Somewhere Between Drive-Thrus and Good Intentions | Ep. 213

Somewhere between good intentions and real life, a lot of parents end up feeling behind in this part of family life. This conversation pulls health back out of pressure and perfection and into something steadier, more realistic, and actually livable for everyday families.

Transcript

Christie 0:00

it's not always gonna be like this.

Speaker 0:04

It's interesting how quickly something as simple as taking care of ourselves can start to feel complicated as family life gets full. Somewhere along the way, health turns into pressure and comparison and trying to keep up with what everybody else seems to be doing better. Meanwhile, most peers are just trying to make it through the week with enough energy left to love their people well. I love how grounded this conversation felt. Not extreme, not performative, just honest discussion about health and habits in a way that felt realistic for actual family life.

Cheryl 1:00

Here we are, Christie again with Joanne Crawford and Elizabeth Mullins.

Joanne 1:05

Hello.

Cheryl 1:06

And we're back here talking about prioritizing physical, health and fitness in our families. And that's a hot topic.

Christie 1:15

It is, it's a challenge when you've got life happening at the same time and different, um, seasons of life, temperaments of your kids and your own, just resources and abilities and time.

Cheryl 1:27

It sure is.

Christie 1:28

I think last time, we were together, we talked a lot about different areas of this, but I would love if we spend our time today just getting really practical because I'm thinking about the parents listening to us right now that are like, okay, that's great, but what do I do when my kid doesn't want to stay active? Or I get that pushback, or even just for myself, like, you know, I'm busy running after kids, but I don't have time to. Go for a run on my own. So I'd love to hear from both of you just Yeah. The ways that you've navigated those things through the different times and stages of being moms.

Cheryl 2:05

Yes. Particularly stages and times, struggles and I'm thinking of, someone goes, I hear you. Where in the world do I start? You know? Mm-hmm. Do we all get full-time memberships to some club and I take all my kids all day long or. Yeah. That's unrealistic. But just talk us through this.

Joanne 2:23

So the first thing I wanna get out there is, it is not selfish. You know, don't have any guilt at all about wanting to take care of yourself, right? Because as a parent, as a mom in particular, if by taking care of yourself, you're going to be the best you can for the people that you love. Yeah. So no guilt at all for wanting to make that a priority.

Elizabeth 2:44

Absolutely. You can't pour from an empty cup. Love it. So you to fill your cup and then you can pour from that.

Cheryl 2:50

And see we talk about it all the time, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and relationally, we need to do all that. And now we're that other component that's huge in our lives. So talk with us. What was your journey? What would you recommend?

Elizabeth 3:05

Well, what's super fun is Joanne and I, we both started mothering or going through motherhood similar timeframe had mm-hmm. First child first, and then I had my first, and we got to enjoy some walks together and sharing of. The challenges that we faced during that stage. And I just remember strollers. Yeah. Pushing strollers. And I just remember being so like excited for nap time because that meant some me time. Mm-hmm. And then just figuring out like, how do I spend my me time? Do I take a nap too? Do I get chores done? Do I meal prep? Do I exercise? Like how do I do that? Even as a fitness professional? How do I, um, I don't know, find time for myself, and so I'll let her, I'll talk that back to you.

Joanne 3:48

It is a challenge for sure. It is a challenge., And something I like to encourage, you know, my busy clients, either they're professionals or moms, is just, doesn't involve hours in the gym. You know, you can build in. Activity into your day. Even just little walks or, 30 minutes of some kind of activity per day. The idea is just doing something consistently, whatever you do, uhhuh. I think that, There's a lot of different components to health and fitness routine. You wanna incorporate some kind of strength act activity 'cause muscle is so important, especially as we age. Some kind of cardio activity. 'cause your heart health is super important and you need that., And also just to be able to be active with your kids, you wanna have that stamina and endurance.

Elizabeth 4:33

Absolutely.

Joanne 4:34

I love that encouragement,

Christie 4:36

to bring your kids in alongside of you. What are some creative ideas you guys could think of? Like maybe the mom that has, young kids, like four, six year olds. Like how do you get your kids excited and I mean, at that age they're naturally wanting to play still. What are some ideas you guys have of just jumping in there with them

Cheryl 4:56

And I'm gonna add to that especially. In the screen age

Christie 5:01

mm-hmm.

Cheryl 5:02

Where screens are everywhere and so this is counter, cultural to children sitting with screens all the time.

Elizabeth 5:10

Sure. Um, I think getting your body moving just helps your mind work better. Just today I had a friend text me and shared a video of their children out learning while moving, and they just had some chalk on his sidewalk and they were learning to count and add and. Do those things. And I just think it doesn't have to be anything elaborate or extreme. Um, it can just be a matter of just like go outside for a nice walk on a nice day. But if you're inside and the weather's not great, um, you could use a screen to do some yoga.

Joanne 5:39

Yeah.

Elizabeth 5:40

But then you turn it off and then maybe you go in and engage in other things. Um, you can join a gym, of course, if that's a resource that you have access to. A lot of them have childcare and for certain ages, but then they also age out of that. And so the children learn, oh, next stage we get to move from play to more formal movement.

Cheryl 5:59

Mm-hmm.

Elizabeth 6:00

And so that's a neat thing because you're modeling that. Whatever you're choosing, whether it's you go to the park and you walk, or you ride your bike or you go to a gym and you use those resources there, you're just modeling the behavior that you're hoping that they'll adopt, in the future as well. Mm-hmm.

Christie 6:15

Yeah. That's great. I love that. I love just what you were saying about it not being selfish too, um, because it, like you're saying, you're modeling. So even if, even if it's hard, I think, I mean, 'cause I, I struggled with that mentality thinking anything I did for myself felt like I was taking away from the family.

6:33

Yes.

Joanne 6:33

Yeah.

Christie 6:33

And so if you can't get. Past, you know, that it's good for you. You can at least maybe think of it being good for your kids too, because you're setting that example for them. Mm-hmm.

Joanne 6:43

Sure. Yeah. You're kind of creating your family's culture of like, we are an active family. We, we like to do things that are active. And you have to model that for them. Mm-hmm. And so something that was really helpful for our family was getting our dog, Gabby, we have a Puridor and. She is the laziest dog, but we were hoping for a little more active dog. But every night our family, it just got to be our routine that we would take Gabby for a walk. Oh. And, and my husband and I could use her as the excuse like, well, Gabby wants all of us with her. And so, even now, it's so fun that to have my older kids and all of us walking with Gabby to the park, you know, it's our little neighborhood park. And so just little creative ways that you can do, Something, you know, using technology also with your kids. There's a lot of great videos on YouTube you can find that are geared for kids, uh, that you could put on while you're doing a quick little,, workout in your house. I don't know if the Just Dance, videos game are still around. My kids love those and it was. Awesome activity. You know, just great exercise. We all love to do that,

Cheryl 7:49

so That's so funny. I didn't know other people

Carol 7:51

did that. Yeah. We enjoyed just dance so much. Mm-hmm. When my kids were teenagers and then when they weren't at home, I would put it on that's so fun. You know, more fun than just jumping, roper, walking or doing whatever I did.

Joanne 8:04

Sure. Right.

Cheryl 8:05

We've talked about incorporating movement into our days in various ways. Mm-hmm. What are other ways you see bringing fitness into a family, realistic in this culture? A family that has children, what are some practical steps that you would say, okay, we're kind of ground zero. What could I do? So we've incorporated a little movement. What else would y'all suggest?

Joanne 8:27

Okay, well, first of all, I'd like to just say, it doesn't cost a lot of money to do, an effective workout at home., There's a lot of great resources out there, too. Little YouTube videos, you can find short, little, workouts. Uh, ideally you could, you know, maybe work with a trainer for a time or, maybe join a gym for a time just to get that knowledge. But if you can't do that, there are ways that you can, have a nice little. Space in your home. You can have just some bands that are very inexpensive or just even use body weight exercises. Mm-hmm. You can do them with your kids and just really, you know, 20 to 30 minutes a day even the idea is something, and not nothing. I mean, I think a lot of people get bogged down with trying to get the perfect routine and, yeah. Uh, the time factor, but really I just, over and over again, it just comes down to consistency. Doing something consistently and, and not trying to do too much. You know, we have a lot of all or nothing mentalities where, you know, I have people coming in like, oh, I wanna work out five days a week, and then they burn out. 'cause it's not sustainable, like Elizabeth said,, just, earlier about being something that you can do for the long term.

Elizabeth 9:34

Yeah, and I agree with that. It's all about consistency over intensity.

Cheryl 9:39

Now talk about that. Those are good

Elizabeth 9:40

words. Yeah. Tell us about it. There are so many phrases like, go big or go home, or You're not sweating, you're not working hard.

Cheryl 9:46

Yes.

Elizabeth 9:47

I

Cheryl 9:47

mean, that's the intimidation

Elizabeth 9:49

mm-hmm.

Cheryl 9:49

Of the strength and fitness culture when you're just kind of an average person or certainly starting out and certainly with the family. Well, I mean, just the t-shirts you see.

Elizabeth 10:00

Sure.

Cheryl 10:01

And that's really intimidating.

Elizabeth 10:02

Yeah. It can be intimidating or it can be empowering. Empowering for some people, you know, the person that wear is wearing it, you never know what their journey is. I love, I love personally, like if I'm driving down the road, I have a little bit of envy of like, oh my goodness, that person's out running or walking or jogging and then, then I'm curious, I'm like, I wonder what their journey is. I wonder where are they at on their fitness journey? Because you know, there's not, every day it's easy to get out and move your body. And it's again, about that consistency. Um, but one thing that I feel like was a challenge as working as a personal trainer with new moms or new clients, in that younger stage, when I had my own kids, I only had two hours of childcare there when I was working. And so I really had to time my arrival. The diaper changing the food, like the snacks. 'cause I had to do that. If they had to call me back, they were like, diaper change, you had to run back 'cause they weren't gonna do that for you. Oh. So that was like one of those things where you were like, you really gotta time this. And then, I do remember a lot of clients that would come in and they say, I just don't know that the gym is for me because I'm not in shape yet. And I'm like, yeah. You don't have to be in shape to come to the gym, the gym's for everyone. And so one of the things that I try to take from that season when my kids were younger. And add to some of the clients that I work with that are like teens and older, maybe going into college Uhhuh and starting their own healthy habits as a young adult is, I say, you belong in the gym. If you choose to be in there. And if you don't know how to use something, there's someone that you can always ask. Right. Yeah. And so don't be afraid to learn something. Um, but I always wanna empower them. I want them to know like, this is a place that you can come and grow and learn, and it's for everybody, right? It's not just for the people that have big muscles and, and they look like they're confident and strong and

Cheryl 11:52

mm-hmm.

Elizabeth 11:52

I want them to all know that there's a space for them to come and challenge themselves and get better. And so it can be like videos at home. It can be going to a gym that may be intimidating for them, but. The hardest part is just the first step in the door. Yes. Get in the door, find your community. Maybe you're a group fitness person. That was one of my first things I did was I taught group fitness classes at Oklahoma Christian, and I had no equipment at all. Like I had sliders. My sliders were paper plates and then I had towels and we had these little step risers and we just made it work. We like moved our bodies. We had a community of people that came together Accountability is some of it. Mm-hmm. So, like Joanne said, maybe hiring a personal trainer for a short time gives you someone to show up, um, accountable to. And then you start building that habit for yourself, and then maybe you only just have to check in here and there.

Christie 12:43

Mm-hmm.

Joanne 12:43

Yeah, that,

Christie 12:44

I love that you just make it sound so, um, accessible and less intimidating, just knowing that everyone starts somewhere.

Elizabeth 12:51

Sure.

Christie 12:52

And that there's, there's no shame in the past. We're just looking forward from wherever you're starting today. I think another part of health that we wanna talk about too is, um. Nutrition and, and what we eat. And that's the hardest thing I think as a mom. When you've got picky eaters and you're busy, you're trying to get dinner on the table, what ideas do you guys have in that world?

Cheryl 13:14

And the not so healthy is the fast stuff,

Christie 13:16

right?

Cheryl 13:16

And the easy stuff. Yeah.

Christie 13:17

Yeah.

Cheryl 13:18

Okay. So, you know, talk a little bit. Big picture, and then let's get really practical to encourage our audience with here's a good way to begin your steps and, and because like you said, well use paper plates for sliders. What can we do to, to

Joanne 13:34

simplify things?

Cheryl 13:35

Simplify, yeah.

Joanne 13:36

Mm-hmm. Well, for, starters I would suggest, not keeping junk foods in the house. I think we all have a good idea of what that is. Yeah. Soft drinks, candy, stuff like that. If you can only control your house. Right. Yeah. You can't control what your family will get, when they're outside of your house. But if as much as you can control it, don't bring that stuff into your home. And I made that decision, very much because I can't have that stuff in the house., I like to eat. I really enjoy, um. Just eating, you know, I love cookies. If I have a choice between a cookie and an apple, I'm gonna go for the cookie. Yeah. And so for me, I keep those for very special occasions only because I want to eat well most of the time. So for my kids, just my personal experiences, we would eat good about 80 to 90% of the time. And so when they went out of my house, I didn't really stress about what they were eating because I knew that they weren't eating that at home.

Elizabeth 14:32

Yeah, I would agree with that too. One thing that I've not done a great job of through the years is I really like ice cream and I'm like, Joanne, I'm love food. Like, food is great. Um, I enjoy all foods and that's one thing I wanted the messaging to our family to be is that. We don't demonize any foods. Yeah, like there's nothing that you can't have, but there are some things that are just suggested that you should minimize, like saturated fats. Yeah. We really don't need more than 10% of fat in our diet so that our heart and our body and everything can function well. But with that said, I really like ice cream and I may eat out of the container with a fork and everyone knows that mom's been in the container because I'm the one that eat. There's a fork mark. Yes. So you're a

Cheryl 15:20

closet eater?

Elizabeth 15:21

Oh, I'm not a closet either. It's very well known, but it's just one of those things, like she said, if you bring it in the house. You're going to eat it. Yeah. And that's me. Mm-hmm. And it's, it's such an interesting thing. So one thing I think we did well, um, you know, after claiming my thing that I don't do well, um, is we always try to implement, if you're hungry, fill your belly with something good first. And then you can go choose something from the, like, you know, individual package selection. So like we had

Cheryl 15:49

Yeah. Give examples.

Elizabeth 15:50

Yeah. Like we had bag chips or we had packaged crackers, or maybe we had fruit snacks. And things like that around. And, um, we would say, Hey, go eat, you know, a piece of string cheese and an apple first, and drink some water. If you're still hungry, go grab another packaged snack. But you needed to actually fill your belly with something that's good. That was nutritious. And came from the ground. Maybe like eat something green. So I say that a lot. Like something colorful, something vibrant. And I never like made them eat things they didn't like. Mm-hmm. So it's like explore them, try it once, try it twice. Yeah. If you don't like it, it's not for you. That's okay. 'cause I think I came from the background of. Kind of a diet culture. I saw some of those things as well. And definitely do not like some of the foods that I was fed. And definitely was told You're gonna clean your plate. Yeah. And so the clean your plate thing was like, well, you don't have to tell me twice usually, but a lot of the things I didn't like. And But you're still reinforcing that by saying that. Mm-hmm. And so we didn't come from a lot, and so we wanted to take advantage of what we had in front of us. And so that kind of went hand in hand. And so that was some things that I had to kind of undo for myself first.

Cheryl 17:01

Wow.

Elizabeth 17:01

Before, you know, kind of rolling out what we wanted culture wise or environment wise for our own families.

Christie 17:07

Mm.

Cheryl 17:08

Well like that. And so, you know, there's the scarcity mindset.

Elizabeth 17:11

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Cheryl 17:12

Um, but what you just mentioned, 'cause I go, that's was what I was raised with and my culture was We don't want to waste the food. Mm-hmm. And so you have to clean your plate because we would be wasting, so whatever the opposite of scarcity, it was, I don't know,

Elizabeth 17:29

abundance.

Cheryl 17:30

Abundance, yeah. That we have this abundance and you have to use it all or you're wasting it.

Elizabeth 17:35

Mm-hmm.

Cheryl 17:35

And that's not good balance either,

Joanne 17:37

correct. No. Mm-hmm. And if you have a house where you've been keeping junk in the home, it, it's okay. Just, I wanna prepare you. You're gonna get some pushback from your kids. And I heard a lot, I don't know if you did, Elizabeth, but my kids would, complain sometimes 'cause we didn't have all the fun snacks and drinks all the time and why couldn't we, you know, have the food that their friends did and whatever. Right. But that was something that was really important to us. And we held firm and I'm. So glad now that I have some young adults to see that the fruit of that, I can see it now. Yeah. And I see them making good choices because they have been able to, correlate how they eat with how they feel.

Christie 18:15

Yes.

Joanne 18:16

So while they do enjoy, you know, pizza and, and soft drinks and all that, they know they're not gonna feel the best after they eat it. Yeah. And that is wonderful because now they're self-regulating. They don't need me to tell them. So hang in there. And the resistance will pass. It'll be worth it.

Cheryl 18:34

I agree with you, but one of the things when

Carol 18:36

they

Cheryl 18:37

have more freedom or they're out there more on their own as they're teens and so forth, is

Carol 18:43

it may take a while. Like when my kids started driving the floor of their cars were full of junk food, of fast food and wrappers and um. I remember my son going freshman year. He is walking out the door to go to classes. He had this enormous, uh, drink cup with big handle on it, and he was drinking out of it. I said, it's eight 30 in the morning. Go, Hey, what are you drinking? Said Cocoa puffs.

Elizabeth 19:12

Oh my.

Carol 19:13

Goodbye. Glad

Cheryl 19:15

you're equipping your mind and body, but because of what we did and I liked to explain. The science behind why

Carol 19:24

we ate the way we did, you mentioned colorful foods, why we eat this way and what's good about it and bioflavonoids. And so I just kind of had that conversation going. So I noticed. My kids kind of did boomerang. Mm-hmm. They might kind of go out and do their own thing for a while, but what you said, they realized they didn't feel so good from it. Mm-hmm. And I didn't have to say anything, and they kind of came back and realized this is the way I wanna feed my body. 'cause I like the way it feels and how I feel.

Christie 19:52

Yeah, I love this approach that, you know, being patient with the long game of your kids, figuring these things out. I was laughing with my 20 somethings the other day. I walk in and they're comparing meal prep choices of different foods and, and I was like, who would've thought the girls that only ate Cheez-It fruit snacks and Dr. Pepper at one point in their life now are, you know, comparing, sharing recipes and ideas. And I think. In time when you're pouring the right information into their lives that, you know, they come around eventually.

Elizabeth 20:25

Yeah.

Cheryl 20:25

Well, and what we've talked on both of these episodes about is. The words we put in into their mental tapes and to their heart tapes that we're saying things that we want to put in there. And so just what you're talking about that they may make other choices, but our job is the tapes that we put in there, the role modeling that we're doing. 'cause we're in it for the long game.

Joanne 20:48

Mm-hmm.

Cheryl 20:49

Mm-hmm. Not just what the spurt is gonna be or what the trend is.

Joanne 20:52

Right. For sure. Um, there is a book I recommend to my clients a lot that's super helpful with creating new habits. It's Atomic Habits by James Clear. You all have probably heard of it.

Cheryl 21:03

Mm-hmm.

Joanne 21:03

Um, I love it because he really breaks down into very simple steps, how you can implement new habits. 'cause this can feel so overwhelming. And so I really recommend that, if you're wanting to change your environment, but you don't know where to start.

Cheryl 21:16

Oh, that's good. Do you have any. Books or resources you'd recommend?

Elizabeth 21:20

Actually, I have a book here that it's just in my bag. It is not specific to nutrition or exercise, but it's. Specific to excellence in life. And I feel like that goes hand in hand with habits and it's called the Way of excellence, A Guide to True Greatness and Deep Satisfaction in a Chaotic World. And it's by Brad Stohlberg. And anyway, I've really enjoyed just. Digging into it and just seeing some of the things that if you are wanting to go to that next level with nutrition and habits and things, then you can take that step. Um, and then yours seems like it's more like the initial steps and creating those habits,

Joanne 21:58

how to do the habits.

Elizabeth 21:59

Yeah. Yeah. And then this one here can just kind of build on that with excellence.

Cheryl 22:04

That's great because it's habits that got us where we're not doing the right things. Right. You know, the habit of not exercising or the habit of, oh, it's so much easier just to buy the junk food. Or boy, this cookie tastes cookie with ice cream. Mm-hmm. Of course this tastes so much better than eating an apple.

Elizabeth 22:23

Mm-hmm.

Cheryl 22:23

Mm-hmm. And so I love how this blends together and that, that's what we're saying. You know, the old journey of a thousand miles starts with one step. But it actually does.

Elizabeth 22:33

Yeah.

Cheryl 22:33

And if we're in it, particularly for our children and our families, if we've got the long game in view, willing to do what it takes to bring this kind of healthiness and balance into our families. Mm-hmm. I love this.

Joanne 22:49

Well, and you know, it does really come down to habits and speaking into that, you know. Long game vision. I find it's also helpful to, somehow articulate your why, like your reason why. Oh, okay. Because, like Elizabeth mentioned in being an athlete, that an athlete knows their why. and that informs how they train for that. But when you are, a. Working mom or whatever. What is your reason for wanting to implement some healthy habits into your home and just kind of articulating that, whatever that is to your specific home. It's helpful in forming the new habits, I find.

Cheryl 23:24

Mm-hmm. Well, uh, what I'd like to ask the two of you. Is what you just said. Can you put a little words to it? For the parent listening, when their kids are pushing back and go, I don't wanna do sports, I don't wanna do that. What are some ways that you've found that work with either clients you have or your own children or yourself, that you could actually say, well, the way I'd like to do it is talk about it this way, particularly. When the kid's going, I just don't want to do it. I don't like it. I just wanna stay home. Or just mom. I'm not a fitness guru. I don't want to do any of that.

Christie 24:02

Yeah. And too, in that same vein, how much, um, to require your kids and how much to give. Free choice because I, I know for me as a mom, I remember being so nervous that if I put too much pressure on something, they were gonna rebel the other way and that it would be counterproductive. That's,

Cheryl 24:20

or we didn't do it, put any pressure and nothing ever happened. Right.

Elizabeth 24:24

Yeah. So there's actually guidelines for our youth and even into adults. So you could lean into that and just say, Hey, these are the exercise standards that are research backed. 60 minutes a day of movement is good for your body, and we're not telling you how to move your body. We're just asking you to be intentional with your movement. So you get to choose how you do that, whether it's a sport or whether it's you just going out and running or walking or jogging. That's where I would start. Mm-hmm. Okay. I would just start with just the basic standards, because. Standards, like put your habits into place.

Cheryl 24:58

Oh yeah.

Elizabeth 24:58

And then once you adjust and you can have some dynamic flexibility depending on what your season you're in and then what your body's capable of doing. Because I know I had surgery two years ago on my knee and I, I had to re-go through this whole process of like. Walking. Right. Wow. I had to remember, okay, my muscles are not working for me. So it felt like I was a beginner again. Right. Wow. Now, I had some other things to lean on of like, I've done this before. I can get back to it. But it reminded me of just the basics.

Cheryl 25:31

Oh, I love

25:31

that.

Elizabeth 25:31

The basics are important when you're, you know, resetting. We should revisit those pretty regularly. Good. And so it's okay to do things, just simple things really well.

Joanne 25:41

Mm-hmm. Excellent. That's good. No, a hundred percent. I agree with what Elizabeth said. I think that's fantastic. I've had three kids and some of them are athletic and some of them aren't, but we've just always encouraged them to stay active. 'cause, our bodies are made to move. You know, that's uhhuh, they're designed to move. However you wanna do that, I have a son who's not particularly into playing sports. He likes watching him, but he's made exercise a habit just 'cause he knows it's good for him.

Cheryl 26:09

Oh, excellent. We are gonna wrap it up. What would you leave our listeners with? What are some pearls that you have from your experience or things that you've learned?

Elizabeth 26:18

Yeah, sure. Something that I've started to ask all my clients, no matter what age or ability they're at, I ask them what is something that's challenged you? What is something you've learned and what's your favorite? Because no matter who I train or work with or encounter, even with raising my own kids, I'm gonna know what their least favorite vegetable is. I'm gonna know that they don't like doing this exercise or this chore or whatever, but let's lean into the things they do like and then let's remind them, right? Like it's so easy to find the negative and it's so easy to find the things that. Well, I don't like this. I don't like that. Oh, that's good. So we can flip it and say, oh, okay, well this challenged you. And sometimes the challenge is their favorite thing. And then they start to realize, I can do hard things. I can show up for myself in a different way, and then they can learn something new about themselves.

Christie 27:05

Oh, I love that. Those are great.

Joanne 27:07

That's great. I'm kind of piggybacking on what Elizabeth said. So if to the mom who's maybe wanting to implement new healthy habits in her house, but has not done that for herself, I would say it starts from the top down. You know, it starts with the leadership. So I would say, if it's not a part of your family culture now, really just take the time to focus on yourself. And do the hard things. Like Elizabeth said, when you gain that confidence, you're going to be able to parent so much better and you'll be able to encourage them. So, you know, I would just say start with yourself. Start working on those habits for yourself, and once you've got that down, you're gonna have the confidence to share that with your family. Hmm.

Elizabeth 27:46

Yeah,

Cheryl 27:47

Even if your vitality isn't what other

Carol 27:50

people have or it's more limited. Or maybe someone has. Actual physical struggles an autoimmune disease or something, and they can't perform the way some other people, or they can't lift the weights. Others can, but to do their capacity.

Christie 28:05

mm-hmm. I mean, I'm just thinking about being a young mom that was busy and overwhelmed. And now I actually have my first grandchild. So that shifts your focus quite a bit. And I just think you guys have given some really great encouragement to parents where they're at in the overwhelm and the busyness and the pushback. I think if you're in that phase of life, you can just be mindful of the fact that you will someday have more margin in your life. True. You will be to a place, but true. Encouraging you to do the things today to be in a better starting point. When those times come Love bet. Because

Cheryl 28:42

Absolutely. Very, very good.

Christie 28:43

Yeah,

Elizabeth 28:43

absolutely. Can I add? Sure. A couple more thoughts. Absolutely. Sorry, it's just my wheels are starting to turn just a little bit. Just to add on to what Joanne said. Comparison is a thief.

Cheryl 28:54

Oh yes.

Elizabeth 28:54

In life. Mm-hmm. It steals so much joy from us and if you are new and you're starting out, don't compare your journey to someone else that's been on the journey for a while. And even, like I mentioned, I had my knee surgery and I had to reset Comparison is so easy. But find someone that does inspire you. I leaned on Lindsay Vaughn, like literally I was like, she rebuilt her body. She again, she's gonna be rebuilding her body. But literally it's just one of those things of like, you can see people as inspiration but don't compare. Right. Your journey is your journey. Yeah. So I came up with this thing as my kids were young and they were in sports, and it was just this chaotic time when I was in grad school and I was just trying to figure out like, how do I keep my head above water? How do I like get enough sleep? How do I. Feed them well because I want to, there's a huge priority in our family. It's a huge priority, and I had to lean on help. I had to ask for help from my in-laws while I was in class in the evenings. But then the drop off and the pickup and the waiting and the lines and the carpool, I called that my loop of love. Like, because I'm doing this out of love for them, but sometimes it takes a lot of me, and that can be draining. Oh, I love it. And so I called that my loop of love. And then what I found is they were getting older. I started to be like, wait, wait, wait, wait. Can you just ride with me? As I started driving now I've got two in college and I'm like, my loop of love is like, it's bigger. It's like bigger in distance, but it's like far between and between the car rides, right? Uhhuh. So it just kind of makes me a little bit sad. And so if I were to go back and think of the things like, man, what would I do? I'd just be more present. I'd put my phone down more, right?

Joanne 30:30

Oh

Elizabeth 30:31

yeah. I'd put my phone down more. I'd care less about how everyone thought I was parenting or how I was showing up with feeding them or whatever, and showing up for myself a little bit better so that I could show up for them better.

Cheryl 30:43

Mm-hmm.

Elizabeth 30:43

Um, because I think we all kind of have those things. So anyway, that encourage, that's

Cheryl 30:46

fantastic. Yes. Mm-hmm.

Elizabeth 30:49

That's good.

Cheryl 30:50

Yes. That's excellent. I love Loop of Love. What a wonderful

Carol 30:54

perspective Because it's not about fitness, it's about loving others well.

Christie 30:57

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Cheryl 30:58

Including yourself. You two. Thank you so much. This was excellent. Mm,

Christie 31:02

thank you.

Cheryl 31:02

I appreciate it. So, and tell us,, if our. Listeners wanna get in touch with you. Where can they find you on the internet or Instagram? Where are you?

Joanne 31:10

Okay. You can find us if you search for Go, Crawford Personal Training. We have our website with all of our information there. Um, good. Yeah. We work with people of all ages, like I mentioned. I particularly love working with women.

Cheryl 31:23

What about you, Elizabeth?

Elizabeth 31:24

Yeah, so you can find me on Instagram with Mullin's Performance Fitness, and mostly working in the performance space with athletes, but I do have some general population clients, and then if I'm ever not able to help somebody that reaches out, I have colleagues that I like to pass people on too, so it's nice to have friends that are in the industry.

Joanne 31:41

Yeah, likewise.

Cheryl 31:41

Excellent. Thanks again. Hey parents. Hang in there. Keep loving, keep persevering because it's worth it.

Speaker 2 31:52

Maybe the thing I appreciated most here was the reminder that healthy families usually aren't built by dramatic overhauls. More often, it's parents quietly trying again tomorrow, adjusting, resetting, staying in the long game without giving up on themselves or their kids. And honestly, if you've ever felt behind in this area, I hope this conversation gave you a little more hope than pressure. Thanks for spending this time with us today. You can always reach out through our website, social media, or contact@theparentingpodcast.com.