Rethinking Teacher Self Care

What does teacher self care actually mean?  Special Guest and Veteran Teacher of 20 years Sarah Meyer shares her self care journey as an educator and mom. Say goodbye to toxic positivity that is so common in schools and hello to actual steps that can support educator mental health.  

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Transcript

Speaker 1 0:21

Hey , everyone. Welcome to learners and leaders. The education podcast I'm Huda Jen is off today, but I am joined by a fellow educator and someone that I'm really excited for our audience to meet Sarah Meyer . Sarah is currently a fifth grade teacher based outta Michigan, and she is here to discuss teacher self care and not to be cliche, because if you Google teach self care , there's lots of advice to get your nails done and to eat a lunch at school. But today we're going to be rethinking teacher self care . Our profession is definitely in a crisis in our state of Michigan. The number of retirements has increased 40% over the past few , and we see many, many prestigious and super qualified people leaving our field. And we think that rethinking self care and really health teachers can advocate for themselves is one of the solutions to the systematic issues. Sarah , will you tell us a little bit about yourself?

Speaker 2 1:17

I will. First of all, thank you so much for this opportunity. I'm so excited to work with you and to give teachers a voice because as you and I discussed, when we were first talking, we need more teachers speaking to teachers. That's, that's one of the things I feel most passionately about. So my name is Sarah Meyer . Um , I teach fifth grade in Michigan. This is my 19th year teaching. I've all . So to hot . Um, third, seventh and eighth grade and fifth grade is just where I really feel at home. Um, I'm a mom to two little ones, four and two. And I also think that it's really important that I recognize that I don't necessarily look like or come from the same places that my students do. And that's one of the things that I'm trying to really be , um, cognizant about. As I lead my classroom, I'm a Caucasian woman , um, living in a middle class environment and I really try and keep that at the forefront of my mind and how that oftentimes may affect my teaching.

Speaker 1 2:28

You know, Sarah , that's such a powerful thing that you said right there. I think a lot of educators don't always have pause and say, you know, how do I acknowledge diversity and equity in the classroom and how do I support and empower my students and give them a voice in the curriculum that we teach. So I think that was a super powerful thing and it just speaks, I think, to a lot of us, but it's very hard to do that kind of work that you're doing in the classroom while teaching in a pandemic while classrooms are quarantining and just everything that's going on. So how do we move our profession while also supporting teachers? And I think that's such an important thing for us to talk about we're approaching the new year and many teachers that I've talked to are exhausted and they're not ready to go back. And I said this to Sarah before we started reporting, I can't speak to the issues that teachers are facing because I'm now out of the classroom. I know what challenges I had in the classroom, but I left the classroom in March, 2021 and I moved into an administrator role. So yes, administrators are stretched and they're challenged. I have to tell you, keep everyone that works in schools in your thoughts, because it's just really hard times, but I think our teachers are really struggling and the people that are leaving the field are people that we don't want to leave. These are our veteran, our exceptional educators, people that really can improve outcomes for our learner and in their school communities. And, you know, people will say, Sarah , what's wrong with your teachers. You just had two weeks off. And I always say this, you can't fix burnout in two weeks.

Speaker 2 4:10

No.

Speaker 1 4:12

And you're a mom to little ones too. So I am , I can't wait to hear about how you balance that because I know towards the , the end of my time in the classroom, I was coming home spent , and I have a little one at home too. And I felt like I'm using of all my energy at school and then I'm coming home and I'm just not the best version of myself. And I just wonder, what are your experiences though? Like how do you bring self-care home?

Speaker 2 4:39

Okay. So I think that there are two sort of ways that I'm going to speak to this. I'm going to speak to what I do to self care for myself as an actual human being things that have to be done for me to function as myself as a wife, as a mother, as a sister, as a community member. Um, I take my responsibility in this community very seriously. I see how much the people in this community lean on our El elementary school and on the district itself. And, and I really take that to heart. And I know that if I am not the best version of myself, I cannot give to all of these other people I know from the encounters that you and I have had and from the discussions that you and I have had. And I also know from being in the field for as long as I have, we do not need anyone else telling us to make a green smoothie, to light a candle, to take a bubble bath . We all know that the people I teach with are the finest educators I have ever had the pleasure of working with. I , I can't, I always say I couldn't be the kind of teacher I am. If I wasn't supported by the staff that I'm supported by , I get to be Mrs. Meyer though , and do the things I do because they do the things they do when I go home. And I made a list because it really is important to me that I communicate to your audience, that there is not one thing. There is not make a smoothie in the morning and run on a treadmill and that's gonna fix all of this. That is , there is no fix, but there are some things that I do that I really feel are helping me make it through difficult years. And like you said, once I became a mother that made everything that it added, you know, an entirely different component. And it really forced me to identify that I have a finite amount of time and energy, right. And, and before my kids, I was the person whose car was in the parking lot, the longest and , and was on every committee. And, and I can't do that anymore. And that's okay too, because this is a season. So I made a list. This , these are things that I do and, and feel free to stop me. And, and, you know, if there are things that you want to point out that you feel strongly about , um, you know, some of them may not appeal to, to everyone, but this is what works for me. Um, I have to move my body daily. That does not mean I am running marathons. <laugh> it means there are some days on a Thursday where I will, you know, there are some days where I get a great workout in. There are some days where it just means that I say to myself, you have to get up and stretch for five minutes that you , you have to move your body before you go there. Um, I set a bedtime for myself on work days . You have , I have to go to bed at a certain time. What time do you go to bed, Sarah ? You know, my goal is nine 30. It's usually 10, it's sometimes 10 30. And I think it's really important that we give all of those parents of young kids or are people caring for others? Because I know a lot of people are caretakers of older family members, anyone caring for others and being woken during the night that has to be acknowledged because that throws a whole different, you know, it , it throws you and, and the movement thing for me, didn't become a routine until last year when my so on turned one. And I think that that's important that we acknowledge that, that wasn't something I could get done when I was getting interrupted at night two and three and four times. So , um, I sat a bedtime. I tried to , so what you're saying

Speaker 1 8:33

Is teachers exist outside of school as people. So we exist AST as parents , as caregivers, as community members, as spouses, as partners. Um, and to just kind of realize that the humanness, I think putting the humanness first over productivity, and I said this, I think in a few podcast that go , I feel like school districts haven't really learned any lessons from the pandemic. Like we are the operating business as usual. And we don't really, we have to learn in really good lessons. Um, we just kind of seem to be like , all right , everything's back to normal. We have less staff, we have less bus drivers. We, you know, but you have to operate as normal. And I think even before the pandemic, I don't think teachers were ever seen as human beings. And as you're talking, you're humanizing a profession that for a long time, I think we're relied on. I think we carry a huge load for our communities and our families, but we're not supported in ways that allows us to do it sustainably. But right now you couldn't sustain being the first part in last car out . No , because it doesn't work anymore for you. Nope . So I just think that's really important. And you're , you know, as you were talking, it just made me think like the humanness of the education field, I think is forgotten very often.

Speaker 2 9:51

I agree. And I don't know what your experience was like, but I had this expectation of myself that I was this perfect robot throughout the day that my students never could see me , um, flustered that they could never see me tend to my personal life. You know, a couple days before break, I said to my students, my son is sick at daycare. I need to call his doctor while I do that. I am asking you to do X, Y, and Z . You are going to see me on the phone while I'm speaking with the doctor's office, because I respect you so much. I know you're going to respect me while I'm doing that. And then once I get his doctor's appointment set, his dad is going to take him to the doctor and we will move on. And I would've, I would've been very, very uncomfortable doing that five years ago, but I've, I've had to give myself the permission to allow them to see me as a human and to , to do that. I'm , I'm my son's mother first. I , I have to do that. And I do feel very supported by my boss. Yeah . She always makes sure to tell us family comes first, but I think that was an expectation. I placed on self , the robotic right . Perfection.

Speaker 1 11:00

Exactly. And you know, my last two years I caught fourth grade. Okay . And whenever Emily was sick or her daycare called the kids would know, and I would take the call during the day and they would be so quiet. Like even the ones that you know, could use the opportunity. So kids are phenomenal. I think they're naturally very empathetic. And I think, you know, there's a fine line, right? We don't want teachers going and be like, oh, my boyfriend broke up with me like that . Right . Like, I mean, right. But I think showing kids that sometimes, Hey, this is going on, I'll be right with you. I think it also allows them to also humanize their teachers. I mean, why do kids get so surprised when they see us at the grocery store? They think we live at school. My students used to think I lived in the classroom because I had a microwave and a fridge and that we never see you leave <laugh> and you know what I mean? So I think that giving yourself permission, and I think that's just an unwritten rule that teachers make for themselves. We make a lot of rules. Oh, I need to serve on every committee. <affirmative> I need to attend every after school meeting, I need to work through my prep. I need to work through my lunch. Um, I can't take a day off because my class is going to be split. And my colleagues are either gonna lose a prep, which are far and few in between, or they're gonna have to take five or six of my students. So we kind of guilt ourselves into doing things that really aren't healthy and aren't really sustainable in the long run. So you talked a little bit about what you do in the classroom for self care . Do you mind if we shift that way and kind of talk about what are some of your prep right now that you feel are putting your health and your capacity first?

Speaker 2 12:38

I wanna , can I wanna do that? I wanna tell you my like, absolute best , um, help though for, for prioritizing myself as a human. And I feel very passionately about this because I feel like for so long, it's been taboo. I have worked with a therapist for at least the last 16 or 17 years, and I credit her now and I've had different ones. The one that I'm currently with is , um, I've been with her since, before I was married. So, so maybe like eight or nine years. And she is such a fun nominal anchor in my life. She is so pro-education and so pro-woman, and pro-human, and ProTeacher, and she will help me when I need to vent and ask and cry and say, am I doing this right ? What do you think? And I, if there is one piece of advice in terms of something that you can add to your own self care routine for the new year, it would be to spend time finding a therapist that you can form a relationship with, who can help you, because I don't know what your experience is . <affirmative> not a lot of people are necessarily looking to regularly discuss the ins and outs of the classroom. So it helps me to have someone listen to me. She is , she's just, she is someone I am so thankful for. And I credit her with, with the educator I've become really, because she's helped me, you know, just sort of make decisions surrounding things and , um, understand, you know, current goings on and how to deal in the pandemic and things like that. So, okay. I just had , I had to plug therapy a

Speaker 1 14:35

No, I think that is so amazing. And I'm so, so, so, so glad that you shared that with us, because I think it's powerful. I think it's powerful to be able to say, Hey, I've been doing this work and it's helped me as a human and as an educator and just as how you show up in the world. So I would highly encourage , um , I've talked to many people , um, you know, sometimes you are able to vent with your colleagues, but even that has its limits and you're not sharing everything and you're not sharing why your nervous system is not regulated with your colleagues, but that is something that you can share with a licensed professional therapist and a few , um , episodes ago when we had fate on with us, that felt like I went to therapy with her, just unpacking things with them . So I definitely think school districts talk about social, emotional a lot. And I think it's turned into kind of something we say, but we don't do. And I think , um, having like a P D after school about , um , self care doesn't work, right? You're keeping people after work or you're sending them along email, or you're having them write a paragraph about self care . And that's just not knowing the state of mental health and education right now. That's not something we can unpack yeah . In a staff meeting. Yeah . But going your route, finding somebody who's licensed, somebody that you can click with somebody that you can share with. I think that's incredibly powerful and I think it makes us all stronger because we can manage our minds around some really difficult situations. So thank

Speaker 2 16:02

You. You're welcome.

Speaker 1 16:05

Did you want to share , um, what are some of your strategies for the classroom? I know for me later on in the classroom, I did less, I did fewer things, but I did 'em better. Yep . Like I was just, I felt like my last few years, just cause of the time crunch. Yep . I had to kind of become really lean, like, okay. Yep . That has to go. And I can't serve on every committee. Yep . And if my team doesn't want to do the same lesson as me, that's fine. I'm not going to well on it anymore. Like I let a lot of things go and people would say at work, well, you seem less tense. You seem more relaxed. And I'm like, oh God, I wonder what I was showing up as in the first six or seven years of my teaching. But after I became a mom, I was able to really conceptualize, okay. That doesn't matter. This doesn't matter. Can't do that anymore. What's been your experience in the classroom in terms of self care .

Speaker 2 16:56

So I wrote about this because I sometimes dabble in blogging. And like I said, in the beginning, I think it's really important that teachers talk to other teachers and we're not given that opportunity enough, unstructured, just time to sit and say, and talk and talk like you and I are talking this what you and I are doing right now is so much more valuable to me than me sitting and taking notes off a PowerPoint. I just don't wanna do that anymore. I right . That is not serving me right now. It is not serving my students and connecting with other humans is what is helping me. Um, so I , I made a list of the things that helped me in my classroom. Going back to that robotic perfection. One of the things that is most difficult for me right now in the current day and age. And I would think that a lot of people would agree with this . And again, I teach elementary school for, so for those folks in secondary, this may not necessarily look the the same, but the interruptions throughout the day, we have late buses. We have staff being pulled that you rely on to take a group. Now they're not taking that group. Yep . The office is calling that there's a parent on the phone who wants their kid right now there's a kid at the door. The bus shows up and, or the bus didn't show up. And every kid from that bus was then driven. So they are all arriving individually. And because of safety, we have to keep the door locked. So then it's a separate knock for each individual. Right? And, and I have alarms going off on my phone for students who need to take medication during the day. And it's my responsibility to know when that is going on. And five years ago, you know, I mean for a very long time, from the beginning of my career, until just recently, I say five years ago, but I don't even think it was that long ago. I used to be so hard on myself and, and think I've gotta , I've gotta keep this lesson seamless. I've gotta keep going, keep going, keep their attention, keep them engaged. Don't worry. And now I say to myself, Sarah , you are not the only person working in this equation. It is not your fault individually that there are late buses. Mm-hmm , <affirmative> , it is not your fault that there is a labor shortage in this country. You, you are here, you are showing up for them. Yes, you are sad because that student needs that individual one-on-one support from another person. And you wanna give it to him and you wanna teach the class, but you can't. So when those moments happen and I don't know what they present, like for other people in me, they present as panic. Like I, I can feel myself, start to panic. I'm losing them. I'm they're not interested in the lesson. And it's not even that it's that they're normal human beings and there's things the , on all around them, the PA is coming on. Now this bus has arrived. Now it's picture day. Now we need this group to it . Book fair , bring it . Oh , right . Or , you know, someone wants to come in and speak to them . And it's just like, I tell myself, acknowledge the reality . <affirmative> you are here. You are running the lesson to the best of your ability. You are doing the best. You can do not put the pressure on yourself to give every single lesson to make sure every single lesson is perfect. It , it just doesn't work that way. And, and if 2021 has taught us anything, it's <affirmative> , the interruptions are, are on ending . They mm-hmm <affirmative> all day long. It is. And , and I have tried to devise systems and come up with this person is the door opener. And that person is the, this, and you know, I have 33 kids in my class. If, if seven of them are arriving late, excuse me, or people are leaving early or people forgot things. It's just, it's, it's gonna be interrupted. So I try to tell myself, Le do not take the interruptions personally. Mm-hmm <affirmative> um, another thing I do that has been serving me well is knowing my triggers. So something, for some reason that really triggers me is at my school. When you get a new student in your class, you get a red flag email that says new student, there is no one to give you any background on this person. The desk is not even delivered. You then have to email the custodian. Can I have a desk? Then the desk is delivered. There is no chair. And it just really throws me into a tailspin. And again, in the past, my expectation naturally has been, oh, a new student. I have to, to catch this person up and make them feel part of the classroom community. And you know, because as teachers, I really believe we're all doing this because we're such good humans, but that's not fair to us. You cannot take a student coming in two days before Christmas break, get them, all the materials that you've done since September, get their parents email address , familiarize them with the school, acclimate them to the classroom climate and all of that. So that knowing your trigger is helpful, you know, mm-hmm <affirmative> , and that is one of my , the interruptions are one of mine. And, and when those things happen, I try to say myself again, not in your control, like, let it, let it go. You have a new student, this person was put in your life for a reason. You are going to be fantastic with this person, but you do not owe this person. Every single thing that was missed since they've arrived. Right.

Speaker 1 22:43

Definitely. And two things, as you were talking about new students coming, first of all, yeah . For whatever reason, school districts move really slow on things like, right . Just forever to get a desk forever , to get a chair forever , to get , um , your SSIS student information system updated. Like it just right. And you know , part of that is on teachers. I think after if teachers were doing that stuff, it would get done faster because we don't waste. Um, and then also your students are kind of watching you. <affirmative> how you navigate these situations and they're developing as humans and as people. And I think you just kind of going with it, even though on the inside, you're like, oh my God, that alarm goes off one more time. But as you go through with it and you're showing them how you cope, I think that's a fantastic lesson right there and of itself. And I've come back to my students when I was in the classroom. And I would say , guys, I just don't think we got that math lesson done yesterday. I'd like to do it again with you before you raise your hand and say, Hey, we already did this. I don't feel like it was a hundred percent because just different things happened and it was cool, but it took me a long time to not be stuck to my, a pacing guide, to not be stuck to the schedule on the wall and just to kind of be more flexible. And I think it sounds like you have some really good strategies for some really challenging situations. I think it takes a very special person to teach. It takes an even more special person to do it for what, 19 years. Yeah.

Speaker 2 24:10

Yeah.

Speaker 1 24:11

So you obviously have a really good system going, and it's just, I'm proud to know you. I'm proud that you came on our podcast. So like thank you so much, Sarah , before I do the pop quiz with you, I usually get, are you ready for the pop quiz or is there anything you wanted to share with our audience before we jump into the pop quiz?

Speaker 2 24:30

I just wanna say too , first of all, I have to thank you again, because like I said, I told a couple of my teaching friends that I had the opportunity to do this. And they were like, you have to tell us when it happens because we lean on each other. So I just, I and my husband, before I came upstairs to do the podcast, I said, I'm going to talk about teaching. So, you know, I'm gonna be chatting away. I just, I, I think connection between teachers right now is more important than ever before. Um, and I encourage everyone in the field. It just seems so cliche. But to , to really just keep that kind conversation open, I feel like there's so much toxic positivity and so much gaslighting surrounding all of this right. Candles and baths and jeans passes and all of that. We all know people on the ground know that that's not the answer right now, but authentic conversation with a individuals who truly are looking to move the needle forward is where it's at. And I , and I do believe that

Speaker 1 25:31

Absolutely. I don't think we can bubble back our way out of what teachers are experiencing and other people that work in . I think everybody that works in education is feeling this. I work on the administrator side, but I also work with teachers and support staff. <affirmative> everybody's feeling it , but I always feel like the burden at the end of the day is really heavy on teachers. And I think once we start talking about it, it can help us collectively advocate for each other as well. Um, I did wanna ask you some questions. Yes. Art ready , Sarah . Yes. I made them easy. You should see the , as I ask Jen , sometimes <laugh> , she'll call me after we record . And she's like, really? Those are the questions you thought of. Um , okay , so you teach fifth grade. I know you've taught other grades. Do you have favorite subjects to teach?

Speaker 2 26:20

Do I love, love teaching, writing, and reading? I'm gonna group 'em as one, but, and I know they're two , but I love writing and reading. They're my absolute favorite to teach.

Speaker 1 26:31

Why did I say, why did I think you were going to say math,

Speaker 2 26:35

Do a math.

Speaker 1 26:39

We need to do an episode about , um, writing actually, Jen and I just recorded one called what to do about writing and that's turn into like a series because we actually uncovered more questions than answers. So you might need to help us with our writing episodes.

Speaker 2 26:53

Writing. What I have found is if, if you don't love it, it's really difficult. Like people have confided in me and said, I , I love that you love it. And I don't, and it really scares me. And I respect them for that because I feel the same way about science. So I think, I think everybody's got their passion, no

Speaker 1 27:12

Shame. I used to put writing at the end of the day in the hopes that we would run out of time. Totally get it.

Speaker 2 27:17

I didn't have to teach it . Totally

Speaker 1 27:18

Get it. Yeah . You've ever done that with science. <laugh> all the time. When you leave for the sub , I'm like , Hey , the substitute can do the signs with you. Okay . I see you drinking tea. Are you a coffee drinker?

Speaker 2 27:30

Okay. So I pride myself. I'm being very authentic to get myself through 2020. I drink so much coffee that I, my body just stops to tolerate. So I had to cut it out. So yes. Now I drink tea because my body had plenty of coffee in 2020 for the rest of its go here .

Speaker 1 27:54

Yes . I think I'm better off without coffee too. It makes me awfully to drink. Um , it does. It does. Okay . Last question. Yeah . Do you have a favorite children spoke author.

Speaker 2 28:05

Okay . So I love my absolute favorite thing to do with my kids is read my own children. Um, and right now my son is reading Sesame street books. Like any book with Sesame street characters. He loves my daughter is really into biographies of famous women, which I also love in the classroom though. I , I have to give a shout out to two authors who I really feel like help me get kids hooked on reading every year. And that is Reina Telegamy and Kwame Alexander every year kids come in and they're like, yeah, I'm just not, I'm not, don't really like reading. And I'm like, oh , well buckle up, cuz you're going to this year. And those two Reina Toga Meer with graphic novels and Kwame Alexander writes in verse right in a lot of his books. Um, they always help me like break that barrier and help kids gain , um, confidence as readers and develop stamina. So those two are my tried and true secrets for September. I always break those out. And now it's so exciting in the classroom because now that they've got that confidence, that's when I really start to roll, you know, other things out. But I would say those two, I'm so thankful to , um, for what they've done in terms of helping kids realize that everyone can be a reader.

Speaker 1 29:25

I love that, you know, and we will put those authors names in the show notes, so wonderful because I'm not familiar with them , but okay . I would love to put them the show notes. Wonderful. Definitely . Thank you so much, everyone. Thank you so much for joining us . Please leave feedback. Comments reviews, Sarah . Thank you so much for joining us and happy , happy year . You'll be back on the podcast for sure. Just a matter of time. <affirmative>

Speaker 2 29:47

Thank you so much. Happy new year to you and happy new year to everyone listening as well. Thank you to , for all that you do .