Ever found yourself chuckling at the irony of impatiently praying for patience? Pastor Jeff Samelson helps us unpack the complex virtue of patience from a biblical lens, sprinkled with light-hearted anecdotes and profound reflections.
There's a fine line between the impatience that propels us forward and the kind that erodes trust and relationships. We'll tackle this balance head-on, discussing scenarios where patience might be likened to righteous anger, and the maturity required to discern the difference. So, lean in as we dissect the often overlooked but transformative power of patience.
Ever found yourself chuckling at the irony of impatiently praying for patience? Pastor Jeff Samelson helps us unpack the complex virtue of patience from a biblical lens, sprinkled with light-hearted anecdotes and profound reflections.
There's a fine line between the impatience that propels us forward and the kind that erodes trust and relationships. We'll tackle this balance head-on, discussing scenarios where patience might be likened to righteous anger, and the maturity required to discern the difference. So, lean in as we dissect the often overlooked but transformative power of patience.
On today's episode.
Jeff Samelson:And we don't have to look too hard in scripture to find examples of believers who said, okay, god, this is what I think should happen, and God basically agrees. But he says not yet. And that's what we have to realize as well with looking at politics and things like that. Within the pro-life movement, there have been lots of disagreements over the years about how patient to be. Should we push for the whole thing? Should we push for this complete outlawing of abortion, because that's our goal, so that's what we're going to put all our legislative and electoral influence toward, or should we take a more step-by-step approach?
Paul Snamiska:Welcome to the Life Challenges podcast from Christian Life Resources. People today face many opportunities and struggles when it comes to issues of life and death, marriage and family, health and science. We're here to bring a fresh biblical perspective to these issues and more. Join us now for Life Challenges.
Christa Potratz:Hi and welcome back. I'm Christa Potratz, and today I'm here with Pastor Jeff Samelson. It's going to be just the two of us today, but it's got a great topic to discuss here too. Today we're going to talk about the topic of patience, and with that too also comes this idea of impatience as well. I think patience is one of those things where I would think that the average person would say they struggle with that, and I see it in myself. But as a mom too, I see it a lot in my children as well. I mean, it's true for my family as much as probably anybody's family on a card trip. The number one question you get from kids in the car is are we there yet? And so it does kind of interesting to think about too, this idea of being maybe born, or part of our sinful nature, with impatience as well, and so we'll kind of touch, I think, on some of these things today too. Jeff, what are your thoughts? Opening dots on the subject of patience and impatience?
Jeff Samelson:One of the things there's. It's often said as kind of a joke. Lord give me patience. And I need it right now and I thought well, yeah, it's actually not so funny, because that's exactly the way it works. I mean, if you're in such a bind that you're praying for patience, you really do need it right at that moment.
Jeff Samelson:It's not something you're asking for later, it's something you need right now. Patience is just something that we just don't think about enough, and it's something you know. A mom might have tremendous patience dealing with her toddler, but then, when getting dinner ready, something's just not happening as fast as it's supposed to and she'll be really bothered by that. We can be patient with some things, impatient with others, and part of it is how do we get all this back into balance? Because we realize that it's not just about our own internal happiness and being content and everything like that. It also affects what we're doing out in the world and affects other people and affects the things that we want to achieve in life. So it's something that I've just been thinking about a lot more lately. It's like you know, how do you get a grip on this and encourage more of it and develop more of it in your life?
Christa Potratz:Well, I think a good place to start, then, is with scripture, and when I think of patience in scripture too, there's a lot of different examples, but I kind of go to the fruits of the spirit right in Galatians, where it's mentioned that the fruits of the spirit are love, joy, peace, patience and so on, and so to me that kind of means that, okay, patience is a fruit of the spirit, comes from God. But can you kind of expand a little bit on that?
Jeff Samelson:Yeah, I'll just say first of all, I think that for the average Christian, if they were to do a word search, a concordant search, on patience and related words in scripture, I think they'd be surprised at how often it shows up, because it's often appears, particularly in the epistles, in lists of things like the fruit of the spirit, and we're just like, okay, yeah, that's one of those things, and we tend not to focus on it so much. I think part of it is because when we've got the patience, we was like, okay, I've got that, that's not something I need to focus on, and when we're actually impatient then we just skip over it because I can't deal with that right now, but it's, it really is one of the things that is kind of essential and it shows up in many of those lists in scripture of you know, these are the characteristics of a Christian, these are parts of the things that it should be in your life and the way you deal with your own life, the way you deal with the world. Kloschen's three, just pulling one out of the many you know. Therefore, as gods elect, holy and loved, clothe yourselves with heartfelt compassion. We've talked about that on the podcast recently Kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. There it is, at the end of the end of the list again, but you know it's one of those things that it really is a an important part. And then you know there's some passages, in Proverbs, for instance, where you'd expect some. A patient person has great understanding, but an impatient person exalts foolishness. Or better to be patient than to be a hero, better to control your temper than to capture a city Really practical stuff there and yeah, I mean most of us aren't trying to be heroes or capturing cities, but you know it pretty well illustrates things.
Jeff Samelson:Years ago, I was probably still in my early 20s, I saw advertised and I purchased a print of a painting that someone had done and it's a picture of a farmer out in his field and he's obviously been working hard. He's wiping his brow and he's looking up in the sky and the sky is almost completely clear and there's just this little bit of a possible rain cloud off in the future. And the reference there was to James 5 and I've just always found this really helpful. Yeah, therefore, brothers, be patient until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the valuable harvest from the ground, patiently waiting for it until it receives the early and late rain. You be patient too. Strengthen your hearts, because the coming of the Lord is near, and later on it talks about. You've heard of the patient endurance of Job and have seen what the Lord did in the end, because the Lord is especially compassionate and merciful.
Jeff Samelson:Just that great image there, that illustration of yeah the farmer long before they had irrigation systems and things like that. He just had to be patient. He didn't have any other option. And that's really the way that we need to be thinking about the things that we're counting on the Lord for. That we just need to think is like I don't have an option of hurrying things along here as much as I think I do. I just need to endure what's going on and be patient and wait for the Lord. And, of course, countless places in scripture also where it says wait for the Lord.
Jeff Samelson:I guess you know really what it comes down to is. Patience is just an expression of faith. It's trust that God is in charge. Truly, he really is in control of the world and us and everything in it and he is absolutely wise, he knows everything that needs to be known and he's infinitely loving. And when you know those things and you count on those things, you trust the Lord. Well then, you can be patient and you're not patient just with the things in your life that you're waiting for, but patient with others, patient with yourself. Well, you can express this as a fundamental Christian trait and characteristic.
Christa Potratz:Yeah, I was kind of just blown away to just how God's timeline is so different than mine and really I mean any person in general too and I mean I just see a lot of patience in characters in the Old Testament, especially to Abraham waiting and Joseph with everything he went through and so many others, and you just kind of get this sense that they could have sped up things. They definitely would have, but that time just seemed so different to God and that you know he was obviously working through these people but he also just had his own timeline of things too.
Jeff Samelson:Yeah, one of the really interesting characters in the Old Testament to look at in terms of patience is Jacob, because you know the whole thing with getting the birthright and sneaking that away so that Esau didn't get it.
Jeff Samelson:I mean, that was ultimately impatient. He was unwilling to wait for the Lord to do what he had promised he was going to do. So he took things into his own hands and we see that numerous times still in his life where he's like well, I'm going to do this. But at the same time, when he fell for Rachel, he was willing to wait seven years work, seven years patiently waiting for her. Of course, his uncle cheated him and gave him Leah instead. It wasn't until much later that he went through an awful lot and had a lot of trouble that Jacob really started to understand he needed to be patient and wait for the Lord, and that's the way life is for a lot of us, that we think we've got it covered in this area of our life. But God has things to teach us in other areas and it takes a while.
Christa Potratz:So you know, kind of, if we transition a little bit to today and the life challenges that we go through, one of the areas with people today where we see some impatience is maybe politics too, with wanting to get legislation or wanting things to happen in a certain time. What can we keep in mind about some of those things when it comes to that?
Jeff Samelson:Yeah, I think that if you were asked some pro-life activist okay, you know what are the things you need to see success working towards whatever goals you have, you know I think they'd say, okay, well, we need more political influence, we need funding, we need to be better organized, we need to communicate better. I think very far down on the list, if they'd ever even mentioned it at all, would be patience. But actually patience is really fundamental. I'd say it's even more important than the others, because without patience, you're going to end up making bad decisions, you're going to commit to things that you shouldn't be committing to, you're going to be tempted to give up when things don't go the way that you want them to and the timeframe that you want them to and things, and so we need to have that patience, recognizing that just because we know what is right and we know what should be and what what should happen, doesn't mean that it's going to happen the way that we want or be the way that we think it is, Because, again, we're not the ones in charge, we're not the ones determining things. Now, just on a practical level, you know, in a democracy like ours, we recognize that we don't get to make all the decisions. There are other people in charge. Even if we weren't in a democracy, if we were completely in an autocracy or to a totalitarian state, we definitely know that we're not the ones making those decisions. But, even more important, ultimately it's God who's in charge, and we don't have to look too hard in Scripture to find examples of believers who said okay, god, this is what I think should happen, and God basically agrees, but he says not yet. And that's what we have to realize as well with looking at politics and things like that.
Jeff Samelson:Within the pro-life movement, there have been lots of disagreements over the years about how patient to be. Should we push for the whole thing, you know, should we push for this complete outlawing of abortion, because that's our goal, so that's what we're going to put all our legislative and electoral influence toward? Or should we take a more step-by-step approach where we say, okay, well, let's get a 20-week banion, okay, then after that maybe we can get a 16-week. Or taking this more partial thing so that you can bring the culture along more? And what turned out is that the people who had a more patient approach are the ones who saw the success. We saw that almost two years ago now with the Dobs decision that undid the Roe v Wade. That only happened because of patient endurance. We're going to do this, we're going to bring things along. We're going to put the people in place. We're going to get the policies in place. Eventually they got to that point and if the people who had been pushing for let's do it all right now, they never saw that?
Christa Potratz:Is impatience always bad? What we say is that a part of our sinful nature, kind of be like righteous anger, where sometimes maybe it's okay in certain circumstances, I don't know, just throwing it out there.
Jeff Samelson:I think it depends on definitions. I think in most cases we'd say impatience yeah, it's wrong, it's sinful, because it's that lack of trust. But at the same time there can be perfectly reasonable, legitimate and godly reasons to be saying no more, this needs to be done now. You're not being patient over there, you're being lazy, so get a move on. There are definitely times for that.
Jeff Samelson:I think the key is in what spirit are you making these decisions or saying these things? If your spirit is just I can't handle this anymore, just get it done, that's impatience, that's not trusting. But on the other hand, if it says well, I'm looking at the situation right now and it's clear this cannot continue as it is, so we're going to make the decision. We need to move now. There's a big difference there, of course, the rubber meets the road thing, for that is that very often, when we're impatient or when we're faced with the challenge of impatience, we're not really given the opportunity to think okay, what's motivating me right now? We're just feeling it in the moment, and that's why it takes character development, it takes working toward Christian maturity, to develop that kind of patient patient's muscle so that when you need it, you've got it there.
Christa Potratz:I think that's that is true with the development of it too. I recently had a milestone birthday here and we're pretty transparent on the podcast so I turned 40. And I was talking about the friend of mine and we were talking about the whole like getting older and wiser, and we both agreed getting older part okay, maybe not so much fun, but the getting wiser part is actually kind of neat. Just in terms of patients and kind of like how I mentioned, with my kids as well, you see a lot of impatience, usually as kind of a sign of maybe immaturity. But what is one of those things that as you grow and because you've had experiences and because I have, for example, weighted in the car on road trips or just different things too, then it does kind of work on that muscle most of just being able to be in situations a little bit more calm and be able to focus on, maybe, a bigger picture.
Jeff Samelson:And I you mentioned of milestone birthdays and such. You know, I think probably most of us remember how when we were, like you know, eight or nine years old, we couldn't wait for the next birthday. We just we wanted to grow up, you know, we wanted to be able to do that thing that the older sibling could do, or, you know, the neighbor kids could do, or whatever. You know, we just we couldn't wait to grow up. And then, when we reach our teens, like, oh, I can't wait until I can drive, I can't wait until I can vote. Still, you're always in this hurry. I mean, I can't wait to get out into the workforce and eventually start realizing I'm kind of moving this along too fast, I need to slow down a little. And you know, by the time you reach my age and I'll be 58 in a few weeks you know, like, that next birthday can wait. I'm not in a hurry, I'm gonna enjoy the time. I have Just was listening to a podcast on the way over here this morning that and I'm not sure about the math, but the guy was saying that we each each have, on average, about 4,000 weeks to live and and it's oh wow, that's.
Jeff Samelson:That's really not a lot when you've reached this age, like you realize how many have already lived, and yeah, so it's. It's hard, when you see time slipping away, to be patient, but at the same time, that's where the wisdom comes from. And you know, I'm glad you mentioned that because that's also a big, not necessarily a part of patience, but it's definitely connected to patients.
Christa Potratz:Well, and I think for a lot of people too. You know they might see patients as more of a personal problem, but you probably also can be made, you know, an argument for that. It's a relationship issue too. What would you kind of say to to that?
Jeff Samelson:Yeah, this is a real rubber meets the road kind of thing. I mean, I've come across people who are just kind of say, well, you know, I'm kind of an inpatient person, and they say it kind of like, well, that's who I am Deal with it. It's like no, if that's the case, that's a character flaw and and you should be working on it Because I think we all understand. You know, dealing with an inpatient person is not pleasant and if that continues over time, that is not good for your relationships and all your relationships. You know, friendships, dating, marriage, parents with children, children with parents, employment situations you know, you with your boss, boss with your employees, employees with other employees so many areas in which we need to be able to take that breath and say, okay, I'm the Christian here, I can trust that, that God's got things, I can trust that I have, that he's given me everything I need to deal with this situation. So I don't need to blow up, I don't need to push things faster than they're going, and I can take that moment and listen to this person go on and on. I can take that moment and, you know, say, okay, I told the boy to do this three times already and I'm about to lose my temper, but he is only seven years old. I'm going to take a breath and I'm going to be patient here. I still need to exercise discipline but I'm not going to fly off the handle because because I'm a Christian and things like that.
Jeff Samelson:But so many things are connected to being impatient or loss of patience, and it's not just full out of anger, it's, you know, losing your temper, but it's, you know, snippiness. Sometimes maybe it's a loss of trust. I'm impatient with, with, with my spouse, because my spouse has not come through for me on, you know, on time. You know whatever that is. And my definition start losing trust when maybe it's just you being not being patient enough with that person and you know, could even lead to real relationship killer of contempt. It's like, yeah, she never does that, she never comes through on that, and it's really just you not being patient enough.
Jeff Samelson:Long term, a lack of patience can be a real problem. But on the positive, what a difference it makes when you are patient. You know what an expression of love that is to somebody, what an expression of trust and how deep deepens a relationship when you say, okay, I'm going to wait, you know I'm going to trust that. You know. You know what you said you're going to do. You're going to do, you're going to trust that the changes that you're making, you're working on those, I'm here for you and I'll wait on your timeline, not mine.
Christa Potratz:Shifting a little bit to like from the relational but also thinking of just our relationship with the Lord. Then how does impatience tend to get in the way or affect our relationship with God?
Jeff Samelson:Mostly, it's waiting for him to fulfill a promise or something that we even think he should be, you know, have promised. Maybe he hasn't actually promised and we're just thinking I should have this by now.
Christa Potratz:This thing should have happened by now, and you know where my mind goes to is Moses. What was it? Where he was supposed to like talk to the rock but he hit the rock and I mean you can see just like that frustration and impatience and everything boiling up and then it cost him being able to go into the promised land.
Jeff Samelson:Yeah, and that really surprises students of the Bible. It's like couldn't have got a given a break on that. But those who have been given great responsibility, well, they have that responsibility. You know, he was in a position of leadership and he set a really bad example for the Israelites and so that God chastised him in that way. But and part of the problem there was that the Israelites had a real problem with impatience with the Lord why did you bring us out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? You know, yeah, the Lord came through, it was through for us last week, but what did you do for us lately? You know all that kind of stuff.
Jeff Samelson:But some other stories, like one of the real head scratchers in Genesis, when Abraham goes down into Egypt and then later, when he's, you know, in the area of the Philistines, you know, instead of saying this is Sarah my wife, he says this is my sister, which was technically true in a way, but he was covering over the truth. Why was that? Because he wasn't being patient enough to trust that the Lord would work things out and keep them safe. He said, well, I got to take control here, I got to take matters into my own hands, and that got in the way of his relationship with the Lord and caused problems for his witness among unbelievers and even set a bad example because his son Isaac ended up doing the same thing with Rebecca. She wasn't his sister, it wasn't even true in that case.
Jeff Samelson:And so every story that there is in the Bible of somebody not being patient, it really does get in the way of their relationship with the Lord. You know, even when we were impatient with other people, that in a way is going to get in the way of our relationship with the Lord. Because if we're sinning and very often that's the kind of thing we rationalize, you know we say well, of course I was upset with him, he didn't come through for me the way he was supposed to. Any sin that we rationalize really becomes a spiritual issue because it's not something that we're asking forgiveness for and that becomes problematic.
Christa Potratz:Yeah, we've talked about how being impatient can affect other people and relationships and the relationship with God. It also can kind of take a number on ourselves too, just sometimes bring maybe mental anxiety and affect even our emotional or physical health too.
Jeff Samelson:I remember I guess I was probably in high school or so, maybe even earlier than that my dad had to go in for a hernia operation and the doctors told him something like okay, you need to be on bed rest for the next five days. I forget what it was, and this was back in the late 70s or early 80s or something like that. They weren't doing all that by outpatient the way they are today, but he was impatient. He got up in two days and were just like dad, that's not the way you're going to heal, yeah, so there are ways like that.
Jeff Samelson:I developed a problem with my shoulder sometime last summer and I just was being really impatient, saying, well, I can fix this on my own. Of course, finally realized a month or so ago I think I really need to see a physical therapist and even then I've been pushing things a little harder than I should and I have pain as a result of that. It's like, okay, I need to be patient with the process. And so physically you mentioned anxiety. I mean you've got a problem with impatience. It's going to raise your blood pressure, it's going to stop healing, maybe it's going to give you headaches, things like that.
Jeff Samelson:Physically there, but probably the biggest problem that most of us is going to see is with the emotional and mental health that being impatient can lead to really bad decision making. You're looking for shortcuts, you're looking for easy ways out. If you're impatient with yourself, why haven't I succeeded in making this change? Why didn't I get this thing done that I had planned to get done? Why haven't I conquered this sin that I've been trying to conquer for so long?
Jeff Samelson:You get impatient with yourself well, you get frustrated with yourself. You get frustrated with yourself. Then you get discouraged Well, you get discouraged. That can start leading you into depression and even worse things, and it kind of all started with you not being willing to just wait for the things to work out, the way that God's going to help you work them out. I'll just mention a related thing that is something that's a little bit more related to recent times, which is our society has really become hooked on instant gratification, and I've got to have this right now. I think like opening up your computer and starting it. Now we get frustrated if, within 30 seconds, we're not online.
Christa Potratz:Oh yeah, I mean, yeah, remember, dial up the internet. Yeah, I mean, I remember it's like half the way.
Jeff Samelson:I wouldn't turn off my computer because it took five minutes just for it to boot up and we've just gotten so used to the idea of it has to be now. And that's in so many things in our lives. We even expected in relationships very often, and things like that, and it's something that our kids have very much picked up on as well, and that's going to cause you problems, because when you don't get that instant gratification, you're like okay, something's wrong, something's wrong and that creates stress and creates anxiety and all that. So I guess, just with all that, just you've got to remember, to be remember how patient God is with you, what he puts up with, what he waits to see happen in your life, how he sees you not conquering sins and is still gracious and merciful with you. Well, be like God, because that's always our goal, and be like God with yourself. Give yourself that break, not that you're excusing sins or errors or anything like that, but be patient with yourself.
Christa Potratz:Yeah, I think that's really a great point. Is there anything else to when somebody is just kind of thinking oh yeah, that sounds great, jeff, but like that's a hard thing to do. You know, is there something specifically that people can pray for or kind of meditate on when thinking about this?
Jeff Samelson:Just like that kind of joke thing that I started with. You know, it's like if you recognize that you're short on patience, that's what you need to be asking God for. But it does mean exercising that muscle or trying to build that muscle up. Just kind of a philosophical, psychological thing is like okay, if we see impatience as something that is not a virtue, therefore it's something sinful, it's part of our sinful nature that we want to be rid of. But at the same time we will often see people thinking of okay, well, I choose to be patient with this, but my impatience just happens.
Jeff Samelson:I think once we realize that, if we're often choosing to be impatient, it's like okay, this is the way I'm going to react, that's a wrong choice, but it's one that you chose. You were actually in control of that. And I think when we flip things around that way and change our way of thinking a little bit, that helps us remember. Then is like, okay, I need to practice choosing patience. That when this situation comes up, that normally my heart rate would start getting a little, going up a little bit, and I'd be like why is this not happening the way it should? To just take that breath and say I choose patience here, and that's obviously something you prayed God to help you with, but it's you know. And that may be choosing patience with your spouse. It may be choosing patience with your kids, it may be choosing patience with yourself. This project you've been working on and it's just not going fast enough. There's a way that this is going to get done. I choose to be patient because getting to the end is more important than getting there quickly.
Christa Potratz:Well, thank you very much, and I think this has given people a lot to think about and to just consider, and so if anyone has any questions on this topic, please reach out to us. You can reach out to us at lifechallengesus, and we look forward to seeing you back next time. Bye.
Paul Snamiska:Thank you for joining us for this episode of the Life Challenges podcast from Christian Life Resources. Please consider subscribing to this podcast, giving us a review wherever you access it and sharing it with friends. We're sure you have questions on today's topic or other life issues. Our goal is to help you through these tough topics and we want you to know we're here to help. You can submit your questions, as well as comments or suggestions for future episodes, at lifechallengesus or email us at podcast at christianliferesourcescom. In addition to the podcasts, we include other valuable information at lifechallengesus, so be sure to check it out. For more about our parent organization, please visit christianliferesourcescom. May God give you wisdom, love, strength and peace in Christ for every life challenge.