Cleaning out a garage leads to a conversation about inner transformation and the truth of living joyfully. Learn how to break free from old patterns and embrace your life of abundance.
“You can transform through pain and suffering or you can transform through joy and abundance and the magic of life” ~ Daniel Goodenough
Did you know that you have a choice?
The tendency to fight, or to run away, pervades our society, and those are both places of pain and suffering, which does transform us. And it comes at a great cost: it's exhausting, not sustainable, causes illness, increases aging, and wears away resilience.
What if instead the world was actually always wanting to give to you? What if you didn't have to fix or force or fight anything? What if you were already enough?
Today’s podcast starts off with cleaning out Maren’s garage and leads to the end result of knowing that something good is not only coming your way, but gives you the tools necessary to be awake and aware to capture it, to be present to it. It’s the roadmap to living the magic of life.
Follow along with Stephanie and Maren as they deconstruct spring cleaning, walk through ‘stop and drop’, and address everything from the itty bitty shitty committee to shifting the whole paradigm.
If you’re tired of fighting, of having the same issues follow you from job to job, relationship to relationship, situation to situation and you are ready to really look, listen and feel to what's going on inside - your freedom resides in this podcast.
04:29 the burnt pot
07:39 gold in the caca-poopoo-ness, making space internally and externally
11:59 healing or adapting?
13:12 Movie theater practice
18:16 It’s an inside job - what does that mean and how do you do it
Cleaning out a garage leads to a conversation about inner transformation and the truth of living joyfully. Learn how to break free from old patterns and embrace your life of abundance.
“You can transform through pain and suffering or you can transform through joy and abundance and the magic of life” ~ Daniel Goodenough
Did you know that you have a choice?
The tendency to fight, or to run away, pervades our society, and those are both places of pain and suffering, which does transform us. And it comes at a great cost: it's exhausting, not sustainable, causes illness, increases aging, and wears away resilience.
What if instead the world was actually always wanting to give to you? What if you didn't have to fix or force or fight anything? What if you were already enough?
Today’s podcast starts off with cleaning out Maren’s garage and leads to the end result of knowing that something good is not only coming your way, but gives you the tools necessary to be awake and aware to capture it, to be present to it. It’s the roadmap to living the magic of life.
Follow along with Stephanie and Maren as they deconstruct spring cleaning, walk through ‘stop and drop’, and address everything from the itty bitty shitty committee to shifting the whole paradigm.
If you’re tired of fighting, of having the same issues follow you from job to job, relationship to relationship, situation to situation and you are ready to really look, listen and feel to what's going on inside - your freedom resides in this podcast.
04:29 the burnt pot
07:39 gold in the caca-poopoo-ness, making space internally and externally
11:59 healing or adapting?
13:12 Movie theater practice
18:16 It’s an inside job - what does that mean and how do you do it
In a world where we have everything and it's still not enough, we're often left wondering, is this really it?
Maren Oslac:
Deep inside, you know, there's more to life, you're ready to leave behind the old push your way through and claim the deeper, more meaningful life that's calling you.
Stephanie Allen:
That's what we invite you to explore with us.
Maren Oslac:
We're your hosts,
Stephanie Allen:
Stephanie Allen and
Maren Oslac:
Maren Oslac. And this is the soulful leader podcast.
Stephanie Allen:
Yay. (laughter)
Maren Oslac:
Welcome to the Soulful Leader Podcast. I'm Maren and I'm here with Stephanie. I was doing some spring cleaning today. And I found myself in a conundrum of really wanting to just get rid of stuff and start fresh. And then feeling the disgust with how easy it would be for me to just toss all this crap that I haven't touched, I've collected, I've bought, I've spent and invested money and time and effort in and it no longer serves me, and how easy it is to just to...boop! It's gone.
Stephanie Allen:
Out of sight out of mind, it's great, right? It's been out of sight, it has not been out of mind. Because it's always tugging. You know, when you've got that junk drawer, and it's always tugging at you. Well, I have a junk garage, and our junk garage is a four car garage full of crap. And I really kind of just wanted to like, pull up a dumpster and dump it all, and then not worry about what was in there and just move on. And it hurt my heart. So that's one part of me. Right. The other part of me was that I was like, there's a lot of really good stuff in there. That is either just, you know, it's gotten dirty. It's been in our garage for years. And so it seems like it's no good anymore, or somebody else could use and and I just, I thought I'd bring that to our podcast because I think that a lot of people right now are in a place of like just barely being able to make ends meet. And I wonder how much of it is because we live in such a disposable society? Yeah, yeah. And the high cost of low price.
Maren Oslac:
Yeah, because it's so cheap. Like things are so inexpensive. And even though like, I'll just get another one. Yeah, I can get rid of all of that stuff. And then I'll buy new what I need, instead of what's in there that could be donated that could be refurbished. I made a conscious choice to actually go through everything in my garage, rather than just dump it. And I'm actually quite amazed at how much stuff that's in there, once I cleaned it, because that's all it needed, was it needed to be cleaned or repaired or whatever, once I was done like, Oh, that's really helpful, that's really useful. Oh, I know, somebody who could use this, it was like, it was a treasure trove that would end up in a landfill. And me buying more stuff that is going to end up in a landfill. That destructive cycle was broken, because I decided to stop and be conscious.
Stephanie Allen:
So this is really interesting, because we're talking about the outer world stuff, and how much you know, we could just buy a bigger house, buy another garage, buy another storage unit and put our stuff in it right? And I'm making this as a metaphor because we do this in our inner world too. You know that the ca ca poo-pooness ,the itty bitty shitty committee, all that stuff that we have. And we just stuff it aside and we don't stop long enough to be still to really look listen and feel to what's going on inside ourselves. We just stay distracted. We shop. We talk, we meet, eat, spend whatever, you know, travel whatever, as a way of escapism, rather than being with what is. I had a neighbor one time and I had a beautiful stainless steel pot that I wasn't paying attention to when I was cooking and it burnt and it burnt so bad. I just picked it up and threw it out my back door. Like because it was in the wintertime so it was probably half on fire and I just threw it out the back door and I just left it and my intention was just to throw it out. But the next morning I got up and I realized that the pot was gone. It disappeared. I'm like that's strange who would have stolen a burnt pot and it was two days later, the pot returned to my front door with a note in it all spick and span and shiny. And the person saying, you know, you need to learn how to pay more attention to your cooking for one, and don't throw out a good pot. Here's how you clean it. And she had cleaned it for me and given it back. Now I threw it out because, well, okay, fine, I'll just get another. And I'm saying this, because I'm also making the metaphor of the internal, it's like, how often do we just take what we think or feel? And say, oh, yeah, that's me. Yeah, I'm a horrible person, I'm not good enough. And then how that internal clogging up, actually makes us behave in the outer world. So, you know, we'll go shopping more, or we'll try to make ourselves feel better by eating or doing something that distracts us.
Maren Oslac:
But also, you know, using that metaphor of how often do we throw something out, like a relationship, or a friendship, or a job, or whatever, because we're not willing to stop and look at what might be going on inside of us. So we just go on to the next one. And just like the pot, like, if you didn't know any better, and you're still not paying attention, you're gonna burn that pot too. And you want to in turn, throw that one out and get a new one. Right? So we find ourselves back in the same situation, in a different relationship, or a different job. But it's the same issue. And the antidote is, and this is what I'm finding both inner and outer, you know, as I go through my garage, that's really the antidote is the stopping and saying, I choose to do this consciously. Yeah. You know, I'm in choice.
Stephanie Allen:
Carl Jung would say this is your shadow work. You know, and the shadow isn't always the dark. It's what your gifts, your strengths, the things that you might not want to show the world that you put in a closet, you put in the darkness. So it doesn't mean that they're bad qualities. But sometimes, and I think you might have found this, too, that as you start to go through some of the things to give away instead of just putting it in a landfill, but that actually take responsibility for what is inside ourselves, not out of shame but out of curiosity and wonder, like.... what was I thinking? And perhaps there's somebody who could really use this, there seems to be so much struggle right now. Like maybe this, maybe I'm having this and I can carry this on and move it to someone else. You know, we can do that with our internal landscape too. So the thoughts, the beliefs, the ca ca poo-pooness, it's like, sometimes it actually is actually serving us. And when we can get the insight and awareness, then it becomes gold, rather than taking up energy and space. So when someone says, I don't have any space, I don't have any energy, or I'm in pain, it's often because there's a latent potential that's been squashed in there, that is ready. It's like springtime, like, you know, the daffodill and the flowers that are just bursting through now in the springtime to come up. It's like it's been dark for a long, long time. And now if it's rearing its its head, it's because it's safe to come out. So whatever someone might be feeling, and this is why spring cleaning isn't just about cleaning out the garage. It can be about cleaning out our own hearts and our own minds and our dreams and our the things we we might have put on the backburner. But those become costly, because they take your energy. Even though you don't see what's in the garage, and you don't see what's in that junk drawer. You know, it's there, and it will take your awareness away from that, that really deserves to have more of your time and energy.
Maren Oslac:
There is a part of you that is always has attachments in that so it does pull our time and our energy. I really liked what you said about when, like when the flowers come up, and they pop out of the ground or the weeds or the dandelions, right? It's all there. Because it's time, it's time for it. And if we look at that, for the inner metaphor, when that sadness comes up, or that anger comes up, or that frustration comes up, or that voice that says... Oh, Maren, you did it again, you're worthless, you're whatever. It's an opportunity. And we don't always have the space to be able to look at it. And sometimes I think we do have the space and it's just out of habit. That we just shove it away. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Right. Or we identify with it. Yep, yep, yep, yep. All right. And it's neither one of those things. It's an opportunity to go.... Oh, We'll look at that. That's interesting. Where did that come from? Kind of like what I'm doing with my garage right now? Right? I have this opportunity to go through it and go, Oh, look at that. Oh, I forgot about that. Oh, this is good. Oh, somebody...... could you know, like, all of the things, enabling me to sort it, and clean it out.
Stephanie Allen:
And yeah, without the shame, because I think that's what keeps us from clearing, whether it's the outer place in our life, or the inner place in our life inside ourselves, is shame, shame. You know, it's like, oh, I don't want to go there. Because I'm going to beat myself up as to why did I even buy this? Or why haven't I got rid of this, or this is from this time in my life, and I just don't want to go there. You know, we have all this shame, these old things. But yet, if we don't have to go through shame, we can actually go through as in this is a great practice, as a witness. As your awareness, I always say, like, who are you? Without your body? You know, what happens to your awareness when your body is no longer here? You know, our thoughts, are those thoughts really, you? They are if you believe they are, but who is even aware that you're even having a thought? There's got to be something else going on. Those feelings, who's aware that you're even having that feeling? So we're not our body. We're not our thoughts. We're not our emotions, we're actually the awareness. And in so, how could that awareness ever be shameful? It's just curious all the time. It's just looking in and saying, Well, that's interesting. And so when you say, you know, the sadness comes up, or the anger comes up, and we think, Oh, my God, what is wrong with me? It's like, no if you are aware that there's an emotion or a thought that isn't healthier, or fulfilling or nourishing you, then it's coming up because you actually have the space, the time, the energy, the resources to actually heal it. Now, I'm bringing this up because when I say heal, most of us adapt. You think of like survival of the fittest, right? We adapt to our environment. I don't like that word. And here's why. When you adapt to something, you cut a part of yourself off. You say it's unacceptable to be this way, in this environment, because I will be abandoned or fired, or judged or whatever. And so I'm going to adapt and become a people pleaser, or I'm going to adapt and become a commanding authority. That's not healthy. Because you're what you're doing is negating a part of your true nature.... yourself. You are the loving truth of who you are. So what if we transformed? That requires a completely different operating system. Totally different. So rather than adapt.... so adapting is squashing things away, cutting things off, and then now you're just like, nothing. You're so you're gone. Versus transforming of like, being a witness of like, okay, if I'm witnessing I say, imagine... here's a practice. Imagine that you're in a movie theater. And you're sitting in the seat watching a movie called your life. And you're on this this screen, and you're having an experience, and you're having feelings, and you're having thoughts and you're having relationships, and you, your awareness, your witness is sitting in the chair in the audience watching it. You're not attached to it. You're just like, wow, isn't that interesting that I made that choice, or I did that thing? Or I thought this way, that's interesting. But here's the other thing. You're also the director, the screenplay writer and the director, you can change it. You can say, what would happen if I thought differently? What would happen if I slowed down and made a different choice? You could play this out. This is such a great witness, not trying to figure it out, but play with it.
Maren Oslac:
And honestly this is exactly what I did today, when I was looking at my garage, right. So I was aware of the fact that Maren who is the actor, in the movie, was disgusted with herself that she's got a four car garage, she and her husband have a four car garage that's full of junk, and they can barely fit their cars in there. And then I went through Maren, and the actress who was like, Oh, I'm going to save the world by you know, repurposing everything in this, like, there were these different actresses that showed up and gave me different. And so it was like, Okay, if I stopped for a second and stepped back, and I see this as a movie going by, and I could act it out as this version of Maren, or I could act it out as that version of Maren. And I chose to be the Director of like, what's the highest version of this for myself, for my family, for my community for seven generations forward for seven generations? Like I chose to do it from the directors perspective, like I really dropped into that. So that's a, like a real world example of the exercise that you're giving people if like, Okay, what if you were watching yourself go by in a movie theater? Right? And you got to change the movie. And and do it differently.
Stephanie Allen:
Yeah, if you don't like the score of the movie like you don't like the soundtrack and the way it's moving, you can change it. It doesn't have to be a drama. It could be a mystery. It could be whatever you, it could be a love story, it can be whatever you want it to be. You know, it's interesting. I was coming out of yoga the other day, and there were two women that were talking about...... they were kind of like commenting on each other's clothes. Like, oh, I really love that. Oh, where did you get that? And, and one of them said, she said, You know, I've come to a time in my life where I'm no longer going to judge myself. I'm just going to buy it. If I want it. I'm going to have it. And I'm like, that's interesting. Just because you can doesn't mean you should. So what if you went deeper? What if you ask yourself, why? What does it mean for you to be able to make the choice to have that item? Well, how does it make it, because it's just fleeting. It's like having a piece of chocolate cake, or whatever, something yummy. It's like, you might say, yeah, I really want that. Well, who really wants that? And what are they really and, can you find it in a more sustainable way? And I'm not just talking about sustainability in the way of organics in the outer world, I'm talking about internally, can you feed your soul from a different way? Or can you purchase something like, you know, this person said, well, I bought this raincoat. I just always wanted it. And well, how does it make you feel? Can you find that feeling internally, from another way from a way of thinking, or a way of being or perspective or shifting from within that you already have enough? Because there's this whole scarcity model. It's such a lie, isn't it?
Maren Oslac:
I will say that when you do that, so one of the things is, first of all, we're not saying don't buy the raincoat or don't have the piece of cake. Right? That when you go deeper to okay, I really am craving something sweet right now, because I feel like shit about myself or because you know, like, so when we can do that work the inner version of it, when I have that piece of chocolate cake, it is so much more rewarding and fulfilling. And then guess what, I won't go back and keep looking in the refrigerator for something sweet.
Stephanie Allen:
You won't be empty because you'll be satisfied, right?
Maren Oslac:
It wasn't an outer world thing that I really wanted. Same thing with the raincoat. It's like when I do buy the rain coat, if I decide that that's what I really want, then it'll come from this place of like complete fulfillment, instead of trying to find the next thing that's going to make life correct or right or make me feel good. Because it's inside me. It's an inside job.
Stephanie Allen:
And I'll tell you for the longest time, I didn't know what the heck, when people say it's an inside job. It's inside, you get it inside, I'm like, oh my god, what are you talking about? If I had it inside, I wouldn't, you know... I would feel so much better. I'm like, Yes, that's the whole point. Get it inside, Well, how do I do that? I don't know how to do that. Because our culture is outwardly focused, right? We are constantly outwardly focused. I am who I am by what is going on around me. Instead of I am what I am, by what I'm cleaning out inside me. Like challenging the negativity, challenging the scarcity belief system that's going on inside that you aren't enough and that you need more. And like challenge that is that really true? And I think you know.....
Maren Oslac:
The thing that I'm hearing is like, oftentimes, you know, like, we do feel, you know, and I still feel like this, sometimes I feel just overwhelmed by like, oh, that's so easy to say. Yeah, I know, I know all of this stuff. And that's head knowledge. And so the first place to start and it seems so simple, and it seems like Yeah, yeah, yeah, we want to dismiss it is to just stop.... stop and drop in. And when I say drop in, I mean, like, let go of the mind chatter. You know, we all hear you meditate and do this. The whole purpose behind meditation is to help us to stop the mind chatter so that we can actually get to know ourselves so that we can get to drop in?
Stephanie Allen:
Well, not even so much stop the mind chatter, but to know that you are not your mind chatter. Yeah, that's the point of meditation. It's like, oh, well, there it is, but that's not who I am. And there it goes. And so the aim is to find ways, right?
Maren Oslac:
So, you know, it's like to make that space, the first thing we need to do is make space. And the way we do that, is to actually stop. And even if you do it for 30 seconds, you know, like, train yourself at the beginning of like, five seconds, I can just make it stop for five seconds, and then 10 seconds, and then a minute, and then you know, like, start to build that. It really does make a difference.
Stephanie Allen:
Well and in doing so, when you when you stop, and you just you, notice where your awareness is, what is your awareness focused on? Lack or abundance? Inwardly outwardly? Where's your awareness right now? What is it focused on? Like, just having that question, and paying attention to your awareness is a great practice.
Maren Oslac:
I think that is, when you just said that, I realized that that's where when I became the director, in my movie today, and I was sitting in looking at my garage, I made a choice to come from abundance. And when I had abundance, then I had the space to actually go through everything, and give it away. And say....
Stephanie Allen:
It's so key. Yes, we can feel so scarce like, well, what if I give this away? And then I need it again? Or what if I don't have enough? Or what if, you know, what if? What if, what if? What if? And what if the world is actually always wanting to give to you, and you have no space in your garage to be given to? You know, it's like, what if you are part of a very loving world, and that world wants the best for you? And no matter if that whole thing is like, you can't actually lose anything. It always comes back and another form. So whether you've lost a loved one, whether you've lost, you know, an item of material, whether you've lost your health. Like you think of a cold, you know, we go through, you have a bad cold or a flu, You're not the same as you were before you had the cold or flu, your immune system actually got an upgrade....
Maren Oslac:
...right, that's the transformation that you were talking about.
Stephanie Allen:
Transformation. So if we weren't so busy trying to push the cold away. That doesn't mean suffer on the suffering and the suffering, the suffering the suffer. But it's like, it's like, okay, what if I could be with this cold or this flu. And I could ask for help and receive love and attention and rest and know that I'm safe and that I am enough. Your body will heal. Half the time, what gets in the way is our internal Ca ca poo-pooness, the fears the doubts, the worries, the things that we're attached to, like all that stuff that takes up space in the garage, in the garage of the mind. Yeah, and it is a practice because it doesn't just happen naturally. And it's an ever evolving process meaning as we transform and grow instead of adapt. As we grow and transform, we're going to reach higher and higher states of being, which means where it's like, it's like grade school, you know, your math is ever evolving, it's gonna get harder, it's not the same as it was in grade one. When you're in grade 12, it's different. It's a higher version of it. And so, so are we. We become higher versions of ourselves. And so when you're challenged, when there's conflict, that's actually like, we've done this before, on some of our podcasts when there's conflict, that's a good thing. That means you're on the edge of transformation. So you can either run away from it and go back to your old way and keep on attracting more and more and more and more and more until like it's so full that now it has to blow open. Or you can say okay, I'm at an edge. I'm at an edge of transformation, who do I need to become? What needs to happen? What do I need to clean out internally? My thoughts, my beliefs, what emotion is that? Can I be aware of the emotion? I am not that emotion. But can I feel it? Can I be aware of it and allow it to move through me? I don't need to hang on to it.
Maren Oslac:
This is the, our, one of our coaches says that you can transform through pain and suffering or you can transform through joy and abundance and like the magic of life. What you just said is the difference between those two because we do live in a friendly universe. And if we're always struggling and fighting then our growth will be a struggle in a fight.
Stephanie Allen:
And look at what that does in the way of talking about sustainability, it's exhausting. You don't have sustainability. You're worn out. Yeah. And you age faster. And you seek outside stuff that doesn't really help you anymore. And it actually creates less and less and less like....
Maren Oslac:
resilience.
Stephanie Allen:
Yes, resilience!
Maren Oslac:
And so the good news is that there's this alternative way, which does require "Stop and Drop". Stop the stuff right? Drop in and ask questions. We've talked about that before about curiosity. Curiosity is our best friend. Instead of blame and shame, get curious, like, oh, that's interesting. Why did that show up?
Stephanie Allen:
And be still with it. What if you didn't have to fix it? What if it was moving through you? You are already enough. You don't have to force it. I say this, when I do the Yin practice, you meet that resistance. And you stay curious with it. And you soften into... that's your job, soften into it, soften, soften, soften. The tendency to run away or to fight it is so pervasive in our society. And that is pain and suffering, yes, you will get transformation. But it's going to come at a great cost. Or join inspiration of saying, Hmm, fascinating creation, I wonder what what's happening? Who do I need to become? I live in a friendly universe. I say this to myself all the time. I live in a friendly universe, something good must be coming my way. I need to be awake and aware to be present to it. If my awareness is focusing on the ca ca poo-pooness, I'm going to miss it.
Maren Oslac:
Yeah, I love that. Well, I hope that helps you guys with your own spring cleaning. And we would love to hear from you. You can find us on Facebook and LinkedIn, as the Soulful Leaders. And we will be here next week. Remember, we're doing more interviews this year. So we look forward to some really cool interviews that are coming up. If you have somebody you'd like for us to interview that you feel as a soulful leader, let us know. You can contact us through our Facebook page or LinkedIn page. So we will see you all next week on the soulful leader podcast. Thanks for joining us.
Stephanie Allen:
And that wraps up another episode of the Soulful Leader podcast with your hosts, Stephanie Allen and
Maren Oslac:
Maren Oslac. Thank you for listening. If you'd like to dive deeper, head over to our website at the www.SoulfulLeaderpodcast.com