Hard Truths About Leaving Religion

Leaving religion is not an easy thing to do. In fact it's quite difficult as you now get to unwind all the beliefs you have carried AND you move into a place where you are judging yourself, questioning your beliefs, wondering if you made a mistake and so much more.

What do you do? Will it ever get better?

Join me as we dive into some of the hard truths about leaving religion. I share some tools that will help you along the way.

Later in this episode I take you in a guided meditation that will assist you greatly.

Links:

Want more tools to assist you in letting go of old programs and beliefs?https://www.amandajoyloveland.com/leavingreligiontools

Order your copy of my Leaving religion book:

https://www.amazon.com/Leaving-Religion-Those-Leave-Behind/dp/1952566487/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1VJZLYGIDGFTI&keywords=leaving+religion+%26+those&qid=1654055556&sprefix=leaving+religion+%26+those%2Caps%2C180&sr=8-1

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Transcript

Unknown: 0:02

Welcome, welcome. Welcome to my podcast leaving religion a guide. I have been sitting with a lot of pieces lately. And I noticed that I have a little bit of a pattern of starting a podcast and doing it about a year and then feeling a little burnt out. So I've been taking a little bit of a break with this podcast and kind of reevaluating, what do I want to do. And as I've been sitting with that, I really, really want to continue doing this podcast and dropping episodes weekly. And with that, I'm lining up some really amazing guests, I've shortened the title to leaving religion a guide, as there's a lot of different topics that get to be spoken to, and not just stories of leaving religion. But really the stories of then what next? Where do I go next. And this episode is me. And I wanted to just with me, I have some really beautiful interviews lined up of talking about different aspects with spiritual pitfalls that happen and talking about shame, talking about some different pieces, that I have some really beautiful guests that are going to come on to just share some stories and experiences and learning that they they have had. But in this episode, you know, as I says, we're all out there doing our thing, and creating and growing and asking to really experience more and more in life really fully so that we can experience more of who we are. I have been sitting with some really deep pieces of what is it that I really, really want to create, and what do I want to hone in on. And that's partly why I was thinking about this podcast and what I do in general, for business and for a living. And I feel like the things that I do and what I what I create is really helping people come to a stronger and better relationship with themselves. So having and cultivating that in a relationship to where you really have more sovereignty over yourself, you have that self trust, and leaving religion and going on this spiritual journey is one of those pieces that really, really pops those places within us of really starting to ask those questions. We move from this place of following someone else following these kinds of steps, if you will, with what to do next. And really being getting kind of busy with the what to do, and, and who's telling me what to do and how to do these things. And, and embedded within religion are different tools, right? If you are struggling and really having an existential crisis in Mormonism, you usually go to the temple, you pray more you read more scriptures, you you kind of start doing a little bit more of that self reflecting, but there's these tools, these avenues that you get to utilize when you're in those places. And so the deeper question is, and where do you go when you've left religion. And I, you know, this is partly why I do this podcast, partly why I've written this book of we, we leave, and then one, I had this really beautiful, you know, experience and painful experience, but beautiful because I know that I'm listening to my salon, My soul is saying this isn't for me anymore. And now I'm stepping out. And now where do I go. And there, there's a hard truth in this, my friends, when we choose out of a construct and out of a religious construct, where there has been a lot of preaching, as you know, kind of the pedestal kind of playing. And we have been responding to those things that we're told we should you know, what we should do, what, how we should live our lives, and all these different dynamics. And then we choose out of this, this place in life, we then move into a place that actually can feel quite hard. And those of you that are listening or watching this on you to this on YouTube. If you're listening or watching this, you've already you're already experiencing this, you you are going through those places that you're awakening more and more into yourself and kind of those places of I now have choice, I now get to create the life that I want. And that can be quite scary. And today with a client of mine who's moving through some deep, deep pieces around religion. We were talking a little bit about this and one of the pieces that she was considering and I have had other people that have said the similar piece similar things is if I'm stepping out this construct of what God has been told to me that he is and I'm exploring this relationship, is it possible that I'm also a God? And the truth is yes, in some form, at least in my belief, and you can get you get to choose what your belief system is. But outside of all of that, we know that when we have experiences in our lives, that somehow there's something about us that has attracted it, we know that we are in constant creation. So whether you want to say that's a godlike attribute that we have, or just being a human and existing, we are constantly creating our realities constantly. And when we now no longer have someone to kind of turn to or blame or say, hey, now what what do I do? It puts all that responsibility on us. And that can be overwhelming. It can be really overwhelming. And so what now? What do you do now with that piece, there's the the overwhelmingness of Holy shit, if I'm creating everything, then everything that I've done up to this point, I've actually called in, I've created I've made a choice. And I went down those experiences. And if you can't find the meaning, or the gifts are the reasons why you did it, it can feel really painful. And it is painful, even when you do understand what it is that you gained from these different experiences. Because that is part of being human that is part of this human existence, of just feeling human, exploring the emotions, feeling the body feeling all the somatics that we get to experience. And then comes the beautiful Gift of Choice. Ironically, the Mormon church talks about this a lot, right? We we chose into physical bodies, because we wanted to have free agency. And yet, religion takes away a lot of that free agency. If you make certain choices, then you're there's consequences for it within within religious constructs. And. And as society, I mean, if we make a choice that harms another, there's going to be some sort of a consequence, that's just the natural law of what we've created. But within religion, especially when someone chooses to go against what the norms are that have been placed, then it's usually somehow shunned. It's somehow judged. And it's kind of an irony. And so when you step out of religion, and now the god is shifting, now you're recognizing that holy cow, I actually have more sovereignty and more ability for choice than I've ever had. It can be quite exhilarating, and can be quite scary. So this is why I wanted to speak to this, it's that hard truth, in the reality that it is not easy to leave. It's not easy to leave, and it's not easy to move down this path. And yet, your soul is asking for it. Your soul is asking for a different experience in this life. Why? That is a great question. I would get really clear and and still with yourself of what is it that you're asking to experience? What parts of you? Or are you asking to really grow and cultivate within. What I have found to be true for myself and so many others is that there is an awareness and knowing and a stronger spiritual connection that I have with myself. After leaving religion than I did when I was in religion, and religion was a stepping stone, it was a place to really start tapping into those places within me. But it was, you know, like the elementary school that has we've talked about this in different episodes in the past. And so it's been a gift. And you know, if you listen to my last episode, I talked, I talked about how Christianity is on the triangle. And it's no wonder then that when we step out of Christianity, Mormonism, whatever religion that was embedded on the triangle that we still stay in the triangle, because, ironically, the triangle feels safe. So then you move out of these constructs of having, you know, you were inside the religion, now you're stepping out, and now you start blaming the church, you start doing all these things, and you still live in the triangle. Because again, that's your safety mechanism. And when we move from places that have felt safe, that have felt comfortable, even if it even if you didn't like it, you still knew it, it was still safe, and we move into these places of unknown, the unknown. Our unconscious mind, our subconscious mind is like holy shit, we've never been here, we're going to die. This doesn't feel safe. And all sorts of our belief systems come up, right? Our limiting beliefs. And what's really interesting about this is if you've listened to other episodes of mine, you know, I talk a lot about the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind forms our beliefs, especially from the ages of zero to nine, that is when we form the beliefs of how we operate in the world. So most of our wounding most of our beliefs are our child healing pieces, or our The things that happened to us when we were three, or five, or seven, or eight, and when, and these are all unconscious beliefs. So I had this illustrated once to me like this. And I think it's a really beautiful way to, to illustrate this. If you can imagine a boat, there's a boat that's going along in your conscious mind is at the front of the boat charting the way. All right, this is the way that we're going to go. And you have all the people behind that, that are steering the boat that are paddling. And that's the unconscious mind. And you've been going a certain way, for however long and this has felt safe, the unconscious mind is onboard with the car, the unconscious and the conscious mind are on board with each other. And then the conscious mind has a different kind of like, wait a minute, this, I don't know, if I like where we're going, this doesn't feel true anymore, and then start to go to chart a new course, the unconscious mind starts to freak out. Because this was known, we knew where we were going, we knew this was safe. And now you're wanting us to go over here over here is unknown. So it takes a minute to get the unconscious mind onboard with the conscious mind, here's the beauty. When you change the course, the young, you start to see all the pieces that you're carrying in the unconscious mind that have actually been driving the ship. Ironically, you gotta get to start seeing all these limiting beliefs, all these pieces about yourself that are coming up, do I believe I get to be punished, I'm punished because I am leaving the religion of my youth. I'm leaving the religion, my family system, whatever it is, I've watched all these other people that have left and had hard lives and believed when I was in that? Well, of course, that's what happens when you leave the church because it's a wrong choice. So is there a part of me that actually holds that same belief even after I've left even though I know that this is the way that I'm supposed to go? Do I have a belief that now I get to punish myself? Now I'm not worthy of actually having a beautiful life, because I'm stepping outside of the societal norms, I'm stepping out of the tribal system. You will have all sorts of limiting beliefs that pop all sorts of shame, all sorts of judgment that comes up. And the question is, is can you get to a point to where you can see them, recognize them as actually having nothing to do with you. But having to do with these, this subconscious mind is actually coming up to be seen, be grateful for it shower, like a gift. This is a practice this isn't easy. But treat it like a gift of thank you for showing me this thing that I didn't know that I believed or that I held. Can I love it almost like a child aspect of myself asking to be seen unconditionally loved, but not attached to it, meaning anything about me. And instead just acknowledging it, and then telling the unconscious mind, it's okay. We're safe. We're gonna go this way. And again, this is a continual practice. Joe Dispenza. This is the neural pathways that we're talking about when when we have these neural pathways in our brain that have formed a certain belief in a certain we bought into a certain program for a long time, it takes a little bit to unwind those programs, it takes more than just a little bit to unwind, especially if you were born and raised within a religion. It takes some time to unwind those programs those patterns. So can you treat yourself like you would a child aspect of you that had been born and raised and bred into this religion? That you're now saying no, thank you any more? Can you still hold that part of you and say I love you. I see you I know this is hard, and it's going to take some time to unwind it. Can you show up in unconditional love? Do you know what unconditional love looks like? Unconditional Love means you love all aspects of you that are showing up no matter what. You may not entertain them and you may not let them drive the ship because they're throwing a tantrum for a minute. But you can still see them like you would a toddler that throwing a tantrum because they didn't get something that they wanted. With patients with love, and waiting for it to pass, you know that it only takes seven seconds for an emotion to move through. So when different events in your life happen to where it triggers an emotion can you breathe into that emotion? Can you see the thought that actually started the the motion? See it recognize it? Thank you for showing up so you can see this belief that you've been holding that you didn't know is there. I see. You know, I don't believe that's actually not true. I do believe I'm worthy of having a beautiful life. Why am I judging myself right now? I don't want to do that. Is this not even true? Loving it, seeing it, honoring it, letting emotion move through and then moving on. Now there are some deeper emotions especially and beliefs. Especially within, when you you're leaving out of a construct. With any religion that you've been in a long time, it takes some time and patience. And sometimes you do need assistance and facilitators to assist you in unwinding and unhooking these pieces. But if you're in a place right now, in your life, where emotions are high, where you are feeling really uncomfortable, where you are feeling like, what is the point? Does this get any easier? The paradox in this, and I just posted a real on my Instagram about this this morning. The paradox in this piece is the place that you have been that felt safe, you will never feel again. So oftentimes, we try to go seek for that peace, that, that place of home of knowing of whatever it is of what we've known before to revert to show us that, okay, everything's gonna be okay. And that doesn't exist anymore. Because now you're choosing a different way of being, you're bursting out of those places that you weren't comfortable with. And so it's a leaning into that discomfort breathing into it, letting it settle, letting it be seen, be known, yourself telling, are you telling yourself that everything's going to be okay, because you know what, I've always been okay. And then asking yourself, what is the different choice? What are the choices? What do I want in my life and moving forward, and can I recognize and accept that I can't get what I'm wanting to go with the things that I was. So there's places of safety of comfort of peace, that you were when you were doing this thing before, won't come over here into the things that you're wanting to get. You're asking to grow in ways that you've never grown before. So your sense of safety is going to take some time to come to your sense of peace of whatever that gets to look like now is going to feel different. Your inner knowing is coming in, in an online in a way that you've never experienced before. Your radars, your inner dilemmas of can I even trust myself, is going off probably like wildfire, especially if you just left and frankly, comes in layers. It comes in layers, all of our healing comes in layers. So even if you've left and it's been a year or two years, or six months or five years, it comes in layers if you've listened to my story with when I left religion, and actually when this podcast came through, when the inspiration for this podcast came through, which was something that I hadn't even thought about. You will know that it came in with a knowing that I couldn't do it with any kind of animosity. This podcast my book, I couldn't do it with a place of judgment or attacking. And while at that place in my life, I felt a lot of peace around why I left my choice of left I like I didn't have animosity didn't have that attacking energy with me. I could love people that were still in it, I could understand why they were choosing what they were choosing because I once was there. But when that question came in, I had to I got to sit with that for a minute. Can I do this without any kind of attacking because anything that we choose into and then choose out of anything, relationships, constructs, religion, whatever it is a belief system of any kind, even modalities, we can choose when we choose out of it. Because we get more information and we grow inside of it, we can look back and go, Oh, this was wrong, this is wrong, this is wrong, this is wrong. And there are fundamentally things that are wrong. So when I got had that come in, and I sat with it, man is huge piece around the patriarchy came in for me that I got to really sit with and heal and I was angry. And I didn't even know that existed. So how grateful was I to actually have this inspiration, have this knowing of doing this podcast doing writing this book, and then having it well, knowing that I couldn't do it with any kind of animosity and then checking and asking myself, is there anything in here, this still gets to look at that I get to look at and then I get to heal? And the answer was yes. And I had no idea it was there. And so the beautiful thing about life and about this path that you're now stepping into that you're choosing into that's more of a spiritual path and a a sovereign path of what do I believe to be true? And how do I want to operate my life and and having full choice and knowing that you are creating your reality is that it's constantly this path of self refinement, that personal alchemy of being able to take something that has happened to us and taking in those places and allowing for it to come in seeing why we created it seeing those places within us of of why what was my belief that helped co create this experience, even if it was really painful? What was my belief in it in the first place sitting in the burning of it? Finding the gifts and burning out that belief. So it's no longer attracting anything anymore. And then moving through creating that alchemical fire so that you now have this nugget of gold of wisdom within you. So if you're in a place where you are feeling stuck, you have moved out of religion, it's harder than you thought it would be, maybe it's better to stay in. Trust me, all of us have had those thoughts that, you know, at some point in time in our transition out of gosh, it was much easier to stay in and listen to somebody else's truth. There's a lot of places where it was easier except for that inner soul guidance, it's saying get out, get out. The irony that I have been experiencing and seeing more acutely is religion and other constructs actually separates us from our soul. And so it's this beautiful gift when our soul that we have been somewhat separate, like we've had taste of it, we know it. But we've only known it in a way of what we were told it should look like feel like sound like tastes like, for the most part, this isn't always the 100% true for everybody. And so when we do have our soul that starts kind of knocking at the door of Hey, buddy, this has been great. But there's something more there's something more for you. Then you start having more of this awakening that people talk about, and coming more home to the self of like, wow, what do I really want in my life, and then it becomes more this place if you're willing to look at it. Of where can I continue moving forward, and movement is the key. We are not meant to be stagnant beings. In fact, if you if you do not move, if you don't move anything, you know, your physical body, if you don't move your physical body, what happens? Right, it has bedsores, it starts becoming dormant, it starts literally dying. Our body needs movements, so does our soul. Our soul needs movement, our mind needs movement. If you have nothing to focus on and nothing of like what am I creating, then you will start to have your vibration your frequency start to lower. And right now we're at a time in our life and in the earth where we're being shown deeper core wounds and beliefs that we've been holding, that are difficult to look at and can create some depression, some anxiety, some restlessness, some some apathy, really, and feeling what is the point. And the point is that this is the point we're here to see and learn and move through those parts of us that we've been holding that have been holding us back that have been limiting us that have been creating the stories that that we have been living. And the more we become conscious of what we're creating, then we become these beautiful co creators, with God with source with each other. Because we're a lot more aware of what we're doing. I don't know about you, but to have more awareness and more sovereignty about the life that I want to create, even though it means that I'm 100% responsible for the life that I'm creating is quite empowering, even in the fearful moments, even in the scary moments of like, oh crap, am I really ready to break through this next thing. And if again, you're feeling uncomfortable, it's okay. It is completely normal to feel uncomfortable to not feel safe. When we leave religion, that is a very normal thing. So I invite you to breathe into it, to breathe into those spaces. And he's actually filling to guide you through a little bit of a guided meditation. So if you're driving, don't close your eyes. But if you're in a space to where you can just get still for a minute. Close your eyes. Allow for your mind, to start to slow down the thoughts and just listen to my voice. Allow for your breathing, to start to slow. getting deeper with each breath and I would invite you in this next breath to breathe it into those places within you that feel pain that feel discomfort, the places that may have vulnerable energy and those places that feel afraid breathe into those spaces. And imagine those places within you that are carrying any of those emotions those energies allow it to have a voice maybe it wasn't age, how old would it be? Is there emotions here that are asking to be expressed witnessed and felt? If so, can you feel them? Can you see them? Can you allow them to be set seen allowing it to bubble up moving it in and out through the breath. Our breath is one of the most beautiful tools that we can use to move energy to move emotions with this emotion asked to see if there's a belief underneath this. Is there a thought that's been creating this emotion? Allow for your unconscious mind to show you that thought or that belief now? And if it came up, I invite you to write it down if you can. It was the belief under the vulnerability under the fearful places that those places that feel scared angry hurts, stagnant. What is that belief? What is that pot? Writing it down or imagining it in front of you that thought allow it to be fully embodied and encircled in love. Can you see that thought? like you would a child who's just fearful that may have an irrational thought? Can you see it? Can you witness it? And can you tell it everything is going to be okay you are okay? It's going to be okay. And breathe even deeper. A deeper into this awareness. This place of charting an unknown path not yet knowing what lay beyond the horizon. But knowing that that is where your soul is asking to go reminding yourself and maybe that child aspect of you that inner wounded place I enter limiting belief reminding yourself that I see you thank you. And we're going to be okay if you can't, I invite you to place your hands in front of you. Almost like a cup, a bowl if you will. And allow for yourself to have this beautiful golden light that's coming down from the heavens from the sun. Allow for yourself to receive this golden nectar. See it pouring into your hands. And as it pours into your hands, I want you to notice the feeling of love a pure light of your connection coming into the hands. And as this golden nectar comes in, allow for your body, your cells, your tissues to actually absorb this light with each breath, breathing and even deeper into the cells. And now seeing this light coating the head moving over this, the hair into the neural pathways and down through the nervous system allow for this to coat the nerve endings coding the neural pathways soothing all your axial fibers and moving through the cells, the tissues, the muscles, the bones and with that coming in is this unconditional love in this new belief that I am okay. You are okay. And everything's going to be okay in this space notice if there's any angels any guides that have come in just notice their presence. Notice that there are unseen forces that are around you always. And bring your awareness in to those in your life that actually have shown up as unseen angels. The ones that allow you just a little place of comfort of being okay with who you are today. See those people come into your view now. And if you can give gratitude for them for yourself, for these unseen guides that are around you. And this golden light that you have in your hands, can you give some of that to these people that have shown up in your life that have shown you a little mercy, a little extra love when you need it. And now, I invite you to see those people in your life that have been difficult, that have made this journey out of religion a little harder. I invite you to see one person, that's the hardest coming into your view now. And I invite you to see the fear that they're holding with you leaving, see the programs that are running within them, that they have been taught. See their insecurities of what it means if someone they love leaves. And want you just to notice doing your best without anger, just to notice. See their fears, their insecurities, their wounds. And if you can, I invite you to give a little bit of this light that was in your hands to them as well. offering them just a little bit of kindness today, a little love a little grace. Knowing that none of us are perfect, that we are all doing the best that we can with what we have with this awareness, then next time you have an interaction with them and the physical reminding yourself that anything they say is actually more a reflection of them, their insecurities, their fears that are showing up and give it back to them. No, that has nothing to do with you. And get back to you. What's yours. When I claim what's mine, what's yours is yours. What's mine is mine. Taking a breath and coming out of the space back into the body back into your room. And before you open your eyes, there's an invitation here. For you to have eyes of curiosity, of seeing more of the tender mercies that still show up for you in your life with choosing this new path every morning waking up with curiosity of where do I get to see and express a little mercy, a little grace to others today. And when you're ready, opening your eyes coming back into the room and just a reminder, that you're not alone on this path. That everything that you're seeking is within you. And when you have these beautiful awarenesses and thoughts that come up, it's an ability to let go of that layer so that you can see something else within you that's asking to be seen. Can you create it? Can you have gratitude for it and move even deeper and deeper into yourself and the truth of who you are. If you're seeking for more awareness in your life, I highly recommend my book leaving religion a guide that you can find on Amazon I will link it down below. And the method I have several guided meditations that I've created all around leaving religion that are extremely powerful and helpful. I will link those as well. Wherever you are today, sending you so much love. Know that you are not alone. You