TRANSCRIPT OF “DISABLED ISN’T A DIRTY WORD PART 1: SLURS”

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MALE VO [00:03]
This is Bad Attitudes.

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LAURA [00:21]
Hello and welcome to episode 3 of Bad Attitudes: An Uninspiring Podcast about Disability! I’m your host, Laura.

Today we’re discussing language and labels used around disability. For some reason, [non-disabled] people have a real problem with the word disabled. It’s not a dirty word, y’all!

First and foremost, I do want to give you a trigger warning. I will be using language that many people find harmful or downright offensive, including myself. I do not advocate using this language in discussing disability, I am using it purely for educational purposes.

[01:02]
Secondly, I want to remind you that disability is not a monolith. Even though some aspects are universal, my experience as a disabled person is not the same as the experience of other disabled people. I am one voice for the disabled community, but I am not the only voice.

[01:24]
So, you might hear some people in the disabled community use some of the words I’m going to talk about and wonder why I include them as being harmful or offensive if they are used by the very community condemning them. By using words that have been harmful to us, the disabled community is reclaiming the power over that language. It is still completely unacceptable for a non-disabled person to use this language when talking about disability UNLESS it is in regards to a specific person AND that specific person has ESPECIALLY REQUESTED you use that language. 

In many cases, the language used is just a symbol of the way the disabled minority has been oppressed by the non-disabled majority. Language has been used to infantilize us, dismiss us, and abuse us. Don’t let anyone tell you that words are not a big deal. That saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me,” is bullshit. Words have power. If they didn’t have power, people wouldn’t be arguing with the disabled community about how we want to refer to ourselves and how we want to be referred to by others.

Remember what I said in the last episode? If a disabled person tells you that something is ableist, BELIEVE THEM. So here I am, a disabled person, telling you that using terminology that is harmful or offensive, or refusing to use terminology the person asks you to use, is ableist. Arguing with a disabled person about whether or not a particular term is ableist is SUPER ABLEIST.

I’m going to start off by talking about slurs. Most of us know what a slur is, and if we can’t define it, we can probably at least give an example. A slur is a derogatory or insulting term applied to a particular group of people. There are racial slurs, sexist slurs, homophobic and transphobic slurs. Slurs are words that are weaponized against a particular group of people or against individuals who belong to that group.

One of the most well-known and repulsive ableist slurs is the word “retard.” At this point, “retard” has gone past slur and is just basically considered hate speech. The word itself is derived from a Latin verb meaning to hinder or to make slow. In English, it was originally a medical term used to describe people with delayed mental development. Over time, it took on a negative connotation and became a pejorative term. It has come to encompass any behaviors that are a little different. Think about middle-school-aged kids laughingly calling each other “retard” for doing something a little off kilter. Or for not picking up on something as fast as someone else thought they should. Or for not knowing this or that about whatever. It’s very similar to the way “gay” was considered an insult for the longest time. Oh, you like fashion? That’s gay. Oh, you like theatre? That’s gay. And on and on.

Using “retard” or “gay,” or for that matter, any of the slurs in my list, sends the message that that THING is the worst possible thing a person could be. Like when people act as if autism is an end-of-the-world diagnosis for their child. I understand you have been shook, but get a grip. I mean, honestly, I blame the anti-vaxxers for this one. “OMG, your kid is gonna get AUTISM!” Never mind the fact that a lot of celebrated historical figures are believed to have been autistic. For example, Michaelangelo, the guy who painted the Sistine Chapel. Sir Isaac Newton, who discovered gravity. Albert freakin’ Einstein! These guys did okay for themselves. And they all would have been considered “retarded.”

Next up on the list is “cripple.” I’ve had this one leveled at me a time or two and it pisses me off. First off, throwing “cripple” around at any disabled person is simply not etymologically accurate. Remember, I have an English degree. “Cripple” derives from the Old English words meaning “to creep” or “one that creeps.” In this instance, “creep” is synonymous with “limp.” Well, guess what. I use a wheelchair; I don’t limp, dumbass. If you’re gonna try to insult me, at least do so with a modicum of intelligence.

Of course, over hundreds of years, that meaning has been modified and modern definitions are somewhat less specific. And, to my mind, the way people use the word “cripple” today often sounds like “useless.” And regardless of someone’s disability, whether they can or cannot use certain parts of their bodies, no one is useless.

“Cripple” or the shortened form “crip” is one of the words that has regained popularity among disabled people. It is perfectly acceptable for me to refer to myself as a “crip,” but I would never use it to describe another disabled person, probably not even if they said it was okay. It makes me uncomfortable. Even with the usage as a means to reclaim power of the language of our bodies, most disabled people consider it a slur, and it should 100 percent never be used by a non-disabled person.

“Gimp” is another slur closely related to “cripple,” so I’m not going to go too deep into it. I will say that there is an image editing software known as GNU Image Manipulation Program — AKA GIMP — and yes, the name is problematic. I’m not saying it was intentional, but the software has been around for a WHILE and the problems with the name have been brought up by users, but evidently no change has been made.

While doing research, I came across an article about this naming problem, and the author mentioned the GIMP Project, a modern dance project in New York including disabled dancers. The author said, “I guess gimp isn’t considered a derogatory term by everyone.”

And I call foul. Because using the word “gimp” does not indicate whether or not these dancers consider the term derogatory. It is likely another example of the disabled community reclaiming language that has been weaponized against us and using it in a positive way.

“Spaz” is another slur that derives from medical terminology. It is a shortened form of “spastic” or “spasm,” and is usually used to insult anyone with involuntary muscle movements. It has come to have a much broader derogatory meaning and is used as an insult to someone who has lost control in any way. This could refer to a specific loss of muscle control (like a muscle spasm) or to doing something well up until a certain point and then you “spaz out.” 

[09:18]
All right, this next one is probably the one I personally find most offensive, which is probably going to confuse a lot of people considering its ubiquitousness. I have NEVER liked this word; even as a child, it felt like nails on a chalkboard to me. And that was before I even really knew its meaning or its origins.

That word is handicapped.

Did I choke on it? I feel like I choked on it.

I hate, hate, HATE this word, and I think what makes me hate it even more is that non-disabled people will insist that it’s not ableist when I tell them it is. They will literally argue with me.

Let me give you some background. There are actually two versions of the origins of “handicapped.” (I really hate saying that word.) One is that it was used to refer to disabled people who were forced to beg in the streets because they could not make a living in any other way. Therefore, they were “handy with a cap.”

Fun fact, though: This story isn’t true! You can go to snopes.com and it debunks this myth. Does it matter that this origin story is false? Not really, because the correlation between disabled people and begging is already there. It lodges itself in our collective mind as it gets passed around. And because it makes sense, there is no real reason to question it, which means it grows in popularity and takes on a life of its own. That’s why Snopes had to debunk it in the first place.

The truer version has to do with a particular game of chance, and over time, the term came to include making all contests more equitable. Hence why horses are handicapped in races or you have a golf handicap, for instance.

So “handicap” evolved from meaning a way to make a contest more equitable to meaning an “imposed impediment” to finally just an “impediment.”

In a convoluted way, it’s ALMOST a compliment because only the strongest contenders are handicapped. So, like, the universe just thought disabled people were gonna kick everybody’s ass.

But, disabled people are not horses and life is not a game. And for many, MANY disabled people, the true impediments they face are the ones put in place by our society, not ones imposed on them by their bodies. In the grand scheme of things, none of that even matters. What REALLY matters is that disabled people don’t like the word “handicapped.” We consider it harmful. We don’t want you to use it. And that should be reason enough.

Remember how I said the thing that makes “handicapped” worse for me is that non-disabled people keep insisting it’s not harmful, rather than listening to the majority opinion of the disabled community? I got into an argument over this word recently on Facebook. Yeah, I know, I know. Anyway, I kindly requested that the OP not use the word “handicapped” and please use “disabled” instead, as it is the preference of the majority of the disabled community. Another woman jumped in, saying that she works with disabled people (she put disabled in quotes) and she uses the word “handicapped” and they’ve never said anything. Maybe it was a ME problem and I should tell her why it’s offensive. Her name was Carol, which, I believe, is the actual name of many Karens.

There are a LOT of problems with what she said, but if you don’t see them all, don’t worry. I’m here for you.

First, I pointed out that it is not my job to justify why I, a disabled person, find a term like “handicapped” to be ableist and offensive. It is not my responsibility to explain to her why it is wrong to use it. I said it was offensive, I offered a preferred alternative, and that should be enough. I did, of course, go on to explain it to her.

She gave me no indication of what kind of work she does with disabled people, but the fact that the people she worked with have not said anything to her about using the word “handicapped” does not mean they’re okay with it. Disabled people are conditioned to see themselves as burdens, whether intentionally or otherwise. We internalize the ableism that tells us to not make waves, to not make too much trouble. (Thankfully, I was raised to NOT internalize this particular message, so here I am, making trouble.) We are already told that we are burdens, so we do our best to avoid making ourselves more burdensome. And speaking up against ableist language could be perceived as burdensome.

Disabled people are unlikely to speak up to someone who is in a position to make our lives harder. I’d wager that Carol is a caregiver of some sort. Disabled people are disproportionately abused by caregivers, whether they are relatives or employees. We know in our bones that needing a caregiver puts us in a precarious position and there are so, so many disabled people who are not lucky enough to have quality caregivers in their lives. Speaking up in a way that our caregiver might dislike could put a disabled person in real danger. You might think it’s no big deal to ask them to use one word over another, but keep in mind that abusers can act out of the slightest perceived insult. So while it may be true that the people Carol works with don’t find the word “handicapped” offensive, it is equally true that they may not feel safe speaking up.

I will remind you that no matter your job or education, your opinion does not outweigh the lived experience of a disabled person. I feel I need to say it louder for the people in the back: NO MATTER YOUR JOB OR EDUCATION, YOUR OPINION DOES NOT OUTWEIGH THE EXPRESS WANTS, NEEDS, OR LIVED EXPERIENCE OF A DISABLED PERSON. I don’t care if you’re the doctoriest doctor of doctors, I don’t care if you’re Doctor Fucking Who — and I LOVE Doctor Who — nothing you know or believe is more accurate or important than what a disabled person has lived through. You might know the science or statistics, but WE know the life.

I went to an endocrinologist for some preventative tests and stuff related to my OI. The entire appointment, this doctor kept saying, “OI sucks.” So he’s essentially telling me my life must suck. You know who gets to say my life with OI sucks? ME! That’s it! He knows plenty of doctor-y stuff, but he actually knows nothing about MY life. I don’t care what you know, if you are one of the 3 out of 4 people in a room who do NOT have OI, you don’t get to keep saying it sucks! I will tell you if it sucks.

But, back to Carol. After I explained this to her, did she come back and say, “Thank you for educating me. I’ve been so unaware”? ARE YOU KIDDING? Of course she didn’t! She came back to tell me I was full of anger and she passively-aggressively “God blessed” me on her way out.

I’m not always full of anger, but I was angry at her and that definitely came through. And by “God bless-ing” me, she just gave herself permission to continue her harmful behavior and dismissed the wants of, I would say, at least half the disabled population. It really bugs me when people will try to pick an argument with you and then use “God bless” as their escape hatch. Like I’ve said, it’s passive-aggressive. It’s also the refuge of someone who has no valid argument to make. Because she had no valid argument, she insulted me rather than arguing my points. And she probably left feeling like the “bigger person” because she invoked God. Meanwhile, I just kind of wanted to scream, “Come back and fight me, bitch!” because at the moment I WAS full of anger. Righteous anger.

You’re probably like, “Whoa, Laura, you really get worked up over this word.” And I do. I really do. I freely admit that I am probably too emotionally affected by the use of the word “handicapped.” But it IS harmful to the disabled community and I truly feel like I’ve been fighting this particular battle — using “disabled” instead of “handicapped” — my whole freaking life. 

And let’s be real, it’s not a big ask. We are asking the non-disabled community to replace a plethora of words with ONE word. We are condensing your vocabulary! We are making your lives easier! We want to be referred to by the term we prefer. We want non-disabled people to STOP policing our language and how we refer to ourselves. Listen to what I am saying and STOP telling me what I really mean.

I legitimately do not know why non-disabled people have such a hard time with the word “disabled.” Why does it make you so uncomfortable? It’s NOT a dirty word. It’s an accurate descriptor. I studied English in college. I love words and I literally cannot see why this one is so problematic. Why do you find this basically neutral word so ugly and prefer to use those other words that are far uglier?

[20:22]
I realized as I was prepping this episode that I was going to have to make it a two-parter because I haven’t even talked about euphemistic language yet, which, in my opinion, is actually even more harmful than slurs.

So that brings us to the end of another episode and my take on ableist slurs. I’m sure I missed several. You can fill me in by emailing badattitudespod@gmail.com or visiting @BadAttitudesPod on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter. You can also check out the website, badattitudespod.com.

Don’t forget to email any questions about disability that you’d like to have answered, or any topics you’d like the podcast to cover.

Remember you can follow my art business @FairyNerdy on Instagram and Facebook, and visit the FairyNerdy shop on Etsy.

Still no cool outro, so thanks for listening and I’ll talk to you in the next one.

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