#215: You Don’t Have a Time Problem — You Have a Stuff Problem

In this episode, we continue the Rhythmic Home series by exploring the layer that often gets overlooked: what’s actually inside your home. Because even with strong habits and a well-planned weekly flow, your home can still feel overwhelming if the volume of what you own is working against you.

We talk through the difference between daily tasks, weekly rhythms, and ongoing projects—and why keeping a running project list can immediately calm mental clutter. From there, we get into a gentle, sustainable approach to decluttering, and finally, the real root of the issue: consumption. This episode will help you shift from constantly managing your home… to thoughtfully curating what enters and stays in it.

www.daraboxer.com

Transcript

Welcome And Series Context

Dara Boxer 0:00

Hello everyone, and welcome to the Raw on the Cooked, a weekly podcast that provides simple routines around the home plus raw and honest book reviews. My name is Dara. I'm a Midwestern stay-at-home off to four young kids, and I thrive on simplicity. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to another episode. We're continuing in on our series of building a rhythmic home, a home that actually supports you and your life. And so, just to backtrack, in part one, we talked about microhabits, those tiny behaviors that quietly keep your home running. And then in part two, last week's episode, we talked about our daily and weekly flow. We talked a little bit about monthly too, but really how to structure your time in a way that feels supportive instead of really overwhelming. And today we're talking about something entirely different because you can have the best habits and you can have a beautiful weekly rhythm, but your home can still feel overwhelming. And that's because running a home is not just about managing time, it's also about managing the inventory. You are not just managing your schedule, you are managing what comes into your home and what stays. And if the volume of what's coming in is too high, or if things don't have a place to go, everything starts to feel harder. There's more resistance, there's more pushback in simple little microhabits such as resets and daily pickups, right? Because if putting away laundry feels frustrating, it might not be because you're up behind on laundry, it might be because your drawers are too full. Or if unloading the dishwasher feels annoying, it might be because you have too many mugs in the cabinet and you have to keep moving them over like Tetris pieces to make them all fit, right? So if you're constantly dealing with piles, it's often not a time problem. It's not that you don't have time to put them away, it's more of a volume problem because each little tiny thing that needs to get put back, maybe your junk drawer is too full. And so the pair of scissors have been sitting out because jamming them in is just too difficult. Like there's a lot of resistance in little places. Um, I know for me personally, I hate filing things. I just like to put things in baskets, but if I have to like open a lid or like open a drawer to file something away, I'm just gonna put it on the nearest flat surface. And so again, it's just kind of about like figuring out ways to work around resistance, right? But a common problem for things like laundry and dishes are drawers and cabinets and uh closets that are just simply too full. And so this is where everything we've already talked about again, the microhabits, the resets, the daily flow, the daily flow, like all of this, this is where it either works beautifully or where things start to break down. And so today we're going to talk about three things. We're gonna talk about a running project list, which I will explain why that ties into this episode later. Uh, we're gonna talk about our weekly decluttering rhythm, and then finally we're gonna talk about consumption. Because I feel like you can organize and declutter as much as you want, but if you're not tackling the root problem, which is your consumption, you're just going to declutter and organize like forever and ever. Okay, so let's talk about a master running project list. Because now that we have, hopefully, we have our daily habits and our weekly rhythm under control, we need a place for everything that doesn't completely fit into those categories. Because not everything in our home is a daily task, and not everything is a weekly task, right? Like there are three types of things in your home. We've got the daily tasks, the weekly tasks, and then the projects. And the daily tasks are things that have to get done every day, like the dishes, the laundry, the little resets, things like that. And then, you know, the weekly tasks, getting the groceries, wiping down the bathrooms, vacuuming, dealing with paperwork, and then come in projects. And this is where I think people get overwhelmed because we all have them, like whatever they are, from like home projects to like filing those taxes, like just like bigger things that don't happen on our weekly or daily list, right? Like these are the projects that sort of live in the background of your life, like also organizing kid closets, um, going through storage bins, like updating paperwork, uh, creating a photo album that you've been meaning to for three years, right? Like, again, these are not things that you'll have on your everyday list, and they're not even things that you do regularly on a weekly basis, but they still sit there quietly and they linger, right? So instead of trying to hold all of it in your head, um, my best tip and suggestion is to create a running project list. Everything goes in there, like everything. You don't need to schedule it, like it's just there. And we talked either last week or the week before about your one source of truth. So for me personally, my paper planner is where all of these little things live. All of my lists, all of my hopes, all of my dreams, all the things that I hope to accomplish, and I'm constantly updating it, right? Like as months tick by, I maybe will cross off a project, though I'm like, hmm, maybe this isn't the right thing for this year or this time. Um, and or I'll continually add or shift things around, or I'm like finally ready to tackle something that I know will take a couple of weeks, and so I'm gonna move it into my like monthly section, right? But if you're more of a digital person, you know, an Apple note or a sticky note on your computer, like I meant a digital sticky note, not a physical paper one, but right, so you can put these um in an Apple note or in a Google Doc, right? Like have things upgoing, you can add your uh partner, your people, your kids to these things, right? Like just there. And that way your brain kind of relaxes because like nothing's floating, right? I think it's really hard when you keep things in your head and you don't have a physical place, whether it's paper or digital, to kind of put things. And then during during your weekly planning sessions, that 15-minute reset that we talked about from last episode, you're simply going to pull one small obtainable project from that list. That's it. And sometimes I think before we embark on a project, we don't realize how many steps a certain project can take. Okay, so for example, I'm gonna give you a real life one from our example. We applied for financial aid for our kids' private school. Um, we this is something we do every single year. And instead of just moving a financial aid application onto my weekly to-do list, I know that this has several steps to it. I have to call the administrator to ask a couple of updated questions. Um, I'm gonna have to collect my tax documents from the week from the year prior before I can sit down for this application. Right, like there are a few steps involved. And then after I complete the application, which could take anywhere from an hour to you know 90 minutes, I'm gonna have to then scan and upload a lot of documentation. So that's four small-ish to medium steps of one project. And so maybe I'm just gonna chip away at it slowly and like move over a certain task from a project onto my weekly list. Does that make sense? Like that's how kind of how you like start to chip away at these things. And um, but maybe it has nothing to do with paperwork or money, maybe it has to do with like me redoing grout in the bathroom or uh patching up chipped paint every I don't know why our home, we have like lots of little uh areas with like chipped paint, right? Or it could just be organizing a small cabinet, like nothing huge, or rearranging something in the pantry, just something tiny that kind of moves the home forward. And again, I always like to check in and see where I'm feeling energy-wise. Um, and also do I have the downtime to do any of these things, right? Um, because I think sometimes we could get a little ambitious and then our energy and our time availability don't quite match what we've set out for ourselves. Um, and I know that can feel really overwhelming because it's like, well, if not now, when? But I really, really do believe in honoring your energy and where you are at. A lot of this is connected for women with the our cycles. So just keeping that in mind. Okay, so next I wanted to talk um about decluttering and organization. And this kind of like again ties into the project list. Um, so with a project list, I also keep a running declutter list in my paper planner. And this has been one of the most impactful rhythms of my home because I again I just don't believe in like overhauling the entire house in a weekend. I believe that it needs to be built in in a rhythm with gentleness and consistency of like constant editing. One drawer, one shelf, one bin, like just one small closet, right? And a lot of times I do these daily edits. I mean, not every day. So, an example I want to give you are my kids' clothing. So it's part of their chores. Everyone three and up puts away their own laundry. So my three older kids will put away their own clothes every single night um after the laundry is done. I don't fold it, they don't fold it, they just kind of get shoved in drawers. And occasionally things get mixed up. They kind of, you know, they're kids, they're small. My three-year-old is like literally a three-year-old. So, you know, not everything goes in the right drawers. And occasionally, if I have the spare time, I will edit and kind of go through their drawers and see maybe something doesn't quite fit properly, or I notice that this has a hole in it, or um, this, you know, we're coming into spring and summer. I'm gonna kind of like shift out a majority of the pants and put in some more shorts and skirts, right? Like, so I'm constantly editing and just getting in the habit of doing that, or putting away dishes, right? Like, if I notice that a drawer for whatever reason is getting too crammed or too full, I'm gonna kind of just like take the extra 60 seconds to kind of see what can get moved around, what could get tossed, what could get donated. And when you get in the habit of your daily resets and putting things away, if you notice that you're putting the same things back over and over and over again, maybe that's an indication that it doesn't really have a home. It's just keep kind of keeps floating to different flat surfaces. Um, or another example, um, when my kids and I put away the toys at the end of the day, like I am always on the hunt for anything that's broken or needs a repair or just frankly needs to be tossed out. Um, I'll notice if toy baskets for whatever reason are starting to fill up really quickly. Maybe uh there was a birthday party goodie bag that I didn't lay eyes on, and just like all that broken, literal trash is just like all over the place, goes in the bin. You know, like just getting in the habit of like when you put things away, when you tidy, when you make a bed, um just sweeping and making sure that you're doing edits then and there. And then I feel like you don't need to be in a position where you have this like massive overhaul. Um, so again, uh consistency I think matters more than your intensity here. And so, but I do like to kind of like recheck because areas can just get crazy and they have a way, right? Um, the pantry is a good example. Um, and even though I buy the same things over and over, occasionally new things will come in, or I don't know, like you fill in the blank, right? So it's good to have a running list. And so a couple things on my running list are like the pantry, the linen closet, the junk drawer, uh, my kids' closets, the garage, and the laundry room. And so each week during my planning session, I'm just going to choose one of those areas, and again, according to my energy, sometimes I do it, sometimes I don't, maybe I'll skip a week, um, and sometimes I'll end up doing two or three items on a list the following week. But the point is that I'm regularly moving through different areas in my home because I care deeply about how my home feels. And we know when spaces get crazy, like you know you're avoiding a spot. Like if you can think about your home and visualize it, and you walk by a closet or an area, like for me, our laundry room, like we have a utility area, and that's where all of my donations go or things I want to get out of my home, and it just has a way of getting crazy. And so, if you know you have an area like that, my biggest tip is just to do it because we know, right? Like every time we walk by like that closet, like we know that that closet is getting crazy and out of control, and I know you feel that because again, clutter, even just small amounts create noise, even if it's behind a drawer or a door, right? Like, again, it's not a visual thing uh unless you open it, but it's more like it's mentally there. Um, and we know when there's too much stuff in a space that our brain is just constantly processing it, even if we don't realize it consciously. And so, again, this is where your microhabits can come back in. Because if you're doing tiny small resets throughout the day and you're cleaning out one small space every single week, you are staying on top of it. Okay. However, however, this is the meat and potatoes of our episode. This is where I want to talk about consumption. Because the other side of decluttering and organizing, it's a great, it's a great habit to get into. It really, really is. Like who who you know, you you're never gonna like organize your house and it's gonna be perfect and you're never gonna have to do it again. And same with decluttering, like these are things that constantly need to happen. However, decluttering and organizing alone will not fix the problem because you cannot organize your way out of overconsumption. And so this is the time where you really need to have a good hard look at what's actually entering your home on a regular basis. And for most homes, that's going to be groceries, clothing, toys, mail, paperwork, kids' artwork, and I hate to say this, but Amazon boxes, right? So you need to really figure out like everything that's coming into my home, is this aligning with our current season? Like what your home needs is a season, what what your home needs in one season of life is very, very different than another season, right? And so one of the biggest things, I think a big category most people have is food, right? Um, groceries and food products, especially if you have many small kids. And so one of the most practical ways that this can show up is looking at your refrigerator, looking at your freezer, and looking at your pantry before you go grocery shopping. Do a quick little like fridge, pantry, freezer reset. Uh, see what's starting to expire, move that over to a leftover section in your fridge of like these are things that we should eat soon, maybe for lunch or a leftover dinner, right? So you don't have food waste. Um, wipe down your shelves, right? Like you we have a produce, I think almost everyone has a produce drawer where you just throw like apples and pears and oranges, and it just, you know, like little like pieces of the that netting or like an apple um stem or like leaves or like just like debris, like it just gets in the bottom of the drawer. So taking that time to like really wipe the shelves, um, you know, just little spills can happen, and then sort of building your grocery list and your meal plan from what you actually already have, what's already in there. And this does a few things. It reduces your food waste, it's going to reduce your decision fatigue. Because if you have, let's say, like three ingredients, like, oh, you have a couple sprigs of rosemary left, and oh, you have a handful of avocados, like you it's easy to start to build a meal plan from those things. So it's gonna kind of take away that decision fatigue of starting from scratch and figuring out what you're gonna eat again this week. And then it also removes the low-level guilt of just constantly throwing food away. Like to me, that is like the worst feeling ever when we didn't get around to eating something. I'm just like, oh my gosh, like why? And so that's kind of how I do it. And I and I also keep our meals very, very simple. So instead of like overcomplicating things, I just stick to family staples and repeats that we can have over and over again. Um, the things that I pack in my kids' lunches are the same week after week after week because it's good, it's consistent, and they haven't complained. So um right now I know exactly what I need to shop for uh at the store on Mondays to go ahead and pack four lunches throughout the week. And again, as the week is going through, I'm gonna also do like a quick pantry, fridge, and freezer inventory check. And again, not perfect, but you know, like I'm filling uh my my toddler's sippy cup of milk. I'm just gonna do a quick check. Like, are we running low on apples? Are we running low on eggs? Half and half, like what are we running low on? And again, it's not perfection, it's just a rhythm, and I've built it into my schedule. So I will drop down everything we're running low on. I keep a whiteboard on the fridge, and that way when I do my big Monday shop and my Thursday midweek shop, I know exactly what we need to carry us through for the weekend, right? So small things like that. And um another inventory thing is kids' clothing, and I know that a lot of people are just drowning in kids' clothes. So, and I wanted to give you another real life example of this. Um, so one of my aunts in California, she will send me huge boxes of hand-me-downs of my cousin's kids' clothing. There are a couple of clothing sizes ahead of my older two kids. So I know when they these boxes come, they kind of need to be gone through. Like, are these our styled? Are my kids gonna like this? Are they not? And so I have to decide immediately what gets, oh my gosh, I sh my I know my aunt is not listening to this podcast, but I have to decide if we're if whatever is in these boxes that come on a very frequent basis, which I'm so grateful for, but not everything is a winner, and I I end up donating or giving or passing along to another friend. So we have to decide um quickly like what stays and what's gonna go, and then I need to wash it and organize it by size and you know whose room is it going in, and then you know, come the next season when they grow into these clothes, so the season following, I pull everything out and I manage and I see the inventory. Like, what holes do I need to fill to make a complete wardrobe? So, right now it's spring in the Midwest, which means that temperatures can fluctuate from 90 degrees one day to 30 the next. Like, that's not even a joke that has happened this week, actually, the week I'm recording this. Just absolutely bananas. And so we kind of need a mix of everything. We need shorts and pants and sweatshirts and t-shirts and you know, just like a variety of clothing, like the snow boots and also the summer, the summer flip-flops. Um, so right now in these transition seasons where the temperature swings over 60 degrees in 24 hours, we are our areas feel a little crowded and a little chaotic. Like our mud room where we keep everyone, usually keeps two, maybe three pairs of shoes. Now everyone has five pairs of shoes. And like times six people, you can imagine how hectic and crazy that gets. So my point of all of this is to really just like manage the inventory and what you have. Um while we're pulling out clothing for the upcoming spring and summer season, I'm gonna kind of go through and see what every single kid needs. Um, does anyone need uh, you know, a couple of pieces of or or items or hats? Like, how are we doing on you know, certain items? And th it would be very easy just to go shopping for what I think I need. But if I don't like actually check and see and like fill in holes rather than just like buying, and we've all been there before, like I I'm not perfect, and there have been many times where I bought a bunch of stuff I thought we needed before I checked kid clothing inventory and like whoops, we're my my four-year-old already had like three pairs of tennis shoes as it didn't need that fourth pair, you know. Um, or we were lucky enough to get a huge hand-me-down package and it covered everything I need for the next upcoming season. So, really just managing what comes into the home. And one of my favorite tools to sort of tamp down over consumption and inventory is having a one-by shopping day. And so for me, that is Wednesdays I'm going and I'm doing an Amazon order or a Target order or whatever it is we need from wherever, that is the one day I will shop. I will have like a running list of things that I think our home needs. Um, I will throughout the week fill in what I need, and then I can decide come Wednesday if this is actually something I want to move forward with and purchase. And sometimes things just cross themselves out, or it turns out like, well, we don't need this, or oh, you know what, I could use this instead of this. And so not only does it save time and money, but it also saves the headache of a possible return or just managing these items. So, okay, that is what I wanted to say because it's not just about what enters your home, it's also about what stays, it's what you have to then forever maintain. And again, you can have the best system in the world, but if your home is constantly being overfilled, you are always gonna feel like you're behind. A peaceful home isn't just about what you do, it's about what you allow in and what you let go of. And so next week we're going to zoom out even further and talk about seasonal rhythms and the long view because our home is not static, it is always ever evolving, especially if you have small children. Thank you guys for tuning in, and I will see you back here next week for part four of a rhythmic home series with we're gonna talk about our seasonal flow and the long view.