Break the Cycle: Embrace Growth, Not Limitations 🌱 - Lesley's Lessons Podcast

Have you ever wrestled with the anxiety of growing older, feeling each year pull you further from youth and closer to a horizon filled with uncertainties? That's the very fear I unpacked during a heartfelt exchange with a guest who dreaded the advancing years. Our conversation unveiled the extraordinary influence of perspective, especially when confronting the trials that age and life inevitably present. We shared stories and wisdom, aiming to inspire listeners to harness the present moment, turning sorrow into strength. Embracing the joy of fresh starts and nurturing self-compassion, I reveal how a consistent, positive outlook can simplify the complexities of life's journey.

But what happens when adversity knocks at our door? This episode peels back the layers of taking personal charge when life throws curveballs. Through the lens of 'Lesley's Lessons', we dissect the potency of reframing experiences, transforming hurtful encounters and feelings of being stuck into stepping stones for growth. I discuss the vital realization that we are our own saviors and how shattering the shackles of complacency and self-imposed limits opens us to a world brimming with possibilities. Together with my guest, we emphasize the inherent power each of us has to reshape our lives, welcoming the winds of change with arms wide open.

Chapters

• 0:01 Looking at Life From Different Perspectives
• 10:36 Empowering Yourself and Embracing Change

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Leslie's lessons. I want to talk to someone who might be looking at the dead leaf on the floor. The plant has turned in life and all you see are the, the leaves that are no longer green. But there is one growing and I want to encourage you.

Speaker 1: 0:29

I was helping a lady at the bar on Saturday night and when I greeted her it was her, her friend and her daughter, and I said are you looking forward to next year? And she said no, because I'll be a year older. And I said well, what's wrong with that? That's a blessing. Why would that be a bad thing? And then she said you're right. You're right, but I wasn't. I didn't care about being right. I actually felt bad that she looked forward. She didn't look forward to it because in her mind it only meant something negative. She just completely overlooked the positives. She had her daughter who ordered a Shirley temple. So definitely there are more years to come and I just it just was actually heartbreaking to see the way she looked at it and sad that she just felt like this is it.

Speaker 1: 1:38

Life is over at this point. Doesn't your daughter need you, your friends? And that's what encouraged me and inspired me to do this post, because it just had me thinking how many others are just thinking that life sucks and what's the point? It's just not gonna get any better, it's just downhill. But life doesn't tempt us and I had to remind myself of that too, sometimes when I just felt trapped. It just feel like, wow, my efforts are not reflecting reality or reality is not reflecting my efforts, but it's just the only way I could look at it. Life does not tempt us to look at life just one way.

Speaker 1: 2:42

You ever see two people and they have similar situations and once you get to know them, they tell you the very similar background. And then you just think to yourself, wow, I would have never guessed that with one of them, this person is smiling, they're just always in a good mood. I would have never thought this person experienced what they did, because they always carry themselves in such an optimistic way. Then the other person you get to know them, a similar background, and I was just thinking, wow, that is sad and you have every right to feel that way. And they just wear it with them like an armor, almost like a badge of honor, because they in their minds have decided to protect themselves with the trauma. And I'm not here to judge how you react to something.

Speaker 1: 3:48

Pain is pain and it's hard, and some things take longer to recover. I'm just offering to you another alternative to what if we decided to limit how long or convert that pain into power? When do we get to do that? Is it when our dreams come true? When we get approved for a loan? When we get that big house that we wanted? When our kids graduate or we get married or we get then makeover or we get more followers?

Speaker 1: 4:34

There's something promising about looking towards a goal, but also I feel like it's a double-edged sword, because we can say we're looking towards the future, but also we could be procrastinating and just buying time and not do anything. It's all about perspective and I know it's hard. Life is hard. It can surprise you, it can hurt you, it could be hard to bounce back, but I don't know if it's about bouncing back as much as it is about discovering, being introduced to another part of yourself and owning that, not allowing yourself to talk yourself out of your greatness, talk yourself out of your gifts, talk yourself out of what makes you special and not compare or judge yourself, because you feel that that keeps you in line like everyone else and it's safer to be accepted when you are like other people. That is too much. That is too much. There's something different in the air about 2024 and it just feels like this is the time to do it, to claim it, to be it, to own it and to leave it all behind. Leave the old way of thinking, leave the pettiness, leave the things that don't matter, like other people's opinions, other people's grudges, other people's problems with you. It is very possible, while life is a life thing, for you to completely still have a smile on your face and to not go home and destroy yourself slowly with drugs or alcohol or depression, but to just give yourself grace, give yourself time to build on your muscles, to be happy to create a fortress of peace that no one can break.

Speaker 1: 7:11

There is more than one way to look at the falling leaf on the floor. There are other options, there is new growth, there is new opportunity, but the most important thing there is the present and how you view it and what you respond to, not just on the outside but internally, not just what you see but what you imagine. You have the authority to turn it off and while it is not just that simple. It requires practice, but it also requires commitment, consistency and grace when you miss the mark, because you will. This is new, but it will be worth it.

Speaker 1: 8:03

I don't feel like, as much as we continue to grow and live, that we will come to a place where we are ever perfect, where everything goes our way. But I do believe if we slow down and simplify our lives, simplify our thinking, our mindset, things become clearer and better. Focus on the new growth, the new green leaf that is growing, and you will begin to see life in a different way. There are more ways to look at things in life instead of the one leaf that fell on the floor. It doesn't mean it can't be replaced. It doesn't mean that the plant is dead and there are no new beginnings on the way. If you look at only the leaf that is on the floor, it's like saying you're not grateful for the new growth that's coming out. You miss the gift in what is still there, what is on the way, if you take care of it. I don't know where you are right now or what is troubling you.

Speaker 1: 9:37

There is more than one way to look at life.

Speaker 1: 9:41

You can either look at the leaf that is on the floor or you can look at the new leaf that is growing. But either way, this is up to you. Life does not tempt you to be depressed. Life gives us options. It is how we look at things is what gets us through. There is always more than one way to see things, but it is up to us to claim that and it's not to say things do not warrant being down, sometimes feeling like you got a bad deal out of life. But it's not the only way to see it.

Speaker 1: 10:36

Maybe things happen to encourage you, to make you grow, to make you grow out of thinking and reacting a certain way, to maybe make you see there are similarities in the things that are happening to you right now, that are negative, things that are tapping you on your mental shoulder, that require your attention. Now more than later, you have more than one way to look at things, but this is a responsibility that solely lies with you, only you. This is not to take away from feeling sad, from having emotions, but what we cannot do is allow those emotions to have us. If someone hurts you, says something that you do not like, offends you, what gift do you give yourself to keep it going over and over again on the inside of your body and your mind and your thoughts. How long until it expires? Or is it just ongoing? Is it the conversation that goes on and on with anyone who will listen? Or do you give yourself the gift of letting it go and not allowing your heart, your life, to be cluttered by vengeance and resentment and rage or anger or regret?

Speaker 1: 12:35

Don't just look at the leaf that is on the floor. Look at the new growth. Keep your mind focused on the possibilities of life. That is the only way you will see life as a gift to be here, to be present, whether you're thinking about aging, not having kids, or having kids and the relationship didn't work out, or you didn't get a commitment, or you have a commitment but they don't see you. Or you have children and the child is not doing well, or a good reflection, or the money is just scarce and it's just bills after bills, or you don't feel your best, you don't look your best, you just see other people succeeding, no matter what, and you just feel stuck.

Speaker 1: 13:35

Is that the only way to look at it, or could we take this as a sign to do something different? Could we take this as a sign to take accountability for ourselves and to realize there is no Superman or Superwoman that is going to save us. No one is coming to save us. You don't have a problem. You don't have an opportunity problem. You have a complacency problem because there is something that you have refused or you have told yourself you cannot do, and now is the time to give yourself the permission you deserve to change it. All you have to do is get out of the way and step into your power and own it. Leslie's Lessons.