{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":0.9,"endTime":4.71,"body":"Recently I did a survey of all"},{"startTime":0.9,"endTime":4.71,"body":"the students who had purchased"},{"startTime":4.71,"endTime":8.73,"body":"my blueprint course. And one of"},{"startTime":4.71,"endTime":8.73,"body":"the questions was what three"},{"startTime":8.73,"endTime":13.32,"body":"words or phrases describe your"},{"startTime":8.73,"endTime":13.32,"body":"feelings about money. The"},{"startTime":13.32,"endTime":17.49,"body":"responses were overwhelmingly"},{"startTime":13.32,"endTime":17.49,"body":"negative. There were themes,"},{"startTime":17.55,"endTime":23.73,"body":"including stress, shame,"},{"startTime":17.55,"endTime":23.73,"body":"scarcity, guilt, insecurity. One"},{"startTime":23.73,"endTime":28.5,"body":"person even used the word abuse."},{"startTime":23.73,"endTime":28.5,"body":"And I know from conversations"},{"startTime":28.5,"endTime":31.95,"body":"I've had over time that since I"},{"startTime":28.5,"endTime":31.95,"body":"teach about how to price and"},{"startTime":31.95,"endTime":35.97,"body":"sell your work, and since I come"},{"startTime":31.95,"endTime":35.97,"body":"from in person sales, and I talk"},{"startTime":35.97,"endTime":39.12,"body":"about the fact that my photo"},{"startTime":35.97,"endTime":39.12,"body":"business routinely makes six"},{"startTime":39.12,"endTime":43.2,"body":"figures, people seem to assume"},{"startTime":39.12,"endTime":43.2,"body":"that things like money and sales"},{"startTime":43.2,"endTime":48.06,"body":"and charging higher prices all"},{"startTime":43.2,"endTime":48.06,"body":"come easily to me. The reality"},{"startTime":48.06,"endTime":51.09,"body":"is that although these days, I"},{"startTime":48.06,"endTime":51.09,"body":"feel pretty confident when it"},{"startTime":51.09,"endTime":54.63,"body":"comes to money, and all the"},{"startTime":51.09,"endTime":54.63,"body":"things surrounding it, including"},{"startTime":54.66,"endTime":59.07,"body":"earning it, saving it, and"},{"startTime":54.66,"endTime":59.07,"body":"spending it, it definitely has"},{"startTime":59.07,"endTime":63.42,"body":"not always been that way. So"},{"startTime":59.07,"endTime":63.42,"body":"today, I want to share a bit"},{"startTime":63.42,"endTime":67.8,"body":"about my own journey when it"},{"startTime":63.42,"endTime":67.8,"body":"comes to money, where I have"},{"startTime":67.8,"endTime":72.3,"body":"been in the past where I am now,"},{"startTime":67.8,"endTime":72.3,"body":"and how I got there."},{"startTime":73.71,"endTime":77.34,"body":"Welcome to this can't be that"},{"startTime":73.71,"endTime":77.34,"body":"hard. My name is Annemie Tonken."},{"startTime":77.34,"endTime":80.31,"body":"And I help photographers run"},{"startTime":77.34,"endTime":80.31,"body":"profitable, sustainable"},{"startTime":80.31,"endTime":84.45,"body":"businesses that they love. Each"},{"startTime":80.31,"endTime":84.45,"body":"week on the podcast, I cover"},{"startTime":84.45,"endTime":88.2,"body":"simple, actionable strategies"},{"startTime":84.45,"endTime":88.2,"body":"and systems that photographers"},{"startTime":88.2,"endTime":92.01,"body":"at every level of experience can"},{"startTime":88.2,"endTime":92.01,"body":"use to earn more money in a more"},{"startTime":92.01,"endTime":95.7,"body":"sustainable way. Running a"},{"startTime":92.01,"endTime":95.7,"body":"photography business doesn't"},{"startTime":95.7,"endTime":99.48,"body":"have to be that hard. You can do"},{"startTime":95.7,"endTime":99.48,"body":"it. And I can show you how."},{"startTime":102.69,"endTime":107.22,"body":"Growing up, my family didn't"},{"startTime":102.69,"endTime":107.22,"body":"really talk about money. We did"},{"startTime":107.22,"endTime":110.55,"body":"not have any money when I was"},{"startTime":107.22,"endTime":110.55,"body":"little. My parents were quite"},{"startTime":110.55,"endTime":114.06,"body":"young when they had me. And I"},{"startTime":110.55,"endTime":114.06,"body":"think that it was probably a"},{"startTime":114.06,"endTime":118.53,"body":"pretty significant struggle for"},{"startTime":114.06,"endTime":118.53,"body":"the first at least decade of my"},{"startTime":118.53,"endTime":124.38,"body":"life while they navigated their"},{"startTime":118.53,"endTime":124.38,"body":"20s. But by the time I was aware"},{"startTime":124.41,"endTime":129.57,"body":"of money as a construct, we sort"},{"startTime":124.41,"endTime":129.57,"body":"of had enough that my parents"},{"startTime":129.57,"endTime":133.56,"body":"didn't need to constantly talk"},{"startTime":129.57,"endTime":133.56,"body":"about it. And they didn't. They"},{"startTime":133.56,"endTime":138.09,"body":"definitely modeled some really"},{"startTime":133.56,"endTime":138.09,"body":"good behavior they would spend"},{"startTime":138.09,"endTime":141.6,"body":"within their means. They talked"},{"startTime":138.09,"endTime":141.6,"body":"about the importance of not"},{"startTime":141.6,"endTime":144.96,"body":"going into debt except for"},{"startTime":141.6,"endTime":144.96,"body":"things like you know, a home"},{"startTime":144.96,"endTime":149.76,"body":"purchase or a school loan. And"},{"startTime":144.96,"endTime":149.76,"body":"they talked pretty routinely"},{"startTime":149.79,"endTime":153.72,"body":"about the fact that you don't"},{"startTime":149.79,"endTime":153.72,"body":"need money to be happy. In fact,"},{"startTime":153.75,"endTime":159.21,"body":"in some ways they went overboard"},{"startTime":153.75,"endTime":159.21,"body":"into the territory of like money"},{"startTime":159.21,"endTime":164.4,"body":"can be corruptive. \"Corruptive\""},{"startTime":159.21,"endTime":164.4,"body":"is that even a word? Money can"},{"startTime":164.4,"endTime":168.51,"body":"corrupt people. And there was"},{"startTime":164.4,"endTime":168.51,"body":"sort of this overarching, if"},{"startTime":168.54,"endTime":174.33,"body":"unspoken lesson of if you have"},{"startTime":168.54,"endTime":174.33,"body":"money, you're not supposed to"},{"startTime":174.33,"endTime":177.81,"body":"talk about it or show it off."},{"startTime":174.33,"endTime":177.81,"body":"The high school that I went to"},{"startTime":177.81,"endTime":182.25,"body":"was also pretty unremarkable in"},{"startTime":177.81,"endTime":182.25,"body":"terms of the population of"},{"startTime":182.25,"endTime":185.64,"body":"people there when it came to"},{"startTime":182.25,"endTime":185.64,"body":"money. There were a range of"},{"startTime":185.64,"endTime":190.47,"body":"people who - I went to a small"},{"startTime":185.64,"endTime":190.47,"body":"Catholic school. And because we"},{"startTime":190.47,"endTime":194.91,"body":"all wear uniforms, and you know,"},{"startTime":190.47,"endTime":194.91,"body":"it wasn't anything fancy, there"},{"startTime":194.91,"endTime":198.24,"body":"wasn't a lot of there wasn't a"},{"startTime":194.91,"endTime":198.24,"body":"lot of comparison I guess, that"},{"startTime":198.24,"endTime":201.15,"body":"I think a lot of people in high"},{"startTime":198.24,"endTime":201.15,"body":"school had so in some ways that"},{"startTime":201.15,"endTime":207.51,"body":"shielded me from the concerns"},{"startTime":201.15,"endTime":207.51,"body":"that a lot of teenagers have"},{"startTime":207.54,"endTime":212.46,"body":"some of the stuff that I see my"},{"startTime":207.54,"endTime":212.46,"body":"own kids seeing and dealing with"},{"startTime":212.46,"endTime":216.45,"body":"I was pretty sheltered from. But"},{"startTime":212.46,"endTime":216.45,"body":"then I went off to college and"},{"startTime":216.45,"endTime":219.21,"body":"where I went to school, it was a"},{"startTime":216.45,"endTime":219.21,"body":"private school, it was"},{"startTime":219.21,"endTime":223.71,"body":"expensive. And there were a lot"},{"startTime":219.21,"endTime":223.71,"body":"of kids there with a lot of"},{"startTime":223.71,"endTime":226.59,"body":"money that came from families"},{"startTime":223.71,"endTime":226.59,"body":"that were quite wealthy. You"},{"startTime":226.59,"endTime":231.03,"body":"know, I showed up my freshman"},{"startTime":226.59,"endTime":231.03,"body":"year, hardly able to dress"},{"startTime":231.03,"endTime":233.55,"body":"myself, given that I had gone to"},{"startTime":231.03,"endTime":233.55,"body":"Catholic school and worn a"},{"startTime":233.55,"endTime":237.12,"body":"uniform my whole life. And there"},{"startTime":233.55,"endTime":237.12,"body":"were kids there who you know,"},{"startTime":237.12,"endTime":241.83,"body":"clearly had their parents credit"},{"startTime":237.12,"endTime":241.83,"body":"card and the ability to go use"},{"startTime":241.83,"endTime":246.93,"body":"that with abandon, a lot of them"},{"startTime":241.83,"endTime":246.93,"body":"had not only cars, but fancy"},{"startTime":246.93,"endTime":251.16,"body":"cars, I didn't have any car at"},{"startTime":246.93,"endTime":251.16,"body":"all. And so in many ways, that"},{"startTime":251.16,"endTime":255.99,"body":"was my first experience with"},{"startTime":251.16,"endTime":255.99,"body":"money being kind of a"},{"startTime":255.99,"endTime":258.99,"body":"differentiating factor for"},{"startTime":255.99,"endTime":258.99,"body":"people, I often sort of felt"},{"startTime":258.99,"endTime":262.83,"body":"like a fish out of water. But I"},{"startTime":258.99,"endTime":262.83,"body":"definitely wasn't like confident"},{"startTime":262.83,"endTime":266.91,"body":"enough in myself at that point"},{"startTime":262.83,"endTime":266.91,"body":"to feel like well, this doesn't"},{"startTime":266.91,"endTime":271.62,"body":"matter. So it was definitely an"},{"startTime":266.91,"endTime":271.62,"body":"issue. But you know, you get"},{"startTime":271.62,"endTime":275.55,"body":"through that sort of thing. And"},{"startTime":271.62,"endTime":275.55,"body":"after school, I moved to New"},{"startTime":275.55,"endTime":279.09,"body":"York City, because I wanted very"},{"startTime":275.55,"endTime":279.09,"body":"badly to live there."},{"startTime":279.0,"endTime":283.44,"body":"I had visited once I thought it"},{"startTime":279.0,"endTime":283.44,"body":"was amazing. And I had it in my"},{"startTime":283.44,"endTime":286.05,"body":"head that that would be a great"},{"startTime":283.44,"endTime":286.05,"body":"place to live in my early 20s."},{"startTime":286.23,"endTime":290.82,"body":"And it was. I got a job. My"},{"startTime":286.23,"endTime":290.82,"body":"undergraduate degree. My"},{"startTime":290.85,"endTime":293.7,"body":"original undergraduate degree"},{"startTime":290.85,"endTime":293.7,"body":"was in cultural anthropology. So"},{"startTime":293.7,"endTime":297.36,"body":"it wasn't like I was set up for"},{"startTime":293.7,"endTime":297.36,"body":"some specific career track. But"},{"startTime":297.36,"endTime":300.21,"body":"knowing that I wanted to move to"},{"startTime":297.36,"endTime":300.21,"body":"New York, I applied for jobs"},{"startTime":300.24,"endTime":304.74,"body":"with places like investment"},{"startTime":300.24,"endTime":304.74,"body":"banks, which makes me laugh now"},{"startTime":304.74,"endTime":308.49,"body":"and consulting firms, and that"},{"startTime":304.74,"endTime":308.49,"body":"was sort of like a, you know,"},{"startTime":308.52,"endTime":311.22,"body":"you don't have to have any"},{"startTime":308.52,"endTime":311.22,"body":"particular skill set other than"},{"startTime":311.22,"endTime":316.26,"body":"a willingness to work. And I"},{"startTime":311.22,"endTime":316.26,"body":"figured those places tended to"},{"startTime":316.41,"endTime":319.95,"body":"be pretty high paying. And I"},{"startTime":316.41,"endTime":319.95,"body":"figured that that would afford"},{"startTime":319.95,"endTime":323.58,"body":"me the ability to live in what I"},{"startTime":319.95,"endTime":323.58,"body":"had come to understand was a"},{"startTime":323.58,"endTime":329.58,"body":"super expensive city. So I moved"},{"startTime":323.58,"endTime":329.58,"body":"there in May after graduation."},{"startTime":329.64,"endTime":333.54,"body":"And that was 2001. And I got a"},{"startTime":329.64,"endTime":333.54,"body":"job waiting tables, because"},{"startTime":333.54,"endTime":337.17,"body":"that's what I knew how to do."},{"startTime":333.54,"endTime":337.17,"body":"And I was just going to sort of"},{"startTime":337.17,"endTime":341.49,"body":"wait tables to meet people and"},{"startTime":337.17,"endTime":341.49,"body":"have enough money to live for"},{"startTime":341.49,"endTime":344.49,"body":"the summer until my job was"},{"startTime":341.49,"endTime":344.49,"body":"supposed to start in October."},{"startTime":344.61,"endTime":348.93,"body":"And then 9/11 happened and my"},{"startTime":344.61,"endTime":348.93,"body":"consulting job offer"},{"startTime":348.93,"endTime":352.08,"body":"disappeared. Well, actually, it"},{"startTime":348.93,"endTime":352.08,"body":"was just put on hold, but it was"},{"startTime":352.65,"endTime":356.01,"body":"gone for months and months,"},{"startTime":352.65,"endTime":356.01,"body":"while they were sort of"},{"startTime":356.04,"endTime":360.24,"body":"navigating the post 9/11 waters,"},{"startTime":356.04,"endTime":360.24,"body":"hard to believe that's 20 years"},{"startTime":360.24,"endTime":366.3,"body":"ago now. And so I was just sort"},{"startTime":360.24,"endTime":366.3,"body":"of waiting tables, like with"},{"startTime":366.3,"endTime":370.47,"body":"this newfound, you know, well,"},{"startTime":366.3,"endTime":370.47,"body":"what do I do next? Do I wait for"},{"startTime":370.47,"endTime":374.04,"body":"this job to start, but at that"},{"startTime":370.47,"endTime":374.04,"body":"point, I had been in New York"},{"startTime":374.04,"endTime":378.12,"body":"long enough that I sort of had a"},{"startTime":374.04,"endTime":378.12,"body":"sense, you know, I was making"},{"startTime":378.12,"endTime":380.61,"body":"pretty good money waiting"},{"startTime":378.12,"endTime":380.61,"body":"tables. And I was like, Oh, I"},{"startTime":380.61,"endTime":383.67,"body":"guess I don't need to make the"},{"startTime":380.61,"endTime":383.67,"body":"most money here in order to"},{"startTime":383.67,"endTime":388.71,"body":"live. So what do I actually want"},{"startTime":383.67,"endTime":388.71,"body":"to do? And all of that sort of,"},{"startTime":388.92,"endTime":393.36,"body":"over a period of time, got me to"},{"startTime":388.92,"endTime":393.36,"body":"this idea that I was going to go"},{"startTime":393.36,"endTime":399.06,"body":"back and go to nursing school."},{"startTime":393.36,"endTime":399.06,"body":"So I took out a loan, a loan"},{"startTime":399.06,"endTime":402.93,"body":"that I just recently paid off,"},{"startTime":399.06,"endTime":402.93,"body":"actually so. So that was kind of"},{"startTime":402.93,"endTime":406.56,"body":"funny. But I took out a loan"},{"startTime":402.93,"endTime":406.56,"body":"applied and went to get a second"},{"startTime":406.56,"endTime":411.03,"body":"bachelor's degree in nursing."},{"startTime":406.56,"endTime":411.03,"body":"And in the meantime, I met the"},{"startTime":411.06,"endTime":414.93,"body":"man that I would marry a couple"},{"startTime":411.06,"endTime":414.93,"body":"years later. And at the"},{"startTime":414.93,"endTime":420.6,"body":"beginning of our relationship, I"},{"startTime":414.93,"endTime":420.6,"body":"was only 22. And I didn't have"},{"startTime":420.75,"endTime":423.93,"body":"very much money to speak of, but"},{"startTime":420.75,"endTime":423.93,"body":"I had saved up a little bit of"},{"startTime":423.93,"endTime":427.17,"body":"money over the summer with my"},{"startTime":423.93,"endTime":427.17,"body":"waiting tables job. And when I"},{"startTime":427.17,"endTime":429.72,"body":"met him, he was eight years"},{"startTime":427.17,"endTime":429.72,"body":"older than I was, and he had"},{"startTime":429.72,"endTime":432.51,"body":"been living in New York all this"},{"startTime":429.72,"endTime":432.51,"body":"time. And he had quite a lot of"},{"startTime":432.51,"endTime":435.72,"body":"credit card debt that, you know,"},{"startTime":432.51,"endTime":435.72,"body":"came up in the course of"},{"startTime":435.72,"endTime":438.51,"body":"conversation over the first"},{"startTime":435.72,"endTime":438.51,"body":"several months of our"},{"startTime":438.51,"endTime":443.49,"body":"relationship. And so between"},{"startTime":438.51,"endTime":443.49,"body":"that and the fact that shortly"},{"startTime":443.49,"endTime":447.15,"body":"after we got married, he had"},{"startTime":443.49,"endTime":447.15,"body":"this major health issue that"},{"startTime":447.15,"endTime":450.48,"body":"came up, that landed him in the"},{"startTime":447.15,"endTime":450.48,"body":"hospital for a couple of weeks."},{"startTime":451.41,"endTime":456.84,"body":"And those two things ended up"},{"startTime":451.41,"endTime":456.84,"body":"putting us into a fair amount of"},{"startTime":456.84,"endTime":461.46,"body":"debt around the time that I was"},{"startTime":456.84,"endTime":461.46,"body":"25. So I had the student loan,"},{"startTime":461.49,"endTime":466.23,"body":"we had this giant health bill,"},{"startTime":461.49,"endTime":466.23,"body":"and this credit card debt that"},{"startTime":466.23,"endTime":470.31,"body":"he was trying to work off. So"},{"startTime":466.23,"endTime":470.31,"body":"you know, this is pretty typical"},{"startTime":470.58,"endTime":475.23,"body":"20s stuff, like we were"},{"startTime":470.58,"endTime":475.23,"body":"navigating all of this, I was"},{"startTime":475.23,"endTime":479.43,"body":"working and going to school, he"},{"startTime":475.23,"endTime":479.43,"body":"was in grad school. And then he"},{"startTime":479.43,"endTime":483.6,"body":"finished grad school and he had"},{"startTime":479.43,"endTime":483.6,"body":"a good job, but it was still"},{"startTime":483.6,"endTime":487.92,"body":"like pretty entry level. And"},{"startTime":483.6,"endTime":487.92,"body":"then just a year later, right"},{"startTime":487.92,"endTime":493.86,"body":"before my 27th birthday, we had"},{"startTime":487.92,"endTime":493.86,"body":"our first child. And so you"},{"startTime":493.86,"endTime":496.56,"body":"know, I look back on all these,"},{"startTime":493.86,"endTime":496.56,"body":"it was like kind of rapid"},{"startTime":496.56,"endTime":500.04,"body":"changes. And I was trying to"},{"startTime":496.56,"endTime":500.04,"body":"navigate all this stuff. And it"},{"startTime":500.04,"endTime":503.34,"body":"was, you know, we were paying"},{"startTime":500.04,"endTime":503.34,"body":"our rent and all that sort of"},{"startTime":503.34,"endTime":507.15,"body":"stuff. But we were carrying a"},{"startTime":503.34,"endTime":507.15,"body":"fair amount of debt. And in"},{"startTime":507.15,"endTime":512.16,"body":"2007, after Oliver was born, we"},{"startTime":507.15,"endTime":512.16,"body":"were looking to potentially buy"},{"startTime":512.16,"endTime":514.98,"body":"an apartment in Brooklyn. And"},{"startTime":512.16,"endTime":514.98,"body":"you know, I think back on that"},{"startTime":514.98,"endTime":520.35,"body":"now, and I'm so grateful that we"},{"startTime":514.98,"endTime":520.35,"body":"didn't. I think, you know,"},{"startTime":520.38,"endTime":523.44,"body":"historically, there's been a"},{"startTime":520.38,"endTime":523.44,"body":"fair amount of pressure like,"},{"startTime":523.47,"endTime":526.74,"body":"Oh, it's you're settling down"},{"startTime":523.47,"endTime":526.74,"body":"real estate is the thing to do"},{"startTime":526.77,"endTime":531.51,"body":"you have a baby. But you know it"},{"startTime":526.77,"endTime":531.51,"body":"in retrospect, we know that,"},{"startTime":531.54,"endTime":535.5,"body":"like the real estate bubble was"},{"startTime":531.54,"endTime":535.5,"body":"at its very peak at that point."},{"startTime":536.89,"endTime":540.07,"body":"I have no doubt that if we had"},{"startTime":536.89,"endTime":540.07,"body":"stretched, which was what we"},{"startTime":540.07,"endTime":543.28,"body":"were going to have to do to buy"},{"startTime":540.07,"endTime":543.28,"body":"an apartment, it would have"},{"startTime":543.28,"endTime":548.47,"body":"been, it would have trapped us"},{"startTime":543.28,"endTime":548.47,"body":"in that very small apartment for"},{"startTime":548.5,"endTime":553.9,"body":"a long time with a lot of sort"},{"startTime":548.5,"endTime":553.9,"body":"of house debt. And so I'm glad"},{"startTime":554.08,"endTime":557.95,"body":"that instead of doing that, I"},{"startTime":554.08,"endTime":557.95,"body":"kind of pulled the plug and"},{"startTime":557.95,"endTime":560.56,"body":"said, You know what, I think"},{"startTime":557.95,"endTime":560.56,"body":"it's crazy that we're trying to"},{"startTime":560.56,"endTime":563.2,"body":"continue living in New York"},{"startTime":560.56,"endTime":563.2,"body":"things, obviously, after having"},{"startTime":563.2,"endTime":566.98,"body":"a child really changed. It was"},{"startTime":563.2,"endTime":566.98,"body":"you know, all of a sudden, I"},{"startTime":566.98,"endTime":569.65,"body":"wasn't really taking advantage"},{"startTime":566.98,"endTime":569.65,"body":"of all the stuff that New York"},{"startTime":569.65,"endTime":573.01,"body":"City offered. I was feeling"},{"startTime":569.65,"endTime":573.01,"body":"pretty isolated. Most people in"},{"startTime":573.01,"endTime":575.5,"body":"New York don't start families"},{"startTime":573.01,"endTime":575.5,"body":"intentionally when they're in"},{"startTime":575.5,"endTime":580.27,"body":"their mid 20s. And so I started"},{"startTime":575.5,"endTime":580.27,"body":"saying I think we need to move I"},{"startTime":580.27,"endTime":583.06,"body":"think we need to consider moving"},{"startTime":580.27,"endTime":583.06,"body":"out of the city that hadn't been"},{"startTime":583.06,"endTime":588.19,"body":"part of the conversation before"},{"startTime":583.06,"endTime":588.19,"body":"the baby was born. But But"},{"startTime":589.12,"endTime":593.92,"body":"thankfully, we were able to"},{"startTime":589.12,"endTime":593.92,"body":"figure that out and we decided"},{"startTime":593.92,"endTime":598.45,"body":"to move to North Carolina for"},{"startTime":593.92,"endTime":598.45,"body":"you know, a host of reasons and"},{"startTime":598.9,"endTime":602.62,"body":"so we moved Here to North"},{"startTime":598.9,"endTime":602.62,"body":"Carolina when my son was almost"},{"startTime":602.62,"endTime":606.04,"body":"one. And then life kind of"},{"startTime":602.62,"endTime":606.04,"body":"settled into a bit of a groove"},{"startTime":606.04,"endTime":610.6,"body":"for a while, we both had steady"},{"startTime":606.04,"endTime":610.6,"body":"jobs with steady income, I was"},{"startTime":610.6,"endTime":614.95,"body":"working by that point as a"},{"startTime":610.6,"endTime":614.95,"body":"nurse, and my ex husband kept"},{"startTime":614.95,"endTime":618.91,"body":"his New York City job. He was"},{"startTime":614.95,"endTime":618.91,"body":"working remotely. And between"},{"startTime":618.91,"endTime":622.96,"body":"the lower cost of living and you"},{"startTime":618.91,"endTime":622.96,"body":"know, an increase over time and"},{"startTime":622.96,"endTime":627.4,"body":"his salary, we were finally at a"},{"startTime":622.96,"endTime":627.4,"body":"place where we weren't coming"},{"startTime":627.4,"endTime":630.52,"body":"from behind every month, we"},{"startTime":627.4,"endTime":630.52,"body":"weren't stretching every dollar"},{"startTime":630.52,"endTime":635.11,"body":"as far as it could possibly go,"},{"startTime":630.52,"endTime":635.11,"body":"I started grad school, we had"},{"startTime":635.11,"endTime":641.41,"body":"another baby. And I think that"},{"startTime":635.11,"endTime":641.41,"body":"from all outside sources, anyone"},{"startTime":641.41,"endTime":644.8,"body":"would sort of look at that and"},{"startTime":641.41,"endTime":644.8,"body":"say, things were trending in the"},{"startTime":644.8,"endTime":648.64,"body":"right direction, I had just"},{"startTime":644.8,"endTime":648.64,"body":"turned 30. And it sort of felt"},{"startTime":648.64,"endTime":652.09,"body":"like things were falling into"},{"startTime":648.64,"endTime":652.09,"body":"place. And after Judah was born,"},{"startTime":652.15,"endTime":655.9,"body":"I took a leave of absence from"},{"startTime":652.15,"endTime":655.9,"body":"my master's program to, you"},{"startTime":655.9,"endTime":661.9,"body":"know, explore this crazy idea of"},{"startTime":655.9,"endTime":661.9,"body":"pursuing a photography career. I"},{"startTime":661.93,"endTime":664.78,"body":"was not happy with where my"},{"startTime":661.93,"endTime":664.78,"body":"master's program was kind of"},{"startTime":664.78,"endTime":668.38,"body":"going, I was realizing that this"},{"startTime":664.78,"endTime":668.38,"body":"probably wasn't the right job"},{"startTime":668.38,"endTime":671.86,"body":"for me in the long term. And so"},{"startTime":668.38,"endTime":671.86,"body":"I was trying to figure out what"},{"startTime":671.86,"endTime":674.98,"body":"I wanted to do, and photography"},{"startTime":671.86,"endTime":674.98,"body":"was kind of bubbling to the"},{"startTime":674.98,"endTime":679.33,"body":"surface. And within a year of"},{"startTime":674.98,"endTime":679.33,"body":"taking that leave of absence, I"},{"startTime":679.33,"endTime":683.38,"body":"was really very actively trying"},{"startTime":679.33,"endTime":683.38,"body":"to get the business to a place"},{"startTime":683.38,"endTime":686.23,"body":"where I could quit my nursing"},{"startTime":683.38,"endTime":686.23,"body":"job altogether and go full time"},{"startTime":686.23,"endTime":690.43,"body":"on photography. But in order to"},{"startTime":686.23,"endTime":690.43,"body":"do that, I knew we needed to"},{"startTime":690.43,"endTime":693.7,"body":"save pretty aggressively and"},{"startTime":690.43,"endTime":693.7,"body":"that ultimately became the"},{"startTime":693.7,"endTime":696.13,"body":"source of a fair amount of"},{"startTime":693.7,"endTime":696.13,"body":"contention."},{"startTime":696.6,"endTime":699.45,"body":"I wouldn't say that money was"},{"startTime":696.6,"endTime":699.45,"body":"the cause of my divorce. But it"},{"startTime":699.45,"endTime":703.92,"body":"certainly didn't help. And I"},{"startTime":699.45,"endTime":703.92,"body":"promise I'm telling you this not"},{"startTime":703.92,"endTime":708.87,"body":"just to air my own dirty"},{"startTime":703.92,"endTime":708.87,"body":"laundry. But but because it"},{"startTime":708.87,"endTime":713.91,"body":"really does impact it was sort"},{"startTime":708.87,"endTime":713.91,"body":"of foundational in the way that"},{"startTime":713.94,"endTime":718.65,"body":"my money relationship evolved."},{"startTime":713.94,"endTime":718.65,"body":"Because for the last few years"},{"startTime":718.65,"endTime":722.85,"body":"of our marriage, I really"},{"startTime":718.65,"endTime":722.85,"body":"actively avoided looking at our"},{"startTime":722.85,"endTime":726.15,"body":"credit card statements and our"},{"startTime":722.85,"endTime":726.15,"body":"banking statements in this sort"},{"startTime":726.15,"endTime":731.76,"body":"of ostrich-like attempt to keep"},{"startTime":726.15,"endTime":731.76,"body":"the peace. I I knew that every"},{"startTime":731.76,"endTime":735.06,"body":"time that I started deep diving,"},{"startTime":731.76,"endTime":735.06,"body":"those things, it ended up"},{"startTime":735.12,"endTime":740.82,"body":"resulting in an argument and I"},{"startTime":735.12,"endTime":740.82,"body":"was trying to not argue, I was"},{"startTime":740.82,"endTime":745.05,"body":"trying to find common ground as"},{"startTime":740.82,"endTime":745.05,"body":"much as possible. So that was"},{"startTime":745.05,"endTime":749.07,"body":"just something that I kind of"},{"startTime":745.05,"endTime":749.07,"body":"started shying away from. But at"},{"startTime":749.07,"endTime":753.39,"body":"the same time, as I'm sure many"},{"startTime":749.07,"endTime":753.39,"body":"of you can probably relate to"},{"startTime":753.81,"endTime":756.93,"body":"shying away from that and not"},{"startTime":753.81,"endTime":756.93,"body":"knowing created this, like"},{"startTime":756.93,"endTime":761.94,"body":"growing sense of dread, about"},{"startTime":756.93,"endTime":761.94,"body":"money and what it meant for me"},{"startTime":761.94,"endTime":764.88,"body":"and how much we had and whether"},{"startTime":761.94,"endTime":764.88,"body":"we were okay, and all that sort"},{"startTime":764.88,"endTime":769.83,"body":"of stuff. So up until that point"},{"startTime":764.88,"endTime":769.83,"body":"in my life, I had always viewed"},{"startTime":769.83,"endTime":773.13,"body":"money as sort of a necessary"},{"startTime":769.83,"endTime":773.13,"body":"means to an end, it was kind of"},{"startTime":773.13,"endTime":777.63,"body":"this thing that you needed to"},{"startTime":773.13,"endTime":777.63,"body":"pay the bills and like, I didn't"},{"startTime":777.63,"endTime":781.53,"body":"really have any big, overarching"},{"startTime":777.63,"endTime":781.53,"body":"goals about it. Now, I was"},{"startTime":781.65,"endTime":785.07,"body":"always a hard worker, I have"},{"startTime":781.65,"endTime":785.07,"body":"always had a job from the time"},{"startTime":785.07,"endTime":789.81,"body":"that I was 15 years old probably"},{"startTime":785.07,"endTime":789.81,"body":"before then. And I knew how to"},{"startTime":789.81,"endTime":793.44,"body":"spend less money than I made."},{"startTime":789.81,"endTime":793.44,"body":"But I had always been pretty"},{"startTime":793.44,"endTime":799.65,"body":"intimidated by what I saw as"},{"startTime":793.44,"endTime":799.65,"body":"kind of the adult mystery of"},{"startTime":799.65,"endTime":804.75,"body":"money. The like, the stuff that"},{"startTime":799.65,"endTime":804.75,"body":"people who seem to know what"},{"startTime":804.75,"endTime":807.45,"body":"they were doing knew I did not"},{"startTime":804.75,"endTime":807.45,"body":"feel like I was there, the only"},{"startTime":807.45,"endTime":811.05,"body":"real clue that I had about"},{"startTime":807.45,"endTime":811.05,"body":"personal finance was that I had"},{"startTime":811.05,"endTime":815.28,"body":"no clue about personal finance."},{"startTime":811.05,"endTime":815.28,"body":"And given that I was at this"},{"startTime":815.28,"endTime":818.91,"body":"point in my 30s and a parent of"},{"startTime":815.28,"endTime":818.91,"body":"two children and someone who"},{"startTime":818.91,"endTime":821.82,"body":"fancied herself, you know,"},{"startTime":818.91,"endTime":821.82,"body":"generally speaking to be a"},{"startTime":821.82,"endTime":826.14,"body":"responsible adult, I had a fair"},{"startTime":821.82,"endTime":826.14,"body":"amount of shame and anxiety"},{"startTime":826.17,"endTime":829.59,"body":"around the subject of money."},{"startTime":826.17,"endTime":829.59,"body":"When people would talk to me"},{"startTime":829.59,"endTime":833.31,"body":"about money, I could, I could"},{"startTime":829.59,"endTime":833.31,"body":"point to my income and I was"},{"startTime":833.31,"endTime":839.13,"body":"proud of what I was making. But"},{"startTime":833.31,"endTime":839.13,"body":"I wasn't necessarily able to go"},{"startTime":839.13,"endTime":843.27,"body":"a whole lot deeper than that. I"},{"startTime":839.13,"endTime":843.27,"body":"can sort of liken it to when I"},{"startTime":843.27,"endTime":848.43,"body":"was first learning about"},{"startTime":843.27,"endTime":848.43,"body":"photography. And I lived in fear"},{"startTime":848.46,"endTime":852.0,"body":"of being at like a wedding and"},{"startTime":848.46,"endTime":852.0,"body":"having somebody come up to me"},{"startTime":852.0,"endTime":855.96,"body":"and start grilling me about my"},{"startTime":852.0,"endTime":855.96,"body":"camera settings or something"},{"startTime":855.96,"endTime":859.59,"body":"like I could I could function as"},{"startTime":855.96,"endTime":859.59,"body":"a photographer, I could make"},{"startTime":859.59,"endTime":863.94,"body":"good photos, but I didn't at"},{"startTime":859.59,"endTime":863.94,"body":"that point really understand all"},{"startTime":863.94,"endTime":867.21,"body":"the ins and outs of how the"},{"startTime":863.94,"endTime":867.21,"body":"camera worked and all that sort"},{"startTime":867.21,"endTime":871.56,"body":"of stuff. So I kind of had this"},{"startTime":867.21,"endTime":871.56,"body":"imposter syndrome around cameras"},{"startTime":871.56,"endTime":874.92,"body":"in the beginning of my"},{"startTime":871.56,"endTime":874.92,"body":"photography career and in my"},{"startTime":874.92,"endTime":879.78,"body":"early 30s. Actually, well into"},{"startTime":874.92,"endTime":879.78,"body":"my mid 30s I think I had a fair"},{"startTime":879.78,"endTime":884.85,"body":"amount of imposter syndrome"},{"startTime":879.78,"endTime":884.85,"body":"about money and finance. And,"},{"startTime":884.88,"endTime":888.48,"body":"you know, if you're not talking"},{"startTime":884.88,"endTime":888.48,"body":"to anybody about something, you"},{"startTime":888.48,"endTime":893.61,"body":"don't necessarily recognize that"},{"startTime":888.48,"endTime":893.61,"body":"that's not uncommon, but when my"},{"startTime":893.61,"endTime":899.16,"body":"ex and I finally separated in"},{"startTime":893.61,"endTime":899.16,"body":"2017, and we went through the"},{"startTime":899.19,"endTime":902.67,"body":"you know, painful process of"},{"startTime":899.19,"endTime":902.67,"body":"taking inventory of everything"},{"startTime":902.67,"endTime":906.6,"body":"we owned, including our money"},{"startTime":902.67,"endTime":906.6,"body":"and our you know, savings, our"},{"startTime":906.6,"endTime":911.76,"body":"retirement. I was truly at that"},{"startTime":906.6,"endTime":911.76,"body":"point shocked and pretty"},{"startTime":911.76,"endTime":916.32,"body":"horrified at what little we had,"},{"startTime":911.76,"endTime":916.32,"body":"I felt like at that point, we"},{"startTime":916.32,"endTime":919.35,"body":"probably should have had more."},{"startTime":916.32,"endTime":919.35,"body":"But again, I had been sort of"},{"startTime":920.07,"endTime":923.79,"body":"head-in-the-sand about a lot of"},{"startTime":920.07,"endTime":923.79,"body":"it. And I know I've told this"},{"startTime":923.79,"endTime":928.29,"body":"story before some of you have"},{"startTime":923.79,"endTime":928.29,"body":"heard it. But at this point, as"},{"startTime":928.29,"endTime":931.35,"body":"we were going through the"},{"startTime":928.29,"endTime":931.35,"body":"accounting process with the"},{"startTime":931.35,"endTime":934.59,"body":"lawyers, specifically, when we"},{"startTime":931.35,"endTime":934.59,"body":"were looking at my business"},{"startTime":934.59,"endTime":938.37,"body":"income and my expenses, my"},{"startTime":934.59,"endTime":938.37,"body":"lawyer turned to me and asked"},{"startTime":938.49,"endTime":943.65,"body":"when I was going to go back to"},{"startTime":938.49,"endTime":943.65,"body":"my nursing job. And mind you"},{"startTime":943.68,"endTime":947.43,"body":"were talking about five years"},{"startTime":943.68,"endTime":947.43,"body":"after I had quit nursing"},{"startTime":947.43,"endTime":951.78,"body":"altogether, and had been running"},{"startTime":947.43,"endTime":951.78,"body":"what most people would argue was"},{"startTime":951.78,"endTime":954.63,"body":"a successful photography"},{"startTime":951.78,"endTime":954.63,"body":"business at that point for seven"},{"startTime":954.63,"endTime":960.18,"body":"years. So that question, which"},{"startTime":954.63,"endTime":960.18,"body":"was repeated to me after my"},{"startTime":960.18,"endTime":963.78,"body":"lawyer said it by several"},{"startTime":960.18,"endTime":963.78,"body":"well-meaning people over the"},{"startTime":963.78,"endTime":970.35,"body":"course of a bunch of months, was"},{"startTime":963.78,"endTime":970.35,"body":"both humiliating and terrifying."},{"startTime":970.38,"endTime":976.02,"body":"It was like, you know, somebody,"},{"startTime":970.38,"endTime":976.02,"body":"somebody's just looking deep"},{"startTime":976.02,"endTime":978.54,"body":"into my soul, it was like the"},{"startTime":976.02,"endTime":978.54,"body":"men with the clipboards had"},{"startTime":978.54,"endTime":984.21,"body":"shown up. But at the same time,"},{"startTime":978.54,"endTime":984.21,"body":"it was also hugely motivating"},{"startTime":984.21,"endTime":989.19,"body":"for me. So in some ways, I'm"},{"startTime":984.21,"endTime":989.19,"body":"glad now that people were asking"},{"startTime":989.19,"endTime":992.91,"body":"me that question, because it"},{"startTime":989.19,"endTime":992.91,"body":"forced me to really get clear on"},{"startTime":992.91,"endTime":993.78,"body":"what was going on."},{"startTime":994.35,"endTime":999.09,"body":"So faced with this kind of brick"},{"startTime":994.35,"endTime":999.09,"body":"wall of reality, I basically"},{"startTime":999.09,"endTime":1003.77,"body":"dove headfirst into my fear. And"},{"startTime":999.09,"endTime":1003.77,"body":"I decided that I was going to"},{"startTime":1003.77,"endTime":1008.06,"body":"learn everything that well, not"},{"startTime":1003.77,"endTime":1008.06,"body":"everything there was to know."},{"startTime":1008.06,"endTime":1011.27,"body":"But everything I needed to know"},{"startTime":1008.06,"endTime":1011.27,"body":"about personal finance, I was"},{"startTime":1011.27,"endTime":1014.09,"body":"going to get myself to a level"},{"startTime":1011.27,"endTime":1014.09,"body":"where I was comfortable with it,"},{"startTime":1014.09,"endTime":1018.53,"body":"even if I hated it, even if it"},{"startTime":1014.09,"endTime":1018.53,"body":"made my eyes glaze over.Even if"},{"startTime":1018.53,"endTime":1023.45,"body":"it made me like lose sleep at"},{"startTime":1018.53,"endTime":1023.45,"body":"night, because I needed to. And"},{"startTime":1023.45,"endTime":1027.14,"body":"I was going to do whatever it"},{"startTime":1023.45,"endTime":1027.14,"body":"took to get not only my"},{"startTime":1027.14,"endTime":1029.18,"body":"understanding of personal"},{"startTime":1027.14,"endTime":1029.18,"body":"finance, but also my"},{"startTime":1029.18,"endTime":1032.9,"body":"understanding of my business and"},{"startTime":1029.18,"endTime":1032.9,"body":"how that needed to run"},{"startTime":1032.9,"endTime":1037.7,"body":"financially, to a place where I"},{"startTime":1032.9,"endTime":1037.7,"body":"could keep that as my career, I"},{"startTime":1037.7,"endTime":1041.33,"body":"didn't want to have to give up"},{"startTime":1037.7,"endTime":1041.33,"body":"this thing that I loved. And"},{"startTime":1041.33,"endTime":1045.53,"body":"that people told me I was good"},{"startTime":1041.33,"endTime":1045.53,"body":"at and that I took a lot of sort"},{"startTime":1045.53,"endTime":1052.73,"body":"of personal pride and also"},{"startTime":1045.53,"endTime":1052.73,"body":"satisfaction in. So I had run my"},{"startTime":1052.73,"endTime":1054.8,"body":"numbers when I was a new"},{"startTime":1052.73,"endTime":1054.8,"body":"photographer, I think I've"},{"startTime":1054.83,"endTime":1059.15,"body":"shared before that I took a"},{"startTime":1054.83,"endTime":1059.15,"body":"class on setting up a business"},{"startTime":1059.15,"endTime":1061.49,"body":"and it was really helpful for"},{"startTime":1059.15,"endTime":1061.49,"body":"me. And that was how I ended up"},{"startTime":1061.49,"endTime":1064.79,"body":"setting these pretty high prices"},{"startTime":1061.49,"endTime":1064.79,"body":"right from the get go. But the"},{"startTime":1064.79,"endTime":1068.39,"body":"fact of the matter was those"},{"startTime":1064.79,"endTime":1068.39,"body":"original numbers had, you know,"},{"startTime":1068.42,"endTime":1071.87,"body":"almost no bearing on my business"},{"startTime":1068.42,"endTime":1071.87,"body":"seven years, then it was like"},{"startTime":1071.87,"endTime":1074.54,"body":"everything had changed. When I"},{"startTime":1071.87,"endTime":1074.54,"body":"first ran my numbers, I was"},{"startTime":1074.78,"endTime":1078.41,"body":"making a lot of educated guesses"},{"startTime":1074.78,"endTime":1078.41,"body":"about expenses, I was also"},{"startTime":1078.41,"endTime":1083.12,"body":"factoring in expenses that I no"},{"startTime":1078.41,"endTime":1083.12,"body":"longer had, and not factoring in"},{"startTime":1083.12,"endTime":1088.25,"body":"expenses that had come on since"},{"startTime":1083.12,"endTime":1088.25,"body":"I originally ran my numbers. And"},{"startTime":1088.25,"endTime":1091.73,"body":"of course, I was running all of"},{"startTime":1088.25,"endTime":1091.73,"body":"my numbers with the baseline"},{"startTime":1091.73,"endTime":1094.25,"body":"understanding that I had a two"},{"startTime":1091.73,"endTime":1094.25,"body":"income household at the"},{"startTime":1094.25,"endTime":1099.71,"body":"beginning of my career. So I"},{"startTime":1094.25,"endTime":1099.71,"body":"needed to read, like really run"},{"startTime":1099.71,"endTime":1104.48,"body":"those numbers all the way back"},{"startTime":1099.71,"endTime":1104.48,"body":"to like, you know, starting from"},{"startTime":1104.48,"endTime":1111.26,"body":"the ground. So doing that"},{"startTime":1104.48,"endTime":1111.26,"body":"rerunning my numbers was really"},{"startTime":1111.26,"endTime":1116.36,"body":"scary at that point. But it did"},{"startTime":1111.26,"endTime":1116.36,"body":"give me some clarity around the"},{"startTime":1116.36,"endTime":1120.47,"body":"fact that I was in an untenable"},{"startTime":1116.36,"endTime":1120.47,"body":"position, like my lawyer had a"},{"startTime":1120.47,"endTime":1124.91,"body":"point when she asked me when I"},{"startTime":1120.47,"endTime":1124.91,"body":"was going back to my nursing"},{"startTime":1124.91,"endTime":1133.4,"body":"job. And the real crux of the"},{"startTime":1124.91,"endTime":1133.4,"body":"problem was the fact that I"},{"startTime":1134.09,"endTime":1136.7,"body":"looked at this and realized I"},{"startTime":1134.09,"endTime":1136.7,"body":"was either going to have to"},{"startTime":1136.7,"endTime":1140.21,"body":"significantly increase my per"},{"startTime":1136.7,"endTime":1140.21,"body":"session average, which didn't"},{"startTime":1140.21,"endTime":1143.6,"body":"seem feasible because I was"},{"startTime":1140.21,"endTime":1143.6,"body":"already toward the top of my"},{"startTime":1143.6,"endTime":1148.16,"body":"market. Or I was going to have"},{"startTime":1143.6,"endTime":1148.16,"body":"to figure out how to take on a"},{"startTime":1148.16,"endTime":1153.59,"body":"lot more clients. And I"},{"startTime":1148.16,"endTime":1153.59,"body":"literally couldn't, I did not"},{"startTime":1153.59,"endTime":1158.6,"body":"have time in the calendar to do"},{"startTime":1153.59,"endTime":1158.6,"body":"that, given how time consuming"},{"startTime":1158.63,"endTime":1162.11,"body":"my process was because I was"},{"startTime":1158.63,"endTime":1162.11,"body":"using in person sales."},{"startTime":1162.96,"endTime":1166.38,"body":"And I know a lot of you know"},{"startTime":1162.96,"endTime":1166.38,"body":"what came next I'm just going to"},{"startTime":1166.38,"endTime":1170.16,"body":"tell it because it is part of"},{"startTime":1166.38,"endTime":1170.16,"body":"the story but out of at this"},{"startTime":1170.16,"endTime":1172.53,"body":"point sheer desperation I was"},{"startTime":1170.16,"endTime":1172.53,"body":"doing the whole thing where I"},{"startTime":1172.53,"endTime":1176.1,"body":"was like, Okay, well, let's just"},{"startTime":1172.53,"endTime":1176.1,"body":"try and like get really creative"},{"startTime":1176.1,"endTime":1179.97,"body":"about this and what can we"},{"startTime":1176.1,"endTime":1179.97,"body":"change what you know, if this"},{"startTime":1180.69,"endTime":1183.78,"body":"square peg won't fit in a round"},{"startTime":1180.69,"endTime":1183.78,"body":"hole? How can we how can we"},{"startTime":1183.93,"endTime":1189.87,"body":"change the peg? So out of"},{"startTime":1183.93,"endTime":1189.87,"body":"desperation, I developed an"},{"startTime":1189.87,"endTime":1195.51,"body":"implemented what I now call the"},{"startTime":1189.87,"endTime":1195.51,"body":"Simple Sales System and was able"},{"startTime":1195.51,"endTime":1200.61,"body":"to increase my income, decrease"},{"startTime":1195.51,"endTime":1200.61,"body":"my workflow and kind of stablize"},{"startTime":1200.94,"endTime":1207.09,"body":"my life.  My business felt like"},{"startTime":1200.94,"endTime":1207.09,"body":"it was way more manageable. And"},{"startTime":1207.09,"endTime":1210.54,"body":"you know, here I am almost five"},{"startTime":1207.09,"endTime":1210.54,"body":"years later with a thriving"},{"startTime":1210.54,"endTime":1213.18,"body":"photo business that has allowed"},{"startTime":1210.54,"endTime":1213.18,"body":"me to continue to provide for"},{"startTime":1213.18,"endTime":1217.08,"body":"myself and my kids, while doing"},{"startTime":1213.18,"endTime":1217.08,"body":"all the other things, supporting"},{"startTime":1217.08,"endTime":1221.4,"body":"causes and charities, funding my"},{"startTime":1217.08,"endTime":1221.4,"body":"retirement accounts, and even"},{"startTime":1221.4,"endTime":1224.16,"body":"going in on a little cottage on"},{"startTime":1221.4,"endTime":1224.16,"body":"the coast with my partner and"},{"startTime":1224.16,"endTime":1226.53,"body":"our best friends this past"},{"startTime":1224.16,"endTime":1226.53,"body":"spring, which was really fun."},{"startTime":1227.49,"endTime":1232.14,"body":"And I will pause really quickly"},{"startTime":1227.49,"endTime":1232.14,"body":"here to say that if you don't"},{"startTime":1232.17,"endTime":1235.02,"body":"know about my Simple Sales"},{"startTime":1232.17,"endTime":1235.02,"body":"System, if you don't know how"},{"startTime":1235.02,"endTime":1238.86,"body":"that works, I want you to sign"},{"startTime":1235.02,"endTime":1238.86,"body":"up for my free masterclass,"},{"startTime":1238.86,"endTime":1241.83,"body":"where I walk you through the six"},{"startTime":1238.86,"endTime":1241.83,"body":"steps that have allowed me to"},{"startTime":1242.46,"endTime":1245.31,"body":"turn these lessons that I"},{"startTime":1242.46,"endTime":1245.31,"body":"learned in those seven years of"},{"startTime":1245.31,"endTime":1249.24,"body":"in person sales into an"},{"startTime":1245.31,"endTime":1249.24,"body":"automated system that creates"},{"startTime":1249.24,"endTime":1253.47,"body":"guaranteed profit and a great"},{"startTime":1249.24,"endTime":1253.47,"body":"client experience. Without pushy"},{"startTime":1253.47,"endTime":1259.23,"body":"selling or this time consuming"},{"startTime":1253.47,"endTime":1259.23,"body":"process of in person sales. It"},{"startTime":1259.23,"endTime":1262.92,"body":"is even if it's not right for"},{"startTime":1259.23,"endTime":1262.92,"body":"you, it is a system that is"},{"startTime":1262.92,"endTime":1265.47,"body":"working for people all over the"},{"startTime":1262.92,"endTime":1265.47,"body":"world, I think it's worth"},{"startTime":1265.47,"endTime":1269.79,"body":"learning about. So if this money"},{"startTime":1265.47,"endTime":1269.79,"body":"conversation resonates for you,"},{"startTime":1269.79,"endTime":1272.31,"body":"and you don't know about Simple"},{"startTime":1269.79,"endTime":1272.31,"body":"Sales, I want you to go do that"},{"startTime":1272.31,"endTime":1275.55,"body":"it's you can find the link in"},{"startTime":1272.31,"endTime":1275.55,"body":"the show notes or you can go to"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1276.42,"endTime":1280.02,"body":"//www.thiscantbethathard.com/simple"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1276.42,"endTime":1280.02,"body":"to sign up, it is free."},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1280.9,"endTime":1286.24,"body":"But back to the story. How did I"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1280.9,"endTime":1286.24,"body":"get from where I was to where I"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1286.24,"endTime":1295.63,"body":"am now? Right? I would say that"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1286.24,"endTime":1295.63,"body":"the biggest shift is that I"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1295.63,"endTime":1300.16,"body":"would say that the biggest shift"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1295.63,"endTime":1300.16,"body":"is really one having to do with"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1300.19,"endTime":1307.18,"body":"mindset. I no longer regard"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1300.19,"endTime":1307.18,"body":"money as an adversary or"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1307.21,"endTime":1311.47,"body":"something to be afraid of, or an"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1307.21,"endTime":1311.47,"body":"anchor that's like weighing me"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1311.47,"endTime":1316.36,"body":"down. Now I see it for what I"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1311.47,"endTime":1316.36,"body":"believe it really is, which is a"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1316.36,"endTime":1321.34,"body":"reality in our lives, that is"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1316.36,"endTime":1321.34,"body":"necessary to a certain degree."},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1321.37,"endTime":1326.35,"body":"And beyond that level of"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1321.37,"endTime":1326.35,"body":"necessity, it becomes a tool"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1326.38,"endTime":1331.06,"body":"that when used properly, can"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1326.38,"endTime":1331.06,"body":"really be leveraged to create a"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1331.06,"endTime":1337.18,"body":"rich life. And when I say a rich"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1331.06,"endTime":1337.18,"body":"life, I am not walking around"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1337.21,"endTime":1341.65,"body":"dripping in diamonds or you"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1337.21,"endTime":1341.65,"body":"know, I'm still driving my 2002"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1341.65,"endTime":1344.71,"body":"Camry for those of you who have"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1341.65,"endTime":1344.71,"body":"followed my car story for a long"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1344.71,"endTime":1351.07,"body":"time. You know, I generally am"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1344.71,"endTime":1351.07,"body":"pretty, like frugal and I I live"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1351.1,"endTime":1357.64,"body":"in a relatively low impact kind"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1351.1,"endTime":1357.64,"body":"of way. But I do spend many"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1357.67,"endTime":1361.57,"body":"money on things that are"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1357.67,"endTime":1361.57,"body":"important to me, I like I'm able"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1361.57,"endTime":1366.97,"body":"to take opportunities that I'm"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1361.57,"endTime":1366.97,"body":"excited to take be they trips to"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1366.97,"endTime":1372.94,"body":"Iceland or anything else. I"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1366.97,"endTime":1372.94,"body":"think that it you know, I tried"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1372.94,"endTime":1376.18,"body":"to be really intentional,"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1372.94,"endTime":1376.18,"body":"intentional about not only the"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1376.18,"endTime":1381.07,"body":"way that I earn money, but also"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1376.18,"endTime":1381.07,"body":"the way that I spend it. And"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1381.1,"endTime":1384.43,"body":"what I also think I've learned"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1381.1,"endTime":1384.43,"body":"is that the worst thing that you"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1384.43,"endTime":1388.84,"body":"can do when it comes to money is"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1384.43,"endTime":1388.84,"body":"to try and ignore it altogether."},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1388.87,"endTime":1392.65,"body":"That was at least my biggest"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1388.87,"endTime":1392.65,"body":"mistake. I think at best"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1392.65,"endTime":1396.7,"body":"ignoring money will mean missing"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1392.65,"endTime":1396.7,"body":"opportunities to live that more"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1396.7,"endTime":1401.98,"body":"intentional life or to be able"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1396.7,"endTime":1401.98,"body":"to say yes to things. And at"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1401.98,"endTime":1406.81,"body":"worst, and possibly more likely,"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1401.98,"endTime":1406.81,"body":"if you're really ignoring it as"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1406.81,"endTime":1414.1,"body":"that that act of ignoring it can"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1406.81,"endTime":1414.1,"body":"end in disaster. So, you know, I"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1414.1,"endTime":1418.21,"body":"never hit what anyone would call"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1414.1,"endTime":1418.21,"body":"rock bottom, I had shelter and"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1418.21,"endTime":1421.3,"body":"food and medical insurance and"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1418.21,"endTime":1421.3,"body":"the freedom to make choices"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1421.3,"endTime":1424.6,"body":"about my career and a whole lot"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1421.3,"endTime":1424.6,"body":"more. So don't get me wrong. I'm"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1424.6,"endTime":1428.86,"body":"not trying to paint this as some"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1424.6,"endTime":1428.86,"body":"sort of like hero's journey. But"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1429.04,"endTime":1431.83,"body":"we all know that when you're in"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1429.04,"endTime":1431.83,"body":"the midst of a situation, it can"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1431.83,"endTime":1437.29,"body":"feel really dire, even if it's"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1431.83,"endTime":1437.29,"body":"not dire by sort of objective"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1437.29,"endTime":1441.25,"body":"standards. And if you had talked"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1437.29,"endTime":1441.25,"body":"to me in the spring or summer of"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1441.25,"endTime":1445.75,"body":"2017 between this money"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1441.25,"endTime":1445.75,"body":"situation, and then just going"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1445.75,"endTime":1449.17,"body":"through a divorce in general, I"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1445.75,"endTime":1449.17,"body":"certainly felt like I was at"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1449.17,"endTime":1456.28,"body":"rock bottom, I was scared,"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1449.17,"endTime":1456.28,"body":"uncertain, I was ashamed. Really"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1456.28,"endTime":1461.26,"body":"all the negative things that I"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1456.28,"endTime":1461.26,"body":"listed at the beginning in that,"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1461.29,"endTime":1464.02,"body":"you know, of these survey"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1461.29,"endTime":1464.02,"body":"responses that my students"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1464.02,"endTime":1471.37,"body":"filled out, I was feeling those"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1464.02,"endTime":1471.37,"body":"I was I was in a place of a lot"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1471.37,"endTime":1478.27,"body":"of scarcity and fear. And now I"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1471.37,"endTime":1478.27,"body":"am so grateful looking back. I'm"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1478.27,"endTime":1481.93,"body":"grateful to myself really for"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1478.27,"endTime":1481.93,"body":"being willing to turn and look"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1481.93,"endTime":1483.31,"body":"that fear in the eye."},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1484.89,"endTime":1490.08,"body":"And then I had a couple of good"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1484.89,"endTime":1490.08,"body":"friends who were also major"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1490.08,"endTime":1494.04,"body":"sources of encouragement and"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1490.08,"endTime":1494.04,"body":"education when it came to money."},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1494.34,"endTime":1498.84,"body":"And so I'm grateful for that as"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1494.34,"endTime":1498.84,"body":"well. And what I have learned"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1498.87,"endTime":1502.86,"body":"has not only helped me gain"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1498.87,"endTime":1502.86,"body":"financial freedom, it's also"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1502.86,"endTime":1507.0,"body":"helped me shed an enormous"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1502.86,"endTime":1507.0,"body":"amount of stress and fear that"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1507.0,"endTime":1510.72,"body":"were related to the unknowns"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1507.0,"endTime":1510.72,"body":"that I had around money. It's"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1510.72,"endTime":1515.97,"body":"like, before I was that little"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1510.72,"endTime":1515.97,"body":"kid in the dark room who was"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1515.97,"endTime":1519.69,"body":"like, getting more and more"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1515.97,"endTime":1519.69,"body":"panicked about the monsters in"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1519.69,"endTime":1525.99,"body":"the shadows. And, you know, then"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1519.69,"endTime":1525.99,"body":"somebody came in and flipped on"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1525.99,"endTime":1529.02,"body":"a light, or I decided to get up"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1525.99,"endTime":1529.02,"body":"out of bed and flip on the light"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1529.02,"endTime":1533.31,"body":"myself. And, sure, you know,"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1529.02,"endTime":1533.31,"body":"there's always a chance that"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1533.31,"endTime":1537.18,"body":"there's going to be a monster in"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1533.31,"endTime":1537.18,"body":"the corner. But at least with"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1537.18,"endTime":1541.56,"body":"the light on you can, you know,"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1537.18,"endTime":1541.56,"body":"see it and kill it I, I"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1541.56,"endTime":1545.43,"body":"definitely had, if not full"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1541.56,"endTime":1545.43,"body":"blown monsters, I had what we're"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1545.46,"endTime":1549.06,"body":"developing into some monsters,"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1545.46,"endTime":1549.06,"body":"and I did it took a fair amount"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1549.06,"endTime":1554.04,"body":"of work to get to a place where"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1549.06,"endTime":1554.04,"body":"I didn't feel that but now"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1554.04,"endTime":1555.93,"body":"lights are on and I feel good"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1554.04,"endTime":1555.93,"body":"about it."},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1556.44,"endTime":1560.55,"body":"But if you are in that dark"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1556.44,"endTime":1560.55,"body":"place, I promise, I totally get"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1560.55,"endTime":1564.39,"body":"it. That's why I wanted to tell"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1560.55,"endTime":1564.39,"body":"this story today. And I am 100%"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1564.78,"endTime":1569.79,"body":"here to cheer you on. If you"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1564.78,"endTime":1569.79,"body":"decide and as you decide to make"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1569.79,"endTime":1573.84,"body":"that decision to turn on the"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1569.79,"endTime":1573.84,"body":"light. There is no shame in"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1573.84,"endTime":1576.93,"body":"starting a business without"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1573.84,"endTime":1576.93,"body":"fully understanding the monetary"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1576.93,"endTime":1580.83,"body":"side of it. My guess is that"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1576.93,"endTime":1580.83,"body":"that's like 90% of the people"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1581.01,"endTime":1584.61,"body":"that are out there running"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1581.01,"endTime":1584.61,"body":"businesses, even the people that"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1584.61,"endTime":1589.44,"body":"you think are have it all under"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1584.61,"endTime":1589.44,"body":"control, I promise you, most of"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1589.44,"endTime":1593.4,"body":"them don't, they are probably in"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1589.44,"endTime":1593.4,"body":"exactly the same situation. But"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1594.27,"endTime":1598.11,"body":"although there is no shame in"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1594.27,"endTime":1598.11,"body":"starting a business or running a"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1598.11,"endTime":1601.71,"body":"business without understanding"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1598.11,"endTime":1601.71,"body":"that money thing, there"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1601.71,"endTime":1606.9,"body":"definitely is risk. So I hope"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1601.71,"endTime":1606.9,"body":"you decide to turn on the light."},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1607.23,"endTime":1610.35,"body":"I hope you decide to build a"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1607.23,"endTime":1610.35,"body":"business that you and the people"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1610.35,"endTime":1615.09,"body":"that you provide for can"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1610.35,"endTime":1615.09,"body":"absolutely rely on because it's"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1615.09,"endTime":1620.34,"body":"a place in your life and in your"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1615.09,"endTime":1620.34,"body":"mind that my own experience"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1620.34,"endTime":1622.83,"body":"tells me feels a lot better."},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1624.09,"endTime":1627.48,"body":"Anyway, thanks for listening to"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1624.09,"endTime":1627.48,"body":"my story. I hope you guys have a"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1627.48,"endTime":1628.17,"body":"great week."},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1629.28,"endTime":1632.13,"body":"Well, that's it for this week's"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1629.28,"endTime":1632.13,"body":"episode of this can't be that"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1632.13,"endTime":1636.09,"body":"hard. I'll be back Same time,"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1632.13,"endTime":1636.09,"body":"same place next week. In the"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1636.09,"endTime":1639.15,"body":"meantime, you can find more"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1636.09,"endTime":1639.15,"body":"information about this episode"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1639.18,"endTime":1642.66,"body":"along with all the relevant"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1639.18,"endTime":1642.66,"body":"links, notes and downloads at"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1642.66,"endTime":1646.38,"body":"this can't be that hard.com"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1642.66,"endTime":1646.38,"body":"slash learn. If you like the"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1646.38,"endTime":1649.92,"body":"podcast, be sure to hit the"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1646.38,"endTime":1649.92,"body":"subscribe button. Even better,"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1650.1,"endTime":1653.76,"body":"share the love by leaving a"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1650.1,"endTime":1653.76,"body":"review in iTunes. And as always,"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1653.94,"endTime":1657.45,"body":"thanks so much for joining me. I"},{"speaker":"https","startTime":1653.94,"endTime":1657.45,"body":"hope you have a fantastic week."}]}