time, I love being at the beginning of a story. And even though we're four years later, I still feel like we're at the beginning of a story with you, and I'm so happy. Thank you. Thank you very much. Well, best of luck, and we will definitely stay in touch. Of course. Thanks, Rua. Yeah, bye. Thank you. And I'm back with an update from a guest who is the most internationally downloaded episode, sort of the James Bond of Assorted Conversations. We met him in episode 17, the Gambling Writer Conversation, and I am so happy to welcome back Josh O'Connell. Hey, Josh.

SPEAKER_03 20:58

Hey, Helen, so good to talk to you again.

SPEAKER_06 21:00

It is so good to see you again. How are you?

SPEAKER_03 21:03

I'm doing wonderful. It's always good to chat.

SPEAKER_06 21:05

Yes, yes, definitely. Now, last we left you, you were writing content and managing all of your content, which was a repository of content for the casino gaming arena from travel experiences to debunking casino and slot machine myths to explaining in layman's terms how to get the most out of rewards programs. And that whole entity was known as know your slots. And I know it helped me out so much back when I was visiting the casino a lot more.

SPEAKER_03 21:41

So know your slots reached 1,350 articles with daily posting throughout the entire cycle from May 2019 through to the end of February 2023. At the time, it was a side hobby for me. So I was doing that alongside a full time job and you know putting in some time on the side on now. And weekends. I was hit an inflection point. It was one of those things where it was definitely going somewhere, but I didn't know how far it would go. And to really push it would have required a lot more time and resources. And I wasn't sure that I was ready for that commitment.

SPEAKER_06 22:18

Right.

SPEAKER_03 22:18

Interestingly, though, at the same time, I had outreach from a friend of mine who we both know, Brian Christopher, who is of Brian Christopher Slots on YouTube Fame. And he sort of this was at one of the conferences. We spoke about this in the last conversation, T2E, which is the biggest industry converse convention every year. And he basically took me out to dinner, and within two minutes, I realized it was a job interview. He started asking me questions about my life and my work. And what ultimately came to be was this idea for a project which became a website that we launched together called Flip the Switch. And so Flip the Switch has elements of what I've been writing about all along the casino myths, the best practices for you know keeping it fun and not blowing money you can't afford. You know, responsible gaming's always been part of what I do and what Brian does too, honestly. So that's that's a nice match. But also we ventured into areas I had not been writing about before. So for instance, iGaming and sportsbooks really have exploded over the past few years, in particular with sports books, and iGaming's kind of falling slowly behind. But that's like another element of what has come into the picture. And so having resources to help people understand how that works and how that differs from being inside a casino and you know how to manage things that way versus, you know, the ATM trick doesn't work anymore when you can just deposit more money from your computer, right? So all the differences that that now happened there. So that was sort of part one of what's become, you know, a really interesting arc that's led to me moving across the country. I was living in Connecticut, not too far from you in New England when we when we spoke the first time, and now I'm in Palm Springs, California. And I'm doing other things than the website. So I'm doing content marketing, which is something I've done throughout my whole career, and you know, and with writing in terms in terms of that, it's always been an element to what I do. But then also paid marketing, which has also been a part of what I do, working on ways to evolve things like our shop, which is you know, merch driven around the casino, some theme to Brian, some theme to the casino more broadly, um, and helping to continue to evolve that. And I have a I did some e-commerce work when I was younger. So it's taken every piece of my life and the work that I've done over a 25-year career and sort of put it all together into this job that I will honestly say was somewhat crafted for me. And I'm very lucky that that's that's the scenario that happened. But it was sort of a it was an answer to my my question, right? Like, how do I do what I do, but do it in a way that's more sustainable? And one way is to find a job at a place that not only wants that, but other things that I can provide. And and so it's been sort of a really nice match between BC Ventures, which is the company that it all lives in, and and the work that I'm doing.

SPEAKER_06 25:01

Yeah. Oh, that that is amazing. I love how everything came full circle for you. Every aspect of your life, every experience that you had, the path that you were on. Little did you know it was gonna lead you to something that, you know, kind of brought it all together. And I think that is just so, so cool.

SPEAKER_03 25:19

It's true. And, you know, sometimes you know you're ready for something different. I had been talking with my partner for over a year that, you know, maybe we don't want to live in Connecticut anymore. I'd hit, I was about to hit 30 years there. And then, you know, I'd lived on the East Coast my entire life. So the job kind of offered a change of scenery, it offered something new to work on, it lets my hobby become my day-to-day work, which is really fun and sort of lets me delve even deeper. Like, you know, the other benefit is which is of course exciting for what I do, is that I have even more people that I know have made relationships worth working here that I've learned so much about what's going on and how things work. And, you know, those answers that I was getting sort of incidentally and here and there now flow more freely. And, you know, we talked about, for instance, players' cards and how people are afraid of players' cards because they might take away money. And I had an industry person say on the record for me a year ago, you know, there's no way that a slot can even respond to the player's card in terms of like changing anything because it's not designed with that capability in mind. So you know, if it doesn't exist, it can't happen. And so that's kind of great for me because it's it's no longer just trust me at my word. I spoke to someone who said this. It's now like, you know, here's this person at this company confirming that this doesn't exist. And so it just takes what I was doing before and really levels it up to a to a new place, which is awesome.

Taking The Leap To California

SPEAKER_06 26:38

Now, with all the change that's gone on, and it was funny before we got on Mike, you pointed out it's been like four and a half years since we last spoke. And I was like, whoa, I can't believe it's been that long. As the change happened, even though it was even though it was a good thing, as the change happened, did you ever struggle with like really following through on that change and and moving forward? Were there any was there any hesitation about leaving the comfort?

SPEAKER_03 27:05

So I don't think so. You know, I was I I was my last job was really great, and I and so there's there's something to be said about that. And when you're in a good place with a good job, it's sometimes hard to sort of envision what the other side will look like. But I've always had a bit of a calculated risk taking. I guess that's probably why the gambling writer works for me. And I sort of looked at it and, you know, is it scary moving across the country when my my family is still back in New England? Yeah, a little bit. And I missed them, but I've gotten to see them, I've gotten out home and they've come back here. So that's been solved through that. And, you know, I I I also knew and trusted the person I was going to work for, and that means a lot. Most of the jobs I've had in my lifetime have come out of connections I've made before getting that job. Uh the guy I worked for before this, we built three companies together. So like we knew each other since we were teenagers. And so and I still speak to him a couple times a week, and we we regularly communicate and joke around and so forth. So, you know, I I I feel very lucky from that perspective that that's the trajectory of my career to date. And so this was no exception. It was, it was, it felt like the right move. I was ready to do something new, and it's pushed me in in in ways that I felt like I was ready to be pushed. So that was also the other thing, too. It's like you want to continue to evolve and grow your skills, right? You want to continue to learn new things. As you were as we were talking before getting on here, you were talking about some new skills you were working on yourself, right? So I think that's that's what keeps you energized and keeps you excited to go into work every day. And yeah, so this has been great for me from that perspective.

SPEAKER_06 28:37

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, uh, you know, your story is a little similar to the story that's in progress for me, which I'm I'm moving from a learning and development career into the podcasting, broadcasting, voiceover world. And I've started my own podcast network. I have this podcast, and there will be another one coming up pretty soon about it's a complete departure from this, has nothing to do with the sorted conversations, but it is something I live with every day. And I want others who who live that journey the same as I do to have to have a comfortable place to come listen, learn, and feel seen. So I'm I'm I'm kind of in the middle of my my story change. So I know I I know I've got a good mentor in you if I ever get stuck or get nervous and go, hey Josh, what do you think about this? Or did you experience that? So so that so very cool. How how do you how do you see yourself continuing to evolve with with the gambling with with the writing and with the marketing and some of the other things that you've worked on for Brian?

SPEAKER_03 29:48

Well, what's been really great about this job is not only am I leveraging things that I learned from previous jobs, but also that it allows me to go back to decision making that I did in my past and sort of look at what's changed since those decisions. So I'll just give it, I'll give one simple example. Most businesses that you work for, you might have a newsletter, right? And you need newsletter software. And so I you I've used different platforms at different points in my career when I helped companies build websites for their e-commerce businesses. I helped them with some of those things. And so I got exposure to many platforms, and some of those platforms still exist, you know, five, ten plus years later, and some of them don't. And some new ones have come out, and so you get this opportunity to sort of look at things again and take a new swing at things that you've done in the past. So and then you also get to look at it from different uh perspectives, right? What we need here may not be what the business last time that I was working with needed a few years ago, but you get this chance to look at it. So that's kind of fun. I always like exploring and seeing sort of how tech evolves and how tech hasn't evolved sometimes and the same little problems that I had still exist. And so that's great from my perspective. That's another way that I kind of keep things fresh and and don't get too stale and stuck in certain things. And then sometimes you realize the tool you've been using all along is still the right one. And you know, something you've invested a lot of time and effort into still gets the job done. The site we built, uh, flip the tech we built flip the switch on is very similar to the tech I built and know your slots on, which is very similar to the tech I built other websites on when I was building websites. So some of that kind of gets reinvested and some of that gets reset. So I think that's one of the things that's been wonderful about this job is that I get to do some of that resetting and relearning and seeing how we can do things better than we used to.

Where To Follow The Casino Content

SPEAKER_06 31:33

That is awesome. So speaking of uh speaking of uh website building, how can folks follow along with you? Where can they find you? Flip the switch, Brian Christopher, BC Ventures Online.

SPEAKER_03 31:48

You're gonna be sorry you asked that question because we have a lot of ways to follow along with us. But I'll start with Flip the Switch, which is one of the projects that I work on. So flipthswitch.com is the URL. That site has had a faster content pace than what Know Your Slots could, which is sort of one of the things that I'm excited about. We're already over 1,500 articles and we may hit 2,000 this year depending on our pacing. So that site in half the time already surpassed what we did, what I did, you know, mostly solo know your slots. We also have a contributor team now, which is another thing that I love because you get different perspectives. People, uh one of the things that's most important to me is you're getting perspectives from players. A lot of times when people are writing about casino stuff, it's for the industry, right? Other casinos, game makers, you know, those types of things. Whereas everything we're working on is designed to talk to other casino players. So, you know, we have John, we have Courtney, we have Robin. Robin, you might know if you're if you're a New England listener because Robin used to have a website called Anytime Gambling, and he decided to shut it down when he was retiring. And I said, Hey, do you want to come be a voice on our site? And so now he's been writing for us, and I just I love that we get to have to keep his perspective in in the mix for the players. Um that's a flipthe switch.com. We also do have our Facebook and Instagram. The handle on Facebook is flip the switch, but the handle on Instagram is flip the switch gaming. We had to find one that was open. And then for BC Slots, which is Brian's main channel, BC slots pretty much across the board Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, TikTok. I feel like I'm forgetting one in there, but pretty much all the core social media platforms. And then there's some satellite channels. We have BC Bets, which is focused on the iGaming, which is the topic I mentioned is one of the things I came to help with, but we also have a video version. And then we have BC Spins, which currently is focused on some of our greatest hits, but something new usually pops up there from time to time. The channel sort of has an evolution. Over the last six or seven years has existed, it's been a few different things. So I imagine that evolution will continue. Right now you'll find some of our clips from from some of the biggest wins through the history of the channel, which is important because Brian just, as we're recording this, celebrated 10 years doing this this month.

SPEAKER_06 33:53

I know, I know. It's funny, I've been following him. I think I'm due to get my eight-year chip.

SPEAKER_03 34:00

Hmm, great.

SPEAKER_06 34:01

In in September. It doesn't make me an OG.

SPEAKER_03 34:06

I do have my nine. I did get that with the because the nine-year anniversary of the fan club, the Rudy's, just was celebrated this month as well. So yeah.

SPEAKER_06 34:13

Oh wow. Yeah, I remember when he celebrated like five, and that was a big deal. So funny. So funny to see how much he's grown and so exciting to see how much you have grown from a very similar passion, and now you're able to collaborate. It's just so cool. I couldn't be happier for everything that's going on for you, Josh. So please let's stay in touch. Thank you so much for taking the time to get caught up.

SPEAKER_03 34:41

Absolutely. And one last thing, because I think it's I want to I want to document this. When we last spoke, we were talking about how to win at the casino, and you and I both really hadn't had particularly good luck. But I think it's really fascinating that both of us had a little bit of a streak at different points over the past couple of years. And it was just a wonderful moment when you had yours, and I just literally had mine last week. So um I just think it's cool, you know, because you don't go, you shouldn't go anyway, with the expectation to win, but when you do have that moment, it is just lovely because it adds a little something extra.

SPEAKER_06 35:15

It is, it is. It's it's like a shot of adrenaline. Yes. It is a shot of adrenaline. Yep, we definitely have both had our share of fun in the casinos. So hopefully I'll get back someday soon and I'll be able to play right next to you in the high limit room.

SPEAKER_03 35:34

There you go. That sounds like a plan. I'll definitely make it back to New England. I'll let you know when I do.

SPEAKER_06 35:39

Yeah, definitely. Josh, thanks so much for all your time.

SPEAKER_03 35:43

Same. Good to talk with you.

SPEAKER_06 35:48

I'm now catching up with a guest who's made it a lifelong quest to understand how and why people can push others' buttons. We first met her in 2022 as we were all starting to emerge from the isolation the COVID pandemic caused, and we saw new interpersonal challenges begin to appear because of it. The topic struck a chord with listeners near and far because her episode number 37, the Reset Your Buttons conversation, is the second most downloaded episode of all time. I am thrilled to welcome back Mary Elizabeth Murphy. Hi, Mary Elizabeth.

SPEAKER_07 36:31

Hi, Helen. Thank you so much for having me back. And for everyone who's listened to the episode 37 podcast, that's exciting. It's fun and a huge compliment.

SPEAKER_06 36:41

Yeah, well, and again, what you do is so, so important. Four years ago, like I said, we were just emerging from the pandemic, and people were just starting to get used to being back amongst other folks. How in the last four years have things changed?

SPEAKER_07 37:01

Well, uh a lot, right? As we know, we were getting, I like to use the term getting our legs back under us, right? Um and being feeling solid on our ground, grounded. And I think that we're not there yet. I think there's a lot of challenges going on right now in in the world, as we know. I just was part of a conversation about what's happening in the world of training and development within organizations. There's a lot of challenges that people continue to want to have learning. Companies want to continue to train people and offer them talent development opportunities. And unfortunately, budgets are frozen right now because people are a little bit paralyzed. They're not sure which way to move or what to do. And I think when it comes to reset, I think that we really do need to be paying more attention to when our buttons get pushed and learning how to reset them so that we can have healthy and productive conversations and continue to work closer together. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 38:14

So it sounds like one of the things that you're seeing is it's just more of the same. We just have different challenges right now that are still pushing people to the limit.

Calming The Amygdala In Real Time

SPEAKER_07 38:24

Yeah, yeah, I think so. I think that some of the different challenges right now are uh it's funny you say that because I watched a program recently about 2012, and I said to my husband, I'm like, I the I can't watch this right now. There was a lot of things similar in 2012, too. So it really does come down to if we learn how to manage to reset our buttons, to recognize when a button gets pushed, to think about our expectations in the moment, and I'll talk about the rest of it in a minute, but it's all there in episode 37. We build better relationships. And at the end of the day, whether it's 2012 or 2020 or 2024, it's always gonna come down to how are you and I interacting with each other? And what positive, what constructive way can we help each other and then in that help the world be a better place? Right. And I know that's you know, some people may be rolling their eyes listening to this, which by the way is a contempt move, so don't be rolling your eyes out there. But it it it is that because it pushes buttons, it is that understanding that a button gets pushed, my amygdala goes off, and and back to this overwhelm or frozen state feeling right now is that our amygdala, as we talked about again in episode 37, we talk about it in reset your buttons, is on high alert and and it's its job, right, to keep us safe. So it's always scanning. Is it, you know, do I need to fight, flight, or freeze? And then you know, someone added in fun somewhere along the way. And and using the moment to, and I just read about this, so this isn't mine, but I loved it. Literally, like you can put your hands over your heart and say to yourself, I'm okay. It's safe right now. And the reason for that is you need to tell your amygdala it's okay. It's like soothing a child, right? Or soothing your pet when they're nervous. And so if you can start by just that moment, like I'm safe in this moment, and then proceed from there, what expectations aren't getting met, what sense of self, right? What um how to emphasize your core values, take stock, disarm. But it starts with I've got to slow that down because what we know more today than when I wrote the book is not only is the amygdala getting activated, but then the cortisol is just getting released, right? Because it's back to our fight, flight, or freeze. Right. And those are the you know, those too much of that becomes very dangerous in our in our systems.

SPEAKER_06 41:25

Yeah. So uh I guess, you know, to your point, regardless of what year it is and what's going on, we owe it to ourselves to be able to reset our own buttons. So since last we spoke, what have you done with your reset model? How have you shared that? Because it sounds like the need has not changed, the need is still there.

SPEAKER_07 41:49

Yeah, yeah. So we I think we were oh, I know we were doing this in 22. We were doing a lot of leadership training that included and incorporated the reset model. And now, and I also had even before that, it started a podcast. Nothing is as wonderful as your podcast. And and and I say that it in honoring of you, but also sincerely, like I was terrified. It was only on our website. I'm like, we cannot put it out in public because I was too afraid of what people might say about it, right? So I was very insecure about it. Since I'm surprised, I know, right? But yeah, I can stand in front of people and talk all day long, but like don't have me out there and have people be able to listen to a podcast. How silly, right? I can even interview on a podcast, but it there was just something, there was a there was a there was a button that needed to be pushed. And so what I found was we have found a studio that is run here in town, and the folks that run that studio, and it's called Focal Groove and Groove Studio, are fabulous people. And they are they've helped me to get over the edge, right? We talk about the edge, and and so they've they and they did it very gently, they didn't shove me, but you know, because fears I had were I'm gonna be, you want to videotape me? What are you kidding me?

SPEAKER_06 43:17

So I'm right there with you on that one, right?

The 90 Day Reset Sprint

SPEAKER_07 43:19

And so now we have a YouTube channel and we have four or five episodes up, and we get to listen to other people's career journeys almost. And and I get to listen to what did they recognize, what where were where were their expectations. So we apply the model to the some of those stories, and I'm looking to apply the model to some other other places as well. So there's the personal use of reset your buttons, and then there's the life planning use or career planning use. And so along those lines, we also launched a 90 day reset sprint. We just relaunched it. We're finishing it up. And the theme of it was should I stay or should I go? For people who are trying to decide if they stay in, you know, do I want to stay in my job? Do I want to leave? If I want to stay, what do I need to do? Right. So so what is a sprint exactly? So a sprint is a 90-day commitment working with me live as well as a community of people, a cohort. We limit it to about 12 people. And we walk through the reset model and then we walk through a version of uh of a smart goal model. So I've I've triggered I've tweaked the SMART goal model to align better with the reset model. And so there's education, there's classes with it, like what does it mean to reset your buttons? What does it mean to have measurable goals? And and through that, we're looking at what is the thing in my life that I want to reset. The other thing we offer with it, which is even more popular, and I'm thinking about just sometimes offering this as a standalone, is something we created called the pop-up productivity session. And those run anywhere from 90 minutes to two hours and 15 minutes. We use the Pomodoro method, but again, because it's a group of people working together to get something done, uh we take breaks every at the end of 25 minutes, we take a five-minute break and check in. And one of my favorite things that we've learned through it is, and you you may or may not have ever done this, but if you've gone to do something, and as you go to do it in your head, you hear, well, but before that, I need to do this. Yes. Yes, right? Like, like one of my favorites is you know, in in in our cohorts, we're gonna start, we're gonna work on something, but first I'm gonna get a cup of coffee, and then I go down in the kitchen to get the cup of coffee and I get the cream out of the refrigerator, and I see that oh, the vegetables are starting to go. So, well, maybe I'll start the vegetable soup. And before you know it, the thing that we needed to do or said we were gonna do that we really didn't want to do anyway, we let all the butt first get in front of it.

SPEAKER_06 46:14

Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, I am so guilty of that. Yeah, so it's part of its menoprange brain.

SPEAKER_07 46:20

Oh yeah, yeah, and there's that too. And then all the like I realize that I really do have to turn off my other windows when I'm working on emails because it's just too easy to have like, oh, something on LinkedIn, and then I go over to LinkedIn, and then from LinkedIn, something in there I have to read, and I never get back to finishing the email or you know, it's hours later. Right. So pop-up productivities are really fun and a critical part for our teams to be, and it's individuals. We do also we've done it with in-tack teams and organizations.

SPEAKER_06 46:58

I was gonna ask, is it open to the general public? Like, can they go to your website and sign up for a 90-day sprint if they want to?

Pomodoro Focus And Pop Up Productivity

SPEAKER_07 47:05

Yeah, yeah. So we like I said, we just finished this one. We're gonna look at the calendar and see we're looking at launching the next one in August so that people have the summer off. Um but I may run some pop-up productivities or just you know, some 30-day challenges between now and August. But our August one will start the end of August and run August, September, October, and then the first two weeks of November. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 47:29

And then you one thing you mentioned, and uh I I know what it is, but I'm not sure everybody else does. You mentioned the Pomodoro method. Can you explain that? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_07 47:41

So the the story I read about how did it get why is it called the Pomodoro method, is because the gentleman who created it was a college student and he was trying to work on his thesis or something, and then he had to get turned in. And he recognized he probably had his own butt first. I don't think he called it that, but he would get distracted. So he would set a timer and work 25-minute segments and take a five to 15 minute break, or he'd work an hour. And in the idea is that you are working a concentrated set of time, you take a break and then you come back to it and turn everything else off. That's really critical, is that you have to turn the other pieces off. But the reason it's called Pomodoro, and you'll appreciate this, this is kind of fun, is his timer was a little pomodoro tomato, like a shape like a pomodoro tomato, because he was in Italy and he was that's what he had for his timer, and so he called it the Pomodoro method.

Workplace Overwhelm Budgets And Uncertainty

SPEAKER_06 48:47

Oh, that's so funny. That's so funny. So it sounds like, yeah, maybe you haven't expanded, but maybe you're offering with more frequency using reset. I'm so excited that you've you've got your podcast revamped and you now you've beaten me, you're in video. I'm still I'm still in audio. I think that's fantastic. And then running some of these programs, you know, outside of your team clients that that you have. Yeah. Is is great. Are you finding anything new about what folks are struggling with right now and how the reset model can help them navigate some of the the current day challenges?

SPEAKER_07 49:35

I think it's the overwhelm. So what's different between four years ago and coming out of the pandemic, that was anxiety, that was nervousness, that was anxiousness, it was uh, you know, what's happening, what's next, how do I stay healthy, how do I keep my family healthy? We knew what the problems were that we needed to put our attention on. And so when I talk about our current state of the headwinds, there's there's so much happening that we are in a in a freeze state when we talk about fight, flight, or freeze, right? We're in a freeze state. So if I'm working in an organization, I don't know if I should leave or not right now or stay within the security of it. But in a if I stay in the security of my job, how secure am I actually? Right?

SPEAKER_05 50:25

Right.

SPEAKER_07 50:26

Because again, budgets are frozen, AI is here, pick up pick an issue. There's all kinds of challenges that that the people that are trying to even make decisions can't make right now because we're in this place of uncertainty, which brings overwhelm. So, what the overwhelm looks like is we need to do more with less. So, for example, we I was just on a call recently for our industry, training budgets are being cut, long-term projects are not being funded the way they used to be. We're moving back to what's called one and done, right? And people are just being asked because they also don't have time to commit to a long-term leadership program. They can grab two hours and say, okay, let's let's you know, let's teach them something in those two hours, which is fine, except you and I both know the retention on that is just not going to be there if you can't continue to support it as you go forward.

SPEAKER_06 51:29

Yeah, you don't you don't learn to execute in class, you learn concepts and theories, then you go back on the job and practice and and experience is the teacher.

SPEAKER_07 51:40

There you go. That you said it beautifully. I couldn't have said it. I truly I could not have said it as eloquently as you just did. That's it.

SPEAKER_06 51:47

That's I I have screamed it from the mountaintops.

SPEAKER_07 51:50

Yeah, yeah. But it and and the challenge is you and I both know that, and and those who are controlling the budgets know it as well. But you only have so much money to do so many things with sometimes. And the bottom line is, and I've said this recently a few times, and people get a little taken aback by it, but businesses are in business to make money. Right. I mean, if they don't make money, they can't pay their employees, they can't have training, they can't offer benefits, they can't. So at the end of the day, we as employees, as vendors, as strategic partners, our job is to help the business to make money. And I know that's gonna open up a lot of there's that statement alone just pushed a lot of buttons for some people who are listening, right? Including my own. But at the end of the day, that's that truly is the bottom line. If the company or the organization is not profitable, or if they're nonprofit but they're meeting their their obligations, then we we can't keep the doors open. Right. And and so you know, aside from salaries and who's getting paid more and who's getting paid less, I completely get it. I understand I'm this is not a political statement. It's just this is the state of where we're at right now.

SPEAKER_06 53:15

Right. So and all the all the more reason why the work that you do with the productivity sprints, the should I stay or should I go 90-day sprint, and again, reinforcing the reset your buttons model is so important for folks professional relationships, personal relationships, and just to give themselves peace of mind and be able to be their safe harbor within a sea of of uh of chaos. Yeah, yeah. It's just a different type of chaos. We're not putting COVID to the name anymore.

SPEAKER_07 53:54

Right, it's it's the uncertainty. Yeah, really, because when we put the name COVID, like, oh, this is what's happening, right? Once you can name it, you put a plan to resolve it to solve the problem.

SPEAKER_06 54:07

Yeah, and this is a little nebulous. Exactly, exactly. Yeah, well, Mary Elizabeth, thank you so much for the important work that you continue to do with your reset your buttons model and helping folks, you know, helping to enrich folks' lives as they navigate, you know, the choppy waters. Where can folks find you to learn more about your sprints and and some of the other things that you're offering? So check out your podcast.

SPEAKER_07 54:38

Yeah, thank you. So we have our star resources website, which is starresources.net. And then we also have uh resetyourbuttons.com website and our YouTube channel that has the podcast in both video and well, it's pushed out. This is my technology knowledge, so limited. It's being pushed out on the through the podcast channels, so it should be on your favorite podcast channel. And then if you want to watch the video or listen to it through YouTube, it's Star Resources, all lowercase, all one one long words, S-T-A-R-R-E-S-O-U-R-C-E-S. And they are the Reset Your Buttons podcasts.

SPEAKER_06 55:27

Okay. I will make sure those links are in the show description for anybody that wants to revisit, or if they're listening to this for the first time, can check out your website, check out your tools. I'll make sure there's a link to the book because without the book and the whole model itself, you know, we we've got nothing to work with. So I'll make sure there's a link for that as well.

SPEAKER_07 55:51

Thank you, Helen. I appreciate it. I I if I could just say one more thing that came to me while we were talking is that the reason the model, the method, and the mindset works is because it can help you individually. Individually, we can help organizationally or team or relationally. That's why it's called create relationships that work. But what I thought about with what you were just saying a few minutes ago is again, in in this state of uncertainty and overwhelm, the only thing you can control is how you respond when a button is pushed. Exactly.

SPEAKER_06 56:27

Exactly. And on that note, thank you so much for your time this morning. I really appreciate it and appreciate it, and I love catching up with you.

SPEAKER_07 56:38

Thank you for inviting me back.

SPEAKER_06 56:44

I still can't believe it's been four years since we last met these folks. Time has flown. So much exciting stuff going on for them, and they continue to follow their passions, which are taking them on incredible journeys, new experiences, and expanding their capacities. My little nugget of inspiration from Rua, the youngest assorted conversations guest, is to never stop networking. She could seriously teach a class on it. Her networking skills have led her to some pretty incredible encounters and the beginning of some really great relationships. Josh O'Connell's inspiration for me is not being afraid to take a leap of faith. Leaving a job, moving cross-country, all in the name of following his love of writing about all things casino, has turned into a magnificent blend of passion and the benefit of all his previous work skills, putting him on the cutting edge with one of the top YouTube creators and casino gaming influencers. And then there's Mary Elizabeth Murphy and her work continuing to make the reset model more accessible through new channels so we can develop ourselves into being our calmest oasis in the midst of the chaos harbor that life can sometimes be. Jump down to the show notes for links to their original episodes as well as new or updated links that they mentioned in their little update. And while you're there, don't forget to connect with me. All my socials are linked there as well. As always, thanks for listening, and I'll see you in two weeks.