Connect S1E02_Rerun_ From Pain To Purpose

Tired of watching your goals fade by February? We take a frank look at why ambitions stall and offer a plan that actually sticks—rooted in faith, grounded in reality, and built for your life, not someone else’s. It starts with two powerful guides: big picture thinking to clarify what you truly want, and pain points to reveal what must change. When you connect your imagination and your discomfort, energy turns into direction.

From there, we walk through the Wheel of Life—career, finance, health, family, relationships, spirituality, recreation, and community—to avoid the trap of winning in one area while losing in another. Career takes centre stage as the place where purpose, significance, and service meet. Whether you’re sensing the quiet ache of midlife or simply craving better alignment, we show how to personalise goals so they fit your values: travel when it fuels you, proximity when family needs you, and work that leaves you useful and alive.

Then comes the build. We translate timeless wisdom about counting the cost into practical SMART goals—specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, time-bound—stated in the positive and tailored to your context. No more generic plans. We share how to convert each goal into repeatable habits, why 21 days creates traction and 90 days locks rhythm, and how to pre-plan contingencies so setbacks bend your path without breaking it. We close with a simple 3D action plan: be diligent, be disciplined, be deliberate. Your pain can become a pointer. Your big picture can become a map. Your habits can become the engine.

If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs a nudge, and leave a review to tell us which goal you’ll make measurable this week.

Transcript

Recap And Why Goals Fail

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Connect, where we go beyond Sunday. This is your talk show where we connect the word of God to real life. During the last episode, we introduced this topic of effective goal setting. And we look, we defined what effective goal setting is, and we went further to talk about the resources that we have. We have life as a resource, we have time as a resource, and winning you brought the aspect of the indicators that help us to know what are the areas that we can set goals in. And and very interesting that our pain can be a springboard to the next success that we are probably desiring. Maybe just a recap of those two indicators.

Big Picture Thinking And Pain Points

SPEAKER_01 1:01

Yeah, like we said the how then do you set goals that really work for you? Because we said we are tired with setting goals that don't seem to really orgo well with us. Goals that by February we forgot. We said, because goals that don't mean so much to you. They said, then how do you really decide which are the critical goals that I that I need to have? So we said use your pin points to identify and use the big picture thinking as a big picture is what would life look like if everything I wanted went well. For example, where would you want to live? And the beauty about big picture thinking is go back to your 14-year-old mind. By the way, when you're a teenager, you really know what you want to do in life. Many teenagers know. But the problem is by the time we become adults, you say this adulting, we we forget. Or life, they call life happens. And what do life do? You forget really what really excited you. So I think one of the issues, big picture thinking is if everything went well, assuming everything was just good, how would you want your life to be? Would you want to live in a beach? And there's nothing wrong with living near a beach. If it is something you really want to do, make it a goal, work towards it. You know, when you do make steps, you will you might you will arrive at the destination. And the other one is pain. And you know, pain is something we really don't like. Nobody wants to really feel pain. And even our normal physical pain, because this one is emotional pain. And emotional and physical pain are the same. You feel almost the same thing. So when you talk about emotional pains, things that really hurt you, make you feel so sad, instead of wallowing up there, make it a goal. And the and we said why it's important is because pain is an indicator. Usually, anything that is the reason why you feel pain when you put your hands in fire, is the body telling you, please don't put your hands there. So we need to look at emotional pain as the same thing. Anything that pains you is something that you need to change. So take those emotional pains, make them a goal change. So if it is about, as we said, I think last time we talked about the pain of paying school face, for example. It's a challenge to you, it's giving you sleepless night. Why don't you turn this and say, This year I want to have this amount of money so that I can be able to pay school fees with ease, then start working at it. You realize we when you turn it the pain into a goal, it looks like it's something workable.

SPEAKER_00 3:37

Good. So we are telling our viewers that don't allow your next pain, if at all, to be a source of depression.

SPEAKER_01 3:47

Let it be a pointer.

SPEAKER_00 3:48

Let it be a pointer.

SPEAKER_01 3:50

Something needs to be changed and work on.

SPEAKER_00 3:53

Good. And and and use it as a springboard by setting a goal around the pin.

SPEAKER_01 3:59

Around that thing.

The Wheel Of Life And Balance

SPEAKER_00 4:01

So we want to go deeper today and look at um the different areas that we need to set goals, and uh, we will also go deeper by looking at then how do you effectively set the goals? You know, the practical bit of it. Yeah, and you know, they say it is easier say than than done. Yeah, but uh, we want to to flip that and say that we can make it easier in terms of doing. Now that we are able to say it, we can actually make it easier in terms of doing by giving our viewers tips on how they can practically engage in turning around their pains into uh uh success, you know, turning their pains into success, and also uh making good use of what God has given us in terms of the brain. The mind can visualize, the mind can imagine, and so making those exciting moments turn into tangible things that you can pursue in life, and you could be the next success story that we will be talking about. Sure. Yes, Winnie.

SPEAKER_01 5:13

So I in life coaching, there's something we call will of life. As in when uh as a coach, life actually should be balanced. Yeah, actually, a successful life is not a life where you're very good in career and very poor at home. And you see, usually most people, even they say the geniuses of every time, because they spend too much time to be maybe a scientist. They usually forget family. But in life coaching, we believe life should be a balance. And in life coaching, there's a tool called uh Wheel of Life. I mean it's a it's a tool you can Google online. It gives you some areas of personal uh areas of life that you need to work on so that you become a balanced person. And then we said now using your paints, you can there are areas, there are eight, but you can now identify which is the most painful one, which one is the one maybe you need to work on now. There are some that can wait because again, also don't set too many goals that you cannot achieve. Because remember, we said goals are about you, so don't set goals that you know, they are just on paper. We said we want to go to make set goals that we can work on. So there are many areas, and their areas include career, finance, health, family, romantic relationship. Because do we even set goals of really what do you want even in relationship? Because we struggle relationship is a very thony issue. We struggle so much, but I think the reason we struggle so much is nobody really has a picture of really what do I really then want here. Because I think it's it's important if you have issues with relationships to set relationship goals. I think this year I want maybe a more peaceful home. So make it up, make it a goal, and then so that you can work around it. Then there's your spirituality, you should make it up. What do you want to see yourself, your spirituality? There's create recreation, and recreation sometimes we leave it blank. We think it's not an area we need to set goals around. Why? Because I'm just relaxing. But recreation is connected to creativity, and creativity is connected actually to God, the source mind. Because that is where you really connect to who you are. So recreation is a place where you need to figure out what do I need to do to relax to be able to get new ideas, and new ideas will only come to you in a relaxed place. So recreation should also be part of your goals, and then community service, how do you want to serve people? So there are many areas, but we said for you, just identify what is your pain point. It's mostly around career, finance, relationship, those are top goals. But I think for me, because I have a little bit of interest in career, and I think from my experience as a person, because I have a very interesting career journey. I've changed jobs, I think. I've done so many things. I was trained to be an English teacher, I've even been a public administrator, I've been a deod. You know, I've been a deod. Oh yes. Okay. But I've kept on changing. Following a bit of curiosity. Looking back in my career, which is about now 20 years, I think curiosity has helped me to where I am as a life coach. And I think career is an area we most mostly very ignored. And for us as Christians, I think for us as Christians, when you think of career, you think about purpose, as we said last time. Significance, mission, purpose, mission, all of them are loaded in career. So choosing career, what are you doing? Does it help you feel significant? Are you feeling like you're of help to the world? When you sleep in there at night, do you feel you've done something significant? Then that question of significance is found in career. Unfortunately, career is usually something we don't really think about. Even saying, is the work I'm doing really satisfying me? Yeah. So career goals should be something. If it is, there's a pain inside, and usually it is a very interesting emptiness. You know that kind of emptiness? And usually it is very quiet and it comes out very quietly. At teenage, you you kind of know what you want to do. But as we said, by the time you are 20-something, life has happened. By the time you finish university, things went thick. Thankfully, by 40, there's something called midlife crisis.

SPEAKER_02 9:35

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 9:36

Midlife crisis is related to this career goal. Especially, you'll be hit by midlife crisis if you're doing things that are you feel are not significant to you because by 40 you figure out, oh my God, I'm almost halfway through this life. Have I been doing that? You you you know, and the people who are 40 years plus, and I know I'm one of them.

SPEAKER_02 9:57

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 9:57

And I've been there, there's an emptiness. That an emptiness is more about work. Sometimes we try to fill it with relationship and struggle so much with relationship. People to love you, love people, but it is an emptiness about work and career. So I think even at whatever stage you are, I think career should be really something very big in everybody's personal goals because it's about a question of significance.

Career, Purpose, And Midlife Signals

SPEAKER_00 10:24

Yes, and and you know, we there as a Christian, how do you relate your career to purpose, you know, to being fruitful? Because we said this life we are all given as a gift, as a resource. We also said that time is a resource, but we also said that there is purpose to life, that you're being fruitful for the kingdom. And many times Christians don't see that work or their career or their families is an area of demonstrating purpose in life. And so what you are talking about is very important uh to each one of us, uh, even as Christians, to have that balance. Because sometimes Christians have been accused of being spiritual. You know, the focus is on prayer services, prayer time, fasting, going out for prayer. Very good things. Very important, very good things. Very important. But then how do you set goals? And I think you've mentioned uh a number of areas, spiritual goals where you are able to look at uh set goals to help you continue growing, you know, set some uh um a quiet time, you are also able to fellowship with others, you are able to witness uh setting goals around what you are you are referring to as uh matters to do with health, matters to do with um relationships, financial issues, matters to do with social life, that um you can have a life where you are impacting the community, you are engaging with people, uh, but also family. Sometimes we don't think that we need to set goals for family. As a family, we can sit down looking at how do we grow together, setting goals around our spouses, our children, or even what do we want to see in the future.

SPEAKER_01 12:24

And I think that that that that we were saying, how to identify. I think the big picture thinking comes well with family. For for anybody, what because I think almost everybody has that in mind. What do you really want? Because what is your ideal picture of a perfect family? And it is good to imagine maybe sitting together at night, eating together, reading the Bible. So if that is your big picture, then how are you then really working towards that goal? Because it cannot just be there. You have to do something to be able to achieve that big picture. Do you want to see your children going to university? Then there are some things maybe you need to invest in your children's journey. Because if you have a career that is so busy that sometimes you don't have time for your children, is that how then are you are you able to achieve those? So you see, it affects one way or another. And we said family goals will affect career goals. Because there are some decisions maybe you might need really to make. Because I remember, as I told you, there are some for me. I want the the public administrator job was very good. But when I sat down to see, I was working away from my family, I had a young baby, so that career I had to shelve it down because I realized it was not working well with what I felt a family um a mother should be. And I'm not saying there's an ideal standard for being a mother. I'm saying, you, what do you really want? For me, I felt I should be at home with my children. And so I saw this job is taking me far away from, or maybe I should leave this job and look for another job that is closer to my home so that I can be home in the evening to see my children. I mean, for you, that's why we say go so make them personal. We are not here coming to prescribe a yes, a general we are saying own it, make it personal. So, what do you want?

SPEAKER_00 14:14

So and that's that's very interesting when it comes to uh viewing goals at a personal level. Somebody else would want would rather have a job and maybe sacrifice something else.

SPEAKER_01 14:30

Yeah, because there are some people who want to travel the world. Yeah, so you might need to choose maybe a career that takes you to travel around the world. Imagine there are some jobs you're paid to travel. Like if you are a pilot, if you have to travel, then those are some of the careers you need to work with. Work with things that really work with what you like. I think this is your life. Yes, run it your way in a way that is exciting to you. So if you are looking for a career, so for people who want to stay home like me, maybe a career as a pilot might not work because as a pilot, definitely you have to move from this city to that city. You will not definitely come home in the evening. So if you want a career that makes you travel, there are some people who get excited with travel, which is a good thing. Then look for careers that will make you travel. And it is free. So we say choose work with goals that work well with you.

SPEAKER_00 15:22

So I think at uh from the onset, balance becomes very important, and balance could mean different things to different people based on how they desire to see their lives. And so moving forward in terms of now making goal setting a practical engagement, uh, there is a biblical principle that we draw from the book of Luke, chapter 14, uh verse 28. It says, for which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it. Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who observe it begin to ridicule him. And I'm thinking, goals cannot just hang in the air, something must be done to achieve the goals to achieve those goals. And that is what we want to delve into uh briefly. How then do we now practically set goals that we can look back and say we have achieved?

Family Goals Intertwined With Work

SPEAKER_01 16:40

Okay. So I'm reminded uh that principle, I think it reminds me of something we all know calls setting smart goals. Goals must be specific. I think Jesus was saying set goals that are you have to sit down to measure. Measure is called smart goals. Specific, measurable, attainable, and relevant. So Jesus was saying you have to sit down and measure what do I really want? Because they say if you do things, then it will handle, people will come and say that is foolishness. So smart goals, so goals must be smart. Specific, we said it has to be specific. It's promotion, it's promotion. And goals, one thing when you're setting goals, always state goals in the positive. Don't say I am setting a goal, I don't want to miss a promotion. Goals should be stated in positive. And actually, if you set in positive, you realize it gives you energy. This year, I want to get to earn a promotion. Not I don't want to be left out in the promotion. So goals must specific and another thing stated in positive, and then it has to be measurable, as we say. It is something action. Now that is where it is attainable. So, what are you going to do, for example, about our promotion? There are things you need to do. And and uh and I think going back to a little bit about human behavior, we talked about status quo, and we said human behavior works best in habits, routine things are easily done. That's why we said most of us have a usual time of working, even without an alarm clock. If it's six, you wake up at six. So you easily attain goals if you set actions that you can repeat every day. And uh psychology says if you want to set up new behavior, it takes you about 21 days of repeating the same thing to make it a habit. So the easiest way to set goals, set goals, the easiest way to action a goal is to make them habits. And it takes about 21 days for you to create a new habit of repeating the same thing every day. So I think the easier one to use is the weight loss one. Yes, it's a health goal, it's good by the way. Sometimes I'm not sure if we need to setting the goal as weight loss or I want to be more healthy. Maybe we don't know. But assuming all of us may, because all of us want to lose some weight, the question is how then do you really action the losing weight? Then you have to think about something that you can change into a habit that you can do. If it's going to the gym and they say most gym membership, everybody who wants a gym, they say new year, there are always new clients signing up. In fact, the people who go to the gym every day say we can't wait for January pressure to go because they know there are some people after January they will not come. But in January, we are all of us in the gym. Because we have we we have set goals for new things, but we fail on the way. So for you to build that habit of being a gym goer, if it is that that's how you want to lose weight. 21 days every day, every day. And they actually say if you can continue up to 90 days, now the body picks up. You know, the way you do you know, we all learned how to walk first.

SPEAKER_00 19:52

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_01 19:53

It was learning. People actually had it, okay. You realize you could walk, so you had to catch the table, falling, people clapping for you, until you learn how to walk, talking. But sometimes as adults, we forget that all these things are habits that have to be built. So the easiest way to achieve a goal is create, make them habits. Then after, like now, you do you even think of walking?

SPEAKER_00 20:15

No, you just start working.

SPEAKER_01 20:17

You start walking because it's a habit your brain takes over. You don't need the energy to think of I how will I walk? Do I put the right foot? Who knows even which foot goes one? Because it's a habit. So the easiest way to achieve your goal, turn them into actions that are form them into habits. Then with that, now it is easier to keep on doing it. And the time, so if it is going to the gym towards being healthy, then be consistent, at least for 21 days. After 21 days, it will not be too hard.

SPEAKER_00 20:48

So so borrowing from this spiritual principle that Jesus is sharing here about you know the building of a tower being a goal, and I I see Jesus is is talking about evaluating our context. So we could set the same goal but have very different contexts. And context will determine how far or how fast. It determines other parameters that will be involved in achieving that goal. But I also see an aspect of counting the cost where then you're asking yourself, I want to set this goal. What will it cost me to be able to achieve this goal? Uh and as you said, there are things we may need to do, there are others that we may need to sacrifice in order for us to be able to achieve the goals. But we also need to uh plan for contingencies that along the way, there are some things that may come up that uh we do not have control over. And many people, when they get to that junction, they sacrifice their goals as opposed to trying to find ways of going around these contingencies. That have come their way. And so for you to be consistent, then you have to be ready. That there are some things that will come because, as you said, life happens. You know, we don't have the privilege of knowing what the whole year will be like. But uh we have the privilege and the capacity to keep adjusting, keep changing along the way, but still focusing on the goal that we have set. Of course, the other thing that we need to look at is the requirements. Because if if I am going to set a certain goal, then I need to know what does this uh uh achieving this goal, what do I require to have? What do I require maybe to set aside? Uh what are those requirements that I will need between uh setting the goal and attaining that goal. Now we have set the goal, we have identified it is specific, you see, it is measurable, it is at it's attainable, it's attainable, it is uh relevant, it is relevant, it is personal, and there's time timelines to it, and it is also time-bound. We have probably even put it on paper. So, what is next?

SPEAKER_01 23:10

You said action and action, habits, habits, your behavior around it. Your behavior, it is actually behavior change around it, around it. And I had I think I had mentioned change habits around your goals because it's about you. So I said if you want to lose weight, what are some of the habits you want? If it's a promotion, there are some things you need to do to be promoted, it just can't come. You have to be ready, and they say opportunities favors the ready. So you cannot say, oh, the one in Iruka. No, no, no. You have to be ready for it. So action. So you have to what habits do you need to change?

Counting The Cost And SMART Goals

SPEAKER_00 23:49

And and I think this reminds me of uh again another biblical principle in Proverbs chapter 6, verse 6. It says, Go to the ant, you sluggard, consider its ways and be wise. It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest. Then it says, How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep? It says a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of hands to rest, and poverty will come in or will come on you like a thief, and scarcity like an armed man. And so this reminds us that setting goals has got no meaning if you don't take the next step of action. So I want to conclude this session by giving us a 3D action plan. One, you have to be diligent. Consistency is as I said, yeah. 28 days. 21 days to 90 days. 90 days, yes, and that becomes part of your life. Discipline for you to attain 21 days, there has to be discipline. You see, the ant has got no commander, it has got nobody, nobody rings the bell in the morning.

SPEAKER_01 25:10

But I think it does what we say couldn't.

SPEAKER_00 25:12

In a jituma. Yes. You know, there is that discipline to keep doing. And finally, being deliberate. Yes. Being deliberate about your goal. What are your closing thoughts on this aspect of goals?

SPEAKER_01 25:23

I think the deliberate really, you have to be intentionality. Be intentional. And we said own for me, I say own the goals. When you own it, it's easier to run with it. If it is goals you borrowed from people or you copied or it's peer pressure, you can't go to February. When it's meaningful to you, it's significant to you, you are likely to run with it. And we wish you all the best as you pursue your new year resolution. See you at the top.

SPEAKER_00 25:50

Good. So your pain can turn to success. That big picture that excites you can actually be a success story. When you put uh you turn that into a goal, action it, be deliberate, and see yourself flying into success. This has been Connect, where we go beyond Sunday, connecting the word of God to real life.