Veterans, First Responders and Post Traumatic Stess Disorder

Sean Bennett served for more than 25 years in the Canadian Armed Forces and 35 years as a firefighter. For him, the worst of his post traumatic stress disdorder are horrible nightmares - often reliving some of the worst of his calls as a firefighter, which include 23 children.

Sean and his partner Graham Bettes, a police officer for 32 years, run a non-profit program in Niagara called Valhalla Project Niagara. It's a completely free program for veterans and first responders who come together for 5 days at a camp in a safe and serene natural environment where they can share and learn about PTSD, mental health and suicide.

The Vallhala Project is completely free and relies on donations.  Learn more on how to support the veterans and first responders who keep us safe at: https://www.valhallaprojectniagara.org/

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Sean Bennett, who is a veteran of the Canadian Armed Forces and currently serving with the St. Catharines Fire Department, is with me today to talk about the Valhalla Project Niagara, which is a project for first responders and veterans of the Armed Forces who are experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder. And Sean is here today with Siren, his lovely golden retriever, and she is his service dog, and she is with him all the time. And I'm going to let Sean talk a little bit about Siren as we get into the interview. Sean, you've got so many achievements in both fire and the armed forces that I can't read all of them. But you did uh have you have 35 years of experience in fire suppression here in St. Catharines, and you are retired from the Armed Forces as a sergeant after more than 26 years. And you've been awarded the Canadian Decoration with Bar, four years service with the Canadian Armed Forces, Federal Exemplary Fire Service Medal with Bar for 25 years of service, Provincial Fire Service Medal for 25 years, Queen's Jubilee Medal, Scouting Youth Service Award, and the City of St. Catharines Volunteer Award. And you were also nominated for Firefire Medal of Bravery in 2006. That is a lot, John.

SPEAKER_00 1:32

It's uh been a long, two long careers with a lot of uh a lot of stress, a lot of you know injury. But uh it's been great, it's been fulfilling, it's given me uh given me a purpose in life. I've really enjoyed it.

SPEAKER_01 1:47

Well, one of the things that you're working on right now is Valhalla Project Niagara, and you are one of the founders, and you are the Padre for Valhalla Project, and you work with, as I said, veterans of the Canadian Armed Forces as well as firefighters with PTSD. Let's go back a little bit in your life because PTSD was not something that we recognized for a long time. People would say, Oh, yeah, PTSD, but nobody really knew what it was. Can you give me an example of uh the kinds of things that you faced?

SPEAKER_00 2:25

Back in '95, I had a six-week infant call. I won't go into details, but uh there really wasn't anything other than hey, how you doing? You know, oh, you're sad, bucket up. Uh and in 2006, and so I did. I pushed everything down for for many years. And in 2006, um I uh I extricated Emily out of the Niagara on ramp accident. When I found out she didn't make it, it broke me. And I I've never been the same. And in 2006, I I went through the WSIB and I went through uh and started seeing a therapist. Uh they did therapies that were done wrong, one's not even done anymore, they consider it torturous. So these put these really ingrained these calls into me. Uh Emily, through therapy, I found out it was my 18th child, and I consider a child 17 and under. Um, I retired with 23, so it's a long, it's long and it's tiring. Um, but then you see all the other stuff too.

SPEAKER_01 3:27

Well, there are people that that you were able to and your your crew on your truck were able to extricate from a fire or from a car accident who did survive, and that must be you know, that must really feel good and make you feel like you are doing something and accomplishing something that's helping people, which is why you go into that kind of job in the first place.

SPEAKER_00 3:51

Well, yeah, there's all the there's lots of the good stuff. Um that that year, I don't know what it was about 2006, but uh in August I had the the uh that accident uh just on on the highway with 11 people in a seven-person car, and I took over the scene. That's that's what I was nominated for the Medal of Bravery for that. Um we had two fatalities. I called in air ambulance, seven ambulances, uh, and two different cities of trucks. So and uh and we did, we did save lives that day. Uh, and then it just it just carried on. But um, and uh in June of 2018, uh I had had my service dogs come into work with me. We had worked out something with the city. My wife Melody's a master trainer, and um, we were able to set up something so I had a dog with me on my 24-hour shifts, and that really helped. But uh by that point, I was on seven medications, two of them were to counteract side effects of other medications, and I was a 300-pound hungry zombie. That that's the best way I can describe myself. There was no joy in life, nothing. I went off in June of 18, and then uh in December of 18, I went I I went with my service dog to uh to Perth and I took uh Project Trauma Support. Uh Dr. Manuela has a great program up there, and it really opened opened my eyes to okay, maybe there is some hope that I'm not going to be like this forever. In uh April of 2019, uh my fellow director Graham Betis um and and me with our service dogs flew to California and we attended the five-day Sparta program, and that gave us a whole different look on things. So we decided, you know what, we're going all these places, there's nothing in the Niagara region for us. So when we got back, my nightmares were so bad that I slept in my backyard from April till September, uh, four and a half months. Um my wife was very, very understanding, uh, but it was tough. And then being a master trainer, she said, it's gonna get cold. We gotta get you a nightmare dog. So here's siren. So I got siren in September of uh in September of 2019. The first night that I slept inside, I slept on the couch, and uh I had her in the cage beside me. She now she's getting up because she can see the emotion. Um and then she whined like five or six times in the night, and and I would wake up and then I just put my finger in the cage, she'd lick my finger, turn around, go back to sleep. Because I was calm now. I've been woken out of this, and I and after a couple days, I'm like, she's actually doing it. And uh she's six now, and uh she wakes me out of almost every all but the worst nightmares. I've like my you can see my fingers are all twisted. I've dislocated my jaw, had to have surgery, uh you know, throat your hip, clavicle, shoulders, lots of fingers. I've just popped them back in myself now. Um, but that's only the worst. She's she's really good at waking me up. I haven't had anything bad in a while.

SPEAKER_01 6:55

Can we just go back to that first treatment that you had? Because we were talking about that a little bit before we started the interview. And in 2000, I believe you said 2006, the approach to PTSD was uh was cruel almost.

SPEAKER_00 7:12

It it it really was.

SPEAKER_01 7:14

Um and I don't think anybody was doing that on purpose.

SPEAKER_00 7:17

No, no, they thought it was good, but they thought you had to take a hard stance at it. And I was through Hamilton Health Sciences, and um I did EMDR, and for anybody who does the EMDR, awesome, it's done absolutely right now. Uh, but it was done very aggressive, find the worst of the worst, and then let's think and find more worst so we can get these out of you. But what they do is ingrain themselves in you. And I did something called prolonged exposure therapy to try and get rid of the Emily call. And uh you spoke into a microphone and you explained the whole call, and then you listen to it, and then they say, Add more, add more. And at the end of the session, they give you a CD and they say, Listen to this more. We'll see you next week. Mine got to about 48 minutes long and so ingrained that call in me that it took it uh it was Emily's family reaching out. Sorry, that really helped. Uh that really helped me to to come to grips with it. So I'm good now, you know.

SPEAKER_01 8:19

Right, it's kind of aversion therapy.

SPEAKER_00 8:21

We know that and we know that doesn't work. It no, it it's it's like it pounds it into you, and um, but Emily's family reaching out was so important, and uh, and also I I through the the chief medical officer of the Canadian Armed Forces and through others, other doctors that I know, there's no pain at death. Your body produces DMT, you're you don't feel any pain. So that helps too to let you let you be able license. To let you know that that person didn't suffer.

SPEAKER_01 8:53

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:54

So um, yeah, it was done, they were done very, very, very, very aggressively. Um, I started six years ago with NPW, and uh the therapists there have been awesome. I have a I have an excellent therapist, and uh is this something that came through fire services?

SPEAKER_01 9:13

I mean, fire service is now recognizing the depth of PTSD and the people who are well, we've talked about two instances one involved an accident, one involved fire. Um, and that's what fire fire responds to both those kinds of calls.

SPEAKER_00 9:30

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 9:31

So is this something that St. Catherine's Fire is now recognizing and would say, you know what, Sean, we see that you're really stressed out after this call, and we think it would be better for you to take a little bit of time and talk to your therapist, spend some time with Siren and your wife, and just sort of step back a bit.

SPEAKER_00 9:52

Around the time that I got injured, uh St. Catharines Fire was already starting initiatives. They have their uh critical interest and distress management team. Uh they do a great job. Um, and with uh I like I haven't been at I haven't been there in six years. So I there's a lot of new things that are out there, but from what I hear, St. Catharines is very, very progressive. Uh the chief and and and and his deputies and the and the officers, platoon chief, like everybody, they're not the old crotchety guys 30 years ago.

SPEAKER_01 10:24

They're the they're intelligent people who who know. And well, some of them must be experienced. Well, all of them because they all would have been on a truck at the end. Everybody sees something.

SPEAKER_00 10:33

And uh St. Catherine's Fire has been nothing but good to me. Um, it was it was tough fighting to get WSIB, but St. Catherine's Fire has been nothing but good to me. I'll retire this year. And uh I have no animosity for that.

SPEAKER_01 10:47

You might have been a learning curve for them to recognize that something was going on. Let's talk about Valhalla Project Niagara, because this is um an initiative that you're doing with a fellow first responder, Graham Bettis.

SPEAKER_00 11:02

Valhalla Project is uh it's a five-day program. So we are a Canadian charity, and uh all monies that we get go directly to them. None of my directors, my assistant directors, my volunteers, my chef, none are none are are paid. We're all volunteer, and we all are have had PTSD and taken different programs, and we all have the strength to do this stuff now. But um, it's a five-day program. They show up on Sunday at noon. Uh, they stay with us for five days, they're fed. There is absolutely no trauma talk. Uh we don't want to trigger anybody. Um, and it's not just it's not just veterans and like fire, police, ambulance. There's corrections, border, uh, death duelists, funeral, uh, high, high-risk teachers, um, and and even more. Like, there's there's a whole a whole bunch of people, and we've had we've had people from as far south, we've had state troopers from Arizona, special forces from Minnesota, and all across Canada and north. Um, and we even raised money and flew a police officer in from Scotland, Jamie. And uh the there's nothing over there, so we're we've really expanded that. But back to the it's five days, all uh food, religious or dietary needs are met. Brad Brad Hart is absolutely amazing. Um they we do two to a room. We have a whole bunch of programs through the week. There's a lot of information. We do not do therapy, we're not we're not their therapists. We're there because their therapists say they can go. Uh it's an information thing, uh, um course with other we also put coping skills, give them, give them coping skills, uh, meditations. Uh as you know with um with uh counselor McPherson and I, and we're working still to keep our labyrinth in the city. That was very important to me.

SPEAKER_01 13:03

I want to talk about that in a second, too.

SPEAKER_00 13:05

Yeah, because that's a whole different concept. I'll jump over there later. Uh but we have a lot of things that we do. We have um we have a few ceremonies, uh, and we have a day where we go out and people walk the labyrinth. We take them to the bee farm. There's so much on bees that you you just can't believe how they work with us. That's a whole I talked to Graham.

SPEAKER_01 13:26

Yeah, I talked to Graham a couple of years ago, and I am deathly afraid of bees. I got stung by a wasp this summer, and it was the most traumatic thing that had happened to me. I shouldn't use that word. Um, but the thought of going to a bee place where bees land on you in a parking lot. It's uh it's beewise bee farm. Okay, bee's beef. He does research actually. So, what is it about bees? Because I think there's a lot of people out there thinking, wow, I don't want to go to a place where uh bees land on me on purpose.

SPEAKER_00 13:56

Um so bee wise, he the thing about bees is they vibrate at the same vibration when we're happy. So they have a they have a room and it's all meshed. Yeah, you don't you might get a bee on you, but you it's meshed, and there's 12 12 hives, and you go into the room, and as soon as you walk in and you're stressed out, you can hear it go from and and you can hear the vibration. So the sound, the sound it'll go down, and then as you're calming, it it slowly comes back up, and it gets you're at the same level as them.

SPEAKER_01 14:36

Um so the stress point is when the when the B sound gets really low, that's when they're picking up on there is a serious amount of stress happening in this room.

SPEAKER_00 14:46

But uh yeah, there it it's it's uh really interesting. The read so there's so much research now into post-traumatic stress disorder that there's too much to keep up on. But uh, these are just a few of the things that we do with them. Um and and on Cave Springs camp, there's a high angle, so there's a confidence course, and uh they go up 25 feet. Uh and it's really cool to watch them. When these people come to the course, and that's one of one of the my director's jobs. So there's there's I should there's me. Sorry, there's me who's uh who's who's the president. There's Graham, he started the course with me, and Melody. Melody helped us, but like you said, that's another story for the service dogs. Um I have Ken Bodet, sorry, Baudet, uh, and he was a combat medic, artillery, and uh a paramedic. Lyle Renault is also a uh paramedic supervisor and a volunteer firefighter for 17 years. And Lois Hardman's up in St. Thomas, she's a 30-year police officer. So there's a there's a there's a good group there. But one of the jobs for me and my directors is uh we really study people when they show up. Now we do have some of our people from before come and take it again. There's no problem, there's no cost, right? Um, and but but we prioritize new people. Uh we're over 520 people so far with 31 programs that we've done.

SPEAKER_01 16:14

Um that's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 16:16

Uh and we have six more planned for for this year, so we're on our fundraising kick now. So when when we see people come in, they are broken. You can see some people's faces, they don't want to be there. They probably turned around four or five times on the way there. Uh, we get lots of cancellations at the last minute. Um, but we watch them and you know we make sure everybody's okay. One of the first things we talk about on Sunday, like we do icebreakers and stuff, but one of the first things we talk about is suicide. Suicide, saying the word suicide does not make somebody suicide. So we do that first, then through the week, as they get this information, they start to get this understanding that they they're not unique. They're what they're going through, like lack of sleep, anxiety, uh, agoraphobia, depression, um, addictions. And that's not just drugs, that's that's sex, gambling, physical fitness addictions, all these things, and they then they start to feel a little bit of shame and they don't want to do anything.

SPEAKER_01 17:20

Um they figure they find out they're not alone.

SPEAKER_00 17:22

They find out they're not alone and they're not unique. One of the hardest groups that we've had that we've tried to convince is is dispatchers. Dispatchers go on every single call, right? You know, so they they may not see it physically, but they're there and they feel it. But uh within a few days, you can see them calm and the food's good, Brad's really good, so they're starting to eat, and they haven't they really don't because they don't eat. Um, and then uh by Wednesday, Wednesday's a heavy day. You know, we talk, we do a lot of talk on suicide. My um, my friend Ryan Martinson, he was a uh sergeant with the Lincoln Walla. Uh his mother comes in because Ryan suicided a couple years ago. Uh, and she comes and does a talk about what what it's like in the family. No, no, no family pictures the same, you know. Uh, so they're very it's a very heavy day. Thursday is our fun day and out, and they people just start, they're smiling, they're talking.

SPEAKER_01 18:20

That must be amazing, uh, for you, for you and Graham and and the team to see the effect of just three days.

SPEAKER_00 18:28

When we've had military taken from us and our professions taken away from us, which we've done for some of us three plus decades, where all you're doing is helping people, it's taken away from you what you do. This is this is this gives us a sense of purpose, right? The fact that we can educate people and like for myself, going through such a severe time as they tried to figure out PTSD. Um, I don't want other people to have to go through this stuff. You know, we we really try to uh to get rid of it. The big stigma is is shame. Um, but I I just want to say by by Friday, everybody's smiling, laughing, joking. They um we do a we do a messenger group for each cohort, and they can uh and they stay connected. It's private for just them and and the directors. So we have 31 of those. And um also we do Oath Takers on Wednesdays. We have other programs that we do during the week, like when courses aren't being run from accessibility breakfast, uh, you know, uh our Oath Takers group. Everybody's welcome to come online on Wednesday nights, Sunday morning, same thing. Uh Veterans Jiu Jitsu for free on on uh on on Sundays and Thursdays in the summer, free free bucket of balls, go out and hit golf balls.

SPEAKER_01 19:48

So be it's beyond the five days.

SPEAKER_00 19:50

Beyond just that five days. We also initiated uh a check-in program. Um, I always say check-ins save lives. Everybody in the group checks in with at least one or two people. That way everybody knows that they're being thought of, and it makes them also reach out, so it gets them into that into that mode. Uh we've got a really well-balanced program. Graham's been amazing, and and he he really coalesced it all together. And uh he's our talking head, so he he's he's got a master's in in psychology, so he's uh yeah, he does his talks for us.

SPEAKER_01 20:27

Can can we talk about the labyrinth? Sure. Just because we're we're we're getting close to the end. And I want to talk. No, no, no, that's fine. I want to talk them about the labyrinth because I have been to the labyrinth. So I want you to explain what a labyrinth is. And I walked it and wasn't exactly sure what it was that I was or that someone who is who is living with PTSD is getting out of, or any s like the other severe stresses you've talked about is getting out of walking the labyrinth, which is in Fairview Park in uh the north end of St. Catharines.

SPEAKER_00 21:00

Yes, um, for a lot of us, like on our program, we teach a lot of different meditations. Um, my is my PTSD manifests as hypervigilance. I can't sit with my eyes closed, I can't cover my ears. I have to be aware of what's going on. So what I a labyrinth is a moving meditation. It's also it's also a metaphor for PTSD because like you can see my tattoo on my arm, I do that so when I'm not near the labyrinth, I can trace it and I can think of it. Um, but there's lots of twists and turns and going back and forth, but there's no dead ends. So as long as you just keep moving forward, and what we say moving forward in your labyrinth of life, you will find your center, you will find what you need. Um, going to the labyrinth for me, I go in ready with a with um, I do a little prayer, and I ask the creator to give me what I need and let me get rid of what I need to get rid of. And I do mine with my mala beads, there's 108, and I every step every step is a word, and I do it in the set of four. Calm, educated, sober, strong, put a bead. And if I do it perfect and I'm breathing perfect, as I step in the center, I hit my last bead. That's I can gauge if I if I'm too raped. But what they do, they it's everybody is different. Everybody's different. Don't bring negativity, don't say no anger, no, because then you're just saying no. Um, just you can have a question and just contemplate the question. There's something about the sacred circles that mankind's had for thousands and thousands of years.

SPEAKER_01 22:40

You're uh in a fundraising mode right now. So, how do people donate to your program?

SPEAKER_00 22:45

Um I believe it's donateval project niagra uh.com. Goes right into the account. It's on the website. Uh yeah, we don't touch the monies, it goes right into the account. Um like I said, we put everything towards towards the program.

SPEAKER_01 23:03

Uh five dollars, ten dollars, two dollars.

SPEAKER_00 23:06

Every little bit because it it costs it costs. Four more would be great. It costs 25, about 25 grand, of course. Yeah, and it's free to the people that it's free to the people, they're fed, they're housed, they're taken care of. Uh and the speakers are you know for everything from addictions to to medications to we even have a WSIB recommend. So they're just we try and take care of them. We want them to be able to succeed.

SPEAKER_01 23:31

It's it's a it's a really wonderful uh program, and I think something maybe people don't know about. Uh so I I hope that people listen to this. I'm gonna pound this out again and again and again to try and get some some uh donations for you. And so uh Sean, we're going to finish up here so that I can say, siren, you are a really good girl, and she's still lying down beside you. I'm assuming when we stop and start moving around, siren's gonna want to join the conversation again. So thank you for coming and interesting.

SPEAKER_00 24:04

Our website right now is is we're we're almost finished putting our new website together. So you can still get the same information, just it's not as updated.

SPEAKER_01 24:12

You can listen to all episodes of Life Unscripted, stories of mental health and addiction, on your favorite podcast app or on my website at lifeunscripted.ca.