Jojo & Boogs: Unexpected Hope

Something New: Part 1

• Josette Langevine & Rachel Manaloor • Season 3 • Episode 9

Share episode

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 23:44

Jojo never planned to meet her husband online—but God had other plans. In this episode, Jojo and Paul talk honestly about cultural differences, unexpected twists, and how choosing to put God first shaped their relationship. A story marked by grace, growth, and God’s unfailing kindness. 

Email us:
jb.unexpectedhope@gmail.com.

Follow us:
Instagram: @jojoboogsunexpectedhope3
Facebook: Jojo & Boogs: Unexpected Hope

Email us:
 jb.unexpectedhope@gmail.com. 

Follow us:
Instagram: @jojoboogsunexpectedhope3
Facebook: Jojo & Boogs: Unexpected Hope

SPEAKER_03

I'm Jojo. I'm Bugs. And welcome to our podcast. We bring our sidewalk conversations to your home to discuss love, life, and how they're all wrapped up with faith. Unexpected hope talks about life when expectations don't line up with reality. They are true stories when only faith and resilience get you through. Let's go with the flow.

SPEAKER_04

Woohoo! We're concluding season three of Unexpected Hope. And I'm so excited to welcome my husband and guest speaker, Paul. I would say our story is one of beautiful surprises and unexpected challenges, but it ended up in God's unfailing kindness. So let's do it. All right, so we're ending 2025 and also our season three theme of relationships and style. So I know I've been keeping you hanging for the past like two years. I guess a lot has happened in the past two years. Um, one of them has been a huge highlight in my life. I recently got married. We've now been married for about eight months. Actually, my co-host for this podcast is my husband Paul. And I have a pleasure to introduce him and then yeah, how we met and how we're here. I'm so happy that he's here and he's allowing me to share a story in this way. He's an awesome husband. I love him. So welcome to the podcast, Mr. Paul.

SPEAKER_00

Hi, everybody. Thank you for that intro, love.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Well, I know that a lot of people have been super interested in how we met. So we're just gonna start from the beginning. And I'm gonna ask all the questions that I asked all my other guests over the past couple years. I guess the first thing is did you want to be married?

SPEAKER_00

Are you asking me?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you want to be married, love?

SPEAKER_00

Of course, yeah. I I wanted to be married. I mean, I think most people I would say most people do have that intention of wanting to, you know, have a partner and grow old with a partner, maybe you know, have a family with a partner. So yeah, I was definitely one of those people who wanted to do that, was daydreaming about that maybe at times. And when I would date people, even in my 20s, I would think about oh, I wonder what it'd be like to be married to this person. And sometimes you just think those things when you're playing house or whatever, daydreaming together with with your partner and stuff. So yeah, even at an early age and in my 20s, I wanted to be married. And yeah, unbeknownst to me took a lot a little bit longer than that.

SPEAKER_04

Than you kind of expected. Yeah. Well, welcome to unexpected hope.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, it is, yes.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I mean, honestly, for me too. I remember when I was like six years old, I would draw pictures of me, my husband, and my 20 kids. And I would show my aunt, like, okay, this is gonna be my family when I get older. And she's like, How in the world are you going to provide for 20 kids? I was like, I'm gonna work at McDonald's. And she couldn't really say much of anything. So um, but yeah, I've always wanted to be married. I think there is a progression, I guess, in my family where, and this is me, maybe this is not like what they were thinking, but like internally, this is what I thought my family wanted. They wanted me to um go to college, you know, get a good job, go to grad school, and then get married, all in that order. And so I remember grad school. We had a grad school party for me. It's a beautiful party. My mom planned this huge party. And I remember one person did a toast, it was the first toast, and he was like, Congratulations, Josie. I'm so proud of you. And then he's like, Well, on to you now finding a husband. And I'm like, Oh, okay, on to me finding a husband. I was like, what, 23 years old at the time? And so I realized already like late. Well, well, no, I think he was like, You just finished grad school, like you need to get this going now. And I think that's where I just felt, oh, okay. All the things that I felt internally about me wanting to get married, I think it's now being voiced that this is what you're supposed to do.

SPEAKER_00

Exactly.

SPEAKER_04

You're supposed what you're supposed to do, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And so I feel like that's I feel like that's a huge thing in society or culture, yeah, is you go to school, graduate, and then you get married. Yeah, and then you have kids, and yeah, so forth and so on. I mean, it's like your life all planned out in front of you. And I feel like all parents have that kind of vision for their children, yeah. And so there's those expectations at a very early age.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, yeah, for sure. And honestly, in my 20s, I feel like I didn't know what in the world I was doing. I mean, I was in relationships with a couple of people, but well, for me, I was trying to be the person that I thought they wanted me to be, and I was still trying to find myself. I couldn't find myself in those relationships just because I was trying to figure out what they wanted. And I think that's why it took a long time for me to really find someone for me at that time. I was very insecure in a lot of ways because I guess I just didn't think that I was good enough. And I was in that right for a while. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Well, you really blossomed. Well, thank you, love.

SPEAKER_04

So, I mean, what were you looking for in a wife? I can tell you what I was looking for in a husband.

SPEAKER_00

Why don't you go first?

SPEAKER_04

Me?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Um, well, I mean, I was looking for someone who was good looking, was fun, I could do things with. I mean, I definitely had a type. And then looking back on it, I'm like, oh wow, all the people that I dated fit that type. I didn't think I I had a type until I look back and I'm kind of like, oh wow, girlfriend, you had a type. But I think a lot of them put on their resume and they had really great resumes. They loved Jesus, but I don't know if I really What do you mean by resume?

SPEAKER_00

Expand on that. I mean, like these are their qualities that they shared, or I mean they had really good resumes.

SPEAKER_04

They went to really good schools, they had really great jobs, they could provide for a family, all those things. I think on the surface, everything looked great. And I remember I was dating someone, and everyone's like, oh guys, you look you look so good together, but it didn't feel good in that relationship because I never felt like I was ever good enough for him, even though we were both equal. It just was, and again, it was me trying to figure out like who I was because I was trying to be the person that I thought he was looking for, and that hurt me in the end for sure. For sure.

SPEAKER_00

I feel so bad.

SPEAKER_04

This is that well, I'm it's just like growing lessons.

SPEAKER_00

Well, like I said, you've blossomed and you're you're meeting everything I could have ever imagined.

SPEAKER_04

So thanks, love.

SPEAKER_00

So what was I looking for in a spouse? I feel like that has for me has really evolved over the years, you know. Things that used to be in my top things that I was looking for went to the bottom, and things that were on the bottom went to the top, you know. So I feel like that really that's a tough question to answer. I mean, because it really changed a lot over the years as I continue to change, yeah, because I change as as I change and as I evolve those priorities, they change too. Yeah, so but I will say before I met you, the biggest thing was does this person follow the Lord? And so that was like a number one I I wanted to have some physical attraction to my partner, so that was a that was a pretty important one.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, thank you for being honest.

SPEAKER_00

And then just some character traits, like is she mindful or thoughtful of her partner or of the other person? Does she care? That was something that I felt like I needed to see in another person too as well.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. I think physically I was used to someone who was tall, was white for the most part, because I grew up in a pretty much predominantly Jewish area, and so I used to date a lot of white dudes. Um, and then if you don't know this, actually, Paul is Korean and I'm black, and so physically, like what were you looking for?

SPEAKER_00

Originally being with somebody that was Korean was important to me, but then that changed. That changed as I grew up, and in fact, before I met you, I can honestly say race didn't matter. The person uh was Korean. I don't want to get too involved in this, but I probably even started to look towards women that had more of a different background than I did culturally. Um because I was starting to appreciate those kinds of differences in a partner, and uh so I I wasn't really focused in on women who kind of shared similarities in my cultural background. And it wasn't like I wasn't dating anybody that was Asian anymore, but um, but I I was definitely very open to dating other women of different cultures.

SPEAKER_04

Wow, and that's pretty unusual, especially in the Korean culture.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know because I was always groomed to marry somebody that was Korean. It was you're not marrying anybody else. And I was like, oh whoa, mom, dad, do I gotta stay in this? No, yeah, so they pretty much tried to plan out my life for me sometimes, and that I think that that's what led me to be a little bit more on the rebellious side.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, Paul's very rebellious, he likes he likes to do things differently. I appreciate that about him.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, well, I think it was partially because of my family and just being pegged to do the same things that they did, or meeting the expectations that they had for their kids. Yeah, and their expectations were get married at 20, graduate, be a doctor, marry another Korean person, you know, and then live the best life. Yeah, have a have your picket fence house and have you know 2.5 kids. I don't know. Yes, and that that's not me. Yeah, that's not me at all. And so I didn't want to go down that road. So then anyway, long story short, I started trying to intentionally date people who were just different than I was.

SPEAKER_04

Well, awesome. So let's transition then into how did we meet?

SPEAKER_00

How did we meet? Do you want me to start, Love? Yeah, why don't you go ahead?

SPEAKER_04

Okay, so this January of 2020, it was like the last week of January. I was just in New York visiting my family because I'm from New York, and the last day, my mom started anointing my head with oil. And I was like, what? She's never done this before. And she's like, You need to find a husband now. And I'm like, What? But you know, I received it. I was kind of like, all right, let me just go with this, right? Um, and then two weeks later, I was on Coffee Meets Bagel. I mean, I'm not a huge um internet, what do you call it? Online dating online dating person at all. Uh, but I do this just to kind of entertain my friends, you know, just because they want me to get married and they're like, you need to use online dating. So I had a profile, but I never really used it. But I was on Coffee Meets Bagel, and I get a ping from this guy named Paul, and he looks like a good friend of mine who died a couple years before, and his eyes were just piercing. I'm kind of like, all right, let me just take a look and respond to his email.

SPEAKER_00

So yeah, so I'm no stranger, I'm the opposite. I was no stranger to online dating at the time.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um had a lot of experience with online dating. Uh, you know, I don't know if I want to share that, but anyway, there you go. So I did see online dating as a way to meet people that you would never meet before. Because on a rare occasion, maybe there'd be somebody that you would see their profile, and you'd like, oh, I know this person or something like that. But for the most part, because it covers such a wide area, and we're just talking about the Bay Area. So you would meet somebody in San Jose, and I was living in San Francisco at the time, so you would probably not have any opportunity to meet this person because just geographically, for people out there, if you're like 40 miles away from somebody, that does weigh into a little bit of the dating. You don't want to be driving 50, 45 miles every day to go see somebody, but oddly enough, oddly enough, yeah. I saw Josie's profile and and I was just captivated. I was captivated by uh her beauty, and she had these really fun pictures.

SPEAKER_04

Um gosh, I never remember what these pictures were.

SPEAKER_00

Well, I remember she had these really fun pictures, they're just totally colorful, and it just brought out her skin and her smile and everything, and I was just I was taken aback. I was like, I've got to reach out to this person. Um, and so uh so I did, and um, and then we started chatting. We started chatting, yeah. We started chatting through the application. Um, and then one thing led to another, and we finally we agreed on a date.

SPEAKER_04

On a date, it was March 7th, and to be honest with you, he was super sweet when he was texting me and messaging me, but then I'm like, maybe this is not the person for me, you know. I was still kind of like my type, and he just seemed so Jesus loving, which is horrible to say. I love Jesus, but I just felt like he you weren't fun. I was like, are we gonna have fun together? So I actually was hoping to introduce him to a friend of mine. So our first date, I was trying to interview him for a good friend of mine. So I he unbeknownst to him, it was me interviewing him just to kind of like see if this could work with him and my friend.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, wow. Okay, you're thinking about me for somebody else, and then also oddly enough, that I think Josie's from uh Mountain View at the time, yeah, and I was in San Francisco, so I don't know, that's the good drive, yeah, but I didn't mind. I didn't mind. I I know I just said like you would want somebody a little bit geographically close, but if you were so into this person, which I was, then you're gonna drive however long it's gonna take to meet meet this person. So anyway, so that I just wanted to say that too sweet because we were talking about the distance thing, but well, I mean, first impression, I sit down, I'm waiting for him.

SPEAKER_04

First thing he yells my name, like Gisette, like do you need anything to drink? And I'm like, who is this guy? And um, you know, he sits down and he just started to talk about his faith in the Lord. And I just I was blown away. Like, I'm maybe just emailing, you know, just his faith was something, but like him, just you could see his heart. And I'm like, you know what? My friend could actually find her own man. Let me just focus in on him. This is literally like two minutes into it. Um, and I realized like a lot of the guys that I was dating, again, their resumes had, you know, Jesus loving, but they didn't really like talk about that like during our relationship. But for him, you could tell his heart was on the sleeve, and he just really loved the Lord. And I was like, hey, let me just open up and just be interested in who God is bringing to me.

SPEAKER_00

So yeah, I saw her and she looked just like her picture. And and some of y'all may know what I'm talking about because you know who who's frequented online dating and stuff like that, because sometimes people don't look like the the photo that they that they post and stuff. So, anyways, so I was I was very, very, you know, happy about that. Um, that that it was the same person that I was chatting with the whole time. And anyway, and then I saw her and I was just like, whoa, okay, awesome. And she's here. And she actually showed up, you know, and we started talking, and her faith came out very loud and clear to me, and she was just so chill, and I think we had a great conversation. Uh, I don't remember exactly what we were talking about. I know faith was a big part of what we were talking about that first date. And I just thought, like, wow, we could be talking for a long time.

SPEAKER_04

I know, seriously, I had that feeling. Same. Um, but that night was a strange night because two of my friends actually were in labor at the same time that same night, and I had to run to go visit my friend who literally just gave birth to her son, and so we had to like cut it off short.

SPEAKER_00

But yeah, um I mean looking back, it was probably a good thing because I left something for for hopefully the next time that we would get together, and I definitely wanted to have a next time, you know.

SPEAKER_04

I didn't know that, so I mean, I was super excited to see you again, and then you know, the next day I talked to my friend. I'm like, hey, I just had a date with this guy. I really hope that he contacts me again, and then it took you like four days, four days to respond back to me or like ask me out on another date again. I was left hanging for four days.

SPEAKER_00

I was being not too over-eager, I wanted to give you a little time. So I was trying to try to be mindful of giving you some space or something like that.

SPEAKER_04

But the second date was really awesome too. The first date was a coffee date, so there was really no prayer, but the next date we had dinner, and he literally sat down and prayed over our meal. And I was like, I've never had a guy just do that on the first round who intentionally will just say, Hey, can we just pray over that meal? And I'm like, Okay, now I'm done. This is awesome.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I think we went to pizza, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so we went to some curry pizza place, and yeah, pizza was great. And I think I dressed up.

SPEAKER_04

Yes, you did. I I'm remembering I dressed up and you dressed down because the first day I kind of dressed up, and you were just like in your shorts or whatever, and I was like All right, let me just mimic what he's gonna do, but he just sweat, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Anyway, that's that's kind of like a premonition, too. Oh, really? That's just funny, very ironic that we're we're just different that way, and um and then you know it's we're trying to impress each other, but we're just we're different people, and so anyway, it was all good at the time because we're getting to know us and getting to know each other, and little do we know those differences would come out later on in our relationship, is what I was trying to say. But it was a good second date, and uh and then we just continued seeing each other from there.

SPEAKER_04

Well, let's remind you of the date because a second date was on March 14th, and then a couple days after that, everything shut down. So this was 2020, this was COVID, um, and everything went silent because everyone started to shelter in place, and so we couldn't see each other. We were in both of our homes, and we just ended up texting each other, calling each other, just connecting in that way. And I remember that this was the height of COVID. Everyone was just so nervous, like we had no clue what this disease was. And I remember at one point in my mind, I didn't text it to Paul, but I said, I really hope we can pray together that night. And then a couple hours later, you texted me and you're kind of like, can we pray together? And I'm like, whoa, where did that come from? And so that night we did pray with one another, and I remember just shaking, just physically shaking, just uncontrollably, just like shaking. And I'm like, where is this coming? I've never shaked when we're in prayer, but that was something that I'll always marvel at. But yeah, we just continued to have really good conversation with each other. Um, again, it was really good because it wasn't like we were trying to put our best foot forward. We were just really having just conversations about life and how we're doing and what's going on. And it was just really good to talk to him. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. We were talking a lot. And I remember, especially, I mean, when the whole world is shut down, it was very, very like comforting to talk to somebody regularly, for sure, and you know, um and talk just yeah, going through that experience with somebody was was pretty valuable.

SPEAKER_04

So I think four months after you said you love me for the first time, um, and I mean things were great to be honest with you, until I kind of told you like I was black and you're like, Yeah, I'm Korean. We had to really acknowledge the fact that we were different races. Um and I asked you one night, I was like, are your parents gonna be okay with our relationship? And I remember the night and there was a pause, and you said, I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

You said I'm not sure. Would these cultural differences affect our relationship? Hear more and how God ultimately restored and redeemed our love story on part two of something new. God bless. If you have any prayer requests, would like to share your story, or have any story ideas, email us at jb.unexpectedhope at gmail.com