The Life Challenges Podcast
Modern-day issues from a Biblical perspective.
The Life Challenges Podcast
From Transition to Truth: A Journey with Katie Coblentz | Part 2
Katie Coblentz shares her powerful journey from identifying as transgender to finding her identity in Christ, revealing how Jesus' love filled the emptiness that transition couldn't satisfy.
Katie shares how her transition initially felt effortless—"like pedaling downhill"—as society's affirmation created a smooth path forward. Yet seven years into living as "Caden," something wasn't right. The revelation that shook her came not from anti-transgender arguments but from a profound spiritual awakening that made her question everything she'd built her identity upon.
Most striking is Katie's discussion of "death before detransition"—the disturbing mindset that suicide is preferable to admitting transition regret. This psychological prison keeps many silent about their doubts, fearing both social rejection and the daunting task of rebuilding their lives. Having survived a life-threatening hysterectomy during her transition, Katie confronted not just ideological questions but her own mortality.
For Christians with loved ones identifying as transgender, Katie offers practical wisdom. Rather than heated arguments, she suggests asking neutral, thought-provoking questions: "What does transition look like?" or "What will the end of transition look like?" These plant seeds that may later flourish, even if initial reactions seem negative.
Today, Katie's life centers on Christ's love—not just receiving it but pouring it out for others. Married to a seminary student and active in her Lutheran church, she finds purpose in sharing her story with congregations nationwide. The courage to speak comes not from herself but from God: "If I had to rely on my own courage, I wouldn't have said a word."
Katie's journey reminds us that beneath our search for identity lies a deeper spiritual hunger. As she poignantly states, "I wasn't just confused—I was empty." Her testimony offers hope that even when physical restoration isn't possible, spiritual redemption always is.
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We have several articles on our website on this issue of transgender ideology - check them out here: https://christianliferesources.com/life-issues/family-topics/transgender-ideology
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On today's episode.
Katie Coblentz:More and more love, and it's amazing, when your foundation is Christ, how much love is poured into you by Christ and how much you're able to then pour that out for others.
Katie Coblentz:Be like yes.
Katie Coblentz:I do love you Because Christ loves us. And it's just amazing and that's something that I was missing before Like I wasn't just confused, like I was empty. You know, christ was loving me every day and I was still alive every day and I still had opportunities to serve people. And Jesus loves us more than anyone ever, more than anyone else ever could. But I mean the fact that one I even survived the hysterectomy, because that was a disaster. Okay, the doctors called it an adventure. It was a little more than an adventure. I'll tell you that that was bad, but I think it just looks like we just keep living and keep loving and just stay centered on Christ.
Jeff Samelson:Welcome to the Life Challenges podcast from Christian Life Resources. Our world today presents people with complicated issues of life and death, marriage and family, health and science. It can be a struggle to understand or deal with them. We're here to help by bringing good information and a fresh biblical perspective to these matters and more. Join us now for Life Challenges.
Christa Potratz:Hi and welcome back. My name is Krista Potratz and I'm here today with Pastors Bob Fleischman and Jeff Samuelson, and today we have part two of our interview with Katie Koblentz. If you didn't hear part one, you may want to listen to that first. In that part, katie talks about her story. In this part we're going to ask Katie some questions based on what she has told us, and the first question we're going to go to Pastor Bob Fleischman.
Katie Coblentz:So where are your parents on all this right now? I mean, how do they? They were kind of like you know, when I've heard you on the other podcasts and so forth, they were kind of like accepting and going along.
Katie Coblentz:Yes, my parents, the whole way through the transition, were just supportive, but more in a passive way, because they didn't fully understand what was going on. I think if they knew what they knew today, back then it would have been a much different story. But if I only had the information they had at the time to operate with, I probably would have done the same thing as them. But we don't have the moral framework and I don't really know what this issue is, and if you're saying this is who you are. So they were supportive, but not in a way that they were pushing for it, and sometimes they would push against it. They would kind of say what does this mean? I don't get it. So they weren't pushing against it, necessarily, I suppose. But just asking these questions Katie, did you do your research? Or Caden, did you do your research? Are you sure this is what you want to do? And I told, of course I did my research. I watched it all on YouTube. I did my research.
Katie Coblentz:So they were skeptical about some things and when I was having that hysterectomy and I had those complications, they knew what was going on and they were waiting for a phone call like is their kid dead or alive from all this transition stuff. Now they are fully supportive. I think when they can, they'll tune in and listen to the things I do. Whenever they can I've done a lot of stuff. Sometimes they'll tag along with me or they'll just try to listen to it. I think they've listened to almost everything that's been posted online.
Katie Coblentz:Some events are private and they've not heard it, so they are very supportive now A lot of times our listeners and I find that a surprisingly large number of them will tell stories of my grandson, my daughter, my sometimes close relative, and a lot of times it has to do with being invited to their wedding, as they're either going to marry somebody same-sex or they're going to get this notice that they're undergoing the change. My sister called and said her son is going to undergo a change and become a woman, or vice versa, and nobody knows what to do. Nobody knows what to say. The two questions I have for you is what's the worst thing that they can say and what do you think is the best thing that they can say?
Katie Coblentz:to open up a conversation with a person. There's probably not a worst thing you can say, but there is a worst way of saying it. So the things that I like to tell. So let's start with some of the best things that you could say. Some questions, very open-ended questions what does transition look like? Asked with a neutral tone, not really expecting an answer, but just enough to get the person thinking. What does transition look like? What?
Katie Coblentz:will the end of transition look like? What? Asked with a neutral tone, not really expecting an answer, but just enough to get the person thinking what does transition look like? What will the end of transition look like? What is it about womanhood that you despise? Or what is it about manhood that you desire? What duties of womanhood or what duties does womanhood encompass that you despise? Questions like that, where it's like it has to, it gets them thinking, but it also has to pull them out of the ideology. You can't think about what duties womanhood comes with without thinking that there is such a thing as manhood and womanhood. So questions like that that in order to even think about them whether or not you come up with an answer, in order to even think about them it takes you out of the ideology. Open-ended questions asked with a neutral tone when the other person has opened up conversation.
Katie Coblentz:So what this would look like is your 19-year-old son. This is just an example. Your 19-year-old son says I'm going to be transgender and the parents, being Christians, decide we're not going to call you Brittany because that's a girl's name. I'm not going to call you by a girl's name. That's affirming a delusion and it's not good for you. I'm not going to call you by female pronouns because you're not a female. Well, what does the son do? He doesn't want anything to do with the parents, even though that's the right thing is, don't affirm it. But once in a while, you know, the son comes home and it's like yeah, so this is the next step. Well, what the parents could do and I'm not saying this will absolutely work there's could do, and I'm not saying this will absolutely work. There's not a one-size-fits-all answer and I don't want to give anybody a false hope, but maybe the parents could just very neutrally well, what does transition look like? And just kind of wait.
Katie Coblentz:Well, what is it about manhood that you don't like? This will most likely set the sun off. It's oh, you guys never get it. You guys never get it, whether or not you ask the right or wrong questions. That's how it's going to go. Okay, unless you compromise everything you believe in as a Christian and you just go along to get along, no matter what you do or say. It's going to set the trans person off, so he won't even want to talk to you again. He'll be like I'm leaving, I'm not coming home for Thanksgiving, all this kind of stuff Probably he was going to do that anyway.
Katie Coblentz:But now you've asked these questions, not expecting an answer. You've asked them neutrally, not leading. Oh well, is it this part of men? Don't lead them into the answer, just kind of. Then they're going to go home that night or back to their college dorm or whatever it is, and your voice asking that question might play over and over again in their head. What duties of manhood. And they can't shake it Like oh man, manhood comes with duties. Like I'm not just this free floating individual, iating individual. I actually have a relationship and a responsibility to others. I can't say that I'll turn their mind around right then and there, but it's probably better than just arguing with the person.
Katie Coblentz:So when somebody says you know, I'm invited to not even a trans experience, but like a gay wedding or something like that, what advice would you give them? Do they go? Don't they go? Do they buy a present? Don't buy a present. Do they say something?
Katie Coblentz:So I think that there are different ways to handle it. Sometimes I've seen people first of all I would say don't go to the wedding, because then you're witnessing to something that is well. One, it's an abomination and two, it's a perversion of what marriage actually is. Marriage is actually for something and two men or two women cannot get married. Marriage is for children. You have children, you educate your children, you raise them in the faith. That's what marriage is for.
Katie Coblentz:Now, people get married later in life. People experience infertility. I myself, I don't have a womb If we have children. We're adopting children. I won't have biological children, but marriages between a man and a woman, no matter the circumstances, people get married later in life. A spouse dies and somebody remarries and they're post-menopause and can't have children. That's still ordered toward in principle. What marriage is for. It's a man and a woman. So I would say do not witness the ceremony. Some people, some Christians, and I've not been faced with the issue of do I go or do I not go. I've not been faced with a gay wedding or anything like that. So some Christians have decided I'll go to the reception. It's at a different place. If I get a gift. It will be sort of a housewarming gift. If they're just moving in together, or if they've already bought a house and it's your niece and you've already given her a housewarming gift, you might just stop there. So there are different ways to go about it.
Katie Coblentz:But in the end you're trying to build a relationship.
Katie Coblentz:Yeah, and it's really important to meet people where they are without compromising your own values. So that would be my advice for the gay wedding is what would I do if I were faced with that? I would not witness the actual marriage ceremony because it's not a marriage ceremony and I won't have a part of it. But if it's somebody close to me, they're already going to be upset about that, but hopefully they won't be focused on that. If it's their wedding day, maybe I'll buy a toaster. Oh yeah, housewarming gift.
Katie Coblentz:And you can call it that Now you've had. You were telling us earlier, before we came on air, that you've had protesters. People show up when you've done public or political type gatherings. What is their number one objection to you? What is the thing that seems to set them off?
Katie Coblentz:And they're set off because I'm basically saying that a transgender identity well I am saying a transgender identity is an invalid identity, because a person can't be transgender, you can't be the thing that you aren't. And they're usually set off by that. Studies that they conclude that transgender is actually good for people. But they'll only follow people for three years and I say, well, I was happy with my transition for seven years. What do you say about that?
Katie Coblentz:Or they'll talk about disorders of sexual development, where, if I'm saying transgender identities are not valid, because they're not and because that's the truth and I'm right about it, they will say, well, what about a person who experiences some intersex condition? And they'll kind of go off about how there's different types of males and different types of females. So what they want is this it's the gender binary. Then I'm like, yep, that exists, there are men and women. They're like, no, there's not, there's not. But the ironic thing is they use the gender binary to determine if they're transgender. If a person is biologically female but doesn't like princesses and instead likes Spider-Man, well then they're said to be transgender and they're said to be, then, a male.
Katie Coblentz:So it doesn't make a lot of sense what they come to protest because it's rooted in emotion, you know, and and I think part of it is if I'm saying things as a detransitioner and say, yep, this actually happens and it can happen to you and you can detransition, and this is a a false ideology and a false anthropology and all this kind of stuff. Their identity is being attacked and they they feel it as a personal attack. Now, when I was identifying as transgender, I would not have had the guts to listen to a detransitioner speak. So the people who have come just to debate me or whatever they want to do, they're actually probably a lot more courageous than I ever was, because at least they're going and listening to me. I wouldn't have done that. I would have scrolled right past the videos of detransitioners, and I did scroll right past them.
Jeff Samelson:Think about your story again. I was just thinking about what if somebody were making a movie of your life and I was thinking the LGBTQ people, if they wanted to make this movie the trauma of your life that you're trying to overcome was being born in a woman's body and the climax would come. The happy ending would be when you have successfully, fully transitioned. We know more of your story now, but there are lots of Christians. If they were making let's make the Katie story, that point would be the this is the bad thing she has to conquer, and it would. You know the climax, the happy ending would be oh, and she realized it was all wrong and she found God and she detransitioned and oh, look, she got married.
Jeff Samelson:Everything is happy from here on, but as Christians, we realize that, no, that still is just kind of the beginning of your story, and you've got so much more. Of course, we don't know the ending yet, but the real meat of your story is what follows all those things that we've just talked about. How do you think of it then, as you're thinking of your story then, as an unfolding one, what are the things that are important to you and that you really want people to know about?
Katie Coblentz:Well, actually let me back up just a little bit because I actually really like I never thought about if these different sides made a movie about my life. So I just want to say, and I'll say it briefly the transgender activist side making a story about my life would stop at the end of transition and would just say, yep, that's as far as she went and that's it Lived happily ever after. And there are a few reasons for that. One is if we talk about detransition, then it's attacking their identities. But there is this idea floating around the internet and it is more common than you think, and it's more common even when you find out about it than you'd like to believe. And it's called death before detransition, where people who experience transition regret they would rather die before they detransition. And that could be for a variety of reasons either because the task of detransition is insurmountable, it seems, which it did seem like that for me.
Katie Coblentz:It is really hard to admit. Hey, this big, big big thing that I convinced everybody I was right about, I was wrong about, Can you trust me to make big decisions again? That's really hard. Well, and it keeps the ideology alive if you never detransition, but imagine you spend your time fighting with your christian parents or family members, or just with christians in general. You're like this is right, this is right, this is right. And all of a sudden you have the same realization I did and you start to regret it. I'm not going to give the christians what they want. I'm not going to give my parents what they want.
Katie Coblentz:What would hurt these people more than me being trans is probably me being dead. And so we see a lot of, we see an increase in suicide rates among transgender people post-surgery, and these people are unfortunately, have died. They've committed suicide tragically, so we can't ask them did you begin to regret it? But it is common to start regretting it or to have the effects of the surgery. So there is a death before detrans and they would just cut my story off right there and they might even twist the story and say, oh yeah, she actually ended up committing suicide because she didn't have enough family support or something outrageous like that. And that's kind of and that's what it is is you transition and then you die and there's no room for detransition, and that's that's just something that's understood. And some of the activists, the people who have been so brainwashed, they're part of that and they will rather die than detransition and give the other side what they want they're just so steeped in the ideology.
Katie Coblentz:But back to the question about where do I go from this point forward? And kind of, because my story is not over, it's just beginning. I've been a Lutheran for two years. I've been back to church for only two years. I think that it looks like a lot of what we've been doing my husband's on vicarage right now, so we're just moving back and forth from the seminary to a vicarage and then back to the seminary and then to a call, god willing, studying the Bible very deeply, which is something that and I'm sure everyone's experienced it at first, when you first start saying you're like, wow, this connects to this and there's just so many cross references, you're like, well, and then the Hebrew actually means something even deeper. I mean I'm still breathtaking by a lot of the stuff that I'm learning about. And now I have I call him my live-in seminarian.
Katie Coblentz:So every time I come across, something.
Katie Coblentz:It doesn't matter how many times I read Exodus. I like Exodus. I think most people do, I still. Hey, I have a question. Yeah, what's your question? Yeah, when Moses, like I just keep coming up with more stuff, more studying.
Katie Coblentz:One thing that we want to do, my husband and I want to do, is adopt children, and we've not decided if that would be infant, domestic or international. Would it be foster care, foster adoption? There's just so many different ways to go and honestly, we just pray every day that we're open to caring for whoever God places in front of us to care for, and we would really like to have our own children and to be able to adopt. I think that would be absolutely amazing. But right now, God's placed us at a church in Wisconsin and we love it. There's a preschool, so we're able to love all the children, all the congregation members.
Katie Coblentz:We're in a nice little neighborhood, we know some people in the neighborhood, so I guess it just looks like that just more and more love. And it's amazing, when your foundation is Christ, how much love is poured into you by Christ and how much you're able to then pour that out for others. Be like, yes, I do love you because Christ loves us and it's just. It is just amazing and that's something that I was missing before, like I wasn't just confused, I was empty. You know, christ was loving me every day and I was still alive every day and I still had opportunities to serve people, and Jesus loves us more than anyone else ever could. But I mean the fact that one I even survived the hysterectomy because, that was a disaster.
Katie Coblentz:Okay, the doctors called it an adventure. It was a little more than an adventure. I'll tell you that that was bad, but I think it just looks like we just keep living and keep loving and just stay centered on Christ.
Jeff Samelson:You mentioned courage earlier when you were talking about some of the people who came to protesters and such. I would guess that you were told at various points in your transition oh, you're being so brave to go ahead with this. We see that in the media, with various figures that are held up as oh so courageous to do the thing that you always want to do, and I'm sure there are plenty of people right now who say you're so courageous to be doing what you're doing now. Do you have any thoughts on courage as far as the people who are going to be listening to this or passing on the things that they learn here?
Katie Coblentz:Yes, it took absolutely no courage to transition because everything was set up so well that if you can picture a child's train track now they build with their wooden train tracks and then the trains have a magnet and they all stick to each other. Play with these all the time at the preschool. The trains stick to each other. When you start transitioning, the train's already moving. The first one's battery operated and there's only two more attached to it. They just, oh, just, stick your magnet on there.
Katie Coblentz:Oh, you're so courageous. Oh, my goodness, how are you still going? I'm not doing anything. I feel like I'm just pedaling downhill right now. I'm doing nothing, I'm just being pulled along. It's the easiest thing I've ever done. But because you know, the evil Christians, as they'll say, keep trying to stand in the way of it. Oh, you're so brave to stand up to those Christians. What are the Christians going to do? They just tell you hey, Jesus loves you. You should probably stop hurting yourself. He doesn't like when you do that to yourself. That's all they're saying. And now people do say all the time about how courageous I am now for speaking out, and I will tell you I don't have any courage of my own If I had to rely on my own courage, I wouldn't have said a word, I wouldn't have even detransitioned. But I'm able to rely on God and on that courage, Be able to okay. God, I need courage right now.
Christa Potratz:It's all right.
Katie Coblentz:I'll pull you through this. Hop on my train. That's a much better one. So the first time I ever did any speaking event, I was too scared to stand up. It was at a pastor's conference and right before I was supposed to stand up and speak, I thought I was going to pass out. I had all the telltale signs I'm going to pass out. I can't do this.
Katie Coblentz:Well, some of us feel that way now.
Katie Coblentz:But I stood up and I started talking and all that melted away. And what was the difference? Well, when I felt all those signs, I just prayed and I said, god, I can't do this. If I'm supposed to stand up there and talk, you kind of just have to get me started, because I'm not going to do it and I really was going to walk away. Same thing when I first started speaking at more political events. I was with some people in New Hampshire and with Chloe Cole, and I wasn't sure if I was going to share my story publicly. Yet the only thing I'd done was the private pastor's conference and I prayed and I said, god, listen, I don't have the courage to just put my story out there. I don't have this go-getter attitude about the detransition awareness stuff. So if you want my story out there, do it yourself. That's basically what I said. Real nice of me, just do it yourself. I'm not doing it.
Christa Potratz:Well, next thing we know Vivek Ramaswamy's bus pulls up and he wants to do an impromptu interview with the detransitioners, and I just kind of got yanked over to it and here he is asking me and posting it on his Twitter and he's a presidential candidate. This was when he was running for president. He wanted to do it and I was like, well, all right, we'll call that an answer to a prayer. I do just want to ask too.
Christa Potratz:You know, we do have pastors and I mean obviously you know lay people too that attend congregations and stuff too. What was it that was super helpful that your pastor said and everything to you, and I mean especially to like you know, just even hearing you walking into a Lutheran church, I don't know. I mean, in my mind I'm picturing maybe a smaller church or a lot of, like elderly people or you know, this is not maybe like. I mean, some people maybe could get lost in the shuffle in a large, non-denominational church. What was your perception walking into a Lutheran Missouri Synod church and your connection with the congregation and then your pastor, my home church?
Katie Coblentz:it's not as ornate as a lot of churches that we see, so especially not coming from the Catholic tradition. But then I went to these big churches that really didn't have much going for them at all, just looked like an auditorium. So there's some stained glass windows very nice ones, by the way. I do like the stained glass that we have there but it's a newer church. It was a church plan. It's been rapidly growing since the 90s, but it's a young church in that the congregation has not been a congregation for a while. But we have old people and we have young people and we have families, and we have some families have kids in college, some families have kids in preschool, and I'm not sure what our numbers are for a Sunday service. But we had two services, maybe a couple hundred people. So it was big enough that I probably couldn't have been anonymous because they're all so close to each other, they're all so friendly and I was like at the Catholic church you can just walk in and sit in the back and walk out. No one will ever know who you are.
Katie Coblentz:But at the Lutheran church I didn't have that option. I had to meet people. They were all standing in Narthex, talking to each other. Hey, how's it going? They love each other. So that was a little bit of a shock to me, because then I'm thinking, oh boy, I'm going to have to actually make friends here. It was really easy at first to say I want to go to a church. That won't affirm my delusion. But then when I was actually there, and every Sunday morning I would walk in.
Katie Coblentz:Hey Katie hearing my birth name, katie, was like fingernails on a chalkboard. I would walk in. I would walk in. I'd have to brace myself before I opened the door to the narthex because people would greet me with my quote-unquote dead name is what they call it, the name that you have before you transition. And church was the only place I was doing that and that's because my pastor, he encouraged me gently, but then when I started doing it less gently, to just try using your old name, try just being Katie, just that church. You don't have to tell your parents, you don't have to tell your friends yet let's just try it here.
Katie Coblentz:He compared because when I went in there I was feeling like, look at all this damage I did to myself. I'm irredeemable, I can't get anything back from like. I can't get my womb back, I can't get anything back from like. I can't get my womb back, I can't get my breast back. None of this can be restored. So can I still be saved?
Katie Coblentz:And he's saying well, you know, when we talk about issues, mostly about the Sixth Commandment, it's like well, let's compare it to a couple who tragically experiences a divorce. And you know these sins. That are sins, but I was seeing as lesser. Oh well, it's not as bad to get a divorce or a gay marriage or things like that as it is to transition.
Katie Coblentz:And he was like no sin is sin and let's call it what it is, but people rebuilt from that and that was a really helpful thing and also so that's what my pastor said, and my pastor is a great pastor the priest who I went to confession with actually told me and I think sometimes this might be controversial, but as Lutherans and as Protestants, I think we do overcorrect a little too much is. He pointed me to Christ, of course, and he pointed me to Mary the priest, and he said Mary, the mother of God, is your best role model. And I still think that that's true for Christian women, that everything we do like Mary should be pointing to Christ. And what's the last thing that we hear from Mary is do whatever Jesus tells you, and that's kind of and that is a really good role model for women. Okay, is a really good role model for women, okay.
Christa Potratz:Well, katie, a lot of really good stuff here today. Thank you so much for talking with us. I mean really, it's a huge blessing to have you to be able to share your story. I was talking to my husband about it and he was like, yeah, it's got to be like one in a million people that that would happen to you know. I mean just, but it's really. I mean it's a, it's really a beautiful story and, like Jeff said too, I mean one that isn't done yet as well. So, thank you. If people want more information or want to get in contact with you, what's your advice?
Katie Coblentz:That's actually a really good question. I've been doing if you're part of a congregation and you would like me to come and speak. Because we've been moving a lot and seminary life is really busy, I've dialed it back a bit. But if people do get in touch, I think if your congregation wants me to come, I like to speak to congregations. I do breakfast, I do dinners, whatever people want.
Katie Coblentz:You want to have a women's breakfast and have me come speak? That's fine. Or you just want to have me come speak during the Sunday Bible study? I'm usually open to those sorts of things, though if I'm being a little pickier with it, it's nothing personal, it's just it's hard for us to get away on weekends these days, and what I typically will do really, however the people want it to be structured at the church is I can do a 20-minute talk with like a two-hour long Q&A. I can do an hour-long talk with a 15-minute Q&A, or I could just kind of come and we can have a conversation about this stuff during the Bible study hour. I've done it all sorts of ways, so I'm super flexible with it, and if it's hard to get a schedule going with me, I apologize in advance.
Katie Coblentz:It's hard for me to schedule everything these days.
Christa Potratz:If anyone is listening and wants to get in touch with Katie at all, please reach out to us. You can find us at lifechallengesus. Send a message to us and we'll be happy to share that information with Katie. Thank you so much again for joining us and we want to thank all of our listeners for tuning in, and if you have any questions on this episode also, you can reach us at lifechallengesus and we'll look forward to having you back next time. Thanks a lot. Thank you Bye.
Jeff Samelson:Thank you for joining us for the Life Challenges podcast from Christian Life Resources. Please consider subscribing to this podcast, giving us a review wherever you access it and sharing it with friends. Giving us a review wherever you access it and sharing it with friends. We're here to help, so if you have questions on today's topic or other life issues, you can submit them, as well as comments or suggestions for future episodes at lifechallengesus or email us at podcast at christianliferesourcescom. You can find past episodes and other valuable information at lifechallengesus, so please check it out. For more about our parent organization, please visit christianliferesourcescom. May God give you wisdom, love, strength and peace in Christ for every life challenge.
