Episode 137 – Beliefs, Facts, and Reality

These days it seems as if there are as many different perspectives and viewpoints as there are people.  We often believe what we hear, and think it’s reality or fact, when it’s actually just someone’s opinion not based on anything real.  Unfortunately, differing opinions like this have caused a huge divide among political parties, communities, and even friends and families.  In today’s episode of Your Personal Power Pod, we’re looking at what beliefs, facts, and reality are, and how to work with them to foster positive relationships instead of letting them divide us.

We want to hear from you, whether it’s your stories about how self-esteem and personal power affect your life, or topics you’d like us to address in future episodes. 

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Thank you for listening to Your Personal Power Pod.  We look forward to hearing from you.

And, until next time, find your power and change your life!

Transcript

Shannon: [00:00:00] Welcome to Your Personal Power Pod, a podcast about aligning yourself with the life you want. And here are your hosts, Sandy Abel and Shannon Young

Sandy: Shannon. Hey Sandy. How are you? I'm great. How are you? 

Shannon: I am doing well. I am excited that. We finally have cold weather. I'm irritated that it's not doing anything like 

Sandy: or snowing or raining, 

Shannon: but it finally feels like winter. And I know to some people that's not an exciting prospect. But I like winter. Well, it's good to have seasons.

Yeah. It frustrates me when we get to December and it still feels like September. Yeah. There's supposed to 

Sandy: be a difference. Well, I wanna wear my boots and my sweaters, you know? Right. I can't do that when it's warm. It's hard to dress cozily when it's 

Shannon: 95 degrees outside. That's a [00:01:00] kind of, in a roundabout way, what we're talking about today is things that are made up or factual or otherwise real.

Yeah. 

Sandy: Yes. And this is a really important topic. These things are, because these days it seems as if there are so many different perspectives. There's as many viewpoints as there are people, 

Shannon: which is fine. Viewpoints are fine. 

Sandy: Right, but we often believe what we hear and think it's a fact or a reality when actually it's just somebody's opinion and not based on anything real.

We get confused and we're not really sure what is going on. The problem is that differing opinions like this. Often cause huge divides. Mm-hmm. Between political parties or communities or friends or families. Mm-hmm. I know families who have differences of opinion about things. They believe something different than the other person in the family and it's broken up the family, which is just tragic.

Mm-hmm. This is such an important topic. We're going to dive into it. So you wanna start with beliefs. Beliefs [00:02:00] are your subjective convictions or opinions that you hold to be true. It's like when I was a kid, my mother would say, close the refrigerator. Don't stand there with the door open while you figure out what you want.

I would like, oh, okay. All right. Why? We've got electricity. It's all good. But her belief came from when she was a kid and they didn't have electric refrigerators, they had ice boxes. Hmm. And they put ice in them to make them cold. So if you stood there with the door open, it would let all the cold out. And she was right.

But she hadn't adjusted her belief to when we got electricity. I sound like I'm from the 18 hundreds, but we did have electricity when I was a kid. But she still had the belief that if you stood there with the door open, all the cold would go out and the food would spoil. And that was just a belief without direct evidence because things had changed.

Shannon: That's a great example. I kind of do the same thing when it comes to unplugging things that aren't in use. I have [00:03:00] this weird feeling that I need to unplug the toaster when I'm done using it because of fire risk, and I don't think that's a thing anymore. I think there's probably some energy waste if I just leave it plugged in all the time, but it's just a, an ingrained belief that I haven't.

Ever questioned. Really? That drives the rest of my family batty. Can't you just leave the appliances plugged in 

Sandy: and I dunno, I thought that too. So we might wanna check that out. Right? 

Shannon: But I think that right there, the willingness to look at your belief is key because so often we get entrenched in our beliefs and we can't take in new information and adjust them.

Sandy: That's the thing that is the important thing. 

Shannon: So what do we do to do that? Is that where the facts come into play? 

Sandy: Well, facts are objective realities that can be verified through evidence. 

Shannon: Facts are 

Sandy: provable. They are provable, they're universal, independent of personal feelings or beliefs. For instance, the statement water boils at a hundred degrees CELs.

[00:04:00] At C level is a fact because it can be tested and proven. So facts are things that remain constant and regardless of whether you believe in them or not, they're there. They're real, 

Shannon: which is why, and we are not gonna get political here at all, but why the phrase alternative facts just gets under my skin as a former newsy, as somebody whose job it was to suss out the truth and shine light in the dark places and report the facts.

Mm-hmm. There are no alternative facts. A fact is what's real. It may be disproven later, but right now the proof is this. 

Sandy: Exactly. So what is an alternative fact? I've not heard that. 

Shannon: It's basically spin or a lie that somebody's telling to get you to believe a certain thing. They're using the word fact to give what they're saying.

Credibility. Right. But it's not a fact. Right. 

Sandy: Got it. Yeah. There's no such thing. And then there's reality which encompasses the state of things as they actually exist, combining both facts and perceptions. 

Shannon: Reality is tough. 

Sandy: [00:05:00] It really depends 

Shannon: on who's looking at it. 

Sandy: Yeah. You can see a situation, and for some people their reality is, oh no, this is terrible.

And for other people it's like, oh, this doesn't feel too good. But it's an opportunity for growth. Yes. And so one sees it as a positive reality. Even though it might be a difficult situation, the other person sees it as the end of the world. 

Shannon: This is why eyewitnesses took crimes. Are so unreliable. Exactly.

Everybody can be watching the same thing and then report what they saw totally differently. 

Sandy: Exactly. And they believe that. They believe what they saw. They put their own interpretation, their own spin on it, but it's not a fact. Mm-hmm. So we all create our own reality. You and I talk about that a lot. Yes.

We talk about the power of positive thinking and create the life you want. Instead of letting it create itself, and your reality is shaped by your experience, but it also includes objective truth and facts that you can verify. 

Shannon: So these three things all kind of intertwine beliefs, facts and reality.

Sandy: Exactly. Beliefs can influence your perception of [00:06:00] reality, like we just said, often leading you to interpret. Facts in ways that reinforce your existing beliefs. Yes. Like you said, when somebody sees something happen, one person is gonna see it one way, another person's gonna see it a totally different way, so then it gets confusing.

Shannon: Yeah, very much so. And I think especially in situations like politics where people tend to dig in on whatever side they're on, and then the more somebody questions them, the more they brace and hold the fort and stay believing what they believe. It can be very challenging to allow in new information and then also question your beliefs and how that's playing into your perspective.

Exactly. You get really attached to those beliefs, 

Sandy: right? That happens in religion a lot too, or all kinds of other things. People think that their beliefs are really facts and they don't check 'em out to verify. They just say, no, this is the way it is. It's like my mother with the refrigerator. I finally [00:07:00] challenged her and said, what is this about?

And she explained, and then she said, but you know, there's no ice making this cold. It's okay to stand there with the door open for a little bit. You're still wasting electricity, but the food isn't gonna spoil, right? You have to be willing to look at what your beliefs are and don't confuse them with facts 

Shannon: and understand what a fact is.

Sandy: Yes, get clear on that and have informed dialogue with people. Differentiate and look at what you can prove and what isn't provable, 

Shannon: especially today when you can find just about anything online to back up any belief you have. Yes, I think it's really important, and this is one of the things we talk about with our journalism students.

Just because you find the information you're looking for doesn't mean it's true. You also have to figure out how to vet your sources. Yes, absolutely. Being informed yourself and understanding that there's a difference between taking what Joe Rogan says as fact and then taking what scientists. Say is fact.

They're different. And [00:08:00] there are plenty of people who are holding up both pieces of information and saying they weigh the same and they don't. There's a lot more weight given to things that can actually be proven. 

Sandy: Exactly. So if you wanna challenge your beliefs, first of all, like you said, recognize them and then take some time to reflect on your core beliefs.

What do you hold to be true about yourself and others and the world and get clear. About if these are really your beliefs or those given to you by other people. Because most of us, when we're young, are given beliefs for our parents. They teach us about the world. They teach us about religion. They teach us about relationships.

They teach us about government. And until we get old enough to make our own decisions and really look at things, we carry our parents' beliefs. So if you wanna challenge 'em, you're probably an adult now. So ask yourself, what do I believe not, what are others saying? 

Shannon: I found that in my world it helps to relabel my beliefs as philosophies.

Ah, A philosophy is more like a working [00:09:00] belief. It's adjustable, right? Whereas a belief feels very entrenched. 

Sandy: Yes. It's set in stone. It can't be changed. This is what we believe, right? It gets a little difficult if it's not really true. 

Shannon: Like I mentioned a minute ago. Question the source. Like you said, did your parents hand you these beliefs?

Did your school or your church hand you your beliefs? And if so, that doesn't necessarily automatically make them. Bad. You may evaluate them and decide that they still work for you, but you have to take into account whether they're based on personal experiences, cultural influences, information from other sources that you've just accepted blindly, or whether you've questioned it and tested it.

What evidence do you have that your beliefs are supported? 

Sandy: Just understanding the origins of your beliefs can reveal biases and assumptions. That may not be valid and it might have been valid then. Mm-hmm. Like my mother in the icebox, things change. Situations change, society changes. You change, you change.

And they might not be valid for you where [00:10:00] you are now and who you are now. Mm-hmm. Beliefs can shift. But you have to be aware of them in order to make that happen, 

Shannon: and you have to be open to entertaining opposing viewpoints or at least engaging with them. If your belief can't be tested, then it might not have the validity you think it does.

Sandy: Tested or proven. And there are lots and lots and lots of those that people just ignore what proves them wrong or proves that their beliefs are not real 

Shannon: well. I think that comes into part of your identity. There are plenty of people who define themselves by their beliefs. Yes, and if your beliefs can be challenged, then who does that make you?

So being able to tease apart your belief from who you actually are then makes it so that those beliefs can be put to the test. 

Sandy: You have to be able to separate and then look at all the separate parts and make sure that you use empathy. When you encounter someone with a different belief, listen and try to understand their experiences and emotions [00:11:00] instead of trying to change their mind, you might learn something.

Also, they might learn something if you actually have a calm, rational conversation. Oh, that's 

Shannon: so hard 

Sandy: these 

Shannon: days. 

Sandy: I don't see it happening much. No. Everybody just says, this is the way it is, and my influencer tells me this, and somebody else says, well, my influencer says that, and he's right and she's wrong, and oh my goodness.

So empathy is so important because it allows you to step outside of your own biases and see the world through another's eyes. I 

Shannon: think that's it. It can be interesting to let somebody tell you what they believe, but I feel like today our discourse has gotten so much meaner. It's not like, okay, you disagree with me.

Why do you disagree with me? It's you disagree with me, you're a terrible person. Right. And that leaves no room for conversation. And it also leaves no room for the scientific method, you know? 

Sandy: Exactly, exactly. And unfortunately, sometimes it escalates into [00:12:00] violence because one person doesn't believe what another does.

Mm-hmm. And that is just terrifying. I wish we had more empathy. 

Shannon: So if we're listening and empathizing with other people who have different beliefs, then how should we be talking to ourselves about our own beliefs? 

Sandy: Just being honest and nonjudgmental. You analyze your beliefs critically in order to help you make informed decisions.

It's not about proving yourself, right? It's about seeking the truth, what is real, and you have to create a safe space for yourself and for all that to happen with other people. 

Shannon: Like I have beliefs about the universe and. God and spiritual things like that that differ from the churches I went to when I was young and the Catholic school I went to when I was in fifth and sixth grade.

And I know what feels right to me, right? But I don't expect that to feel right to other people because I was given a lot of information earlier on that people [00:13:00] felt very strongly about that didn't feel right for me. And so I don't understand this. You need to believe the way I believe situation. When I like kayaking.

Plenty of people don't like water. Like nobody's mad about that. So I don't understand why we get so hung up on other people agreeing with us, unless it's that we just need that validation. 

Sandy: You're right, people want validation and sometimes they want control. Mm. The bottom line is that you have to understand that the difference between beliefs, facts, and reality can help you engage in more productive conversations and make better informed decisions.

Challenging your beliefs isn't always easy, but it's an important part of maintaining relationships and personal growth 

Shannon: and you know it's possible to enhance your world by letting go of certain beliefs. Absolutely. You could just be evolving. It doesn't mean you're a bad person, [00:14:00] it doesn't mean you don't have conviction, it just means you're growing.

Sandy: Exactly. Just look at the facts in reality, considering alternative perspectives. And expand your understanding of the world, which will help create positive relationships and bring more harmony and empathy to you and everybody in your world. Yeah. Yeah.

So we hope that our wonderful listeners step back a little, look at your beliefs, see where they came from, and if they still apply, if it's really important for other people to follow along with those. Or if maybe you wanna shift a little bit, give 

Shannon: yourself 

Sandy: that grace in that room. Thanks, mama and thank you Shannon, and thank you to our wonderful listeners.

We really appreciate you spending time with us as we explore all these amazing, fascinating things, 

Shannon: and we love it when you talk to us online. So tell us your stories about self-esteem. Tell us what's mattering to you [00:15:00] right now, what you're struggling with, what we can help you with if you've got ideas for future episodes.

I know we have some in the works that were requested by listeners. 

Sandy: Yes, and thank you. Yes, and 

Shannon: thank you for letting us know what you're interested in. That is so helpful. And if you have time and the inclination, we'd love for you to review our podcast, and you can do that wherever you stream. Or you can just visit your personal power pod.com, click contact and drop us an email.

I think also on certain streaming apps, you can text us and also you can subscribe to our YouTube channel and then share our podcast with your friends and family so they can learn alongside you. And if you wanna learn about coaching, which I highly recommend, get in touch with Sandy at sandy@insidejobscoach.com.

We look forward to hearing from you. And until next time, find your power and change your life