Navigating the "Shake-Up Era": Triumph Through Unexpected Challenges | Lesley's Lessons Podcast

What if losing my job was the best thing that ever happened to me? Join me as I navigate the challenging path of balancing survival and passion as a career artist who's found herself in the hospitality industry to make ends meet. After an unexpected layoff, I'll share how I shifted my focus to staying positive and motivated amidst a sea of negativity and changing circumstances.

Drawing inspiration from my Caribbean heritage and my hardworking mother, I'll explore the idea of the "shake-up era," a time when disruptions force us to reassess our priorities and recognize our inner strength.

Maintaining composure in the face of life's shake-ups requires a certain softness and grace that often goes unnoticed. I'll share personal anecdotes, like a frustrating cab ride, to illustrate the power of staying calm and practicing kindness, even when confronted with difficult situations. By tuning into our intuition and inner resilience, we can navigate challenging times with patience and resolve. This episode emphasizes the importance of managing unresolved issues and heavy emotions, urging listeners to face life’s upheavals with a soft but strong approach.

Lastly, I'll delve into the emotional weight of loss and the necessity of disruptive events for personal growth. Whether it's taking pride in menial jobs or overcoming career setbacks, we'll discuss the significance of humility and the value of honest work. Reflecting on my personal losses, I'll underscore the need for a disciplined and positive outlook to overcome life's hurdles. This episode is a heartfelt invitation to believe in yourselves, let go of resentment, and embrace the "shake-up era" with kindness, gratitude, and unwavering self-worth. Join me for an inspiring conversation on resilience and the transformative power of life's unexpected challenges.

Chapters

• 0:18 Navigating Life's Challenges and Transitions
• 6:09 Embracing Softness in Times of Change
• 12:05 Navigating Life's Lessons and Challenges
• 22:46 Embracing Change and Overcoming Loss
• 33:39 Embracing Self-Reflection and Growth

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:18

Leslie's Lessons. I have been a career artist. I make sure that I have a job to pay my bills while I work on my passions on the side. And it's just been more of a challenge lately, as if life is really just telling me, if not now when, um, it's been a hard road. You know, it's been a hard couple of months that, um, I've just had to get used to something. I'm not. I just don't want to talk about like that, but it's just been a hard month. It's just been hard.

Speaker 1: 1:08

And you know, I got laid off and I've taken this time as an opportunity to just look for another job rather than, you know, collect unemployment. Let's just keep busy, let's work and, you know, stay on top of things as best as possible and I've never been afraid of hard work. For those who know, I always keep a job in hospitality, working in the hotel allows you the flexibility. It gives you good benefits, good pay and you can work on what you really want to do. But as you continue to evolve in life and your environment doesn't evolve, it tends to bring problems. And just imagine, you know, you just start getting this negative energy towards you while you're just working on your dreams. That's one aspect, and it can be a challenge. It just, you know, it could just feel like everything is happening at the same time.

Speaker 1: 2:19

And when I got laid off, I just started looking for a job, the last job I just had, while I'm waiting to return to my job. I was a porter, and here I am making sales on my books and I have no shame sweeping the streets in front of a luxury hotel, wiping the mirrors, not the least concerned. Hey, that person looks familiar. No, and I did it with pride, you know, coming from a Caribbean background. Um, my mom, you know, her last job was a housekeeper and was I guess you could put two and two together. Now, still is not something I'm comfortable with talking about, because maybe I'll do another podcast and you guys tell me if that's something you want to hear. Do another podcast and you guys tell me if that's something you want to hear. Do you want to talk about the getting used to someone no longer being there, someone who's your best friend, someone who is your number one fan, and how do you transition with the transition, with the transition, and that might be a new podcast, if I dare to do that.

Speaker 1: 3:49

But right now a lot is happening and I just wanted to reach out and speak to someone who might be feeling overwhelmed with life. You might feel stuck. You might feel like the bills are piling up and you don't know what to do. Maybe the relationship is over. It's struggling. You're just at a point where you just don't understand why you are here and something has to give in order to make this make sense, and I just want to encourage you. It might not make sense.

Speaker 1: 4:25

This might be what I am calling the shake-up era. You are entering your shake-up era. This is now the point where all of your ideas, all of your hopes, your dreams, the things that no longer serve you, it's like jumbled up in a bowl of soup, you know, like a letter soup or something like that, and everything is in there and it is forcing you to decide what stays and what goes, and you have the power to do so. You know, sometimes friends, colleagues or what have you, people cannot offer a listening ear. They have their own lives, they have their own journey, they have their own things that they're trying to do, and you might need that and for some reason, it's just not available, and I just want you to hold on tight and understand that that is intentional. The universe wants you to rely on yourselves. He wants you to realize. The universe wants you to realize that you are more powerful and you have more capabilities than you think, that you do, not just the things that you notice instantly with your strength, and if you can lift up a heavy box, if you can push something that is deemed twice your body size, there's no way you can do that. We're not talking about that strength, talking about inner strength, talking about the compass on the inside.

Speaker 1: 6:09

That sometimes doesn't really get that attention. It gets attention after you are exhausted of trying everything and based off the results that you can measure. But the things that you cannot measure, those are the things that those are the muscles that really need you to work on them. They really need your attention. They need you to see them like. They're not the hip people. You know the cool people in high school, but it's what you really need. You know it's the you really need. Typically, your intuition and all those good things on the inside are usually an afterthought. They're not the cool guys, but they are exactly what you need in order to get to the next step.

Speaker 1: 7:01

This is your shake-up era. Next step this is your shake-up era Things that no longer serve you it is up to you to cut ties with. And this is up to you. There's no arguing, there's no fuss. We're handling things in all softness, in all kindness, in soft voices. We're not arguing, we're not going back and forth. We're just going to sever ties nicely and cleanly. And if someone severs ties with you, we accept it with grace and we move forward.

Speaker 1: 7:39

The other day I was in a cab and, um, I went on an interview, I'm in the union. So, you know, the good thing about a union is, you know, um, you get laid off. You could just get a, you can just go and apply for another job. And, um, it was hot, it was so hot and I know my family's Caribbean, but it was hot and I and I had a ways to walk. I really don't enjoy taking the train, so I took a cab to catch the railroad and when I was in this cab I haven't taken a cab, I don't typically take a yellow cab a lot, so I was trying to figure out the way he had it structured.

Speaker 1: 8:22

It had, like this heavy plastic divider and the way it was and it had the credit card machine and the way the plastic divider was. It was covering where I would think to put my card, insert my card, and I kept trying to get his attention. And I kept trying to get his attention Like, oh, how do I do this, how do you use this? And I know he could hear me. I didn't raise my voice. I spoke in this tone you know soft girl era and he was just yap, yap, yapping away on the phone and I knew after a while this man was just straight up ignoring me, like just figure it out. While he continued to have his conversation and I just kept saying I don't know like, does it go? Like this, can you just how does it go? Nothing, the same tone that I used, just to say, okay, here you go, thank you. Thank you so much. He goes, you're welcome. It was the same tone. You know he didn't want to help me.

Speaker 1: 9:36

I, you know, at another time I might have been like you know, f, you, you frigging, you know, you know something like that. But I didn't, because that is going to open up a door that I am committed to closing, not to say some things. Do not kind of get in sometimes. That's for another day. I have a juicy little story, but I was proud of myself because this could have been a moment. You know, it was like almost 90 degrees, you know the heat's coming down, the AC wasn't working and here I am in a cab with a cab driver who is so consumed in his phone call, could care less about showing me what to do and I could have leaned into that energy. But instead, nope, I just said okay, thank you, thank you so much, and he said you're welcome, you're welcome. Now, maybe let's say he didn't hear me. I don't know, but either way, you know I could have handled it differently and called it out and did all that.

Speaker 1: 10:44

I just say all of this to say that let's practice the softness, because in this shake-up era, it is demanding things from us that we never had to do, whether it's a loss of a loved one, a loss of a job, a business went under, the end of a friendship or something. Wherever you are, it just feels like everyone is dealing with something and it's something that is really shaking you up in different ways. It's forcing you to address certain things that you never had to before and it's challenging. You know you kind of want to blame this person over here, you know, because they should help you fix it. We know it's not right, but it's just frustrating because you don't know where to unload this new energy. It's heavy, it comes at unpredictable times and the worst times. One minute everything's okay, and then you're angry or you want to cry.

Speaker 1: 12:05

Or the other day, when I was in a supermarket, this lady right in front of me, she was wrapping up and then all of a sudden she realized they rang her up wrong. Oh my gosh, she wanted a cookie. For just calling out the fact that they rang it up wrong, I mean, she just wouldn't stop talking and it's like we were just audiences. You know the audience of her show. You see, you got to be careful in here. $1.99,. You know they try to get you in here, so that tells me you're always in here. This has happened before. And what are we going to do? Are we going to keep talking about it? And I'm still struggling. I'm still struggling with loss. I'm still struggling and the way I'm handling it it's private. I don't talk to many people about it. I'm just trying my best.

Speaker 1: 13:02

And that day I think I went on another interview or something and it was another hot day and here I am just wanting to check out my dinner. Like you know, where they sell like the rotisserie chickens and sometimes they have like a pre-made meal. I had two of those and I love like those sesame seed, like Dominican sesame seed candies that they sell by the register. It's a feel good thing. What are you going to do? And I just couldn't wait to get home and just relax.

Speaker 1: 13:38

And I don't know if it was just this lady, just life. But I was fighting back tears. I'm talking about tears. I was fighting it back. Part of me just wanted to let it out and the other part just fought like hell for them not to come out.

Speaker 1: 13:58

I just was just having this moment of like. Why is life doing this of like? Why is life doing this? Here I am, I'm being told I'm this light, I'm inspiring and they get this energy off of me. But life just feels like it's crumbling. It just feels like you know, it doesn't match with me, it doesn't match with my talents or intentions, my heart, and it's like you just see miserable people make it. You just see people who don't deserve it just have what they want and it just has you thinking that life is not set up for you just because you're nice. It's about intention. That mean person or that person who doesn't deserve it. They believe they do and even if they don't believe or like themselves, they have a core value that they believe life owes them something. That's one of the lessons that I've really had to learn and see in real time. It's not always just about a positive attitude. You have to believe you deserve something. You can't tell the universe pretty please, just like you can't tell people pretty please, love me, pretty please, choose me. You just can't. It's not set up for you to compromise your power.

Speaker 1: 15:34

We are in a shake-up era where every day, if it's quiet, you're lucky. But the goal is not just for it to be quiet. If you have things that you want to accomplish, real things have to take place. They just do. Things have to fall out of balance, so to speak. You know the job has to let you go. The friend that you thought you would be friends forever go on silent. The person you are interested in just has to be the person that you realize is not the best fit for you. Something has to happen to shake you up.

Speaker 1: 16:24

It's not comfortable to move all the time. It's not comfortable to start over. Comfortable to move all the time. It's not comfortable to start over. It's not comfortable when you didn't get to decide that this is the time. Right now this is happening and you feel like you can feel it, I have to do this, I have no choice. It's scary, but it's also a time where it's like, oh my gosh, I feel like the things that I prayed for in real time. I feel the different parts moving in my life and that can be an exciting thing, a fearful thing, a little bit of both. But either way, if you are not enthusiastic about it, even if you have your moment of doubts, fear, you just want to lay in bed and cry. You cannot stay there.

Speaker 1: 17:26

To me, depression is something that we press down within. We decide to press down on thoughts, emotions. It's like we plan to stay in this space for an unrestricted amount of time. We do our due diligence, we take care, we go to work, we go to our business, we go to school, we take care of others, but then we make time almost like an appointment to lay in bed or on the couch with the remote, the TV, our snacks, to just be consumed by what is wrong, by what is not happening, not happening, by what is unfair, by what has never happened. Imagine having all of these thoughts of what you could have done better. Why didn't this happen? Why is this always happening? Why did this happen for them? And you can do this all day. And imagine when you get to a point where you just can't stop. Now you're walking around with this perception of life and you just can't stop it now Because now you're seeing life from that specific angle. This is the shake-up era. Snap out of it. Yes, you can snap out of it. It takes consistency, it takes a clear message to replace what you have now established and it takes commitment. That is the only way this is going to work.

Speaker 1: 19:42

When I got let go the other day and they called me on my phone and said, hey, leslie, can you come to the office, and I said okay, no problem, let me just finish throwing out the garbage. I took pride in my job and when I went I felt a little uneasy. But I know, you know it was a temp job. I knew and if you know me, you'd be like, wow the princess. I, if you know me, you'd be like wow the princess. She is a hard worker, no matter what. I sure am. And I said you know what? I've been doing my job, so I don't. Either way, I'm fine. That's what I said to myself. Either way, I'm fine. And when I went to the office they handed me a letter, told me the person that I was working for is returning tomorrow. And that was it basically. And you know, he just threw in a little buffer like oh, we don't be surprised, we call you back in a week. You know people always come back here. And I said okay to me. I didn't know if I proved that I was a hard worker enough.

Speaker 1: 20:53

It's been pretty quiet when I worked. They didn't really have to tell me anything. They called me one time to wipe a mirror in the elevator and that was it. Other than that I stayed busy. I was vacuuming, didn't care who saw me. I was outside on the street just vacuuming the rug in front of the hotel, sweeping, doing everything that was part of my job duty. I even went into the men's room and part of my duty was to check that the toilets were clean. Oh my gosh, such anxiety. But once I was done training and I did voice that to them.

Speaker 1: 21:35

This was not explained to me directly in the interview. I still said we have to stay on task because we have things to do, you know. And, um, I did it, you know, at first. And they would tell me just put the sign outside and just tell them that's it. And you know this, this bathroom is not open right now and just clean it and that's it. And even when they said it like I don't know if they were just trying to psych me out, and you know, just say, hey, just get in the pool. It's like someone who's scared to swim. You just jump in and that's it. That wasn't working for me. I had to get into that.

Speaker 1: 22:15

But once I was no longer being trained and this was just on me, I knew they were going to check the men's room. And, sure enough, when I was walking in the lobby, who comes up the stairs from the men's room? One of my supervisors. He said how's everything Good? That's all I ever said. Like he might as well have called me good, because that's all I ever said. And I just learned, like you know, what you already explained.

Speaker 1: 22:46

This was not in the interview, but you did say you're going to still do the job. Let's not talk anymore, let's just do the job. And that is what I did. And you know what, after a while, like what they said, I did it just like that and I had no problem. It's just that it was my first time and I was just uncomfortable. So every time I had to go to the men's room I was just like I would open the door slowly just to see if any disaster was there, because there was the very first day I started and I was just like I can't believe. But I would just not entertain those thoughts too much because I made a commitment I'm going to do this job for as long as they want me here as a sub and that's it. You know, I have my eyes on some other positions and I just want to do a good job. So sometimes we are.

Speaker 1: 23:44

This is part of the shakeup era for me. You know, I would never think that. You know, here I was. I wrote these books, I've done these audio books, I've, you know, got this podcast, I've got, you know, these different things going on. I'm working towards this thing over here and stuff like that. And here I am checking toilets in a men's room, here I am sweeping the sidewalks with pride, wiping mirrors, because this job doesn't care. You know your accomplishments. This job doesn't care who you are to another audience. You know and that's it. You know, and here I am vacuuming in front of jobs that I wouldn't mind having.

Speaker 1: 24:33

But it's a process and sometimes you have to start over, sometimes you have to take steps back and you have to not be prideful. There's people right now sitting at home with master degrees now sitting at home with master's degrees, or you know, they were always like a manager or something you know, of a impressive title that would rather be unemployed and struggle than go get an honest day's work to pay their bills, simply because how is that going to look bills? Simply because how is that going to look. And you just have to get out of your way because you never know what this will lead to. I am right in it right now, as we speak, I have a job to go back to, but that job I have outgrown.

Speaker 1: 25:25

I want more, but it works for me, it gives me the flexibility and that's why I keep that job. But do I want more? Yes, and there is a plan, and we can talk about that in another podcast, like how do you get to the other thing that you want to work on? For example, if you want to open a business, maybe you don't want to get a loan, maybe you just want the money. There are other ways to do it. And guess what? Get an honest day's work and get the money on the side. What have you? And there are other ways to do it. If a loan is not the way you want to go, if you want it faster, if you don't want to owe anyone. There's just many ways to do things, and we can talk about that in another podcast. You leave me feedback. I will definitely do that as well.

Speaker 1: 26:22

So this is the shakeup era. No matter how prepared we think we are in life, even if we are financially, even mentally, the loss of a loved one you're never prepared for that. Life changes, especially when that person was a pillar in your family. Now the glue is not there and it's like okay, now it's you and I and this person. That person and the person who would just keep everyone together, who would just kind of smooth things out, is no longer here. So now, what do we do? And you learn a lot of things. Now, what do we do? And you know you learn a lot of things.

Speaker 1: 27:13

Not everyone is going to be there for you in the way you would hope or think by default they would be there. Not everyone can deal with loss in the same way, and I always wanted to be. I always took cues very quickly and I knew just chronologically. This is something I have to be prepared for and I would watch and see other people how they dealt with loss and even if I didn't know them, just seeing someone and you could just tell life consumed them like life's problems just took them over, you know, like quicksand and they just couldn't hold on anymore. You know, and it's a hard thing to get out of that rut. It's a very hard thing, especially if you don't have support.

Speaker 1: 28:11

If you're used to seeing life from a certain view, you don't just snap out of it. It takes great intention, great discipline, great focus to stay on the path that you desire to be on. This is not something you can compare. Do not compare your circumstances or life to other people. That is a booby trap. There's no pleasure in that. In the long run it's wasted resentment on something that should not have mattered in the first place.

Speaker 1: 28:52

This is the shake-up era. Everything that you desired, everything that you quietly suffered in silence about, is now giving you the opportunity to make it happen. Right now, if you stay completely focused and enthused and in your soft era, you will have success. I really believe so, and you might say well, leslie, didn't you just say you're in it right now? I am 100%. I'm in it right now, 100%, I'm in it right now. And the only thing that I could tell you for sure is that I am so committed to this focus and using this time with such positivity, as much as I can Positivity.

Speaker 1: 29:51

I'm not listening to any sad music, by the way. Speaking of music and you can try this I don't know how this happened, but growing up, like when I was really, really small, I would be in the shower and we were like in a one bedroom, my mom and I and my sister and she would be getting ready for work and I would be in the shower and we would be singing country songs and stuff like that. So I've always grown up with a love for music. As long as it was good, that was it. We were singing it in our house, our apartment, no problem, and I don't know if it was just her just reminding me of that. But I'm telling you all of a sudden I am tuned in to country music. That is what I listen to now.

Speaker 1: 30:44

When I'm working on the computer, when I'm writing, when I just want to relax or feel good, I just simply go to my playlist and just jam out and have a good time. It is such feel-good music. Even the slow songs just put you in a mood. You know when they're telling stories about overcoming things and what to do when they're dead, and just such pride and joy and love. Even talking about heartache, there's always this happy ending at the end of the song and I don't know how else to explain it. It's just so good. So I highly recommend listening to country music. Don't care who it is, just let it play and just let it resonate with you where it does, because I promise you it will.

Speaker 1: 31:44

If you are there. If you are there and in your shake-up era, you will appreciate the country music right now more than ever. The country music right now more than ever. So I hope this encourages someone. I hope, if you feel stuck, if you feel like giving up, if you're starting to have images of just giving up, I hope this helps to stop you. I hope this helps to encourage you that you are needed. I hope this helps to encourage you that you are needed.

Speaker 1: 32:16

This is your moment to shine. Take it. Take full advantage of laughter, of smiling, of feeling good. You know, things have changed for me, you know the past couple of months and I smile. But I look at pictures, I take selfies just to see, and it's the same face. But the eyes tell everything. There's sadness in my eyes. There's no emotion. I'm numb to certain things. If you have any sad news, I can't energetically afford to listen to it or entertain. I can offer just a little bit of pep talk and then I have to disappear because it's just my season to just be lost, lost in this garden of this discovery that I am currently doing right now, and it is exclusive, it is private, it is my sanctuary and I'm taking complete advantage of it and need every second of it in order to thrive.

Speaker 1: 33:39

I need you to cry, I need you to be angry, whatever emotion you're feeling, to let it flow through you and out of you. Understand that in this era it is going to keep happening, but it is going to happen and it's for a purpose if you allow it to. If you tell yourself one time this is karma or this is something that you deserve, forget it. You must correct yourself. You must correct your thoughts right then and there you have the power, the authority to do so, and I need you to use that power. It is no one's else responsibility to tell you life is going to be okay. This is your moment to do it for yourself.

Speaker 1: 34:34

There is nothing to resent. If you have resentment for someone because they're not showing up or being there like you believe you deserve the way you would do for them, no, we cannot afford to have any resentment. If you do, ask for forgiveness, clear it up, move forward. That's how this works. We have to be free of distractions, free of anything that can knock us off our focus, that could take away our joy. These are tests and we must pass them with flying colors. We must, we must. Everything is measured, everything is measured. So if you pass barely, then you're going to feel that, but if you pass with flying colors, energetically, wow, what a difference that will be. This is your shake-up era and we do everything with kindness and with softness and with gratitude in this moment. That is what life needs from you. Life needs you to be full of action, but to also be full of gratitude.

Speaker 1: 35:51

I believe this message is for you. I believe that you will have victory. You already do, because you are here, because you are taking another step, because you believe in yourself, even when you feel like you just have a tiny, tiny mustard seed of faith. That's enough. Sometimes you owe it to yourself. You owe it to yourself to take one more step, to do it anyway, to have fun, to be silly, to be intentional, to not react, to accept loss with grace, to be kind to yourself and to let others and their flaws off the hook, so life can let your flaws off the hook. This is the shake-up era and you are more than enough. You are more than enough, more than prepared, more, more, more than you think. All you have to do, all you have to do, is believe it. Leslie's Lessons.