Singleness Series (6): Embracing the Journey of Singleness

Welcome to The Emmerance's Podcast, where empowerment meets authenticity. Hosted by Emmerance Victoria Odia Ndala, this podcast delves into the depths of self-discovery and empowerment. In this episode, part six of the singleness series, Emmerance reflects on her journey with raw honesty, sharing anecdotes from her 23-year-old self's voice memos.

From navigating the challenges of unauthorized transactions to finding solace in self-reliance, Emmerance shares insights on embracing singleness and individuality. With candid reflections on personal growth and resilience, she reminds listeners that choosing oneself is not selfish—it's essential.

Through anecdotes of overcoming setbacks with grace and determination, Emmerance encourages listeners to embrace their uniqueness and redefine societal norms. Whether single or in a relationship, her message resonates: prioritize self-care, cultivate independence, and pursue your dreams relentlessly.

Join Emmerance on this inspiring journey of self-discovery and empowerment. Subscribe now to The Emmerance's Podcast and embark on a path to embracing your authentic self. Remember, self-first isn't selfish—it's self-love.

Resources for the Standard:

• Download the Asset Foundation Manual (Free): https://www.emmerance.com/free-manuel/
• The Asset Newsletter: Get notified of new logic and standards. https://www.emmerance.com/self-first-letter/

About Emmerance: Emmerance Victoria is a Professional Coach and the founder of Emmerance Coaching Inc. She specializes in the Self-First Standard, a framework for vetting character, bridging identity gaps, and establishing personal authority.

Through her podcast and coaching, she provides the strategic logic for those ready to stop reacting to the material world and start leading from the Source.

Connect with the Source:

• Website: Emmerance.com 
• All socials: @TheEmmerance
• Contact: Victoria@Emmerance.com

Self-First isn't selfish. It's a standard.

Transcript

Embracing Singleness and Self-Discovery

Speaker 2 0:00

There's different paths in life. It's not always, you know, marriage, have a nice car and all those things. There's actually billions of ways to live your life and you can do anything if you set your mind to. You can do anything if you believe, if you have faith, and everything's just going to flow. This is the Emirates podcast, where we empower you to choose yourself, because there's no other human being that's more important in this world than you. This might sound selfish, but it's not. If you believe that choosing yourself is selfish, then I want you to know that self first. Amarant Podcast. I'm your host.

Speaker 1 0:55

Amarant, victoria Odendala, and today we are going to part six of the singleness series. Part six of the singleness series and I am hoping that you guys are enjoying this. It is my 23 year old self practicing my speeches in my voice memo app on my phone and this is raw, like I am not editing anything about that voice memo because I want you to just listen to all the hums and uh and the messing up that I did back then, because, when I look back at it, the reason why I took time to even do a podcast or get on YouTube was because I am way too much self-aware about my bilingualism, because it really fucks me up. All right. So yeah, enjoy it and I will see you at the end of it hey guys, it's me again.

Speaker 2 1:55

Of course this is part six, so it's before the end, because I told myself I'll do seven of these singleness episodes, you know, so I can write down afterwards. So today we're March 2nd, monday 9.49, and it's beautiful. You know, I had a interesting day, guys. My day was ruined the minute I woke up, like I just checked my bank account and I saw unauthorized payments and I was so sad because today's the day. Well, during this week there's going to be a lot of money taken out of my accounts for my student loans, my dad's car and my telephone bills and my telephone bills is always my sister's, so it's a lot, you know. So I pay around eight hundred dollars per month for all three.

Speaker 2 2:56

And when you see that there's six hundred dollars out of your account taken because someone decided to to use your, your card for fun and buy wigs, it's no joke, it's stressful. I started stressing and then you know, that's why it's good to read, it's good to renew your mind with the Bible and everything I started thinking negatively. But as soon as I felt that anger, that sadness, that whatever I was feeling, I was like okay, you need to calm down, it's not a big deal. Call the bank, figure it out, do something. You know, I called the bank. The bank made it more stressful because that person I don't think he actually like wanted to do the job. Maybe it was too early for him, because he sent me to the person, the merchant that had nothing Like I didn't even have any transaction confirmation number, nothing. So how am I supposed to go and tell him? Well, you used my card, you know, the merchant told me to call back my bank and I decided you know, let me go to work and then I will decide what I want to do with this situation.

Speaker 2 4:09

So I went to work and that's when I got another notification that someone was buying wigs with my bank account. That's when I flipped. I called my bank card, um, my bank provider, whatever. I called him and I said listen, you need to block this card live, because there's been unauthorized transaction. And I'm stressed and I'm at work and it was like okay, I got this. He made. He was so professional, I swear I'm pretty sure that his life is like all settled because he was doing his job. He told me exactly what to expect. He asked me all these questions and I was like yes, do your job, man. You are saving my life and making me feel assured that, you know, everything is going to be all right. So that's that. I went to the bank. Afterwards, I got my card, my new card, and now I'm living life.

Speaker 2 5:05

And guess what guys? This person that's buying wigs with my debit card went and bought wigs with my credit card. I don't know if this person was using some technology, but listen, I learned that my wallet has to stay home now, like my credit cards and all these things. They're gonna stay home until I decide if I'm gonna go outside and buy stuff either way. I'm about that.

Speaker 2 5:30

Saving money lives. You know, I'm about that singleness stuff. You know I'm, I'm, I'm hot. I want to save money. I want to save um money for the future, and that's what I'm about. I'm about right now.

Speaker 2 5:45

That's another um, which comes down to this topic of today, which is we already talked about goals, right, we talked about mental health. I think we talked about um knowing who you are, and today is really about moving in and getting comfortable with the singleness status. You know like you're not shaken by any man or woman telling you you ain't gonna find nobody like me or you gonna stay single for the rest of your life. First of all, staying single for the rest of your life is not that bad. Okay, it's not even bad at all, because it's not everyone that's meant to be with someone. You need to realize it and you need to accept it right.

Speaker 2 6:36

Everyone wants to be normal, everyone wants to have someone, everyone wants to be married, everyone wants to have kids. I mean it's beautiful, all those things, but what's on the other side? What if you don't do like everyone else? I mean I know that everyone that's unique in life are making millions and billions and are very, very different from everyone. They have their own roles, they have their own schedule, they have their own routine. And when you're like everyone, you just go out, you drink, you drink, you drink, you drink and you fuck your life up. You end up with someone and you end up with someone that you don't like, or you, you just you just become like everyone. You're normal. You have to think different. You have to be different. Um, so, be different. Anything you do try to be different about it.

Speaker 2 7:23

Like I wake up at 4 am in the morning just because I want to. Even if I work 12 to 8 pm. I still wake up at 4 am because I I know that there's life. You know, I don't have to have four hours before work, I can have more, just if I sleep a little earlier. You know it's gonna help me with my day if I stretch here. Go work out there, take care of my mental health, read a little book, you know, do something about it. Move, move your body. Move you, move in your goals. You know something about it move, move your body, move you, move in your goals.

Speaker 2 7:57

You know something that drives me actually for doing all this is because of the woman that I want to be in life and I want to be the woman that, um, everyone likes, you know, but not everyone. I just got distracted, guys, I got distracted and I hate doing that. Okay, so I'm back. It's not, that's not what I meant. I did not want to be. I do not want to be someone that everyone likes. I want to be someone that inspires others to be different, and I know that there's a lot of people doing that. But I mean, what's your drive? You know you need to find something, something that moves you, something, the reason why you want to do what you want to do you want to be? Um, you know, inspired, like when I look at my family, the one that inspires me the most are my kids. You know, I'm not married, I don't have any kids myself, but I have. You know, my siblings have kids and they inspire me to be better so that I can show them that there's different path in life.

Speaker 2 9:02

It's not always, you know, marriage, have a nice car and all those things. There's actually billions of ways to live your life and you can do anything if you set your mind to. You can do anything if you believe, if you to. You can do anything if you believe, if you have faith, and everything's just going to flow. But nothing that's different is easy. Nothing that's good is easy.

Speaker 2 9:26

Also, like, it's very difficult for some people to compliment others. It's difficult for someone to just do a favor open the door. It's difficult for someone to just do a favor open the door. It's difficult for someone to say hello, good morning. It's difficult for someone to just think about buying something for someone and give it as a gift. It's difficult for someone to borrow, to lend money to someone, or lend something to someone and be like you know what you don't even need to give it back to me. Or you know what you're going to give it back to lend sorry, to lend money to someone, or lend something to someone and be like you know what, you don't even need to give it back to me. Or you know what you're going to give it back to me, but with no interest.

Speaker 2 9:59

It's difficult because people, I don't know, we're all good in our heart, but it's difficult for us to be good with our actions. And it's okay, you know, but you have to train yourself to be good. You have to train yourself to give. You have to train yourself to be someone. That's different, you know, matter of fact, I didn't even know what I was going to talk about today, but that's it. That's. My topic of today is to be different. So I mean, it's not just about being single Like I said all the time I'm calling this singleness episode, but at the same time, I want to let y'all know that even if you have kids, you're married, you're all that, you're still a single person and you can do all this within yourself as a soul person, you know. So, yeah, I hope that this message inspired someone someone but me. I'm about to hit the bed. It's um nine. Okay, I started at 9, 49, now it's 58. Yeah so take care of yourself, sleep well and I'll see y'all.

Speaker 1 11:08

I am speechless. Oh my gosh. I remember the scammer that bought my. They bought some wigs with my debit card and my credit card and since then I do not have any like phone transactions, like phone debit cards on my phone or you know any, any Apple Pays or whatever you call it. I don't have that anymore because I was so sure that it was because I kept like tapping my phone and tapping, tapping, whatever.

Speaker 1 11:44

Guys, I am so in love with who I am right now. I am so in love with my 23 year old self because she is speaking life into myself. And one thing like I am in a relationship for a year and a half and we're going six sorry, we're going two years in July, and you know what. I just remember that I have this individuality, like I am a single person, but I am not single. Yes, my partner and I, we don't complete each other, but we complement each other. But it's good to say that you complement someone, but you also have to remember that you are an individual person. And what I can add to that is when you are an individual person, like when you are yourself, you stick with you. You know, of course, when you're in a relationship. You will, you know, have some habits that comes from your partner and have some stuff that you never knew that you needed, but now you do. But just remember that you are your own person. I still go to the movies by myself sometimes and I still go out and eat and try and walk and do all of these things by myself. I love that and, oh my goodness, I am just so, so proud of myself.

Speaker 1 13:08

I almost cried, I was really speechless when that voice memo ended and I'm just like, oh wow, where did that go? Where did that part go? I just, I just don't know. But anyways, by the way, why am I sounding like a, you know, us citizen? I am fully Canadian. I don't know if you guys noticed that, but let me know in the comments, or something I just want to know, like, did you notice that? My accent was pretty much like you know, y'all know, or whatever.

Speaker 1 13:42

I can't even do it myself, but anyways, that was my 23 year old self talking about her day, talking about what you need to do when you're single. And for sure, do not forget that you are, you're into you, you have someone and that's you to take care of. You are an individual and you need to have your habits, you need to have your things together, and especially money. One thing that I said there that I was doing was save, but I was actually on my way to pay off my student loans and I did that. All right, okay, so if you did like it, don't forget to subscribe and like and follow, obviously, and don't forget that self first isn't selfish. Bye.