#205: Kisses from Hashem - Small Gifts in a Loud World

In Judaism, we sometimes call God ‘Hashem,’ which means ‘The Name.’ I love this word — it feels close and loving. In today’s episode, I’m sharing something a little softer and more reflective. Lately I’ve been feeling deeply aligned and blessed in this season of life — not because everything is perfect (it never is), but because I’m becoming more aware of Hashem’s presence in the day-to-day moments of motherhood, home life, and growth.

This episode is about contentment, trust, alignment, and learning to receive the life we already have — with gratitude and humility. I talk about noticing blessings, softening into faith, and how grounding routines and rhythms help me stay centered when things feel chaotic.

If you’re also craving peace, meaning, or spiritual rootedness in the middle of a full life with little ones — this one’s for you. 💛

Thanks for being here.

www.daraboxer.com

Transcript

A Reflective Turn From Planned Topic

Dara Boxer 0:00

Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Raw on the Cooked, a weekly podcast that provides simple routines around the home plus raw and honest book reviews. My name is Dara. I'm a Midwestern stay-at-home mom to four young kids, and I thrive on simplicity. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to another episode. Today is going to be a little bit more of a reflective episode. I had been planning to record something completely different. I was supposed to be talking about Casey Means' Good Energy book that I had read last year and just all about mitochondria and health and everything related to that. And I promise that that episode is eventually coming out, but today I just didn't have it in me. And also I just didn't finish my notes on it and whatever.

Noticing “Kisses From Hashem”

Dara Boxer 0:47

So instead, I felt a little bit more pulled towards sharing what's been steadying me lately, what's been grounding me, just like small little anchors in every day that just feel like small gifts from God, just gender reminders that I'm not alone and that there is guidance in my life and that there is order and kindness behind all the chaos that we all feel every single day, right? Like we're not alone with that. And this year, specifically, more than ever, well, I shouldn't say more than ever, but it's it's I feel like there are a lot of periods of quiet from God, and maybe that's because my day-to-day is so busy that I'm not really paying attention. But for the first time in what feels like a very long time, I feel like that closeness is sort of back, and that's sort of what I wanted to talk about today. I I shouldn't say back, like God is I mean, God is everywhere. We like right, but the idea of paying attention and really feeling God feels a little different. So that I I that's just what today's topic is going to be like. So every winter, our Jewish community holds this really beautiful program specifically designed for mothers and daughters. It's called Kesher, which in Hebrew means like connection, relationship, uh link. Uh it could mean a lot of different things. And we gather Sunday mornings for breakfast of bagels, and of course, you know, cream cheese and locks because we're Jews, and hot cocoa for the girls, coffee for the moms. And each week there's a different theme about how to live more conscientiously and with more heart, with more love, and really just you know, having an awareness that you are a child of God and there's a certain way to be and behave and and what have you. And that could that could feel a little heavy for little girls. This program is designed for kindergarten through fifth graders, plus you know, mom or a grandma. Um, and it's just uh it's just an awesome program. I really, really appreciate it. And this past Sunday had kicked off the 2026 year, and the theme was a kiss from Hashem. And I wanted to talk about that. And I mean, I'm gonna, you know, talk about other things, but really the meaning of that. Um, Hashem is another word for God if you're not familiar with the Hebrew term. Um, and it a kiss from Hashem are just these tiny moments that feel really special or

Birds As Gentle Reassurance

Dara Boxer 3:18

you know, too tender or too beautiful to feel random. There are little signs where you feel like God is saying to you, I see you, I love you, you're not forgotten. And it really landed for me. And some of the um, some of the exercises we had were like, you know, writing down little moments that we as like, you know, little seven-year-olds and moms, 37-year-olds, feel little kisses from Hashem. And they had read some of uh the examples out loud, and a lot of people had really fun ones, like finding a good parking spot, or um my daughter, for example, said she felt really grumpy and then was surprised by a really good breakfast and then felt better, like little things like that, like little tiny moments, just paying attention. And I I've always had this sense that God speaks to us really subtly, like it's not it's not obvious when he is speaking to us, and you know, um obviously it's usually more intense than just like finding a good parking spot or like pulling up to you know an empty gas pump and not having to wait in line or uh, you know, like no trap. I mean, like it's more intense than that. But for for me, um usually in like moments of doubt or just like when I need it the most, I'll always see a unique bird. Like I can't, I don't know. So for example, just like just casually driving through the neighborhood, there's a hawk that's like right there and so close that you can make out what it is. And hawks are not something that you you see every day, certainly not up close. And in the last couple of weeks, my family is going through, you know, some like choppy waters, there's some stuff going on behind the scenes. I truly, with my whole heart, have turned it over to God. Like, know whatever's gonna make of the situation will be and will be okay because we are trusting God. Like, there's nothing we can do about this situation anyway, so we're just we're gonna go through it. And sometimes when I think about it or, you know, wonder if we're on the right path or if we should do something differently. I will see a hawk, like very close, and like so much so you can make out the pattern on his feathers. And it's not every day you see that, and I just feel like that's a kiss from Hashem. Like, I don't know, I can't I that's just it, and it's always been like that for me and birds, especially seeing specific birds that you don't see in that region in other places. Like, for example, it's not very common to see cardinals in Florida where I grew up, and it's not super common to see morning doves here in St. Louis, where I currently live. And a lot of times I feel like when I really could just like use like a teeny bit of reassurance that like A, everything is gonna be okay, even though like logically you know it will be okay, or that like right, you are making the right decision, or maybe you should do something else. I will spot something. And lately I have had a pair of morning doves showing up on my kitchen windowsill in the morning. We have a bird feeder hanging, and uh, this bird food is not designed for morning doves. So I I mean I know you're thinking, hmm, if there's bird seed, there are birds, right? But it's not designed for those types of birds, you know, it's like a specific region. I don't know. So to me, I'm just you know flabbergasted to see these like beautiful, cooing morning doves just sitting there when I'm getting my cup of coffee. It just feels very like calm and present, and I just feel like yeah, things are gonna be okay. Again, can't explain it, but it just really studies me. And I should go back to morning doves, and maybe this is like really silly and really out there, but I I'm I know that I'm not alone with these thoughts of like seeing specific birds or animals or or what have you, and

Morning Doves And Grief

Dara Boxer 6:59

like feeling a connection towards something that you can't quite explain. Um, the morning that my grandmother died, it was just an absolute whirlwind. Um, we we got the call. Um, I woke up at 6 a.m. and it was the first thing I had checked. You know, uh, I usually don't pick up my phone that early in the morning, but I I knew that things weren't looking so good. So just, you know, kind of seeing anyway. I had received a voice out from my mom that it was time. And we had we had hopped on a flight within less than 12 hours. My whole family and my cousin who lives here, we share that grandmother that had passed. And it was just, it was just so surreal. And not that it was a surprise, like we all knew this was coming, but still when it happened, it just I felt like I was just going through the motions, like, you know, very calm, very methodical, did what I needed to get, booked the rental car, booked the flights, like packed, you know, five people, uh, turned down the house for a vacation, or vacation, but you know, like a trip uh with like absolutely no notice, like, you know, did all the thing. Anyway, sorry, long story to say that I'm just sitting there in my kitchen, like at some point, um, you know, feeding the kids lunch, and all of a sudden these like beautiful pair of morning doves just like start cooing very loudly and get my attention. I like look out my window and like there they are. And it just felt very calming and very surreal. And that same pair has been showing up almost every single morning ever since. And I don't know, maybe maybe I'm reading too much into it, but it feels very calming. Okay, so that's enough, that's enough about birds.

Honoring Circadian Rhythm

Dara Boxer 8:43

Um, other things that are really anchoring me in this particular season is just honoring my circadian rhythm, which feels like a form of faith as well. And I'm just trying to follow my body's natural rhythm. And so I've been making a conscious effort to wind down blue light and screens. Um, 8.30 is sort of my like window. I set um a screen time limit on my computer. So at 8 30 p.m. on the dot, my laptop shuts out. I am locked out of everything, and my phone as well goes into do not disturb mode. My laptop goes back at my desk wherever you know I was using it, and my phone remains in the kitchen where like it lives when I'm home. Not every single night, but most nights. Um, because of course you can like override these settings. But when the tech goes off, like the energy in my mind shifts and it feels like I'm just like done, like I can shut off my nervous system. And after that, it's like books only. And there's something really, really grounding about ending the day with that, and just like knowing that I have a bedtime, you know, I'm I feel like I'm I'm I'm very heavily um invested in my children getting to bed at a certain hour, right? They have a long school day ahead of them, or you know, even if we don't have school, I still want them to get the good, adequate rest that their body requires, and I should treat myself in the same manner, right? Like I should also have a bedtime, and maybe it's not as early as the children. I mean a lot of nights it is, but for the most part, like I don't want to stay up on my laptop just like scrolling or reading or researching or like doing things with blue light in my face past 8 30 because I feel like it's a really steep decline, and next thing you know, it's like 10:30, and I'm still doing stuff on my computer. It's just addicting, and like that blue light is like designed to really just like change the wiring in our brains, and especially with winter time, it's getting dark so early, and I just want to really honor and respect that. Like, we're in a season of winter, we are our bodies need more rest, and just you know, I mean it's a whole other topic. I feel like everyone has, you know, beaten this to a dead horse. How in the last hundred years or so, like it is everything that is a part of our modern world today has really messed with our systems and our cycles and just everything, and so

Rest, Naps, And Screen Boundaries

Dara Boxer 11:06

just kind of honoring that in the best way that we can while living in 2026. So, anyway, it's a simple rhythm, it's a softer evening, an earlier night, and it makes my days feel calmer, less jagged, and less chaotic. And I've also, if I need a nap, and I mean, I this isn't anything new, I've been um pregnant, breastfeeding with a small baby nonstop for the last seven plus years. And so when my body feels like it needs to rest and I have the availability, I will I will rest and I will just be okay with that. Um, and I'm still napping, not every day, um, maybe not even every other day, but there are definitely times where my body is exhausted, and when the baby goes down for a nap, I will go into bed with a book and not bring my laptop or my phone with me and just read until I fall asleep. And even if it's a 20-minute nap, it is so recharging. It feels great to like just like honor that because our bodies are just not meant to go, go, go. Okay.

Clearing Space And Letting Go

Dara Boxer 12:14

And then another big thing that's really been studying me this season is clearing space in my home. Just the physical space. I love organizing. They my family calls me the organizer. Um, it, you know, it's nothing extreme, nothing performative. It's just slowly moving things along to a better place, moving things that no longer serve us, uh, bags to goodwill, a stop at once upon a child, uh, passing things along to friends, um, donating the cloth diapers that my baby grew out of a long time ago, dropping clothing off that Once Upon a Child doesn't want into those big metal bins. Um, and each time something leaves the house, I just feel a little bit lighter. I found a family that has a new baby boy, and Atticus is our last boy, and so every time he grows out of something, or you know, where we no longer need this size, or this is too small for him. Uh, if it's in good condition, it goes into a little bag, and when that bag gets filled up, I drive it across the street to our friend's house for her little baby boy, and it feels really good to know where the donations are going. Um, and same with Sophie. Um, we, you know, she's growing super fast and quickly, and it's great. And again, like it's just time to get some uh stuff out. Like she's grown out of a lot of the baby things, and so just boxing up those toys that no longer serve her, it just feels calmer. Um, also her her closet can typically lead to like the dumping ground, like anything that doesn't fit my older daughter, she'll just kind of like toss aside like this is for Sophie, and it could be anything from like dresses to to shoes to books to stuffed animals to whatever. Um, and a lot of times I'll just kind of like toss it in the closet and like deal with it later. And you know, later has come, that day has come, and so now um I'm just like you know, going around different drawers and cabinets and closets and what have you. Um, I love our house so much. It has a lot of really awesome built-in storage, arguably too much storage space. I feel like they did a really good job with the closets. Um there, I mean, it's just like closets galore in this house, which I love. Um, but it's a lot of it means it's a lot of different closets to keep track of and organize and manage and whatever. Um, I feel like we've done a pretty good job. Um, but you know, there's always room for improvement. So yeah, just slowly, you know, setting a timer, 20 minutes here, 10 minutes there. Um, if the baby's taking an extra long nap, maybe I can dedicate like an entire hour and just shifting things around. I think for me the part that gets overwhelming is

Antiques Over Fast Furniture

Dara Boxer 15:01

when I do do the whole like closet cabinet suite, and I have like a whole pile of stuff that now needs to get out, I'll kind of just like throw it in the laundry room to you know be dealt with later. And again, like later takes maybe weeks to get around to, so then every time I use our laundry room, I like you know, in the corner of my eye, like know that I have like this massive pile I need to deal with, and so that can be overwhelming. So just really trying to stay on top of it, and it doesn't take very long to you know pop up to goodwill and do a run, so making space for moat matters, and I think a lot of the problem can be like an input-output thing, um, especially right after the holidays, like I don't really have control over who sends what to my children, and sometimes it's just not a good fit and it will need to leave. Um, but in the month of January, sometimes even extending a little bit into February and March, I try to be really, really conscious of not bringing in anything new. Of course, you know, I'm not gonna like stop shopping for consumables and things that we need, like paper towels and laundry detergent and you know, soap and things like that, but these are all consumable goods. I'm talking like clothing, um, unless, you know, we are in desperate need of new pants. Um, actually, my five-year-old, he's recently ripped through the knees, even though Cat and Jack has like the reinforced knee, you know, whatever, he still manages to like get holes at the knee, which is fine. It means he's like, you know, he's playing hard and it's great. But I have recently had to toss at least three pairs of pants in the last three weeks. So, like things like that are unavoidable. But for the most part, like any excess shopping, any new whatever, just for the sake of it, any new toys, um, books that we get, I try to keep them coming and going from the library so they don't, you know, become permanent clutter, or books that we've outgrown and probably don't want to pass down to our younger two children, they those will go in my free little library, like things like that. Um, so we just try to make a really I say we oh as if my husband has any idea, but I try to make a really conscious choice to not bring anything new in. And lastly, piggybacking off of that, speaking of bringing in anything new. So I this all started with my antique desk. One day I stopped in the antique mall just to browse, just to check it out. I passed it several times a month, and I just I've I had never been in. So I popped in and I found this gorgeous roll top antique desk, and it just like in my soul, I was like, I need this desk. And it felt like something my grandpa had when I was a child, and it just called to me. And so I measured it, I went home, I thought about it, I took photos of it, I talked to my husband about it, and I I was like, I couldn't stop thinking about it the next morning. I was like, I need this desk. So I went back and I purchased it, and it was I mean, it's gorgeous, it is so beautiful, and it hit me that while I was browsing this antique mall, like these really cool, unique pieces. I mean, they just seem like everything was just like really well built and done and designed. I mean, not everything, of course, but then I'm like looking around my house at the bookshelf in my boys' room that I bought, gosh, probably like overstock or Wayfair or who even knows where. And it's just so cheap and like already coming apart. And like some pieces that we have from West Elm that just like haven't really stood up or held the test of time. Um, we have a hutch or two from Target in our dining room, and it just looks so cheap, and like you can tell it's cheap and like badly made. I was talking to a friend about this, and like, yeah, I I I don't I don't think I want to purchase anything new. Like everything you buy today has to be put together and it's terrible and these things are just literal trash. Um, so like why why are we buying things from Target, Walmart, Overstock, Wayfair? It's I just feel like especially after 2020, like everything quality-wise, I mean, it it's no secret, has gone down. And so it's making me think like anything that needs to be replaced, the next thing on my list is my boys' bookshelf because that thing is like literally falling apart. The particle board in the back is falling apart. And I think if we need to replace any furniture, I I think I'm going to antique it and do it that way. I'm not buying anything off of Wayfair. I don't want to buy something that comes in a box that has to be put together. First of all, it is so annoying to put things together. I hate it with a passion. I hate dealing with the trash and the packaging that it comes in, especially oh my gosh, if it comes with styrofoam, I just want to curl up. And a ball and die. And it's just a lot of effort. And so why not go somewhere where you can buy something that was pre-owned, pre-loved? The price is probably way better than you were going to spend. It's

Feeling Guided In A Quiet Age

Dara Boxer 20:14

probably better made because it was probably prior to the year 2020 when everything just like fell apart. You know, just the race to the bottom, just like everything that is made lately is just feels like it's like just terrible quality. Anyway, uh that's up beside the part. But you you go, you get something that you know is like pretty decent quality and it's already made. You just pop it in your car. Um, or if it's too large, you just have someone move it for you. I I don't know, guys. I feel like I've been doing this wrong my whole life. And so it kind of just hit me that like if we do need something new or something needs to be replaced, I'm going antiquing. I brought my cousin with me a couple weeks ago, and I ended up thrifting juice glasses for the kids. Just really fun juice glasses with like top pictures of Tom and Jerry, like a little twinkle, twinkle little star, a Muppets juice glass. And I'm just like, this is so much more fun. Like it just feels better. So yeah, that's that's just kind of where my head is going. And after I feel like I've like shifted my mindset, I every time I like walk through Target and you know, you you see all their like decor that's there, and it's pretty and it's beautiful, but it's all trashed. I don't know, like I just can't like get it out of my head anymore. So that is kind of my mission for 2026. That if there is something that I need to buy for the house, a piece of furniture, a replacement, a whatever, the first place I'm going is antiquing. And I will let you guys know how it goes. Um, I'm not saying everything, but I don't know. They had some really cool stuff. And um yeah, so I don't know. That's just kind of where I'm at. And uh this episode didn't really have a theme other than just like, I don't know, like I guess the well, maybe it did. The thread underneath all of it is that I like I feel guided, like not in like a super dramatic, mystical way, but just like gently through like small habits and quiet mornings, the uh little morning doves on my windowsill, like an uncluttered closet, and just like yeah, my like little winged visitors. I love birds, you guys, like with a passion. And I just feel really carried and I'm just trying to like really pay attention. And it's funny because the more I look for kisses from Hashem, like the more I see them and the steadier I feel. And so I hope I hope this episode helped you or you, you know, you heard something that you liked, um, and just like let it anchor you. And I guess just the other thing is that we do live in a time where you know there are no prophets anymore. There are no, you know, God doesn't talk to us in the same way he talked to you know those lucky, lucky people back in the day. Um, but you know, here we are, we live in a quiet age. Um, but I it doesn't mean we're not alone, it doesn't mean that God isn't watching. And so I'm just trying to really hold that in my heart, pay attention, and just feel

Divine Timing And Human Free Will

Dara Boxer 23:21

it. And also one more thing that I wanted to mention about God, about just his messages. Like it's not necessarily, you know, again, finding a good parking space, or you know, getting a really awesome breakfast buffet when you're in a grumpy, hangry kind of mood, or even like the beauty of a hawk flying right by your car at a red light. It's other things. I think I feel like I know this to be true. Like God uses people as vessels for delivering specific messages. For example, we uh just recently read in the Torah portion a couple of weeks back about Joseph's brothers begging him for forgiveness after their father Jacob had died. They were terrified that Joseph would then turn on them now that the father had died because they had sold him into slavery as a teenager and were worried that he would take his revenge. And he gently reminded them in like the most compassionate way. He said that it was God's destiny and it was God's choice that he was brought to Egypt to save the people and everyone from famine, right? Like it was Joseph who saved the day, and he was made number two in Egypt because of it. And he he had meant, I mean, to me that's like saying that all of the his entire suffering and his entire story that his brothers had led led a hand into was all meant to be in part of a divine plan. And so I believe that he was trying to say that we, yes, we have free will, but I do strongly believe that God has a part in our free will, if that makes any sense. Like what we do is all part of a big divine plan. It's not to say we don't have free will, however, God will use us as tools and vehicles to kind of help orchestrate a plan. And there's something about that that's incredibly comforting that maybe if you're going through a tough time or you're suffering or you're in a in a situation that there is a divine plan for it, and the timing that God has is perfect, and to just let go and let God and let him do his thing because fighting it and resistance is only going to cause chaos and confusion. And you know, like we're just you know, we're just here to kind of serve him and be the best we can to emulate him and and do the kind acts and have mercy and compassion and patience for each other. And so, yeah, okay, that was a little bit of a tangent, but I just wanted to leave you

Closing Thoughts And Encouragement

Dara Boxer 26:17

with that. So thank you guys for tuning in for listening, and I hope you guys have a really great weekend.