The Life Challenges Podcast
Modern-day issues from a Biblical perspective.
The Life Challenges Podcast
Thoughts, Prayers, and What Next
When sorrow hits the headlines—or lands in our homes—saying “thoughts and prayers” can feel either deeply kind or painfully empty. We unpack why that phrase draws so much fire, and how to turn it from a reflex into a lifeline by praying with purpose and following through with real help. With Pastors Bob Fleischmann and Jeff Samelson, we explore the power of intercession, the pitfalls of vague sentiment, and the simple shifts that make care tangible.
We dig into what honest prayer looks like: starting with adoration, naming specific needs, and remembering that the Lord’s Prayer centers the spiritual before the physical. From processing personal loss to responding to national disasters, we talk through practical petitions—comfort, strength for the next day, protection from bitterness, wise leaders, open doors for mercy—and why “How can I pray for you?” beats a generic promise every time. You’ll hear stories from ministry and real life that show how serving and praying belong together, not as either/or but both/and.
If you’ve ever wondered what to say when words fail, this conversation offers tools you can use today: ask better questions, pray on the spot, act within your reach, and keep the long view of love. We also balance James 2’s call to meet urgent needs with James 5’s assurance that “the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” The result is a clear, warm path away from clichés and toward care that actually helps.
If this resonates, share it with a friend who needs encouragement, subscribe for more thoughtful conversations, and leave a quick review to help others find the show. Got a question or a story to add? Send it our way at lifechallenges.us.
The ministry of Christian Life Resources promotes the sanctity of life and reaches hearts with the Gospel. We invite you to learn more about the work we're doing: https://christianliferesources.com/
On today's episode.
SPEAKER_01:Just as the Lord's Prayer of all the petitions, only one is focused on the things that we most likely pray for, our daily needs, our physical things like that. The emphasis is on the spiritual. When we are praying for people in response to some tragic news or something like that, don't get so caught up in the physical needs and the intricacies of their situations that you neglect to pray for them spiritually, for their spiritual health. Welcome to the Life Challenges Podcast from Christian Life Resources. Our world today presents people with complicated issues of life and death, marriage and family, health, and science. It can be a struggle to understand or deal with them. We're here to help by bringing good information and a fresh biblical perspective to these matters and more. Join us now for Life Challenges.
SPEAKER_00:Hi, and welcome back. I'm Krista Potratz, and I'm here today with Pastors Bob Fleischman and Jeff Samelson. And today's episode is going to be on the topic of thoughts and prayers. This is an episode that we have been wanting to record, I think like maybe six weeks or so now. And it came up when there were some tragedies and things in the news and thinking about this topic, how many people, many Christians, will offer thoughts and prayers, or maybe just many people in general, too, during a time of tragedy. And sometimes it is very hard to know what to say when something happens. And uh, and then more and more tragedies and different things have come up even since that, too. And I'm sure there'll be many more. But uh it just really begs the question, too, is this the best thing to say? And what is really meant by this topic of thoughts and prayers? Because there is a lot of criticism from people that say, well, Christians, all you do is offer thoughts and prayers. And uh so we just wanted to pull apart this topic and talk about it today. Where we maybe want to start our focus is with the criticism that there is around this topic. And Jeff, if you'd maybe like to kind of expand a little bit on what the criticism is, and then if if there is any validity to any of it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it's it's understandable in a sense that uh if you you witness, you know, whether it's just on the news or or or personally, uh, or it happens to you, something really uh tragic, uh something catastrophic. And people that you think should be doing something in response to that say nothing more than, oh, you have my thoughts and prayers, or or or something like that. You're you're gonna feel, well, wait a second. That's meaningless. There's something you could be doing. And and that's really where the validity does come in, because too often many people do actually respond to uh uh something like this as is really nothing more than a sop. A kind of, well, something bad happened, and well, I should say something, uh, so I'll say this and make it look like I care when they really don't care all that much. It's just checking off a box saying, okay, I I I said something appropriate. But sometimes also this thoughts and prayers is uh offered actually in in place of action, or of thoughtful words that can be of actual and perhaps immediate benefit. Imagine having an accident and being brought to the emergency room and having the doctor examine you and say, You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. You'd say, Well, wait a second, you know, there there's there's something more you should be doing here. Uh or imagine you you you tell a good friend some uh some really terrible news about a death in your family, and she says, Oh, you you'll you'll be in my my my thoughts and prayers. But uh hey, did you hear what Jan Janet was w uh wearing at the party last week? Or yeah, you know, you're just like, Well, wait a second. There should be more there. And that's that's where the criticism is valid.
SPEAKER_02:One of the things that's very common today is at the end of conversations, people say, Well, love you. Love you. And of course I'm thinking, well, you don't even know me. There's a lot about our faith that can be um superficially practiced. And that was always a problem, certainly in the Old Testament. They were criticized about you go through the motions, you you hear, but you're not listening. Well, you you see, but you're not watching. You know, in other words, there's a super superficiality about it all. And quite honestly, I'm as guilty as the next person. One of my morbid uh hobbies is sometimes if I'm going to a uh visitation of uh at the funeral home of somebody that you know I kind of know and uh the family, I sometimes like to sit close to the front because I like to listen to kind of the unusual and awkward things people say because they don't know what to say and they don't know what to do. Well, that's kind of how I feel about the thoughts and prayers comments, is that sometimes people, I mean, genuinely don't know what to do. And I've encountered that myself with what we're going through with Diane's brain cancer and so forth. Uh, there's a lot of people who don't know what to do. And so they'll say, Well, you're on our prayer list, uh, we're remembering you in prayer and so forth. And I I presume they are. There's a there's a few of them who actually go out of their way to show that it's true. There's a church that uh out of the clear blue, every once in a while I'll get a card from them that says that somehow we're still on their radar. So there is a lot to this. I I do recall though, um under the reign of King Saul, you know, remember Saul kind of drifted away from God and was going trying to kill David and that kind of stuff. The people kind of drifted away with Saul. And so Samuel uh comes and they they say, you know, about would you pray for us, you know, because or and Samuel says, I would be sinning if I didn't pray for you. And that was kind of jarring when I read that because there were times in my ministry where you know I'd go to a pastor's conference and I'd hear other pastors who would talk about beginning their day with a list of of a literal a physical list of members in their congregation and how they would just pray about it. And so I was always struck that Samuel would say that I'd be sinning if I didn't do it. And because every inclination of the heart is evil, uh leave it to us to quickly take something as noble and as right as prayer and make it something superficial. We just tend to do it. And but in in defense of people, sometimes there isn't anything else you can do.
SPEAKER_00:You know, Bob, you touched on a lot there, and I think one of the things too when you said people just don't know what to do, and that that is why maybe they offered that. Are there any other reasons that would maybe make the criticism with thoughts and prayers not valid?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, well, um, if you're the one making that criticism, you're presuming that you know what that other person's feelings and motivations and and opportunities and abilities actually are when that hasn't been communicated. You're assuming there's something more the other person could be doing, or you're assuming that it's merely superficial. And that's that's rarely fair or or just. Another thing is that when you're making that that criticism, and and this I think is true of a lot of the stuff that's gone public after some tragedy or something, and that people are there, you people with your thoughts and prayers, this is useless. Offer something that's of actual value. What it betrays is a uh disbelief or weak belief in the power of prayer. You know, as Bob was talking about this, prayer is just this wonderful privilege, this powerful thing that that we are uh given as uh as Christians to do. And I'll put it this way the merely human response, you know, or or justification of saying you're in my thoughts and prayers is you're saying, I care, I sympathize, I understand how awful this is, this affects me, and it's gonna stay in my mind. Just on a human to human level. That's that that's a connection. You know, that's that's that has value. But for the Christian, when we say you're gonna be in my thoughts and prayers, you're saying this matters so much to me that I'm gonna use my privilege as a child of God to intervene. I'm going to go to him, I'm gonna hold him to his promises to me and to others, and I'm gonna ask him to exercise his compassion and use his power on your behalf. That's what it means when a Christian says you're gonna be in my prayers, or at least that's what it should mean. And to assume that somebody's just brushing you off with a comment like that, that's although that that's not good.
SPEAKER_02:Aaron Ross Powell You know, one of the problems I have is I get requests from people, it'll come to me like this. I have a friend that's going through a real hard time right now. Would you just um say a prayer for them? And of course, my first re reaction is, for whom? What's the problem? What what am I I already ask God all the time for his kingdom to come, his will to be done. And you haven't even given me a name, let alone to bring something specific. I've always been frustrated by that because it I it's almost treating the request for prayer as superficially as we sometimes are being accused of treating prayer. It's like if we just get everybody to talk to God about this, he'll figure it out. He'll know who it is. You know, and and of course I know that, but it's I always just find it frustrating. I like I'm more into specifics, you know. If if somebody's a hard time in marriage, you know, I'd like to talk to God about that and and then try to add to my prayer if there's something I can do to help make that path clear. Which I think satisfies a little bit of the concern, Jeff, that you raised about people who could be doing more. I always remember uh this is boy, this is like thirty years ago. Uh if we had a good friend of ours, um I was ten.
SPEAKER_00:You were ten, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:And she had she had talked about there was a lady in the congregation who had breast cancer, and with her breast cancer was this incredible testimony of faith. And so she said, and we have it I have it filmed. It's it's we got it on video someplace. And she said, um so I prayed to God that I would someday have that kind of boldness of faith and everything. And she and she said and then one day I was diagnosed with breast cancer, which uh she wasn't expecting, and and it later took her life. And but she was incredibly bold because she had prayed. She I she literally said, you know, I I was looking for an avenue that I might glorify God and serve others. So she was remarkable, but a lot of times we kind of overlook that. You know, we first of all you go to God, why? Because he's your father. He's the one you you should have your most intimate and confidential discussions with. Secondly, he's Lord of all, so he can do things. But third, this is not a get off the hook option. Now use me as your servant.
SPEAKER_00:One of the questions, too, that wanted to talk about was this idea of how might being a Christian perhaps make it harder to respond to the news of some tragedy or great need.
SPEAKER_01:Aaron Powell We represent Christ. So we have a high standard to live up to, and often high expectations, sometimes false, from the people that we we meet or who interact with us or whatever. We want to reflect Christ, reflect who we are, reflect our identity. We want to be wise and loving. Uh we want to think more of the other person than of ourselves, all those things. And this can be a challenge in any situation, um, because we're not perfect, but uh especially when there's a lot of emotion involved or there's some kind of relational or cultural baggage uh attached to a situation, just makes it uh difficult because we understand there is a higher standard, and maybe people are holding it us to it, or maybe uh it's we're it's just a standard we're holding ourselves to, but it's something that um we have in mind when when we're thinking, okay, how should I respond? What should I do?
SPEAKER_02:Aaron Ross Powell If we were a bit more proactive in thinking of others ahead of ourselves, it raises the question what should be the content of our prayer? We talk to God and sometimes we treat God a little bit like a therapist. It bothers us that somebody's going through a hard time, and so we talk to God about it. And of course, nowadays we can replace God in that role with AI. That's the big controversy going on, is that people start treating AI like a therapist. God is the one we go to because he's the one from whom all blessings flow. He is the Lord over life and of death. Everything is in his hands. There's certain things that we know about God, and he does permit hardship to come into lives. So it does narrow down the question, what do we ask about? I think the reason prayer sounds always so superficial nowadays is because people have contentless prayers. You know, in other words, I'm not asking for anything in particular, but I really feel bad, and I feel bad that they feel bad. So if you can help them not feel bad, that would be good. That's not a bad thing to ask for, but is that really all that you want to ask for? I always think of the prayer that when Jeff and I are stepping into a pulpit, you've seen the pastor bow his head and say a prayer. Do you ever wonder what we pray? You know, I I don't know what Jeff prays, but I know what I pray, and that is help me despite myself. You know, in other words, my fobbling, my stumbling over the words, remove all barriers so that they hear your message. You know, and that's it. I mean it there's a clear intent. It's not just a pious bowing of my head for display. Now when we look at the national scene, you know, and on a national scene, our thoughts and prayers are with the family. That's oftentimes what our leaders will say. And again, I'm going to take them at their word, that they're both thinking about them and that they're praying about them. You know, when my when my dad died, which I still, you know, I just told somebody the other day, I don't think I have fully processed it yet. But when he died, I remember um I just my prayer to God was, you know, somehow make it beneficial so that your kingdom is furthered from it. In other words, there was an object to the prayer, there was a purpose for the prayer. And I think we miss that a lot. But I think uh going through what I've gone through with Diane and then with my dad um has done wonders for my prayer life.
SPEAKER_00:I've yeah, I think um I mean that is really a great point too, Bub, how we should pray in response to bad news, the kind of things that we should ask for. What are some things that maybe are really good to ask for in these um in these moments of tragedy?
SPEAKER_01:Aaron Powell Well, we should be um asking for comfort for the people who are who need comfort. Uh I mean that's that's the way I often pray is you just Lord give them what they need. If it's X, then X, if Y then Y. Particularly when somebody's uh suffering a death in the family. I often pray that they for strength for them because I recognize that that's sometimes just getting up the next morning and thinking of all the things that you've got to face without your loved one. You need that strength. Help through grief. Perhaps somebody who's been dealing with grief for a really long time, you might be asking that they are able to come to the end of it. If I knew Bob's situation, I could be praying, you know, help him process his father's death if that was something that I I knew to be the issue there. You know, and if it comes to a you know, some major national tragedy or something like that, you're going to be praying about not just about the the people involved, but how this affects the nation's politics, how this uh affects some cases the economy of an area. You know, it's just you think about all the things that have gone wrong or that could go wrong, and uh you you pray about those things.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Interesting too, as you were talking, like you were talking about the things you'd think of. And then I kind of thought, oh yeah, it kind of does link the thoughts and prayers part of it for a Christian. I mean, we can think about these things and put serious amount of thought into our prayers. It's kind of a neat, a neat thing, neat connection.
SPEAKER_02:About, oh, I don't know, maybe uh eight, ten months ago, I was uh listening to some podcast or something, and they were uh one of the theologians, they were talking about prayer, and he made the observation that in the Lord's Prayer, it begins with adoration of God. Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. And his and his point was is that you know, when you're you're called, you're created in life to glorify God in all things, that that really is the starting point to prayer. So having heard that, you know, and then I started reading through the Psalms, and it's amazing how the Psalms, there's a point to the Psalms sometimes, but you don't get to it till like midway through. You know, the whole beginning is you formed the heavens, you created the world, out of nothing came something. You know, uh all of these wonderful and very large statements about God. I've tried to bring that into my prayer life. Now it's starting off with first of all, before I before I get to my petition list everything I'm gonna ask for, I'm gonna first of all acknowledge why I'm here in the first place. And that is because there's nobody I know in my entire life who can do what you can do. The other day I was with a real good friend and they were going through some wrestling, just going through some things. So then afterwards I go to God and I go, I don't know the exact words because I don't know everything that's on his mind. I don't know. I said, But God, you know all things. You know, and and I know that you know all things. I mean we see that in scripture. And every in other words, you first of all remind you remind God why out of all the sources of solution, you started with him. So I come to you first. Okay, now I ask. And then uh your requests, your petitions uh are always enveloped within the the parentheses of thy will be done. Because there's the passage which kind of throws you for a curve that says, Well, if you believe, you'll you'll get it. And it's like I wanted that girlfriend when I was in high school. I believed in Jesus. Why didn't I get that particular girlfriend? Because it wasn't within the context of Thy Will Be Done. Well that's kind of like you pray for comfort, but but sometimes what if God decides I'm I'm gonna withhold comfort for a while yet? Well then am I equally satisfied when God doesn't provide the comfort? You learn that from the Apostle Paul. I prayed three times for this to be taken from me, and it wasn't. So I rejoice in my sufferings. It makes for a great reading, you know, epistle reading. It's really hard to practice that though. But that's really a good example, I think.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, your your mention of the the Lord's Prayer, Bob, reminds me of something I I should have answered before, just that just as the Lord's prayer of all the petitions, only one is focused on the things that we most likely pray for, our our daily needs, our physical things like that. The emphasis is on the spiritual. When we are praying for people in response to some tragic news or something like that, don't get so caught up in the physical needs and the you know the intricacies of the their situations that you neglect to pray for them spiritually, for their spiritual health. Pray that uh people who are recovering from this natural disaster, that they are open to people from churches who come, that they listen to, you know, that this becomes an opportunity that they hear the gospel. Pray that this tragic death in your friend's family not become something that that uh embitters him and uh turns him away from God, but rather becomes something that draws him to God and to his Savior and Jesus. Don't neglect to pray for those things. I think sometimes we feel that, oh wow, that that that would be kind of awfully forward of me to to to insert myself and in between him and God. Like, no, that's what you're you know, that's what prayer is for. And that's what love is. Really your primary concern. So don't get so caught up in the minutiae of Billy needs this and she needs that, and they need this other thing that you neglect to talk about the most important thing.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. No, the really good point. This discussion, too, with thoughts and prayers and specifically that phrase too. Is there something that would maybe be better to say than just thoughts and prayers? What what would maybe be um a more appropriate response?
SPEAKER_02:What can I do? I always thought you lead with what can I do? Uh our board chairman and I were talking the other day about this crazy uh Clifton Strengths testing thing. And we we always joke because um uh empathy on mine, you know, out of the 34 strengths, empathy is like 30. Uh Jim goes, that doesn't seem right. And I go, I said, I d I'm d I don't wear empathy on my sleeve. But I'm horribly empathetic. Probably the word horribly is correct. I mean I I d I feel every pain and every sorrow and stuff. And uh but I I've it's in my nature to always be proactive. Why? Because prayer is something I do privately and and I'm gonna put you on the spot, Krista. When when your father when you had to fly down to Texas for your dad and stuff, and we you know, so Diane and I immediately we did something. You know, we we brought some food over into the house and everything. But I don't talk about and so this is the first time you're hearing this, I don't talk about coming home and starting to cry and praying to God, you know, for guidance to help you and so forth. So in other words, I'm not saying you I well I guess what I am saying is you lead with the desire to serve and part of the arsenal of service is prayer. You know, so if you start and do something first, you know, now maybe you need to pray and say, God guide me, that what I do first is what's most needed. Now I'm not sure all of the the candy and the sweets that I bought for your kid is wasn't necessarily appreciated by your husband, you know, but but you know I think the kids loved it. The kids loved it. I've been popular with them ever since.
SPEAKER_00:They called you um Bobby Fleischmann. That was that was the moment where I realized, okay, we need to start calling you Pastor Fleischmann in front of them. But um no, I I mean, um kind of to the point too. I I think like if you know somebody, maybe then you can do something more for them. Or um what I have even just done too, like if I see somebody post something on Facebook that is um just like hard going on in their life, I will just send them a personal message with a prayer in it. And I I I think sometimes that is a nice thing to do uh because um I think, you know, um maybe one of you earlier in this episode mentioned too that uh or just alluded to the fact that sometimes we say or people say thoughts and prayers and then they don't actually pray for that. If you are going to use that phrase or tell somebody that you're praying for them, it it probably is a good practice to do it right away, maybe before you forget. Because um, I mean, uh obviously, you know, we know too as as Christians that praying is is an awesome thing to do. I mean, it isn't the least we can do, it really is such a a great and almost uh the most we can do in in some ways too. And so just to really be able to actually pray, would we say we're gonna do that?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, a lot depends on your relationship to the person you're responding to. I mean, if this is, you know, somebody you just met at the store and you're never gonna see again, the depth of your response is gonna change. And if you say, What can I do? It's like, well, you're never gonna see me again. There's there's not a whole lot there. But on the other hand, if this this is somebody that you're you're fairly close to, you can ask, how can I pray for you? Which gives them an opportunity then to share more deeply what's what's on their minds, what's what they're going through, what their struggles are.
SPEAKER_02:So it communicates that you're you're specific. You're not you're not being generic with them.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. If this is something a distant tragedy, and you just you feel you need to be saying something about it, think, okay, yeah, what what is there that I can do? There's been this flooding. Okay, maybe I should contribute to the Red Cross. Maybe I should uh find some way to um to give some practical assistance. Or or maybe part of my response is just gonna be, I'm gonna do what I can to make sure that doesn't happen around here to people that that that I care about because it's reminded me of my responsibilities here. There are all sorts of things that do, and it you you need to be thinking, again, the point you were making before, your thinking connects to your prayers. Just like, how can I keep this from being shallow? How can I make this be something? Told what would Jesus do? There's some lesson from his example, obviously. Okay, how would my my Lord have responded to this if if if if someone had come to him or he had learned this news, what might he have done? Granted, we can't perform miracles, uh, but we can pray for them. But what would he have said? What would he wanted to know? And and take him as an example in that, and and that will probably um inspire you to do more than just say the minimum and just do the minimum.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I th I think what we're trying to do is trying to translate prayer as one tool of a number of things that we can do. Now, what is also interesting is the variety of what people can do. Um, you know, I think of a lot of times uh when I w when I have served as vacancy pastor and pastor of congregations, and I've had uh there's a death in the congregation, so I sit down with the widow or the widower, they they go through kind of a phase of of uselessness. I used to always fix meals for 'em, and I used to always do this, always do that. What can I do? I can't do anymore. I don't even drive. And it is interesting how through life God either reveals that you have abilities that you didn't know you had before, or stamina you didn't know you had before, or through life, sometimes you lose some of that. And then what what happens when you're confined to a wheelchair? It's not just all I can do or I only can do prayer. This is not a small matter. You know, when you when you basically by acknowledging that you're going to pray, uh you're you're you're telling somebody, I have an inside track. You know, I can help. Yeah. You know, and and so and you're going to use it.
SPEAKER_01:This whole topic uh puts in mind for me um the letter of James, you know, in the Bible, that in uh in chapter two, he makes this very strong point. What good is it, my brothers, if someone says that he has faith but has no works? Such faith cannot save him, can it? If a brother or sister needs clothes and lacks daily food, and one of you tells him, Go in peace, keep warm and eat well, but does not give them what their body needs, what good is it? So that's addressing that criticism. You're just saying something good, but you're not actually doing what you can do. But in the same letter at the end in chapter five, James tells us the prayer of a righteous man or righteous person is able to do much because it is effective. Elijah was a man, just like us. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three years and six months. Then he prayed again, and the sky gave rain, and the land produced its harvest. So after making that earlier point about do something, he also comes back at the end of the letter and just says, and pray. It's gonna make a difference. You're going to God. Things will happen because you prayed. So do it and do it for other people.
SPEAKER_00:Well, that's a a great point, Jeff. And thank you both for the discussion today. Thank you for all your thoughts. We appreciate it. If anybody has any questions on this topic or any others, please reach us at lifechallenges.us and we'll see you back next time. Thanks a lot. Bye.
SPEAKER_01:Thank you for joining us for the Life Challenges Podcast from Christian Life Resources. Please consider subscribing to this podcast, giving us a review wherever you access it, and sharing it with friends. We're here to help. So if you have questions on today's topic or other life issues, you can submit them as well as comments or suggestions for future episodes at lifechallenges.us. Or email us at podcast at Christian Life Resources.com. You can find past episodes and other valuable information at Lifechallenges.us, so please check it out. For more about our parent organization, please visit Christian Life Resources.com. May God give you wisdom, love, strength, and peace in Christ for every life challenge!
