{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":0.11,"endTime":3.14,"body":"I've been in business for almost 15 years"},{"startTime":0.11,"endTime":3.14,"body":"now."},{"startTime":3.14,"endTime":9.09,"body":"And with that longevity comes a lot of"},{"startTime":3.14,"endTime":9.09,"body":"privilege, right?"},{"startTime":9.09,"endTime":16.16,"body":"I feel like I wake up knowing what I'm"},{"startTime":9.09,"endTime":16.16,"body":"doing in my photography business."},{"startTime":16.16,"endTime":17.49,"body":"I know what my goals are."},{"startTime":17.49,"endTime":20.59,"body":"I have a clear sense of what the path to"},{"startTime":17.49,"endTime":20.59,"body":"get there is."},{"startTime":20.59,"endTime":26.55,"body":"I feel confident when someone asks me"},{"startTime":20.59,"endTime":26.55,"body":"about the work that I do or asks me about"},{"startTime":26.55,"endTime":27.95,"body":"my pricing."},{"startTime":28.25,"endTime":28.974,"body":"I..."},{"startTime":28.974,"endTime":36.254,"body":"don't feel that sort of fear or dread when"},{"startTime":28.974,"endTime":36.254,"body":"I'm getting ready for a session because I"},{"startTime":36.254,"endTime":39.854,"body":"feel confident that I'm going to be able"},{"startTime":36.254,"endTime":39.854,"body":"to get the job done, like all the"},{"startTime":39.854,"endTime":40.254,"body":"different things."},{"startTime":40.254,"endTime":46.534,"body":"There's many, many ways in which longevity"},{"startTime":40.254,"endTime":46.534,"body":"gives you a leg up."},{"startTime":46.534,"endTime":52.834,"body":"But for a long time, when I'm talking to"},{"startTime":46.534,"endTime":52.834,"body":"one of my students or just another"},{"startTime":52.834,"endTime":55.662,"body":"photographer who hasn't been in business"},{"startTime":52.834,"endTime":55.662,"body":"for as long,"},{"startTime":55.662,"endTime":60.102,"body":"And they say something along the lines of"},{"startTime":55.662,"endTime":60.102,"body":"like, Oh, I can't wait until I'm there or,"},{"startTime":60.102,"endTime":63.822,"body":"uh, you know, I think that's just easier"},{"startTime":60.102,"endTime":63.822,"body":"for you because you're, you've been around"},{"startTime":63.822,"endTime":65.382,"body":"the block."},{"startTime":65.382,"endTime":68.262,"body":"And my response is always the same."},{"startTime":68.622,"endTime":70.182,"body":"Yes, no doubt."},{"startTime":70.182,"endTime":77.962,"body":"It's great to have like some of the bumps"},{"startTime":70.182,"endTime":77.962,"body":"behind you, but there are also some real"},{"startTime":77.962,"endTime":83.902,"body":"benefits to being newer in your business,"},{"startTime":77.962,"endTime":83.902,"body":"to being a newer photographer, right?"},{"startTime":83.902,"endTime":85.318,"body":"Like I."},{"startTime":85.966,"endTime":92.346,"body":"I mean, I've never been someone to try"},{"startTime":85.966,"endTime":92.346,"body":"hard drugs or anything, but people talk"},{"startTime":92.346,"endTime":97.366,"body":"about like that initial high and it's so"},{"startTime":92.346,"endTime":97.366,"body":"amazing and you spend the rest of your"},{"startTime":97.366,"endTime":100.546,"body":"addiction chasing that particular high."},{"startTime":100.546,"endTime":104.046,"body":"And I feel that way about photography."},{"startTime":104.046,"endTime":111.854,"body":"Like I was, I don't even know the word for"},{"startTime":104.046,"endTime":111.854,"body":"it, obsessed, enamored, infatuated with."},{"startTime":111.854,"endTime":116.434,"body":"you know, the images that I started to"},{"startTime":111.854,"endTime":116.434,"body":"realize that I could make pretty early on,"},{"startTime":116.434,"endTime":118.434,"body":"like well before I started my business."},{"startTime":118.434,"endTime":120.994,"body":"And it gave me life."},{"startTime":120.994,"endTime":122.254,"body":"I mean, it gave me energy."},{"startTime":122.254,"endTime":125.954,"body":"I would take my camera everywhere, right?"},{"startTime":125.954,"endTime":128.704,"body":"I, I thought about almost nothing else."},{"startTime":128.704,"endTime":133.994,"body":"I mean, I was also a new mom at the time,"},{"startTime":128.704,"endTime":133.994,"body":"so I had plenty to think about, but, but"},{"startTime":133.994,"endTime":139.438,"body":"that sort of excitement has certainly,"},{"startTime":139.438,"endTime":143.758,"body":"I get it, I get bits and pieces of it from"},{"startTime":139.438,"endTime":143.758,"body":"time to time, but you know, photography"},{"startTime":143.758,"endTime":150.478,"body":"over the years has gone from being a"},{"startTime":143.758,"endTime":150.478,"body":"passion and an obsession and a hobby to"},{"startTime":150.478,"endTime":155.358,"body":"being a new business to now being like"},{"startTime":150.478,"endTime":155.358,"body":"kind of a job, right?"},{"startTime":155.358,"endTime":156.398,"body":"And I love my job."},{"startTime":156.398,"endTime":157.088,"body":"Don't get me wrong."},{"startTime":157.088,"endTime":159.958,"body":"I'm not saying that it's not, you know, it"},{"startTime":157.088,"endTime":159.958,"body":"doesn't light me up."},{"startTime":159.958,"endTime":163.086,"body":"It really does, but it has changed."},{"startTime":163.086,"endTime":168.946,"body":"And as Riley and I are celebrating our one"},{"startTime":163.086,"endTime":168.946,"body":"year anniversary, right around the time"},{"startTime":168.946,"endTime":170.246,"body":"that I'm recording this."},{"startTime":170.246,"endTime":175.766,"body":"And so I'm doing a lot of thinking about"},{"startTime":170.246,"endTime":175.766,"body":"kind of, you know, relationships over"},{"startTime":175.766,"endTime":176.706,"body":"time."},{"startTime":176.706,"endTime":182.706,"body":"And I read an article that somebody sent"},{"startTime":176.706,"endTime":182.706,"body":"me about the four stages of romantic"},{"startTime":182.706,"endTime":183.726,"body":"relationships."},{"startTime":183.726,"endTime":189.55,"body":"And it just like hit me like a hammer in"},{"startTime":183.726,"endTime":189.55,"body":"the forehead that are."},{"startTime":189.55,"endTime":195.89,"body":"relationships with our art, with"},{"startTime":189.55,"endTime":195.89,"body":"photography, are kind of similar in a lot"},{"startTime":195.89,"endTime":201.47,"body":"of ways, pretty strikingly similar to the"},{"startTime":195.89,"endTime":201.47,"body":"romantic relationships that we have and"},{"startTime":201.47,"endTime":204.15,"body":"sort of those phases of the relationships."},{"startTime":204.15,"endTime":208.83,"body":"And I think that it's worth kind of"},{"startTime":204.15,"endTime":208.83,"body":"talking about these comparisons, because I"},{"startTime":208.83,"endTime":212.51,"body":"think that each have lessons to teach the"},{"startTime":208.83,"endTime":212.51,"body":"other, right?"},{"startTime":212.51,"endTime":219.438,"body":"If you are newer in one and longer in"},{"startTime":212.51,"endTime":219.438,"body":"another or vice versa, I think that that's"},{"startTime":219.438,"endTime":223.278,"body":"there are some interesting kind of"},{"startTime":219.438,"endTime":223.278,"body":"comparisons and insights because just like"},{"startTime":223.278,"endTime":230.338,"body":"in relationships, each stage of your"},{"startTime":223.278,"endTime":230.338,"body":"creative business is going to have pros"},{"startTime":230.338,"endTime":232.738,"body":"and cons like we were just talking about."},{"startTime":232.738,"endTime":237.138,"body":"And each stage is going to have some sort"},{"startTime":232.738,"endTime":237.138,"body":"of issues to watch out for."},{"startTime":237.178,"endTime":242.038,"body":"I've really enjoyed thinking about this"},{"startTime":237.178,"endTime":242.038,"body":"and I figured maybe you might enjoy it as"},{"startTime":242.038,"endTime":242.898,"body":"well."},{"startTime":242.898,"endTime":245.422,"body":"Welcome to This Can't Be That Hard."},{"startTime":245.422,"endTime":249.942,"body":"My name is Annamie Tonkin and I help"},{"startTime":245.422,"endTime":249.942,"body":"photographers run profitable, sustainable"},{"startTime":249.942,"endTime":251.982,"body":"businesses that they love."},{"startTime":252.342,"endTime":257.242,"body":"Each week on the podcast, I cover simple,"},{"startTime":252.342,"endTime":257.242,"body":"actionable strategies and systems that"},{"startTime":257.242,"endTime":261.762,"body":"photographers at every level of experience"},{"startTime":257.242,"endTime":261.762,"body":"can use to earn more money in a more"},{"startTime":261.762,"endTime":263.362,"body":"sustainable way."},{"startTime":263.442,"endTime":266.762,"body":"Running a photography business doesn't"},{"startTime":263.442,"endTime":266.762,"body":"have to be that hard."},{"startTime":266.762,"endTime":269.574,"body":"You can do it and I can show you how."},{"startTime":272.718,"endTime":277.568,"body":"Okay, so let's talk about the four stages"},{"startTime":272.718,"endTime":277.568,"body":"of romantic love."},{"startTime":277.568,"endTime":280.938,"body":"And if you Google this, you know, you can"},{"startTime":277.568,"endTime":280.938,"body":"find them called different things."},{"startTime":280.938,"endTime":284.578,"body":"And, you know, I don't know that there's"},{"startTime":280.938,"endTime":284.578,"body":"any real scientific basis for this, but"},{"startTime":284.578,"endTime":287.678,"body":"it, you know, that has borne out in my own"},{"startTime":284.578,"endTime":287.678,"body":"experience."},{"startTime":287.678,"endTime":290.538,"body":"And I've certainly seen lots of other"},{"startTime":287.678,"endTime":290.538,"body":"people go through this."},{"startTime":290.718,"endTime":293.458,"body":"And that first stage is kind of the"},{"startTime":290.718,"endTime":293.458,"body":"obvious one."},{"startTime":293.458,"endTime":295.698,"body":"And that's the spark, right?"},{"startTime":295.698,"endTime":300.718,"body":"So this is when in a romantic"},{"startTime":295.698,"endTime":300.718,"body":"relationship, you..."},{"startTime":300.718,"endTime":306.478,"body":"You meet somebody, you fall for them, and"},{"startTime":300.718,"endTime":306.478,"body":"you just become completely enmeshed,"},{"startTime":306.478,"endTime":306.808,"body":"right?"},{"startTime":306.808,"endTime":309.418,"body":"Everything feels right when you're"},{"startTime":306.808,"endTime":309.418,"body":"together."},{"startTime":309.418,"endTime":311.638,"body":"Everything feels wrong when you're not."},{"startTime":311.638,"endTime":316.618,"body":"You kind of want to talk about that person"},{"startTime":311.638,"endTime":316.618,"body":"and think about that person and touch that"},{"startTime":316.618,"endTime":317.818,"body":"person all the time."},{"startTime":317.818,"endTime":323.018,"body":"And I feel like that is very much, well,"},{"startTime":317.818,"endTime":323.018,"body":"it was the way it was for me when I first"},{"startTime":323.018,"endTime":324.498,"body":"got into photography."},{"startTime":324.498,"endTime":326.918,"body":"It was like that spark ignited."},{"startTime":326.918,"endTime":328.918,"body":"And again, you know, I mentioned this"},{"startTime":326.918,"endTime":328.918,"body":"before."},{"startTime":328.918,"endTime":329.71,"body":"It's like I went."},{"startTime":329.71,"endTime":330.9,"body":"everywhere with my camera."},{"startTime":330.9,"endTime":332.01,"body":"I was totally obsessed."},{"startTime":332.01,"endTime":338.33,"body":"I would be so tired at the end of the"},{"startTime":332.01,"endTime":338.33,"body":"night and still like, I'm just gonna go,"},{"startTime":338.33,"endTime":341.73,"body":"I'm just gonna go look at that one photo"},{"startTime":338.33,"endTime":341.73,"body":"on the computer one more time."},{"startTime":341.73,"endTime":343.67,"body":"I just wanna, I wanna see, I wanna check"},{"startTime":341.73,"endTime":343.67,"body":"the settings."},{"startTime":343.67,"endTime":345.09,"body":"I wanna, whatever."},{"startTime":345.09,"endTime":346.13,"body":"It was all I read about."},{"startTime":346.13,"endTime":350.92,"body":"It was probably exhausting to the people"},{"startTime":346.13,"endTime":350.92,"body":"around me to hear me talk about it."},{"startTime":350.92,"endTime":354.15,"body":"And like when I was on trips, you know,"},{"startTime":350.92,"endTime":354.15,"body":"oh, can you pull the car over?"},{"startTime":354.15,"endTime":356.478,"body":"Can you, I mean, I'm sure that you guys"},{"startTime":354.15,"endTime":356.478,"body":"can relate."},{"startTime":356.942,"endTime":360.642,"body":"It's very much the same as when you are in"},{"startTime":356.942,"endTime":360.642,"body":"a new relationship."},{"startTime":360.642,"endTime":361.802,"body":"You're intolerable."},{"startTime":361.802,"endTime":366.882,"body":"And for all the world, you don't care."},{"startTime":366.882,"endTime":370.462,"body":"Like you may be intolerable to other"},{"startTime":366.882,"endTime":370.462,"body":"people, but it doesn't matter because you"},{"startTime":370.462,"endTime":372.222,"body":"are just in it and you love it."},{"startTime":372.222,"endTime":373.781,"body":"And it's amazing."},{"startTime":373.842,"endTime":378.382,"body":"And then you get to stage two, which we"},{"startTime":373.842,"endTime":378.382,"body":"can call the reality check."},{"startTime":378.382,"endTime":384.718,"body":"So in a romantic relationship, you know,"},{"startTime":378.382,"endTime":384.718,"body":"maybe you've moved in together or."},{"startTime":384.718,"endTime":388.498,"body":"You're just, uh, you've been together long"},{"startTime":384.718,"endTime":388.498,"body":"enough that the novelty is starting to"},{"startTime":388.498,"endTime":395.338,"body":"wear off and you start, it's not that you"},{"startTime":388.498,"endTime":395.338,"body":"are not still super into this person, but"},{"startTime":395.338,"endTime":397.118,"body":"the reality starts to set in."},{"startTime":397.118,"endTime":397.408,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":397.408,"endTime":402.198,"body":"So you didn't all of a sudden you notice"},{"startTime":397.408,"endTime":402.198,"body":"that this person leaves their dirty socks"},{"startTime":402.198,"endTime":403.168,"body":"all over the place."},{"startTime":403.168,"endTime":406.998,"body":"You know, they're not, they don't clean up"},{"startTime":403.168,"endTime":406.998,"body":"after themselves and the around the sink"},{"startTime":406.998,"endTime":408.658,"body":"or whatever the case may be."},{"startTime":408.658,"endTime":412.718,"body":"And unlike when you're"},{"startTime":412.718,"endTime":417.658,"body":"in that first new phase and you're, you"},{"startTime":412.718,"endTime":417.658,"body":"know, just spending bits and pieces of"},{"startTime":417.658,"endTime":418.328,"body":"time together."},{"startTime":418.328,"endTime":422.978,"body":"Now you're like, you're kind of in it, in"},{"startTime":418.328,"endTime":422.978,"body":"it for, for the good and for the bad."},{"startTime":422.978,"endTime":425.378,"body":"And it starts to feel serious."},{"startTime":425.378,"endTime":429.578,"body":"And that seriousness is exciting because"},{"startTime":425.378,"endTime":429.578,"body":"it's like, Ooh, we're moving into this"},{"startTime":429.578,"endTime":432.638,"body":"like next phase of our relationship,"},{"startTime":429.578,"endTime":432.638,"body":"whatever."},{"startTime":432.638,"endTime":437.178,"body":"But it also feels kind of serious with a"},{"startTime":432.638,"endTime":437.178,"body":"capital S like, huh, things are getting"},{"startTime":437.178,"endTime":438.518,"body":"serious."},{"startTime":438.758,"endTime":442.094,"body":"And some days feel easier than others, but"},{"startTime":442.094,"endTime":446.914,"body":"Again, you start to kind of take notice of"},{"startTime":442.094,"endTime":446.914,"body":"the things that maybe you don't love, get"},{"startTime":446.914,"endTime":448.314,"body":"annoyed by things."},{"startTime":448.314,"endTime":452.914,"body":"And every once in a while you get that"},{"startTime":448.314,"endTime":452.914,"body":"little like thing in the back of your head"},{"startTime":452.914,"endTime":456.094,"body":"that says, you know, are you getting ahead"},{"startTime":452.914,"endTime":456.094,"body":"of yourself here?"},{"startTime":456.094,"endTime":456.894,"body":"Are you over committing?"},{"startTime":456.894,"endTime":458.274,"body":"Who is this person?"},{"startTime":458.274,"endTime":463.594,"body":"What is this thing that you've done in"},{"startTime":458.274,"endTime":463.594,"body":"relationships?"},{"startTime":463.734,"endTime":470.434,"body":"They then talk about how you hit some kind"},{"startTime":463.734,"endTime":470.434,"body":"of cycle where you're in kind of reality"},{"startTime":470.434,"endTime":471.566,"body":"check land."},{"startTime":471.566,"endTime":476.726,"body":"and then in hopefully not all the time,"},{"startTime":471.566,"endTime":476.726,"body":"but bits and pieces of crisis."},{"startTime":476.726,"endTime":482.526,"body":"So by the time you hit the crisis stage in"},{"startTime":476.726,"endTime":482.526,"body":"a relationship, like the rose colored"},{"startTime":482.526,"endTime":484.626,"body":"glasses are long gone."},{"startTime":484.626,"endTime":490.466,"body":"And oftentimes you have this true sort of"},{"startTime":484.626,"endTime":490.466,"body":"nostalgia or sense of loss around the"},{"startTime":490.466,"endTime":493.106,"body":"early relationship that you had."},{"startTime":493.106,"endTime":496.016,"body":"Sometimes you're like, I don't even know"},{"startTime":493.106,"endTime":496.016,"body":"what I was thinking."},{"startTime":496.016,"endTime":498.542,"body":"Like this, this is a totally different"},{"startTime":496.016,"endTime":498.542,"body":"person."},{"startTime":498.542,"endTime":501.712,"body":"And this is when things, you know,"},{"startTime":498.542,"endTime":501.712,"body":"resentments start to build up."},{"startTime":501.712,"endTime":504.262,"body":"This is when people start couples therapy."},{"startTime":504.262,"endTime":508.102,"body":"They are questioning, like, did we make"},{"startTime":504.262,"endTime":508.102,"body":"some enormous mistake?"},{"startTime":508.102,"endTime":513.922,"body":"And this stage is very much the like kind"},{"startTime":508.102,"endTime":513.922,"body":"of the crux, right?"},{"startTime":513.922,"endTime":518.412,"body":"It's the most difficult and it's where a"},{"startTime":513.922,"endTime":518.412,"body":"lot of people face a fork in the road."},{"startTime":518.412,"endTime":519.572,"body":"Like, do we stay together?"},{"startTime":519.572,"endTime":521.002,"body":"Do we separate?"},{"startTime":521.002,"endTime":525.352,"body":"And sometimes that separation happens at"},{"startTime":521.002,"endTime":525.352,"body":"this, but sometimes it doesn't."},{"startTime":525.352,"endTime":527.214,"body":"And, you know, you kind of"},{"startTime":527.214,"endTime":531.223,"body":"push through the crisis and maybe you go"},{"startTime":527.214,"endTime":531.223,"body":"back a little bit into that, you know,"},{"startTime":531.223,"endTime":533.114,"body":"earlier phase, the reality check phase."},{"startTime":533.114,"endTime":538.574,"body":"I don't think that these are completely"},{"startTime":533.114,"endTime":538.574,"body":"linear, but there is this messy middle,"},{"startTime":538.574,"endTime":542.694,"body":"like there is with so many things in life"},{"startTime":538.574,"endTime":542.694,"body":"where you kind of go back and forth"},{"startTime":542.694,"endTime":544.734,"body":"between like, yeah, I think this is"},{"startTime":542.694,"endTime":544.734,"body":"working."},{"startTime":544.734,"endTime":547.554,"body":"And like, I don't think this is working."},{"startTime":547.954,"endTime":551.894,"body":"And you know, it is, that's just the"},{"startTime":547.954,"endTime":551.894,"body":"reality."},{"startTime":552.594,"endTime":556.078,"body":"And then if you do make it through,"},{"startTime":556.078,"endTime":561.718,"body":"that messy middle, you reach the fourth"},{"startTime":556.078,"endTime":561.718,"body":"stage, which was called a whole bunch of"},{"startTime":561.718,"endTime":565.858,"body":"different things, maturity, deep"},{"startTime":561.718,"endTime":565.858,"body":"attachment."},{"startTime":566.158,"endTime":572.118,"body":"Basically, after the third stage resolves"},{"startTime":566.158,"endTime":572.118,"body":"one way or the other, you're either out or"},{"startTime":572.118,"endTime":573.398,"body":"you've made it through."},{"startTime":573.398,"endTime":577.898,"body":"And if you make it through, you reach a"},{"startTime":573.398,"endTime":577.898,"body":"stage of relative stability."},{"startTime":577.898,"endTime":582.078,"body":"So you're still, of course, going to have"},{"startTime":577.898,"endTime":582.078,"body":"days that are easier and days that are"},{"startTime":582.078,"endTime":583.018,"body":"harder."},{"startTime":583.406,"endTime":589.296,"body":"but you start to be able to anticipate the"},{"startTime":583.406,"endTime":589.296,"body":"landscape a little bit better."},{"startTime":589.296,"endTime":594.646,"body":"You know where the problem spots are, you"},{"startTime":589.296,"endTime":594.646,"body":"get better at either addressing those or"},{"startTime":594.646,"endTime":596.826,"body":"kind of sidestepping them a little bit."},{"startTime":596.826,"endTime":599.226,"body":"And you also know where your sweet spots"},{"startTime":596.826,"endTime":599.226,"body":"are."},{"startTime":599.226,"endTime":602.296,"body":"You have found the things that are worth"},{"startTime":599.226,"endTime":602.296,"body":"coming back to."},{"startTime":602.296,"endTime":608.086,"body":"If you've made it to this stage in a"},{"startTime":602.296,"endTime":608.086,"body":"healthy relationship, you have found that"},{"startTime":608.086,"endTime":612.198,"body":"balance and you like the person as well as"},{"startTime":608.086,"endTime":612.198,"body":"love that person, right?"},{"startTime":612.366,"endTime":615.346,"body":"You no longer need to spend every single"},{"startTime":612.366,"endTime":615.346,"body":"minute together."},{"startTime":615.346,"endTime":618.786,"body":"And that's not because you don't love each"},{"startTime":615.346,"endTime":618.786,"body":"other, but because honestly, at this"},{"startTime":618.786,"endTime":622.466,"body":"point, you trust each other and yourselves"},{"startTime":618.786,"endTime":622.466,"body":"more."},{"startTime":622.466,"endTime":626.226,"body":"And you know that breathing room in a"},{"startTime":622.466,"endTime":626.226,"body":"relationship can be a good thing and"},{"startTime":626.226,"endTime":630.926,"body":"establishing, you know, other things that"},{"startTime":626.226,"endTime":630.926,"body":"you're into and all that sort of stuff."},{"startTime":631.006,"endTime":638.006,"body":"And the fact of the matter is that over"},{"startTime":631.006,"endTime":638.006,"body":"time, almost inevitably, your feelings and"},{"startTime":638.006,"endTime":640.452,"body":"your hopes and your expectations,"},{"startTime":641.07,"endTime":642.75,"body":"are going to change."},{"startTime":642.75,"endTime":647.35,"body":"They're going to be different in the"},{"startTime":642.75,"endTime":647.35,"body":"fourth stage than they were in the first"},{"startTime":647.35,"endTime":648.75,"body":"stage or even the second stage."},{"startTime":648.75,"endTime":652.01,"body":"And that's not always for the worse,"},{"startTime":648.75,"endTime":652.01,"body":"right?"},{"startTime":652.01,"endTime":656.69,"body":"In many ways, sometimes those things"},{"startTime":652.01,"endTime":656.69,"body":"become better."},{"startTime":656.89,"endTime":664.53,"body":"But regardless, they will be more grounded"},{"startTime":656.89,"endTime":664.53,"body":"in reality because you actually know that"},{"startTime":664.53,"endTime":666.13,"body":"person you have taken off."},{"startTime":666.13,"endTime":669.46,"body":"There's no, again, the rose colored"},{"startTime":666.13,"endTime":669.46,"body":"glasses are gone."},{"startTime":669.486,"endTime":673.326,"body":"You know and love that person for who they"},{"startTime":669.486,"endTime":673.326,"body":"really are, the good things and the bad"},{"startTime":673.326,"endTime":673.966,"body":"things."},{"startTime":673.966,"endTime":679.626,"body":"And so in knowing that you are, there's"},{"startTime":673.966,"endTime":679.626,"body":"less tumultuousness."},{"startTime":679.626,"endTime":683.666,"body":"You're less likely to get disappointed or"},{"startTime":679.626,"endTime":683.666,"body":"angry or hurt."},{"startTime":684.126,"endTime":686.856,"body":"And the thing to remember, I'm going to"},{"startTime":684.126,"endTime":686.856,"body":"bring this back to photography."},{"startTime":686.856,"endTime":691.466,"body":"The thing to remember is that each of"},{"startTime":686.856,"endTime":691.466,"body":"these phases has its place."},{"startTime":691.466,"endTime":697.446,"body":"There are things to enjoy in each phase"},{"startTime":691.466,"endTime":697.446,"body":"and there are things to watch out for."},{"startTime":697.446,"endTime":698.926,"body":"So just like love,"},{"startTime":698.926,"endTime":705.186,"body":"The rose colored glasses that you put on"},{"startTime":698.926,"endTime":705.186,"body":"and that you have to put on honestly, in"},{"startTime":705.186,"endTime":708.646,"body":"order to start a business can be"},{"startTime":705.186,"endTime":708.646,"body":"intoxicating."},{"startTime":708.646,"endTime":714.846,"body":"And they are the way that we convince"},{"startTime":708.646,"endTime":714.846,"body":"ourselves that the amount of work that's"},{"startTime":714.846,"endTime":718.486,"body":"required to start a business, to put"},{"startTime":714.846,"endTime":718.486,"body":"yourself out on a limb, to market"},{"startTime":718.486,"endTime":721.586,"body":"yourself, to learn all this stuff about"},{"startTime":718.486,"endTime":721.586,"body":"SEO and all the different things that you"},{"startTime":721.586,"endTime":722.566,"body":"have to learn."},{"startTime":722.566,"endTime":725.846,"body":"That's how we convince ourselves that it's"},{"startTime":722.566,"endTime":725.846,"body":"worth it because we love this thing so"},{"startTime":725.846,"endTime":726.346,"body":"much."},{"startTime":726.346,"endTime":729.254,"body":"And that is not a bad thing."},{"startTime":729.806,"endTime":736.666,"body":"But if you expect naively that everything"},{"startTime":729.806,"endTime":736.666,"body":"is going to be easy all the time, that the"},{"startTime":736.666,"endTime":743.006,"body":"rose colored glasses are reality, you're"},{"startTime":736.666,"endTime":743.006,"body":"probably in for a rough ride because as"},{"startTime":743.006,"endTime":750.466,"body":"those challenges arise and at times get"},{"startTime":743.006,"endTime":750.466,"body":"really intense, you know, you're going to"},{"startTime":750.466,"endTime":751.286,"body":"question yourself."},{"startTime":751.286,"endTime":753.296,"body":"You're going to question your plan."},{"startTime":753.296,"endTime":756.826,"body":"You're probably going to have moments of"},{"startTime":753.296,"endTime":756.826,"body":"like total despair."},{"startTime":756.826,"endTime":759.494,"body":"And, you know, I just think I'm going to"},{"startTime":756.826,"endTime":759.494,"body":"quit."},{"startTime":760.174,"endTime":766.194,"body":"And the thing that's important to know and"},{"startTime":760.174,"endTime":766.194,"body":"the thing that I find reassuring about"},{"startTime":766.194,"endTime":771.314,"body":"reading things like the four stages of a"},{"startTime":766.194,"endTime":771.314,"body":"romantic relationship is like there is a"},{"startTime":771.314,"endTime":772.204,"body":"process here."},{"startTime":772.204,"endTime":780.214,"body":"And when it's really hard, it can be"},{"startTime":772.204,"endTime":780.214,"body":"really comforting to know that it nothing,"},{"startTime":780.214,"endTime":785.274,"body":"you know, that that that process has been"},{"startTime":780.214,"endTime":785.274,"body":"gone through a million times and will, you"},{"startTime":785.274,"endTime":787.674,"body":"know, you're not the first and you're not"},{"startTime":785.274,"endTime":787.674,"body":"the last."},{"startTime":787.734,"endTime":789.518,"body":"And I know that I talk."},{"startTime":789.518,"endTime":794.178,"body":"a fair amount about the importance of"},{"startTime":789.518,"endTime":794.178,"body":"building your photography community,"},{"startTime":794.178,"endTime":794.958,"body":"right?"},{"startTime":794.958,"endTime":798.638,"body":"Your entrepreneurial community, your"},{"startTime":794.958,"endTime":798.638,"body":"photography community."},{"startTime":799.058,"endTime":803.378,"body":"This business, like a lot of small"},{"startTime":799.058,"endTime":803.378,"body":"businesses, but in particular, because we"},{"startTime":803.378,"endTime":807.688,"body":"are often operating independently, can be"},{"startTime":803.378,"endTime":807.688,"body":"really lonely."},{"startTime":807.688,"endTime":813.818,"body":"And when things are hard, this is where"},{"startTime":807.688,"endTime":813.818,"body":"it's the most important to have that"},{"startTime":813.818,"endTime":814.268,"body":"community."},{"startTime":814.268,"endTime":815.598,"body":"It's kind of like..."},{"startTime":815.598,"endTime":818.938,"body":"You know, when you're having a hard time"},{"startTime":815.598,"endTime":818.938,"body":"in a relationship, when you're you and"},{"startTime":818.938,"endTime":823.318,"body":"your partner are fighting, it's really"},{"startTime":818.938,"endTime":823.318,"body":"important to have a friend or at least,"},{"startTime":823.318,"endTime":829.618,"body":"you know, a therapist, a professional that"},{"startTime":823.318,"endTime":829.618,"body":"you can talk to and sort of help work"},{"startTime":829.618,"endTime":831.018,"body":"through those things."},{"startTime":831.018,"endTime":837.258,"body":"OK, and then I want to talk about this"},{"startTime":831.018,"endTime":837.258,"body":"stage three decision point."},{"startTime":837.258,"endTime":841.198,"body":"Now, you feel however you feel about."},{"startTime":841.198,"endTime":845.898,"body":"divorce and whether that's even an option"},{"startTime":841.198,"endTime":845.898,"body":"or like what the circumstances would have"},{"startTime":845.898,"endTime":846.818,"body":"to be."},{"startTime":846.818,"endTime":851.078,"body":"I think we can probably all agree that"},{"startTime":846.818,"endTime":851.078,"body":"when it comes to business."},{"startTime":851.518,"endTime":855.278,"body":"Sometimes a breakup is required."},{"startTime":856.218,"endTime":861.538,"body":"Yeah, there is a time and a place where a"},{"startTime":856.218,"endTime":861.538,"body":"business isn't serving someone where the"},{"startTime":861.538,"endTime":866.438,"body":"finances aren't working, whatever the case"},{"startTime":861.538,"endTime":866.438,"body":"may be, the time commitment is too much"},{"startTime":866.438,"endTime":870.374,"body":"where someone should be able to say, you"},{"startTime":866.438,"endTime":870.374,"body":"know what?"},{"startTime":870.542,"endTime":873.722,"body":"It's time we're going to close the"},{"startTime":870.542,"endTime":873.722,"body":"business and they should be able to do"},{"startTime":873.722,"endTime":880.682,"body":"that without feeling like they have failed"},{"startTime":873.722,"endTime":880.682,"body":"or feeling any shame."},{"startTime":880.902,"endTime":884.722,"body":"But I, I acknowledge that that is a lot"},{"startTime":880.902,"endTime":884.722,"body":"easier said than done."},{"startTime":884.722,"endTime":889.022,"body":"It's one thing for us to say like, Oh"},{"startTime":884.722,"endTime":889.022,"body":"yeah, you know, it was time she closed the"},{"startTime":889.022,"endTime":893.392,"body":"business, but when it's, it goes from she"},{"startTime":889.022,"endTime":893.392,"body":"to me, I'm going to close my business."},{"startTime":893.392,"endTime":896.132,"body":"That's a whole can of emotional worms,"},{"startTime":893.392,"endTime":896.132,"body":"right?"},{"startTime":896.132,"endTime":900.11,"body":"Individual businesses that we own, that we"},{"startTime":896.132,"endTime":900.11,"body":"start, they're like,"},{"startTime":900.11,"endTime":901.38,"body":"They're like relationships."},{"startTime":901.38,"endTime":902.14,"body":"They're like babies."},{"startTime":902.14,"endTime":907.41,"body":"There's a lot of complex emotional baggage"},{"startTime":902.14,"endTime":907.41,"body":"that goes into them."},{"startTime":907.41,"endTime":911.79,"body":"So kind of like someone who is"},{"startTime":907.41,"endTime":911.79,"body":"contemplating divorce, they're at that"},{"startTime":911.79,"endTime":914.05,"body":"crossroads in their marriage."},{"startTime":914.05,"endTime":918.49,"body":"Business owners who are considering"},{"startTime":914.05,"endTime":918.49,"body":"closing their businesses often feel kind"},{"startTime":918.49,"endTime":923.03,"body":"of trapped between like the feelings of"},{"startTime":918.49,"endTime":923.03,"body":"frustration that they have with whatever's"},{"startTime":923.03,"endTime":925.15,"body":"not working right in their business."},{"startTime":925.35,"endTime":929.23,"body":"And also between, you know, between that"},{"startTime":925.35,"endTime":929.23,"body":"and the feelings of shame."},{"startTime":929.23,"endTime":934.27,"body":"that they have or that they anticipate"},{"startTime":929.23,"endTime":934.27,"body":"having if they were to actually go and"},{"startTime":934.27,"endTime":935.29,"body":"close their business."},{"startTime":935.29,"endTime":941.73,"body":"So I just wanted to kind of acknowledge"},{"startTime":935.29,"endTime":941.73,"body":"that on the side, depending on where you"},{"startTime":941.73,"endTime":946.15,"body":"feel like you are in this cycle right now,"},{"startTime":941.73,"endTime":946.15,"body":"and if you happen to be at that"},{"startTime":946.15,"endTime":951.89,"body":"crossroads, just know that it's kind of a"},{"startTime":946.15,"endTime":951.89,"body":"both and situation."},{"startTime":952.03,"endTime":958.76,"body":"Like you can intellectually acknowledge"},{"startTime":952.03,"endTime":958.76,"body":"that it should be a business decision."},{"startTime":959.086,"endTime":963.246,"body":"And you can hold space for the fact that"},{"startTime":959.086,"endTime":963.246,"body":"it is an emotional decision."},{"startTime":963.246,"endTime":967.746,"body":"But I hope you can also find comfort in"},{"startTime":963.246,"endTime":967.746,"body":"the fact that from a third person"},{"startTime":967.746,"endTime":974.186,"body":"perspective, there isn't a lot of judgment"},{"startTime":967.746,"endTime":974.186,"body":"or shame or, you know, feelings of, well,"},{"startTime":974.186,"endTime":976.856,"body":"that person failed from the outside."},{"startTime":976.856,"endTime":978.506,"body":"Most of that comes from the inside."},{"startTime":978.506,"endTime":982.306,"body":"But if you do stick it out with your"},{"startTime":978.506,"endTime":982.306,"body":"business."},{"startTime":982.746,"endTime":988.546,"body":"The other thing to know is that as long as"},{"startTime":982.746,"endTime":988.546,"body":"you keep moving forward, as long as you"},{"startTime":988.546,"endTime":989.318,"body":"keep"},{"startTime":989.39,"endTime":996.97,"body":"trying and creating and being open to the"},{"startTime":989.39,"endTime":996.97,"body":"path, there will come a time when you find"},{"startTime":996.97,"endTime":1004.1,"body":"your footing and you sort of enter that"},{"startTime":996.97,"endTime":1004.1,"body":"final phase where you trust your business,"},{"startTime":1004.1,"endTime":1010.57,"body":"where you trust yourself so much that you"},{"startTime":1004.1,"endTime":1010.57,"body":"are, you know, able to do things like"},{"startTime":1010.57,"endTime":1016.53,"body":"turning down clients who aren't the right"},{"startTime":1010.57,"endTime":1016.53,"body":"fit or setting real meaningful boundaries"},{"startTime":1016.53,"endTime":1018.584,"body":"around your work and your life."},{"startTime":1018.83,"endTime":1023.27,"body":"and even, you know, step away from your"},{"startTime":1018.83,"endTime":1023.27,"body":"work periodically to go on vacation and"},{"startTime":1023.27,"endTime":1024.91,"body":"rest and recharge."},{"startTime":1024.97,"endTime":1030.99,"body":"Not because, you know, some, you know,"},{"startTime":1024.97,"endTime":1030.99,"body":"someone told you to, or you heard that you"},{"startTime":1030.99,"endTime":1033.61,"body":"should, or you read a book that said you"},{"startTime":1030.99,"endTime":1033.61,"body":"should take time off."},{"startTime":1033.61,"endTime":1035.01,"body":"That's fine."},{"startTime":1035.01,"endTime":1040.81,"body":"But at that stage, you're doing it because"},{"startTime":1035.01,"endTime":1040.81,"body":"you know deep down that your business"},{"startTime":1040.81,"endTime":1043.07,"body":"isn't going to fall apart in your absence."},{"startTime":1043.07,"endTime":1045.806,"body":"You have built a"},{"startTime":1045.806,"endTime":1051.926,"body":"business on, you know, with systems and"},{"startTime":1045.806,"endTime":1051.926,"body":"with credibility and trust in your market"},{"startTime":1051.926,"endTime":1054.966,"body":"and among your clients, you can do those"},{"startTime":1051.926,"endTime":1054.966,"body":"things."},{"startTime":1054.966,"endTime":1060.346,"body":"And when you rest and recharge, that will"},{"startTime":1054.966,"endTime":1060.346,"body":"truly help your business to thrive."},{"startTime":1060.426,"endTime":1067.006,"body":"So no matter what stage in this four stage"},{"startTime":1060.426,"endTime":1067.006,"body":"process, you feel like your business is"},{"startTime":1067.006,"endTime":1071.356,"body":"in, I want to remind you that that is all"},{"startTime":1067.006,"endTime":1071.356,"body":"it is."},{"startTime":1071.356,"endTime":1072.506,"body":"It is a stage."},{"startTime":1072.506,"endTime":1075.278,"body":"It is a very well -worn."},{"startTime":1075.278,"endTime":1078.638,"body":"process that we go through as business"},{"startTime":1075.278,"endTime":1078.638,"body":"owners."},{"startTime":1078.638,"endTime":1081.788,"body":"And I hope that like me, you take some"},{"startTime":1078.638,"endTime":1081.788,"body":"comfort in that knowledge."},{"startTime":1081.788,"endTime":1087.278,"body":"So if you are in it for the long haul with"},{"startTime":1081.788,"endTime":1087.278,"body":"your business, whether it currently feels"},{"startTime":1087.278,"endTime":1093.678,"body":"amazing or impossible, just remember that"},{"startTime":1087.278,"endTime":1093.678,"body":"this too shall pass."},{"startTime":1093.678,"endTime":1095.118,"body":"Have a great week."},{"startTime":1095.338,"endTime":1098.798,"body":"Well, that's it for this week's episode of"},{"startTime":1095.338,"endTime":1098.798,"body":"This Can't Be That Hard."},{"startTime":1098.798,"endTime":1101.798,"body":"I'll be back same time, same place next"},{"startTime":1098.798,"endTime":1101.798,"body":"week."},{"startTime":1101.87,"endTime":1105.81,"body":"In the meantime, you can find more"},{"startTime":1101.87,"endTime":1105.81,"body":"information about this episode, along with"},{"startTime":1105.81,"endTime":1110.43,"body":"all the relevant links, notes, and"},{"startTime":1105.81,"endTime":1110.43,"body":"downloads at thiscan'tbethathard .com"},{"startTime":1110.43,"endTime":1111.71,"body":"slash learn."},{"startTime":1111.71,"endTime":1115.13,"body":"If you like the podcast, be sure to hit"},{"startTime":1111.71,"endTime":1115.13,"body":"the subscribe button."},{"startTime":1115.13,"endTime":1118.91,"body":"Even better, share the love by leaving a"},{"startTime":1115.13,"endTime":1118.91,"body":"review in iTunes."},{"startTime":1118.91,"endTime":1121.44,"body":"And as always, thanks so much for joining"},{"startTime":1118.91,"endTime":1121.44,"body":"me."},{"startTime":1121.44,"endTime":1123.782,"body":"I hope you have a fantastic week."}]}