A Little Too Honest

Relationship Questions (w/Dennis and Conchetta)

• Bobby Jarel • Season 2 • Episode 1

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Listens as we play Tonight’s Conversations card game, topic Relationship Debates. 

@BobbyJarel @CeeNelson004 @DenKirk

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SPEAKER_01

What's up everyone? Welcome to another episode of A Little Too Honest podcast. I am your host, Mr. Bobby Jarrell. Today I'm joined with my good friend Miss Conchetta as well as Mr. Dennis. Hello. So on today's episode of A Little Too Honest, we will be talking about relationships. Excuse me. So if y'all aren't familiar, there is um, I don't know what to call it, like an event that they do called Tonight's Conversation. Uh the creator is Mr. Ace Metafor. If y'all haven't heard of him, go on to social media, follow him. Uh he's doing amazing things. So they created a card game called Is Tonight's Conversations the Card Game, and this particular one is relationship debates. So we will be talking about uh we will go through some of the cards on here and just share our thoughts on there and just have an open and honest conversation, which is what I like to do on A Little Too Honest with Bobby Jorrell. So before we get into this, guys, I have a question just to start the conversation off. When it comes to relationships, where are y'all currently in your mindset when it comes to relationships? Is that something y'all open to, something y'all wanting? How are y'all feeling with that?

SPEAKER_02

Well, what for me? Um, I'm open to a relationship. I'm I'm currently single at the present moment. But am I talking to someone? Yes. I am getting to know someone and I'm getting to understand each other. Well, we're both getting on understanding each other. However, are we in a committed relationship? No. Are we basically committed to each other in a way we are? So it's kind of like uh an understanding of okay, I respect you, you respect me. At least if we bring something up to each other, we're basically bringing it up to individually to each other compared to just like going about each other's lives and not really kind of like communicating with each other. So that's where I'm at in my my situation.

SPEAKER_03

And so as far as for me, I am currently single. Um I'm open to a relationship, but you know, kind of just kind of like going with the flow of everything. Um that's pretty much where I'm at right now. But I mean, I'm open for a talk, you know, a conversation or a talk with someone or like getting to know someone, but you know, currently it's like no one right now. So um, you know, I'm open.

SPEAKER_02

So that means she's available, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

What's your uh what's your uh what's your Instagram name?

SPEAKER_03

Instagram is C E Nelson.

SPEAKER_02

Holla at her. Yeah. Holla at your girl.

SPEAKER_01

It's spelled, it's spelled like C-E.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, it's C-E-E-N-E-L-S-O-N-004. There you go. That's where you can find me at.

SPEAKER_01

So hopping them DMs. Um I think for me, I I was previously in a relationship. Uh I was in a relationship for eight years. Um, I've been single for three and a half years. Um, in a space where I enjoy connection, I enjoy the intimacy and all of that. Um, but I'm not, I don't know if I'm not gonna say I'm not ready for a full-on commitment, but I want to be able to be like honest with each other and be able to have that honest conversation and discussion of like, hey, this is what I need, what I want, what I desire, here's what I don't want. And hopefully being able to meet somebody in the middle of like I'm willing to compromise in a sense of whatever whatever needs to be compromised with, but also just being able to say, okay, this is what I can give you. Is this enough for you? Is this what will make you happy? If it isn't, then that's just something I need to know because I don't want to waste my time and I don't want to waste nobody else's time. Um so like having somebody to be able to like spend time with, do things with, that is like awesome. It feels good. Um it feels good to be able to have somebody that I know like has my back and supports me in that way. So um, so I enjoy that. Um my next question for y'all is because like all of us sitting here, it was we were talking about what the topic of this video would be. We were talking about just like life after 40. I just turned 40. Um, Dennis will be 41 in October, Coachella's 41. Couldn't be 41 in um 85 babies. That's right, that's right. I'm 86. I just I just made 40. Um, but we're just talking about the once you hit 40, is like your idea of some of the things that you kind of once had in mind for yourself, for your life, or like relationships, that kind of changes once you get when you get to a certain age because you don't want or desire some of the same things you kind of like once desired, right? So for you guys, would y'all say that now that y'all are at the age that y'all are at, it's different from when you were 20 or 30 in what you kind of expected from a partner from a relationship.

SPEAKER_03

Absolutely. You see, when I was 20, I'm gonna tell y'all, I was a hoe. I was homeless.

SPEAKER_00

And I'm admitting it.

SPEAKER_03

I was moving, I was doing this, I was doing that, that I was flipping this one, this one was upside down. Oh, ooh. It was bad. But now, okay, as I grown and learned and learned from past relationships and stuff that I have been through, it's like a whole different, it's like as if I'm a whole different person.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_03

You know, if that makes sense. Like I want different, I want better, you know. I want commitment, I want one person, you know. I want, you know, someone that could also that could be my best friend, but also my lover at the same time. Turn them out at night, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Friggin up. What?

SPEAKER_03

Flip them inside out. But yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

This call a little too honest. So let's make it.

SPEAKER_03

But um, but yeah, you know, but when you hit 40s, it's a whole different level. It's a whole different ball game. It's a whole different ball game for real. Y'all have fun while y'all young. Because when you hit this age right here, things that you didn't think. And it gets harder. It gets harder. I'm telling you, it gets harder to find in that person that you want.

SPEAKER_01

I think the thing that makes it harder for me is as you get older, you it you hit you understand what it is that you want and what you don't want. And so, like when you're younger, you kind of tolerate so much more than you should tolerate. But once you get older, you're like, man, look, I got I make amiss amount of money, I got my bills paid, I got my house, my car, disagree. Money in my bank, you know. You disagree? Okay, well. I disagree.

SPEAKER_02

I disagree because when I was younger, I was really adamant on certain type of vibe that I wanted. Okay. So I was big on, oh, you had to be six figures, you had to be um uh a person of statue, you had to be goal sitting, you had to be all of these. So I kind of really built uh uh what what my friends used to call me sometimes. Shout out to shout out to Andrew in New York and Greg in DC. They made me realize like when I was in my 20s, I looked at at my significant other as okay, they had to be a certain of a certain statue. They had to be um unfortunately, uh not unfortunately, but basically I'm I'm not just the straight character in life. I'm basically overall uh a guy who loves men. So wait. What are you gay? And I'm mad, nigga. So you have to FYI, y'all.

SPEAKER_03

Everybody on this panel is gay.

SPEAKER_02

You're right. Facts. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03

So wait, I'm sorry? I'm not gay. Who are you? Exactly. Next people are talking, Dennis.

SPEAKER_02

Thank you. So my idea in my 20s was oh, they had to be six-figure man with masculine vibes, and you know, they had to be this top-tier guy and stuff like that. And that was me in my 20s and a little partly in my 30s. So my whole perception of them was like, okay, every guy that I gave I dated had to be that kind of criteria. So if they was that criteria, I didn't fuck with them. Or I didn't mess with them. If they wasn't that criteria, I didn't mess with them at all. And I didn't really look at them in that in that world. So let's say if uh if a feminine type individual had came up to me, hell no. I would not give them no time of day. If they showed any type of feminine trait, so that's even if they go and come to me, hey girl, or if they came to me with some type of kind of like submissive type in mentality, I would not give them no time of day at all. So that was my mentality at that time, at my time. So I wasn't really kind of yes, I did have my free time, but also at the end of the day, if they wasn't fitting that type of role, I didn't give them no time at all, period.

SPEAKER_01

You know, it's I don't feel like it's a thing of disagreeing, it's that's just your experience. That was your lived experience.

SPEAKER_03

I also feel like it was a level of maturity as well. Yes, yes, your level of maturity really disquing you determined.

SPEAKER_01

Sorry, I wasn't it determined take your time, take your time.

SPEAKER_03

Right, right, take the time, take your time, let me use it. Your level of maturity determines, you know, what you want and everything. So at that time you was very mature. At your young age, you was a very mature individual. Like now for me, I'm a very well, I've always been a very mature individual, even when I was younger.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

So I always expected above my stance. Okay, if that makes sense. Yeah. So maturity play do plays a really big role in all of it.

SPEAKER_01

The thing, like for me, I feel like some of it was like just insecurity, right? So like not necessarily thinking that I wasn't worthy, but feeling like I didn't, I wasn't worthy of that certain level, that's that certain stat status or whatever. Um, as I got older, that's when I kind of was like, this is what I want, this is what I deserve. Okay. Um, and so that's when my mindset kind of shifted a little bit. Uh I don't want to just be with anybody, I need to be with somebody that has something on for themselves. And then even when it comes to like the we talk about like that uh hookup culture, I feel like I'm in a space now where I don't have that desire, and I feel like I've been there for a while. I don't have the desire to just like hook up, do the random hookups and things like that. If if you can't add to my life in some way, shape, or form, I don't, there's nothing that I can do, that nothing you can do for me. Like I can take care of myself. Like something make it lonely, make it boring, but hey, I can take care of myself. And it's not about somebody, it's not about them being able to pay my bills or add to anything because I can pay my bills. I pay my bills, my bills are paid, but it's I want to be with somebody who brings something to the table. Even if I don't need it, at least I know it's there if needed. I can bring what I need to bring to the table. And I feel like if we both show up in a way where we are fully shown up as individuals and what we have, then we should be good. Where you shouldn't want for anything, I shouldn't want for anything. Where you lack, I hold you up. Where I lack, you hold me up. And I think that a lot of people nowadays are struggling with that because there's so many people that are not healed. There's a lot of people that are not.

SPEAKER_03

But you know, wait, hold up. That's a whole different topic. That's a that's a that's a new episode. Right.

SPEAKER_04

Let's leave that with illness, it's a whole different level.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, so let's leave that with Zach, because that's a whole other episode right now, for real.

SPEAKER_01

But I think like that's when it comes to like the whole relationship thing, those are a lot of things that we have to like keep in mind. It's like it's not as easy to just jump in a relationship and think that, oh, you know, I'm good, I'm great. This relationship is gonna be great. It's two people having to show up and be authentic, be able to like to be transparent, be vulnerable, like I talked about the other week in my mental health forum called Removing the Mask, which is available on uh YouTube. Go to the Bobby Jurell and search removing the mask mental health forum. I'll put the link somewhere down here. Um but yeah, so when we talk about uh relationships, so this um topic right here we got tonight's conversation by Ace Metaphor on Instagram. Um we're gonna be talking about relationship debates. So we're gonna take turns pulling the card, we'll read the topic, and we'll just have a discussion about it, alright? Got it. Y'all good? Yeah. Alright, let's do a few rounds of this. So I'll go first. Alright. You are at a bar when someone picks a fight with your significant other. This person is the same sex as you, but you are no match for them. Do you defend your significant other? Explain.

SPEAKER_02

You defend your significant other, period. Absolutely. If yo, baby, if we if that person is coming for you, I'ma ride or die for you. So at the end of the day, no matter what, I've always been taught, even if that person is bigger than you and stuff like that, at the end of the day, you you defend who you are. You defend your stance in any situation. Now, at the end of the day, okay, if that person is bigger than you, cool. If you feel, you know, at the end of the day, some giants are easy to fall. Are easy to fall. They only giants because of their looks. They're not giants behind who they are. So I'm gonna defend mine. I'm gonna protect mine. I was raised and I'm from I'm from Savannah, Georgia. So, yes, the very much a South.

SPEAKER_03

A fake South. Yeah, we this is always a debate.

SPEAKER_01

For those of you watching, do y'all feel like Georgia is truly the South? We're from Louisiana, right? We're from Louisiana. Do y'all feel Georgia is truly the South? I'm the only Georgia person. Savannah, Georgia.

SPEAKER_03

Please leave in the comments because this is always a debate for us, and we always going back and forth. So please leave in the comments what you think that's.

SPEAKER_02

Who was the original colony? Who was the right who was the original colony?

SPEAKER_00

Okay, colonies. Let's hit back on tests.

SPEAKER_02

However, so my family had always taught me to defend myself and defend who I am. So when it comes down to love, and when it comes down to you loving the person that you're with, you're gonna always defend them. Yes, at the end of the day, sometimes some some of us do have a perception of being very over-dramatic, or we may have a situation where things kinda we're we're we're kind of over-dramatic about a situation and stuff like that. However, when it comes down to you defending your significant other, you're supposed to ride or die for this person because this is a person that you love and you care about, and this is your person. So you're gonna basically understand, like, okay, baby, at the end of the day, that was wrong or whatever, but I'm gonna defend my baby. I'm gonna I'm gonna stand right for my person. So I'm hey, I'm scrapping. Even if we do win, if we even if we do lose, I'm gonna scrap. I'm gonna scrap. Nine times out of ten, we ain't gonna lose. We ain't gonna lose because I'm just gonna pick up some shit and fuck the shit out your ass with that. But if I feel like I'm losing. But at the at the end of the day, I'm gonna ride for my baby. I'm gonna ride my baby, is my everything.

SPEAKER_03

Right. And for me, if it's if they're against you, they're against me too.

SPEAKER_02

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03

So, so I got you a hundred percent. Right. A hundred percent. I'm gonna stay in my mind a hundred percent. Me as a person, I am very overprotective of friends, people that's close to me, and my partner. So, I what's all that for?

SPEAKER_04

Shadows are.

SPEAKER_03

Your face is very frozen right now. No one likes to know what the hell all this is.

SPEAKER_02

So they're talking about her and the best friends, okay?

SPEAKER_01

No, you are not nothing about you. Nothing about you, nothing about you.

SPEAKER_03

I am very overprotective of all other people. I know she is. So if they're against you, they're against me too. Yes. So, I mean, we're again it's me and you against the world.

SPEAKER_01

So here's my thing. Here's my thing. It's two things. Political. Yes, yes, yes. I I I'm the same way. I'm the same way. If somebody is messing with my my partner, I'm gonna ride or die. I'm gonna ride or die. But that's also because I know who I am as a person, right? Right. Um I I know that I'm gonna I can pick if I can't beat your ass one-on-one, I'm gonna pick something up that I'm gonna beat your ass with. I'm gonna take you out, find one of them pressure points, I'm gonna find something to do what I gotta do. Now, on the flip side of that is if you are in a relationship with somebody who you know this person is not a combative person or this person is not a like a physical person who doesn't like to fight, you might need to tone it down a little bit sometimes. Like, if you out and about and you know your boo can't fight, your boo ain't never been in a fight a day in their life, don't be picking, picking with people, and then you fuck around to get your boo ass beat.

SPEAKER_03

But the the the question was, is somebody picking with your boo? Mm-hmm. Ain't you you and your boo picking with nobody? Except your if somebody picking with your boo, then yeah.

SPEAKER_01

But I think even in the sense of like like them messing or starting something. So if somebody's picking with your boo, don't be like, don't, don't fight back. Just be like, you know what? I ain't got time for this, I'm too mature, I'm too, too, too classy for this. Me and my boo just gonna get up and we're gonna leave.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, well, first you do try to de-escalate the situation. You try to de-escalate the situation and you're like, hey, look, such and such, such and such, whatever.

SPEAKER_04

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03

But if that don't work and they continue to escalate, then you're gonna escalate with them.

SPEAKER_01

You can't be escalating if you know your boo can't fight. But my boo's gonna fight. So you're gonna fight, you make sure you're gonna make sure you got a boo that can fight.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_03

Not me making sure my boo can fight, but most of them know how to fight.

SPEAKER_01

But if you got the boo that can fight, man, you might don't don't get your boo ass beat.

SPEAKER_02

And then the car. Okay, so if you don't have a booze, you don't have a you don't have a boo in that fight. How but at the end of the day, everything is kind of escalating, then you understand the stance. You understand that at the end of the day, the the person that you love is not going to support you in a combative type manner. So you try your best to de-escalate the situation so it won't be a fight. But if it comes to an altercation type vibe, you understand that you have to take these motherfuckers out.

SPEAKER_03

Yes, but the question is this is against your person, and you is taking up.

SPEAKER_02

But you have to take them motherfuckers out. Right. Alright, so pick that motherfucker that's the head of the lead and you well on that motherfucker.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, I think everybody answer is yes, you defend your partner. Yeah, you defend it. You defend your partner. So if you if you if you if you can't fight and you get your ass beat, at least you defended your partner. Right. That's all it matters. That's all it matters. And that's what I'm trying to say.

SPEAKER_02

At the end of the day, you defended it. Moving on. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

significant other gets their dream job in the city far away you do not want them you do not want to move they take the job and move does this mean they value their new job over the relationship explain no no to me no to me go first but did this even start go first because you took over the first one so let me read I don't feel like they value their new job more than a relationship but I feel like they're putting themselves first and it's not a bad thing I think no matter what happens in life you should always be willing to put yourself first if you're in a relationship with someone and they can't understand that then that's just something that might not that might not be the best relationship and I think that allowing your partner to follow their dreams is more important than keeping them with you. I'd rather you be happy and doing what like especially if it's something that you've been working your ass off for for years or whatever going to school and going and doing all these things it would hurt to see you leave but at the same time I would say I want to support you in your dream because I know that this is what you've been working for. And I think a lot of times in relationships we put aside the things that we want and that we work for for our partners and then that's where that resentment comes in. Whereas like well 10 years down the line I gave up this to be with you. And then if that relationship don't work out it's like well what if so I think I I feel like it would be hard but at the same time if it's if that job or that whatever that opportunity is is worth it is worth giving you yourself the opportunity to see what it could be.

SPEAKER_03

Right. I feel like um support support your partner wherever they want to go you know if your relationship is good and y'all have trust and commitment within each other if they job take them somewhere else support them support them and they want to take it tell them go. Because you ain't gonna be too far away I'm sure you're gonna go every weekend you're gonna go and visit you're gonna you know all that stuff so it's all about support that's what they really want to do. Your job is to support them through whatever they want to do and you support them. You never feel like never make them feel guilty on trying to go after what they really wanted or what they really been working towards. So either you go with them or just support them. You know I mean support. That's my word support.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah what you got dancing well I'm 5050 because I grew up also in a family where there were more quote unquote 50s tradition whereas the woman is more of the silent person and the man is the lead um I understand the con I I always understood the concept of my grandmother. My grandmother was was highly on the representation of my husband is the leader of the family. So wherever whatever he does and wherever he goes this is what we're supposed to do and whereas I grew up in a generation of you know we all support each other and we all kind of come together as a family and we try to make sure either we go the route of who's the breadwinner or who's the provider and that's the same thing also however breadwinner and provider are totally the two different aspects for different generations so in this concept here support your man support your woman both if they find this dream job support them and everything but if you do have a concept of a relationship where you have the man is the lead and the man is the provider and the man is all of this and stuff like that then if you went into this relationship understanding that was it so unfortunately you have to hold on to that at the end of the day you have to hold on to it but if you you went into a relationship where both of us are we parallel with each other and we're trying to rise to the top together and stuff like that and if the let's say the woman finds that dream job outside then that man should be able to support that woman in reference to finding her dream job and at the end of the day no matter where we move at we're able to find everything that we want to do now hold on if you live in a rural area come on it it it is a hard situation of you let's say if the woman is in a rural area she found her dream job whereas you're basically as a man and you're trying to kind of navigate yourself through that type of situation yes you're gonna have a struggle but if you love that woman you'll basically understand that this is what she wanted to do and you love her and could truly love you truly want to basically stand by beside her as well as vice versa if that man finds that job and you try you struggling trying to find your your own thing you're supporting that man so I'm gonna be a firm believer of support your surviv support your significant other in any kind any aspect like with that is kind of that that ego is a thing that a lot of people have to learn to let go of because it's a generation though it is it's also a generation shit situation man it 100% is but I think that you can't hold somebody back because you feel that it's making you feel less than or making you feel like you haven't accomplished anything and instead of saying okay my partner is doing X, Y, and Z, for me that's motivation.

SPEAKER_01

It's like dang Bay knocking it out I want to make sure that I can support Bay by doing just as well or not even just as well but by doing well enough for myself. We don't need to be on the same level but as long as as Bay continues to grow let me make sure that I'm growing as well and I think that a lot of times what happens is people be in a relationship and they're like if you go that means that you're succeeding that means that you're doing better that means that you're accomplishing things that I haven't been able to accomplish and I don't want you to do that so I want to hold you back.

SPEAKER_02

No disagree okay why I disagree as devices as devil's advocate in this situation what if I'm in a relationship where it's been more of a traditional standpoint where that man is the lead so I think my my my thought process on that is if your ego is so fragile that you can't say Bay if the man and woman relationship if we making let's say the man is the lead he making let's say $80,000 a year right if that woman can say you know what you've been making $80,000 I've been working a part-time job making $40,000 a year but I got my degree I got this I'm about to be making $120,000 a year so that's a whole nother $80,000 on top of what we've been making and if your ego is too fragile as that man to say oh I'm making $80 she was making $40 but now she's making $120 that's $80,000 more into the household.

SPEAKER_01

If your ego is so fragile then to me you're not a man because if you want to hold on to that traditional values those traditional traditional values are great back in the day but right now when we're looking at the way the economy is and the things that's going on I want to be able to have not me but I'm just saying like in general but like if we if we have a family I want my family to have the best if that means that my wife is making sixty thousand dollars than me I don't give a damn because it's all coming into the house right but as a as a man yo your men have this idea of I'm in control because I'm making more money no you're in control because you know how to lead if you know how to lead then that's what you do a woman if you know how to lead if you know how to lead 100% and I think that that's what people think they they look at the financial thing and think oh she's making more money than me so that makes me inferior.

SPEAKER_02

No it doesn't what about the women that do have traditional values okay what you mean have traditional values of the man is gonna be the provider period so it does not hold on it does not mean how much they make okay it all depends on that man being the traditional provider in the relationship so when it comes down to a perception of that person finding some other opportunity that's better for them and they're gonna follow pursuit however inside or internally they had a different perception of where they wanted to be in that can in I'm just gonna bring up a particular community. So let's okay for example a man finds a job in Arizona however his wife is a community leader in Alabama she she based herself in Alabama but yet still she has a traditional value of the man is the leader and the man is supposed to provide so she ups and roots her whole scenario outside of Alabama to Arizona for this man. So you trying to say that she should have done that because the man is leading bullshit no I don't understand the question I say no what's the question the question is this woman has outside of monetary situation she made her community in Alabama but when she up and roots to Arizona because her husband for him because of him because he found a different opportunity she's supposed to just forget about what she was supposed to do.

SPEAKER_01

No I think if if we're gonna as a if let's say it's a marriage right versus just a relationship for people dating right um if we're going to up and move it has to be an overall situation that benefits everybody as a whole so if you move into Arizona for a job and you're not making X amount of money that that makes sense for me to leave my job then that's something that I don't think would be a good situation as a whole for the read for our relationship you a military you're a military veterinary right not veterinarian vet veteran veteran yeah yeah yeah so you know when it comes down to military at once some part some point of your life or some type some other lifetime frame for other people they always had to move right because of their job in the military. Yes so that woman had to basically those women that was married to that man had to suck it up and move there right so that's a different situation so it's one thing because if you if you're marrying a military person you already know or should kind of know how the military works so people gonna go get um PCS to different duty stations for a limited amount of time so it's not saying that you're going here and you're gonna be permanently here so if you are dating a um a service member you already know there's a chance that you're gonna be moving at least three to five times within their their enlistment versus me just dating a doctor or somebody somebody stationary right so it's kind of different so you kind of already know what to expect when you are getting into a into that situation with a military member.

SPEAKER_02

Some traditional families have that perception of a woman they will meet a guy and marry that guy and and they will have that perception of I'm gonna follow whatever that man does but then yet and still they're going to do certain things community wise or um or church wise they're gonna find their own community and you know latch onto that community and then at the end of the day when that man finds that other job they have to move so they're gonna feel some type of way about moving.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah but I I think that it it depends on the situation. So if if me moving is going to be a better situation for our family for our relationship then yes take that opportunity. But sometimes it's not that though that's what I'm saying so if it's not then you say no if it is women can't say certain women would not say no I would say that certain women would not say no and also certain men would not say no as well but it's the difference between not saying no and not being able to say no we can you can say no to whatever you want to say no to it is not 1940 it's not 1950 to where a woman is just dependent on a man crawl it's not saying that a woman is just dependent on a man because she can't go out and find her own job she can't go out and go to school and get her own degree and take care of herself so it's not that same situation. So like now if if you don't want to go you don't have to go that's hard that's gonna be hard for women though no it won't and hard for men who in that you because you have that mindset of you have that mindset of that old traditional type of relationship.

SPEAKER_02

That's your I'm sticking for the traditional people who do have lifestyles like that though.

SPEAKER_01

Right but everybody don't have lifestyles like that very true very true very true not every woman is gonna feel that way true very true and me speaking for the community woman of woman right now y'all you too but anyway um woman of a woman keep speaking upon women and men that's me yeah because you gay right okay so um you know so yeah no that's not gonna work I can I I get it so yeah but with traditional grandma and papa and all them yeah because back in the day respect a hundred percent respect but still like grandma and grandpa grandma and grandpa stayed well grandma stayed in those relationships because grandma didn't have those opportunities to go out and go to school she couldn't get the jobs that she wanted on her own you know man so she depended on that man but I think now if if you're with somebody in a relationship and they can afford to take care of you they can afford to do the things that y'all need to do to make y'all happy then go for it do it. Absolutely but it's not it's never been I don't think right now in life in the world that we're in now it's a thing that nobody can't go out and just do what they want to do. Like you you have every opportunity every opportunity that's afforded to man is afforded to a woman no matter gay straight bi lesbian confused whatever it may be so go for it. I add hopefully you guys are communicating in y'all relationships to to have that understanding with each other and hopefully it's uh open communication and not just one sided all the time right right y'all please communicate yeah that that is a very huge part of a relationship is communication communication will lead to so much success and long longevity so please please communicate with your partner if you feel a certain way please talk to him if you feel like you know anything any feelings or whatever please sit down and have a conversation if y'all can't sit down and have a conversation together as a as a couple and and as adults then it's not meant to be right that's really like for real that's a huge red flag absolutely if you feel like I can't go to this person and tell this person something that's already a sign right there that might be absolutely so please communication is the number one biggest factor in a relationship especially in LGBT community please communicate with your partner I take that all right I don't I don't think that's just LGBT I think it's just relationships in general right it's everything in general but I represent LGBT so I don't know anything about that I don't know anything about that I don't I don't know what LGBT thing anyway anyway anyway communicate don't I don't know what that don't pay him no mind okay it's your question all right this next question a woman confesses to her significant other that she gave a co-worker oral sex oh shit he feels that worse than cheating because she didn't get anything in return does he have a point please explain this Gerard let you leave this one I I saw the last one you go no I saw the last one no you you read the question no first hold up hold up y'all let me let me um a woman confesses her confession the things I didn't worry right I feel like that it's not worse than cheating because she didn't get anything in return but it is worse than cheating if that makes sense but is it not cheating it's cheating absolutely so how is it worse than cheating it's cheating it's still cheating but he said this thing says here that because she didn't get anything in return it's like as if he's selling her right right so I don't know because I feel like it's cheating is like any worse than cheating does he have a point no he don't have a little point he didn't like a little pip like he's a pimp I don't like it like is that so it's like okay if she would have gotten something in return it'd be like oh it's okay it's cool right no it's not cool it's not cool because she shouldn't have never done in the first goddamn place she shouldn't have never done the first place Dennis um well I feel to a perception of like it's it's a give and take situation okay I'm just joking it's a give and situation like yeah so when we talk about is it okay I feel like it's it's it's not okay because at the end of the day it's wrong like you no matter what it is you cheating like I don't care if it's oral or kissing or whatever it's like it's still cheating.

SPEAKER_02

So regardless of him getting something in return I mean her getting something in return it's still wrong in my opinion that's just my opinion y'all disagree I agree wrong and then they I disagree because why that is not wrong that is wrong oh it's wrong it's wrong I'm trying to say it's wrong because it should be it's supposed to be a music disagree disagree.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah you do but anyway I I don't like that question no we're just gonna move on all right y'all ready your significant other has been acting suspicious lately in the middle of the night you wake up and realize they left their phone unlocked would you go through it?

SPEAKER_02

Explain yes I will go through it no no I ain't going through it I'm gonna disagree no because usually a per a person I've always had a mentality of if I if I go through your phone I'm going to look for something nine times of ten I'm gonna find something so it's gonna piss me off even though yes at the at the end of the day they were still out there doing situations so if I didn't really go through it they would have still been cheating or they still would have been doing certain whatever they was going to do and that was going to hurt me even more. So I guess I guess I hate to say this, but the less you know, the better off you are mentally.

SPEAKER_03

So I feel that um will what will be revealed to you will be revealed to you. Regardless if you go looking for it or if you don't go looking for it. I would suggest not to go looking for it because it's gonna come to you anyway. That's my thing. So if you go looking for it, if you go to this form and look for it, and you find something, then you find something, but everything will always come to the light, baby. It's gonna always come to the light. You know what I'm saying? So at the end of the day, then shut up. At the end of the day, at the end of the day, even if you don't go looking for it, the truth will always reveal itself.

SPEAKER_01

True that, true that, true that. Um, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03

I just lose Anna.

SPEAKER_01

How you do that, do that, hey? Um I don't know, I just quiet. Don't not from the South. No, no, no. Um, so here's here's the thing, okay? I feel, listen, listen, Linda's listen.

SPEAKER_03

I'm listening, Linda. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01

I feel that if if the opportunity comes up and it allows me to be able to go in and see some things and get that confirmation, I'm gonna go in and get that confirmation.

SPEAKER_03

I don't want no confirmation.

SPEAKER_01

I I like, you know, I don't know if my ex is gonna watch this or not, but there's been times and I'm like, oh, you sleep.

SPEAKER_02

So I'm like so you went through your ex's shit.

SPEAKER_01

Did I say that?

SPEAKER_03

No, but you just showed it.

SPEAKER_01

You just Boom I did, I did, I did. But I I I don't know, I I feel like I don't know, I I just I I don't know. I think sometimes I'm just bullshitting. Cause like, yes, I have, yes, I did. Um if sometimes the opportunity comes up and I want to check and see, I just want to check and see.

SPEAKER_03

Well, you know what? I have I have been been there also, right? To where I did go and check. But now I don't have the nothing desire to go with it.

SPEAKER_01

Because you're not in a relationship.

SPEAKER_03

Well, even if I was in one, I got a question for y'all. I got a question. Hold your question. Okay. So even if I was in a relationship, right? My last relationship, or relationship before that, I um I didn't go through the phone, but it was signs or whatever you want to call it, right?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

So I acted on those signs. Intuitions. Was it right? Intuition. And that's a big thing, especially for a woman.

SPEAKER_02

Come on. A woman's intuition. Y'all have that.

SPEAKER_03

It's a huge, huge thing. Even if you confront them about and lie, you still follow your intuition. Come on now. That's a huge thing. So, and that's what I did, and my intuition always went. It never failed me yet.

SPEAKER_02

So I have a question. So even if you're basically you're not in a relationship, right?

SPEAKER_03

Right.

SPEAKER_02

But you're talking to someone and y'all had a discussion about, okay, listen here. Either, either a discussion of, alright, so you're the only person I fuck with, or like at the end of the day, I feel like we are basically in uh understanding of each other. Would you go with that person's personal stuff?

SPEAKER_03

No, I won't. No, I won't.

SPEAKER_02

I wouldn't.

SPEAKER_03

Because we're not in a relationship. It's not a comedian relationship. Even if it wasn't a relationship, I still wouldn't go through it. Right now, at my age, I don't have time for that shit. Fuck no. You got better things to work with? You got time for it? Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00

I don't know.

SPEAKER_03

I got time for it. I don't have time for it. I don't have time for it. So you don't you wouldn't worry about that though? That's where the so if anything's going on, it won't reveal to me. That's what they're doing.

SPEAKER_01

Here's my thing. Here's my thing. And it's like, it's not saying that it would be like an end-all be all type thing. But it's like if something, if I go through and I do find something, I bring it to the table like, hey, you do it X, Y, and Z. If that's what you want to do, let me know. Let's have a conversation about it.

SPEAKER_03

Right. Again, that goes back to communication from what I said from when we first started this whole thing, right? Okay. Communication goes back to communication. Communicate with me. If this is what you want to do, then communicate with me. That's what you want to do, so we could be on the same page. Right.

SPEAKER_01

I might be going to go out and do my own thing. You do. I do me. We come back together. We could go.

SPEAKER_03

Good. But communicate that way.

SPEAKER_02

I'm just gonna throw a I'm gonna throw a wrench in this situation. Throw that wrench in there. Throw that wrench in there.

SPEAKER_00

Some people at all. Wow.

SPEAKER_02

Some people really some people feel like, okay, at the end of the day, if I be too open with you, then I feel like I can lose you.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

So I will rather you I would rather throw this whole fantasy out there of oh, I'm I'm really into you. You're the only person I'm talking to you. So you rather lie to keep me.

SPEAKER_00

See right.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, no, some people are like that. But at the end of the day, that lie is gonna come to the surface, man. Like you can't lie for that.

SPEAKER_03

And sometimes you can't lie for anything. And why you lie? I can see right through it. See right again, a woman's intuition.

SPEAKER_00

See right through that big thing. You would know. What are we talking about?

SPEAKER_03

Just see right through it. You know, like no, no, no, no, no, no. You ain't about to lie to me.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_03

So this is your service.

SPEAKER_01

Question I just wait. So a question, would y'all go through your phone? I I I probably would. I probably would. I probably would. I said no. I ain't gonna go.

SPEAKER_02

I mean a person she knows me, hey, and then they hey, right, do what you do, bro. Or you just just don't bring me nothing. Don't bring me on shit, bro. We good. It's prep.

SPEAKER_03

Is it appropriate for your right to come on that's another big thing?

SPEAKER_01

Prep prep. Not predict. What's the other one called? Um, the what's the other prep thing called? The um it's prep and not um doxy, doxyprep. Doxy prep, doxy prep. If y'all ain't on it, check with y'all providers, ask them if y'all be a good candidate. You don't have to be a gay male to be on prep and doxy prep. That is very true. Female, straight, gay, buy, lesbian, men straight, gay, by, lesbian. You can get on it. So don't don't think that's it's a gay.

SPEAKER_03

Y'all buy people, please get on it.

SPEAKER_01

Anybody. I learned that through tape. Anybody. You write anybody. Did I mention her name on this podcast? Okay, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_03

Is it appropriate for your best friend and your significant other to routinely text each other about things you don't include, about things that don't include you? Please explain. I say yeah.

SPEAKER_01

A lot of things.

SPEAKER_03

I say yeah, too. I say yeah.

SPEAKER_02

I said I've been on both ends. I've been on both ends.

SPEAKER_03

You always have a long explanation, so you last. Why are you gonna throw me at that? You always go ahead.

SPEAKER_01

You wouldn't definitely advocate. By the beat.

SPEAKER_03

By the beat.

SPEAKER_01

I'm a Libra. Okay. No, I think I think it's okay. I think it's like it's it's it's like healthy to have that type of connection. You want, for me, I want my significant other, I want my my friends to be able to have a connection and a relationship outside of me. Um, so I'm I'm okay with it. I'm I'm I'm okay with it. Now, like y'all just like randomly hanging out and shit and don't not telling me that y'all hanging out, then I will question it. But just for the sake of just like connecting and hanging out and spending and talking, I don't mind it. I don't I think it's okay.

SPEAKER_03

My thing is that I think it I think it's okay too. You know, like if my syndicate others communicate with my best friend, cool. I'm okay with it, especially if uh just called.

SPEAKER_01

It went down the wrong hole. Okay. I was trying to be inconspicuous. Was I not?

SPEAKER_03

No.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Well, okay.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

But my thing is that um, you know, my my significant other and my best friend, of course I want y'all to I want y'all to have a good relationship just as much as me and you have a good relationship. You know, because my friends are very important to me just as much as my significant other is. So if my significant significant other will have a good relationship with my friends, that means a lot to me. So I want them to have a good relationship with them. So that I don't know if you're trying to plan something or you know, you you know that it's safe to go to my best friend or you know, someone that's really close to me to go ahead and try to do that. So yes, I definitely agree. I don't always have to be included, but if it becomes a too much of a thing, absolutely, I'm gonna include myself. You don't have to include me because I'm gonna step in myself, but yeah, absolutely. Dennis?

SPEAKER_02

Um I've been on both sides, so I've been I've been basically a person that's communicated to my best friend's person, and also I've been a person that found out that my best friend was communicating with my lover. So I mean I'm okay with it. Now, the only thing that I I really think it's an issue is if that best friend goes back and tells certain things that they don't need to tell, then yes, I think that as a negative. Right.

SPEAKER_01

That ain't no best friend.

SPEAKER_02

That's a negative. But outside at the end of the day, yo, if y'all have a communication, um I have been really cool with my best friend's ex and stuff like that. And I mean, I've respected the guy. So at the end of the day, you know, I didn't, I didn't have any bad blood with him. Yes, my friend had bad blood with him, but you know, I didn't have bad blood with him, but I understood the respectful level of that's my best friend, and this is his partner, or this is her partner. So I need to really have the respect for my best friend because that is the person that I met before you as the significant other. So yeah, so I agree with that. Have it, have it, you know, as long as it's respectful.

SPEAKER_01

Um I think if you have if your best friend is telling your significant other things that they shouldn't be telling them, or things that kind of like mess up your relationship, then that's not your best friend. Um, I don't know. Like, I'm not saying like keep all your dirty, deep, dirty, dark secrets, but there's just like certain things that okay, this is between us as friends. You don't need to be sharing this with my my partner or whatever it may be. So um, but I was just like, I'll just keep an eye on that because maybe they're not, they sh they not necessarily a good friend in my view. You ain't true to the game. All right, y'all ready to go? She was a friend. We need a song. Let's we need a we need a song in the mission. Y'all ready?

SPEAKER_03

Intermission.

SPEAKER_01

She was a friend of mine.

SPEAKER_02

Hey, she lied. She knows she left with my main. I'm saying my version. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Took what I had. She was a friend of mine. Oh, excuse me.

SPEAKER_03

Oh. That's phone your version.

unknown

Huh?

SPEAKER_03

Go ahead, Dennis. Read your question.

SPEAKER_02

Not been drinking?

SPEAKER_03

It's screwed day, y'all.

SPEAKER_02

Right. They've been drinking. Oh, okay. So after 20 years of marriage, your spouse says they are attracted to the same sex and want to explore that with you. What happens next?

SPEAKER_03

Let's go, baby. Let's do it. Let's motherfucking do it. I'm down too. Because I'm attracted to the oh my bad.

SPEAKER_01

No, I'm gonna finish what you were saying.

SPEAKER_03

I'm attracted to the same sex too.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, so let's take a word like that. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

SPEAKER_01

Pause, pause. Okay, pause. She's looking at from her perspective.

SPEAKER_03

As far as the question goes, yes, let's do it.

SPEAKER_01

No, baby. I have a question. This is saying like a man and woman. I think this is a man and woman.

SPEAKER_03

Let's make it to LGBT.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. No, it can't, because if you're with her and she's attracted to you and you're in a relationship with you, of course she's attracted to the same time.

SPEAKER_02

Go for it. Okay. So let's say if your woman came to you and asked you if you if, yo, I really want a man in a situation.

SPEAKER_03

Absolutely not.

SPEAKER_02

Which why? Why?

SPEAKER_03

Why not? I mean, why? Why should I? And then you want to turn around. I can turn around too. Why should I? Why? Why, why should I?

SPEAKER_02

So y'all been together for 20 years. Okay. Right?

SPEAKER_03

Y'all have So after all these 20 years, now all of a sudden you want a man? Fuck you. I mean.

SPEAKER_02

But okay, no, no, no, no, no, continue. No, no, no. Listen, listen, listen, listen, continue.

SPEAKER_03

I'm thinking of the woman, I didn't get the buggy.

SPEAKER_02

But you already know to the women. So so you will not be open to the situation.

SPEAKER_03

Absolutely not. Next. Hell no.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, so as a guy, as a guy, we are all just we are all we are all naturally attracted to women in general, to be honest.

SPEAKER_03

Gay or straight?

SPEAKER_02

Gay or straight. We are we think that some more okay. I would say maybe about 97% of us feel like women are in reference to a gay perception, okay? That women are beautiful. That we find women are beautiful. However, yes, by a certain percentage of them wise, would be like, well, I wouldn't do nothing with a woman, period, or whatever, but we do find them attractive.

SPEAKER_03

LGBT men.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah, very much so. Very much so. Now, if it's bringing another what we call um a woman's, you know, private area into a scenario or whatever, some of us, I would say about 50% of us uh of us will be like, nah, I can't do it, or whatever. But then the other percent be like, okay, I just give it a try. I I see what it's about, you know, in type scenario.

SPEAKER_01

What which which side of that percentage do you fall on?

SPEAKER_02

Well, at the end of the day, I dated women. That's not what I'm asking you. I'm talking about now. Now, yeah, I dated women. So I think when the man no, no, no, I wouldn't care. I would be like, let's do it.

SPEAKER_01

So if you say significant other, no, go for it. Oh, if your significant other said Yeah, I'd be like, let's do it.

SPEAKER_02

Wait, hold on. Okay. That's a lesson.

SPEAKER_01

That's a lesson. If your significant other said that let's bring a female into the equation, you'll be okay with it.

SPEAKER_02

Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's try it. Let's try and see. Let's try and see. But I'm I'm maybe probably like 5% though of a person that'd be like, okay, well, let's try it. Let's see how it works out for me.

SPEAKER_03

So you're gonna be part of that 5% that wanna try with a woman.

SPEAKER_01

So, okay, okay, I wanna say this. That's the heterosexual here.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah. Go ahead. Stick to your life. That's the heterosexual.

SPEAKER_01

It's a seedful. As the heterosexual here, I will be okay with it. I'll be like, okay, baby, you want to try something different? I want to be here for you. You know? I'm like, like, okay, babe. I'm gonna I wanna I want you to be happy, you know what I'm saying? Like, I wanna be a part, I want to be a part of your fantasy, you know what I mean? You have a question? Yeah, I'm gonna do it. So you will try with a woman too? No question, no question. Yeah, I tried to do that. I have a trial with a woman too? What you what you mean? I have a question. What's your question? No question. No, we're not accepting questions at this time. No, no questions at this time. You know what I feel. What's your question? What's your question?

SPEAKER_02

My question is in reference, are you speaking from a man that has slept with a woman before?

SPEAKER_01

You don't know what heterosexual means.

SPEAKER_02

I'm asking you.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, I I I am a heterosexual male.

SPEAKER_02

Okay. Okay, I understand what you identify, but have you slept have you slept with a woman before? Okay. I'm sorry. So okay. I'm trying to try to make it more professional.

SPEAKER_01

Listen, listen, listen. Be quiet, be quiet. Listen. If there's any ladies out there that your voice just listen, listen, listen. Listen. Wait on.

SPEAKER_03

Wait on, y'all. Did your voice just get this?

SPEAKER_01

Listen, listen. Listen to what I'm saying, though. You know what I'm saying? Listen. See, I don't I'm not I'm not I'm not here. I'm not here to entertain the foolishness, right? If there are any ladies out there that want to prove them wrong, that wanna be able to like say, you know what? Bobby Jorrell, you should get it. Let me know. Hit me up. Hit me up in my DMs, Bobby Jarrell, at Bobby Jarrell, Instagram, Facebook, all of that. Because I I don't know what they're talking about. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03

Anyway, y'all, this motherfucker raising his hand. This motherfucker voice did a completed 360. I don't even know no more. I'm done. This session is over. Get off of me. Because uh I'm gay. And then if any one of y'all want to experience a woman, you know, and then I'm pulling or we done.

SPEAKER_01

You pulling, pulling you done, you done, we done, we gotta do it. That was a lie. That was a lie. That was a lie. Put it down. We gotta we're gonna wrap up the episode. We still need to end the episode. That was a lie.

SPEAKER_03

I'm just gonna read this question. I just want y'all.

SPEAKER_01

I just want y'all to- They're not gonna see this. That was a lie.

SPEAKER_03

I want y'all to I'm gonna read this question. I just want y'all to think about it on your own, on your own.

SPEAKER_01

So hold it, hold it until we wrap up, and then we'll end it and they can leave questions in the comments. Okay, go ahead. Alright. Alright, Dennis, you ready? Fix your face. Fix your face. That's a lie. Get your drunk asses together. That's a lie.

SPEAKER_02

Come on, I'm not drunk, but that's a lie.

SPEAKER_01

Get your drunk ass together so we can end it professionally. We not drunk. I'm good. Come on. Come on, right.

SPEAKER_03

Look okay. Look good.

SPEAKER_01

Look at the camera.

SPEAKER_03

Not that shit.

SPEAKER_01

Alright.

SPEAKER_03

He's okay.

SPEAKER_01

Alright, y'all ready?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Alright. Alright, guys. Thank you all for tuning in to another episode of A Little Too Honest. It was a lot, so I hope y'all enjoyed it. I hope y'all were able to like engage and like, you know, get something from the conversation. So I'll give our final thoughts when it comes to relationship. Mr. Dennis, what are your final thoughts?

SPEAKER_02

My final thoughts is a relationship is wonderful, but yet it's still, you know, you have to discuss everything with your partner and understand your concept of where you guys think you are in your relationship. Number one. Number two, live your life. Enjoy it. You only have one life to live. Yo low nigga.

SPEAKER_03

Amen. My thing is, my final thoughts on everything is communication. Please keep communication open. Y'all talk about everything. Don't leave nothing out. Just communicate, communicate, communicate. That's the biggest, the biggest part of a relationship is communication.

SPEAKER_01

100%. Um my final thoughts are when it comes to a relationship, don't be so boxed into what your idea of a relationship is. Allow it to develop and be what it could become. Because you, if you go into it and you think, okay, I want it to be X, Y, and Z, and it don't turn out, and you're not willing to like adjust and make those changes and kind of compromise, you may be missing out on something great. Now, I mean I'm not saying accept things that you wouldn't accept, but be willing to try something that you haven't tried before. Because if you've been in several relationships and it haven't worked out, then maybe something might need to be changed. So I think like um, like we said, that communication is important. Be honest with who you are, with who you are as a person and what it is that you want to want for that relationship. All right, so as we end this episode of A Little Too Honest Relationship Debates, we're gonna end with uh a final question. We're not gonna answer answer. We just want you guys to respond in the comments and let us know what your uh your thoughts are on this question.

SPEAKER_03

The final question is a woman asks a man or a woman to use the money he planned to spend on an expensive date to help her with a bill and suggest they take a walk in the park instead. He refuses. Who is wrong? Please explain and elaborate on your answer.

SPEAKER_01

Alright. So, until next time, I am Bobby Jarrell. I have Mr. Dennis, Miss Conchetta, and this is a little too honest. And I'll see you guys next time. Thank y'all for tuning in. Deuces He's gay, y'all. He is a homosexual.

SPEAKER_02

You bad.