Toy Chats And Smarter Sex Toy Buys #146

We talk with Cam Jennings from ToyChats about why sex toy shopping still forces people to gamble, and how a dedicated review platform can give consumers real feedback without relying on mainstream social media. We also get practical about safer buying, lube basics, anal play, and what changes as intimacy products go more mainstream. 
• why sex toy brands struggle to communicate with consumers on major platforms 
• why returns are limited and why warranties matter 
• how ToyChats works as a user-generated sex toy review site 
• how reviewers get paid for approved written and video reviews 
• what makes certain manufacturers stand out on quality and support 
• how men’s toys and tech features have evolved over time 
• what’s real and what’s hype in sex dolls, robots, and AI 
• why buying intimacy items at big-box stores feels different than an adult boutique 
• lube safety basics, reputable brands, and why water-based is a smart default 
• anal play guidance, prostate targeting, and beginner safety rules 
I really hope that everybody engages with us on Toy Chats, even if you're not looking to be a reviewer. 
If you love this episode, be sure to tell your friends about it and rate it as well. 

Transcript

Welcome And Meet Toy Chats

Tamara 0:00

Hello, it's Tamara here. Welcome to the show. Today's guest is Cam Jennings, the Director of Business Development for ToyChat.com. Thanks for joining me, Cam. Thank you for having me. Yes, this is a unique topic. Um I mean toys, sex toys are not that uncommon, obviously, but the review part of it. So do you want to talk about how you got into this line of work? Like the toy company specifically, or yeah, absolutely.

Cam 0:27

Um I mean we noticed that there wasn't really a good communicative route between manufacturer and consumer. A lot of that is by devo uh by design to support the distributors and the retail stores. Uh but when you think about, you know, being on Facebook, TikTok, Meta, all those, pretty much every brand out there gets to have a consumer voice. Coke, Pepsi, um, mattress firm, uh uh any any number of things that I could be talking about in normal life that my analytics would pick up and then throw a uh you know, throw an ad in front of me. We don't have any of that. So um sex toy companies don't really have uh, like I said, an appropriate line of communication for one, in toy reviews coming back from the customer, but two, also just to do some some product advertising to a non-pornographic audience saying, this is who we are, this is what we have to offer, and this is why you should buy

Why Sex Toy Brands Lack Feedback

Cam 1:25

our sex toys. So we are building the social media platform that does allow for that. We like to think of ourselves as spicier than Meta, uh, but not as spicy as Pornhub.

Tamara 1:38

Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah, I mean it's it's definitely true because you just buy them and try, or at the store they'll say, like, oh, people like this one or whatever, but yeah.

Cam 1:47

Well, and it's also an extra burden on the consumer because you can't return sex toys. Uh we're lucky enough to have some companies out there like Maya, like a kitten, sports sheets that all offer lifetime warranties now, but that's a very new thing. Um, my time as a retail clerk, I mean, we used to give batteries for free before the days of Chargers. We had giant bags of A, triple A, and whatever else could go into a dildo. And we'd made sure that toy worked before the customer left the store because we were not going to take it back or refund it. Um so that's another reason it is so important that consumers have every resource they can to make an educated purchase.

Tamara 2:30

Yeah, I hadn't thought of that way, but yeah, definitely makes sense. And so what is the uh how does the site work? You want to talk about that first?

Cam 2:39

Yeah, absolutely. Um so at Toy Chats, I can share my screen if you want. I don't know if that's appropriate for the podcast. It gives me a button. Um but uh it's mostly audio, so oh, fair enough. Um so we are a user-generated sex toy review site. Um we're the only user-generated sex toy review site. So uh anybody with uh basic writing or video skills can sign up, uh review their first sex toy that they have uh obtained themselves, post the review. If the review gets approved, we post it. We actually pay out that creator $40 per approved video, $20 per approved uh written um review, uh, and then we post it up and ask them to do another one. Uh that is how it works for the consumer. Otherwise, you sign up just like a regular social media platform.

Tamara 3:33

Okay. And do you have, and I'm sure you have thoughts. You said you've been in this the as you call the sec the taboo industry for a while. Do you have thoughts on some that are better than others, or is it more do you just go with the what the reviewers say?

Cam 3:47

I mean, I definitely have my favorite companies. Uh Like a Kitten is a newer player in the game. Um they have a very cute line with like little red, and I think the most famous is their Screaming Squirrel. Um I just think they're fantastic. Uh another company I really like is Maya Toys. Um they they just have very high quality stuff, and like Like a Kitten, they have that uh they have that lifetime warranty, which I just any any toy company that puts that lifetime warranty on their toys, they're going to have a better chance of getting endorsed by me. Um I really also like this company called Odoki. Uh they uh they just released, I think, an upgraded version of their product handy, and that thing looks fun. So uh Yeah, um I definitely I definitely have a lot of companies I like. Mo for the most part, it would be the companies within the trade show crowd are the ones that I know the best and generally have the the sought to spot for in my heart to want to see them succeed.

Tamara 4:54

Yeah, and I'm in my mind, of course, at being a woman, I always think of toys for women, but it it seems like there's more for men, or were there always plenty for men, and I just didn't know about it at being a woman.

Cam 5:07

I mean, as long as I have been in the industry, there have always been a lot of really good options for uh for men. Um now I do think that when people think sex toys, both men and women, they think about products for women, and there's definitely more innovation on the female side. Uh, but there's a lot of great dude products, especially uh since mainstream society has kind of eased up on prostate play. When you get into butt stuff, the options get a lot wider. Uh, but I do remember when I when I first got into the industry, I mean fleshlight reigned supreme, as they still kind of do in the stroker space. Uh, but there were other strokers of various uh various functionality, but nothing like what we're seeing today with like automatic suction and there's like warming, and we can connect it to apps, and we can connect it to like VR and things of that nature. That that didn't exist when I first got into the industry.

Tamara 6:09

Yeah. And then saying that, what about the AI stuff, like the actual robots and or just AI? Do you does that cover that stuff too, or not quite yet?

Cam 6:18

Um so there's a lot of uh there's a few toys that are again out controlled that can connect to like certain videos and things of that nature. I haven't seen too much AI in the toy space, and if I if there's going to be AI in the toy space, I think it would originate from the video space and just kind of be collaborative with us or or different toys.

Tamara 6:46

Um I guess I was thinking more of the dolls, like life like life size and like look-alike dolls or that kind of stuff. Is that I mean, I guess that's not a toy,

Returns, Warranties, And Buying Risk

Tamara 6:55

or is it a very large toy?

Cam 6:57

It is a it's a very large toy, in my opinion. Now, there's there's two parts of the sex doll industry that are kind of merging. The the first part is, you know, where where I've kind of existed and probably you have too in the in the retail space where dolls have been available, but if you were going to get one, it was going to be five, six, seven, ten thousand dollars to obtain a doll. Uh there's a company that they got into the game, got really big, and then um they they closed their doors and it broke my heart. But they they kind of screwed up the game as far as sex doll manufacturing goes in a good way for the consumer, um, to where sex dolls in a store are under two grand now. Um, and we're seeing those same kind of basic sex dolls that have uh motors in them to uh to be able to uh perform fellatio, to uh do other things. So we're seeing it from that area. Now on the other side, you have all the CES nerds, and you know, they're working on building robots for actual everyday functions, cooking, cleaning, um uh just being an assistant, but always and always has been, always will be that that sexual component. So we know that that those guys that are building those robots are building some of them the fuck. Um and and seeing the technology from those two things come together uh is where I think we'll be in that in that AI realm. But I don't think we're nearly as close to that being a real consumer reality as we think we are. Um I think that they'll make real robots first and though we'll be in more of an iRobot situation before they actually start having sex with us.

Tamara 8:45

Yeah, yeah, I can see that. Selling sex toys in like Walmart and other stores like that nowadays, is that as common or is it common yet?

Cam 9:12

It is common, um, but from the uh, you know, I hang out in the the retail manufacturing and uh uh distribution part of the industry, so it's it's kind of controversial. Um, because when you think about uh when you think about Walmart CBS Target getting into the sex toy space, that is potentially taking uh food out of the mouth of your local sex store. Now, when I talk to my clients that are retail store owners, I always tell them, it was like, you know, I don't I wouldn't personally want to go buy a sex toy at Walmart. First off, they're behind glass so they don't get stolen. So I have to go ask a stranger from the pharmacy that

How Toy Chats Reviews Work

Cam 9:59

works around this area to pull me out a sex toy and hand it to me. And God forbid if I have a question for them, versus walking into an adult boutique. You can ask that person any question you want. So I do always recommend that people go shop at their local adult store. And if they're not comfortable shopping at their local adult store, find an online retailer that matches your vibe and order there, but at least always try to get your your sex toys, I don't want to say somewhat private, but direct from the source as you can within the within the retail industry, and that would mean uh brick and mortar stores as well as our online retailer friends. Now, are they seeing success with their sales? They haven't gotten rid of them yet. Um I know I know uh companies like Dame, uh Wet Lubricants, um, and others are seeing some success in that space. Uh but it just doesn't feel like the appropriate place to buy an intimacy item.

Tamara 11:05

Yeah. And you you mentioned lubricant just now. Do you want to I know there's some are good for different kinds of lube and like silicone versus the other. Do you want to talk about that at all? Or is that not an area of your own?

Cam 11:19

I can talk about so I can talk about I can talk about lube. I mean, that is I I'm definitely Mr. Small Business. So as long as the product is safe, I always tell people to like support the the creative guys as much as possible. Now with lube, that's different. Lube is something that really that it goes inside your body. It's not like it's not a solid unit like silicone, so it is a lot more difficult to master and more difficult to make sure that you're getting the right product. So I do recommend that really when we're starting in the lube conversation, Swiss Navy, Joe, those are those are the two brands that I use. I also really like gun oil as a as a side shout out. But Swiss Navy or Joe, J-O are two lube brands that you're going to be able to find pretty much anywhere that have that 510 uh certification on them where you can be confident having them in and around your body. Now, I'm not uh I'm not saying that as disrespect to any other lube companies. Um there ID is a great lube company that falls into that category wet um uh Uber lube, even though they only have that one SKU, Uber lube's probably my favorite lube out there. But it is important to buy lube from a reputable name. Um that is that is not the place for a startup, in my opinion. Uh going from there, as every retail clerk will tell you, to start with water-based lube. You don't need you don't need the extra slipperiness in silicone-based lubricants unless you need it. Like, it's going to be very rare that water-based isn't enough unless you're engaging in anal play. Most of the time, including when you're engaging in anal play, water-based lube is going to be enough. Uh, silicone lube breaks down if uh it breaks down your toys. You never want to use silicone lube on a toy,

Favorite Brands And Men’s Toy Innovation

Cam 13:19

um, or with a condom, even though that's not as dangerous. But I always, man, that when I go to the store, I get that little that that Swiss Navy standard water-based, and it's like, I don't need any of the flavors, I don't need any of the extra. This will work with all of my toys and all of my parts.

Tamara 13:37

Okay. Yeah, that's good to know. And then you mentioned anal play earlier. Do you want to talk about some of the toys? Is there like a I know it's like you said, it's a newish thing, but I had an episode about like a guy friend of mine wanted me to for sure have an episode specifically about men should do it and you'll enjoy it, and it's not a gay thing, and it's you know, like it's just more, and I guess that's coming across to more people.

Cam 14:01

Yeah, uh I mean people should do more butt stuff. Uh it's it's it's a great activity, in in my opinion. Um for dudes, uh that's that's where the fun part is. Uh a lot of guys are circumcised, uh, including myself. So when you're circumcised, that is cutting off like a lot of your uh a lot of your initial sensitive areas. So most dudes aren't going to really be able to achieve a full orgasm traditionally. Uh if you want to come harder than you've ever come in your life, I don't care how straight you are, I don't care how tough you are, uh put something in your butt and put something in your butt that's long and skinny and that you know that you're going to be able to get out. But you actually you you want to make sure that you're you're reaching the prostate for that stimulation, um not just stretching out your butthole, which is fun too. Uh, but for but for dudes that I would identify most with, which would be straight sense males, um do it. Get some of that water-based lube I was talking about, and something really small. Like you're not, you're not, it it really is about the length with a dude and and essentially activating that prostate spot. Um if you want girth, that's great, but start with the tickling there. Cause I think most people get caught up with the pain and the you know, all the stuff that goes on with your butt. If I put something up there, am I going to poop my pants? No. Most of the time, no. Um uh but yeah, that's that's where I really that's where I start talking about anal play is I think I think everybody should try it. Um and I think everybody should try it like at least three times, unless, you know, you have a like a traumatic block to where that that issue should be a strong boundary. But uh yeah, I I think everybody should try it, male or female, but for males specifically, uh know what the goal is. And her her index finger probably isn't long enough. And I don't know why I have to say this out loud. My cousin did it one time and now I can never get it out of my head. Don't let a chick stick a tampon applicator up your ass. Just go get a real toy.

Tamara 16:15

Yeah.

Cam 16:16

Or fruit or or

Sex Dolls, Robots, And AI Reality

Cam 16:18

or or get a toy.

Tamara 16:21

Yeah, and then I know some with a handle or like a way to hold on to it. Because I I've heard that too, like it can slip in there.

Cam 16:30

Well, and that's like with the butt plug, always use something with a flared base. Like, yes, your asshole will eat things. Don't feed it. Um with with the kind of massager I'm talking about. I mean, we're just talking about like a very straight stick that's probably eight inches to a foot long, and it's just got the uh barely a little bulb on the tip of it that um lets you know it's going in and out. Uh but yeah, and that's that's another reason why I say for beginners, use something long and skinny. Uh the long part isn't only to reach the prostate area, but to be able to retrieve the toy as well.

Tamara 17:13

Okay. And how far in is the prostate generally? Is there like a range? I mean, uh the fact that you're saying long means it's probably farther.

Cam 17:22

I can touch mine. I know how to get there, but uh uh I mean your prostate is is essentially the back door that it's the it's like the backstage to your dick and balls is is the best way that I could say it. If you're if you're male genitalia, if your penis in your testicles are the stage, the prostate is the backstage area um that you get to either through your butthole or in your taint, you can rub your prostate too, which apply pressure down there when you're masturbating and life's great without having to stick anything in your butt. But they uh they definitely have their different at least on my body, they have their different uh uh benefits.

Tamara 18:10

Okay. Yeah, and because I can see like if it's too long and you're like some some men will do to some women, like a little more aggressive probing, you probably wouldn't want that long in case you're if you're doing it too fast, I would think, unless that's a thing. I don't know, you tell me.

Cam 18:26

No, no, you don't you I mean you aren't really trying to um you aren't really trying to add pressure so much as you are trying to touch like a specific spot. Um but uh pressure like like back wall pressure or trying to find what that would be an anal should never be the goal. Uh the only reason you want to use something long, like I said, is so you can reach it all the way and get to it. But never think that you have to fit the whole unit of whatever you are inserting in someone's butt into somebody's butt.

Tamara 18:58

Yeah, I could see where that'd be hurt and be dangerous.

Cam 19:02

Well, and because there's really no end to it. I mean, there's start going too far. You're getting into your your stomach and and things

Walmart Toys And Supporting Local Shops

Cam 19:09

of that. The Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Tamara 19:13

Hopefully that's and then our sex.

Cam 19:15

I am not a biologist. I didn't even graduate high school, so I feel like I'm talking a little out of my lane right now. But I know where the prostate is and I know how to touch it. Yes. And you should touch yours too.

Tamara 19:27

Yes, good good message for the guys. So are sex toys legal everywhere?

Cam 19:34

Um, kind of. Uh a lot of the reason that um sex toy evolution is kind of it didn't do much for a while, and now it seems like we have robots and all this other kind of stuff is uh I mean there have been laws in Texas, there have been laws in a few other states uh that have banned sex toys, that have greatly restricted sex toys. Um as the consumer knows it, yeah, sex toys are pretty much legal everywhere within the United States, um, because you're not going to go to jail for owning one. Uh, I think there it there there I think there might still be a standing law on the books in Texas that says you can only own so many dildos, but I don't believe that gets enforced. Because of that, for for us as US consumers, we can say uh sex toys are legal everywhere here. But when you start thinking about it on um on a B2B level, the answer is no. You can't have a sex shop anywhere that you want to open a sex shop. Um you have to have specific zoning most of the time. Cities and town municipalities intentionally make it very hard to open an adult store, um, and it goes from there. Uh for the most part, you know, you will hear dildos officially referred to as personal massagers or for novelty use only, or you know, taking that language away from, hey, this sex toy isn't really a sex toy. Um so there are there are levels to it. But in other countries, there are countries that it's completely illegal to own a sex toy. It's not, you know, masturbation is not something you talk about, do, or engage in whatsoever. Um so the the sexual freedoms that we feel here in the United States or um in Europe with sex toys are not a universal reality, and they're really not as deep a reality as we think they are as a consumer. Um it's a lot like weed being legal, but not legal at the same time. Um we just have it a little bit better over

Lube Safety And Water-Based Basics

Cam 21:48

here.

Tamara 21:49

Yeah, yeah, definitely. So, what are some of the stranger things you've seen working in the the taboo industry, as we call it?

Cam 21:59

Oh my gosh. Well, I remember when I first got into retail, I never thought I'd be in the position where I had to say so many times, Sir, I don't know if you know this, but your penis is out, and I'm gonna need you to put that away. Um That's happened more than a dozen times. Very happy not to. To be on the retail level right now anymore as a clerk. I mean, when I started in the industry, I didn't really know what I was getting into. I thought an adult store was kind of like a head shop that did dildos instead of bongs. You know, I was uh I was a stoner kid that had gotten myself into trouble. I was having a hard time getting a job, and the sex toy store would take me. Um and I had to work there because I was on probation. And if I didn't, I was going to jail. Uh but thank God, you know what I mean? Because it's opened up a huge door for a career for me. But they told me when I worked there, they're like, you have the job, but this is an arcade. Do you know what an arcade is? And they explained it to me and they said, So if you can go in that room back there and you can go all the way to the back wall, touch it, and come back, and you still want the job, it's yours. That was I that that that was one of it might have been the biggest arcade in Colorado if no, it wasn't, because our biggest arcade in Colorado was our Alameda store. But this was the Washington store in Denver, Colorado at Pleasures Entertainment Center, to all of your uh fans that are intimately familiar with arcades. It was that one. And if you like arcades, that's a good one. Um so yeah, went back there, uh saw a whole bunch of things that I shouldn't have seen. You know, talk about legalities with arcades and stuff, but uh came back and they're like, Do you still want the job? And I said yeah, so we went for it. But I mean, through through working in sex toys, I have been I I've I've seen some crazy things that are involved to the toys and not involved to the toys. Selling video was always wild because you would you would stock the DVDs and you would see just the array of things that people are into that actually sell on on a porn DVD. Um it's funny. I used to have this one that uh that it was it was it was kind of a bad joke. It was you know, not it was it was a different time, but I had never seen a trans DVD with a female to male uh person on the cover. So like I always used to throw that in our um in our like featured DVDs because it was a conversation starter, if nothing else. And uh I don't think the part of me that was showing that to people was doing it from a supportive nature so much is like, hey, isn't this cool that this exists? Like it was ignorant but not hateful. Well, fast forward 10 years, I'm at Xbiz or or something, run across somebody, and I meet that guy, the man with the pussy guy. And uh he's really controversial now, but

Anal Play Tips And Prostate Targeting

Cam 24:58

that's that's how I got to know Buck Angel. And that's uh I thought that was wild that from that point of this taboo DVD that I kind of made fun of in an immature way, that I uh um I I got to like actually meet that star and and and befriend that person, as I have with a few other stars that I first um learned existed from that arcade. Uh, fun fact about me is I am uh a little asexual, so I don't watch porn like that. So any any porn stars that I know or that I recognize are 100% via work, which just kind of makes for an interesting experience with the relationship with them and people that know that I'm friends with them. So I can see that. And I've seen, you know, other things that I guess maybe I'd rather not talk about in the adult industry, but they yeah, I've I've seen them. Uh I think the thing that I'm lucky enough to have never seen is anybody ever violently like sexually assault somebody in an arcade or really ever have to do that. I've never had to deal with more than a fist fight, and I am grateful about that.

Tamara 26:08

Yeah. I was gonna ask you because I've never been into an adult arcade. I've been into a the store, but never like behind the curtain back in the day or whatever. So what is it exactly? It's not actual video games, or is there certain kinds of like it's the biggest letdown?

Cam 26:24

There's no video games. Um so the legal idea behind an arcade is it's supposed to be a private viewing booth that you can preview a DVD before you buy. So you have a DVD in your hand and say, Hey, I want this porn, but I'm not sure if I want this porn. May I sample this porn, please, Mr. Porn Dealer? And from there, it's supposed to be like, yeah, you can go back and see. Now that legally evolved into we're just going to have a hundred channels that have DVDs that we also sell in store, and if you like one of these, you can buy it. Um that is not what the arcades actually get used for, but that is how they legally stay open. Technically, in an arcade, you were not supposed to be masturbating, you were not supposed to have your pants down, um uh and a list of other rules that often get broken. Um, I will say that uh arcades have become much less prevalent in recent years now that grind is a thing. Um, so the place where arcades were being abused in a lot of places and putting stores at risk of being shut down when there'd people having sex back there. Um apps like grinder have kind of taken the business away from the arcade uh and just put it in the more private meetups.

Tamara 27:44

Yeah.

Cam 27:45

But it used to be a very social spot where you would go to meet people that are also interested in what you're interested in.

Tamara 27:51

Okay. Yeah.

Cam 27:52

Um we used to also not allow women in our arcade. So I can see that. I think I think that's the the the best way that I can describe arcade culture right there for you.

Tamara 28:02

Yeah. Well, I think this do you have any final comments or do you want to say more about the Toys.com or Toys.

Cam 28:09

Yeah, yeah, no. I uh I really hope that everybody uh engages with us on Toy Chats, even if you're not looking to be a reviewer. Um this is a great place to be a consumer and just have conversation about sex toys. I would love to see more likes and comments throughout our uh our reviewers' uh posts. Um, and I would love to hear more testimony of people that have used our posts to make educated purchases on sex toys. Uh this is definitely a call to action to yourself and all of your listeners that we want educated reviewers, but we don't necessarily need TikTok influencers, people with huge platforms and existing followings. We want you to build your following through Toy Chats. We want you to become a star through our platform, and we will do everything that we can to support that. Again, right now, um, we pay all of our reviewers uh $20 for approved written reviews, $40 for approved four to ten minute videos. Uh, these are video unboxings. We don't need a live demonstration on these, nor do we want them. Uh, we're more interested in what you think of how

Legality, Adult Arcades, And Closing

Cam 29:18

strong the vibrating motor is, what's the shape like? Is it easily chargeable? Is it as waterproof as it says it is? Um, and that's the breakdown on the review that we are looking for uh from you. Otherwise, you guys can follow us on all social media at Toy Chats, uh, Instagram, Reddit are kind of our two favorite places right now for uh doing outside promotion, also on FetLife and all of the above. Uh, but this has been a really good interview, and I hope that you will have us back again in the future.

Tamara 29:52

All right, well, yeah, thank you so much for being on. Great stuff. A lot of stu some stuff I haven't heard, and I you know, as a sex podcaster, I should probably know, but always good to learn with the audience. So, but yeah, and if you love this episode, be sure to tell your friends about it and rate it as well. And thank you again, Kim, for being on.

Cam 30:09

Thank you.

Tamara 30:10

All right, thanks everyone, bye.