Anchored
Helping families navigate what it looks like to build disciples at home.
Anchored
Season 3 - Episode 5 - Making Time For What Matters Most
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Well, hello, and welcome back to the Anchored Family Ministry podcast. We are three dedicated staff members helping families navigate what it looks like to build disciples at home.
I'm Jennifer, and I'm here with Paul and James, and y 'all, I'm still getting used to this monthly format. I feel like I haven't been here before. so long. - Yeah. - That's why it's so hot in here.
- It is so warm in here. - Like in Sheel. - It is, yeah, it's warm. And this is where Jed doing it monthly. - Yeah. - We still talk all the time. - Oh yeah,
we talk all the time. - It's like we're not hanging out with each other. - Of course, yeah. - When he hit up the group text, I was like, all right, here's a text about call to worship. And then it said, hey, for the podcast this week, I was like,
oh yeah, we had it. - We had it. group, basically. It's a week. Yeah. That's the call to worship on Sundays, a lot of times, among other things. So, yeah, we're heading into summer. It's May 2024.
Yeah. So, May became the new December all of a sudden. It's busier. I think May might be busier than December. I think it is, because at least at Christmas, you stop.
Right. You know what I mean? Like, you have a few days off work. You get to stay home with family. Between Christmas and New Year's is pretty chill. That does not happen in May. You're talking about DBS, but that's the lead up to this.
Oh no, I mean May. Yeah, May is like, just all the commitments of end of the year programs and, you know, just, Anticitals, tournaments and ball game, you know,
from your Upward Soccer team. Yeah. Well, you know, that's what's up. Soccer, Soccer, Banquets. And, and it's great. everything's coming to life. Your yard needs attention too, and so it's great.
I love it. Spring's beautiful, but it's end of the year. Brings a lot of stuff. I mean, now they have graduations for like every grade. My kid's graduating second grade. I'm like, okay,
yeah, yeah, I hate it. But yeah, they make a big deal out of, that's good. Celebrate to your heart's content, but sometimes it's, you just gotta learn to say no, and that's it. in well. - Look at you.
- To today's topic, which is called making time for what matters most. But at the very onset, I'll say we can't make time for stuff,
'cause time is a set property that is ordained by God. And right now we're living in 24 hour days. and 12 months a year.
And so time is a set property. You can't really make time, obviously. So I try to be careful to say that, you know, making time for what matters most. But you can make the most of your time. So that's what we want to talk about on this podcast today,
is making the most of your time and taking care of the things that matter most to you. And so we'll talk a little bit as busy parents as folks who have full -time jobs and love the Lord,
how do we determine how to use our time? That's a big deal to me. At least, I think it is to everybody. So, you know, I would call us high performers or,
you know, as a term people use for folks to just learn how to go to work and learn how to pay bills and you're raising a family. You know, people that are seeking to make the most of their time.
right? Because again, there's unfortunately folks out there seem like they just kind of are going with the flow and life happens to them. And maybe that's some of the victim mentality that versus saying,
hey, how do you make the most of your time? So we'll just jump into it. And so when I think of this, I think of priorities. That's something we talked to our kids a lot about probably, but us as adults,
what processes do you... have in place to help you determine what matters most? Yeah, I think it's crucial to have a right mindset of what's important and what's urgent.
Sometimes those things are the same. Yeah. I mean, you think about a car. If your car is on empty and you're working today and your work is 10 minutes away,
you probably don't need to do it like you could do in the morning. If you don't, it's okay. You could do it mid afternoon, whatever. But if you're going to Atlanta today from Fayetteville, then that's something you need to do.
That's urgent, right? It's important and it's urgent. You'll notice that we don't usually say that we need to make time for the things that we naturally love. Have you ever heard a middle schooler say,
"I just, I gotta make time for Snapchat today." That doesn't exist. They just do it without thinking. Yeah. So what are the things that you love that you naturally tend to do without even thinking about it and examining are those the things that are most helpful,
most beneficial? They may not necessarily be harmful, but just because something's not harmful doesn't mean that it is helpful. So for me, you know, I used to a few years ago go to the gym,
like I worked out in the morning and then I did my quote unquote. quiet time, my time with the Lord in prayer and scripture either middle of the day or later on in the day, sometimes when I got home from the gym and that's a perfectly valid thing but for me now just what works with what season of life I'm in and how far away the gym is,
how far away work is, what my days look like, I wake up at 5 .15 and then spend that time with the Lord until about six and that's just the time for refreshment,
for devotion. It's not always 45 minutes each day. I mean, this morning was, you know, of course yesterday was, was Wednesday. So Wednesdays are, as my old pastor used to say that Wednesdays are the longest day of the year and they happen once a week.
So Wednesday night, it's a little bit long, you know, come home, have to play with the dog 'cause she's been in her crate pretty much all day. So Thursday mornings, you know, this morning it was a, quick Psalms and then some prayer,
not as long as I normally would do, but I need to do that to start my day just to set me up the rest of the day. And as we're talking about what it means to be a parent and to do this,
we want to see in our kids, hopefully what we are modeling ourselves. Like what good does it make if we tell our kids, hey, this is important.
Hey, brushing your teeth is important. or studying for social studies is important. Now, great, we're not in social studies class, but if you take that in light of scripture reading and prayer and things like physical exercise,
like if we say that things are important to our kids, we should be willing to do that as parents as well, just modeling what that looks like. Of course, Jesus was the greatest example of what it means to be holy.
We can read that. words of Jesus and see what it means to follow him, but he also lived it with his life. So just to be examples, I mean,
that's crucial. - Yeah, when you're talking about the priority of getting up in the morning, we've talked about this before. That doesn't mean that priority in the morning started in the morning.
That meant the evening before you probably had to have things laid out. or some kind of set up ready. You had to set an alarm. You had to get up with your alarm,
so you probably went to bed a little earlier. It's not just your priority in the morning. I mean, that's your focus. You know you need that time in the morning, so it does affect how you plan in the evening.
So that shows, I think, what priorities really are. It takes the planning. It sets aside something else to get ready for what's coming. Yeah. That's what I was thinking was, okay, you're getting up at 5 .15.
So you're probably going to bed at a pretty consistent time early enough. Plan on no later than he's younger than we are. No later than 10, 15. Well, there you go. Oh,
wow. You thought it was like nine. No, I was thinking between 10, 30 and 11. Oh, OK, OK. Opposite. I see. Yeah. Yeah. 9 .45 would be like between 9 .45 and 10 .15.
ideal. Really? That's fantastic for me. But I don't say that to say that's for everyone. Like there's people that are nine owls and they're just as productive, if not more so at night than I am during the day. So that's what works for me.
It's not the same for everyone. Like some days I wake up at 515 and I'm like, all right, this is awesome. Let's do it. And then other days is like, I'd rather go back to bed. Like even this morning I slept in a little bit 'cause last night was long.
Mm -hmm. But I think... there is a good precedent to man I don't really want to wake up at 515, but like this is the start of a day Yes, this is the day the Lord has made.
Yeah, and I know that I have things going on in the day that will impede me From prioritizing the things that matter So I need to do it now like if I don't do it now Probably not gonna happen today,
right? And if it doesn't happen today, shame on me Like I need to prioritize what really matters - Yeah, it's funny we're talking about this today. Charlie, my daughter, was making some decisions about dance.
She is a dancer and we spend a lot of time at the studio. She's in a ballet company now. And so priorities for her change during nutcracker season or she just did a show,
the spring show and then recital. So all of those things were happening and she said something about something happening. next fall. And I said, "Charlie, that's football season." (laughs) - Yep. Charlie,
no Saturday weddings. - Sorry, baby. That's when we go to Athens. - Georgia's in Tuscaloosa that weekend, Charlie, we can't do it. I'm sorry. - We get married on the bye week. I'm just saying that's totally acceptable. Yeah.
No, but it's funny. Like that's a priority for me because I grew up and now football never has been more important than a relationship with Christ or... coming to church on Sunday,
like those of course were a much higher priority. But Georgia football is important to us. And so it is funny, like planning out the year, we talk about these things.
So you do make time to plan and schedule things that are a priority for you or your family. That's funny. We live at such a busy pace unnecessarily. And then sometimes we can't help it like we're talking about.
May and how busy things can be. But one thing I know that helps tremendously in this is taking time to pull away and think about time.
I know that sounds weird. If you don't take time to go think about what matters, you're never going to figure out really what matters. This is going to be the next urgent thing, like James is saying. It's so important to discern between what's urgent and what's vitally important for you.
and your family and your walk with the Lord. And so, yeah, I would encourage taking an afternoon off, getting away a morning, a whole day if you can, taking a notebook, your Bible,
your calendar, and looking and saying, you know, because if you're a mom or dad, listen to this grandma, grandpa, uncle, aunt, you're leading other people. You probably have co -workers you're leading,
you're serving maybe in a church somewhere. And so, you need to be fresh. you need to be alert and aware of what God's doing in your life. And so those have been the times that have helped me the most to probably pull away and think for a while about what matters.
And that's when I begin to discover, oh yeah, I've got to figure out how to get in the word every day more. You know, it's not doing that well. And that's, you know, that becomes a huge priority. And then it backs up to,
okay, what time do I need to go to bed? Okay, what things do I need to get done before so I can get better at going to bed? on time? 'Cause a lot of people struggle with that. That desire, that drive that you hear, like James talking about, that took years to develop for him to say,
this is important enough for me that I'm going to shape my schedule as much as I can to where I get what I love. And like, I love that you said that early on, James. We don't have to work hard to do the things we love.
And so how can you make it to where you love the right things? - Yeah, and Deuteronomy 6, love the Lord. your God with all of your heart, soul, mind. The things that we love with our hearts,
we don't really have to think twice about. - Right. - I love baseball. I couldn't imagine not loving baseball. I couldn't do it. But then other things that don't come as easy, like you have to train with your mind.
And that's kind of the choice that we have to make. Love is not always just what your heart may desire. Love is a decision of something you may have to make. do. Like it's a commitment, like that's the cross,
right? That's the life of Christ as love means commitment. And so loving the things that are difficult that you have to make time for. I tend to go back to Matthew seven, one of my favorite passages where Jesus is talking about the straight and the narrow path and,
you know, enter, I think it's Matthew seven, 12 and 13, enter by the narrow gate for the gate is wide. and the way is easy. That leads to destruction. And those who find it are many.
The gate is, what is it? Narrow and the way is difficult. That leads to life and those who find it are few. So those two axioms, you know, the people that are going to destruction, they're doing it 'cause it's easy and they're doing it 'cause everybody else is doing it.
And those two axioms are so easy for us to fit into our lives. To do something because it's easy. To do something because everybody else is doing it. Scripture calls us in both ways to combat that.
Now that doesn't mean that we won't have easy times of our lives. That doesn't mean that we won't have times of our lives that we're doing things that that the masses are doing. But on principle, we don't do things by nature because it is easy.
Because Christ calls us to live a life. We don't do things by nature because everybody else is doing it. Because when Jesus was walking to the cross, he was extremely in the minority,
outnumbered by everyone else, and he was doing it to submit to his Father for our salvation and redemption and for our justification. And so, how do we pattern our lives?
We have to ask that question. How do we make our lives so as to where we're not just making every decision as far as time goes that's easy, and we're not just doing it because it's else is doing it. - Sometimes to me,
the easiest thing to do is my job. And I know that sounds silly saying it, but I know what my job is. I know what task I need to complete. When I was a teacher, I knew what my job was.
I knew what my task were to complete. And so it was easy for me to do my job. Now that probably meant that I spent too much time doing my job, that that took me away from my family. I still struggled.
with that now where I just need to stay a little bit longer so I can get this done. Even though that doesn't seem easy because you're doing your job and sometimes that is hard work, it's easy because I'm doing what the masses are doing.
I should live differently where my work is not my priority, but my family is a much bigger priority than my work. And of course, my relationship with Christ is further up the chain than...
my family. But if I'm putting my work first, I think that's easy. And I struggle with that because I want to do a good job. I think that's a temptation for those in the ministry. Absolutely. I was talking with Elizabeth about that this week,
you know, just like balancing like, Hey, like, am I spending too much time at work? Like when I'm home and I spending too much time focusing at home as far as focusing on the family and there is a fun line.
It is. Yeah. And I don't want to say it's easy. easy because it's not an easy job. Doing your job isn't easy, but choosing your job over other things. That's what the masses are doing,
that's what's easy. - I like this, Proverbs 16, 9 says, "The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." It reminds me that I can plan stuff,
I can say this is important, but without the law, empowering it and making it matter, my plans are pretty futile. And so a lot of times that time alone in the morning,
in the word, for me, I know that's where I feel filled up again to be fully engaged at work, hopefully,
and alert and aware of what God is showing and teaching and wanting me to do at work. and at home and in my hobbies and in the stuff I naturally love and the stuff I'm having to be disciplined to do you know to be fully engaged in all of that.
I think we live in a time of great comfort right now still in our culture extreme comfort and we want more and more comfort and so it may be not natural to say you know rest is important but I think that's important too to be fully engaged in your rest,
but that you plan it kind of, you're like, "Hey, I need an hour just to let my mind," and I do it at this time each day, or I go out and garden, or I go watch the show because it helps me stay fully engaged in the rest of my life,
you know, and not just unplugging. I think there's a real danger in being not engaged in the moment with your family, 'cause you're tired. You're not engaged fully with work.
you're worried about your family or whatever. So it all goes back to the Lord. I want to talk more about that. And when we think about comfort, that's the antithesis of the gospel in so far as spiritual comfort,
like physical comfort, spiritual comfort. We do receive comfort in the gospel. It's just not as the world would proclaim. It's internal. It's not external. It's not with worldly possessions.
or fancy things. It's also a comfort that ultimately is not for this world. It's for the life to come, you know, for when the second resurrection takes place and Christ comes again. So yeah,
we need to watch out for making our lives about comfort because that's not how Jesus lived, not how Paul lived. Peter, St. Augustine said, "You have made us for yourself and our hearts are restless." until they rest in you." So if you're not resting in Christ,
if you're not taking the time during the day to know Him, to know His Word, to know who He is as Father, Son, and Spirit, if you're not doing that, then you're going to bounce all around.
You're going to try to find satisfaction in family, in a job, a career, in a bank account, whatever it could be. But if you're not taking the time during the day to know Him as Father, Son, and Spirit, folks that are tuning in to this are believers seeking to build disciples at home,
right? And so you might though be thinking, okay, these are people that work at church. But yeah, they're gonna read the Bible. That comes easy to them. They understand that stuff is hard for me.
Here's something to think about, all right? Going back to delighting in the Lord and Him being your first prayer. your top priority, because if you're saying, "What do I do?
I get up in the morning, do I just open the Bible?" Yes, there's so many good devotions out there. You've got tools galore on your phone. Yeah, there's all sorts of great things, Bible reading plans. But I would just encourage you not to shy away from getting alone with the Lord because you're afraid you're not good at it.
I think it's something we can all get really, really good. at with the Holy Spirit's Enabling in each believer no matter your age or stage of life to learn more and more about scripture If you're looking for a resource quiz lit.
Oh, yeah, scripture study ESV that's that's the name of the study scripture study ESV and My username should be J. Spencer underscore two four and there's some terms on there if you want to study.
- I think sometimes it's intimidating for people to know where to start. So really just open your Bible. - Jesus wept. - Yeah. - There you go. You got one, keep going. - Check it off, let's go. No, I do think that's intimidating for people though to say,
well, I want to get good at it. How do I get good at it? Well, you got to start, set that priority, go to bed at 9 .45. I'm so impressed by that, 9 .45. And find your day.
A goal that I have kind of in scripture study is if I can memorize a verse from every book of the Bible, which may sound daunting, but honestly,
like, I mean, everybody knows John 3 .16. And you probably learned that when you were like five, you know, so learn a verse from every book. That way you have the whole Bible that now you may not have the doctrines behind it down.
But that's a good kind of rough skeleton slash outline Towards taking in as acts would say the whole counsel of God Seeds family worship has great scripture memory songs.
Just come on another resource there. Yeah You know the Bible reading plans on the Bible app. There's a ton of them. Yeah, the one -year Bible I mean most of those you're probably talking 15 minutes of reading if that I mean They're quicker quick reader,
five, 10 minutes, honestly. And it's a few chapters, but it's not as hard as you think once you build that habit. - Yeah, I always think, oh, I have to read a chapter. Not of the Bible,
but like I want to read a chapter of a book, if I'm reading it, like that's kind of, okay, I can take a break after a chapter or whatever. And it's like 12, 20 pages. In the Bible, one chapter is usually not even a full page.
So it's, you know. again, prioritize that time over, yeah, other reading. - Jeremiah 15, 16 says,
"Your words were found "and I ate them and your words became to me "a joy and the delight of my heart "for I've been called by your name, oh Lord God of hosts." So that's kind of where it lies for each follower of Christ,
you know, is. God's word your joy? Like, do you delight yourself in knowing the word, in reading the word? Is it something that's just kind of there?
Is it something that, oh, that's, it's a good thing to have? Or is it, you know, because for Jeremiah, like the situation that he was in, in exile, like Babylonians about to come in and destroy everything, like that's what he held on to?
God's word was his, was his hope. that's where we kind of need to find ourselves. - We didn't plan just to talk about devotional life only, but when it comes to priorities, that's gotta be up there near the very,
very top for a believer to be engaged in a relationship with Christ. You know, that's how we get to know God and who God is and what he's like and what the gospel is and is by reading the Bible.
And now there's, incredible podcasts out there that you can have people teach you and you can listen. So many sermons out there, there's podcasts on everything you could imagine when it has to do with scripture and you know,
seek those out wisely, but there's ones you can, you know, add that to your mix. You got maybe your sports podcast, you got others podcasts you're interested in, but you start to turn in some more, a little bit more about the Bible.
You'll be surprised how that begins. to create new and desire to know more. But that's not the only. Walk with Christ, I think that's important. Because we're talking about priorities,
right? And when I think of the Great Commission, you know, Matthew 28 talks about going, you know, the instructions Jesus gave us. And,
you know, I look at my family and I think go into all the world and make disciples of all nations baptized. them. I look at my family, I'm like, okay, that's what we are called to do. So how do we do that?
In everyday terms, that's a high priority for me. But how does that play out in everyday? Yeah, it's a good question. Realize the people in your life that you're able to influence.
You can't influence everyone. I would venture to say that we all influence more people than we may think. We may think that we will make a decision, "Okay, that only pertains to me.
That doesn't affect others." But no, it does. It could be obviously like children, family members, friends at church, co -workers, just embodying what it looks like to follow Christ.
I would say as it pertains to the family, create opportunities to have exciting and fun events as well as educational. events like create those memories Like don't just do things that are like only informative educational But also like don't only do things that are fun like there's a good balance to that Yeah,
and include serving in it. Yeah, like being a kid should be fun, right? But it shouldn't be only fun like being a kid should mean like you learn to serve But like I don't think it's only meant to do that I enjoy the good gifts that God has given So find time in family for both of those things.
I think when we're even just like at the grocery store or sitting and waiting on a kid at soccer or something like that, like we should stand out as different. Yeah. And sometimes it may be saying something.
I mean, it could be with words, but sometimes right now, especially with people that you're just around circumstantially, like you should look... different still. Your demeanor,
your patience, your just a smile on your face sometimes, like we should stand out as different. So when we're going about, there should be something shining out of us.
- Salt and lime? - Indeed. - Yeah. They will know you by your fruits. - Fertile things are the most important. - Yeah. - Make that a priority. Figure out how to get better at that. And it takes work. I can just tell you it takes work and it's worth it.
though, because it influences all the other areas. You're playing sports for a different reason and doing dance for a different reason and having fun for a different reason. It's more meaningful. As a parent, you're like,
okay, good. I want to do that, but I also want to exercise. I also want to lose weight. I also want to save money. I also want to-- - All the things. - How do you manage all those things?
- I like to plan out my weeks. sometimes like the whole week. Like Saturday night, plan out the whole week. I like to work out three days a week, maybe four. Sometimes it's only one or two.
- Do you have to pick out when you're gonna do that? - Yep, so Tuesdays, like three o 'clock, 3 .30, like I'm headed to the gym. I might be able to do it Friday, I might Saturday, but I know that Tuesdays, every week, that's pretty much set in stone.
- Meal planning is important too. Like if I know, I don't know. I'm gonna make throughout the week, then on Sunday, my click list is gonna have those items in it.
So I've made a plan. - When do you find time to plan that? - Honestly, a lot of times I do it if I'm in the car, not driving. If I'm riding in the car, I'll be shopping during my grocery list there,
or at least on Pinterest, finding a recipe to make or something. - During staff meeting. - I'm not gonna thank you. that. - During the second service. - That's never happened. But hopefully that's not happening then.
Hopefully it's already to pick up Sunday afternoon. At two o 'clock is typically when my pick up time is because it's done before then. - You know, that's the sort of stuff. If it matters what you eat,
you better plan it or else you're just gonna be grabbing drive -thru. - Junk. - Yeah. - We're working on that at our house. There, that is a priority. Everything. we've talked about and the title of this podcast is about time.
So all of this goes back to your time. You've made time to go to the gym. I've made time to make a meal plan. We don't wait till the last minute or five minutes late to leave because that's going to have a tendency to get some road rage in there.
You know what I mean? Like whatever it is, if you want a different demeanor when you're out in public, then you have time to wait in line. So it really does all go back to what you're making time for.
And priorities drive what we make time for. And those priorities, you get, I believe, by getting along with Lord and getting vision from Him.
Yeah. And that vision can be very specific about, hey, God is calling you to do this thing. And that's a big thing. And to get there is gonna take a long time. And you can either just sweep it under the rug or you can say,
I'm gonna start one day at a time working towards this goal. It may be a goal God gives you on your health. It could be a goal God gives you on some form of ministry or it's something going on with your kids and families.
I think a lot of times we want things fixed so quickly with our kids or our family situations and don't realize it takes some real work. And so, when you're looking at big projects that God gives you,
then it gets tracked back to eventually probably a calendar something, where you say, "This is where I do XYZ." We all carry our little planners with us to keep up with things.
People do that differently, but that's a very practical side of it, but that's a real important side to figure out, that you're tracking this stuff somewhere. You can't just remember. stuff for very long.
- We just got one of these skylight calendars. Have you seen these magical things? - No. - Okay, so it's like an interactive picture frame. - Okay. - And you can put your schedule on it.
You can have your kids different activities in different colors. You can put chore charts on there for your kids. I mean, it's pricey, don't get me wrong, but that is something they have for kids.
So that's something they have for kids. mom and dad are on the same page. You know, who's got to go where? I don't know. I just, it's fascinating. What's it called again? A Starlight Starlight calendar.
Amazon will do the same. I mean, yeah, like Alexa will do the same thing. You set a timer for this, remind me to do this. Like your phone will do it. If you have a dot somewhere, it doesn't have to be hard.
Yeah. I mean, the work you put into it. is going to probably be hard, but there's so many tools out there that you can use to help set time. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff we can automate now.
The more you can automate, probably the better when it's a task that can just be, hey, your phone reminds you of this and you can forget about it. James, you said it earlier. It all flows out of where you are with Christ.
That's where it starts. We've said it like a thousand different ways now, but it flows from that. Your priority, your time, you're going to bed on time, you're waking up on time, getting in God's word, setting time to go to the gym,
setting time to go to your kid's practice, cleaning out your meals, all of it flows from that. - You show up at work and you get paid probably because you're useful to the company.
The more useful you become, the more you're paid. And that's how folks get promoted and become CEOs or whatever because they become very, very useful with the skills. Think of that spiritually.
If I show up and say, God, show me, teach me, God, help me understand this, I perhaps become a little bit more valuable in his hands. Say, all right, good, Paul, you're listening today. I'm gonna give you an opportunity.
You know, and you do that regularly and ongoing and you get beat up. one day and you come back to God and say that was hard I'm tired. God. I don't know if I like this. This is really difficult. He says nice.
All right I'm gonna strengthen you. Let me show you a bit more and Let me wow you with this all of a sudden and guess what that verse you just studied the pastor Just set it up on stage and your friend just texted it to you Wow,
you know and you get bolstered up in your faith and your character builds So showing up being available to the Lord I believe we can become very useful to him and help promote us as he sees fit.
I call that favor. I love favor. I pray for my kids and that God would give them favor, his favor, right? Where they are, they're salt and light. Yeah, good stuff. Thank y 'all so much.
I guess we can wrap it up. Yeah, absolutely. Thank you for joining us. You'd like to call or text us. Our number is six two nine eight eight eight you'd like us to talk about,
send us an email anchored @harpscrossing .com. Thanks for being here. Stay Anchored. steeple -cost productions
