256. Quiet Faithfulness - What If We Have "Impact" All Wrong? A Conversation with Gramma Rose

When I sat down to record this conversation with my grandma, I thought we were going to talk about being present with people and creating a home marked by hospitality. And while we absolutely talk about those things, this conversation became so much more than I expected.

As we talked, I realized this episode is really about living an intentional life that chases after the heart of Jesus. It's about faithfully saying "yes" to the people, opportunities, and moments God places right in front of us every single day.

Our culture constantly tells us that if we want to make an impact, we need to think bigger, do more, build a platform, or make our lives louder. But this conversation reminded me that God's Kingdom often works in the exact opposite way. The greatest impact is often found in quiet faithfulness.

My grandma has spent her life living with open hands, an open home, and an open heart. She shares wisdom about hospitality, obedience, generosity, and what it looks like to trust God with the ordinary moments of life. Her story is a beautiful reminder that when we're faithful in the small things, God is faithful to use them for a much bigger purpose than we could ever imagine.

I walked away from this conversation encouraged, challenged, and inspired, and I truly believe you will too.

In this episode, we talk about:

• What biblical hospitality really looks like
• Living an intentional life centered on Jesus
• Why faithfulness matters more than recognition
• Finding purpose in the everyday moments
• The eternal impact of simple obedience
• Wisdom from a life well lived
• Trusting God to multiply our ordinary "yeses"

If this episode encourages you, I'd love for you to share it with a friend, leave a review, or send it to someone who needs the reminder that God often does His greatest work through our everyday faithfulness.

Transcript

Waking Up With Gratitude

SPEAKER_05 0:00

Yeah. When you wake up, you thank God for another day. And what does he want you to do today?

SPEAKER_03 0:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 0:06

And if you have to get up a little bit earlier to have your devotion time, your quiet time, whatever you want to call it, and ask him to show you what it is that he has for you to do that day. You want to do everything and leave God out of it. Yeah. It's kind of like the once once a week you go to church. Yeah. For most people, that's enough. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 0:26

So it's if you're seeking him truly, he will give you the conviction to make changes if changes are needed.

unknown 0:32

Right.

SPEAKER_00 0:33

We are at war. And it's not against our neighbors, spouses, children, politicians, or whatever else we feel like we're battling against.

SPEAKER_02 0:40

So the questions are: who's the fight against? And are we winning or losing? We're the Adkins, and we are a force to be reckoned with.

SPEAKER_03 0:49

Are you ready to join the force?

Why This Talk Went Deeper

SPEAKER_02 0:58

Hey guys, I'm just getting ready to put this episode out today. Sitting in my kitchen, so you might even hear the dishwasher running in the background. I'm recording this from the voice memos of my phone, but just felt like I wanted to add this little blurb before today's episode. So before we jump into today's episode, I wanted to share something with you. Um when I sat down to record this conversation with my grandma, I thought we were going to talk about being present with people and creating a home that is full of hospitality. And while we absolutely touch on those things, this conversation really became so much more than I expected. I even played it back yesterday, just listening through. And the more I listen to it, the more I am getting from it. But as we talked, I realized this wasn't just a conversation about hospitality. It was a conversation about living a life that is fully surrendered to Jesus. It's about choosing faithfulness in the ordinary, saying yes to the opportunities that God places right in front of you, and trusting that obedience in the small things is never wasted. I think that our culture constantly tells us that if we want to make an impact, we have to think bigger, we have to do more, we have to build a platform, we have to make our lives louder. But this conversation is just such a beautiful reminder that God's kingdom often works in the exact opposite way. And really, as I reflect back on this conversation, I'm just reminded of why I wanted to share an interview with my grandma Rose in the first place. Because every time I sit down with her or my grandfather or, you know, my trusted mentors in my life, I'm reminded of these things. And it feels like a cheat code in life that I just want to share with you guys. That real impact doesn't always happen on a stage. Sometimes it happens around a dinner table. It happens through opening your home. It happens through noticing the person who's hurting, making time for someone who needs encouragement, praying with a friend, or simply saying yes to whatever God has placed in front of you today. My grandma has lived this way for decades, and the fruit of her life speaks for itself. And I know you guys are gonna hear that in this episode. The wisdom she shares is not just something she believes, it's something she has truly, truly lived. And I just want to encourage you to listen to her words as she talks. And um, just at a bird's eye view, sometimes hearing these conversations from people um in older generations, we dismiss them. But there is truly so much wisdom in sitting down with our parents, with our grandparents, and chewing on the stuff that they're sharing with us. I genuinely believe that there's so much more to learn from this conversation. And I found myself just taking mental notes the entire time we recorded it and as I re-listened to it. So my prayer is that this episode encourages you to slow down, to live intentionally, to chase after the heart of Jesus, and to remember that your faithfulness today may have an eternal impact that you can't even see yet. And at the core of our podcast, when we do these small, faithful things day in and day out, that it what is what makes us a force to be reckoned with. So I hope that you enjoy this conversation as much as I did. And I want to encourage you if you listen to this episode and there are things that you want to ask Grima Rose or just thoughts that you had as this episode came um through your speakers, send them as a text. You can click the link in our show notes, you can text it, and I get the message in our um podcast platform because I um yeah, I'm just encouraged and I want to share more of these episodes, and I want to encourage you guys to sit down with people in your life and just make time and space for conversations like these.

Meeting Grandma Rose

SPEAKER_02 5:04

Hello, everybody. Welcome back to another week of A Force to Be Reckoned With. I'm here with a local celebrity, somebody who I've been trying to get on the podcast for what's it, what's it been over a year?

unknown 5:15

At least.

SPEAKER_02 5:15

But you're a hard lady to get a hold of. I'm here with my grandma Rose. And if you've had the privilege of meeting her in real life, then you're a very lucky person because she's a great, great woman. Welcome. I don't have a voice this week. I don't know why I'm not sick, just no voice, but we're gonna do this anyway.

SPEAKER_05 5:33

She yells at the kids too much.

SPEAKER_02 5:35

That's another episode, Graham. I'm sorry. Got it. Well, anyway, I have mentioned on our episodes how like probably four or five. I'm gonna get my grandmon. I'm gonna get my grandma on. So I'm really glad that you're here today. So grandma Rose is my mom's mom, my maternal grandmother. She is should I let you introduce yourself? I'm gonna tell you a little background and then you can start telling about your upbringing. She is married to talk about my upbringing? Maybe a little bit. She's married, it explains a lot about instability. No, she's married to Pap Larry Rose, who's a pastor in East Liverpool, Ohio. He was 38 years at the church. At the church. And he's been retired for how long from his full-time job? At least 20. 2003. Yeah, so 26 years. Time goes fast, right? So yeah, three kids, yes, three biological kids that we know of. Yes, yes. But you've done you guys did foster care. Yes. And go ahead.

SPEAKER_05 6:34

We had two legal guardian children that we were going to adopt, but they turned of age the time, so they just went out on their own. John went into the Air Force and Susan went to dental school and got married. Yeah. We did have eleven foster children. That's crazy. But not all at once. No. Over there in one bathroom. In one bathroom. One bathroom. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 6:58

Was there a lot of fighting in your house?

SPEAKER_05 7:00

No. There wasn't?

unknown 7:01

No.

SPEAKER_05 7:01

Is that true? That's true. The only fighting that there was was one time because we had John and he had a room all to himself and he missed his time slot in the bathroom. And he was beating on the door. That was the last time he beat on the door, especially for missing his time in the bathroom. So they had time slots. That's how you avoided it. Unless you were sick. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. One bathroom. I mean, you gotta do what you gotta do, I guess.

unknown 7:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 7:26

Okay, so So Pap would go down just about every Sunday to Lawson's little store on the corner, and one of the girls would need a pair of pantyhose. And they thought Pap was a little bit strange because one day he'd went and he'd get a super tall because uh Susan was five eleven. And the next one was a little bit shorter, and the next one was shorter, and yeah, so that is kind of creepy.

SPEAKER_02 7:47

Kind of creepy. It is kind of creepy.

SPEAKER_05 7:49

Yeah. But he's not creepy.

SPEAKER_02 7:50

No, he's not creepy at all. He's probably the least creepy guy I know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 7:55

So he put up with me. That is true.

SPEAKER_02 7:59

Patience of Job. Yeah. Sure. Well, okay, we're on here today because I you have you're well, you're an incredible person, but you have some very special gifts that have greatly impacted me as just a person and especially now as a mom. And it's I want to share those because I know you're not a regular listener of the podcast, but that's sometimes even more helpful because what we're we're a young family, kind of young. Corey's gonna be 40 soon. Can you believe that? But we're in the thick of raising up 17. Yeah, I'm still 17. We are in the thick of raising up the next generation. And we, you know, at the start of our podcast, our podcast intro says we are at war, but it's not against our neighbors, our spouses, whoever. It's against flesh and blood. It's against, you know, the enemy, the real enemy. And so it's hard raising a family in these times. And look, and culture is so different than it, it's just getting it's I don't know if it's it's it's I don't want to say it's worse, because I know you would say that it's not in some ways.

SPEAKER_05 9:07

But it's we used to say that uh Satan was very subtle his ways that he's after families, but he's not very subtle anymore. He's right in our faces every day, every day.

SPEAKER_02 9:19

Yeah, very, very but the whole point is it's easy to just look at all the chaos in the world and dismiss it and just say, Oh, we're ready for Jesus to come back. And that's true, but also there's some really good families and good people who are fighting to, while we're here, continue to disciple and continue to raise up good Christian leaders and people. And so that's what the point of the podcast is is to bring on wiser people and to talk through struggles.

SPEAKER_05 9:46

One of the only wiser now because I've been

The Real War And Daily Prayer

SPEAKER_05 9:50

saved for so long and you're still learning what the Bible has to say. Still at your age, are you still learning what the Bible has to say? Absolutely, every day. Yeah. And how more than learning it is applying it, learning how to apply that in your life. Well, I have two favorite scriptures. One is from when I became a Christian. At 35 years old, it was to trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding in all your ways. Acknowledge him, he'll direct your path.

unknown 10:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 10:17

And my Proverbs 3, 5, and 6, right? Very good. I think I learned that from you. And my second favorite scripture is Joel 225, because you cannot undo the past, but God heals and restores the years that we wasted away. And I wasted away a lot of years.

SPEAKER_02 10:36

Yeah. Which I wanted to I want to hear about all your wasted years. No, I'm just kidding. But I do want to talk about your upbringing. But just to wrap up what I was saying is specifically on this episode, I look at my world, like my life as a mom and so much of the things that I when I'm like trying to self-correct. For example, like if I'm well, we'll get into it, but just I want to talk about hospitality and your gift of like radical presence with whoever's in front of you. Absolutely. So we're gonna dive into that today. But before we, because it's something that's lacking in this world of like go, go, go, go, go. Everybody just move it on to the next, moving on to the next. And so I want to, there's like some very practical things that you do that are so special and meaningful that you probably don't even realize. And then also just a lot of other stuff. So we're gonna have to, we're gonna have to cover a lot. We'll be quick.

SPEAKER_05 11:26

First of all, you have to like people.

SPEAKER_02 11:28

Do you though?

SPEAKER_05 11:29

You have to like all kinds of people.

SPEAKER_02 11:30

But let's say there's somebody listening right now and they're like, yeah, but I don't like people and I'm not a people person. What would you say to that person? But they're a Christian.

SPEAKER_05 11:38

They claim to be a Christian, but they're loving people. Absolutely unconditionally, just like he loves us. Yeah. You don't know how people grew up, you don't know what made them that way. I used to think about that with my with my own person that she was, and that's what kept me going. I know what made me kind of person I am, but I don't know how other people are made. Yeah I mean, and how you can how you can reach them and talk and and you bathe everything. You bathe everything in prayer. If God's gonna put people in your life, it's for a reason. It is for a reason.

SPEAKER_02 12:14

You know, I know one of the most annoying things that you've said to me in my whole life when I'm complaining and griping, well, have you prayed about it? But I will say, because of that, since I can remember, and I spent many, many days of my childhood at your house because I had terrible parents. No, and no, because they let us come there because you were it was a great place to be and a fun place. I my prayer life has been so impacted by that because of hearing you say and Pap say, pray without ceasing, pray without ceasing. Have you prayed about it? And it's annoying. I don't want to hear it when I just want to complain. But because of that, like when I tell people I am praying for them, I really do because I do pray without ceasing. So anyway.

SPEAKER_05 12:57

Most people wait till something's going on. There's a catastrophe, there's something that's happening. Now we want to pray. How about the rest of the time when life is just moving along? You know, thanking him. One of the things I've learned through the years is you wake up in the morning. You wake up. That doesn't happen. Right. Pap has his brother that died in his sleep, a guy at our church died in his sleep. You think you're gonna wake up. Somebody just said that to me at church the other day. I said, Well, how are you doing? And he said, I'm doing pretty good. I said, Well, you know, we only get one day. I said, Yeah, we do. We only get one day. And he said, You don't always get one day.

SPEAKER_02 13:33

That's so true.

SPEAKER_05 13:33

And the Lord keeps showing you that through people that you meet and people that you know. You have today.

SPEAKER_02 13:40

It is hard to frame the days as a gift, but I think the more that you see tragedy in other people's lives and the more that you experience tragedy. Like I know one for me too was my dad and all that he went through with his health stuff, and thinking like he might never meet Maya, because I was pregnant with Maya at the time, and then McKenna, and just truly realizing that life every day is a gift.

SPEAKER_05 14:00

And that's not a fear. Yeah. That's not a fear, that's the reality.

SPEAKER_02 14:03

So you were raised in a good Christian home, and you were a Christian ever since you can remember, and you've had a perfect life, and that's why you are the way you are, right? Tell me about a little bit about your

A Hard Childhood And Forgiveness

SPEAKER_02 14:15

how how long is that?

SPEAKER_05 14:16

I know.

SPEAKER_02 14:17

We're already 12 minutes in and we haven't even touched the subject.

SPEAKER_05 14:20

Okay, we need to do another one.

SPEAKER_02 14:22

We could.

SPEAKER_05 14:23

There's no how long are your podcasts?

SPEAKER_02 14:25

They're usually like 40 minutes. I know. We have a lot to cover.

SPEAKER_05 14:30

Well, we can always have you back, but I here's I don't want to my parents, first of all, Herschel was not my father. Everybody knows that. Okay, I don't know who my father is, and I'm okay with that. I'm not gonna waste my life trying to look for somebody that I never, ever, ever knew. You know, and Herschel was always in my life. But here's what I realized. Last Thanksgiving.

SPEAKER_02 14:52

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_05 14:52

Last Thanksgiving.

SPEAKER_02 14:53

Herschel was not a good father. So Herschel is who raised you? Father's husband. Or lack thereof, yeah. Yeah. He was there. When did you find out that he wasn't your father? Are you always new?

SPEAKER_05 15:02

No, I didn't know. I was 18 or 19 years old when I went to get married. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:07

And you didn't you even thought he was your dad then?

SPEAKER_05 15:09

Yeah. He was he ra he was my dad. Yeah. Okay. So anyhow, at Thanksgiving, I can remember saying at the end, I don't know if you remember this, Bailey and Garrett had a foster kid. And everybody, I wanted everybody to say something different than normal. Thank you for my family. Thank you for my family.

SPEAKER_02 15:26

I'm scooting up a little bit because I'm worried it's not gonna pick you up. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 15:29

Anyone scoot the chair up? No, I'm okay. So I said, I wanted to be last. I wanted to be last because Herschel was there. He was an alcoholic, he was abusive to me.

SPEAKER_02 15:40

He wasn't at Thanksgiving.

SPEAKER_05 15:41

No, no, no. I was talking about him at Thanksgiving. I'm sorry. But here's what I remembered. He would sing songs. He played a guitar, he was a musician, he would sing songs and it would be so happy. It was happy to hear him not fighting or swearing or I don't know if he was in I said inebriated to my younger brother one time and he said, What's that? And I said, That's drunk. But he was there. So I didn't want to paint a horrible, horrible picture of him. That's all he knew. Now I'm going back to you don't know how he was raised. Right. You know what I mean? But I know this. The night before he died, he was in a veterans hospital. He came home. He was staying with Pap and I, and he had given his life to the Lord in the VA hospital. Okay. And there's no doubt in my mind it was real. We sat on the back porch where we lived at, and he apologized to me for everything that he had done. And I said, I'm okay. And he said, No, I need to ask you to forgive me. And I said, I did a long time ago. I just never held grudges or anything. And you were saved at that point? No. You aren't? No. But that was the beginning of it. He died in 1976. I got saved in 1980. And my comment to God was, Why didn't you take him when he was a creep and abusing me? Why didn't you take him then? And I have to go all these years forward now because out of all of the foster girls that we had, 11 of those 13 girls had been sexually abused by somebody.

SPEAKER_04 17:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 17:11

And God's word says people meant it for evil. But God uses it for his glory. But that's part of my job.

SPEAKER_02 17:20

So what you're saying is you were angry and thought, why didn't he die in a car accident as an alcoholic? Because he would have died and went to hell.

SPEAKER_05 17:29

Yeah. Okay. And as a Christian, I'm thankful that he I used to say I was mad at God for four years.

SPEAKER_03 17:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 17:35

Because you didn't take him when he was a creed. You waited till he turned into a nice guy. Why didn't you let him be a nice guy? But as I got when I got saved, then I understood and read the Bible more. Like I said, what man meant for evil, God used it for his glory.

SPEAKER_03 17:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 17:50

Here I am all these years later. And it never clicked until I was talking to one foster child that day in the living room. And I said, you know, God's word says, I'm here and I'm doing this and I'm talking to you because people meant it for evil, but God is using it even for his good. So that's how that works. That's how he works. It's his timing.

SPEAKER_02 18:12

It's I I've never been angry and bitter. And it's not that God that's what he wants, but that is he'll he can take horrible, horrible things and use them for his glory and to bring people closer to him. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's really good. Okay, so when did you just real quick, when did you get saved? When did you meet Pap? All of that. So you had a rough upbringing. You got you were married, not to Pap. Ten years. You were married for 10 years. And then what you he someone was talking to him at work.

SPEAKER_05 18:44

He had a your husband on Pap where Pap worked at. He was the safety director down at the plant. Pop said something to him like, What are you fishing for? And he said, I think I just found him. So he started talking to Pap about the Lord. At the same time, this was 1979. And we had a big customized van. Ordered it new. So you're married to Pat. I'm married to Pap, yeah. 1970 we got married. And we were having problems with the tires. Okay, so I kept taking it back to the garage. And the guy said, try these ones out. And I take it back. Anyhow, so finally the guy said, Well, we found out what the problem is, and it's going to be $500 to fix it. And I said, You told me $250. And he said, Well, there's a little bit more to it. So, anyhow, we got back down to where the place was. The owner comes over and said, Could this problem that you fixed had a bad part in it? And the guy said, Yes. And I have to tell you this. Okay. He said, It could have caused more of the problem. He said, Well, okay, then you're going to fix the van. So this kid, this 18-year-old kid that worked at Kmart Auto, which they don't even have anymore. Right. He had a little pin on. It was a little cross with a heart on it. And it was upside down. And I said, Your little that little pin is upside down. I said, Your little pin's upside down. He said, I know. He said, That's how my life was before Christ came into it. An 18-year-old kid. And he gave me a track. He gave me this thing. I didn't know what it was. And he said, You need to take this home and read it. And the track was, if Jesus came to your house, would you do the things you do? Would you say the things you say? Would you read the things you read? Would you watch the things you watch? The whole thing. And I'm like, we weren't bad people.

SPEAKER_03 20:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 20:26

We weren't out doing drugs. We weren't cheating on each other. We just were raising our family. But you were just living a comfortable life. Yeah, just a good life. Yeah. Anyhow, so Pap came home from work and he's telling me about the guys talking to him. And I'm telling him about the kid that did the car and they made it right and gave me this track. Well, that summer, um, Rochester High School had a film coming up there, and it was called A

How An 18-Year-Old Sparked Faith

SPEAKER_05 20:50

Thief in the Night. Have you ever seen a thief in the night? I never saw The Thief in the Night until that night. And it literally shook you to your course. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. And so we talked about it and we talked about it and talked about it. And that weekend we both asked Christ into our hearts and asked him to forgive us for everything that we had ever done. So that was the summer of 1980, July of 1980. And here we are all these years later. But anyhow, we started going to a little church because we lived in Rochester at the time. And uh went to this church. Now the the Holy Spirit obviously was still working on us and went to this church and um I said to Pap after it was over the next day, I went up and I said, He never talked about salvation or being saved or n nothing. And I said, I just I don't understand that. If that's for real, if this is all for real, why isn't he talking about it? So anyhow, the next day I went to the church to talk to the pastor. And I said, You don't preach salvation here. You don't tell people about Jesus. I said, Now this was in this movie. There was a pastor in this movie that was going to hell because he didn't do that. Okay. And so I said to this pastor, why don't you talk about that? And his statement was, if I did that in this church, I wouldn't have a job. And I said, I would not want to be you. I'm a brand new Christian. I would not want to be you standing before the Lord, knowing about salvation, and not telling anyone.

SPEAKER_03 22:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 22:18

Okay. And so I was like, I don't understand that. I don't understand. I just watched this movie two days ago or something, and it was still so fresh in my heart. Right. Anyhow. And so we had moved. We moved and I can remember going back up to Rochester because I was going to talk to that pastor again. And he wasn't there anymore. So whether they let him go or whether he decided to leave, I don't know. But it was an 18-year-old kid.

SPEAKER_02 22:44

That led you to Christ.

SPEAKER_05 22:45

That led me to Christ. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 22:47

That just speaks to the power of planting seeds and like how any you you're never that scripture, don't let it look let anyone look down on you because you're young. And then also I think the story about the pastor, that's so relevant today because we have so many churches preaching to the masses about what they want, what the congregation wants to hear. And really, we're in a state of crisis where people need to hear truth. And it doesn't matter who it upsets. Right. And it doesn't matter, you know, right what it does. Because if you're speaking truth, it's all really good. Okay. So fast forward, you have foster kids, you have three daughters.

unknown 23:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:27

My mom's one of those daughters. Now you have grandkids. She has seven kids. Your Aunt Jen has two. So you have nine grandkids. And how many great you have grandkids and great-grandkids now? How many do you have?

SPEAKER_05 23:39

Nine great-grandkids.

SPEAKER_02 23:40

You have so you have nine grandkids and nine great-grandkids. And I expect more. But it's not gonna be from me, Graham. Maybe bruh. Glenn Mallory for sure. Yeah. But yeah, so what what we're talking about today is hospitality. And I know downstairs before this, you were talking about tea parties and all of that, like memories of me growing up. I just remember we had tea parties. We had manners classes. And but more than any of that, I still to this day, like you created you and Pap. And I don't want this to just be for the women because I do think men have such a role to play in this too. To this day, you guys have, I could drop it, could be a Thursday at 4 p.m. And I would call and say, Hey, I I need to come down. And it might be inconvenient and you guys might have a lot on your plate, but I've never once in my life felt like there's not a place for me there, or like that it can't be a soft place to land, or that you guys, I've never felt unwanted. Like we could pull up in your driveway and Pap would be in the middle of mowing the grass, and he would sh shut off the tractor and come welcome us with open arms and not, hey, I'm in the middle of mowing. You know what I mean? Like you guys just have such a gift of that. And I know that not everybody has a personality. People need to have boundaries and are more introverted, but I'm talking more of the heart posture of you guys are always available to those who need it. And so I struggle with that sometimes, like as because we're so busy. I think it again, it goes back to this heart posture of if somebody comes up to the door and knocks, I want to sometimes my response is annoyed or irritated, where I'm sure sometimes you've felt like that in the moment, but you've never presented that way.

SPEAKER_05 25:23

I can remember one time a girl that I was talking with, and and one night she called and it was about 11 o'clock at night, and she was just at her wit's end, and she can't do this anymore. And so anyhow, I went up to the house in my pajamas, and I was talking to her, and I said, So when did this happen? When did this actually happen? She said, Oh, about two months ago. And I can remember reading and learning one time that somebody else's emergency isn't always an emergency. There's a difference. Okay. But my our house is open. He's a pastor. Yeah. He's a pastor. He's not just a preacher, he's a pastor. Our our life is an open book, and people can stop at any time. You've devoted your lives to that, like radical hospitality. Well, yeah, we'll just sit and talk and have coffee, maybe. Maybe, I don't know. We'll sit under a tree or on a swing or something.

SPEAKER_02 26:13

Yeah, you do. And when my uh But I don't work, I've never worked.

SPEAKER_05 26:17

Right. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 26:18

I So that's what I'm trying to sort through because right now we also in these times, most husbands and wives have to work to make it work.

SPEAKER_05 26:25

Well, and you think you want to compare yourself to other people. I think when I was 50 one time, I sat down with with Pap, excuse me, and I said, I think I need to get a job.

SPEAKER_03 26:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 26:35

I think I need to get a job. What do you need to get a job for? I I don't really know, but I just feel like every other woman I know has a job. I don't have a job. I've never worked since I got married.

SPEAKER_02 26:44

So And just

Opening Your Home With Margin

SPEAKER_02 26:45

to clarify though, you guys, it's not like Pap is a big wig at a and he has he was making millions of dollars. He had a very normal you guys have a very normal life and a very normal home. And you guys have just chose simple so that you can serve more. And that's more your heart posture is when I choose a simple life and I don't over-book myself or overcommit to things, then that leaves margin and space to serve people who need it. And I can just drop what I have because what I have, other people are more important than what I have.

SPEAKER_05 27:16

Right. Absolutely. So how what do we do to fix it? Without ceasing, I know that's but every opportunity that you can, you can talk to somebody, and when you realize what God's word has to say about our role and how we're to minister, he'll show you how to do things in your life to change, if need be, and to how to get someone else, not my standard, but his standard. And if it's causing issues in your marriage, you know what I mean, which a lot of times it does, then there would need to be some changes. You people don't pray together, husband and wife. That's a missing link. They don't have any devotion time together, they don't have any family devotion time together. They go to church, you know what I mean? But life for the most part just goes on normal. Right. You know, I believe it's a Sunday faith. Yeah, without having any of that. And that's that's where we are in today's society. Yeah. But a lot at the same time, a long time ago, because Pap and I talk about that a lot, you went to church on Sunday morning. There was no Sunday evening, there was no Wednesday. Yeah. I mean, but uh your focus was on you couldn't wait to get to church Sunday because you didn't see anybody the rest of the time. It's a different world.

SPEAKER_02 28:25

Right. You're on social media, you're seeing all these people. But with what I think that's a very good point with what you're saying is if you're at a place where you're feeling unrest or like what you're saying of I don't have time to do pray with my husband, or I don't have time to do devotionals, or I don't have time to do anything more than just show up for church on Sunday, and I don't have time to serve people because we're busy, then that right there is like a big red flag that's like you need to kind of re-evaluate. And that doesn't mean like not everybody is called to be home. Some women truly are called to work.

SPEAKER_05 28:57

Absolutely, absolutely, and but he's still a priority, he's number one. Yeah. When you wake up, you thank God for another day. And what does he want you to do today?

SPEAKER_03 29:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 29:08

And if you have to get up a little bit earlier to have your devotion time, your quiet time, whatever you want to call it, and ask him to show you what it is that he has for you to do that day. You you're like you want to do everything and leave God out of it. Yeah. It's kind of like the once once a week you go to church. Yeah. For most people, that's enough. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:28

So it's if you're seeking him truly, he will give you the conviction to make changes if changes are needed.

SPEAKER_05 29:34

Right.

unknown 29:34

Right.

SPEAKER_02 29:35

Okay. Moving on a little bit. So little things that I remember like when I think of you and Pap, waking up your bun. If you ever cut that bun off and have get old lady hair, I'm not gonna be okay with it. Okay. But waking up in the mornings and you guys sitting in your chairs in the in the living room. And drinking your coffee and eating jelly toast and reading your Bibles. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 29:58

But we've already done it separately.

SPEAKER_02 30:00

Yeah. Also. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 30:01

We have. I need my quiet timing, so to say. Okay. Absolutely. Sometimes I need to talk to the Lord about him. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:08

And sometimes so you talk to the Lord about your spouse before you talk to a friend about your spouse?

SPEAKER_05 30:14

Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because my spouse isn't the same as your spouse. How do you understand what's okay?

SPEAKER_02 30:23

Because that's I mean, that's that's that's the point. You go to Jesus first. You seek the Lord first.

SPEAKER_05 30:29

He has lots of books. He has l he has lots of scriptures on that. Yeah. If you read the whole book of Proverbs, it'll it'll tell you how we have.

SPEAKER_02 30:38

Yeah. I just wish I could put everything of you guys in a bottle and put it into an episode, but I can't. So I'm just gonna give these examples and then I want you to like just say what's on your heart of it. So like you guys just being in the word, that is something just in my mind. And something else, like something else is you're so truly present with people, which is something I struggle with. When people come over, I'm always in my head thinking, I gotta switch loads of laundry, I gotta do this, I gotta do that, which that's something I'm actively working on because that's not good. And people feel that. People feel when your head's in other places and you're not present. But yeah, so you're just very present and you pay attention. So just before this recording, you you're a big thrifter, which I love. Oh, I'm a big thrifter, but you do it with intention. Yeah, that's a cute shirt. So you were showing you were telling me something that Bailey, my sister, had said at a restaurant that you were at, and then you saw a plate for her and you picked it up. And it's just so thoughtful and intentional. Just, I don't know, there's just this gift of playing jacks with you on the floor. It was never it. I mean, we did go off and independently play, but a lot of times you were playing alongside us, we're playing jacks, we're going to the thrift store, and all throughout those days there were just little nuggets of things that you would say and repeat and teach us throughout the day. Did we yell at you? I'm sure, but I don't really remember the yellow.

SPEAKER_05 32:00

Love overpowered the yellow.

SPEAKER_02 32:02

Yes. Okay. Well, you are very stern. I am. You and that's justice. Yeah. And like when I first started dating Corey, he was like, Well, your grandma's like, she's loves kids and she likes kids, but she's pretty stern. But you have to be, and I think that's part of it. If you're gonna have kids over your house all the time, they need to know the rules and the bounds because it's not a circuit, any kids, or you'll lose your mind. Yeah, yeah. Any kids, yeah. You're not afraid to reprimand anything.

SPEAKER_05 32:27

I can remember kids coming over and having a shirt on, and I said you either have to take it off or turn it inside out. Yeah, because you're not wearing that hair.

SPEAKER_02 32:34

Yeah, and I think that kids yearn for that.

SPEAKER_05 32:38

That's a lost cause today. They don't respect authority like they still want their kids to be cool or within their Yeah, I know. I've never been part of the in-crowd, so I still wear my hair and a body tell. Okay, sorry.

SPEAKER_02 32:50

No, I love it. But you know, just presence, and I can just remember you guys would always have people over talking at night, and it in the midst of all that you guys were doing, it never felt chaotic or like hurried. It was like at a I hate to say it, but like at the pace, like in the Bible, when you're reading through the gospels,

Presence Over A Perfect House

SPEAKER_02 33:10

like at the pace that Jesus went, how he went with people and he was present with people, and then he moved on to the next thing. Like it never felt scurry along.

SPEAKER_05 33:17

We've always liked even before we were Christians, Pap and I liked people. I didn't grow up that way. He came from a normal family, but they didn't they didn't socialize a lot with other people. We didn't socialize with anybody. Okay, you ever see the movie The Greatest Christmas Pageant Ever in the Herdman Kids? That was us. But I've always liked people. But people would always talk to Pap and I then when we got saved, they don't need to hear what we have to say, they needed to hear what God's word has to say and how to talk to them, meet them where they were.

SPEAKER_02 33:49

So how did you do that? Like, was did you guys sit down and have this formal like this is our mission as a like what did that look like as your new believers?

SPEAKER_05 33:58

Were you just like we wanted to be we're just gonna invite people in accused of him and anybody that anybody that God put across our path? There, yeah, there. No, I don't have time for you today. Can you come back tomorrow? Yeah. Yeah. He's not either. Yeah. You know, like you said, he'll get off the mower and he'll he'll quit doing whatever he's doing. You know, I I do the same thing. I might be mopping the floor, but I'll quit in the middle of it. And then when you leave, the mop will still be there, so I'll finish the floor. Nobody else is gonna do it. I don't have it made. So I don't want to make she probably like me anyhow. So anyhow. We've always asked the Lord to put people in our life. A reason, not not for us, but to get his his word out there. People are it's rough times, it's a rough world. It's a people are lonely. Even people that are married, they're lonely with each other. They and you it's hard to get people to realize that. I talked to a woman last night and that's what she said, I don't really need anybody. Yeah, yeah, you do.

SPEAKER_03 34:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:00

So what would you say to the people out there, maybe a woman my age or a couple my age, or that's 35 almost that's listening and they're like, Yeah, I mean, actually we're lonely, and I don't host because I'm we have a junky house that I'm embarrassed of and I'm so busy I don't even I wouldn't even know where to begin.

SPEAKER_05 35:20

I guess for me, the biggest thing is you can't compare yourself to other people.

SPEAKER_02 35:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 35:25

You cannot compare it, will drive you crazy and probably in debt.

SPEAKER_02 35:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 35:30

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 35:31

Probably in debt, definitely in debt.

SPEAKER_05 35:33

I mean, that's I I mean, I love telling our whole story about how we moved there and we got that house and and how I was just telling somebody the other day it needed it's 165 years old, it needed painted so bad, and Pap and a couple of the guys from the church were going to paint it. And they put scaffolding up the one side of the house where the buckeye tree is. It was up for three years and it never got painted. I said, if you don't take that down, I'm gonna decorate it. I it's never bothered me. You just don't care. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 36:05

Well, honestly, here's why I finish your thought.

SPEAKER_05 36:06

I I think it's because of the way that I grew up. We had running water, I had a bed. I have, you know, I'm I have children that love our house, and we're just simple people. We've never tried to live beyond our means. Never. If we didn't have any money, we didn't do stuff. We didn't it was a big deal to go to Cedar Point or go get ice cream or and and it still is sometimes, you know what I mean? But just to be content, am I content with my life 100%?

SPEAKER_03 36:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 36:37

And I don't, I don't, I don't have this, I don't have that. I love when I sit there and talk to women like I had a tea party last year or lunch and whatever you want to call it, and there were 13 women there that I didn't even know. This is this is how I am. So I had a yard sale, and these two girls came, these two ladies came and and we were talking, and she said, Why do you have all these glasses and cups and dishes? I said, Well, I used to do tea parties all the time, but I kind of got away from it. And then COVID hit and you know, all this stuff. And I said, That's my husband and I always talking about getting back into it again. And she said before she left, would you consider doing one for me and a couple of my friends? I said, Well, I don't know, I'll give you my number and we'll talk about it. So, anyhow, I said, Where are you from? And she said, We're from Eden Valley. Well, that's 40 minutes away from us. I said, What are you doing out here? They were going to the Rogers Yellow So anyhow, I called and I said, Yeah, I'll do it. This is how I know I'm doing what the Lord wants me to do. It may be simple, but this is me. So she called and she said, Six ladies. I said, Okay, how much do you charge? I said, Well, I can't charge you, but if you pay for the food, okay, we'll do it. So, anyhow, six ladies. So at at that time, somebody came over to the house and gave me this beautiful serving lemon. It's called a lemonade pitcher with five beautiful with it. And I think, oh, if it only had six, I could use it for these ladies. Okay. So I don't know this girl, but I had a little sign that said friends and a little candle, and I had a little table there, and I was gonna put it in. I thought, well, I can't do that, so I'll have to use something else that I got at a sale. So anyhow, she called back and she said, Well, Bethany can't make it. So she only has five friends, so I can use this beautiful porcelain. It was just gorgeous. And so they came in, okay, and right by the door was this pitcher of water, okay. It was just water with these five beautiful rows, okay. And uh, I said, the Bible tells us to give a glass of cool water given in his name. I don't know these women, I don't know if they were Christians, I don't know if they were heathens, I didn't know anything about them. Anyhow, and so we sipped our water and I said, I just want to thank you for being here today. And the one lady said, Are we not gonna use these anymore? I said, No, but you're not gonna throw it over your shoulder and throw it away. You know what I mean? And it was that's just what I do. But see, for me, it wasn't that I did that, it was that I only had five of those cups. And here I have five women.

SPEAKER_02 38:59

That's how I know in my heart by doing this, like little things like that just show you that God's like, Yep, yeah, you're doing exactly what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_05 39:07

We had devotions, and I figure if I never see them again, you know, we had prayer and we played jacks, we did cutouts, we did play-doh, yeah. We didn't talk about money, we didn't talk about illnesses, we didn't talk about anything. We just had a good time. Yeah. But that's how God works in my life. Yeah. And I I've always enjoyed doing it. And like I was sharing with you earlier, I don't have there used to be a song out in I don't have the best of taste, I don't walk with all of the grace, I don't do all of that stuff. I'm just who God made me.

SPEAKER_02 39:40

And you're perfectly content in that?

SPEAKER_05 39:42

Yeah, I don't and you have I've never compared myself to other people and what other people have because the Lord has done what he has done in our life. There's a song we sing at church through it all, through it all. I've learned to trust in Jesus. I've learned to trust. Is he in control? Absolutely. Yeah, he is so.

SPEAKER_02 40:00

It's so good. And I've seen you live it out. Like it makes me want to cry thinking about it because it's we are, I just feel like the world is missing the mark of truly the heart of what God must be so grieved at the way we're living, because it's like I think of the most impactful people in my lives and in my life, and you're at the top of the list, and you but you have just lived a very faithful, you and PAP, an obedient life. You just don't care because you the only thing that you care about is living a life that God that is pleasing to God.

SPEAKER_05 40:37

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 40:38

And so that always doesn't fly well with people, but it reminds me of the of actually, so you brought

Tea Parties And God’s Quiet Guidance

SPEAKER_02 40:45

this book back to me, which it's Victoria Durstock. I did have her on the podcast a while ago, and I gave you this book that I totally forgot about. And you, Victoria, we love you over here, but you had a really good point. This is extraordinary hospitality for ordinary Christians. And you grandma gave her honest feedback, which I loved because Victoria is great, and some people I can read this and I think of people like Ann Angie, totally different style.

unknown 41:11

Can you say that?

SPEAKER_02 41:13

Yeah, because she's also very hospitable, but she's like, Yeah, it's not me. Yeah, they it's just you said it's great, but not me. So I'm gonna no, but it's her, yeah, it's her, but that's it. Yeah, you can be hospitable in the ways that God created you to be. So you you, which I'm more like you, it's like take the pressure off. Another thing that I love about your house, it's like it's grandma's house. We have a thousand kids. I could we could become, and I remember I would have been probably Maya's age, and I was running around in your living room and I bumped my head on your shelf because I was playing hide and seek, and a rose that Pap had just gotten you was a golden dipped rose for your anniversary. It snapped in half. I still have it. Yeah, and I was petrified that some because it was so special, you were raving about it, and just you were just like, You think I love this rose more than I love you? But it's just it's not the grandma's house where you can't touch that. Don't touch that. This is breakable. It's a house that is beautiful and welcoming. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 42:18

I guess here's the other part of me. I never had a grandmother. I never had grandparents, and and I said my whole life I wanted to grow up, get married, be a mother. And that first of all, that was all out of order. Okay. Yeah. I did grow up. Grow up, be a mother and a grandmother. And I have lived expectations of what God wanted for me. And on top of that, the icing on the cake is being a grandmother and a great grandmother.

SPEAKER_02 42:42

Yeah. So yeah. Okay, but I just want to read this. So one thing that I do love is she starts off, what is biblical hospitality? And she talks about Acts Two. And when I hear you talk, it reminds me of the Acts Two church. So I'll just this is what the church is supposed to look like and feel like. And it even yeah. And it says they can, which Corey and I have a whole episode we're gonna do on this soon because I feel like again, we're missing the mark. They continued steadfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship and in of and breaking of bread and in prayers, and fear came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were done by the apostles, and all that believed were together, and they had all things in common. They sold their possessions and goods and parted them to all men as every man had need. And they, continuing daily, with one accord in the temple and breaking bread from house to house, did eat their meat with gladness and singleness of heart, praising God and having favor with all people. And the Lord added to the church daily such as should be saved. And I just think so. They're breaking, they're eating together. It's a simple life. They're trading goods because of that. Welcoming people into your home. And it's simple, it's not of it's not a production, and you were just. Telling us me and Carter earlier today about how you um had vertigo and pap was out of town and you had to pull over to a gas station and who'd you call? Mass Miller is what you said. And I th when you said that it was such a normal thing to you. But I it struck me because it's like, how many people have people like that where if their husband's out of town, they have a friend that they could feel that would drop everything to come get them, let alone a family member.

unknown 44:28

Right.

SPEAKER_02 44:28

People are lonely, people are also very selfish, very selfish, yes, absolutely. But because of your hospitality and your gift of presence and living out the acts to church in your daily life, you I I can't imagine you guys have built a community of people that you could you probably have a list of 10 people that you could call if something happened. More, yeah, more. Yeah. Church. Our old church. And you would do the same for them. I would do the same for that. That is a rich life. That's a rich, rich life.

SPEAKER_05 44:57

That's us. We've but the only icing on the cake for us was getting saved. He allowed that to be in our life before we became Christians. And he just added to it from you realizing God's word what he has to say of caring for other people and being hospitable and giving some it and it's hard in today's climate to know how to help and who to help. But if you're praying, you'll you'll just know. So I I know the podcast is is coming to an end here, but thinking about raising your children, keep because we're in the church, because we see so much, kids today run the home. Kids today run the home. And I understand that because of the busyness, but it ha it has affected church. If the kid doesn't want to come to church, they don't go to church.

SPEAKER_02 45:46

You know, that's not you can be you can be bl blatantly honest because I think we're at a point where a lot of people are realizing these things, like even with sports, sports and friends and kids running the home, and parents are feeling that desire to take it back because that's what we're the we're the authority. How do you do that?

SPEAKER_05 46:04

How do you turn turn that back around?

SPEAKER_02 46:07

Do you have an answer?

SPEAKER_05 46:08

I do, but it's a slow process. I mean, you just can't. It's what's true in the physical is true in the spiritual. You just can't stop eating. Okay. You have or running. You just can't. If you run every day, you just can't quit. It's got to do something. And the same spiritually speaking. And I think part of it is not having that family time together. People don't pray at night with their children. You know, I mean there's so many things that they don't do that all just like being an adult. We never did that with our kids. Our oldest daughter was 16 when we got saved. Aunt Yvonne was 13 and Aunt Jen was nine or 10. You think I'm gonna sit down with a 300-pound Bible and say, okay, this is what we're gonna do from now on. Right. It doesn't happen that way. It has to be a whole process and for them to see the changes in your life. And from the time that that happened, it hasn't it has never been an issue with us. We're the parents. That's not generational today. That's not how it works.

SPEAKER_02 47:06

That's not how but it's how it needs to work, and that's what Bible is.

SPEAKER_05 47:10

Absolutely, absolutely. So that's what I'm saying. You have to find something that works for you to change your life, to see how you change that, incorporate your kids in that and make them be a part of all of that. Why is the responsibility they have? I noticed when we were out eating lunch and you you're getting crude to say thank you and and you're welcome and please. And people don't do that stuff. Yeah. And and it has to start.

SPEAKER_02 47:33

It really is the tiny foundational building box.

SPEAKER_05 47:36

Oh, absolutely. And that's not from a spiritual vein.

SPEAKER_02 47:39

That's just from a being

Family Devotions And Kids Boundaries

SPEAKER_02 47:40

a decent person.

SPEAKER_05 47:41

Right. Now you go to the whole spiritual vein. It's the response.

SPEAKER_02 47:44

So what are tiny like bite-sized things where somebody's listening? They're like, Yeah, it is. It's like we're we've gotten so far off track. We're a normal American family. We're doing sports six days a week. We're burnout, we're tired, but I do want to start getting back to the basics. What are some simple basics that you would say implement this in your home?

SPEAKER_05 48:03

That's praying with them together as a family, teaching them to be quiet while we're praying. Not a 15-20 minute prayer. You got to start out with a little bit. You don't give the baby the whole bottle at the beginning, so you don't do that. But our life is changing and God needs to be at the center of that and how you can incorporate it into your life with your time until things slow down for you to see how you can change it. When your child leaves this home, okay. It's good as an adult, as a young adult going off to college, there needs to be some standard inside of him. Like a foundation of them, yeah, that's gonna stay on the right path. It's a tough world out there. When your mom and them were in high school, the biggest thing probably was kids sneaking behind the bleachers and smoking a cigarette. That's nothing. That's nothing in today's climate. But the whole missing thing is taking that family time. And it has to start with you and and dad. Your quiet time, his quiet time, your time together, whenever that is, and making that time with the kids. And you're they're one, they're two, they're five, you know what I mean? They're 11, they're 14. How do you do that with each kid? I think you start with the basics. You know, I remember one day being here with Carter and Lib and talking about the Ten Commandments. How do you teach them the Ten Commandments? Just to memorize it, I remember Carter doing the states. That was awesome. That was awesome to know the books of the Bible. I when I started writing my letters, which is another whole story, I could remember sending it to classmates and I could sing words to every song from the 50s and 60s. I couldn't tell you 10 commandments. I didn't know there were 66 books in the Bible.

SPEAKER_03 49:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 49:51

So how could I possibly teach my kid, my 16-year-old daughter that? You know what I mean? So you had to learn it.

SPEAKER_02 49:58

And I learned all of that doing BBS at your house. Remember when you had BBS at your house? You know all the books of the Bible. It's just, it is, it's little things that in the moment it feels insignificant, but it's what builds a person.

SPEAKER_05 50:12

God adds the growth.

SPEAKER_02 50:13

I love that. God adds the growth to the work that you're striving to do. So, like to think about hospitality, that could feel very overwhelming to somebody. But if you start your day with, actually, Lord, I just want to be obedient to what you have for me in this day and what you have in front of me in this moment, then that's where the Acts 2 scripture comes in of the Lord added to their numbers daily. It's not your job to add to the numbers, it's your job to be obedient and ask him to give you the eyes to see.

SPEAKER_05 50:44

Part of part of that also is to realize that he he's in control. So something happens in all your planned out days and you're interrupted. How are you going to handle that?

SPEAKER_02 50:54

Yeah, that's a big one because that's what I'm talking about with you, because you are interrupted all the time and it's never an inconvenience.

SPEAKER_05 51:01

Excuse me, I have to go in because the camo just overflowed. You can either sit here or you can help me, or I can leave and go till you leave. I mean, normal okay. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 51:11

But if you're moping the floor and somebody stops over, you're gonna put them off down. You'll put them off down.

SPEAKER_05 51:16

I'll put them off down.

SPEAKER_02 51:17

And you're not gonna roll your eyes.

SPEAKER_05 51:18

There's a retired school truth, she has since passed away, but I always used to say, uh, if you're coming to see me anytime you went, if you're coming to see my house, you might want to make an appointment because you never know what it's gonna look like. But at the same time, if you're my friend, if you're really my friend and my sister in the Lord, you're not gonna care. Yeah. But I said, Dusting is overrated. So she borrowed a sign, it's hanging in my kitchen. I know what it says. No, dust is a country collectible.

SPEAKER_02 51:48

I mean, I like the sign in your house that says doll women have immaculate homes.

SPEAKER_01 51:53

You saw that?

SPEAKER_05 51:54

Yeah. It was my best friend and I, we saw that together, and she said, We should buy two, because I'll keep one at my house and you keep one at your house. It's not that you're doll, you know what I mean? I mean it's more to life than having a pristine home. I'm very blessed. I love my home. I love my home. I take care of it.

SPEAKER_02 52:14

And you should take care of what God has given you. What He's blessed you with. But if it becomes an idol.

SPEAKER_05 52:19

Yeah, that's they say no other God.

SPEAKER_02 52:22

Yeah. No idols. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 52:23

People don't think of that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 52:25

Now we're gonna have to do a whole episode on what was your daily routine so that you could keep up, so that you could have people, just all the things. There's just so much. Because that's another one.

SPEAKER_05 52:35

You just never would be in season and out of season. Yeah. You know what I mean? Uh I mean, you're just thankful that people think enough that they want to come and see you, I guess. I don't know. I mean, I know people that are very lonely. Yeah. Lonely people. I I mean, I don't understand that. I've never been lonely. I've never been bored, I think. I I don't think I've ever been bored. See, play I've always like I have to go back to my childhood. Our home was hell on earth. Okay. Four kids. When I we were when me, when I was out of the house, it was so much fun. It was so much fun being out of the house.

SPEAKER_02 53:10

This is what my kids are gonna say.

SPEAKER_05 53:12

I I did I didn't get in trouble. I didn't run around. I it was just happy being out of the house and seeing people and meeting your friends at the movies or something, which I had a sneak to go to because it was a quarter back then and my dad wouldn't give me a quarter. But I've always liked people, and I was all I say that of Bible studies, the women's Bible studies, all the time. I was just a happy little kid out of the house. In the house, it was a different story. So that's what built my personality. I love people, all kinds of people. Yeah. Some I don't like, but that's okay. I have to love, you know. That's okay. They they tolerate me.

SPEAKER_02 53:49

All right, so tying this up with a pretty bow, which we can't because we've covered a lot.

SPEAKER_05 53:54

It's a beautiful I've done I wish I was as Bible like knowledgeable back then as I am. Never told any woman anything, didn't have the patience with them, maybe that I should have to teach them something because I and I just heard it on the way up here. Chuck Swindah said, You're expecting somebody to understand what it took you all these years to learn. So therefore, you don't have any tolerance for them. And that's very true. What do you mean you've been in church for 30 years and you don't understand this? They're not listening. Not listening, you know what I mean? So that was a good thing for me, but that's why I said you can't, you know, I want you to know I'm still praying for you and I'm still here for you. And I hope I never said anything wrong to lead you off of the wrong path or not have your faith grow in God.

SPEAKER_02 54:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 54:46

Bottom line. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 54:48

Okay. So for a mom in the thick of motherhood, like what's something when you look back on motherhood? Like, what's a piece of advice that you wish you could tell yourself as a mom in the thick of it when you think back, whether it's do this thing or don't do this thing.

SPEAKER_05 55:02

I learned a place that they can come when there's something going on. Something going on. Don't compare your life to other kids, don't compare your life to other parents. Be thankful to God that you have a home, that you have parents or

Loving Stern Parenting Through Trials

SPEAKER_05 55:15

parent. You know, and be lovingly stern, just like God is with us. He'll slap you on the hand. And we talked to George last night about he wiped out, I think, whole nations because they didn't listen. So that's what I'm saying. To just know that they're loved beyond a shadow of a doubt. And to know that your best for them is to not be so rigid that, oh my goodness, you know what I mean, which I I can remember when your mom and your dad were dating. I was not very nice to him. And I can remember apologizing to him one day in church because he was taking my oldest daughter away. Yeah. It's so sad to know that you have parents that will say at 70 years old, I don't know why my kid doesn't talk to me. I don't want to talk to my kid. I don't want to talk to my daughter.

SPEAKER_02 56:04

You know what I mean? It's how do you prevent that? Pardon me? By loving your children. I mean, that's the answer, right? I'm saying, how do you prevent that?

SPEAKER_05 56:12

How do you prevent by loving. I made mistakes, absolutely. Absolut have I apologized to you?

SPEAKER_02 56:17

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_05 56:18

Okay. I apologize to all of them.

SPEAKER_02 56:19

Yeah. Okay. It's yeah, and you I don't know any of your grandkids that don't want to come visit.

SPEAKER_05 56:25

But to for them to know that they're honestly loved. And you can't, you don't need to say things like, you know, I'm not perfect.

SPEAKER_02 56:32

They know that, but just the fact that And you don't you don't also do it by saying you're so loved. You do it by living it out.

SPEAKER_05 56:38

When does God quit loving us? Never. Okay. There you go. Yeah. That's it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 56:43

Well, this is great. Thanks. No, seriously, I'm so thankful for you and for Pap and just the role models that you are in my life. I feel I mean, just look at my family between you and Pap and then the Carmi family. Like, we're so and my parents, like we're so abundantly blessed, and so many people aren't. And so it's such a gift to be able to share you with many people who are listening and just even to get just a tiny bit of your wisdom today.

SPEAKER_05 57:14

I'm a very, I'm a very show me how much more to appreciate life. I don't know if you know who Johnny Erickson is. Okay. That's a shame. You should know who Johnny. I mean, I've talked to other women. I talked to somebody yesterday. Have you ever listened to this? No. When Grandma Carmy was alive and we were brand new and we moved out to Ohio, and Johnny Erickson was uh speaking at Geneva College. Johnny Erickson was out on a boat, dove into the water.

SPEAKER_02 57:40

Is this like a well-known person or somebody you know?

SPEAKER_05 57:44

Well, then I'll get to the person that I know. Okay. Very well known. Well, she is well known now. Sixteen or seventeen years old, dove into the water, quadrupedlegic. For the rest of she is 76 years old, so she has lived like that for 60 years. Painted paints with a brush. Okay. I think I do remember this. Well, I went there with grandma. At that same time in Rochester, a girl dove into Rochester swimming pool and came out a quadriplegic. And I can remember after I got saved, and I can remember writing Linda a letter and telling her to don't give up hope. Listen to this woman, listen to this girl, this teenage girl, the same thing, same age, same year, same type of accident. And so to listen to that and realize how we always say we're ready to handle these things, but are we ready to handle things? When your mom, I have to jump forward again to your mom, 16 years old, 16 years old, little, five foot something, okay, and all we had was a big customized van and she pulled out of our driveway. Okay, I'm saved about two or three months now. And I remember saying, Lord, I cannot do this. I can't do this. She's all yours. Anything could happen. Anything could happen. You you have to have that mindset, you know. I mean, and the biggest thing for me is to make sure your kids are saved. Are you saved? Do you know what that is? Do you understand that? Do you have the right relationship with God? Because because anything could happen. And before he came out of the hospital, she ended up in hospital with a fever.

SPEAKER_03 59:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 59:36

And the the doctors came out to the husband and said, Your wife will make it, but she's gonna lose her limbs. And he said, Arms or legs? And he said, All of them. Two children. There's no answer for any of that. But I know this your faith should make you stronger to be able to handle anything that comes your way. And without Christ, it's gonna pull you somewhere. It's gonna pull you somewhere. But you want it to be closer to God. So that's what I'm saying. I still write letters to my family, you know, and my older brother, 20 years after I kept writing him as letters, and I can remember going down to see him at Myrtle Beach, and he said, I know why you're here. I said, Well, if you know why I'm here, what are you waiting on? I want you to tell me what my letters have told you all these years. And he did, and he asked God to forgive him and he asked Christ into his heart, and he died like three days later. But 20 years? Anything could have happened, but at least I told. At least I tell. I can't, I'm not responsible

Final Encouragement And Listener Texts

SPEAKER_05 1:00:45

for their their decision.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:48

And that's a tough one. That's a tough one, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:51

I don't know, but it's good. I well, I love you, and I love this. Thank you so much for coming on today. We're gonna have to have you come back. Okay, you're cute, but maybe a little brayer, but that's okay. All right, well, I hope you guys have a good week. I hope you guys enjoyed this. And if you have any questions for Grandma Rose, G-R-A-M-M-A, you can shoot us a text. And yeah, we'd love for you to share this with somebody who you think needs it this week. So talk to you soon.