Surviving-ISH Podcast
"Surviving-ish" is a podcast with a unique and purposeful dual focus. The "Surviving-ish" is our way of creating a space for lightheartedness—it’s about the everyday, petty grievances that are frustrating but also a source of shared, human comedy. These are the moments we survive, like when the laundry pod explodes all over the clothes, your morning coffee isn't quite hot enough, or a passive-aggressive text from a relative ruins your mood.
The core mission behind "Surviving-ish" is to show our audience that while we may have been victims of serious circumstances, that does not mean people have to walk on eggshells around us. We believe in the power of laughter and the importance of finding humor in life's small frustrations. By blending serious topics with these minor, everyday grievances, we aim to normalize the idea that it's okay to joke and laugh, even after enduring significant challenges.
For further inquiries or to share your own story, please reach out to us at survivingabusepodcast@gmail.com. Together, we can create a network of support and healing for survivors.
Surviving-ISH Podcast
Nicole Wasilishin (Nikki): The Daughter of a Mudered Woman, Stephanie (Stacey) Wasilishin
Imagine being placed in the back of a squad car with the very person who took your mother’s life. This unfathomable nightmare was Nikki Wasilishin's reality. Join us as Nikki recounts the tragic night her mother, Stacey Marie Wasilishin, was murdered and the years-long journey she embarked upon to seek justice. With raw honesty, Nikki reveals how repressed memories and a mishandled investigation have fueled her relentless pursuit of the truth, using her own TikTok channel to create a community of support.
We'll navigate the complex emotions tied to police misconduct in unsolved homicide cases. Nikki opens up about the painful memories of her younger sister repeatedly saying, "Poppy killed mommy," and the baffling experience of being placed with the primary suspect. Despite acquiring a 400-page case file, crucial parts remain missing, raising questions about police negligence and inexperience during the 1993 investigation. This episode underscores the importance of persistence and the emotional toll exacted on those seeking justice for their loved ones.
From the distress of public scrutiny to the triumph of resilience, we explore how going viral can distort personal narratives and invite unwanted cyberbullying. David shares his roller coaster experience of fame, adding depth to our understanding of public misrepresentation. We then celebrate the enduring spirit of resilience, drawing parallels to Nikki’s unwavering advocacy and her mother Stacey’s lasting legacy. Concluding on a lighter note, we entertain the whimsical idea of Melissa McCarthy playing Nikki in a movie, reminding us all to find joy amidst the pain. Tune in for a deeply moving and empowering conversation about justice, representation, and the power of community.
In every dark tunnel, there's a glimmer of hope. In every painful moment, there's a strength to heal.
Speaker 2:Welcome to Surviving Podcast.
Speaker 1:Guys, I have a special guest on. She was actually a guest before Nikki Wassilishan, my dear friend. Hi, my love.
Speaker 2:David, I would be wearing your sweater, but I'm keeping it clean. I know my gosh.
Speaker 1:We have so much to talk about. So just to fill people in, I came across your TikTok a year ago, at this point, I guess and reached out to you and you immediately responded. I was like, yeah, I'll be a guest on the show, like I, and to have followed your journey and to even being a small little part of it has been so cool. But just in case somebody doesn't know who you are, what the hell we're talking about, tell us who Nikki is and what you're doing.
Speaker 2:My name is Nikki. I am the daughter of a murdered woman. That's what this comes down to. When I was 10 years old, I went to bed, said goodnight to my mom and three hours later I will be awoken by the Sedona Police Department and put in the back of a squad car while I find my little sister and she'll keep saying Poppy killed mommy, poppy killed mommy. And I'll keep telling her that's not what the police said. Mommy's not dead. I'll try to convince her of this and then they'll put Poppy, her dad, in the same car and he will tell me that he's sorry and he wants to keep the family together and that he loves me.
Speaker 2:And the fact that he had access to me minutes after he murdered my mother is mind-blowing. But despite the fact that my mother's death was deemed homicide by the Maricopa County Medical Examiner's Office, he never went to jail. The Yavapai County Attorney's Office claims that there is insufficient evidence to prosecute Russell Bennett Peterson. So two years at the age of 38, almost three years now I finally got involved and I requested the case file, and that is what we are doing. I wanted to know what happened. I started reaching out to journalists and essentially, the journalist told me to become my own journalist. I started a TikTok channel. I met people like David and thank you, david, for doing this for me.
Speaker 1:I'm so glad that I was able to be a safe place for you and we've exchanged phone numbers, we text all the time. We've become friends. I'm going to get to wrap my arms around your neck one day and give you the biggest freaking hug, and I'm so proud of you. I I have told you this before and I mean it like if anything ever happened to me, knowing that Nikki effing wasolition, she will find me or find justice for me, like the girl does the damn work. And so I want to remind people that, if you are not familiar with this story, please check out our episode, the first episode. I re-listened to it again today, and there's something that just really sticks with me. You had mentioned how you were so young when this happened and you were in the hands of people that you thought you could trust. It was what? 20 years or so before you actually started digging into the case.
Speaker 1:And so my question is when that happened, were there light bulbs that started going off of the plate. They put me in the car with him Because I'm sure as a child in that moment you were not thinking that it was probably something you thought of 20 years later. What were those moments of those light bulbs flashing like?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I actually blacked that whole out, actually until I started reading the case file. I didn't really experience that again for the first time until I was, you know, 30 years old, sitting back and remembering that night. And then I realized, as an adult, looking back, I was watching a movie and I realized that's not what you do and that's what happened to me. And so then, as an adult, I start asking police officers would you do this? If there was a domestic violence altercation, would you put the child in with the suspect? And it's no every time. So it's very surreal to read my mom's case file and to see all the places that they just dropped the ball and they messed up and that was really one of them was putting me in the car. It is the most traumatizing thing and since I've come to terms with it, I talk about it a lot because it really is tragic for me.
Speaker 1:Sure, and even the fact that that happened with a memory that is very loud and clear with you, is your youngest sister. Who was? You were young, 10?, yes, and she was three, three, and she kept repeating Poppy killed, mommy, correct, and they still put you two in the car with him I thought about that, david.
Speaker 2:I hadn't thought about that, but you're yeah, I just can't wrap my.
Speaker 1:I can't do it, I can't. There is not one justification I can come up with for that yeah you're so close to justice. Every day you're getting closer. May I ask for some clarification? Sometimes your mom is referred to as stacy and sometimes as stephanie yes, yeah, absolutely yeah.
Speaker 2:Thank you for asking that question. My mother's legal name on her birth certificate, on her death certificate and everywhere on her autopsy report it is stephanie marie was solution, but between you, me, the fence post in the world. My mom liked to be called stacy, just I'm nicole wasselish, but I like to be called nikki.
Speaker 2:That was who she was. So when she did pass, my grandma had the opportunity and on her name placard I just recently found this out. When I went to go visit my mom in november, my grandma put on her crib Stacey Marie Wassilishan, and just I love that Grandma B did that instead of her legal name, because my mother did like to be called Stacey.
Speaker 1:I love that. Then, going forward, may I call her Stacey.
Speaker 2:Please. Thank you, David.
Speaker 1:So let's talk about that case file. I know that most people already know this, but just in case you don't, I have another podcast with a group of friends of mine called Speculating Wildly About Crime and we cover high profile cases as to where this podcast still falls in that true crime niche, but I'm with the victims, slash survivors and, of course, any platform that I ever have. Nikki's always going to be on it if I have to. She's never kicked and screamed about it, but if it came to that, it would happen On that one because we do focus more on the crime aspect of it. I asked you for the case file that you had and you sent it to me and it was huge, but it was nowhere near half of what you have not been giving. Can you talk about that with us?
Speaker 2:I so frustrating. If I was doing this investigation alone, I wouldn't even be aware of the fact that I didn't have a complete case file case file. I wasn't aware of the fact that I had an incomplete case file until I read the Red Rock News articles from Sedona little local newspaper. Up there In July of 2020, there's the investigator in front of the great big case file. He's posing for the camera and underneath the caption it says Sergeant Michael Dominguez of the Sedona Police Department looks back into the Stephanie Marie Wassalisha case a 400 page case file and I was like 400 pages, so that's the first place I knew that my case file was small. Then, right after I got involved and I got really into this, I contacted my aunt again and I I hooked back up with her. We did some investigating together and where I find out that she's been trying to get a full case file for 30 years her most the biggest case file she has is like 225 pages. They've withheld over 100 pages from my aunt for years. I don't know. I can't tell you why. What they're telling me is that they're working with old technology and they're working diligently to get us a complete case file.
Speaker 2:That is a direct quote from a letter we received in, I think, March of 2022. It is now almost March of 2024. And hi, Nikki still has not gotten a complete case file. One of my close friends and my mentor, Sarah Turney, just put in for a full request, maybe three, four weeks ago. Fingers crossed. We'll get a 400-page case file Every time we ask for one. We're hopeful we'll get the full one. Your guess is as good as mine.
Speaker 1:I will say the case file was even hard to read because, again, where we were, what 30 years ago and with technology, so much of it was handwritten and then copied and then emailed, and so I was like blowing it up and getting my AI involved and printing things out and trying to read the handwriting. And so what I would like for us to touch on is it seemed that the police that were there were very nurturing to you and your sister other than putting you all in the car with the only suspect. But then I would read something else and be like, oh, but wait. And then you and I even had the conversation. At one point you had said something almost in support of the police officers that were there. But then we find out other information and it's about were they being that great? So where do you stand with that?
Speaker 2:The Sedona area was policed by the Verde Valley Police until 1989. It was a very small, ritzy area, but in 1989, there was a big enough population where they were able to supply Sedona with their own police force. David. That was in 1989. They hired on all their people. They built their building. It is formed. Do the math my mom was murdered in 1993. That means four years after this brand new organization is formed, they're handling a domestic violence homicide Between you and me and the lamppost in the world.
Speaker 2:They didn't do a very good job, right? They're showing up on scene putting the suspect in the car with the children. They're not bagging his hands. They're letting him sit in the clothes. They just dropped the ball left and right and growing up I always thought, like family speculation, that he paid off his family, paid off the cops. It was always something nefarious. But, to be honest with you, since I got involved, it's just police misconduct, neglect. They didn't know what they were doing. So, talking about the police, I just feel like the 93 investigation were very green and rookies. And now, in 2020, through now since it's gotten reactivated, they are gaslighting me to believe that they did a good job then and they want me to look away and don't look at us and, oh my God, we did nothing wrong. Remember I sent the FBI to the Sedona police department in 2022. They sent the FBI away saying they didn't need any assistance, but from where I'm sitting, they need some assistance. It's frustrating.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's so frustrating. You had mentioned that your mother's boyfriend at the time, russell, who is the only suspect when you all were sitting in the car, he was putting his arms around you all and just saying I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. He was putting his arms around you all and just saying I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. And you can take that especially in an innocent mind of not knowing what the hell's going on. I'm just so sorry there's blue lights. I'm so sorry there's a strange man here. But then, 20, 30 years later, was he so sorry because of what he did?
Speaker 2:That's the way I see it, and I tell a lot of people this, because this is the moment when I knew something was wrong. Yes, I was scared. When the police woke me up, I was terrified. I had a flashlight in my face. Yes, I was freaked out because they're escorting me through my home and I don't see my mom. But they told me my mom was somewhere else and I believed it. That was believable to me. My sister kept telling me Poppy killed mommy because my little sister's a spaz just like me.
Speaker 2:Whatever, it was that moment when he got in the car and started squeezing on me, david, when I knew something was indeed wrong, because this wasn't my daddy, this wasn't a person that hugged on me, loved on me, squeezed on me. Russell went out of his way not to bond with me because my father, craig Daly, had him had physical altercations. My mom had left my dad for Russell and in that night my mom had planned on leaving Russell to go back to my dad. Russell hated my dad. So there, in turn, he did not like me very much.
Speaker 2:He put on a good face, but no, that is when I knew and he didn't just hug me. He, like, came into the squad car and bear hug me and was like I'm so sorry, I love you, I want to keep the family together. And that's when the trigger. I'll never forget the cop car pulling down that little mini road and him hugging me and me just thinking, get off me, get off me. It kept repeating in my head because I just wanted to get off me repeating in my head because I just wanted to get off me.
Speaker 1:What I think is so great about you is you're very honest and raw, but you're also very realistic on speculating wildly. You're like what I want more than anything is just the truth, just accountability, the fact that you put that above a punishment or prison time or whatever, because, like you mentioned, that part's out of your hands and I just think that you're just so brilliantly said with those things and how honest you are with yourself. So I want to do a little bit of a check-in because I know what your answer is going to be. It's always the same and I trust it and I believe it and I love it. But I also love you. So I always want to do a check-in because every day of your life I mean for years now you have not stopped speaking about your living and breathing this, and I always ask you what you do for yourself, and I just want to check in and make sure that you're good.
Speaker 2:Yes, I'm actually the last time you had asked me that I wasn't sure and I remember telling you. I know where I want to get David, I know what you're asking me, but I'm not there yet and a year later, you asking me that same question. You see how excited I was. Yes, I am good. I am doing very well this. This whole journey has been strenuous. It's been emotional. You've seen me cry. You've seen me falter. You've seen me on good days and bad days. I show you, I brought you into my life. I put the camera here so you can experience this with me. This is real life and we are having some good days.
Speaker 2:I wanted to share with you that, what I do to get away from all this and what I realized. Okay, so you know, sarah, after she got a little bit of resolution, she went into podcasting to help families and I I thought maybe that's what I wanted to do, like you. Then I was like no, I want to go into rescue and do animals. If I ever get a platform, I want to help the dogs. Recently, david, I think I need to become a filmmaker because I'm making these videos for paid sponsorships and I'm having way too much fun setting up the shoots, filming, editing, telling a story. So what if I become?
Speaker 1:still keep it in true crime and do like true crime little movies oh, I love it because you are so stinking cute and you're so good and you haven't forgotten what the goal is and I just love that about you. Like my heart melted when I got notification that you had tagged me in a video and I went in and I pushed play on it. It was like packages and you were opening up the sweaters because you received a package from another podcast the same day you received mine and so you tried them all on and did the whole like cute snap finger thing and you were smiling and I just I'm friends with Nikki Vossalisha Like how great is my life you know, David, that's the way I feel about you.
Speaker 2:I get star struck with all you guys. You've been amazing.
Speaker 1:It's very humbling. Yeah, you have built such a great community now. You and I talked one night for quite a while because once you have went viral several times, but here recently it the viral stuff was getting into other creators hands and I remember the conversation we're having of I'm so used to people checking in with me.
Speaker 1:I'm so used to people like me authorizing things and giving permission, and then now it's getting to a place to where you aren't being taken into consideration with that, especially if you're going off an incomplete police report, because I was messaging you after I got the police report.
Speaker 1:I was messaging and I was like I can see why he was thinking and saying these things a certain creator, but your point to it was but I could have given him all the answers had he just reached out, and so you had even said yourself that you are at a place now where you understand that this is not just yours and Stacy's story anymore, that this is now extremely public and people are adopting it as their own in some kind of way. It as their own in some kind of way. It's been a couple of weeks since that happened, because I talked to you the day that it happened and at first you were okay with it. You're excited about it, and then a couple hours later, you're like but wait, so where are you now, knowing that this is probably going to be something that happens on a regular basis?
Speaker 2:That was a hard pill to swallow, David.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That was a day. For years I've begged people to pay attention to me, look at me, hear me, report on me, and one day my phone goes off. I'm trending and I can't figure out why, and I have followers of mine tag me in a video and I go to the video and it's my life. And not only is it my life, it's my life. The animation Look, that's me as a cartoon. Oh, look at how cute. Oh, I'm getting into it. And as the seconds go by I'm like, oh, this is cute, oh, this is cool. But then he portrays my mother as an animation shooting the gun, which never happened.
Speaker 2:So essentially, what this creator did was report the suspect side of things, and that was a very hard pill to swallow. I did not appreciate people reporting on my life without talking to me. I understand now, this is what I wanted, right? Like I wanted my mom's name to get out there, and essentially that's what happened. So I just got to become louder and I got to get a thick skin and it was a hard pill to swallow, but I'm okay with it. Now I get it, because this isn't going to be the only one no, that was your first, but even though because okay.
Speaker 1:so when you and I always have had an honest relationship, when I first watched it I didn't have a single bad thought about it. But then, when you were opening up to me and telling me your side of it of course I'm very protective of you and I was like, oh shit, like I get it now. So I kept going back and watching it and I was looking at it from your point of view and I was like, ok, I can see this. When my story went public, the media released that I went to a straight bar as a gay man, took a straight man home for sex and got beat up. That's not what happened. But when I heard that, I immediately was like everyone hears that I'm the whore Babylon and that I deserve what happened to me In most cases. That's not what they heard. So I just thought about that scenario too. But I kept going to. This is my friend and if she's feeling hurt and damaged by this, then I'm pissed off.
Speaker 2:I did receive a lot of comments. I got a lot of damage control. I had to do that. My mom deserved it and she shot at him that how could he have murdered her? She deserved it. So that's why I got upset. As the hours started to go by, I was getting messages like that. So I was having to do a lot of damage control, deleting a lot of stuff. I eventually blocked ray william johnson so he can't look at my stuff, but I'm sure he has backup accounts. But yeah, it is because his fan base he has a lot of teeny boppers, so a lot of of these are 10, 12, 13, 14, 15 year old children that are coming at me and it's gotten quite overwhelming. It's cyber bullying and that's why I got overwhelmed.
Speaker 2:I don't make a correlation of all the negative stuff. I just delete it and I block these people.
Speaker 1:So that's why I got mad 100% and that's a great point to make is again prime example. To use my story to relate relate a lot of the messages I was seeing were all very supportive of me, but that was public. But there was a lot of death threats that came in privately of people wanting to find me and finish the job because a gay man should be in a straight bar and taking straight men home for sex, when that wasn't what happened but the world wasn't seeing that. So it kind of you were put on this platform in front of the world but you're having to damage control to the behind the scenes stuff by yourself. Yeah, have you set anything up for yourself on how to keep yourself in a good place when shit like that happens?
Speaker 2:It hasn't happened since. I did get in a really bad place for a couple days. I was really upset about it. I don't know. I don't know how I'm going to take it. Honestly, I'm a spaz, david. If it happens again, I'm probably going to freak out. It's going to happen again. News organizations I'm a spaz, david. If it happens again, I'm probably going to freak out. It's going to happen again. News organizations are going to report the same thing. That is his side of the story. It's got to be reported on right. His side of the story, right? I just need to get over it. So we'll see. Every day I get stronger at this.
Speaker 1:Look at how far I've. Internet trolls are the keyboard bullies. The things that people are saying is the last thing they would ever say to your face. What I love about you is you are so brilliant at the way that you handle things and you will find a way to turn it into your favor. Why do I have?
Speaker 2:that ability.
Speaker 1:I see it because you will take comments and you will post videos about it and you will be very elegant and well-spoken, but you set the record straight and you're not being steered away from the goal.
Speaker 2:The people that tell me that I have a mustache so I've got to put them on, clap back and be like it is a skin discoloration.
Speaker 1:Girl, what do you see happening next?
Speaker 2:People are starting to listen to me now. By this time next year I'm going to be sitting with Nancy Grace. Netflix, the ID channel, Discovery Channel all of them are the sky's the limit. I won't stop, David, until there's accountability, Until he's behind bars or the Sedona Police Department admits that they're wrongdoing, I will not stop because at this point I'm coming for everybody. I'm more mad at the agency that's failed her for years and the man that killed her in a split second crime of passion. I'm coming for them all, yeah.
Speaker 1:I love it because I was thinking the other night let's fast forward a year from now and let's say there is a form of justice, whether it's prison or whatever. Do you think that you're going to find other people that are in your situation and become their voice? Do you see that happening?
Speaker 2:This is a circle. When I first started, I said yes. And then I get really burnt out and I get really depressed and I won't even record anything for a few days. Or if I am recording, it'll be all dogs, because if I had my choice, I would think it would be dog content. But I swear, being able to be a filmmaker is like a whole new world, being able to be on one side of the camera and to tell a story. That way, I think that I could go into true crime and be a voice for families and be an advocate as a storyteller, as a filmmaker, it's really what I want to learn to do, yeah.
Speaker 1:To bring this to an end. But on a really cute fun note is your dad man. I don't know if you told him that he had a fan or not, but I just when you chase him with the camera, when you trick him into talking and he's working on his car and he has no idea he even got the camera out and then he realizes you got to chase him through the house and the dog's running after you and it's just so cute.
Speaker 2:Went to Walmart today. Check out my TikTok page and they're shopping at Walmart with me and dad.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's what I'm doing as soon as we log off, because I just, I love that. You have learned to enjoy this ride. You have learned to laugh through your tears and your pain, and that's something that I try to hit really hard with this show is. People ask me all the time. They're like David, you're releasing episodes every week. You're rehashing what you went through. You're rehashing what you went through. You're reliving what you went through.
Speaker 1:You're talking to other survivors yeah, but you're doing it with a fucking smile and it's my way, it's my control, and I have learned to enjoy the ride to get to where I need to be, because the more people I help means what happened to me is not in vain, and that is what you are doing. And absolutely there are your TikToks. They're an emotional roller coaster, as they should be, but we get to laugh with you, we get to cry with you, we get to celebrate with you, we get to mourn with, we get to sometimes just sit in silence with you and just be together, and I'm obsessed with you. You know that already.
Speaker 2:When we had our meeting last year we got so wrapped up because that phone call came about the documentary, I know we ran like an hour late. We talked for two hours and I remember at the beginning of it you said I'm going to ask you a funny question and at the end of it I want you to answer me. Remember what you asked me when this movie comes out, who's going to play you? Do you remember asking me that?
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 2:We never. I remember I never answered that.
Speaker 1:We got two sidetracks, so do you have an answer for us today?
Speaker 2:I want to answer that yeah, for us today. I want to answer that. Yeah, okay, melissa McCarthy.
Speaker 1:I'm dead. Oh, my God, I love her so much. Oh, that's brilliant.
Speaker 2:I think she's a perfect representation of me, don't you think? All my big gestures, like everything, melissa McCarthy, I feel like that's my girl, if there's ever a girl.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, that's brilliant. Oh my gosh, nikki.
Speaker 2:Love you.
Speaker 1:I love you and I've enjoyed getting to know your mom, miss Stacy, through you and I know that she's so proud and you're doing her justice. You are showing her all the love she's getting to live through you and I just admire I'm almost getting teary I just admire the hell out of you and the direction that your life is going and what you're fucking doing. Man like I, just all my love thank David.
Speaker 2:It's working because of people like you.
Speaker 1:Well, honey, it's working because of you. I'm just helping love you through it. Tell everybody where we can find you, follow you and all those great things.
Speaker 2:Oh, TikTok baby. Just like Dave, we're talking about the whole episode, I do daily updates all day long. Come and live through me through my TikTok channel. It's been blowing up lately. David, I love you. Thank you for having me on and helping me spread my mom's message.
Speaker 1:I want to extend my deepest gratitude to our incredible guests for sharing their transformative journey with us today. Join us next week as we dive into the healing process and share more incredible stories of triumph and resilience. Good kissing but bad goodbye. Now I'm back and I'll pray for you. I'm done hurting you.
