#223: Why I’m Done Chasing Reading Goals

This week, I’m talking about something that’s been quietly changing the way I read: slowing down.

For years, I chased ambitious reading goals and measured my reading life by numbers — how many books I finished, how quickly I moved onto the next one, how much I could “keep up.” But lately, I’ve started asking a different question: what’s the point of rushing through books if none of them actually stay with me?

In this episode, I’m sharing my thoughts on reading slower, highlighting more, abandoning books guilt-free, my complicated relationship with “popcorn thrillers,” and why I’m no longer interested in turning reading into a productivity contest.

Maybe reading isn’t meant to be completed. Maybe it’s meant to be experienced. 📚

www.daraboxer.com

Transcript

Episode Welcome And What Changes

Dara Boxer 0:00

Hello everyone and welcome to the Raw on the Cooked, a weekly podcast that provides simple routines around the home plus raw and honest book reviews. My name is Dara. I'm a Midwestern stay-at-home off to four young kids, and I thrive on simplicity. Hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode.

Why We Rush Through Books

Dara Boxer 0:18

Today I wanted to talk about something that I've been sitting with for a while and something that's sort of slowly, quietly changing the way that I read. And it's this question that keeps coming up, which is why do we rush through books? And I've been thinking about this. I've I've been thinking about this because every single year I set a reading goal, a number, a target, like I don't know, anywhere from 50 to 75 to even a hundred books that I would like to read in a specific calendar year. And for a long time that felt really motivating. It gave me direction. It made me feel like I was like sort of like quote, keeping up with my reading life. But then after nearly two decades of doing this, like I've literally been doing this since I was a teenager. This year it really hit me hard. Like, what exactly am I rushing towards? And more importantly, who cares? Like, who cares how many books I read in a year? My time is limited, your time is limited. And there's just no version of life where we get to read through every book on every list, every recommendation, every bestseller, every hidden gem. You know, like, and that's okay. And so

Reading As Absorption With A Highlighter

Dara Boxer 1:24

I've noticed that in this year particular, I've been reading very differently, especially nonfiction that actually interests me. And I'm no longer skimming it, I'm not racing, I'm not trying to get through it. I've been reading much more slowly. I've been reading with a highlighter in my hand. I've been sitting with these ideas longer than I normally would and letting them actually land instead of just immediately moving on to the next book. And it's sort of changed the experience completely. I keep highlighters in different reading spots. I read a lot in bed, um, so I have a highlighter in my end table. I read a lot in my little office nook, so I keep highlighters there, and it's just really changed my reading experience completely because I've and again just sitting on this for a while, reading isn't just consumption, right? It's absorption. Like you you think about why we want to read at all. And when you strip it back, we read for so many reasons. We read to learn, we read to be entertained, maybe to escape, maybe to relax or to grow, broaden our horizons, our perspectives, and to feel less alone in our thoughts. Because I feel like sometimes when you do come across a really beautiful fiction novel, you don't feel so alone with certain emotions that have like you haven't been able to properly give words and expression to, right? And maybe that's the point.

When Goals Turn Reading Into Math

Dara Boxer 2:46

The the speed at which you consume a book doesn't really matter. Uh, maybe the speed, like getting through X amount of books per year, is starting to work against the entire purpose. So it made me wonder: are reading goals helping or are they actually hurting? And it's a tough question to answer because I strongly believe that there is value in goal setting. Like I really do. I will, you know, defend that to the day that I die. I think that goals help us stay consistent and it encourages us to prioritize instead of wasting time. But I have also been wondering something uncomfortable. Like with these reading goals, are we setting ourselves up for disappointment by turning reading into a numbers game? Because if the goal is just simply how many books can I finish, we might stop asking more important questions. That being like, did this book actually matter to me? Like, can I even remember the plot, the characters, the, you know, the meat and potatoes of this book? And so now I'm just really thinking about a different way to evaluate a reading year. I don't want to just look back at a number at the end of the year and be like, wow, I read like 87 books. I I want to look back at that number and feel something like, yes, I would recommend most of what I read. Uh, yes, I was changed or moved or challenged or all three. Yes, I learned something and it actually stayed with me. And yes, I enjoyed this experience of reading this book, not just checking it off of a list, off of my goal. Especially for fiction, right? Like I want books that feed me, that move me, that make me reflect on my life, my relationships, my patterns, and my assumptions. And for nonfiction in particular, I really want to retain what I read, not just checking it off a list.

Giving Yourself Permission To DNF

Dara Boxer 4:41

And that brings me to my next point: the permission to stop reading. I've touched upon this before in the past, how it's just simply okay to stop reading a book. Even if you're 70% of the way through it, even if you've paid for it, even if everyone else loves it, even if you feel like you should finish it, like you don't owe a book your completion, and you don't owe it your time if it's not giving you anything back. Return to the library, donate it, give it to a friend, sell it at half-price books, close it, and move on. And that's allowed. And this year in particular, I have just allowed myself to return, donate, sell, give away, and just stop reading altogether if I'm just not into it. And that does include books that I've worked my way up to 70%, and then I'm like, I just can't carry on anymore. Like for me particularly, a very strong cue that a book is not serving me at all is if I have a stronger desire to scroll or to do anything other than pick it up, if I have five minutes to pick it up and read. And if I find myself doing literally anything else other than reading, I know this is not a good book for me. And so I'm just moving on, and that's okay because you know what? There are hundreds of thousands of books. I mean, think about how many books get published in one single calendar year. We will never, even if you devoted your entire life to just keeping up with like the current years list, like you'll never get through them. It's like impossible, right? So, like there's always something else, you know, always something else. Um,

Popcorn Thrillers And Honest Reading

Dara Boxer 6:19

so back to my point. My my point is this like, I am going to be a slower reader. Uh, not a more impressive one, not a more productive one, just an honest one. One where maybe I read fewer books, but maybe I remember more of them. Maybe I have to cycle through 10 books before I one that finds my attention and fills my soul, right? Like, I don't want to just rush through these stories just to get to the next one. And I feel like that's how I had been reading in the past by consuming popcorn thrillers. Like, I I'm a little, I'm a little touch and go with popcorn thrillers because I think they do serve a purpose. Like, again, if they entertain you, take you out, escape, relax, like, you know, if you find yourself engaged, but they also can be a very slippery slope to just like complete waste of time where like you're just reading it to read it, you know what I mean? Like it's not really doing anything for you. So I do have like a very like love-hate relationship with popcorn thrillers, but my point is that that's how I used to read, or just like going through, you know, Reese Witherspoons or Oprah's best book clubs, and like they just a lot of them don't land for me, and that's okay.

Reading As Experience Final Questions

Dara Boxer 7:31

So um, maybe the question I'm gonna going to leave you with is what if reading isn't something to be completed and checked off of a list, but maybe something more of an experience? And what if slowing down doesn't mean reading less, but it actually means reading better? And so that's what I've been thinking about a lot lately. So thank you as always for being here today, and I will see you next week.