#211: Stewardship Reset for 2026 - A Year of Enough

This year, I’m treating 2026 like a stewardship reset.

In this episode, I walk through the discretionary spending categories I’m tracking — groceries, household sundries, kids’ gear, memberships, family outings, clothing, and more — and how I’m identifying the “slow bleeds” that quietly add up. I also share why I’m prioritizing second-hand purchases, repairing before replacing, and using what we already have (yes, even the unopened lipsticks).

We simply have enough. And this year, I want to live like it.

Previous Episodes on Budgets: 

• #31: Fluid Budgeting and a Spending Freeze Part I
•  #32: Sinking Funds, Budgeting Part II
• #105: 2024 Budgeting for a Smooth Year
• #188: Raw Monthly Budget | What My Family of Six Actually Spends

www.daraboxer.com

Transcript

Welcome And Why Money Stewardship

Dara Boxer 0:00

Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Raw on the Cooked, a weekly podcast that provides simple routines around the home plus raw and honest book reviews. My name is Dara. I'm a Midwestern stay-at-home mom to four young kids, and I thrive on simplicity. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to another episode. So, this is another episode about money. Not so much budgeting, because I feel like I've had a handful of budgeting episodes in the past. I'm gonna link them in the show notes if you wanted to go and check those out. And those are great episodes for sure. Like budgeting 101, uh spending freezes, all great and beautiful things. But this episode is going to be more geared towards stewardship with our money. And I wanted to enter 2026 and really crack down on excess spending, sort of treating like all of 2026 as spending freeze. And we're gonna I'm gonna we're gonna redefine what that means, right? Because of course, bills need to get paid, groceries need to be purchased, gas needs to be put in the car. But I'm talking about all the excess little things. And I really wanted to be a good steward with our money this year, right? And so that is just cracking down on excess. It doesn't mean we're not gonna go out to dinners or treat people to nice gifts when you know someone's getting married or has a baby or a birthday party. Uh, you know, we're not gonna like not take my mom or my dad out to dinner when they come visit, right? Like nothing like that. I'm just talking like purely excess. And there's an old phrase that has been circling my mind over and over and over again, and it's use it up, wear it out, make do without. Or no, how did how does it go? It's like use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without, right? And that line goes all the way back to World War II when it was like rationing culture, right? Like it was printed on posters in the 40s. It was it was a thing, right, during the Great Depression and wartime years. And it wasn't like trendy minimalism, it was more like it was more like a necessity, right? Like resources were scarce, like people people had to learn how to mend, repurpose, stretch, and preserve what they had. You know, flower sacks then became dresses, like bacon grease was saved, like buttons were removed from worn-out garments and reused. And there's a lot of respect there, right? Like I just feel like it's so easy to look at a pair of Target joggers that I bought my three-year-old, see that like there are holes in it, and just toss it or drop it off at like a clothing recycle donation place, right? Like where they can like repurpose clothing. But the go-to is usually just to throw it in the trash, if I'm completely honest. And um, I don't know, you know, like I I just feel like now things, especially in 2026, the way and the quality that things are made, which we're gonna get into, but we all know like something doesn't feel right, like brand new things that you just purchased, like just don't last more than a year or two, and it's kind of crazy. And I just feel like somewhere along the way, like we've gotten lost. We like now live in a culture of replacement, like furniture feels disposable, clothing hardly lasts a season, especially if you have children, and like decor, it comes in and out of fashion faster than you can even like blink. Like, only we used we moved into this house that we're in now about three years ago, or coming up on three years, and prior to moving in, I splurged on a couple of barrel chairs. I say splurge, but these are from Target. A couple barrel chairs from Target, they were like$700 each, right? So, like not cheap, but not like crazy expensive. Anyway, they're like that white bool material, you know what I mean? Like the it almost looks like sheepskin. I don't I feel like I'm describing this badly, and a matching bench, and I have like a couple, like another couple in the back of our living room. So I have like five, six different with like a matching ottoman, these like white chairs and bench set, and they were like really trendy, and all of a sudden they're like out, like the bowl is still in, but like not in white anymore. It's like now in like now in like deep deep greens and like uh like a whatever anyway. The point is is like now they're out, and it's like, well, I'm not gonna like replace that. I don't know. So anyway, that it's just yeah, decor like rotates faster than we can even like imagine. And you know, even when you spend good money at places like West Elm, you know, which a lot of our furniture is from West Elm, like we still end up with like basically like a step above particle board furniture that like hardly survives a move. And like I just feel like you can't walk into Home Goods for like one picture frame and then you end up walking out with like a whole cart full of things that you like didn't even know you needed, right? And I just feel like you can click one button on your phone on Amazon and have you know, I don't know, like vitamins here at your doorstep, like in four hours. Like it's it's just kind of crazy. And I ask myself this a lot, like at what cost, right? Like, not just financially, but like mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and I'm just so tired of the disposability. Like, I'm tired of the like low hum of constant acquiring. And you know, here's the thing like our family is fine, we are not in a crisis mode. This is not like a panic budget, this is not fear-based living, it's more just like I don't know, but at like the same time, like I just want to like live with a lot more intention. And I feel like different seasons require different disciplines, and this particular season with four kids, tuition payments for a private school and a home that we like genuinely love and care about, it does require a lot of discipline. And so 2026 is sort of what I'm just like I feel this in my bones. Like, this is our stewardship reset, and what that actually looks like for our family um is me going over with a fine-tooth comb our discretionary spending, and that's the word I prefer to use, right? Like discretionary, aside from our bills. Um, I have you know, I had called it like a spending freeze earlier, and I'm talking about just like like a discretionary spending overhaul, or however we want to look at it. Like these are the categories that aren't fixed bills, these are the places where small leaks can then turn into like massive, you know, like bleeding out situations. And so I wanted to list a couple, well, it's way more than a couple, of the categories that I am tracking uh every single day whenever these purchases are made, and I'm analyzing them week over week, month after month, to see where these little tiny bleeds happen. There is a whole idea of if you really want to track and find out where your money is going, you need to find your bleed. Is it you going to grab to go coffee three times a week, um, but you're not really sure, you're not really paying attention because it's like lumped into like a different category, right? And so, like, where's the bleed? And I feel like the only way I can do this is to have the following categories that I'm going to list out for you. Okay, so the first one is obvious groceries. The next one is household sundries, which we're gonna circle back to in a minute. The next is school lunches, and this is something this is this could be a bleed, but this is a small gift I give to myself. I pack my children four lunches each a week, and then I buy two hot pizza lunches for each child on Fridays. So that way I'm only packing four lunches. I don't have to do the school lunches. You know, it's$48 a month for four Fridays for two kids, which isn't crazy, but like let's just put it there for a second. The next category is dining out and coffee. For now, I am lumping them together because dining out coffee is not that big of a problem for us anymore, I should say. Um, gas, parking, oil changes, and car fees. I feel like those are just standard. Those are like that's like it is what it is. Um, the next one is gifts, whether that's for people in our family for birthdays or for other people for weddings, baby showers, um birthday parties, um, flowers if a loved one's loved one passed away, like things like that. And the other category is kids' gear. Um, these are things like, I don't know, a replacement thermos because something broke, or a replacement water bottle because they got lost, or a new lunchbox, or like whatever it is. Um, the next category, this is a new one for me this year, but this is gonna be called mommy's adventures. And every single month I like to plan like one Sunday adventure for the family. And I I'd love to talk about that in a minute. But anyway, they sometimes they can be free or very inexpensive, but sometimes they're not because maybe we're gonna grab a meal out or admission tickets to somewhere or whatever it is. So to me, it's important to have like a small category for this, and this is like this is my legacy, it's just like mommy Sundays. Um, not every Sunday, obviously. It's just life is too crazy and chaotic for that. But anyway, um, another category is home maintenance. And in the past, I feel like we have just been splurging on whatever contractor, like for okay, for example, the current people we have servicing our lawn and our trees. Um, we use them to redo our front and backyard when we moved into this house three years ago. They had carried over from our last house because they were like the tree experts here in St. Louis, and they also happen to have like a lawn design. Okay, so anyway, we end up using them without even like looking for other people. And then they sort of like became the default people to like then service the lawn and like do the leaves and whatever. But you guys, last year, their spring cleanup to do like the leaves and the new mulch, it was like$800, which is wild. That's really that's a lot of money. And we were just like too lazy, we're just like, Well, we've been working with this company for years, like whatever, like sign us up. And so, this is the year I'm like actually gonna shop around. I've already have five different bids from five different companies that I'm waiting for, and you know, let's see if we can do better, right? Um, so just little things like that. Um, babysitting, I feel like that's just gonna remain what it is. We have a lovely babysitter that we love. We've had her for a couple of years. She just comes on Fridays for a couple of hours, it gives me a little bit of a break. Um, so that's gonna stay. I feel like that's pretty reasonable. Um, and then hospitality. So I sort of use this as like a buffer fund um if I have to, if like I'm hosting a lot of dinner parties, or um, if my husband's parents come into town and we like spend like a little bit more on takeout food for everyone, like things like that. Like it's just like nice to have a little bit of a buffer for that. Um, another one is clothing, nails, haircuts, and I wanted to talk about the fact that anytime in this, especially this year in 2026, like if anyone needs anything, which the kids, of course, four growing kids with four different seasons. We experience spring, fall, winter, summer in like the you know, highest degree here in St. Louis. All the kids need like different outfits, at least twice a year, like a warm weather clothing, you know, set with shorts and t-shirts and bathing suits and summer dresses, and for cold weather, like everyone needs like the hats, the ski pants, that like you name it. Like it's it's a lot of stuff. And we have really excellent thrift shops here in St. Louis. Once upon a child is like one of my favorite places ever for kids' clothing. Um, we actually just got back from a trip to uh Arizona to visit my husband's parents, and it were in the dead of February, it's like the dead of winter right now. So obviously, I didn't have like a ton. I did go through like what the kids had for spring and summer clothing, you know, just because we're gonna be in Arizona in February. And so each kid needed like a handful of items, and so instead of going to you know, wherever, um, or like even just like going to Target or picking up a few things, I went to Once Upon a Child and I was able to get and supplement what each child needed for that particular trip for like$30. It was awesome. And this is gonna include myself too, because I am just so tired of how poor quality all my favorite places are going. For example, Maidwell used to be one of my absolute favorite clothing stores, especially for sweaters and just like really great stuff. I mean, I'm still a big fan of their jeans, I'm not gonna knock their jeans, but like for their tops and their sweaters, oh my goodness, like their stuff has just become absolute plastic polyester S H I T. And I'm tired of paying over a hundred dollars for a sweater that pills within one season. So, no thank you. Um, so I'm going, we have so many good thrifting stores and consignment shops here in St. Louis. That's what I'm gonna do. And I feel like that is gonna save me a ton of money right there alone. Haircuts you can't do anything about. I've decided in 2026 I'm not getting my nails done. My cousin and I splurged and treated ourselves uh to an Olive in June account. Olive in June is one of my absolute favorite nail polish companies, especially their quick dry polish. It's like the only thing I'll buy because I just do not have time to wait for my nails to dry. Again, mom of four kids, seven and under. So uh, with that membership includes like free shipping and whatever. And I've just treated myself to a bunch of really pretty colors, and I'm just gonna do my nails here at home because again, manicures and pedicures are getting really expensive. You cannot go to a nail salon and like not spend$50. That's kind of a lot of money. So, okay, another category that we really love and prioritize, um, and this isn't every month, but we do take family trips, especially when the weather is warmer. We like to get do like an overnight here or there or a weekend, somewhere driving distance, somewhere close by, but that still requires a little bit of money and a little bit of planning. So having a small amount set aside for that every month is great. Um, I like to have a tiny little fund for myself. Um, this is like for a book that the library didn't have available that I really wanted, or um, I don't know, just like last year the cat accidentally uh batted one of my AirPods into the garbage disposal unbeknownst to me, and I ran the garbage disposal and was like, good lord, what is that noise? Whoops, there was my my AirPod. So, you know, having like a little bit of money set aside for emergencies like that for myself, and the same goes for my husband, um, just like a little buffer fun for him. He likes to get the kids like random things on Amazon, like like those little flashlights and stickers and whatever. And so I don't know where to lump that. I just I'm gonna put that in his category. And of course, like occasionally he'll buy himself a book or like I don't know, like pens, just like random stuff. So it's just I like to kind of set that aside for him. We have another um little category for um monthly memberships, like to host this podcast. Um, we have my husband and I together have probably like, I don't know, a dozen websites that we host. Um, some things like that. Um, I have a cost, we have a Costco membership. Um, our credit card has like a$95 annual fee. I don't know why, but we've had this credit card for gosh, our entire married life. So I'm not, I don't know. Maybe I can look into switching because like why are we paying$95 for the privilege of using a credit card? I don't know. Um, but luckily we are in a position where we pay off our credit card. We I we never carry a balance. I've never been charged interest, like thank God. So I don't know. Like, is it that bad? No, I I'm probably just gonna stick with it. Um anyway, we have a membership to the science museum, we have a membership to the aquarium, uh, to the botanic gardens, um, just a lot of different places. Um, another category that I can't like it hurts my heart to even think about it, but like I'm not gonna cut my charity and donations, right? Like, I think it's really important to continually to give back. Um, we are in the Jewish community in St. Louis, and there is never not some sort of fundraiser going on. And even if the only the most I can donate is like$18, that is still important to me. Um, I am a big believer in charity and like the repercussions of that and like the positivity that comes with being able to donate um to I don't know, uh a fund, like a thing. So, yes, that is a big one for us. Um, and then lastly, home decor. And this is now under serious review. We we spent a lot of money in the last couple of years like redoing and decorating and doing this, that, and the other. And I feel like our home is in a really good place, and I am completely burnt out on home decor, even though a lot of my house could use like a touch up here or there. It's not like nowhere near perfect. I mean, I'm pretty happy with where we are, but there are still so many different areas and projects and whatever. And I just feel like 2026 is not the year for that. I'm just tired of like shopping for the house. And if something breaks, like the bookshelf in my boys' room is on its last leg, and if and when that breaks in this calendar year, my plan is to head to the thrift store. We have a really awesome selection of thrift stores here in St. Louis, and I just feel like anything that was made after the year like 1985 is just pure particle board trash, and so I don't want anything that is new from Wayfair or anywhere else, like even an expensive one from Pottery Barn. No thank you. So secondhand for us. And so we already went through our fixed bills and um we realized that our home and auto insurance had really crept up. Sorry, circling back to like bills, um, had really crept up. And so we shopped around and we switched. Um, and just like that, we are now saving over twelve hundred dollars per year. And same with the internet, you know, it's one of those annoying utilities that you have to call every couple of years and you know, either shop around or threaten to quit and walk away and ask them to reduce your price. And um, I just feel like that's good stewardship, like, you know, and I'm I'm applying that same lens to just the rest of my categories. Um, but I did want to talk about some of my slow bleeds when it went into household sundries. I feel like last year I would buy like random things for the house or the kitchen and just like kind of like throw it into like household sundries. And that category started getting really big for us. And I'm really paying attention to the fact like, hmm, do we actually need these things or can we do without them? Um so I don't know, just paying attention and finding the bleeds, right? And I feel like you we kind of know, you know, I feel like we know. Um, and so oh also I would throw makeup into sundries because I sundries for me is like dish detergent, laundry detergent, shampoo, toothpaste, uh, trash bags, like anything like the home needs to operate. And I do include, like I said, like personal toiletries in there. I also throw like the kids' diapers in there because like I don't know where else to put them. Um, and a lot of times I would like throw my makeup in there, and that's a slow bleed for me because I have done a lot of like reorganizing and tinkering around in our bathrooms, and I have like a stockpile of lipstick. I feel like I I don't know what's wrong with me, but every time I'm just like, oh, I must be out of lipstick. By the way, black honey by Clinique is like one of my all-time favorites, and so I would just like buy a new black honey almost every time I would like go shopping for like another thing of makeup because I would like be out of like worried that I would run out of lipstick. You guys, I found four unopened lipsticks, and at$25 a pop, like uh yikes. So, again, one of my bleeds could be like I'm not even paying attention to what I have, and so use it up, wear it out, make do without make it do, make I don't know why I can't remember. This is like four things, but anyway, I'm trying to like burn through what we have before buying, and same with candles. I feel like I'm always gifted beautiful, delicious candles. But then if I'm like out in like a really cute little boutique or shop and I'm just like, oh, I need this candle, it's like, well, actually, I don't because I have like seven half-burned ones at home. Like, let's just use those up first and not spend another$25 on another candle that I don't actually need. So, okay, I had already talked about the secondhand shift. Like this year, when something truly needs to be purchased, I'm going to look at secondhand first. So, upcoming at my daughter's school, she there's a dress-up day in March, and she has already told me she wants to be a cowboy andor cowgirl, whatever, uh, and she needs a hat and some boots. And instead of like hopping onto Amazon, I am going to the thrift store. Even she was like, Let's go to Once Upon a Child. I was like, Yeah, girl, like let's do it. Um, I also am almost done with a cross stitch that I'm finishing for my mom's belated birthday present, and I need an 8x10 picture frame to put it in. And again, I'm heading to a thrift store this weekend to search for one before I go to Home Goods because I'm pretty sure I can find what I need at a thrift store. Don't tell her she's gonna be so grossed out. She, my mom is like not a secondhand person, so we're gonna keep that between us. She does not listen to this podcast, so I feel like we're safe. Um, okay, so again, I talked about the children's clothing. And again, I I am also going to do thrift stores in secondhand for my stuff. Um, I'm also a huge fan. I love Poshmark, Macari, ThreadUp. Uh, these are all really good places if you know exactly what you're looking for. So that's kind of what I'm doing. And like, yeah, I just feel like there's something so deeply satisfying about giving an object a second life. Like there's history there, there's weight, sustenance, like it's just, it just feels so much better than living in an age of like fast fashion and fast everything. And again, this isn't like being it's just it's just about like integrity and values. Like, I feel like that's just like what this boils down to, and like using what we already have, like the lipsticks, the candles, like the stockpile of stuff. Like, there are also decor pieces that are just tucked into a closet that I haven't that they haven't seen the daylight in like in like years since our last move. So, like, why not shop what I already have first? And by the way, my last round of decluttering before the holidays, I ended up like consolidating and moving some some stuff around, and I ended up getting a stockpile of like a bajillion baskets, like you know, like the really pretty expensive ones from the container store. I have like an entire closet full of them now. So if I need anything, I can just shop my like decor and overstock closet first. Um, right, like picture frames that I haven't used, like what like you know what I mean? I'm just like I'm declaring this year a use what we have year, like the candles, the lipstick, like finishing the shampoo before I order like three more. Maybe I'm gonna mend a sweater instead of just tossing it into a donation pile, right? Like maybe I'm just going to learn how to fix things. I don't know, like replace things thoughtfully. I don't know, like if something is truly needed, like we can we can purchase it carefully, you know. But this is like me trying to hone in on reflex buying, and like why this matter matters is it's like it just feels like it's like more than just money, right? Like it's like me modeling this for my children. Like, I want them to see us pausing before we purchase, I want them to see that new is not like a given, right? Or like if something breaks, I feel like my older son has gotten into the habit of like he likes to tinker with things and take things apart, and I love that because my husband loves that too. Like, it's just like a great way for him to learn how things work and operate. But the downside of that is a lot of times he he just breaks things, um, not on purpose, but you know, it it's just it is what it is, and it's fine. But his like natural knee-jerk response is like it's okay, you can just buy a new one. And it's like, well, actually, buddy, like we can't. Um, like, sorry. Um, so yeah, like I want to like really model repair before replacement for them. Um, and so I I just yeah, I don't want to be ruled by impulse. And um, I just I just I don't know, also like consumer culture is so gross. Like the sense that like like do you guys feel it too? Like the sense that everything is just like cheaper, faster, and like we're just encouraged to constantly like upgrade, refresh, replace, and like treat yourself, and like maybe the rebellion isn't isn't like buying less, it's more just like I don't know, like we have enough, you know. Um, so that that's just kind of it. 2026 is going to be our year of stewardship. Use it up, wear it out, make do without no, make it do okay.

SPEAKER_00 25:42

Hold on one more time. Wear it out, use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without. Did I get it? I think I got it.

Dara Boxer 25:52

Okay, so that's kind of it, and I feel I feel really good about this decision, and I really hope that um yeah, I can carry this on, and um, I feel good about it. And if you want to join me, please do. So, thank you as always for being here, and I'll catch you back here next week.