The Legal Zone
The Legal Zone
Divorce: What to Expect
In this Episode, managing attorney Regina Campbell goes into depth on what to expect when filling for divorce.
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hi welcome back everybody
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uh this is a season one episode two of
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the legal zone
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brought to you by the campbell law group
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i'm regina campbell
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and today we're gonna talk to you about
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getting a divorce
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uh some of you out there might be going
0:19
through a divorce or have been through a
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divorce so you might be able to relate
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to some of the stuff that we're going to
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talk about today
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but i think it's really important to
0:26
maybe understand what to expect from a
0:28
divorce
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and even if you have been divorced
0:31
actually if you're going through a
0:32
second divorce you'll be surprised but
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sometimes it could be very different
0:35
than the first
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so there's still maybe some additional
0:37
tips that might be helpful for you
0:39
so getting a divorce it's it is one of
0:41
the major life-altering um
0:43
things that we might do in one of our
0:45
lives you know it's up there with the
0:46
stressful events
0:47
just as like a death or a move but it is
0:50
doesn't mean that it has to be
0:52
life-ending
0:53
or life-changing to the extent that um
0:57
you know everything comes to an end or
0:59
it's difficult you know it's
1:01
you know it's uncertainty and it just
1:02
changes your life you still
1:04
continue to be you you still continue to
1:07
have your children together if you do
1:08
have them together
1:09
we're going to go on in life and it's
1:11
important for you to know what to expect
1:13
in this process
1:14
so that you can actually hopefully come
1:16
out of it in good shape
1:18
and not just from a legal point of view
1:20
but from a personal point of view
1:22
so as someone that has been through a
1:23
divorce and actually very difficult
1:25
divorce
1:26
i can relate also from a personal level
1:28
not just as an attorney
1:30
but today we're going to come to a
1:31
little bit more and explain a little bit
1:32
more as an attorney what to expect
1:34
so whether or not it's possible you
1:36
might have been served
1:39
with papers in which case you
1:42
your partner you know whether it's your
1:44
husband or your wife
1:45
is actually already gone through the
1:47
process of starting with a call a
1:48
petition
1:49
a petition for dissolution so um
1:53
might be a surprise may not be a
1:54
surprise might have been something you
1:55
expected
1:56
sometimes in this process in the
1:58
petition you're going to notice that
1:59
it's going to indicate
2:00
what kind of relief that they're looking
2:01
for that may even be a surprise
2:04
but we'll talk a little bit more about
2:05
it doesn't always mean what it seems to
2:07
it's what it seems to be
2:09
saying in the petition and why sometimes
2:11
you do need to plead everything that is
2:13
required
2:14
um in order to preserve your rights but
2:16
it doesn't necessarily mean that the
2:18
your spouse is going to be entitled to
2:20
all of these
2:21
claims or allegations and potentially
2:23
they might have just put some of the
2:24
information in there
2:25
as needed from a legal sufficiency basis
2:29
this sometimes catches people by
2:30
surprise when they may have talked to
2:32
their spouse before the petition
2:34
and then they see the petition and they
2:35
say wow what is all this stuff in here
2:37
you know for instance we talked about no
2:39
alimony between each other
2:41
and hear the petition request alimony so
2:44
sometimes that's actually a function of
2:46
just the legal sufficiency or the
2:47
necessity potential of an attorney also
2:49
to preserve those rights for you in the
2:51
event you guys do not reach an agreement
2:53
so it's not always reason to be very
2:54
concerned but
2:56
let's take a step back for a moment
2:57
let's say you do not expect you were not
2:59
aware that your partner was going to
3:01
file for divorce
3:03
so in those circumstances the shock
3:06
alone and the
3:06
sort of um disbelief can take over quite
3:09
significantly and be very emotional and
3:11
understandably so this is a time when
3:14
actually to take a step back and not
3:16
react
3:17
immediately whether you know talking to
3:19
the other spouse
3:20
or going off um in a disarray it's
3:23
actually time to stop and think
3:25
about how you're going to react and
3:26
really what is going on okay
3:28
it is also a time to consult with an
3:30
attorney most of the time
3:32
you only have about 20 days in those
3:34
states in florida
3:35
for instance to actually file some kind
3:37
of motion for extension or an
3:38
answer in order to preserve your rights
3:41
under the petition
3:42
and at this time you also want to
3:44
consider whether you want to file
3:45
counter claims
3:46
which might be you know preserving your
3:48
rights to alimony
3:50
child support or certain medical
3:51
distributions also
3:53
that might be different than what your
3:54
partner had actually or your spouse had
3:56
actually requested
3:58
so taking a step back that's important
4:00
there's a time
4:01
sensitivity issue here if you are served
4:03
you want to make sure that you're
4:04
complying with the summons and the
4:06
required time period in which to respond
4:08
that's on a legal basis from a personal
4:11
as i indicated basis basically
4:13
just want to take a moment and breathe i
4:14
know it might be sort of
4:17
leave you without breath especially if
4:18
you're not expecting it but stop and
4:20
think about really what this may mean
4:22
and also you want to consider getting
4:25
potentially psychological help support
4:27
from your family although i'm going to
4:29
caution you from
4:30
trying to compare your case or your
4:32
potential life to some other divorce or
4:34
some other friends case and
4:36
or listening to stories about how
4:38
so-and-so
4:39
susie's husband did this some left susie
4:42
on the street
4:43
or you know susie left the husband on
4:45
the street and got everything
4:47
i would caution you against listening to
4:48
those stories as in the legal world
4:50
there's never there's very rarely
4:52
anything apples to apples so to speak
4:53
and everyone's life
4:54
and situation is very distinct so that's
4:57
step one
4:58
that's the petition stage that's sort of
5:00
a legal first step
5:02
now there are times in which people
5:03
might actually plan for divorce actually
5:05
might discuss it
5:06
and do it on a neutral basis uh
5:08
potentially follow joint petitions or
5:10
already have an idea how they want to
5:13
split their assets
5:14
or figure out the rights between each
5:16
other and in which case that actually
5:18
might make this process a little bit
5:19
easier and the petition
5:20
just becomes sort of the vehicle in
5:22
which you actually accomplished the
5:24
divorce
5:25
but the majority of the conversation
5:26
would happen beforehand
5:28
um a little bit more about that when i
5:30
we're going to talk a little bit about
5:31
coming to an agreement
5:32
you know it's a little bit further along
5:34
in the process one of the other things
5:36
you also want to
5:37
take into consideration when you think
5:38
about divorce or there
5:40
or there's been a divorce filed is any
5:42
administrative orders or rules
5:44
most states require sort of the
5:46
maintenance of a status quo
5:47
you want to be careful that you don't
5:49
have one of the parties starting to
5:51
empty out a bank account
5:52
or canceling health insurances life
5:54
insurances homeowners insurance
5:56
you know stopping to pay the mortgage
5:58
these are all sides that you're actually
5:59
going to have to act quickly
6:01
whether you are the petitioner or the
6:02
respondent courts
6:04
do not usually have the ability to act
6:07
very quickly when someone needs a
6:08
temporary support or relief
6:10
so from this point even from the moment
6:12
you file even a motion for support or
6:14
relief it could take at least three
6:15
four five months for a hearing to
6:17
actually occur on the issue
6:19
so part of is you want to consider plan
6:22
b also in the event that your spouse
6:23
does something like that hopefully they
6:25
do not they're supposed to maintain the
6:26
status quo
6:27
but unfortunately particularly in
6:29
contentious divorces i find that is a
6:31
source
6:31
to how can we say gain um bargaining
6:35
power
6:35
is by trying to starve out the other
6:37
party particularly if the other party
6:38
doesn't have access to
6:40
some of the marital funds to be able to
6:42
hire an attorney
6:43
it may be the less sophisticated party
6:45
as far as in terms of money
6:47
or knowing where the money is basically
6:49
so these are kind of telltale signs you
6:51
want to keep an eye out
6:52
you know the beginning of a divorce or
6:54
divorce proceedings
6:56
this can actually occur throughout the
6:57
divorce proceeding it might have started
6:59
off nice and then
7:00
it gets ugly when the other person
7:01
doesn't get its way
7:03
in most cases i find that reasonable
7:05
people can reach a solution and kind of
7:07
uh you know find a balance in between
7:09
not to sort of destroy everything that
7:11
you may have guys have created
7:12
and particularly disrupt the children if
7:14
there are children but a little bit more
7:16
about how to deal with those type of
7:17
difficult spouses
7:19
or situations a little bit later on in
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the podcast
7:22
so um usually in most states and in
7:25
florida specifically they're going to
7:26
require you to fill out financial
7:28
affidavits
7:29
which is basically indicating what your
7:31
financial circumstances and income is
7:33
under penalties of perjury
7:34
and of course required to produce the
7:36
minimum certificate you know it's
7:38
called a certificate of mandatory
7:39
disclosures which is the minimum
7:40
documents that must be exchanged between
7:42
the parties
7:44
so that's usually the next step in
7:45
addition to the fact that the court is
7:46
going to look into resolving any
7:48
temporary issues
7:49
if someone's moving out of the house you
7:51
may want to come up with temporary sort
7:53
of child support i mean not just child
7:54
support but time
7:55
sharing in florida we have time sharing
7:57
versus custody uh sort of arrangements
8:00
so that we can try to
8:01
have the least amount of disruption
8:02
possible for the family unit
8:04
uh particularly with children that are
8:06
not have no control over this and are
8:08
sort of in the middle and it's something
8:10
to be very cognizant of
8:12
and try to be as reasonable as you guys
8:16
can and bounce and
8:16
of course never involve the children in
8:18
these issues or discussions about
8:20
divorces or anything else going on
8:22
try to minimize their involvement on any
8:24
of this so that's
8:26
something else we'll also talk about
8:27
shortly but if you're having any of
8:29
these temporary issues they do need to
8:30
be mentioned early on in the case you do
8:32
not want to let the case go on
8:35
much further without getting some of
8:36
those temporary issues resolved
8:38
in cases where the parties stay together
8:40
and there's amicableness so to speak
8:42
uh i guess i'll make up a word there you
8:44
know you can go ahead and uh
8:46
a lot of times things will continue the
8:48
same each party will sort of do their
8:50
parental
8:50
roles and duties as they always did and
8:54
you will go through the process
8:55
basically the financials and kind of
8:57
come to
8:57
some kind of you know arrangement or to
8:59
go to trial but it will be handled a
9:01
more amicable basis
9:03
something else to keep in mind temporary
9:05
issues also include attorney fees
9:07
you want to make sure that you have the
9:08
right to attorney fees and to access to
9:10
money
9:11
so that you can't afford your own
9:13
attorneys not to protect your interest
9:16
in florida each party is entitled to
9:18
sort of similar type of attorneys
9:20
as the other party may have sometimes
9:21
you see one attorney has a hundred
9:23
thousand dollars to spend and the other
9:25
party might have gone through four
9:26
attorneys trying to get someone to take
9:28
the case basically
9:30
uh because they can't afford to pay
9:31
retainer or pay for attorney fees until
9:34
the court awards them so in most often
9:37
some of the
9:38
urgent situations you actually may find
9:40
yourself in might actually be for
9:41
emotion fraternities that you want to
9:43
consider
9:44
okay um next we kind of go on to sort of
9:47
the discovery stage so to speak of what
9:49
to expect
9:50
in a divorce and in a divorce basically
9:53
discovery is just sort of investigations
9:55
of what each party has it might be
9:57
beyond the minimals
9:58
just to find out what each what there
10:00
might be if there has been any extra
10:02
marital affairs is there any
10:04
portion of the marital assets to be
10:05
recovered is there any non-marital
10:07
assets that potentially have a marital
10:09
component to it that need to be divided
10:11
or is it to be left separate marital
10:14
assets determine evaluations
10:16
you know contributions to them
10:18
throughout the marriage especially after
10:19
mixed assets which is marital and
10:21
non-marital
10:22
and basically just figure out how you're
10:24
going to handle
10:25
sort of distributions which might
10:27
include a mortgage that you both might
10:28
be on
10:29
and what do we do now if we decide to
10:31
sell the house or if one of the parties
10:33
keeps the house what do we do
10:34
basically but one party's name is still
10:37
on the mortgage and can affect that
10:38
party's ability to go get another house
10:41
so these are things that get work
10:42
through sort of uncovered and sort of
10:44
organized during discovery
10:46
and unfortunately there's um it's ripe
10:48
for you know difficult cases where
10:50
people to hide money
10:52
someone's mother is holding on to their
10:54
older money throughout the marriage or
10:55
been
10:56
giving them assets or gifts so to speak
10:59
it becomes more complicated and can lead
11:01
to you know potentially protracted
11:03
litigation if you have some of those
11:04
issues
11:06
where money has gone missing or there's
11:07
been some shenanigans or potentially
11:09
even money being hidden within companies
11:11
so maybe under retained earnings
11:14
deferred compensations
11:16
international holding companies sort of
11:18
layered circumstances that require an
11:20
attorney and potentially even a forensic
11:22
accountant to
11:23
kind of help you unravel not just what
11:26
your distribution or your echo
11:27
distribution
11:28
may be from that particular company but
11:30
also what income might be available for
11:31
purposes of aluminium child support that
11:33
are sort of hidden under layers
11:35
as i like to call them so that's kind of
11:37
the discovery also this is where if you
11:38
have child
11:39
time sharing issues or parental
11:40
responsibility issues you also
11:43
conduct sort of evidence gathering
11:45
that's what we call the discovery
11:47
about the fitness of each parent so to
11:50
speak to be able to take care of the
11:51
children
11:52
whether it's on a 50 50 basis or whether
11:55
you want to
11:56
suggest that the other party has less
11:58
time with the children due to
11:59
job constraints or their inability maybe
12:01
to really
12:02
help do the children's responsibilities
12:04
such as take them to extracurriculars
12:06
and doctor's appointments
12:07
so this is the time also in some of that
12:09
investigation might be done
12:11
and the same thing with alimony alimony
12:13
during this time is basically
12:15
sort of discovery becomes a function of
12:17
the elements of what you have to prove
12:18
in order to get alimony if
12:20
if you are a potential candidate for
12:22
alimony
12:23
or your what your spouse's so allen
12:25
money is basically a function of need
12:27
and ability
12:28
so a need is does the other spouse have
12:31
a need
12:32
for income or a supplement of income in
12:35
order to be able to maintain
12:36
a similar lifestyle as that spouse had
12:38
during the marriage or
12:40
the party side during the marriage so
12:42
and then the other aspect and that's
12:43
figuring out what that is
12:45
how much is it that they need to have to
12:47
be able to live in the similar
12:48
sort of lifestyle i did during the
12:50
marriage and you know this
12:51
unfortunately it's also an area that can
12:53
be litigated uh you know
12:55
at one point someone thinks that they
12:56
used to live in a mansion and had five
12:58
maids and of course their alien money
12:59
needs are fairly high
13:01
or you can have the circumstances when
13:02
the other spouse thinks that the
13:04
other that the spouse's needs are
13:06
basically you know
13:07
tantamount to you know if you have food
13:10
and water that's all that you need
13:12
uh in order to maintain the lifestyle
13:13
the marriages of course is not often the
13:15
case
13:16
so the truth usually lies somewhere in
13:17
the middle but this is a time in which
13:19
you gather
13:20
evidence in order to you know uh
13:23
meet your burden as to what the needs
13:24
may be and of course the other side is
13:26
going to argue against them
13:27
so this is the time that you might
13:28
gather evidence related to alimony
13:30
you also may want experts also forensics
13:32
that might help you assist
13:34
in what they call a lifestyle analysis
13:36
the other half of alimony is also
13:38
ability
13:38
so you have to show that the other party
13:40
still has the ability to pay the alimony
13:42
even if you are entitled to or have a
13:44
need
13:45
once again discovery about income you
13:47
know evidence gathering does it you know
13:49
often unfortunately we call it divorce
13:51
poverty the
13:52
one of the one or both of the parties
13:53
all of a sudden become sort of poor
13:56
or starting to make a significant amount
13:57
less money uh right you know right
13:59
before the divorce or during the divorce
14:01
in order to try to avoid or reduce their
14:03
alimony and child support obligations
14:05
this is a lot of the stuff that you're
14:06
going to go through in discovery
14:08
and for the most part you know this is
14:10
sort of that's the evidence gathering
14:12
stage
14:13
and throughout this entire time just to
14:14
kind of go back to the human side the
14:16
personal side
14:17
it's usually a very difficult time
14:19
you're asked very difficult question
14:20
jurassico gathered documents
14:22
from years previous
14:25
unfortunately it's also ripe for
14:27
harassment in some respects just asking
14:29
for things that might be
14:30
you know way to the left and way to the
14:31
right it's very important that you have
14:33
a support
14:34
you know network you have people to lean
14:35
on to help you with the children
14:37
and that you breathe you remain calm and
14:39
just try to think about really
14:40
objectively as
14:41
much as you can this is just part of the
14:44
process this is what's going on stop and
14:45
think about
14:46
sort of the big picture items and just
14:48
remember it will pass as difficult as it
14:50
may
14:51
seem everything passes in life
14:55
so most of the time with this you know
14:58
it's starting to get expensive into
14:59
cases hopefully the attorneys have had
15:01
discussions about potentially cutting
15:03
through some of the
15:04
red tape looking at big picture items
15:06
and considering potentially settling
15:09
and especially now that you might have
15:10
more information in order to be able to
15:11
make that determination and whether or
15:12
not you settle over does this make sense
15:14
really to take this to court
15:16
so hopefully you're also leaning
15:17
yourself into potentially going to
15:18
mediation
15:20
okay if you go into mediation that's you
15:23
know most of the time 90
15:24
of the cases settle the mediation but
15:26
it's important to go into mediation with
15:27
enough information to actually settle
15:29
the case if you go into mediation
15:30
without having
15:32
at least a reasonable amount of the
15:33
discovery done where you feel confident
15:35
that you have a handle on
15:36
your assets the children's issues
15:38
alimony income
15:39
you really might just be doing it
15:40
prematurely and setting yourself up
15:42
potentially
15:42
either for a bad agreement or not being
15:46
able to settle
15:46
and losing the opportunity in which
15:48
order to do so usually after mediation
15:51
also comes trial trial is usually
15:53
or it's around the corner trial can
15:54
become extremely expensive
15:56
when you have to start establishing
15:58
trial exhibits
15:59
uh witnesses depositions uh paying for
16:02
deposition transcripts it can become
16:04
it's actually a very uh very costly
16:06
process
16:07
those probably most of the reason why a
16:09
lot of the cases do settle in mediation
16:10
also
16:12
and to take a so take a moment also to
16:14
go back so mediation also is helpful
16:16
if you understand that
16:20
no one they say a good bargain is no one
16:22
is completely happy
16:23
so you have to understand what your best
16:25
in court and your worst day and court
16:26
potentially is
16:28
and try to put your feet down on the
16:29
ground and try to make a find a
16:31
reasonable balance in between
16:33
it's not a happy place to be in
16:35
litigation it's a very difficult from a
16:36
psychological financial point of view
16:38
and emotional
16:40
and throughout all this conversation
16:41
we're having the difficulties that we're
16:43
talking about and evidence gathering and
16:45
you know papers and what do the
16:46
petitions say and someone said this
16:48
about me when it's not true how can they
16:50
say that about me
16:51
and you're going through all these
16:52
allegations and these difficulties
16:53
remember your children
16:54
depending on their age they're sitting
16:56
there going through this with you even
16:57
if you try to hide it
16:59
they can always feel it they see the
17:00
difference of course they feel the
17:01
difference the family unit is not the
17:03
same
17:04
so you want to consider also you know
17:06
making sure the children are not around
17:08
when you have these conversations or
17:09
conversations with adults
17:11
making sure they're not being used as
17:12
messengers if they need to they should
17:14
be
17:14
sent to family therapist so they can be
17:16
able to talk about their feelings
17:18
with a neutral third party so they don't
17:20
feel worried about hurting one of the
17:22
parents
17:22
sort of feeling so to speak depending on
17:24
what's going on
17:25
and keep an eye on their emotional
17:27
psychological needs as well
17:29
so throughout this process it's
17:30
something that you want to keep in mind
17:32
and if your other party is also
17:34
involving the children you need to
17:36
consider whether or not you need to take
17:37
immediate action to sort of eliminate
17:38
the
17:39
the interference with one with with your
17:41
rights or potentially the harm that's
17:42
occurring to the children
17:44
so something else to keep in the back of
17:46
your mind
17:47
so here we are i've just briefly just
17:50
gone through
17:50
you know i have additional podcasts i
17:52
kind of take apart each different stage
17:54
and sort of different elements within
17:55
each stage
17:56
but today i'm coming to the end here and
17:58
sort of we're talking about trial
18:00
trial is at the end of the day you are
18:02
leaving
18:03
your lives in the hands of a judge to
18:05
make a decision as to what is the best
18:07
thing for you and your children
18:10
the judges will do their best as they
18:12
always do but judges will tell you
18:13
themselves
18:14
you guys know what's better for you and
18:16
your children than i necessarily would
18:19
if i have to i'll make a decision i'll
18:21
listen to all the evidence how it's
18:22
presented and hopefully i will make the
18:23
best decision for you
18:25
but ultimately the best thing would be
18:27
is if the parties can come to a
18:29
resolution themselves
18:30
and talk about it and find the right
18:32
balance for their family
18:34
whether from an economical point of view
18:35
but also from a custody and time
18:37
sharing and frontal responsibility point
18:39
of view remember at the end of the day
18:41
this is only part of your life
18:42
you will go on to have a post-divorce
18:44
life so you don't you know that what you
18:46
do now and all the difficulties you
18:47
occur
18:48
is going to limit potentially your
18:50
post-divorce life
18:51
and add or subtract if it's done
18:55
reasonably you'll subtract your
18:56
headaches from the post-divorce life if
18:58
you know if it's been very contentious
19:00
and difficult it's going to add to
19:01
difficulties that you carry on to the
19:03
post-divorce life
19:04
so any judge will tell you the best
19:07
thing to do is if you guys can make a
19:08
decision on your own and come to an
19:09
agreement it's always better
19:10
if not the judge will have to make a
19:12
decision based on the evidence
19:14
what they think is best for you and your
19:15
family whether it is or is not
19:18
so it's something to consider uh trial
19:20
is she's sitting like you see on tv
19:22
you're sitting in the stand
19:24
you know you're testifying you're having
19:25
to bring friends most of the time
19:27
children will not be brought into a
19:28
court or brought as a witness
19:30
if you have a type of case that requires
19:32
the children to be involved or
19:34
the children are being you know severely
19:36
sort of put in harm's way whether it's
19:37
psychological or emotional or physical
19:39
a guardian will be appointed and the
19:41
guardian potentially will be there as
19:42
well
19:43
along with other experts but it's not
19:45
like a tv in the sense that well
19:47
johnny said that you said you're having
19:50
an affair with somebody that
19:51
doesn't work that way that's hearsay you
19:53
have to bring in evidence you have to
19:54
you have to authenticate
19:55
documentation a lot of the stuff you
19:57
think that's going to come in probably
19:58
will not be heard or can be considered
20:00
by a court
20:01
so these are all things you really need
20:02
to understand and they're not easy to
20:04
hear a lot of my clients when they hear
20:06
me say this they're just like
20:08
wait this isn't rational logical and it
20:10
is because if you understand you know in
20:12
a lot of cases i'll agree some things
20:13
may not seem rational logical
20:15
but they're based on rules of evidence
20:16
and a mess ability to make sure that
20:18
what's being presented to the court is
20:20
competent and not tainted so to speak in
20:23
any way so that we
20:24
um it can't be johnny said susie said
20:27
out of court this one day because we
20:28
really don't know what susie said unless
20:30
he's in the courtroom to be able to
20:31
testify so it has to be based on within
20:33
the
20:34
you know evidence presented within the
20:35
rules of evidence which becomes starts
20:36
become very expensive and subpoena in
20:38
people and making sure they're present
20:40
and so forth and that could be really
20:42
complicated in international cases
20:44
you know where you have jurisdictions
20:45
and and you know houses and
20:48
children flying traveling everywhere
20:49
living in different spots during the
20:50
marriage
20:51
so it's just something to consider but
20:53
hopefully i've given you some idea of
20:54
what to expect
20:55
you know really from a legal technical
20:57
point of view and hopefully somewhat
20:58
from a human point of view
21:00
um i want to thank you all for tuning in
21:02
again and for for joining us we're going
21:04
to have our third
21:05
uh you know episode coming up i think in
21:08
a week or two we'll go ahead and
21:09
announce it and i just want to i hope
21:11
you know i hope this has been helpful
21:14
thank you for joining us this week in
21:16
our podcast and we should be uh please
21:18
join us for our next podcast that'll be
21:19
coming up soon i think in the next week
21:21
or two
21:22
uh please make sure you follow us on our
21:23
social media pages and subscribe to our
21:25
youtube channel
21:27
we look forward to seeing you next time
21:28
thank you