Takeways From Tunisia

In this episode, Hardin and Sinay discuss their takeaways from the interview with Tunisia Offray.

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Transcript

Jason Hardin  0:04  
Good day everyone. This is Jason Hardin and welcome to another episode of life of a boss podcast. We have a very special episode today because I have the love of my life in the building. Ms. Suzu Sinay. hi miss Suzu. Hello, Jason. It's so amazing to be here for the very first time ever in my life in the world. I love that. We just popped her podcast cherry, y'all right here on air. And anyway, we have a great episode because we are going to unpack what we learned in the interview of Tunisia. Offray. So basically this is a takeaway issue from Tunisias interview and we got a lot of great points on she gave a lot of great gems. And we're actually going to talk about those and I guess a little more detail a little more depth. And to start us off, we have Suzu Sinay, what is the first of our five takeaways from Tunisia? Offray's interview,  Suzu. So number one, I actually wanted to just acknowledge that I really appreciated that, Jason, that you were brave enough to be vulnerable, you know, to share your experience with Tunisia with shepherds door. And, and her mom Linda? Yeah, I thought that was very courageous. Oh, thank you. And I appreciate that she's coming from my girlfriend now. It means a lot, you know, because it was, you know, involved my past relationship and how toxic it was and the the drama that I went through. So it's not always easy to talk about. But it's not helpful to not talk about it. So I am thankful for Suzu for always being open to hearing me air my grievances about so many different things. And I'm very appreciative of shepherds door for the way they receive male victims in the same way that they receive female victims because there are no gender lines when it comes to domestic violence. What else do you have? Okay, let's moving on. So number two, I loved how she used her transformation from being a victim to becoming a survivor. As an example, turning a problem into a solution Yes, one that you know she uses to help others so it's her kind of find her solution to her own problem. But beyond that, she was also able to take it further and be able to help others find the solutions to their problems.

Unknown Speaker  2:34  
And that's important because one of our episodes, just like in our book, we discuss how to turn problems into solutions. We discussed that solutions and opportunities are born from problems

Suzu Sinay  2:50  
and you actually have a podcast problem is equal success which kind of targets in on that as well so you have to go back and listen to that when problems equal success that's a great episode

Unknown Speaker  2:58  
absolutely you have a better memory than I do. She was correcting me in a nice way I love that I love that but um but that's it man it's just I appreciate how she turned what she went through into an opportunity and with thanks to her mother because they are able to help so many people now so many people now from that one issue well well she had you know a few bad relationships but from that from her one person experience she was able to help so many and I think that's just incredible.

Unknown Speaker  3:29  
It is Yeah, okay we're moving on again

Unknown Speaker  3:31  
moving on point number three takeaways with Tunisia Offray.

Unknown Speaker  3:36  
 Thank you very much. So she talked about the difficulty victims of abuse have processing and healing from events in their lives and in their feelings that accompany you know traumatic events you know, and also that we have a tendency to attract people like ourselves which basically means we attract people who also have problems processing and healing you know, absolutely we're surrounded with people that might teach us the wrong ways to process and heal or maybe tell us to deny ourselves to process heal maybe just hide it don't talk about it. So it's hard to really learn to process you know, for years or maybe a whole lifetime you know.

Jason Hardin  4:16  
Yeah and I don't know if you are aware but a lot of families are dealing with unresolved issues and primarily unresolved trauma and I don't know if you guys are aware but there's a lot of secrets and a lot of families and I don't know about y'all family but we don't like secrets you know we're the type of family will air that shit real quick you know if there's a problem with anybody if there's some some type of issue we pretty much try to bring it up you know and they've taught

Unknown Speaker  4:45  
you healthy relationships with yourself Yeah, I want to hold you accountable I want to make you responsible then yeah, you have probably learned some of those lessons growing

Unknown Speaker  4:53  
up Yeah, some of them you know, but but we pick them up from where we're, you know, from from our different experiences, but that's like in my household. We will He tried to address things, you know, for the most part, I mean, whether we can solve them or not, that's a different issue, but at least we bring them up. And that's where it starts. It starts with that communication. And what was that other point that you said? And point number three? I'm just healing. Oh, that's what I want to say. And yeah, she touched on healing. But she said that most people one from the emotions that come with the healing process. Yeah. And that's why a lot of people don't heal from some unresolved trauma because they're not willing to deal with the emotions. What do you think about that?

Unknown Speaker  5:38  
I think people just don't learn the right coping skills. I've learned a lot about coping skills. As I've learned, I've had a lot of experience running away from feeling, you know, not knowing really, that I was running away from feeling and the ways that I coped, I didn't know they were unhealthy coping skills, and then I learned you know, how to cope healthy, you know, healthy way. Exactly.

Unknown Speaker  5:58  
Yeah. Yeah. coping, is it? And just what you said about having the, the right people around you, you know, the wide support group? Yeah, that is really what it takes to overcome a problem that's bigger than you, you know, because we're not expected to deal with everything. Oh, no, you know, but but you, you also not expected to succeed and properly process information or situation with negative people around you. You know, I have an example of that a gentleman by the name of skip Townsend gave to me about to homeys name a little smoker and baby shooter, you know, and when you have a problem was and you take it to your homie, low smoker, what are you going to do? Man, smoke one. You know, you take it to baby shooter, what are you gonna say, let's go get him, you know, so. So those were very understandable responses from his friends, and they really cared for him. But they aren't qualified to help him process things in a healthy manner. And that's what we have to understand that not everybody we love or care about, or not everybody loves and cares about us, are qualified, properly qualified to help help us deal with things in a healthy manner. And that's when we have to search for that, that connection. Externally, that's when we have to call that hotline or we have to go in and speak to a professional and get some therapy. What do you think about that?

Unknown Speaker  7:21  
Yeah, I think I was going to professional help. Yeah, that was good. You know, if you're not sure, if you're not, you know, you don't trust you don't trust a circle around you, you know, or they've always been giving you the same advice. And you, you know, you go to the same people, you go to somebody that's formally trained. Yeah, I would trust somebody like that. You know, if, if I've gone down other avenues, you know, tried to rely on other friends and I'm not, you know, getting the type of response or I'm getting the same response. Yeah. And

Unknown Speaker  7:48  
you're not, you're not solving your problem. Yeah. Cuz usually folks that have that unsupportive system that they keep going to keep having to go to them, because they don't solve that issue. Okay, what's next? All right. Next,

Unknown Speaker  7:58  
she mentioned that she wanted to work for herself. Because, you know, working for herself meant that gave her power determined to determine her worth, you know, I and instead of, like, we saw her employer, somebody who works with instead of them determining her worth, you know, she could determine her own worth, because I kind of felt like that was like her being in an abusive relationship. Yeah, it was power to somebody else to really determine her own worth. Yeah, instead of it, you know, being you know, her relying on herself. So I thought that was just kind of interesting how she said that she did, she wanted to work for herself, instead of somebody else determining her worth,

Unknown Speaker  8:35  
I like that. Yeah. And it also brings up a point that we make several times, and that's how you do anything, is how you do everything. And it just goes to show that once she solved her issue, and in relationship problems that she was having, she solved a lot of other issues, you know, what I'm saying? And that's the cool thing about knowing yourself, and, and having a great relationship with yourself is that you start to be able to process different issues and different experiences in a healthy way, you know, because, like, you, there's no manual to success. There's no manual to life you know, but once you have a formula, a successful formula for dealing with things, you can almost apply that a formula to everything. So I love the fact that you kind of referenced that and put those together her her relationships were weren't healthy, but also her relationship with her employers weren't healthy you know, and once she discovered her worth and started valuing herself, she freed herself from both

Unknown Speaker  9:40  
are able to apply to different parts of her life. Absolutely. If she hadn't, you know, learned it in one area, she may have not been able to apply to another area

Unknown Speaker  9:47  
and that's the beauty. Personal Development, you know, that's the beauty of fixing you. That's the beauty of healing because once you heal yourself, you can do all things better. Yeah, you know I love it. I love it. What's next?

Unknown Speaker  10:01  
All right, fifth and final takeaway are what I call her four keys to success.

Unknown Speaker  10:08  
Oh, so we're starting with a number we're starting all over.

Unknown Speaker  10:11  
She may not agree with this. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker  10:14  
These words in your mouth Tunisia,

Unknown Speaker  10:16  
I'm sorry. But this is what I this is what I saw her keys to success where she really figured out her priorities. You know, she wanted to spend more time with her kids, you wanted to be a good mother, you know, she wanted to have the freedom she want to be under, you know, anybody else working for them? Yeah. And that was her first key, right? She had to figure out her values and what her priorities were next, she really applied her skills. You know, yeah, she's been Yes, yeah, she, she honed in on that she, you know, acknowledge them. And then she put herself around the right people, you know, she found people that were going to really advocate that we're going to support her. Yeah, that really kind of helped or gave you that little boost, you know, gave me that little boost to help her get to that next level. And then the fourth and final key to her success, which is very important. Is she took action.

Unknown Speaker  11:07  
That absolutely correct. And I think that that's, I'm not gonna say that overshadows on the other points. But that's really what it takes to change. Is that action? I mean, we could read the right answer, we can get all the best advice from all the experts. But until we're willing to take action and apply what we know, is right, or better than what we what we knew before. We'll always be in the same position. Yeah, yeah. So I for one, appreciate Tunisia, you know, and, and the game that she gave us, because it does coincide with everything that this podcast is about in regards to personal development in regards to choosing your own definition of success in regards to take an action and, and doing all the right things and applying those things, not just learning about them. So it was really a textbook great interview. Yeah, it was, I love

Unknown Speaker  11:57  
my listen to it. Yeah, we were doing the takeaways. And you got to say the second time, it was almost like I didn't hear it the first time. A big impression the second time.

Unknown Speaker  12:06  
And that's good, because I love having you on the shows. Because you give that fresh perspective on the show, you know, on and for those that don't know, Susan is not just my woman, she is the Associate Producer of Life Of A Boss the podcast, she helps me create the content, she helps me record. And she is very hands on, on every aspect of the show. So to get her feedback on some of these, some of these interviews and some of the episodes is incredible, especially on air.

Unknown Speaker  12:38  
Oh, it was such a pleasure. This was the first time but I hope I get to come back. I hope you'll have me back. Oh, well,

Unknown Speaker  12:45  
I will I will invite you back on my show our show. So um, but yeah, I just wanted to congratulate you and all that you've done, you know, and and I appreciate everything you do for the show. And thank you for your feedback on such a powerful interview.

Unknown Speaker  13:03  
Well, thank you. Thank you, Jason. Oh, I love being a part of life of a boss the podcast

Unknown Speaker  13:09  
and we love having you. But anyway, that was our show today and we hope that you guys took something powerful away It doesn't have to be exact same thing that we took, but listen to these episodes and whatever you gain from it. Use Alright, alright Until the next episode, remember the success is the lifestyle man. I love y'all stay up, check out the website lifeofaboss.net check us out on Apple podcasts on Spotify on amazon music and everywhere you find podcasts. Listen, rate, subscribe, leave a review, share, like and all that good stuff. I love y'all. Peace.