Practical Neuroscience For Women Ready To Break Patterns #122

We explore how practical neuroscience and somatic work can clear stuck patterns in love and life without rehashing trauma. Riana Malia shares a three‑phase method to replace old wiring, define non‑negotiables, and claim a new identity with speed and compassion.

• conscious versus unconscious mind and the body as storage 
• what talk loops reinforce 
• Clear to Create methodology and three phases 
• values, non‑negotiables, and clean decisions 
• reverse‑engineered goals and RAS installation 
• quantum time release
• high achievers’ blind spots in intimacy 
• alchemical forgiveness and agency 
• client transformations and measurable shifts 
• how to work one‑on‑one with Riana

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Transcript

Meet Rihanna Malia And Her Work

Intro 0:00

Welcome to the Straight from the Source's Mouth Podcast. Frank talk about sex and dating.

Tamara 0:06

Hello, Tamara here. Welcome to the show. Today's guest is Rihanna Malia, a neurosomatic practitioner, and we'll be talking about bringing practical neuroscience, subconscious rewiring, and compassionate guidance for women. Thanks for joining me, Rihanna.

Riana 0:22

My pleasure. Thank you for having me.

Tamara 0:24

Yes, I think this will be a great topic for the listeners. I know of it, but I haven't heard it quite this together, like neurosomatic practitioner. For those that don't know what that is, can you share a little?

Why Traditional Talk Loops Keep You Stuck

Riana 0:37

Yeah, it's really, you know, blending the so the body and the unconscious mind really become one and the same. So if you think about your body, for instance, from the neck up is your is your conscious mind, right? So it's our critical faculties, it's everything we know we know, it's what makes us successful, it's our goal setter, we use it all day long. Which means everything from the neck down, the rest of our body is the unconscious mind. So if the conscious mind is our goal setter, the unconscious is the goal getter. It's the operating system, it's the general. It's also the literal library of everything we've ever experienced in however many decades we've been on this planet, which is then stored at a cellular level in the body. So what's great about this work is, um, and don't get me wrong, I love therapy. Therapy for sure has its place. Most of my clients come to me, they've already done work, but they're still stuck. They're still in this place where they still find themselves in the same situation over and over again. And so we really get to clear all of the stuff that's keeping you from the life and love that you want without going back into the trauma and pain that caused the problem in the first place. So we're not going back to the thing that happened when you were seven that made you feel like you had to be, that you were too much or too little and all of those things. Because we have the opportunity to clear it without going to any conscious memory, which is amazing. And so this work happens really fast. So it's really for that woman who's done the work and she's, you know, really ready to create the life and love that she is meant for in this stage of life.

Tamara 2:14

Okay. Yeah, I can see that. And I I feel like a little bit might be pertaining to me because I feel like I've done a lot of work, but then still there's like some little things that somehow still show up.

Riana 2:25

Yes, and there's there's a reason for that, and it's actually pretty easy to fix. Doesn't take long.

Tamara 2:32

Okay. And how do you do you have you're a coach or you you're obviously a practitioner, so how does it work? Like how can people reach you and what do you do with them, or what kind of programs do you offer?

Clear To Create: Method And Phases

Values, Non‑Negotiables, And Clean Decisions

Riana 2:44

Yeah, of course. So my methodology is called the Clear to Create method, and simply because my tagline has always been your very best life. So if we've known each other for five minutes or 25 years, I want you to live your version of your very best life. And that's different for all of us. But the truth is, you can't go from being stuck in old stories and past pain and old trauma and you know, just all the things that we've experienced to just living your very best life. So first we have to clear, right? We have to clear the story to create the life. So many people say to me, I want a different story. I keep ending up in the same circumstance or the same relationship or the same situations, whether it's love or health or wealth or whatever. And if you want a new story, you have to stop telling the old one because the longer you're in it, you know, there's a very big distinction between standing on your story and standing in it. And it's that kind of therapeutic loop that people get caught in where they've been, you know, divorced for a year or years, and you know, people still bring it up and then they just go right back into it. And it it your body at a cellular level relives it, you know, over and over again. We have to clear the resentment to create the results, right? A lot of high-achieving women almost get what they want, but they never quite get there. We have to clear the chaos to get the confidence, right? So many women have it had this experience of like, I don't know, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't even trust myself. I don't even know really who I am in this moment, but also I I I thought I knew, I thought I had it, and look how that turned out. So old cycles, and we have to clear the patterns to create the partnerships, right? We want loving, aligned, beneficial partnerships professionally, personally, but when we bring in the all the same old patterns and the same old neurology, what are you gonna get? You're gonna get more of the same. We're never gonna get what you want. So we clear, then we create, and then we claim. And inside of that methodology is then my framework, which is the quantum pattern protocol, which is those three phases, there's nine steps. And it's, you know, my so I have a mastery or I have an intensive and a mastery program and then a VIP experience. And the intensive is eight weeks, it's very fast. And um, so this is not years down the road, right? This isn't okay, we're gonna talk about all this stuff, and then I'm gonna talk about it again. I'm so sick of talking about it. No, this is let's get in, let's figure out where you are, let's get crystal clear on what you want, because I will also say that that's a huge problem, especially for those of us kind of in midlife. Maybe we're transitioning either from getting divorced or becoming an empty nester, and you've been all these things, mom, wife, business owner, whatever. And now it's like, who am I? Who am I, and what do I want? And it's kind of like going into a restaurant and ordering a protein aside a salad and a beverage, and they bring you a pork chop, a diet coke, some Brussels sprouts, and a Caesar salad. It's exactly what you ordered. But what you wanted was a glass of wine, a nice fillet, some roasted asparagus, and an arugula salad with beets and goat cheese, right? So the difference is you got exactly what you ordered. You got what you asked for, but it's not what you wanted. So that's part of this process is getting crystal clear and on, you know, your values and your non-negotiables and your desires for all areas of life, so that you get to then make clean decisions that are yes or no, rather than, you know, when we don't make values-driven decisions, we end up in the what I call the devil of the maybe, which is the drama, the noise, and the decision from the decision fatigue, which keeps us from impact and accomplishment and connection. Because then we're just like, I don't know, I'm just not going to do anything.

Tamara 6:43

Yeah. Yeah, I was gonna say, um, is that usually the hardest part for women is to figure out what it is they want, or is that like it's it's the thing when we start this work, and I'll say, you know, clear and clear on all the things that you don't want again, right?

Riana 7:00

Which is normally where our focus is. It's why the unconscious mind keeps delivering that in the universe because you don't realize you're focused on all the things you don't want instead of what you are, and the unconscious mind can't hear the qualifying don't. So it's why people end up in the same relationship over and over and over. What was the question? I'm so sorry.

Tamara 7:18

I was just saying, is it hard? Is that the hardest part to actually know what you're doing?

Riana 7:22

Yes. So that is typically what what brings tears on a lot of our initial conversations and then the beginning of that work is because it's so emotional to tap into that and say, I have no idea what that looks like. So if I asked you, you know, on the other side of this, what are you doing or not doing differently than you're doing or not doing right now? What lights you up? What makes you feel alive and gives you purpose and joy and peace? And that's a lot of times where the tears come. Because they're like, I don't, I don't, I don't know. I don't know what that looks like.

One‑On‑One Only: Intensive And Mastery

Tamara 7:58

Yeah. And it's because, like you said, the old patterns, or is it even like they haven't even dared to like imagine? Or it's just out of their imagination.

Riana 8:07

Yeah, I think for a lot of people, uh um, you know, they just have spent their lives taking care of everybody else and putting everybody else first. And what they there was never even really a consideration to think about or dream about, or you know, what they wanted. So super common.

Tamara 8:25

Yeah. Yeah. I I've been I was I've been divorced a long time, so I I and I don't have kids, so I can see where especially kids or people with who had kids and married and all that stuff. But yeah. Um, so how do people get to work with you? Or um you said you have three different class three different courses.

Replace Neurology And Install Goals

Quantum Time Release Explained

Riana 8:46

Yeah, um, so I don't do courses and I don't do group coaching. It's all one-on-one private work because this work is it's not um, you don't do modules and you don't, you know, this is you and I co-creating your life together. So we really do walk through all, you know, nine of those. Well, in the intensive, we really get we clear and we create, and then you're we're we set you up to claim. The difference there is in the intensive, it's again those eight weeks, you have massive transformation. And because we, you know, when if we're gonna blow out old strategy and neurology and behavior, we got to replace it. And that's what so much of this work in the world doesn't do, right? There, so it's like great, you have some awareness and some clarity and you learn some stuff, and you're not gonna do some stuff, but if we don't replace the neurology, the unconscious mind only can go back to what it knows. It's why people say, I've been in therapy for years, I've done the courses, the coaching, the vision boards, the retreats in Costa Rica, and I find myself right back here. It's because we didn't replace the neurology, you didn't fill in the blanks. So um, we are able to actually fully like clear the noise, figure out who you really are now, get clear on what you want, and then move into actually creating that life and looking at once we've cleared the stuff that's holding you back and keeping you stuck, gotten really clear about what you want. We've done a full dysfunction detox on all the stuff that's running the show behind the scenes, we've replaced that with new strategy, behavior, neurology ways of thinking. Then we actually look at what it is that you want that we've decided, and we um inside of that framework is the aligned achievement framework. And that's a my quantum goal setting where we reverse engineer your goals, and which then we have a we go, you know, from achievement all the way back till today, and what has to happen just before that, and what has to happen just before that, because like we talked about before, the unconscious mind can't fill in the blank. It's why most people set goals and they never get there. So it becomes this self-fulfilling prophecy because when you set a goal for six months from now and you're like, okay, what do I have to do? And you make this little list, there's like 10 things on the list, you miss 75% of the most important steps. So this way, it is, you know, when you're when you're spinning and life comes at you because it will, you don't have to think about what's next. You literally have that blueprint, and then we take it a step further and we install that on your timeline so that the it that ignites the reticular activating system in the brain, so then it becomes laser focused, looking for the people and the resources and the experiences and the opportunities that you want in your life versus getting more of the same of what you don't want. And a big piece of that is something called quantum time release, which is um something that I am and am certified in and that I'm an expert in that space. And it's it is that thing where I talked about um not having to go back into the story. So if you think about how we talked about everything's held at a cellular level, if you think about a piece of ribbon for every single negative emotion, and in this case, we're gonna go anger, sadness, fear, guilt, shame, and then all the limiting beliefs and limiting decisions that have formed as a result of everything we've been through, every all the traumas, all the disappointment, the betrayal, etc. And every time in your life that you've had a significant emotional experience with anger, for instance, it's like a marble goes on that ribbon. And then sadness, they all have their own ribbons. So in quantum time release, we get to release all those marbles. So that's the charge. Because if something happens that makes you upset today, makes you angry today, it's yes, that's a thing, but honestly, it's not so much about the thing today, it's the 40, 50 years of marbles. So when that charge is released from our body, we now get to actually make space for what's meant for us, for what we want, for what's next. Because it's like, you know, it's like anything else. When your closet is shoved full of crap we don't wear anymore, outdated, expired, whatever, there's no room. It's the same with our operating system and our programming, and you know, so much of it is just all the noise of society and all the things that we've been taught and told that we should be or shouldn't be. And it's hard to know who you are without being able to kind of tap into that and get rid of all that stuff that isn't yours, not yours. It's not yours, it wasn't yours in the first place, but certainly not yours to carry anymore.

High Achievers And Hidden Blocks To Love

Tamara 13:21

Yeah, I was gonna say the reverse engineering thing. That's how I had started my podcast. You know, I said I'd have three episodes published by the end of the quarter, and like you said, I took all the steps and actually wrote down every single step to make it happen. So I definitely get that in with things I really want, but the um there's still something in there like personalized. So may have to use your services after that. A lot of high achieving women unintentionally push love away. Would you say?

Riana 13:51

I mean, I obviously it's related to what you're talking about, but anything well, if you think about, you know, ambitious women, high achieving women, like they're in that, they know how to they've built the career, right? They probably have great friendships. Um, but looking for love and experiencing love is not the same as looking for your next executive position. And a lot of times, um high achieving women in those spaces, they they feel like it's too late for them, they've missed the boat. They also, again, they keep attracting the same person in a different body. And at some point they're just like, forget it, it's never gonna happen for me. But that process of being able to really from an unconscious and subconscious level, tap into the things that are keeping the connection blocked, keeping the love blocked. And a lot of that we we take care of right in the beginning because again, it's a I call it the fear to the fear to focus flip, is because if you think about in in relationship, for instance, I'm not sure what your experience was, but after my divorce, it was just like, oh my God, I don't ever want to be in a situation again where I'm not loved and cherished and appreciated. I don't want to be in a situation where I'm constantly on edge because I can't, I don't feel safe because I don't trust, because I think that there's shady stuff going on. I don't want to be in this financial position. I don't want to be alone. I don't want, I don't want, I don't want. And it's all you can continue to call in. And so most humans don't realize that. So we do something um very, very early on that in the course of 72 hours, we get to completely rewire your thoughts. And um it's amazing how quickly things start to shift in your physical world.

Tamara 15:56

Yeah, that's sounds amazing. And I definitely I know this kind of stuff works, so obviously, since you you do it for a living and you've seen it yourself.

Rihanna’s Story: Betrayal, Forgiveness, Agency

Client Wins: From Calm Energy To Dream Job

How To Work With Rihanna And The ELI

Riana 16:04

But and I've done it myself, right? So I had a tumultuous divorce, and then you know, and my marriage was not, it wasn't I wasn't blindsided, like it was a long time coming, but even when you know it's not right and it's the right thing to do, you still grieve for what you thought, you know, what you wanted for yourself in your life and your future. You know, we don't none of us get married thinking we're gonna get divorced. And so, but then you know, finding myself in a position where, and I didn't date for a long time because my my baby girl was little, she was six when we got divorced, and it turned from very amical to very yucky, and it just got crazy and it was like the worst. And then about three years after my divorce, my father, who had been very much like hit and miss in my life, I didn't grow up with him, and he had he had there was some big disappointment around that, you know, he would make promises he never helped my mom. I would see him once a year, he had another family. But when I went off to college, he was he said, you know, I'm gonna pay for your room and board for freshman year because I haven't really helped. Like, great. So I got to college two months in, they called and they're like, Yeah, you're maxed on loans, and you know, the bill wasn't paid, so you're gonna have to leave campus. So here I was, 18 years old. And I was like, okay, do I just leave and forget it? And or do I tap into that part of me that's really resourceful? So I left the dorm, I got three jobs, I rented a five-bedroom house, I filled the other four bedrooms, and I stayed. But it was just one more thing that was like that story around my worth and my value and my being important. And then when I got married, which was very young after college, 22, I think, 23, um, I had that same experience. So there's all this evidence that, you know, I am inherently broken or too much or not enough or whatever it is. After my divorce, my dad was a bit more involved. You know, we'd he would come visit, we would, you know, we had some fun. I didn't, I kind of had given up all expectations. And then he came to me one day and said, you know, you should really come and move to California and come take over this family business. And now, mind you, that winter in Minnesota had been like days on end of like 40 below zero, and I had horses. And so the w the metal on the pump broke, snapped off. So for the entire rest of the winter, I had to run a hose through the through the window and put it up to the laundry, and it was the whole thing. A lot of tears, let me tell you. I'm an island girl, not a winter girl. So the thought of like having a break and getting to breathe because you know, single mama, working hard and um exhausted. And so there were every part of me, it wasn't even like a red flag, it was like a billboard in Times Square screaming, Are you crazy? Don't do this. My best friends were like in tears, like, you know, we you can't trust him. Like, you're gonna be so far away. I said to him, though, I'm like, you know, my mom had had a surgery. They'd been divorced since I was two, and they were friendly, but she had had a surgery and they nicked a nerve and she couldn't do her job. And so I said, I can't leave her. And he's like, Great, bring your mom, bring the horses, I'll build a barn, bring the cats, bring Maddie, and come. It's gonna be amazing. So I did. I moved my mom, my daughter, two horses and three cats across the country, didn't really know anybody else in California. And I got there and very, very quickly um found myself surrounded by federal agents, guns drawn, put in handcuffs. And I was, I was in that moment, all you know, all of the emotions, but again, I had made a promise to Maddie because I moved around a lot as a child, and there just wasn't that sense of safety in that same way. And I I told her I was only gonna uproot her life once. And we'd been in California now for six months. She's in school and she's making friends. So I had a decision to make. I could either go take us back to Minnesota, which I totally could have in a heartbeat, or I could keep my promise and break that generational nonsense of the, you know, the lot the the not keeping promises and not being in integrity and not making a safe place. So several hundred thousand dollars. credit card debt later. Um I figured it out. I actually started selling real estate and coaching realtors. And then um but after that moment that was really my catalyst for diving into the deep work that I do now because I was so it was like this the huge betrayal and how could you do that? You know, put not only put me in danger but my baby and my mom in this crazy nonsense. So now I didn't I mean now I'm here I don't know anybody I don't have an income. So I went to therapy I was writing the letters and I didn't send them but I was like you know just in it and I was either so sad or so angry that I couldn't be present and I couldn't move forward. And there wasn't a lot of joy because I was just in it. And it was in that time where someone introduced me to some work in the quantum space and a matter of weeks there was parts of me that I didn't recognize in all the best way. And being able to fully forgive my father but he doesn't get a seat at the table. He doesn't have access to me. I haven't spoken to him in years but I've forgiven him because alchemical forgiveness is not about letting anyone off the hook, making it okay. It's just you don't get to have the control and the power over my thoughts and my feelings and my emotions and I'm taking that back because I'm fully responsible for my life. And I have a lot of clients that the word forgiveness is kind of a trigger word and they're like no I'm not going to forgive them. They destroyed my life they hurt me so desperately but again it's that old saying like you're drinking the poison and wanting them to die. And it's destroying you. And until you can stop being in that story you're never going to be able to move forward and call in what's meant for you what whatever that is right career, love, friendships, help, whatever it is. So it's really powerful work and it's such an honor to be able to I mean it's I I get giddy because I know it's coming and I and I know how it's going to happen. In fact I had a client in New York and um if you can imagine like a stereotype of an Italian New York woman like this is her. Love her. I love her. She's one of my favorite clients and she was going through divorce had been dragging on for like a couple of years had been in the process. She'd had a whole year long relationship with this guy that she thought was going to be her forever. She was totally hung up on that and she was angry and she was also like I'm never going to find anyone and she was mad at the ex-husband all the time and it was just all this turmoil. And about four weeks into us doing this work she had a Friday standing date with her girlfriends for happy hour and they said to her something along the lines of like we need to ask you a question. She's like yeah what's up and they're like are you doing drugs? She's like what and they're like well you're nicer and you're calmer and you usually come to happy hour bitching about you know Michael or complaining about John or like Bob and they're like you're talking about like things you're excited about and you know it's just we just want to make sure you're good. And so that was really fun for her because when you're in it and it's happening so fast you don't necessarily see it. Right? It's like when you know you see somebody a friend of yours has a child and you haven't seen them forever you're like oh my God they're so big and the parents are like oh yeah I don't know I didn't really notice because I see them every day. It's all the same thing. And then so we kind of we reworked she we created her menu right of her non-negotiables and her values and her desires so that when somebody else came into her life rather than doing what she always does was ignore all the red flags being worried that maybe this was her last chance and no one else was going to love her. And so just you know everything that was important to her it would just she would just put it aside oh it'll change he'll change but this way now she's like like literally in minutes I can run that person through that little asset that list and I can know if they even get an opportunity to be in my world and she does you know you can do this with friends family whatever. And then when we got closer to the end of our work she reverse engineered a dream job which didn't exist and she wanted to open work it she wanted to work in um mental health with youth but where she lives in New York and there wasn't a practice within like 40 miles or something and her daughter's still in high school. So we did this on a Monday we installed it on her timeline and on Thursday she called me screaming and she's like you're never gonna believe this she's like I just got a job offer for the job and they asked if I wanted to open a practice in Lifetown. And she's like that's insane. So it's that kind of stuff that once you get rid of the the clutter magic happens.

Tamara 25:03

Awesome. Very cool story yeah and then since you talked about that how can people reach you or work with you?

Final Reframe: Change Can Be Fast

Riana 25:12

Of course so you can find me on my website Rihanna Malia.com and all the socials are Rihanna Malia YouTube, um, Facebook Instagram LinkedIn and also so the process is first I would tell all your listeners to go take the LE so the LE is an it's a it's a diagnostic assessment. It's called the Extraordinary love index. And whether you're looking for you know understanding where you're getting caught up in old stuff and blocking the love that's meant for you you find yourself in same relationships or you just need to like have some insight of how you love yourself and everybody else. It's 40 questions you get a 28 page report looking at all nine areas and it's so insightful and I would love to gift that to all of your listeners. And then to work with me you simply fill out an application you know share a little bit about kind of where you are and what's going on and and you know what you want. And then we see if it's a fit and we jump on a call and then from there we decide if you want to do the intensive or the mastery the mastery includes and starts with the intensive so we get those fast results but then the remainder of the year then we execute in that third phase third phase of claiming it so that you really get to embody this new version of her and live and lead from this clear, confident version of you that actually gets to you know walk that and and plus it's it typically when people have that quantum time release experience and they start having creative juices flow again and ideas start popping there's then they want to like stay in the space so that then together whatever's going on in your world in all areas of life we can do that for the rest of the year. And then the VIP experience is for the woman that's like I want to do something super magical and transformational for me. And so it involves um us being together in person for two days in a very luxurious beautiful place where you're fully every detail is taken care of and you're fully pampered but we also do deep transformation work in those two days which gets a lot of the clearing and the creating part done and then I gift you the whole mastery experience right now I'm doing that as a gift. So then you have the whole rest of the year for me to help you integrate and support and keep you know going in that space. So those are really the three ways that people work with me.

Tamara 27:40

And yeah just simple pop over to the website RihannaMolia.com take the Ellie grab fill out an application grab a time on my calendar and we'll have a conversation all right thank you for that and do you have any final thoughts or is do you want to leave it at that where they can come work with you if they want to my final thought is this just because something's always been doesn't mean it has to stay that way.

Riana 28:07

Doesn't mean it has to continue that way. And that's the beauty of doing this work in the unconscious mind because it's not linear. And I don't care if you've been in 14 horrible relationships and have had low self-esteem your whole life and have let people just walk all over you and you put everybody else first in your people pleaser literally in days or weeks we can rewire all of that and it doesn't have to be that way between now and dead you get to choose.

Tamara 28:32

Awesome yeah great great information thank you very much

Riana 28:36

yeah you're welcome

Tamara 28:37

yeah and if you love this episode be sure to tell your friends about it and rate it as well thank you again Riana

Riana 28:43

my pleasure all right thanks everyone bye

Outro 28:47

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