172: 3 Kingdoms EVERY MAN Must Build

Summary:
In this powerful episode of the Fire Forged Leader Podcast, Steve Baumgartner shares his raw personal journey — from brokenness and addiction to becoming a leader forged through faith, discipline, and relentless growth.
Steve reveals why rebuilding your life begins with honoring your body as a temple, leading through service, and pursuing a legacy that impacts eternity.
He also announces critical changes coming to the Fire Forged Leader Podcast, aimed at empowering men to rise, rebuild, and lead at home, at work, and beyond.

🎯 Optimized Takeaways:

• You’re not broken — you’re fighting a battle you were never trained for.
• True leadership is forged through fire, not given by title.
• Transformation requires confronting your past, not running from it.
• Your body is a temple — it must be honored, disciplined, and strengthened.
• Leadership is service — not dominance.
• Every man has a divine calling to leave a legacy that echoes beyond his lifetime.
• Change is uncomfortable — but necessary for growth and leadership.
• Self-discipline and daily accountability are non-negotiables for strong men.
• A real man leads in three critical arenas: family, work, and community.
• Fire Forged Leader is now fully focused on equipping men to embrace their leadership roles with courage and conviction.

🕰️ Chapters:

00:00 — Welcome to the New Era of Fire Forged Leader
02:05 — Steve’s Personal Story: From Broken to Forged
09:51 — The Body as a Temple: Why Your Strength Matters
14:05 — Leadership Through Service: Impact Over Ego
20:00 — Legacy: Building a Life That Outlives You
22:01 — Announcing the New Mission of Fire Forged Leader

Transcript

Steve Baumgartner (00:00.504)
Hey man, I see you. I see you out there grinding every day at work. I see you come home and you try and hold it all together. You're putting in the work, but deep down, you know that something's off.

You might be winning in your career, but you're losing that connection with your wife at home. You're showing up for your family possibly. But somehow it doesn't feel like it's enough at work. You're exhausted. You're frustrated and you wonder how much longer can I keep this up?

Guys, if that's you, you're not broken. You're not weak.

You're just trying to fight a battle that you were never trained to win.

And that's why this podcast and my programs exist. This is where men like you learn to lead at work, in your community, and even harder at home.

Steve Baumgartner (01:11.276)
Leaders are not born in a womb. They're forged through heat, pressure, and a whole lot of sweat. The Fire Forge Leader podcast serves the audience through exploring leadership at work, in the community, and with the family, using the practical perspective and real life experiences from the host, Steve Baumgartner, and his guests in the Forge. Now, it's time to enter the Forge.

with the Fireforged Leader.

Steve Baumgartner (01:46.668)
Before I get into today's message, I want you to know that the Fireforge Leader podcast is about to go through a transition. This change will probably cost me a large portion of my bass listeners, but that's a chance that I'm willing to take.

In this episode, I'm going to explain the why that I've chosen to make that change with the cast. I believe the why is going to help you understand why it's worth that risk, the risk of possibly losing listeners. And I'll tell you exactly what's changing at the end of the episode. But first, let's start with some story time. I've explained this before and I'm going to say it again, but I haven't always been like this.

I wasn't always a leader. And mind you, I am not saying that I'm perfect by any stretch of the imagination now, but I am a lot better than I used to be. I didn't lead myself well. I didn't lead my family well. And I certainly didn't lead beyond the walls of my home. The truth is, I was a broken man and I was at war with myself.

And I told you guys these stories before, but I'm gonna reintroduce them today.

So first off, years ago, as you guys probably remember, I hit rock bottom.

Steve Baumgartner (03:20.854)
I was facing prison time. And I don't know if I ever told you the time limit that I was facing, but I was looking at 36 years in the penitentiary at that time.

Steve Baumgartner (03:34.082)
I had already told my kids. Goodbye.

I went and told them that they were never gonna see me again. And I walked away from them.

I had given up on the entire world. And quite frankly, I was ready to end it all.

But somehow, they can only.

be described or be explained by the grace of God, I found myself on my hands and knees, found myself in front of my dad's house, my dad who I haven't talked to for years.

Steve Baumgartner (04:21.526)
And after I crawled myself to the front porch, like the prodigal son returning to his father, it was there that I met the father through my earthly father.

And that day my life changed guys. Not because of anything I did.

but because God stepped in and he showed me he wasn't finished with me yet.

Through that experience, God lifted, He totally took that addiction from my life and lifted it completely off.

But here's something that no one tells you or maybe isn't. Just didn't tell me in my life. But something that I had never heard is that.

Steve Baumgartner (05:23.65)
Getting clean, it doesn't mean that you're free.

Steve Baumgartner (05:31.35)
I stopped using, but for years I still had the behaviors of an addict. And to go a little bit deeper into that, the behaviors is what makes the addict. The addict doesn't make the behaviors, it just enhances them.

And when I say behaviors, those behaviors came from something else. There's ripped causes to them. One of these behaviors that I had was when I was an addict, I had a tremendous behavior.

Steve Baumgartner (06:11.32)
that I was a victim. I was a victim of all those root causes, that I was trapped by the chains of my past.

And I treated people around me like they did something to me. Like all of society was evil because of things that happened to me in my past. And I use that past, the past before my adoption, the past about my father not being around during my teenage years, the past about my first wife abandoning our children.

And I use those all as chains. Chains that not only hold me down, but chains that I also swung around and used as weapons against the people who actually cared about me.

Steve Baumgartner (07:12.406)
It wasn't until I was on the edge of collapse in my second marriage, the one that I'm in, it wasn't until the moment that that was on the edge of collapse.

until the woman who stayed with me through it all was ready to walk away. That I finally realized.

It wasn't just my past that needed to die. It was the man that I was still choosing to be.

Steve Baumgartner (07:48.686)
And this is when God stepped in again, guys. Through a deeply personal encounter, He entered the space with my wife and myself.

He entered that space in our marriage that was broken beyond what I thought could be repaired. And through that encounter, he gave me, he gave me the tools that completely changed my mindset.

Steve Baumgartner (08:24.706)
But even at that, he wasn't done yet. God used yet another moment, many more moments. But one that I'm going to talk about today to wake me up was the chance that I had to, that I received to meet Jacco Willink, to work with Jacco Willink and team, a man who embodies discipline, ownership and leadership.

You guys might have heard of them. The great Jaco, right?

Steve Baumgartner (09:01.858)
And I'm not sure that Jaco remembers this, but I sure as hell do. And for the first time in a long time, I felt something new inside of

It wasn't baggage. It wasn't guilt. It wasn't shame.

All that was replaced with an intent inspiration and a burning drive for real change. And after those encounters in extreme ownership, I looked in the mirror, metaphorically speaking, of course, but I looked in the mirror even more than I had up to this point. And I realized a brutal truth about myself.

The real enemy, it wasn't the world. It wasn't my past. It wasn't the people who had hurt me. The real enemy, guys, was that man staring back at me in that mirror.

Steve Baumgartner (10:10.86)
And that day, I decided to go to war. Not against the world.

but against the weaknesses in myself. I realized how important it was for my body to be in alignment with my spirituality and my mind, my mindset. My body needed discipline. It needed to be worked. It needed to be challenged and made fit. And that's when I lost 80 pounds, guys.

I changed my diet. I changed my activity level. And I cut out everything that was numbing my mind and also numbing my body.

Steve Baumgartner (11:02.648)
For each and every one of those battles, God was leading me deeper and deeper into this truth that I know now. And I'm gonna quote a little bit of scriptures here. 1 Corinthians 6, 19 and 20. And we're all familiar with this one, but it states, do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you?

whom you have from God.

and that you are not your own. For you were purchased at a price. Therefore, glorify God in your body.

Now I know that Paul was talking about immorality in the scripture, but that's a bold statement that we're a temple, a temple for the Holy Spirit, and that we're supposed to use our body to glorify God. And when I think about a temple, I think about, I think about sacredness. I think about value. I think about reverence.

You don't disrespect a temple. You honor it.

Steve Baumgartner (12:21.068)
You protect it and you treat it like it matters because it does.

And if your body is a temple, then you are sacred. You are valuable. You are a place where worship happens, not just on Sundays, but with your entire life.

Steve Baumgartner (12:48.162)
But most men, they treat their body, mind and spirit like a trash can instead of a temple. And then they wonder why they feel empty. They wonder why they feel angry or exhausted.

Guys, sometimes I'm not very quick on the uptake. Sometimes I'm not good at listening. But the amazing thing is, God keeps pursuing us no matter how stubborn we are.

Steve Baumgartner (13:27.116)
The temple is the foundation of all true leadership, guys.

If you don't take dominion over your own body, your mind and your spirit, you're never gonna be able to lead anyone else. I didn't set out to create this path, not with this podcast, not with the things that I do. And honestly, for the last five years, I haven't even understood why God kept putting certain things in my path until now.

I never felt qualified. I never felt like the perfect choice. Yet God kept on calling me anyways. He kept using me as a conduit.

Steve Baumgartner (14:20.876)
He's brought people to me that have lost their faith.

Steve Baumgartner (14:28.758)
And somehow he used me, he used me to help lead them back to him.

Steve Baumgartner (14:43.062)
He also used me.

Steve Baumgartner (14:48.322)
to lead people for the very first time. To him.

Steve Baumgartner (14:56.972)
He's also brought me men struggling with anxiety or depression or anger. And somehow he used me.

to speak into their life.

to speak into their mindset.

and point them.

Steve Baumgartner (15:18.168)
toward what it truly means to be a man.

He brought me men broken in their physical health. And somehow he used me to ignite their fitness and weight loss journeys.

Steve Baumgartner (15:38.766)
All of this, not because I'm perfect, not because I'm a great conduit.

Steve Baumgartner (15:46.52)
but because I said yes to His plan. But the Temple, it's just the beginning. It's just the beginning.

God hasn't called you to stand strong. He's called you to serve strong. And you can only serve by standing strong. The second kingdom is the kingdom of service. In the second kingdom,

You must lead in service, because leadership isn't about you. It's about the impact that you make on others. Quoting scripture again, Mark 10 verse 45 says, for even the son of man came not to be served, but to serve and to give his life as ransom for many.

for even the Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve.

Steve Baumgartner (16:58.518)
If Jesus Christ, the King of Kings, came to serve, then brother, so should we.

Steve Baumgartner (17:10.936)
So that kingdom of service covers three critical areas. The first is family.

We provide as men leadership to our families.

Family is the domestic church. It is the example for everything else in society, and we have been chosen to lead there.

Steve Baumgartner (17:43.032)
So in that first area, that first battlefield of family, we need to learn how to lead and love our wife and children fully.

We also lead in our work. This one's the obvious one. But we need to look at it more as a servant rather than a command and control.

Steve Baumgartner (18:10.946)
We need to serve our mission. We need to serve our team and we need to serve our clients. And I'm also going to go a step further and work. This is also about what we do out in society. How do we serve out in society? Do we serve scouts for our children, 4-H, whatever? Do we serve as a government official? How do we serve with

the work that we do, not just in the workplace, but out in society. And then the third, and this one always blows everybody's mind, but it's finances. Guys, I don't know why this is so hard to understand for people. Probably because we say money is the root of all evil. But that's not what the Bible says. The Bible says the love of money is the root of all evil.

So when I talk about finances, what I'm talking about is making sure that you're a good steward of the resources that God has given you through your talents so that you can bluff others with those.

And the third kingdom, and I'm not going to go way deep into the third kingdom right now because it takes a while to get there. But it's the kingdom of legacy.

Steve Baumgartner (19:40.766)
This is where you move beyond survival.

beyond success and truly into significance as a man.

Every man is called to leave a mark on society.

to impact eternity. There's a reason. There is an absolute reason.

that God doesn't allow us to take this world into the next world.

Steve Baumgartner (20:16.898)
He strips us of all that.

And my belief is, is that it's because we leave it here for others.

Steve Baumgartner (20:30.306)
So legacy is about answering the question, why did God put me here?

Steve Baumgartner (20:37.688)
And this isn't something that you can drift into. This isn't something that you can manipulate. You have to be forged in leadership of self, the temple. You have to be forged in the leadership of service.

Steve Baumgartner (20:58.966)
And throughout all of this, as you're connecting with God more, you're connecting with yourself more, you're connecting with your purpose and your family and work and everything else.

Steve Baumgartner (21:14.178)
God will open the doors. He will absolutely open the doors for you to not drift into legacy, but to drive into your legacy.

The service that excuse me, the temple, the service, the legacy, three kingdoms, one mission.

That mission is to become the masculine leader that God has designed you to be.

All right, let's talk about the changes that are gonna be happening.

Here's where we're going with the Fire Forge Leader podcast. We're gonna be stronger. We're gonna be sharper and we're gonna have unapologetic content. This content is gonna be focused on building the three kingdoms. The kingdom of the temple, the kingdom of service and the kingdom of legacy.

Steve Baumgartner (22:25.772)
gonna be a focus on men.

God has called me specifically to men right now.

And that's who I'm gonna be speaking to. That's who I'm speaking to right now. Now, if you're a woman, if you're a woman listening, stay, listen.

not saying that you have to leave.

Steve Baumgartner (22:56.024)
This podcast will still help you understand your sons, help you understand your husbands or your fathers better.

Steve Baumgartner (23:08.736)
And let's face it, women, you're a pillar for these men.

and you reap them in ways that the world can never reach these men.

Steve Baumgartner (23:26.07)
I want you to stay. I want you to help these men. I want you to be a pillar for these men in the ways that are right.

Steve Baumgartner (23:38.742)
And there might be a name change to the podcast later. But for now, Fire Forge Leader remains. And the mission remains to forge men into the masculine leaders that God designed them to be.

This is a new season of the show. This is a line in the sand.

Now if you're ready to start rebuilding your kingdoms.

You can take what you heard today and start swinging your sword. You know what it takes. It takes using your body as a temple, fixing your mindset.

building into your spirituality. Those three things, there are plenty of things that you can read, look up, research.

Steve Baumgartner (24:41.696)
and put together what you hear on this show. You also need to lean into service. And then finally, your legacy that God's calling you to. But if you want more, if you want the tools, the brotherhood and the proven plan that will forge your life,

And here's a couple of ways that you can step forward into that. First is the Slain Dragons newsletter. This is free newsletter. It's called Slain Dragons, as I mentioned. And this is where I drop strategies, encouragement and updates on everything that we're building or have built.

This is also where I update what's coming up on this podcast.

Second thing is the Forge Leader Blueprint. And I've mentioned this a couple of times, but it's my 12-week hybrid group coaching. Now, if you're ready for intense guided transformation, the blueprint is gonna work for you. And here we'll define your personal virtues. You're gonna destroy your limiting beliefs, and you're gonna build your temple.

and kingdom of service.

Steve Baumgartner (26:11.308)
Guys, the results have been huge so far with the men who have gone through this program. We have men losing tremendous amounts of weight, men coming off medication for blood pressure, and all sorts of other things. Men who are restoring their families.

And most importantly, every man has increased in the connection that he has with Almighty.

Then the third way is the Knights Order. And this is a platform that we just opened.

If you prefer a more self-driven path, the Knights Order is for you. They're the same tools as a blueprint, the same resources.

but they have a long-term brotherhood. They have accountability. We have virtual gatherings. In the future, we're going to have gatherings in person. And the best part?

Steve Baumgartner (27:18.954)
If you complete the 12 week Forge Leader Blueprint, you're going to receive three free months into the Knights Order. Now, if you start in the Knights Order, you'll also get a special discount if you decide you wanted to do the Forge Leader Blueprint.

Steve Baumgartner (27:44.162)
Brother, I want to tell you this right now. The war for your soul, for your family, and for your future, it's already started. It's already started.

The only question at this moment in your life, because you can't go and change anything that's already happened, the question now is, are you gonna fight?

Are you gonna fold?

Steve Baumgartner (28:17.462)
All the links are in the show notes below. I'll see you inside.

Steve Baumgartner (28:26.242)
You have just experienced the heat and pressure of the forge. Remember, words without action are meaningless. Now, after the heat of the forge, shape your thoughts, quench your brain, then put your new tools to use, adding to your leadership. Tune in next week for more lessons from the forge.