Anchored
Helping families navigate what it looks like to build disciples at home.
Anchored
Season 3 - Episode 4 - Raising Kids in a Technological Age
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Well, hello and welcome back to the Anchored Family Ministry podcast. We are today 3 dedicated staff members They're helping families to navigate what it looks like to build Disciples at home.
So we're back here in April and I'm joined by Daniel and Paul today. So good afternoon guys How are you guys doing? - Excellent. You forgot to mention Bucky.
He's here hanging out with us. - Well, disappointed he didn't bring the glazed pecans and the Bucky's cola. So maybe next time. - Yeah. - Doing well. It's a pollen time in Georgia.
So if you're familiar with that, you know what that means. - It's like it's its own season. - Yeah. - You know, it's after winter, kind of as spring is starting, but yeah. You should hear a lot of coughing and sneezing. and people rubbing their eyes and our voices.
My mind's a little lower. I just like being at a stoplight and the wind blows and I just see it just, just sneak off the trees like a giant cloud of yellow. But today is,
see, well April 8th is when we're recording. So it's solar eclipse day. And Daniel, I just wanna know how excited you are on a scale of one to 10. I'm gonna stare directly at the sun. So I don't know,
10. Actually, I forgot that it was even today. Well, I just hope that we're still here by the time that the listeners hear this episode two weeks from now. But no, I'd say, I'd say about a seven or eight for me.
I think it's cool. I think especially for us as Christians, we believe that God created heavens in the earth and the earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof. So what are the chances that any human being could create an opportunity where the sun is shining,
that the moon is blocking it, and so we don't have as much sunlight because in like just the everything behind it, it's awesome. But I did not buy the Amazon glasses, so I will not be looking at it.
Well, you can go old school, which, you know, poke a little needle hole through a paper. That's what we did growing up, and it works just as good. You poke a needle hole through a paper and hold it up, and you can still. I might do that. And that's honestly the perfect segue into this.
this episode, right, because we're talking about technology. We're talking about how to raise children in a technological age and what we should watch out for. And so we have two options. We can buy the Amazon goggles,
which is fine. Like nothing wrong with that. Or we can go old school and just do it on your own. - Poke a hole. - That's right. - Get a shoe box, do a thing. - Yes. So as we get started here on this episode,
and how to raise children in a technological age, in a technological age and how to raise children in a technological age. And we're going to talk about how to raise children in a technological age and how to raise children about technology, technology is something that is a part of our lives. We can't avoid it. We can't get around it. It has good purposes. It has bad purposes as well.
We have to take the good with the bad and to realize that God created technology, right? He's sovereign over it. Technology doesn't exist apart from him. But at the same time, as we're thinking about what it means to raise disciples at home,
we have to watch out for things because because parenting in 2024 looks a lot different than it did in even 2022 or 2018, but even more so just 20 years ago,
just think about the differences, right? I think we were saying 2007 was when the iPhone came out. So that was like what, 17 years ago, which is crazy 'cause it's just such a part of our society nowadays.
And I have a few books here. I've talked with Daniel and Paul about these. resources and I have other books in my office, but I've read a few books that have kind of helped me walk through technology and social media and what it looks like in today's day and age.
So Chris Martin, not the Coldplay Singer, wrote a book called Terms of Service, The Real Cost of Social Media. He is a content marketing editor at Moody Publishers,
and so he wrote this book and I'll just read this quick. quick introduction and this is actually from the novelist and author David Foster Wallace. But he tells the story there are these two young fish swimming along and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way who nods at them and says morning boys how's the water and the two young fish swim on for a bit and then eventually one of them looks at the
other and goes what's water And that's such a funny, you know illustration. We think about that, but honestly Technology is such a part of our lives nowadays that we're swimming in it Even when we don't realize that we are,
right? There's the conscious moments when I'm on my phone I'm texting on my laptop, but even the moments that we're not even thinking about it like a sound machine, right? I love sound machines.
I go to sleep with one. It helps me to sleep if I didn't have it it, I'd still probably sleep fine, but I feel good doing it. And that's just the noise that I need that I'm listening to as I go to bed. So just ways that we're not even thinking about it.
So that's what we're going to dive into today. And as we talk about this, I think the interesting thing from our perspectives is we're all different ages. I'm 30. I was born at the end of 1993.
So I'm a millennial. Gen Z began in 1995. 1995. So we're talking mostly about Gen Z But then Daniel is about a decade older than me and then Paul a little bit older about a decade older than Daniel So we have different perspectives.
We were all raised differently as children So guys, what do we think when we talk about technology and raising disciples at home and what we should watch out for? How can we kind of navigate this conversation?
I guess I've gone full spectrum from really not having as much technology. It kind of came along more full blown when I was actually engaged and getting married.
And it was welcome 'cause I could communicate better with my wife. The goal was communication of the early technology. We got to go from pagers to cell phones. Oh, that's great. - You paged your wife? - Yeah,
pagers were cutting edge, right? No, I think if we use those actually in student ministry, it's hilarious. I'll tell you that story later. (laughing) But it was a... a bomb. Yeah. Pagers were a thing that's supposed to help us communicate better.
Cell phones came along and that was, again, very welcome. Like I could call my wife and say, Hey, I'm in the truck. I'm on my way now. Hey, baby, you want to go to Blockbuster tonight? Yeah, let's go rent a video at Blockbuster.
And so that was great. Really just no different, though. Didn't feel that much different until of course smartphones came along. And then you began noticing. distraction.
Like you've got a pretty much a computer in your pocket and a TV and video games all in your pocket. So that became something that could distract and could be dangerous too, right? All of a sudden it starts giving opportunities for sin.
There's a lot of evil out there to be aware of. And then kids come along, right? And so it wasn't an issue. I remember in youth ministry, it was a big deal whether kids could eat. bring their cell phones to middle school,
high school, and it wasn't too long ago that it became a thing that everybody's just expected to have a phone kind of at school or not expected. Teachers just deal with it. Now, they still tell them to put them away,
but it's just such an everyday part of their lives that it just is what it is. In youth trips, we used to have to make big deals whether we would allow cell phones or not. And still it's a discussion to be had and James can talk to that,
but within it, it's just such an everyday part of their lives that it's just such an everyday part of their lives. own kids, we've got a 13 year old now who's dealing with it. And then we have older ones who have dealt with it for a long time. So I can share some neat perspective on that later. - Yeah,
very cool. I was just thinking about a Game Boy. Now you play a game on it, but it was in a cartridge and it was a single game. And how we've leaped onto, yeah,
just what you said, a screen that is a mini computer and kind of a computer. access to probably a million games and how many billions of videos and crazy content and stuff like that.
I was also just thinking about how much dopamine I probably received from playing a Game Boy game. But now I remember a season in my life where when I first got on social media, where if I didn't look at my phone and it showed me some kind of notification,
I was hurt. You know what I mean? I was like, Oh, no one loves me. And now I look at my phone and I hope I don't see any notifications. When there are no notifications, I can just breathe. I'm just,
it's a new dope in me. God. Yeah. I don't want to hear from none of y 'all. No, it's just while the swing, the degree that this is all transpired in the last,
let's just say 20 years or so. It's just insane to me. And I doubt that Steve Jobs in 2007 with the launch of the iPhone, they weren't targeting children. I mean,
it was just about, this is a great device that has video capabilities and email and text and phone calls. And this is awesome. But what has taken place since then?
- Saw a picture of the table full of devices and this 1980s looking dude standing behind it. You know, this was a commercial for something in the 80s. 80s. And it was basically saying, this all fits now in your pocket.
It was like, you know, the boombox, the TV, the video camera, the camera, the alarm clock. And so basically we use our phones from morning,
actually through the night, a lot of us to check our sleep, you know, to make sure we're sleeping well, our alarm clock in the morning, you know, to help us with maybe devotion in the morning, all through the day.
day. It's mind -boggling how much we use our phones. We're such people of entertainment that we have to have Entertainment 24 /7. I can't remember where is either a book or a podcast I was listening to somebody who was saying if he had a video and he was watching himself throughout the day You know coming to a stoplight three seconds in I'm bored may as well check my phone I do it you guys probably do it now Not
that I do it every single time, but it is like anytime there's that moment of relaxation, it's like, oh man, like I probably should be doing something. So that contributes to anxiety. And I have here from Jonathan Height,
H -A -I -D -T. He is a social psychologist. He is a professor at a university in New York. And he wrote a book called "The Anxious Generation," how the great rewiring of childhood is causing an epidemic of mental illness.
Now, this book came out like legitimately three or four weeks ago, not long ago at all, but he's done a ton of research specifically for Gen Z. So those born in 1995 to where the camera,
but when the cutoff date is, is there a cutoff date? Or is it? - I know there's a Gen Alpha, but I'm not quite sure where the dates line up. - So 1995 to... maybe a decade or decade and a half after.
But anyway, he's looking at people and how social media and technology is affecting how they live, affecting who they are. So he has this breakdown.
Now this is from the National Survey on Drug Use and Health. So this is percent of U .S. anxiety prevalence, all right? So since 2010 to 2018.
2018, he breaks down these age ranges, percentage of US anxiety prevalence. For people ages 50 plus, there's a 7 % decrease since 2010.
For those ages 35 to 49, there's an 18 % increase since 2010. So not much change for Gen X or for Boomers. Those ages 26 to 34,
that's me. 62 % increase since 2010. And then ages 18 to 25, a 92 % increase since 2010.
So basically doubles, right? The thought that kids nowadays, millennials, sorry, Gen Z, they're the first generation that's growing up with a smartphone in their pockets,
which they're the only generation that's gone through puberty. puberty and he talks about this with the smartphone in their pockets. And just the, yeah, we've talked about social media, right?
Those companies don't have our best intentions in mind. They're doing it for clicks. They're doing it for entertainment. They're doing it for engagement. They want you on that thing all of the time.
And so we need, yeah, so we need to be aware of it as Christians so that we're not mastered by it. it. We can use it. We can use it for great purposes. I'm just, you know,
I'll say it now because it should be said, like I'm deeply grateful for technology because the gospel is moving in other parts of the world that we never could have imagined before then to this extent because we can access music.
Like I can turn on my phone as I do each morning, usually right when I wake up, go right to Spotify, listen to a worship song. As soon as I wake up, just to get my mind flowing with the things of God,
we can listen to messages not only from our church, but from other churches. What a great resource it is that we can be built up in the Word of God from other faithful pastors and men who are preaching the Word.
But at the same time, we know the bad effects of that. And so as we think about what it means for youth and children to Not be domineered by it.
There's a simple Kind of phrase or sentence that I have in mind and that I would encourage parents and that's expose your children to the darkness and Protect them from it.
So I was in public school Elementary school middle school high school went to a private Christian college So I've kind of dabbled in both of these areas but the thought of exposing your children to the darkness.
Now, when we think about any parent who's listening to this, their child is likely either at public school, private school, or home school. Those are the three options. And I think that each of those have pros,
each of those have cons. But exposing your children to the darkness, I think it is crucial that kids know that the darkness is out there because we would rather them figure that out while they're living under our roof than when they go off to college and then they figure out,
oh my goodness, like there's all this stuff out there. And so I think that that's probably something that public school does better as far as exposing your children to the darkness. So when I graduated public high school in Gwinnett County in 2012,
I knew that there was darkness out there. And I was involved in my youth group, involved in my church, which, and I knew that darkness existed, and I knew that not everyone believed as I believed,
and that was crucial because that's just not the way the world works, that everyone agrees with what we do, what we believe in. So it's crucial to expose your children to the darkness.
I think that public school probably does that better than homeschool or private school, but at the same time, and and protect them from it, which I think that public school does not do as well as private school and as homeschool,
'cause you don't have that watching over children who are going through this. So protect your child from it. It's crucial that children know it's out there, but at the same time,
just unlimited amounts of screen time for kids unsupervised is probably the worst thing that we as parents can do. do, right? So my wife and I we have we have a boy who's in elementary school and of course he he doesn't have a phone,
but he has a Nintendo switch. He has screen time. We don't always watch with him But when we see something that he's watching we kind of look into it make sure that's good and make sure that it's appropriate And he's in public school,
you know, so he's interacting every single day with kids who do believe as he does, but also who do not. And so he's going through that process of learning how the world works.
So he is exposed to the darkness, but at the same time, we don't want to just put him out there and then say, "All right, just go figure it out. We should be involved in that." And that's encouragement for any parent.
Watch what your child is doing on their phone. And watch what they're doing on their laptop, what's sh *t. movies they're watching, Netflix, Disney Plus, because it's crucial that we don't just push them out there into the real world and say,
"Okay, just go figure it out for yourself." We should be the ones who are watching over them and helping them through that. Expose your child to the darkness, but once again, that's not a complete phrase on its own because it should be equally paired with and protect them from it.
When I say expose your child to the darkness, I'm not saying like have them go out and watch an all -rated movie like that would not be ideal at all But let them to know that there is darkness out there that there are people who don't believe as we believe don't think as we think Yeah,
at the same time equip them. I think that's crucial with social media technology equipping them So that they are able to attack or to defend the attacks of the enemy Yeah,
I agree and I appreciate you sharing that because I did want to say that expose, that's a big word and it definitely means to teach to them what kind of darkness there is out there. Age appropriately using,
you know, the language you as a parent are led by the Lord to help your kids understand what they can handle about how dangerous some of these things are. 'Cause I want you to think of handing your kid if you're giving them any kind of device that allows them to be on the world -wide level.
web, you're handing them a loaded gun, okay? - Yep. - You really are, and okay, you said that's scary. It is scary. Before you would ever hand your kid a gun,
you would first have it unloaded, right? So you would already have limitations and protections built in to this experience, but you would spend a lot of time teaching and talking to your kid about the dangers of-- this weapon and what it's possible.
In fact, you wouldn't even do it until later when the age was appropriate, right? We're gonna get to that eventually and talk some about that. But yeah, you would take a ton of time teaching your kid safety measures, teaching them the dangers,
talking about examples. I've been through that training myself for weapons. I went through it obviously in boot camp and the Marines. And it was a big, big deal that you had a massive amount of respect for the power of this tool.
It's the same with technology. That's scary in and of itself. So we might do it good for a season, but then we get tired as parents. The reality is a lot of times we get tired and we're just allowing technology to entertain our kids or to keep them busy for a while and we can get slack and the danger is still out there.
If you're not really taking the time it takes to explain. expose your kids to what these dangers are and keep conversations going where they can come to you and say, I don't know what this is,
or, you know, this person just said this and I don't know how to respond, whatever it might be, you know, because sometimes it's interaction socially with their friends, even through texting or other more hidden messaging apps that get dangerous or it's it's websites they come across or just just any number of very,
very dangerous things that we're not exposing them to. They don't know how to handle it. And so what's the thing we usually do when we get challenged on something that we're uncomfortable with,
we hide it. And we tell mom and dad everything's fine. No, everything's good. So you really have to have some early clear conversations. And like James was just saying,
say the phrase one more time. time. Expose your child's children to the darkness and protect them from it. Protect it, so conversation about how you're there to help protect them. Thank you for clarifying that,
'cause again, by no means am I saying that a nine -year -old Shumacha in R, like much less a PG -13 movie, and you don't just throw them fully in there and submerse them to it, but at the same time,
you don't wanna act like it's not there. Like that's one of the worst things you could do is, "Oh no, it's, don't worry about that." you know, 'cause again, you'd rather that happen when they're in your house, when they're young, than when they get off to college.
When I think about Jesus' words in Matthew seven, some of the more convicting and Jesus' words are so powerful, but he says in Matthew seven, enter by the narrow gate,
where the gate is wide and the way is easy, that leads to destruction, and there are many who find it, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,
and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and the gate is narrow, and the way is difficult that leads to life, and there are few who find it. So this plays, I think, directly into social media, because he's talking
about eternal life, right? But he's talking about the way to life, the way of living, because the gate is wide, and the way is easy that leads to destruction,
and there are many who find it. So these two axioms axioms, number one, doing something because everybody else is doing it, Jesus combats that. He's saying, "No, the way is difficult." And there are few who find it that leads to each other life.
And then number two, the fact that it's easy. So number one, everybody's doing it. Number two, it's easy. How easy would it be for us to just go along with the crowd to do everything as the culture is doing it?
How easy for me is, as a person, it would be so easy just to tell our son, "Hey, today, just watch four movies. That way, I don't have to supervise you as well.
I can do what I need to do, yard work, whatever, go to the gym, whatever." You just do that, and that'll be easier for me, and it's what you want to do.
So we're both getting something, but that's just not the way that Christ would have it as it calls us. us to live a life that is intentionally difficult. And Hyde gets to that in his book. He talks about some considerations and one of them was,
you know, limiting like no social media till high school and he gets into the argument that every parent would have is, you know, my child says like, well, everybody else has it. And of course, like if everybody else,
you know, like if a few people stopped doing it, then not everybody else would have it. And then so on and so forth. But yeah. yeah, I think that we can consider that from Matthew seven and consideration. Just thinking about Jesus calls us to live a difficult life that looks different than what the culture and what the masses are doing.
I think that plays directly into social media and technology. - Yeah, no, one thing real quick with our kids, we found that when they say, yeah, everybody else is doing it. Our response is typically,
well, we don't really care about everybody else. else. You're our kid. But one thing we have found that's pretty hilarious is later on our kid will start talking about this kid who doesn't have a phone or this kid.
And we'll be like, wait, you just said everybody had this. Well, actually, no, they don't. Actually a lot of people, their parents were stricter. It's just a trickery.
Yeah. Don't fall for it. It's not true. I was just thinking about, yeah, your statement about supposed exposing children of the darkness and then giving them training against it more or less.
And it's, I don't think it's anything that's new, right? I was thinking of, Hey, teaching your kids to be a little wary of strangers. I saw this cute clip. This girl, they were training her.
Hey, but what if they have candy? Should you get in there? Oh, she's like, yeah, but she's like three years old. And they're like, no, no, you shouldn't. She's like, no, no, okay, no. no, I shouldn't.
Anyways, it's just nothing new. And what's is frightening is that there were predators then and they were on the lookout for some, some child or someone whom they could grab up.
But the predators now have gotten a new avenue and it's through social media or online or somewhere another. So yeah, very true. We need to expose them to the dangers and then train them up and make sure.
Hey, protect them against it and guard against it. And let's talk about some practicalities, some limits, guarding that we've done in our own life.
I like how James talked about that being like a narrow way and we're supposed to be set apart as believers and live lives a bit differently in the kingdom. And so I know just from being friends with them that James has taken a step recently.
where he's taken a hiatus from social media. So share how that is impacting you, your mental state. Have you noticed a difference? Because I know the times that I have taken a break,
I didn't miss it. Ignorance is bliss, man. It is. It really is. It's, you know, it's, you know, my wife is, I mean, she keeps me in the loop of something major or to happen,
but yeah, this is just the decision that I made at the end of last year or so. no Facebook, no Instagram, like I'm not in the know for things that are happening, which most of the time it's like minor things anyway,
right? Like if a friend of mine knock on wood or to tragically pass away, or if somebody were to like get married, like a close friend of mine, like chances are I would find out about that through the grapevine anyway,
'cause I still text, text friends all the time. And I'm in the know, but yeah, but I don't need to know every single detail about every single. single person's life. And I think that's crucial for us all to understand is just that thought of fear of missing out,
right? Yeah. We don't want to miss out because at some point somebody's doing something and I can't remember who had said it, but it was somebody that I've read said something to the extent of we're always nowhere.
You know, if we're on our phone, we're not really present where we are, but then we're active where we're not kind of of. So with that being said, I've taken 2024, you know,
I'll be back on in 2025. And, you know, part of that may have had to do with the fact that it's an election year, like I wasn't necessarily, but now I figured that it was a good time to just not feel the need,
yeah, that I need to know everything about everything that's going on and something even further than that that I've been doing this year, at least one day a week, if not, a few days a week.
But if I'm at home, I'm with the family, like I can just turn my phone off completely, you know, because we always have that mindset of, well, what if an emergency happens? Well,
if I'm with my wife and with, you know, our, our child, then we should be good. And even with that, that I think that's a little bit paranoia. I don't want to have my phone off and then something tragic would have happened and again,
knock on wood, but we just, that's our mindset is that we're always gonna be missing out on something if our you know But yeah, just turn it off for hour hour and a half at a time just start there I probably do it a day or two per week and it helps out and I have here from this book three Practical considerations,
but before I share that I'll just yeah, you all talk about in your own life What it looks like well now I was just thinking you shouldn't turn your phone off today Because of the solar eclipse. That's true. Well, if I shine it at the Sun Then I think that it might just get blown up and then I couldn't use my phone anymore On goggles glasses on it.
I think there's a double release of cicadas or Sam has something happen. It is there we go Yeah, yeah a little dangerous. Oh, no, I was thinking what a novel idea you said I Can't keep up with my friends,
but I can text them and I remember here a recent podcast where this woman and her family, they went on vacation for the summer and she decided to get off social media for the whole summer and her husband's got off and hasn't got back on.
But she was thinking to herself, oh, but I want to keep up with my friends. And then she just had the realization, oh, can I just reach out and call them and say, why don't I just text them? Why don't I just text them?
Hey, how's your week been going? But we're so conditioned now. It's like, no, I'm. to go spying on them on social media. And if I, you know, I happen to like their photo or whatever. And it's like, isn't it so much better to get,
you know, I got a couple of friends. I'll give them phone calls, you know, which is way out of style, but I'm just glad they pick up. And then we just talked for a bit. Man, how's it going? How was that trip? Oh, cool. What's going on? That's a different lunch.
- One thing I've noticed is like, hard copy books are not going out of style. - No. - They're really not. In fact, there was a trend for a good while for folks to do everything digital and that works great.
And that's cool. If you can do that, I just like physical books myself and bookstores are still thriving online bookstores are selling books like crazy. Amazon sells books nonstop, right? And so that hasn't changed the fact we still like hard copy books.
And I'm saying that because I'm thinking how we've lost so of the rational stuff of just picking up the phone and talking to somebody. Even with this generation, I know there's anxiety attached to that,
that you can't pick up the phone and call somebody that freaks them out and they don't know how to do interviews with people. And so we got a lot of work as parents or just in general leaders for the next generation to teach them how to engage,
how to look someone in the eye, how to talk, how to pick up the phone. And nowadays, if you get a piece of mail, right, that has your name handwritten, you're like, wow, someone sent me a letter. That's real too. That still exists.
You can write letters and they mean a lot. And so picking up the phone to call somebody, call your mom, your dad, say, hey, how are you doing? - Yeah, I would talk to a Gen Z couple and they were talking about how a lot of their communication,
the majority of it is through Snapchat. And I was like, that's insane. Just delete that app. I was shocked by that. - I read a book by Sherry Turkle.
She's a professor at MIT, really good book. Reclaiming conversation, the power of talk in a digital age. And she said a bunch of just weird,
crazy stuff. Not weird like in a bad way like, wow, are you serious? But she would talk about students who were about to graduate high school applying to Ivy League schools who feel anxious about having a phone call.
call with somebody that they don't know. So they would get responses back phone call from these great Ivy League schools and they wouldn't want to talk in person because they can't you can say oh I didn't mean that but you can't like physically put those words back in your mouth and they would have a good voicemail or have a parent answer or something and then they would send an email back hey sorry I missed your
call that way you can add and delete words And that's something simple, right? Like face -to -face conversation. And when I think theologically about that, John one,
the word became flesh and dwelt among us. God, in his infinite wisdom, saw it fit not just to reach down from afar,
not just to zoom or to FaceTime in, so to speak, but no, God became flesh. Gone. God took on human flesh, that embodiment that I think you don't get over phone call or Zoom or something.
And if the circumstance is prohibited, you know, it's somebody in another country, another state, whatever. But yeah, if it's just somebody like, we're here now sitting in this room, then yeah, just the power of having that conversation,
looking someone in the eye, somebody that you may not have anything in common with, right, just having that conversation. and three practical things that I would have. This is straight from Chris Martin's book,
Terms of Service. And there's six here, but I'm just gonna read three. So ways that we can kind of combat technology, not only for us, but for our kids, study history,
right? So learn from people in the past. And he actually references a podcast that I would encourage everybody to listen to. It's called Presidential by The Washington Post. [BLANK _AUDIO] just do one episode,
just a biography on each different president, 45, 50 minutes long. It's really neat learning about guys who were living hundreds of years ago who were kind of going through, I mean,
not exactly the same things again, they didn't have technology, but going through a lot of the same things that we're facing now. So study history and learn from that. To admire creation, especially man,
this time of the year, like I'll just be driving down the road and see the. greenery and I'm like This is incredible. Like this is unbelievable. But yeah admiring creation getting outside Once again,
the heavens declare the glory of God and the skies above to claim his handiwork Just enjoying the fact that God created us that he created trees and rivers and oceans and Seeing that will help out Paul in and all right Paul exactly up up go out and get in the pollen And then number three and this really has a theological emphasis,
but value silence Like when I think about Jesus who went out into the wilderness the prayer all night and He was silent before his father You know,
we live in such a day and age where we always have to be listening to something And I'm guilty of that and that's not to say the things that I'm listening to were like terribly harmful You know,
it could be a worship song, you know, sports podcasts or a game or a TV show, the content of it may not even be malicious. It's just that it's there in our ears.
I had a series on anxiety, you know, Psalm 4610, be still and know that I am God. And so I started out and for about 30 seconds, I just, I said, Hey guys, before we get started,
we're just going to do something and I just sat there for like 30 or 40 seconds. And it was awesome. But they were like totally freaked out by it.
I mean, 'cause they just like sitting and doing nothing just seemed so foreign. 'Cause we're just always so out and about. So you have to take a deep breath, be still and know that I'm God, just resting in his goodness.
I think that's a good place to kind of start. What do you guys think as far as ways that we can incorporate? you know, this into our daily rhythm of life for us and for our children? - At that age,
you will hear them say, I'm bored. - I'm bored, yeah. - And that's a, I say, great, good. Go figure out something to do. It's funny, I don't hear that from my older kids anymore. They're 19,
2021. They have figured out kind of how to fill their time. And if they're bored, they know that's good. I get to go take a nap or I get to just relax for a minute. (upbeat music) They don't say I'm bored anymore. And you don't hear that from adults.
When was the last time you said I'm bored or felt bored? You know, we just don't. We're always, you know, and we're probably filling ourselves with too many things and not just enjoying being in the moment.
But yeah, when a kid says I'm bored, let's go figure out, you know, go figure out something. And the devices that they want to use to not be bored, we've only had those devices for like two or three years.
percent of human history, right? Like for thousands and thousands of years, people have existed apart from like technology. Yeah. We have to rest in that. To help your kids find,
I mean, whether it's, hey, I don't know, a leaf collection, go explore outside, you know, start a hobby, learn how to make some jewelry, do some art, get on a typewriter. I don't know,
just have some fun. You know, there's so much to go be engaged in. versus just watching other people. Now, I do love for technology. My kids have utilized it to learn a lot,
to watch videos on YouTube of how to do like different things like fingernails for one daughter, another brush art, and they love, I mean, they follow these folks just like we do as adults.
So there's some great learning tools for kids to see how somebody else is doing something and then hopefully, you know, turn that phone off and then go try to do it yourself. That's cool. Yeah. And sorry,
I've talked a ton this episode, but I'll just, to that point. Yeah. I think we should absolutely highlight ways that technology can be used for good. I mean, right now media, awesome.
Yeah. Like I use Quizlet. I have all this, the scriptures that I'm memorizing I have on Quizlet. So say that I'm watching a ballgame, you know, I don't have to only do that. I can also do Quizlet.
So at least like I'm learning during that time, I'm soaking in the scriptures and say, yeah, we should underline and highlight the ways that we can use it for good and kind of focus in on that. Yeah. You did the silence thing because one of the,
maybe at the very least one of the most memorable sermons was from Adam Robinson. And this is in 2002. And for the first minute, 40 seconds of the sermon,
he just sent silence until I everybody became completely silent. And that was his remark was like, you see how difficult it's become to be silent. And in the middle of the sermon,
he was just talking about, he said, I can't prove this on the GDP or whatever, but I think entertainment is our number one export because in foreign countries that want to do harm to us,
they still know who the pop stars are of our country. And this is again, this is 2002 time I like Brittany. and Britney Spears and NSYNC and stuff like that. And he even talked about how we have to fill every waking moment with sound.
And that's from burnt CDs. Yeah, day and myself, but I was thinking of technology because I heard a mom talk about this, that her, her daughter was experiencing a difficult situation. And her first move was to go to the phone and she didn't know what to do for,
so for the moment she let her get on the phone and just do whatever on it. And it was a little scary because I've seen it with other substances, alcohol or drugs,
where their uses for medication, because I'm something about this moment I'm afraid of and I don't want to experience. So it's scary to me to think that the phone, when it's not used healthily,
could be as some form of medication to where I need to break away from reality. So boy, is just, you know, the absence of having a good time, but then there's other times where they get silent and all these thoughts creep in and they don't know how to deal with them.
And so they just push them down through use of a technology or something else. And it's like, ooh, now we got to begin a conversation and yeah, brave the silence and talk these things out and get them out in the open and stuff like that.
That's just a thought I had on the side. silence of it all. I think the normal stuff of childhood, we need to keep it and value those things like sports, for example, having your kids involved with sports means they're out doing something and they're not on their phone.
You know, they don't even care about their phone. They're having fun playing this game with their friends and learning and practicing. Going outside again, going to a lake, going fishing, taking your kids places. I know when it's wintertime,
you know, gotta be inside a little bit. more, but it's just it's scary how quickly entertainment or relaxing can just be everybody sitting on the couch looking at their phone. We've done that on vacation.
We're like, we're visiting my folks and we can't wait to see him. And after they are two, I'm looking around and all of us are on our phone, including my mom and dad and they're in their eighties,
you know, they're playing their games and we're all, this is what vacation is. But it was quickly quickly, you know, thankfully we do put them down and someone says, let's go work on a puzzle. Let's go play a game. Let's go to the beach. So, you know,
yeah, it's, it's part of life. I get it. But you just want to be aware at home that you don't just kill family time by being on the phone too much individually for us at home.
One big thing was we always, when our kids did get a phone, we put limits on it. So, we did put a couple of, we did put a couple of, we did put a couple of, we did put a couple of, we did put a couple of, we did put a couple of, we did put a couple of, we did put a couple Eyes was the app we used. We liked Covenant Eyes.
There are other apps out there that are good. That's a good one. But Covenant Eyes, you can pay a subscription and it's on your whole, all your phones. It works with Safari. It takes random screenshots all day long of any and anything that that is,
you know, questionable will come to you and you can set up accountability partners and all that sort of stuff where it's good for adults, good for kids, good for everybody. But we also told Archie. kids,
you know, you plug your phones up downstairs at night. If you're living under our household, it doesn't matter how old you are, you plug your phones up at night downstairs if we're paying for it. And that also means we're going to look at your phones whenever we feel like it,
which could be every night, could be once a week, we're not going to tell you. Yeah. And that's worked well. No, fortunately, I guess I should say we have found our kids abusing their phone in hidden hidden little app usually different little messaging apps That they feel like are kind of hidden where they we caught we caught some behavior that we're like,
okay I'm glad we caught this and we were able to address it But check that stuff out There are so many hidden messaging apps that just are just super dangerous and limit those if you can our older kids It's funny.
They're again, like I said, they're in college now and they're telling us with the younger one Who's 13 now? don't let them get social media until later. Yep. High school.
Yeah, especially not, they don't need Instagram. They certainly don't need anything like Snapchat or TikTok. Don't allow that until they're out of high school leaving. It's just, there's no good to it. Maybe some funny videos here and there,
but other than that. Yeah, and when you go out to eat, put your phones on the table. Oh man. And whoever touches it first gotta pay. (laughing) When we go out to eat, yeah, my wife always looks around.
It's like, look at that couple. They haven't even looked, they haven't talked to each other entire meal. They're both on their phones. It is fun to people watch. Yeah, I do. I've noticed, I'm going on vacation recently with my cousins.
So we went to this one dinner and this one kid behind us was just pitching a fit. And so they give him the screen and then he gets done south for a bit, but then he's still still just acting kind of crazy and the parents don't even care They're not even paying attention and then the next morning we went to brunch and there was just the most well -behaved little kid You know parents are interacting with her not the
whole time But and it's just kids eating food has no screen in front of them or whatever and that's not to shame anybody who? uses screens every now and then To get a moment from their kids or you know,
whatever, but it's just seems to so simple. Yeah, you know I mean, especially if they're really young and you give them those screens at dinner time or when you're out of restaurants That's the only thing they'll ever associate with it.
So I don't I guess the last thing I would say is that it's not going away Technology as far as we know could change We'll see what this eclipse. Yeah, if it changes this will be our last podcast anyway Technology is probably not going anywhere.
It's only going to increase and so the the training of your kids, teaching them God's view of the world from biblical truth,
why we have it, we have how we should steward it. Our job helped create the next generation that's going to use technology to blow our mind and to get the gospel out to every corner of the globe.
Wouldn't that be cool? And that's very doable. Yeah. Yeah. Amen. Lord is good. And well, thank you guys for joining us. If you'd like to call us, call or text 629 -888 -3056,
or if you want to send us an email, that'll be anchored @harpscrossing .com. And thank you guys for being here. Stay anchored. Steep or cost productions
