Welcome to the Martha Project, America's Funniest Podcast about Martha Stewart. In each hosts Jeremy Wells and Kara Buller review an episode of Martha Stewart Living and explore Martha Stewart's past, present and future, poking fun but worshipping her along the way.
Gmail | jeremywells0@gmail.com
Instagram | marthaprojectinsta
Music by Jason Erlenborn
Produced by Jason Erlenborn
https://www.facebook.com/jasofbas/
Welcome to the Martha Project, America's Funniest Podcast about Martha Stewart. In each hosts Jeremy Wells and Kara Buller review an episode of Martha Stewart Living and explore Martha Stewart's past, present and future, poking fun but worshipping her along the way.
Gmail | jeremywells0@gmail.com
Instagram | marthaprojectinsta
Music by Jason Erlenborn
Produced by Jason Erlenborn
https://www.facebook.com/jasofbas/
This is the Martha Project.
Kara Buller:And if you are going to be steamed alive, you'd like a drink also.
Jeremy Wells:With Cara Buller.
Kara Buller:This is the most misogynistic sentence I've ever read.
Jeremy Wells:And Jeremy Wells. I don't like plants, I don't like outdoor porn. I can't use any of this crap. Where are we with Martha this week? What are the current affairs? What's the Martha Stewart current affairs? Well, specifically you.
Kara Buller:Focused on me. Yes, that's fine and look at Martha through me. Okay, sorry. What I know for sure I did. I did hit bottom last night.
Jeremy Wells:Okay, I did hit bottom last night, okay.
Kara Buller:All right.
Jeremy Wells:This is a safe place.
Kara Buller:Thank you. Thank you. More specifically, it's Kevin Sharkey. Okay, so yes, already I can see that this is a lot of feelings in you.
Jeremy Wells:I think you can understand why I went down the Kevin Sharkey rabbit hole.
Kara Buller:I think you can understand why I went down the Kevin Sharkey rabbit hole. For those not familiar, Kevin Sharkey is the heir to the throne. Will it go to Alexis?
Jeremy Wells:Does Alexis want it? Alexis will probably. I'm thinking. I was thinking about that. I feel like she'll take the money, but I'm sure Kevin's going to get some money too.
Kara Buller:Yes, yeah, I read. They spend all their holidays together. They travel together. He's the I don't know his official title, but basically president of omni meter, acting president, or he does. He approves everything. Before it goes to martha, he is second in command, right? He could basically run the whole ship if she is out of the picture.
Jeremy Wells:I'm very threatened by him. I don't know him and I feel like I have the gay competition thing going with him and I just. But I don't, you know more than I do.
Kara Buller:Well, I know I've gotten really into his relationship with Douglas Friedman, his partner through Instagram, so I feel like I do intimately. You know, nothing says the truth like Instagram.
Jeremy Wells:Right and who's Douglas Friedman?
Kara Buller:Now Douglas Friedman is an interesting member in this entourage because he's from a more like highfalutin, like architectural digest and like art foundation, very like Los Angeles, downtown New York, like design and fashion, whereas Martha has got her deals with Kmart, not knocking Kmart and Target, listen, you know, know everybody, they serve a purpose, but reedman is really in the uh artwork. You know a little anyway, highfalutin and so I don't know how they met or where they met.
Kara Buller:There's some talk that douglas is with him for the money I mean, I think that's probably totally right. So gay partnerships, like there will be a power. There's two power gays. I think Douglas Friedman is very much a power gay. He's buff, he's like successful. But then you've got Kevin, who's a different type of power gay.
Jeremy Wells:Right, right, right. Yeah, I think he's a lot to contend with. I think we could probably do a whole lot, so yeah, yeah yeah, I.
Kara Buller:I will say I started to really want to pull away and protect myself yeah, I think that's probably a good instinct like.
Kara Buller:I just needed to tell myself I'm okay, exactly as I am. Like. These are some heavy, these are heavy doses these instagram like that's the thing with like. Looking at martha's, martha 48, martha's store, all her different Instagrams, right. Looking at Kevin's and looking at Douglas, and just to say I am lovable with my piles of laundry and there's a rotting carton of organic milk outside my apartment right now that somebody put out on the street or like there's.
Kara Buller:This is a bad neighborhood when do you live, though I mean it's williamsburg right oh god, oh honey, no, no, I mean, I, you know, this is that's, that's what I that's that's where you're hauling it. 15 years ago oh my god, that's very martha of me, don't let the truth get in the way of a good one.
Kara Buller:It's called Bushwick and gentrifying it's on the way down now with the economy, or whatever. Yeah, okay, so, so, yeah, so okay. So that was my night. Last night was looking at a bunch of pics and saying, eventually, enough enough, good, good, I think that's good.
Jeremy Wells:I mean I got a lot of martha stewart stuff going on but I I ordered through amazon martha stewart espresso k cups, martha Stewart espresso K-cups there's 22. I thought it was a good deal. I think it was like $17.99 or something. That was a good deal. And I watched a video of her kind of discussing them with the man who runs the company that does it and Martha was like I don't even like coffee and like, but I do love this, or she only likes cappuccino or something anyway. So my experiences with them.
Jeremy Wells:I read some reviews online and they said these are horrible, these are awful, like one to two stars, and they said like they taste like paper. But I think what I was doing was I was brewing it with too much water in the K-cup machine because when I brewed it on the lowest setting it is Martha Stewart espresso blend. There's also Martha's blend, but I got the espresso blend and when I brewed it on the lowest setting and I brewed two of those K-cups, I'm gonna tell it was delicious, and I ran to Eric who was getting ready to go out somewhere, I don't know.
Kara Buller:And I said please taste this.
Jeremy Wells:And he said so that's my latest and greatest. And I was actually looking into, like because Martha has so many deals Home Depot, macy's, jcpenney Is there even JCPenney anymore? Maybe it's an online thing Staples, PetSmart, Michaels, Joanne Fabrics so Martha Stewart living on the media was once valued at $2 billion and it was sold to marquee brands for $175 million. I don't know what the decline. Is there Any speculation?
Kara Buller:I got nothing $2 billion strikes me as low. I will say that I read yesterday that she has 40 different companies.
Jeremy Wells:Oh well, I was trying to find. I want a list of every single one of them.
Kara Buller:Thank you. Thank you, yes, yes, I did. I also don't understand what that means, but I also, you know, when I worked for Hyatt, like there was, like you have all these different legal entities, hyatt, hotels of Puerto Rico, hyatt hotels international, hyatt, you have all these different legal entities so you can function in different countries, or, and so I you know, like martha's, like when she goes into tokyo. I imagine there's demand. Um so, eddie, yeah, I would like to see a listing of the legal entities for the store. I don't know where we could.
Jeremy Wells:we might need to hire a legal consultant right, I, I think with the zip recruiter insert commercial for zip recruiter. Ziprecruiter Insert commercial for ZipRecruiter.
Kara Buller:Ooh, yeah, I spent some time yesterday on the Martha Stewart shop I think it's MarthaStewartShopcom because I wanted a teacup for our podcast, right?
Jeremy Wells:okay, yeah like.
Kara Buller:What kind of teacup would martha use if she was doing a podcast? Right so I wanted to you know see what? And I didn't listen. I didn't want anything cheap, right? I didn't want something that she one of her made in china. I I sorry and I have this idea right laughs her name on anything it's made on China and it's real cheap right as she wanted.
Jeremy Wells:You want as close as possible to what Martha Stewart might look at and not throw on the ground thank you, yes, or if I'm at Turkey Hill, what am I offered?
Kara Buller:for my tea, and so what I found on Martha's Shop was I found a $175 teacup. That was Just one Tell me more. I'm interested right.
Jeremy Wells:Just one teacup.
Kara Buller:One teacup $175. Royal Copenhagen was the maker. I clicked on it and it brought me to wayfaircom.
Kara Buller:now, other times that's a letdown right and then and other times there was like a pottery barn mug. I click on it and it brought me to pottery barn. So she is curating, so she is going around the world different mugs, um, and so I imagine she gets a little I don't know what the percentage is every time somebody's buying a mug and it occurred to me what we could do is something called um. Now she's making all these recommendations from other sites. Why don't we make recommendations from her site?
Kara Buller:and they're right, so it's my website would be martha stewart by jeremy and cara right and then, when you click on our site, it brings you to her site, which brings you to pottery barn where she still gets the money, though no, we gotta cut her out we got. Okay, all right, we'll figure out a way to like yeah, exactly, yeah, uh, so we're using her, but not giving her any I've never been to this marthashopcom.
Jeremy Wells:it's kind of just like her well, probably not her like her editors or whatever kevin it's.
Kara Buller:Kevin kevin is editors or whatever. Kevin it's kevin.
Jeremy Wells:I mean, I would have to put it kevin, kevin is that is you know boy?
Kara Buller:yeah, that kevin. She has a bulldog named after kevin and he said I am not a pet. I believe me, I am no pet. I work hard and I do a lot of work the dog said this the dog said this this is just to ground everybody. This is available online.
Kara Buller:This is a 2015 new york times story about kevin shark wow, you're going deep yes, this is why I I'm like a girl after halloween, just vomiting up candy like I'm. I'm just sick on Martha Stewart. I just had too much and too much of a good thing. Thank you, good thing. Okay, so I lost my train of thought.
Jeremy Wells:Okay, sharky the bulldog, or the pug, or what the bulldog?
Kara Buller:Right, I think French bulldog named after Kevin. There's also a tote bag that Martha made named after Kevin.
Jeremy Wells:Oh yeah, there's also a tote bag that Martha made named after Kevin, I think it's oh yeah, there's like Sharky Gray, like one of her when she was doing color, when she was doing paints. It was like Sharky Gray or something.
Kara Buller:Yes, yeah, she feels very safe with Kevin.
Jeremy Wells:Like.
Kara Buller:Kevin knows how to handle her prickliness. Kevin can calm her down. Kevin is her Xanax. I think that's actually what somebody said.
Jeremy Wells:Really.
Kara Buller:So what we're hearing here now? Codependency. This is a codependent relationship.
Jeremy Wells:Sure.
Kara Buller:There are not any boundaries, and so what we're getting into here now is me judging Martha, and that is going to be a theme that continues, sure.
Jeremy Wells:I mean well, we won't have any content otherwise.
Kara Buller:And this. This gets into a bigger theme that I want to talk about We'll, we'll get there which is Martha, good or bad, when does it net out? She brings so much joy to people's lives, so much order, and just looking at her sites and even just looking at my Royal Copenhagen mug for $175 got me so excited. It's a joy.
Jeremy Wells:It's calming. Yeah, I've always found it very. Everything's in order. She has the perfect way to do things and if you follow the directions, you do the you.
Kara Buller:It's perfect yeah, yeah, so, uh, this, okay, so this is something that really, yeah, she, she's our xanax, like, okay, kevin is her xanax, and then she's calming us down. Maybe people who didn't have a lot of guidance, nobody taught them how to compost, nobody taught them how to you know color, you do the right color schemes, right. She comes with her confidence, her total confidence, right, this is wrong. Oh this is the right way and so, but there's a darker side.
Jeremy Wells:Sure, there's a darker side to all of us. I mean, with so much money behind it, you could get real dark.
Kara Buller:Oh my God. Okay, so I'm just going to quickly call attention to Martha Stewart Just Desserts by Jerry Oppenheimer. This is a 1997 book, I believe, and can you can you explain the cover?
Jeremy Wells:I mean, can you just, can you describe the?
Kara Buller:cover. Okay. So first of all, this is a hard cover. I recommend getting the hard copy okay, okay. Oh, 1997, hot off the press effect. Okay, don don't do Kindle.
Jeremy Wells:I got it.
Kara Buller:Thank you, you got the hardcover. Okay, get the hardcover and what we have here is a very 1997 font. I don't know what that font is, it's sort of a Times New Roman. We have a picture of a cake here, a beautifully decorated cake with Martha's visage on the cake. Some beautiful flowers here, sugar, you know what do we call that Frosting flowers.
Jeremy Wells:Yeah.
Kara Buller:And then we have a slice taken out of the cake.
Jeremy Wells:A slice taken out of her face in the cake.
Kara Buller:Thank you. Yes, yes, we are cutting into Martha, okay, and the title is Just Desserts, and when somebody gets their just desserts, they are getting the punishment.
Jeremy Wells:Well, I mean, you are cutting into her face and it's just desserts. So this sets it up to be this book, where you know that Jerry Oppenheimer, the author, is going to rip her apart.
Kara Buller:Yes, okay. So this is sort of a third rail for the-.
Jeremy Wells:This is even before prison. This is early on.
Kara Buller:Yes, Mr Oppenheimer has sniffed something out about her. He's detecting that something. There's more to the story than what she's putting out. And here is the opening quote in the book Epitaph. I don't know what you call that.
Jeremy Wells:Yeah, I think so.
Kara Buller:There are no skeletons, there are no secrets. Martha Stewart, march 26, 1996. The rest of the book is the counter argument to that statement, where he says oh, sweetie honey, there's nothing but secrets and nothing but skeletons, and I'm going to find every one of them, right.
Jeremy Wells:So this was at a time when Martha Stewart wasn't being, she wasn't as much of a lightning rod or a joke, or you know, I think she was just on the border of that. So I feel like that's the purpose of the book is to like take someone you know it's like the Paula Deen or take someone you know it's like the Paula Dean, or take someone Rosie O'Donnell, people that are nice people who are projected as Ellen um successful and everybody loves them.
Jeremy Wells:I don't know, martha Stewart quite fits that category, but America likes to see people fall collapse, so he's helping with that yes, yes it is.
Kara Buller:He says you're strong, enigmatic women like barbara walters I mean, I'm not disagreeing, but that's a strange okay, okay, but about whom? I'd also written a biography, intrigued me. I think he was so strong. Enigmatic women like Barbara Walters. How about Stryzant? I think he'd go after Stryzant.
Jeremy Wells:No, no, not Jerry.
Kara Buller:He wouldn't dare I mean yeah, okay, about whom I'd also written a biography Intrigued me, so I started to poke around Strong, enigmatic woman. This is the most misogynistic sentence I've ever read. Strong enigmatic woman, so I have to rip them down.
Jeremy Wells:Right. That's why I don't. I like the book because it includes information about her that we wouldn't normally get, but I don't. I struggle with just ripping down a female because they're successful, yeah, but I mean I think it's okay to poke fun and all that, but I just don't like that it's not an audiobook, because I would have had it read in a day.
Kara Buller:oh my god, I want. I want to do the audio book for you because this is delicious I don't know how many sentences, or like he. That night, martha went down to see her father. He was eating an onion sandwich and like my word. Martha's father was known for eating sandwiches that were merely white bread and onion. That night, Martha joined him in an onion sandwich. There's a lot of sandwich talk and Oppenheimer is very much using sandwiches against Martha as metaphors. Yes, yes, yes, white bread.
Jeremy Wells:I can't tell you how many times he mentions white bread.
Kara Buller:Now, now keep in mind, we're talking about Martha Kostira. This is the 1940s.
Jeremy Wells:Right, kostira. What is it, kostira?
Kara Buller:Kostira okay.
Jeremy Wells:At least that's how she pronounces it.
Kara Buller:Oh, interesting. She acknowledged that she once had a Polish last name.
Jeremy Wells:Right and she said that thank God I married andy stewart because I would never would have succeeded with martha castira I think she's right.
Kara Buller:Yeah, um, she would have changed, she would have found a way. She would have found a way to get rid of that name. Okay, so there's mustard sandwiches.
Jeremy Wells:They eat mustard sandwiches um is this kind of talking about how they're poor? Is this alluding to?
Kara Buller:yes, yes, he's going to paint this sort of yeah very, they're not that poor. Her dad was a high school gym teacher, or something right you know, I mean here's.
Kara Buller:Here's a classic, this is classic j. This is where there's this big like detailed revelation with no citation, nobody. How does he get this information? He's like after school she watched enviously as other kids dug into their pockets for the seven cents to buy popsicles from the good humor man. Every penny was carefully counted". Like where did he? How does he know that? Who's watching this? That she's enviously watching other kids? I don't know, he doesn't-.
Jeremy Wells:And counting their money.
Kara Buller:Okay, so often she didn't have the luxury of an extra few pennies to buy an ice cream for dessert in the cafeteria. Oh, here's another mention of a bologna sandwich. Okay, so if Martha didn't go home for lunch, she brought a bologna sandwich wrapped in wax paper in a brown bag to school. Onion sandwiches, which are just onions on white bread.
Jeremy Wells:Sure, that's a thing yeah.
Kara Buller:There's mustard sandwich and then there's the bologna sandwich I do want to mention you did give me a gift Full disclosure. Listen, we're going to be very clear about our finances here, unlike some people who have Transparent, transparent above board. Right, you gifted me MarthaSte stewart tvcom, but they are sending me threats. Okay, I will tell you. Okay, they are telling me I'm about to get cut off. I understand that this is about 6.99 a month. Right, I would pay. Listen, I would pay $29.99. Okay.
Jeremy Wells:We should talk about the Each episode we are going to go Now. I haven't decided if we should go. Why are you laughing?
Kara Buller:No, this is so important Because I jumped into scripted material. No, I just like how seriously we are taking our podcast, um but um, I wanted to go back to the transparency, so you gifted me oh 99 for martha stewart tvcom, so all the martha stewart livings going back to 1993 when it's open. And now I'm going to start paying my own way. Oh good, I'm glad.
Jeremy Wells:I hoped you would.
Kara Buller:You've converted me. You've converted me, yes, yeah, so okay, all right. So that's, I'm starting to get pulled into this empire. Yeah, once you start to hover around the edges, you just go in deeper and deeper right right following seven different instagram accounts for martha and also reading simultaneously four different biographical books about okay it can really send you down, yeah yeah, but think so. This is good that we're doing a 25 year podcast. You and I, we've committed.
Jeremy Wells:Yeah, this is gonna be right yeah it's gonna be the meet the depress, meet the press of uh podcasts longest running tv show, or if we should. I don't know. I don't know. We'll have to figure that out, but we started with season one, episode one. Do you know when it aired?
Kara Buller:yes, yes, I will pull that up right now um original air date september 18th 1993 and you said you did some research on, like, what was going on yeah, yeah, okay, so sleepless in seattle is playing in theaters, um, yeah, and okay, murder mystery um.
Kara Buller:I caroline's comedy hour was big back then in the 90s so you could see some great stand-up comedy with comedians using, you know, pumping the stool and all that great comedy from the 90s. And also I told you about this ad that was in the New York Times Jurassic Park. See it now on the big screen, because it won't be on video cassette this year.
Jeremy Wells:What a threat.
Kara Buller:Yeah.
Jeremy Wells:My goodness.
Kara Buller:So I think that really got people to pay attention. Yeah, it was a Saturday. It kind of made me think about what was my family doing was it a PB?
Jeremy Wells:I wonder if it started on PBS.
Kara Buller:I don't know yeah, I want to complain over here now. This was 14 minutes long, now a TV show, wouldn't it be like a half hour? But then you have we have we.
Jeremy Wells:This is the zapruder film of martha stewart living. I think we can get right to that. So we have an introduction by martha stewart where she's softly telling us what she's going to do in the episode, right where she's softly telling us what she's going to do in the episode.
Kara Buller:Right, I remember reading at the bottom of the like there's a show description and it says cherry preserves, garden tool painting, trip to the green market and composting, and in my version there are no cherry preserves.
Jeremy Wells:The cherry preserves have been removed. May have been removed. I had one thought that maybe she sterilized things wrong. So if she was canning?
Kara Buller:Well then tell us that I I mean, you know just come out and say that's what the New York Times. Total journalistic integrity. You don't just have a whole section missing no.
Jeremy Wells:At the beginning she says we make cherry preserves for friends. Um, and then there's just no for friends, and then there's just no talk. It's not brought up again.
Kara Buller:Yeah, so that's a concern. That's a concern I have and I also. What would be nice if there was a comment section. There is, comments are turned off.
Jeremy Wells:Yeah, yeah.
Kara Buller:And this would have been a nice opportunity to engage with the community Sure. And we've talked about that, like where are the cherry preserves, you know, and but I also think it's quite telling, right?
Jeremy Wells:It's quite. It's quite, I mean it's. You know, you can read a lot into that. I'm also thinking the length of the show. Perhaps it was during one of the subscriber episodes or subscriber things where what do you call that?
Kara Buller:It's not a telethon, but like during PBS, this is not interesting I was, but I I'm so zeroed in right now, so please keep talking um because I'm also thinking it's fascinating that she's on pbs, that she's right on pbs and she ends up doing chopped on what network is chopped? Uh, food network, network yeah somebody was complaining online oh, now I gotta get Discovery Channel. Or somebody was complaining about.
Jeremy Wells:Maybe it is Discovery Channel. I think they own Food Network or. I don't know, this guy, cbs, I don't know. Okay, so cherry preserves. Well, what is this? Never mind, okay?
Kara Buller:so you got bored yeah.
Jeremy Wells:So she says that like my internet is bad.
Kara Buller:This is so not martha. Martha would never. I mean, I don't know what martha would do if she lived in Bushwick and had an optimum table can you hear me okay?
Jeremy Wells:yeah, now you're back okay so at the beginning of the episode, she gently tells us that if we need any recipes or guides to call the 1-800 number. Yes, yes, but she doesn't give the 1-800 number. I don't think. I bet that's part of the Cherry Preserves segment. It all comes back to the Cherry Preserves, the first segment. I'm going to read this from Very Good Things.
Kara Buller:Martha.
Jeremy Wells:Stewart.
Kara Buller:Jeremy just held up a hardcover copy of a Martha book with her blonde hair. Her hair looks great, gotcha looks great, okay.
Jeremy Wells:So this is the introduction to the book and she's talking about this episode. I clearly recall when it's a good thing became my personal catchphrase back in the early 90s. I had just painted the handles of my gardening hand tools a bright orange, so they could not possibly be lost in the chaos of the garden, and the phrase just came to me At the time. It immediately struck a chord with the director and producers of my TV show and, of course, shortly thereafter, with our viewers. I continued to use it on a very regular basis to call out solutions and projects that work simple, smart and sensible.
Kara Buller:The rest is history. Like they immediately knew lightning in a bottle, they immediately know it when it happens, yeah, so she goes do you ever go crazy looking for your tools in the garage?
Jeremy Wells:That's the first question she asked us. Crazy looking for your tools in the garden? That's the first question she asked us, I think in the first segment of the first episode of Martha Stewart Living. Do you ever go crazy looking for your tools in the garden? Now also, I want to say I don't like gardening segments, I don't like outdoor segments, I don't like plants, I don't like outdoor porn. So that's just me plants.
Kara Buller:I don't like outdoor porn, so that's just me, okay.
Jeremy Wells:Okay, yeah, yeah, I'm different.
Kara Buller:I like to go out. I love outdoor porn. I was just in my garden this morning. When I say that's a huge exaggeration, it's a pile of concrete with an ivy plant on it, I mean it's nice. Yeah, I had some clematis going. I have ivy, I have a rosebush, I have roses, I really like roses, yes, yes, a beech's tree.
Kara Buller:But I want to say everything that's happening in what I call 1-1, which is episode 1, 1-1, or, as you call this, that Bruder film. Every moment is so telling, and so I want to say the very first shot we see of Martha. Oh, by the way, this is her Now. This wouldn't be her first TV appearance. She has been on TV talking about her books.
Jeremy Wells:And she's done specials before this Entertaining, which was her first book, so I think that that was the first PBS special so, but this is still merits a lot of focus, even this is it does One one.
Kara Buller:One one, okay. So the first shot we see of her in one one is her laughing and smiling and she's carefree.
Jeremy Wells:Mm-hmm.
Kara Buller:I also see her walking down the garden path carrying like a Victorian flower basket.
Jeremy Wells:I was gonna bring that up okay she still has it, she still uses it, I think in episodes later on and it's like a little basket with a stick on it that you can stick into the ground and then like, still like pick up flowers or pick up vegetables or whatever take it out of the ground and then yeah, so you don't have to bend over.
Kara Buller:Yeah, oh yeah, I didn't see that. I mean, that's a lot like this shot. Is her just gracefully walking down? But I I appreciate you adding more to the story. This basket props department is really keeping an eye on that basket. I okay. Also I want to say I. I noticed the opening sequence has all these words whizzing by.
Jeremy Wells:Yeah.
Kara Buller:Very 90s, and it reminds me like in our computer classes in the 90s, the teachers would teach you how to program, how to make the words whiz by, or like two different things. Do you remember this? Like you could put in different commands, like run, colon, I don't know. There were just some movements.
Jeremy Wells:The top of the line CGI at the time for her title sequence.
Kara Buller:Like in multicolor, like entertaining Gardening would be in pink. One would be in green running down the right side Restoring Homekeeping. Here we're getting it all right. Here we're getting the whole. This is the. She knows who she is and she knows the vision is there in 1993. It's all things home. It's all things.
Jeremy Wells:It's all things. It's all things. I mean there's no end to what she can do or promote, or teach.
Kara Buller:I'm gonna say I hear you. There is a very. This is a limited world. We're not going to be talking about healthy communication. And what if your marriage is on the rocks?
Kara Buller:or no raising children, right, right, this that's where some people would tune out or like. But oprah, oprah had no end to what oprah? That's true. Oprah is like the opposite of of martha. Oprah is like let's. So you married a child molester, so your marriage is on the rocks, so you're throwing up your food. Oprah is willing to take all those skeletons out of the closet, and Martha is saying there are no skeletons in the closet.
Jeremy Wells:Yeah, I think I like that better. I mean just thinking about right now like Oprah is trying to save the world, literally. But I think that that's good. But you're right, you're right, I'm wrong. There is an end to what Martha can do, and that's she focuses on her wheelhouse, I guess. But her wheelhouse now includes Snoop Dogg, but it fits in sort of I mean. I think it does fit in. We'll get into that later in another episode, because I have not watched the show.
Kara Buller:We'll get into that later in another episode.
Jeremy Wells:Yeah, yeah, because I had not watched the show.
Kara Buller:She can go as deep as she wants. In a way it's liberating, because she's just talking about the domestic realm.
Jeremy Wells:Right. So there are boundaries, like sometimes writing a story or play. When you have boundaries it's easier because it's not just a blank piece of paper.
Kara Buller:You can you have to work with it and figure out what fits yeah yeah, and I think that's part of her success was that she didn't waste time. Oh, maybe I should do something about parenting, or maybe I should do something about travel, or maybe I should. No, this is about the fantasy of the perfect home, and so many of us need that fantasy of the perfect home, and so she's really I think that's part of the success is like this is.
Jeremy Wells:there weren't many people who did this. There were Emily Post and other etiquette books that told you the perfect way to set a table. Martha took over that mantle of etiquette, sort of in the right way to do everything sort of in it in the right way to do everything.
Kara Buller:Yeah, you know what I was thinking about. I really there's. You know those um movies from the or film scripts from the 1950s. The family home, mother loves to cook and johnny's home now and oh, they all love pie. Like just these, like homemaking there are some challenges. Look outmy that's a wet floor, ha ha ha. And so her show is almost like this continuation of these film strips on instructional film strips on hygienic living.
Jeremy Wells:You know just like it's a very um, mr rogers kind of um. I was probably why I was attracted to it, because I like mr roger it was a very, it's a very. She delivers, like mr rogers, in a very calm, um slow voice, I guess that's so funny.
Kara Buller:I was thinking the same thing. Like the real, mr Rogers. Like the outfits are simple. This world is very simple, yeah, not very cluttered.
Jeremy Wells:And makes the information, I think, more valuable because it's not getting lost in whatever. Yeah, a personality.
Kara Buller:Yeah, it's a very simple world, like today, like mr rogers, like she goes to the green market today we're going to the green market, it's so exciting here and like, um, like mr rogers would do the same thing. Like just this, really simple, um, let's go. Oh, you know. Okay, now this is gonna be. I was thinking what about Martha having a conversation with mr Rogers and Daniel? He uses the little Daniel talks to people about their feelings and like good, martha wanted a little talk with Daniel the lion.
Jeremy Wells:Like oh, my god, that makes me uncomfortable. Think about I. I don't, I don't want, I don't want martha to have to do that. I don't feel like okay. Okay, she should have to get in touch with her feelings, okay okay, I, I hear you.
Kara Buller:Okay, um, all right, but um, I I do want you to understand her whole empire is an expression of trauma and I hope we're all clear on that. I hope there's no Okay.
Jeremy Wells:That's worth exploring.
Kara Buller:It's a quite possibility that repressed, unaddressed trauma is what creates 40 different companies with LLCs that need to be processed by accounts around the clock. Okay, I made my point. I made my point.
Jeremy Wells:So she's like I read does you ever go crazy looking for your tools in the garden? And her solution is that she's painting the handles a bright orange poppy orange and then you will never lose your tools again. Orange, and then you will never lose your tools again. And this, these tools, can be made for birthday gifts, specifically birthday gifts, mother's Day not so. I think she was a little rusty, or you know she needed to. She looks, I don't know.
Kara Buller:That's her first segment, you know okay, I, I in my show notes here I have about the garage piece. Her hair is stunning. The garage hair is beautiful, angelic. Oh, we golden curls. She's also wearing like an extra, extra large denim shirt. This is like a very big it's, it's almost hip-hop, it's like I don't a very 90s giant denim jean jean shirt. Oh, by the way, the clothes, the clothes are provided by J crew. And who was the other company?
Kara Buller:oh, it's a the yeah I want to say Brooks Brothers, but both of them are now anyway. They're both bankrupt now. Oh no, no, sorry, eddie Bauer, I had to look up Eddie Bauer very 90s. I remember I carried it around at Eddie Bauer, so proud of my Eddie Bauer it's the first mention of her dad, oh really she said I remember dad doing this.
Kara Buller:I did this with dad, yeah yeah, now I'm going to have to bring back Oppenheimer, because Oppenheimer every time she says one of her things like Sunday mornings were a time of togetherness at the house. We were always so happy singing. One of her relatives will say if that ever happened, it was news to me. I have no memory of that. Like, everyone is constantly like, but she's trying to create this like yeah we were together and happy and all and all.
Kara Buller:Her in the book, like her childhood friends, say nobody ever wanted to be at martha's house. Nobody ever wanted to be there. So it's so yeah, she is Disney World.
Jeremy Wells:She's trying to create this perfect place that you want to return to.
Kara Buller:Yeah, oh, Jeremy, I wanted to mention this. I need to get up to Turkey Hill. Like I am going crazy in my neighborhood. It's such a bad neighborhood.
Jeremy Wells:She doesn't live in Turkey Hill anymore. She lives in Bedford. She sold Turkey Hill before she went to prison.
Kara Buller:Okay, I stand correct, I'm an idiot. Okay, but Turkey, metaphorically.
Jeremy Wells:Yeah, okay, as a state of mind.
Kara Buller:Yes, yes, and Dolly has Dollywood. Like I need Martha, Like can she open up even more for us so I can visit and get? Away I think it's called renting an Airbnb. You know, in Connecticut. But, I'd rather have a Martha connection. Okay, her dad. Oh, she mentioned her dad.
Jeremy Wells:Oh yeah, she mentioned that she did this with her dad, or her dad did did this, and she has these three huge compost like I don't know bins, and then she recognizes that maybe we don't have those. So she said you can make them easily out of rabbit wire, which is like chicken wire, but for rabbits which anyway. But anyway, it's confusing to me. So she's going through the steps of uh, how to do um compost, like put worms in there, and then she puts lime. She said that he can get up to 165 degrees and if you see steam and smoke coming out of it, don't worry, it's just doing its job ah, okay, you really listened to this episode, I would.
Kara Buller:I'll tell you I was distracted. Um, she's wearing pearls in the garden. She's wearing pearls while doing the composting. Yeah right, so here we're getting again. There is so much in this episode. Everything you look back, this is the origin story, or this is the seed planted Not literally, this episode, no seeds planted but metaphorically we see the earrings which are going to. You know she's going to eventually wear Hermes instead of Eddie Bauer.
Kara Buller:Okay, there's room to grow as far as her empire. So she's in the garden with her her pearl earrings and like what if she lost one of them? I mean, this is not she's, this is not the average person. There's money here and this is a little bit alienating, but at the same time, what we want is a fantasy. What we want is a garden fantasy. We got the pearls. Um, I also want to see she's wearing her pearls also white socks with black shoes.
Jeremy Wells:So yeah, I don't know. I think I hope the restrictions on white socks back in the 90s I don't think they were as stringent they are now okay I mean you don't buy white socks anymore. I don't think you know.
Kara Buller:No, no, yeah, it's a time of like custom socks, or expression socks Fun socks yeah. Like yeah, yeah, but very liberal sock policy. Right, you could do a white sock with a black and it looks like a gardening booty. It's like a little um, a low-grain boot um yeah, so which which is practical? So yeah, so I'm glad to see that you know um, yeah I also want to say this is a very 90s thing.
Kara Buller:I think. She's wearing a t-shirt and just one of the um the sleeve is like rolled up one inch or just like one little curl Do you remember that? Like t-shirts and then like flipped up Anyway.
Jeremy Wells:Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It seems like a very unnecessary thing to do right now, but I remember that. Yeah, it was important Just putting up your t-shirt, yeah.
Kara Buller:Yeah, yeah, very important. So now we go to the field trip oh wait, dear, I am sorry, I am not done with the compost. I feel like there is another layer I'd like to add okay, um she.
Kara Buller:She says never add meat or bones or stones or glass or glass, and there is something so soothing about her saying meat or bones or stones and I want to write a poem about martha, just called meat, bones and stones and um, yeah, yeah, oh, by the way, I look, I did look to see if we had any martha meltdown videos, like I mean on her show, on her live show, I think, because the pressure's there and I think they did it live to tape, like it wasn't edited you know, afterwards.
Jeremy Wells:She does get a little annoyed when things aren't there. Or, like you know, she's doing a demonstration on how to do something and there's no whisk there, or If there's a celebrity guest that she isn't very interested in, she'll. You'll know it.
Kara Buller:Some authenticity. Okay, all right, so maybe she doesn't really blow a gas, right there.
Jeremy Wells:I think it makes Eric, my boyfriend, very Uncomfortable because it's you can see she doesn't. She wears her irritation on her sleeve, like but I said I tell him that she's working. She's looking at the time. They have three minutes to bake this cake and she's working. She's looking at the time. They have three minutes to bake this cake and this celebrity guest is talking and she's cutting them off because she knows that she has to get this next thing and he's like why, why are they? Why is she cutting them off?
Kara Buller:Anyway, Uh-huh, uh-huh. Ok, I get it. Yeah, yeah, I feel like right now I'm the celebrity guest and you're looking at the clock and you're like Cara, we've got three more notes to hit. I need to get to the green market.
Jeremy Wells:I'm excited about the field trip. I want to give this to you because my first question is there a green market on 17th Street and Broadway and do you say Broadway? Where is the green market on 17th Street and Broadway and do you say Broadway? We're here at the Green Market and 17th Street and Broadway? I can't say it like her. What do you call it Broadway?
Kara Buller:Broadway yeah. She says it like that Okay, Well, do you see my sheet Now? This is very Martha right here. Do you see my sheet skin? Yes, very nice, it like that. Okay, well, do you see my sheet Now?
Jeremy Wells:this is very Martha right here, do you see my sheet?
Kara Buller:skin. Yeah, it's very nice, thank you. This is from 17th Street in Broadway. This is really cool.
Jeremy Wells:I like it.
Kara Buller:Thank you.
Jeremy Wells:Comfortable.
Kara Buller:It's from a farm in New Jersey. It's from a farm in New Jersey. Oh, it's real, it's real you can.
Jeremy Wells:How much was it?
Kara Buller:uh, 250. Okay, not have, but it was worth it.
Jeremy Wells:Yeah, yeah, so this is a very nice addition to the home um, can you tell us a little bit about the green market on 17th street and broadway?
Kara Buller:well, this is where a number of purveyors and vendors come in every Saturday and Sunday to sell their wares.
Jeremy Wells:So they shut the street. I'm guessing 17th Street, right?
Kara Buller:Actually, traffic continues on Broadway. It's at a park. It's like a square, a plaza if you will, where children can play and people can turn over their fifth step to their sponsor and their sex addiction program If they so choose. There's a lot going on 17th street and Broadway, um, so I love this because you can pick up, uh, barnes and noble, pick up your martha stewart living magazine, uh, which is three pages in it and cost seven pounds people are lots of like farmers markets in new york city, or is it just that one that that's in Manhattan, right?
Kara Buller:Right, that's the big one, that's the big one in the heart of Manhattan, okay, yeah, and that would be kind of close to Chelsea, like where she could walk to her studios, okay.
Jeremy Wells:Okay, yeah.
Kara Buller:But each neighborhood might have their own little row of showdowns, like Chicago, yeah, but each neighborhood might have their own little row of showdowns.
Jeremy Wells:Yeah, like Chicago, I feel like she's a little bit manic at the market, oh really. Yeah, I feel like she's like we're here with so-and-so and the mushrooms and these are wonderful flowers. She's very talkative and she's very like she's rushing. I like it. It's a step up from her convoys.
Kara Buller:But I also think this is like the shade of like nerdy Martha. Like she gets into, like the chemistry of the strawberry. These are very. Come from acrid soil or like she got her, like you know, very specific, Very needy strawberries yeah they look delicious.
Jeremy Wells:Yeah, yeah she. She mentions that there's. There's a sign like um, there's signs this apple cart or whatever, and they've given them descriptions, and one is it's sweet, tight and drippy and she says I bet you get a lot more people buy those. I was like Martha yeah, okay now.
Kara Buller:now we're going opening a new Avenue which we could really go down, which is the sexual Martha, yeah.
Jeremy Wells:I mean, I think that she's very sexual.
Kara Buller:Yeah, the New York Times article about her and Kevin, their relationship, like apparently they really enjoy, like if they're talking about eggplants or you know, like they really enjoy like some. Or they were eating hot dogs together and they were like making little jokes about like you know, know, the hot dog, right, it's very big and juicy. Yeah, she said good for her.
Jeremy Wells:Good for her, you know, yeah, do you even think more about the, the green, the green market at some street, I don't know?
Kara Buller:the green market did it. There was too much going on in the green market.
Jeremy Wells:I got got over it. What's that? Like I said, it was very busy. She was speaking over people Overall. It's like an entrance into her world or TV land. What do you think? I mean? What can you think? I mean, she's just she. Starts it out with a bang. I mean, what can you think?
Kara Buller:I mean, she's just she starts it out with a bang.
Jeremy Wells:I mean Except for the cherry preserves.
Kara Buller:We've got to find it. You know, I want to see, like, who's watching this. Like, okay, your mom and dad.
Jeremy Wells:That's what I.
Kara Buller:Like my dad doesn't need Martha. He was out composting. Also, my parents are like workaholics. They are not watching martha stewart like they are out doing what martha stewart is talking about.
Jeremy Wells:They are out living that like I wondered what your parents thought of martha stewart, if you remember at all I like I don't even know not on the radar no, no, like I, I have no idea.
Kara Buller:Like I, I guess it's like who did they have strong feelings about? No, we do not, we didn't, we weren't really a television family, or like well, my dad liked mary hart's legs. I remember once who didn't like mary hart I mean that's make uncomfortable comment. Oh, look at her legs, marry her.
Jeremy Wells:It was like a plastic desk right. It was like a Lucite desk where you could like see her. Obviously they were showcasing. My mom got the magazine, I think, before I was really interested in her, but I think she just liked to flip through magazines. You know, I don't think she really ever not that I remember did anything. Maybe, she did. Do you remember if?
Kara Buller:your mom had the Metropolitan Museum of Art catalog, the Christmas catalog came every year.
Jeremy Wells:Really, I didn't keep track.
Kara Buller:I think I tried to steal it from your family a couple times. Like does your mom need this.
Jeremy Wells:Okay, Well, it was very fun talking to you. It was very fun our first episode.
Kara Buller:Yeah, yeah, we have a lot more. We have more to talk about. Of course we have lots more.
Jeremy Wells:I mean, I want to talk about the man in her life.
Kara Buller:Well, alexis, I really you know me.
Jeremy Wells:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kara Buller:I want to hear the truth. I want to demand the truth. I deserve the truth. After spending 30 minutes on her website, I deserve the truth about her whole life, okay.
Jeremy Wells:Her properties, I think four Her time on the Apprentice, I mean that kind of like dovetails with obviously Trump and Comey, now James Comey.
Kara Buller:he wanted to go after her.
Jeremy Wells:She did go after her right.
Kara Buller:Successfully. Yeah, and he mentioned her in his book. He does not have good things to say about Many. Listen, many people do not have good things to say about Martha, but this is where we can come in and say and counterpoint check yeah, yeah 175 dollar royal copenhagen. I would not know about that mug unless it was open. You know our over whoa broiding slip. I'm confused here. I'm probably gonna end up buying that 175 royal copenhagen mug I know I would break it accidentally, not intentionally, that's.
Kara Buller:That's why you buy it is, yeah, for its fragility and its value. Um my parents wedding, uh, their china. For their wedding was royal copenhagen, so this is where you have kind of like she's speaking my. Dna, or this is in my DNA it's the Royal.
Jeremy Wells:Copenhagen. Is it really expensive? Is Royal Copenhagen really expensive?
Kara Buller:It is what my brother and sister and I will go to the mat over is the Royal Copenhagen.
Jeremy Wells:Your brother too, wow.
Kara Buller:That is the most valuable thing in that whole house.
Jeremy Wells:Is it because of the value? Or is it because, like, who and your family is gonna use the Royal Cove with hanging, who's gonna sell it?
Kara Buller:right, right, I consider it that you do not sell it it is a yes, the point is Martha brings. Martha is doing public service here by selecting these, putting them out there on the Martha shop. Yeah, right what we get right for our listeners is a complete compendium, not to give everyone homework, but I think it's pretty obvious that there is gonna be homework and just naturally we can give you a list of all the links and you know.
Jeremy Wells:Right, I did want to mention the Martha Stewart TV MarthaStewartTV. So it's $6.99. You can watch it on your phone, you can watch it on your desktop, you can watch it on your smart TV, just like Netflix. So if you want to follow along with us, I would recommend that highly Highly recommend.
Kara Buller:Well worth it $6.99. Yeah, I'll be renewing my yeah um all right well it has been a pleasure talking, martha, with you yeah, this is so much fun. I'm going to get my shot today and of course I am thinking did Martha get her shot? What kind of shot did she get?
Jeremy Wells:Yeah, you know, she did.
Kara Buller:I wonder if somebody arrived at her house with a special nurse like a private nurse came to Bedford.
Jeremy Wells:Maybe Kevin gave it to her.
Kara Buller:That. I tell you that relationship. So like he needs his space, you know what? I think he's down in marfa, texas now. I think he moved to texas oh, and martha texas.
Jeremy Wells:Like the name, like a city called martha martha.
Kara Buller:Yes, martha is like the hipster. There's a prada in martha. Okay, cool texas town, like dusty texas town and I need to find out when. Well, anyway, we're going to do a whole episode on Kevin.
Jeremy Wells:I'm getting ahead of myself. Yeah, definitely.
Kara Buller:Keep on, kevin, but yeah all right A pleasure.
Jeremy Wells:A pleasure to have you all and a pleasure to work with you. Cara Buller, and I am Jeremy Wells, and the music was by Jason Erlenborn, and you can look for him on Facebook at JazzaBaz J-A-Z-Z-A-Z-A-Z-A-Z-A-Z-A-Z-A-Z-A-Z-A-Z-A-Z-A-Z-A-Z-A-Z-A-Z-A-Z-A-Z-A and we're out.