Not Just Letters: The Real Power of Reading | Ep. 176

Reading isn’t just about phonics and fluency—it’s about imagination, identity, and how our kids connect with the world. In this episode, we talk with a seasoned educator about how reading shapes more than academics and why understanding your child’s unique journey as a learner matters more than ever.

Transcript

Cheryl: 0:06

Reading is more than just a school subject. It's a doorway to imagination, understanding identity and connection. But what if reading isn't easy? What if your child struggles and you don't know why? I am Cheryl Lang and today on The Parenting Podcast, I'm joined by my friend and educator, Leslie Whittington. We're diving into the real reasons, reading matters and why it's not always as simple as it seems. This episode isn't just about reading, it's about understanding your child a little better. Listeners, I'm so excited because we have Leslie Whittington back in here in the Yay. Recording studio today.

Christie: 1:06

Yes, my friend, Leslie.

Cheryl: 1:09

Hello. Welcome back. Thank you. Okay, so Leslie, the reason we have you back in here is because you have some experience and knowledge on a subject that I really care about, and I think our listening audience is going to. So tell us what you do and what your background is.

leslie ai: 1:28

Okay, so I was in the classroom as a teacher for, a little more than 20 years, and worked in public and private, school systems, and now I tutor privately. I tutor mainly the kids I have are elementary and middle school, so, the two things that are most important in elementary, and middle school are reading and math. Yep. And that's what I tutor. Okay.

Cheryl (2): 1:54

So my first question to you is, so what, why is reading important

leslie ai: 2:00

Well, reading is our primary way of. Communication. There's a lot of factors, and I would say practically, scientifically speaking, reading is good for our brain. It stimulates it and nurtures our imagination as we are visualizing the stories that we're reading about and all the details with them. It increases our vocabulary, supports our attention span. And all kinds of other executive functions. It helps us become lifelong learners and all the things that we struggle with right now with attention and with, nervous system and all those things that you keep hearing about. If we would just sit down and read for 30 minutes, an hour a day, I think it would help all those things'cause it would calm everything down

Cheryl: 2:56

and this applies to all of us, right? Including our teens and US adults.

leslie ai: 3:02

Yes, everyone. But I would say in addition to all of those scientific and physical ways, reading helps us understand ourselves and it helps us understand other people. So when you're reading a book or a story, it's gonna take you to worlds that you have never and will probably never experience, and it's gonna help you meet people that you never would otherwise. It can help us build empathy towards people that aren't from our time or space or place, or that aren't in our own circumstances. Books help take us into other people's lives and other people's stories. It gives us a glimpse into experiences that we would never want to or shouldn't experience. when I taught middle school specifically, there were a few times that parents would be. asking questions. Oh I don't know if I want my child to read about that character in the book, living in a bad environment. I think we need to know that people live like that, but we don't always have to go and experience it. And so for me, books are a good kind of window into where other people come from and what their conditions are. We can learn from those. The last thing I wanna use is a quote that I. Personally I have always loved. And it's often attributed to CS Lewis, but it's actually not. And it's, we read to know we are not alone. And I just think that's a very important, like our world is being defined by a loneliness epidemic. And books can help us connect and relate to other people in a way that TikTok and. Instagram and all those things can't.

Cheryl: 4:37

I love that. That is a great perspective. Okay. I have like 10,000 questions I wanna ask you. Okay. The first thing is, you've been doing this for over 20 years. Mm-hmm. Have you seen. Changes. What do you see? Do you see patterns? I know there are, there's a lot that's coming out, uh, nationally and locally about reading scores and where it's going. We've ai, all of this sort of thing. Our devices are sitting here on the table in front of us. So what patterns have you seen personally?

Leslie: 5:14

So I think a couple of different directions. We see behavior patterns changing. Mm. Um, attention being able to hold attention and sit and listen. That's, that's a huge. drawback in the classroom when kids have trouble. Yes. Sitting and listening. Um, but I think also the exposure we have to reading and to math. Um, specifically I would say with math, we don't use analog clocks. We don't use yes C anymore. And so they're not using those skills, um, to practice counting and, the patterns of numbers and things like that. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but it is what it is. Everything's digital. Mm-hmm. And so they're not having that hands-on tactile practice.

Cheryl (3): 5:58

You know, it's really interesting with my five children. The fifth one, everything was pretty much digital clocks. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And we had one analog clock that's a clock with hands mm-hmm. In our house. And I had to work with him. Um, but the others can glance at a clock that has hands mm-hmm. And read it, at a glance, Oh, it's. 2 25, they have the feeling. And even he's in his thirties now and he has to go to mm-hmm. He has to use it a little bit. Yes. If you will. Like a foreign language. Mm-hmm. Um, so it, you're right, it is the digital age. Mm-hmm. And it has impacted so much in every area. All the things you mentioned.

Leslie: 6:44

Well, and I think even, and I'll talk a little bit about, um, we've got so many diagnoses of A DHD and different things that deal with executive function skills. Well, and I think even when we talk about executive function, sometimes we think about just attention, certain things that we see. Kids are developing executive function. So we can't expect them to attend to things at five years old that they will be able to later. Yeah. And so we need to know that it's always growing and also that sometimes we have to work on the things.

Cheryl: 7:15

Right. I

Leslie: 7:15

so when we're talking about executive function, I think we look at a lot of the things like the bigger things like planning and analyzing and things like that. And those are actually the far reaching. I follow a group that Seeds of Learning, she's a. Speech pathologist, she's done a lot of research in executive function that she uses in the context of literacy, uh, specifically So when we're talking about executive function, she uses an example of like roots, leaves and flowers. When kids are struggling with reading or math, we have to look kind of holistically at, it may not just be reading or math. It may be some of these. Um, struggles the way they process. Okay. Yeah. It may be processing or, um, attention or Yeah. Any of those things. So it's just kinda looking holistically. That's kind of what I'm saying is it's not just, oh, my child's having trouble reading. It may be other things that you see that they're having trouble with, but it's affecting their reading, if that makes sense.

Cheryl (2): 8:14

It really does! So when I was growing up that's when they just began shifting from a phonics based to sight word reading format. Where would you say now, is the current reading approach,

Leslie: 8:30

so we hear a lot about reading wars, or you hear the term science of reading. In the term of education. And so what's happened is we've gone from explicit phonics of Ah-huh. The sounds of mm-hmm. Yeah. We've gone from that to, um, to what they called at the time. Whole language, uh, where it was just putting books in front of'em, and they would catch on in that. And just, all you need is a print rich environment. And now what we're finding is you can't go one way or the other. You've gotta have a mix of both. What happens is you go too far phonics, and then kids are not interested in reading because there's nothing of interest that they're reading. Mm-hmm. They're reading Dan Can Fall, you know? Mm-hmm. So it's, it's having a mix of both. It's that finding their interests and giving them the skills to do what they need to do with it.

Cheryl (2): 9:21

Okay. I'm just gonna ask you, so do you think like with a lot of things, are there more diagnoses or are the reading problems and issues increasing because we're struggling locally and nationally? America's educational system is struggling. And the stats show it. The tests show it, and the global market is showing it. So, uh, here I am to have you, Leslie, just solve all the problems,

Christie: 9:49

Yes,

Cheryl (2): 9:50

but with parents listening, all the words, dysgraphia, dyslexia, all the terms and the different issues. Um. Do you think it's that we're more specific in our diagnosis, or what would you say to encourage the parents that are listening? Um. What's the answer? What's the problem? Well, I

Leslie: 10:12

But I think it's multiple things. I think, yes, we are more knowledgeable. We have more brain science and brain research now than we ever have, so we know how things are working and so we're able to label them. And that's what I always say. It is hard to get a diagnosis without paying someone to do it. And some parents are like, do I need to have that diagnosis? Mm-hmm. Um, it depends. I would say if you need a diagnosis to get special services, yes you will. You will need a diagnosis. But whatever it is, you need to recognize that your child's struggling. Even if you don't have a name for it. Mm. When kids struggle, they think it's their fault and they internalize that and they're dumb. And that's where I wanna catch kids

Cheryl: 10:52

yes. Because I have a friend and she's Now in her fifties. But she's articulate, she's bright,. We had good conversations about things. And one time she just said, but I've always thought I was dumb. Mm-hmm. Why would you think you're dumb? And she said, well, I struggled in school. Mm-hmm. And she said, as an adult I realized I have dyslexia, but they didn't have a diagnosis. So I just thought I was. Dumb. And everybody else was smarter because I was behind all the time with what they were doing. And so I am thankful that we have tools now. Mm-hmm. We don't want to, you know, over diagnose. Right. But the tools like this, what you said that, you know, people struggle with their self-esteem. And that's what we don't want. Mm-hmm. It's a little bit like other things we don't want to overmedicate, but when the issue is starting to affect their lifestyle mm-hmm. And the persons, how they view themselves. And so how can you help parents that are listening to know, where do we land on all of this? Right.

Leslie: 12:04

I would say that. First of all, nothing's wrong with your child. You've gotta kind of change your mindset of, oh no, what's wrong with my child? I wanna fix this. They don't need to be fixed. They need to be understood.

Cheryl: 12:15

I love that.

Leslie: 12:17

Mm-hmm.. And I think that's our role as parents and as educators to, to understand and help them understand. Mm-hmm. Um, one of the things that, as a teacher and as a tutor that I try to give the onus back to the student. So, um. That they're in control, that they can choose where their attention goes. Yeah. I like that. And I think that's the key, not doing it for how many, I mean, it's easy for us to tie a kids' shoes when we're in a hurry because we want them to hurry, you know? Mm-hmm. And it's the same way with reading. When you read with your child and they don't know something, it's, we read for them. Yeah. And that's our first instinct. And instead of letting them. Pause and letting them work through it and figure it out. Um, so that's, that's one of the things. But I wanna go back to one of the problems. One of the problems is our tests. I mean, we're, we're measuring things in a way. Um, and, and that's the benefit of if you choose to homeschool or go to a private schools that do things differently. Um, but the way we're measuring puts it. Puts kids in a box. Mm. And so if our kids don't fit in that box, then they feel like something's wrong with them. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And so knowing that and being able to walk through that with our kids is, I think, really important too. That Okay. You know, testing, testing itself is a skill and it's hard. And so if they don't perform well on tests. That's okay. We have other ways to show that you're a smart kid, you know? Mm-hmm. Um, but I think it's conversations, being able to talk to your kids about it and not just, ugh. That panic, oh no, something's wrong because my child's falling behind, or my child scored low, or my child's not reading as well as his friend or as well as his brother. Um, I think we have to really honor who that child is. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And, and understand them and help them understand themselves.

Cheryl (2): 14:02

Well, you're talking about a holistic approach. Yes. And, and again, I hear it's balance. It's like everything. We have to take a holistic approach where we look at the. Two foot level and the 20 foot level and the 20 year level. But, that's just the tricky thing. Mm-hmm. You know, are they just immature and they're little slow and they just need a little bit of help? Or do they really have something where it's significant and there needs to be. Intervention is a high level word, but that they need to hire Leslie, you know, to help some more Talk about this because parents are concerned. True. And you just mentioned the three different main ways that we educate in this country and the each have different concerns, and then you've got the gamut of. We'll let the experts take care of it. I don't need to be involved or we're gonna be so involved and fully hands-on. Speak into that um, where can parents, land on this to have a balanced approach with their kids?

Leslie: 15:11

Well, I think parents are the experts on their children. Ah, and., You need to know your child, you need to understand where your child's coming from, and those take conversations and time and um, and things like that. And being able to communicate that to the other people involved in their life, um, whoever's teaching them or whoever else is helping that process. But you are the expert on those kids. There may be other people that are experts in the field of reading or the field of whatever else. Um, I'm choosing reading or just education as a whole. I wouldn't say I'm an expert in reading. I'm an expert in education because, ah, the learning process. Mm-hmm. Um, that's, that's my interest is the learning process and, and what it takes. And so, um. I think we miss that sometimes when we've just got check boxes, right? Mm-hmm. Oh, this isn't happening, this isn't happening, this isn't happening. And, I think we need to take more time sometimes with kids to figure out what their struggles are. I guess

Christie: 16:13

I love what you're saying it sounds like you're talking about being an advocate for your child in every area of their lives. Where we may not be the expert on reading, we may not be the expert on medical advice or soccer or all the parts of our child, but being a voice for them, sitting in our living rooms and at our kitchen tables and getting in their world and understanding their hearts and minds, and then taking them to external voices that you might need to invite into their world and say, Hey, this is what I'm knowing about my child, because I am the person on the front lines. I'd like to invite your expertise into this for them. Mm-hmm.

Cheryl: 16:53

Yeah,

Leslie: 16:53

I think when parents come to me, they either come to me because, someone has told them their child's behind in some way or they recognize they're behind even if they're doing okay in class. Mm-hmm. And I just want to validate both of those so a lot of times we have kids who struggle or who aren't doing as well as they could do, but they're doing okay enough to not get extra help in school. Mm-hmm. And I think having someone come alongside them and working, um, individually, again, we go back to that they're gonna label themselves and, oh, I'm dumb. This is taking me longer to do. Yeah. And they may get it done, but it may be harder for them. And so they internalize that. So getting help with someone one-on-one, I think is. Beneficial in that sense of giving them confidence and a way to think about things a little differently. I

Cheryl: 17:41

like that.

Leslie: 17:41

Um, and then on the other side, if you've got someone, if they've done testing and, and your child is struggling, even if you didn't know, oh, I didn't know that. And usually that's the firstborn, like, we don't know what we don't know, right? We have this child that comes to us and all of a sudden, I don't know if they're supposed to be reading yet or not. And so if that happens that it's okay to. Get extra help Uhhuh. Whether they're getting extra help at school or not, it's okay to bring someone else in. I just, think that it's important to, not stigmatize yeah. Yeah. That, oh, no, you've gotta go to a tutor. Um, it's, oh, we're just getting someone else to help. I, I work with some kids who, I literally just do homework with them because it's a struggle to do homework with your own kids at times. Mm-hmm. Do you

Cheryl: 18:23

see in general, when parents come to you. Is there a balance of it that somebody just needs a little bit of help? Yes. And then they can do it themselves, or it's a long-term thing? What do you see

Leslie: 18:37

Um, both. Mm-hmm. Because I think sometimes they just need a little bit of help. And then, you know, we've got this thing in us when, as you know, going back to learning, um, where we teach ourself things, right? Mm-hmm. We go through and we, we correct ourselves and do that. And so sometimes all they need is some. Explicit teaching, and then they can keep going with their self-teaching. Good. Um, but sometimes just having that extra help, like I've got some that I, they probably don't need to be with me, but it just helps. Mm-hmm. And just to have that kind of covering of, um, long-term, you have a relationship with that person and when they have struggles mm-hmm. We already have a relationship, so we're able to talk about, let's figure it out together. I like it, and it

Christie: 19:20

probably takes a lot of the intimidation out of hitting that wall of, gosh, I might need some extra help on this. Right. Mm-hmm.

Cheryl (2): 19:27

That's great. Yeah. Leslie, we are out of time. Will you come back?'cause I have a whole bunch of more specific questions. We've kind of generally talked about reading and trying to de-stigmatize getting help, there's so much more I wanna ask you. Will you come back? Yes. Oh good. So parents, remember, hang in there, keep loving, keep persevering, because it's worth it. What really stood out to me in this conversation with Leslie wasn't just what she said about reading, but the reminder of what's truly important. Yes, we looked at reading from 50,000 feet. How it shapes the brain, attention, empathy, and connection. But we also came back to ground level, to our living rooms, our dining room tables, to the fact that each of our kids is an individual with unique strengths, struggles, and timing and parenting. It has to meet them there, not just in reading, but in every part of who they are. Leslie will be back next time and we're going to talk through some really practical ways to support your child, what to watch for, when to seek help, and how to walk with them day by day. If this's stirred anything in you, I'll help you reach out. You can always connect with us on our website. Or at contact@theparentingpodcast.com. Thanks for being with us today. See you next time.