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The Parenting Podcast
The Parenting Podcast
Parenting in the Age of Too Many Voices | Ep. 192
It’s not that the parenting advice is wrong—it’s the overload. Today we talk about what gets overlooked when everything demands attention and why the people who know us still shape us in ways information can’t.
Technology has a million apps, a million websites that we can easily get an answer, but we lose. So much actual relationships that
Christie:we're
Chrisitie:gaining wisdom and insight
Speaker:If you're anything like the moms I talk with every week, you're probably carrying more noise than you even realize. Advice, opinions, warnings. All of it piling up while you're just trying to raise your kids with a little peace and confidence. And after a while, all of it can blur together and feel confusing and even a little intimidating. Let's take a moment together and talk about what happens when information starts shouting louder than the people who actually know and love us. I am Cheryl Lang and I'm glad you're here with me on the Parenting Podcast.
Chrisitie:Well, you know, Cheryl, I'm surrounded by 20 somethings in my life. Yes, you are. And, um, my girls specifically, we were, we were chatting about you and the impact you've had in our family's life the other day. And my, my girls just think you are the coolest and that you're by far the most culturally relevant and engaged person in your respected age group that, um, it's just so great that you do stay so aware of what. What this cultural moment holds rather than shaking your fist at kids on your lawn or, you know. Wow. Like a lot of times happens as people get older, they might just have the, um, negative observations Yeah. Of the generations that are coming up
Cheryl New:and it's
Chrisitie:just, we appreciate it so much. Your voice in our life.
Cheryl New:Oh, everybody. I'm just, wow, that's amazing. Well, you know, I love your girls. Yes, yes. So that's easy to do, but you know, it's intentional. Mm-hmm. Christy, I really want to listen and learn and be engaged, and if I stay in my own little mind, in my little world and mm-hmm. Having things the way I want them, which it doesn't work out, but. Like that with your girls? Mm-hmm. What relationship can I have with them if I go, well, yeah, but we used to do it this way. Right. Why are you doing that? And I don't wanna do it. I enjoy learning from them.
Chrisitie:Right. Well, just the fact that you went from barely even knowing a single podcast existed. That's true. To now being the producer, editor, you know, everything. Everything. The host of this podcast. Just shows, you know, that anytime in your life you can keep learning new things. Boy is
Cheryl AI:that the truth? That's one of the things I wanna role model. Yeah. For everybody, all my cloud of witnesses, of people watching mm-hmm. And coming after me. Uh, it was interesting, somebody I know they went to this. Very high level exclusive conference with the top tier AI people. I'm not gonna name any here, but if you could name people that you know in that world, they were there mm-hmm. Leading the conference. Mm-hmm. And it was a very specific. High powered group. Okay. Okay. That I would never be invited to. Right. Not people we have
Chrisitie:lunch with.
Cheryl New:No, but it was really interesting because what is happening and the reality of ai, but when they got to the end of it, they said, so what do we do? How do we stay relevant? And then they Say, actually it's this Christie. Be willing to learn and unlearn and relearn. Oh, so the advice on this top level uhhuh of ai, uh, technology guru. Yeah, guru technology people was keep learning, be willing to keep learning. Wow. Be willing to change. And relearn and keep on learning. That's incredible. I thought, isn't that fantastic?
Chrisitie:Yeah. That and that, that's for every age of
Cheryl New:our lives. It, it certainly is. And you know, with a lot of people in my life, I go, I'm training my replacement, you know? Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Chrisitie:Well, and the reason I even bring this up is I was overhearing a, a mom talk it's a young mom. She had three young kids and she was talking about the. The treasure that she has in her mother and grandmother. Oh, wow. Being able to talk to them about
Cheryl New:Yeah.
Chrisitie:Parenting and, and mothering and the voice that they have in her life, but that she had such a, a tendency to Google something or ask chat gpt something when she has this wealth of wisdom at her fingertips in her mom and grandma. And, and you know, my daughter even called me this morning and, and she started the phone call with, I'm sorry, I know I could have Googled this, but Aww. And then went on to ask her question and I thought. Please do not ever apologize for asking me your mom. Yes. Something instead of Googling it. Yes. And I'm just so grateful for you and your voice in my life and parenting all these years and, and I think, you know, it is so tempting to just turn to the easy answer. Technology has a million apps, a million websites that we can easily get an answer, but we lose. So much when we don't have actual relationships that
Christie:we're
Chrisitie:gaining wisdom and insight from.
Cheryl New:Absolutely. I, I have a lot of compassion.
Chrisitie:Yeah.
Cheryl New:Because I understand, I see it all around.
Chrisitie:Mm-hmm.
Cheryl New:Uh, and people talk to me all the time about exactly what you said, my daughters and I, we banter about it a lot. It's. A real trap, Christie. I mean, like that at that conference they were talking the trap on a, you know,$20 billion level. Mm-hmm. But. It's the same thing. We're losing relationships. Yeah. For the information. Right. And the problem is particularly the more and more sophisticated that AI gets this whole issue that people are connecting to the, the. Computer program. I don't think you're supposed to call AI Computer program. Okay. What is it you call it?
Chrisitie:I don't even know. Um, just the technology.
Cheryl New:Yeah. But whatever it is, the technology that they are getting, that emotional relationship and attachment. Mm-hmm. Because it's. Curated for them. It's giving them the feedback and so forth. Right. But now we have all this loneliness, and specifically our audience that we're talking here, young parents and seasoning parents, that we need each other. Yeah. And, I love the honor with your girls, that I have that relationship. You know, I'm crazy about you. Mm-hmm. And that our lives have been intertwined. Mm-hmm. And like to be culturally relevant. Part of it is,'cause I'll go, Christie, tell me and you'll tell me something new or mm-hmm. Make sure that I know, you know, like when the ERAS tour came out. Go Right. You do know about that Uhhuh so that I can know the conversation so that I'm not talking with 1970 Groovy Right information. And I'm also not trying to be, um, a cool TikTok Right. 20-year-old. Someone
Chrisitie:you aren't, yeah. Yes.
Cheryl New:To be myself, but to love others better.
Chrisitie:Yeah. And you and I both have learned from younger generations too. Absolutely. I mean. I know that when I was young, nobody was talking about emotional health. Nobody was talking about relational wisdom. Absolutely. Nobody was talking about using sunscreen, you know? Yeah. There were a lot of things we weren't talking about in the eighties and nineties and um, I, I think that in itself is wisdom to be teachable. Yeah. And humble enough to say, Hey, I have stuff to learn from you guys too, but this all requires relationship.
Cheryl New:You know, I might even tweak that and say. That is wisdom. Yeah. That you're open
Cheryl New (2):to learn. I will say there's so much that I have learned and been impacted listening to my grown children. Mm-hmm. And having conversations. Some of the topics you mentioned, but also one of the things is the word privilege in culture came up about 10 years ago in our conversations. Mm-hmm. And, um. Even though we might have been a little bit different place on the political spectrum.
Chrisitie:Mm-hmm.
Cheryl New:We all talked about it. Right. And we interacted. And my children hugely impacted me because I listened, because we talked let's open this up some and talk about some of the struggle because we have. So much input. Mm-hmm. Astronomical input, but we're losing relationships. Right. And so particularly let's look at it maybe the parents that are listening, what some of their struggles might be, and evaluate it a little bit and see what we do with it.
Chrisitie:Yeah. I love that because even though they are natives to their, their cultural moment that they're living in, there are things that. You know, you and I both come from different generations, but older generations than, than young moms right now. And we can still, um, help them retain some of the jewels that came from our cultural moment that we were in
Cheryl New:our, at our young parenting. There's an expression called Don't throw the baby out with a bathroom. Right. You know, that you just go, oh, well, and you wipe it all off. And, and that's one of the things when I can, with my kids, I go, let's be careful. Mm-hmm. And let's glean what's good. I mean, it's like when they mined for gold, they would throw the rocks away, but they would keep the gold. And that's just what you're saying. Yeah. To look for what's good but you don't have to take everything. Right. Um, okay. So what would you say with this unlimited access to information. that's eroding relationships. Mm. And then you, you know, the young woman you were talking about, what a fantastic thing and I, I think. You told me that her parents and her grandparents all live actually in physical proximity.
Chrisitie:Right.
Cheryl New:So not only does she have the relationship, but also they're physically close. Mm-hmm. And see, I didn't have that. I didn't ever know any of my grandparents. Okay. And then. Um, my dad died when I was in my thirties, and then my mom lived in another state, so she wasn't around all the time. Mm. So I just didn't have that mentoring wonderful relationship, and I wish I had, so now we don't want the gap to be filled up with information mm-hmm. Off of the internet and particularly ai. So what are some of the other struggles that come with this?
Chrisitie:Yeah, I mean, I I don't know if it's always been like this. I've only lived in my, my years on the planet. We only
Cheryl New:have our lives,
Chrisitie:right. But I know that I experienced this as a young mom where I just wanted to do everything just right. Absolutely. But what I see in. In people who are just now starting to parent that it is like supersized that desire and almost a need to do everything right. That there's this maybe like kind of it has to do with cancel culture or Yeah. Yeah. You know, just having your life on display with social media. There's this fear of doing something wrong where maybe my generation of moms wanted. To do it right, because we loved our kids. Yeah. But now it's like this externally imposed fear on moms, on parents. Yeah. To do it all right all the time and not get anything wrong. Oh, don't let anybody find out that you gave them honey or you, oh, whatever. Now they're going back.
Cheryl New:I just saw a study about peanuts, uhhuh, and they've now realized, oh, by the way, if you give them a little bit of peanuts, they won't have a peanut allergy. The problem is all that information. Mm-hmm. And I think maybe because it's so information loaded. Right, but what you said, you think just a little more information. I can figure this out. Right. Oh, if I just listened to two more podcasts, if I just, uh. And we say Google, but I do we chat it,
Chrisitie:right? Can I chat it?
Cheryl New:Is that a verb?
Chrisitie:A friend of mine says Ask Chitchat. That's what she calls it.
Cheryl New:And that I could get one more information so I'll know. What do I feed my children? Do I let them, what side do they sleep on? Mm-hmm. I really have a compassion. I know, I see it ramping up as well. Right.
Chrisitie:And I, I think, um, in response to that, have you heard of this type B mom? Yeah. Yes. Okay. Of course. So it's, it's the idea that like. Just being a little more lax, you know? And, and I think maybe the people that are wanting to push back against that are saying, Hey, I'm, I'm not giving into that. I am what I am. And so maybe there's a hint of hope there that, that some of the moms are saying, I'm not gonna, you know, obsess over every detail that we're just exhausted. I don't know.
Cheryl New:And, and the problem is it's constant Yeah. All the time. And, It's several things, several Cs. It's constant. It's a companion that is there all the time when all your friends or extended family are not. Mm-hmm. And then it can be contradictory.
Chrisitie:Yeah. See
Cheryl New:that's the thing. There's so much and they're all so Right. Right. You know, whoever it is, they can just tell you all this IT
Chrisitie:authority and sounds like an expert. Exactly. Mm-hmm. I mean, it
Cheryl New:is after
Chrisitie:all ai, right? Well, or even just people, like anybody with a TikTok account go, sounds like an expert. We go, you know, if you hear it on the internet, it must be true. It was kind of the, even though we joke about that, we still kind of believe
Cheryl New:in it. Yeah. And back in the day, way back in the day. On tv, they would have commercials and they would have some actor have a white coat on. Oh, Uhhuh with a stethoscope over his shoulder Yes. Telling you, oh, doctors take whatever it is, or do whatever. And then they had to finally say, well, I'm not a doctor, but I You know, but just that, that people would do what the actor mm-hmm. In the commercial said. Mm-hmm. Because he had a white coat on. Right. And now the authority of being the. Ai, artificial intelligence, or on TikTok because they can curate it all and they can make it very personalized to you, and they do talk with such authority. So not only is it the overwhelming fear, I want to do it right and I don't know what to do. And I think it's the other fomo. That I'm, if I'm not keeping up with it, I might miss out on it like
Chrisitie:Right, I
Cheryl New:didn't know about Mom B what, what type Mom B is there? Right. Parent B. And there you, it's a two-headed monster. It's way overwhelming'cause it's too much. And then when you're not, you're always looking over the fence. Am I missing out on this? Right. And everybody else knows and I don't. And my children are gonna suffer. Mm-hmm.
Chrisitie:Well, and I think what we started off talking about us learning from younger generations, Uhhuh and I, I think maybe that all that fear is being reinforced by the fact that previous generations did get something wrong. And so this fear that what if we're getting something wrong, I've gotta make sure I'm not getting it wrong. Well, the truth is. Everybody's getting a handful of things wrong. Of course, you're never going to have it all right. And maybe even a little bit of our pride wanting to be the generation of parents that figures it all out for sure. Well, you know, your kids and grandkids are someday gonna tell you all the things you did wrong too.
Cheryl New:And it is hard because of what kind of start out talking with, keeping that communication going. Um. I mean, I even had it said to me by, I. Older people, you know? Well, why are you so worried about a car seat? You know, we just put the baby bassinet on the floor of the backseat and y'all turned out all right. Right. That kind of attitude. Yeah, and the problem with that. That cuts off communication. Yeah. And I wish I could go to all those older people and say, quit talking like this.
Chrisitie:Right. It's demeaning the younger
Cheryl New:moms, you have so much to give. Don't cut yourself off at the knees. Mm-hmm. And connect instead of condemn. Okay? And now I'm talking to the people who are supposed to be sharing from their lives, but that's
Cheryl New (2):also a Problem. And you know, if you have someone in your life, listeners that you want to glean from, try to pick through some of the stuff that maybe they're not handling it correctly and maybe. Again, get what you can or maybe have a conversation about what would be helpful.
Chrisitie:Yeah.
Cheryl New:You know, to talk about that.
Chrisitie:Well, yeah., Like I said, nobody's doing everything right. And so you may have a handful of people in your life that have walked the path a little farther. Mm-hmm. Longer than you have and are able to pour into your life. And maybe you don't follow every single thing that they have to offer. Maybe you disagree on some things, but
Christie:learning from.
Chrisitie:Older generations or even somebody that's, you know, farther along than you, yeah. Has real value rather than what the internet has to say
Cheryl New:and one of the problems I see with what we're talking about is the loss of confidence. Because you don't feel like the expert anymore. Mm. There's so much expertise, TikTok, wherever you wanna go. How many parenting podcasts are out there? And then everybody has an opinion and a lot of their opinions come from all the AI and all the information overload. And then the individual parent may have a real loss to value their own. Intuition and listen to their heart, looking at what their values are, and have the confidence to say, okay, I can hear all of that, but this is what I think is best for my children. Mm-hmm. Or this child, or instead of almost being a victim to the information blasting and not realizing. Oh, by the way, I can take and glean what I want from it. Mm-hmm. And I don't have to listen or be at the, um, mercy of what all the information and all those voices tell me I need to be doing. Yeah.
Chrisitie:Yeah. I think all of this, um, that we're talking about really does. Feed into the anxiety issue. Yeah. That we all struggle for sure with, I mean I think we all do at some level, struggle with anxiety and when there is this constant atmosphere of what am I not getting right, what am I even, even us talking about, you know, having mentors or people in your life that that's gonna be an added pressure to a young mom too. Sure. Like, oh, well now I've gotta do one more thing. And I think just taking a deep breath and. Looking at what's stood the test of time. Yeah. Over, you know, and that, that doesn't mean everything from a hundred years ago is no good and, and wholesome and accurate, but oh, by
Cheryl New:the way, we do support using car seats.
Chrisitie:Right. Right. Exactly. But, um. Uh, yeah, taking a deep breath and, and using some common sense and looking at things a little more objectively rather than getting caught up in the whirlwind of what feels urgent and, um, and so detrimental to, you know. Life today.
Cheryl New:I totally agree with you. In fact, we spend all our time talking about what the struggle is. Yeah. Okay. And we don't like to just do that. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. We've kind of talked about this is hard. Mm-hmm. And the struggle is real. Okay. So how about if we come back again and we talk about, so what do we do about it? Yeah. So yeah, you're right. Now what? Right. You wanna do that? That sounds good. Okay, thanks. So parents, be sure and listen in. We're gonna keep up this conversation and remember, hang in there. Keep loving, keep persevering because it's worth it.
Speaker 2:Before you rush into whatever's next, let yourself sit with this a moment. Parenting was always meant to grow out of real relationship, not constant input. If everything you're taking in has been creeping in or wearing you thin, this might be a good week to reach out to someone you trust or maybe notice. who's already been steady in your life. You don't have to keep absorbing everything that comes at you. You get to choose what aligns with your values and what belongs on the edges. And if you wanna process any of this with us, reach out at contact@theparentingpodcast.com. Sometimes. The most helpful step is pausing long enough to hear the things you may have been missing.
