As the holiday season feels like a blur of events and obligations, we want to bring the focus back to where it should be – you! In our special holiday episode, we tackle the often overlooked concept of self-care during the hectic holiday season. In this episode we share our thoughts and reflections on the importance of taking a breather, recharging, and looking inward even amidst the whirlwind of holiday bustle.
Drawing from our personal struggles, we share insights on prioritizing self-care and setting boundaries. We also address the unique challenges college students face when returning home for the holidays. It's about being mindful of our mental health and reminding ourselves that it's okay to not always be in productive mode.
We share tips on how to sprinkle in small acts of self-care and declutter your lives to make room for 'you' time. As we narrate our stories of personal growth and the joys of spending time with loved ones, we leave you with a warm reminder to be the best version of yourself, not just for the world, but for you. So let's start this journey of self-care together and make this holiday season a truly happy one!
Music Credits: Deck the Halls B by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
As the holiday season feels like a blur of events and obligations, we want to bring the focus back to where it should be – you! In our special holiday episode, we tackle the often overlooked concept of self-care during the hectic holiday season. In this episode we share our thoughts and reflections on the importance of taking a breather, recharging, and looking inward even amidst the whirlwind of holiday bustle.
Drawing from our personal struggles, we share insights on prioritizing self-care and setting boundaries. We also address the unique challenges college students face when returning home for the holidays. It's about being mindful of our mental health and reminding ourselves that it's okay to not always be in productive mode.
We share tips on how to sprinkle in small acts of self-care and declutter your lives to make room for 'you' time. As we narrate our stories of personal growth and the joys of spending time with loved ones, we leave you with a warm reminder to be the best version of yourself, not just for the world, but for you. So let's start this journey of self-care together and make this holiday season a truly happy one!
Music Credits: Deck the Halls B by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Hello everybody, welcome to your special edition holiday episode.
Speaker 2:
Hi everybody. Happy holiday season. It is kind of the still the middle of December. We hope you are enjoying one weather. I like the weather around this time.
Speaker 1:
If you like the weather.
Speaker 2:
I hope you are enjoying the weather and if you're not, it'll get warm soon again. We're in California, so we're blessed with pretty good weather. Two vibrant colors I hope you're enjoying the vibrant colors. And three my favorite part of this time of year is the treats. I love like any type of seasonal food or I'm a sweet tooth person, so like anything that's like coffee related or like thick drinks, my as a Latina. My grandma makes all the time like arroz con la chesa, like rice pudding, or my fiance's family will make champurrado as well. So delicious and like all sweet treats and having coffee at like 10 pm with bandulce it's tradition.
Speaker 1:
I love it. Oh, that sounds amazing. Yes, I'm right there with you. I actually don't like the cold weather, but I do like the weather we are experiencing now in California, specifically Los Angeles, because it's nice and sunny during the day, it actually doesn't feel like winter. And then, as far as the treats go, I love all the drinks that include like cinnamon and cloves and all the spices. My favorite holiday drink is coffee beans, winter dream tea latte. You have not tried it. This is not a paid sponsorship. It can be, though. Yes, one day. I highly recommend it. If you like cinnamon flavored drinks, that is a really good one.
Speaker 2:
You mentioned the cold. Last week I was in Colorado, armanina, and it was snowing so bad Snow snow so bad because I've never experienced snow like that and I was dying to come home because I needed to come home for something. But yes, if you are somewhere where it snows, bundle up, and I'm sorry it was not, but more time it would have been a better experience, you know, like when we see it in the movies, it's so cute, everything happens, so perfect.
Speaker 2:
Exactly You're sweating underneath your 50 layers. You're upset because you're playing so late. That was my situation. It was just a hot mess, but hey it's okay.
Speaker 1:
And then people have to shovel snow off their driveway.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, or defrost their like it's a whole thing, the windshield, yeah, it's a whole life change, yeah, so clearly.
Speaker 1:
We've grown up here in sunny California. We love no snow winter. We just like the idea of snow. The fake one, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2:
And we're like rain people. It rains during the winter, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:
Well, wherever you are in the world and whatever weather you're experiencing, we hope you're enjoying it. And today we actually want to talk about the holiday season, what that can look like, what that can feel like and how to kind of manage everything going on around the holidays.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, we should have like done a holiday jingle to emphasize that this was a holiday-esque episode where we're taking the time to really think about our years and re-energize our emotions and our physical selves as we enter this end of the year period and starting on a high as we enter the new year as well.
Speaker 1:
Yeah. So with that said, mj, let's talk to our audience a little bit about what this end of the year time period actually like, feels like for you.
Speaker 2:
So I do have to acknowledge, because we work in the education system, it feels a little funky to think that it's like the literal end of the year because it is like the middle of the school year. So it feels like obviously we're not done with the year because there's still half the school year left and two I don't know like. I've been in school since I was three, so I've never felt like it's the end of the year. But end of the year this year, I think, hits me a little bit different, because so much has gone on this year and I've grown as a person, as a human, but also as a professional. So for me this end of the year takes up. I need to, like really sit down and reflect on all of the things that I've been blessed with, because it's truly been a blessing to do everything I have. And I'm identifying what self care looks like for me during this time, because there's still so much work to be done and so much work that I need to do for the start of the year.
Speaker 2:
And that's just the truth I do. My goal is to find like two days to just do nothing and I think for me what happens is it takes me getting sick to do that and that's not good.
Speaker 1:
I think it's great that you mentioned that in education and academia we're on kind of a different timeline, because also for other industries like retail or other industries could have a very different timeline as well. Like we were talking about before we started recording retail folks are working on the holiday.
Speaker 2:
I used to work on Christmas, even loved it because I got paid overtime. Christmas was always closed. It was the one holiday they did observe, but every other, like holiday, I worked. So I wasn't until I moved in the education field. We got one week off. So absolutely, we do actually have a privilege to say Armin and I do get a week off for the holiday season, but many people don't.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, yeah, and you know, I think the point of this episode is, whether you get time off or not, it's really important to give yourself that time and that space to to reflect and really think about how the year has gone for you and what goals you want to set for next year and why, why it's important to to kind of take care of yourself during this time period.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, absolutely, armin. Tell me, how do you? You, you're more experienced in this and I do, honestly, every time I think of self care, think of you, because you live a glamorous life. Oh my. God, but I want to live your life. You're like my. You are like my, I want to be you. Tell me, because yourself cares more glamorous than mine what is your self care?
Speaker 1:
You are making me blush here.
Speaker 1:
My life is really not that glamorous for listening, but I think that what, mj, you're referring to is what you're seeing is someone who learned to to take time for myself, because I learned the importance of it and when I was in my early 20s I didn't know that obviously I was working really hard in grad school doing different jobs, internships, things like that, and it wasn't until, I would say, late 20s, early 30s is when I started to realize, when I take care of myself, I'm actually better at the things that I do. Wherever I show up, whether it's at work in my career, whether it's here doing this podcast, in my relationships, right, as a wife, as a daughter, as a sibling all of those depend on me being able to function and feel comfortable and feel happy right, and in order to do that, I need to take care of myself. But I had to learn that. So I think that's why you're referring to the glamour, but it's truly not that glamourized, but I do take care of myself in the sense that I listen to my body.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I'm like I should have listened to my body 10 years ago and I say that being a baby. But you're right, it's knowing how to take care of yourself. But I think that when I've had to do that, I notice how much more relaxed I come into things and how different things feel. The listening to your body is something I need to learn, because I wait till my body is dying and then I'm like, oh, I need to take care of myself now.
Speaker 1:
Like.
Speaker 2:
I'm a dead plant, and then I need to water myself. And that's something I need to do because if I want to show up as my best self in every identity that I hold, I can't stop ignoring the fundamental of who I am.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, yeah, I mean, even it goes down to like I think it goes down to your core beliefs, Right? Because sometimes in the media or on social media we hear self care and it looks pretty right. It's like take a bath, go to the spa, etc. And yeah, that stuff is fine and those are some things that I do myself as well. But just going to the spa one time or taking a bath one time, like that's not true self care. I think self care goes deeper.
Speaker 2:
I'm laughing, because that's me Like. I think one bath is going to take you all my sins.
Speaker 1:
I love it, yeah, no, no, it really is more so, just deeper, in terms of how you see yourself and valuing yourself and valuing the time that you have for yourself and making space for that. But I think that's a belief system and I think it takes a while to learn that. I wouldn't say I'm an expert on that either. I'm still learning, because there are times when I feel really stretched to, especially during the holidays, and that's why we really want to talk about this during this time period, because we know for our listeners out there too, the holidays can be really stressful, with so many different things coming out at you and the different responsibilities you might have outside of work too, and so, during this time especially, it's really important to be able to have boundaries and know when you need to have this space and the time for yourself.
Speaker 2:
Absolutely, I agree. I think everyone around us the media, other people can make the holidays feel like very easy and pretty and it's a breeze and it's all about getting together in this wonderful time. But there's so much that takes doing to get to that pretty picture and there's a lot of stress and alleviation that comes after the stress once it's all done. But then you pick right back up after it's done. The holidays are very nice and sweet and kind. They're honestly one of my favorite times since I was a kid. I got to see my family be a family and those were very special times because my family and the jobs that they've had, they've had to work even on the day of Christmas and Christmas Eve.
Speaker 2:
So during those moments I'm like wow we all get to be together and things like that, but they are stressful. And now having the privilege to say I can take a week off, there's a weird feeling around that and what that means and seeing others in my family not be able to have that privilege and there's an expectation of what is expected of me having this time off. I can't just chill and take a break as well.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, no, you make a good point, because when folks around you don't have that time off, then it's like, okay, well, mj can take care of this because she has a week off, right, but little do they know that MJ needs her space and time as well. But along with that till, we hear from our students all the time too, like going back home for the holidays, coming back. There was actually some statistics at some point for our college students coming back higher, higher rates of depression and anxiety coming back post-holiday, and that could mean many different things, right, like going back to see family friends back home. There's different dynamics. So it is beautiful, it can be a very magical time, but it can also be really stressful, depending on family dynamics or certain things that might come up because people are spending more time together.
Speaker 2:
And that is so true. That is so true with our population Even just like the students we see on a daily basis, like the ones who are very, very familiar with us, I know, like some of the students within this last week, it's their last week on campus and I've had to ask and prep them like, how are you feeling? And some of them are not feeling excited because they've created a home and a safe space on campus.
Speaker 1:
Yeah.
Speaker 2:
And I think for many of us we've done that with the people in our workspaces as well, because they're the people we see more than our own family sometimes, yeah, where it's like oh, like being away from you, like I don't know if I, you know, feel my best self and comfortable, and things like that as well. So holidays are really stressful and they're not the same for everybody either.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, definitely it doesn't mean the same for everybody and the expectations of different folks. It varies, right, based on what your role is in the household or wherever you're going to be spending the holidays. I know even like to reach that like magical thing that we try to reach, like have fun and play games and dress up and take cute pictures, just even to get to that. If that is what your goal is probably getting everybody on the same page, making sure everything is like logistically booked, and all of that is is still really stressful. And then I remember there was one year when I was planning a lot of that stuff and I just felt like once it was over, I felt like a big weight off my shoulders and I was like, wow, like I didn't realize that I was the one playing the role in getting everything prepped to make this happen. And what if I didn't? It was going to play that role right. And that was like a big moment for me to recognize like dynamics and who plays what role in in the household and so forth.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, if I was in your family, I would yes, I would. I would feel completely trusting that you would have everything down Now that I wouldn't help you. That's different, but like you do bring on that type of I see that in at work in you all the time, so I can totally see how that that's a weight that's on your shoulders also here too.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, and that's interesting that you mentioned that, because usually people play similar roles at work as well as with their friends, with their family, right, like anytime there's a group of people, your natural styles, tendencies, skills will come out right, even if you might think that you act differently with family and with friends and whatever. But there's, there's, certain things that naturally come out because it's a characteristic of what you are as a person and it could play is, it could actually cause a lot more stress than you intended to, even if the results are positive at the end.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, and when you're playing that main character energy you're not enjoying anything.
Speaker 1:
No, because you're worrying about everybody else.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, and you kind of put yourself on the back burner. Yeah, and it is until afterwards. You're like, oh great, now my time is over and I got to go back to work.
Speaker 1:
Yeah.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, the start of the new year also kind of stresses me out because I feel like you need to have. You know that's a part of the holiday season, but I'm like, oh, everybody like feels like they have to finish something or meet some type of goal and like start a brand new life January. Yeah, the whole goal setting that's so annoying and my birthday is in the beginning of the year, so freaks me out even more because I'm like great new year, new literal age year, like there's so much pressure.
Speaker 2:
I don't know, it's a weird thing that I feel around that time, but I the new year is not my favorite holiday. I personally like Thanksgiving in November and I celebrate Christmas to my family and I, so I like Christmas in December, just this time before we get to the start of the new year.
Speaker 1:
Sure, yeah, I can see how the new year can be stressful and you know it's like we get planners. A lot of a lot of folks will get planners and do goal setting. Yes, oh my gosh. Yes, but then what is it about that? Where, like, what is it about? Three or four weeks later, everything drops?
Speaker 2:
around mid February, everything drops, yeah, yeah, people start, lose motivation. I think motivation and emotions are higher on that time and I'm curious if it's like because people are spending more time around the ones that they love that they feel so energized. Or when they start getting back to the reality of life, going back to work and the regular schedules are like oh, I don't really have time for this kind of stuff.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, it could be. It could be our students going back to school and it's like, okay, now we have to get back into the groove of things, so there's no time to like figure my life out, basically right and that's hard to the scheduling.
Speaker 2:
Scheduling in general around the holidays is tricky, and how do you schedule time for yourself when there's so much going on? Yeah, it's important to which time in.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, yeah, I mean, let's talk about that. So I'm thinking about how, how I do that. And you know, sometimes it's not even, maybe it's not during when it's happening. Maybe you know, you're running around, you're like, okay, I got to be here, I got to be there, this is going on this day, et cetera. You kind of like everything starts to feel like a chore for me. That's what I've realized, even the fun things.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, yeah, because that's that's how I know I'm stressed. So I'm like okay, normally I would like to go, I would be enjoying this event or whatever. However, right now I'm doing it as a chore to check it off, because I much rather be spending time alone and rejuvenating, and that's how I know it's becoming too much. But but for me, what I reflect on is like I also really prioritize my relationships and, and for me, friendships and family, family relationships are really really important. So I know that in order to make those relationships work, I have to also put in that effort, right? So for me, I kind of think about okay, if I do this now, it's contributing to my relationship with these folks, and then I make sure to take time off after that, to spend time alone and do whatever I need to do, yeah.
Speaker 2:
I, I'm like thinking as you were, as you were speaking, I'm like how do I do that and how do I make time for myself? I really try, so I'm so good at I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so I'm not good at anything. Um hold, on hold.
Speaker 2:
on Wait, you are good at everything I'm not good at, like the self-care stuff, but then I'm like thinking about it, I'm like wait well, um, when I really want to, I will make the time to do it, and I will like no matter from doing seven million things in that one day. I know. Last week in particular, there was a huge family event that went on and it's been in my calendar for months, like half a year and I spent the entire day like I didn't care about whatever else was happening in my life. Like this is what I was focused on and nothing was going to ruin my day.
Speaker 2:
Nothing was because this was a special day already carved out. And when I do that in terms of like the self-care I'm thinking of is like um, reading a fictional book, like 10 minutes, at least for 10 minutes before I go to sleep. I do fall asleep midway in those 10 minutes, but that's okay. At least I tried and I did it and I continuously could um do the habit. So it sticks and at least I share and I feel like I did do that part of self-care or like, um, something silly is like like a hair mask or something, and I'm like okay, I got to stay in the in the routine of doing this because it's going to add to my overall self-well-being. So I am not good at like the pretty self-care, but I can make sure that I do like the little things that make me feel like just the right amount of good.
Speaker 1:
I love that. That's really I'm trying. Yeah, no, that that is really like putting in the effort, right yeah.
Speaker 2:
Like on Fridays, I'll make sure it's um with my, with my partner. I'll be like okay like what do you want to eat Something fun that you want?
Speaker 1:
to do yeah.
Speaker 2:
I try to do that every Friday, um with him. So like those are like silly things that like I try my best to keep and if I know, if I don't do one of those, like I need to make up for it the next week. So I feel like I met those little milestones of self-care during the week.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, I love that. I'm thinking about like, okay, what makes me feel you know what? I realized this is going to sound so funny. I also don't get to do self-care until everything around my life is organized. So all the events, everything is booked in the calendar, my space is clean, like my house, and all of that. Right, I feel like until I have everything organized, then I'm like okay, now I can have time for myself, and time for myself sometimes is literally just sitting on the couch and watching TV, which could sound lame, but sometimes I just literally need that. Sometimes it's going out. I need to go out somewhere, even if it's going to the stores or just going to like the city center and like walking around and stuff, fresh air. Sometimes it's simple things like that. Other times it is a little bit more glamorous, like going to get my nails done or we're going to the spa. Those are the times when it's like I've worked really hard, I need to go to the spa.
Speaker 2:
That doesn't happen regularly. You just serve the spa any day. You're literally growing a human being.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, which I can't really go to the spa right now, then after, yes. But what I'm trying to say is, like you said, there are different levels of self-care, right? So sometimes it's the little things like carving out that little time to read a book or watch TV or go get some fresh air, and sometimes it's bigger things. You kind of just have to feel it in your body what it is that you need. There is no one right formula, I think.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, absolutely, and I think sometimes you just have to force yourself to do it, even if there's no time. Like, honestly, I was so tired the other day and I remember promising something to my partner and I was like, okay, I'm gonna, even though I really don't want to do this right now and I'm exhausted and rather be asleep, I'm going to do it because I know it's going to benefit me and my relationship and just how I feel.
Speaker 1:
And I did, I fell asleep midway through.
Speaker 2:
But it still happened and it was still like a good feeling where I didn't think about anything else and I felt like I grew my heart like the little grinch my heart grew two times its size just from being nice to myself.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, yeah, and you start to realize that you I think sometimes the emotion comes after the act, right so you start to realize that you love yourself or you appreciate yourself, or you respect yourself, right, and those are really important feelings. This is where I think it gets deeper in terms of self-care. It's like valuing yourself in your body, because if we don't value ourselves, who's going to value us? We don't respect or I always say this if you don't respect yourself, who's going to respect you?
Speaker 2:
Or if you don't love yourself, who's going to love? You yeah those are important and I think we learn and we grow in that direction the older we get as well.
Speaker 1:
And that's something that.
Speaker 2:
I'm learning and I'm learning from you. You're a big player and, like every time I think of self-care, I think about you and like what would Armin I do? What would Armin I say I love it? Yeah, I swear like self-care is something that comes naturally to you, but it's because you've learned to do it and learned how to grow and in that area, I'm learning little by little.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, it's all a journey right, and I'll say I learned a lot from my mom too, because I know that when we were growing up first generation immigrant family she didn't have the means and the resources to take care of herself or even like something simple like go get her nails done regularly. That stuff didn't happen. But as I and she tells me this too as I grew up, when I was becoming a teenager and I started driving and we would go out together and like go shopping and stuff. When I was younger, I was a kid, we didn't do that stuff together and it was, we were also. It was more like they were working and there was no time or the resources to do that.
Speaker 1:
But then as I grew up and it was like okay, mother, daughter, time, she started to experience those things and she always says she's like I started getting my nails done when you became a teenager and we would go to the mall together and stuff like that, and I could just see how much she changed. She like lightened her energy, lightened from having those experiences. So I think that stuck with me and that's probably why, subconsciously, now that we're talking about this and reflecting, that's probably why I think self-care is so important, it's because I saw how it changed my mom.
Speaker 2:
Oh, I love that yeah.
Speaker 1:
I love that. Oh, I'm so happy. Yeah, so, with that said for and this is not just for females, right? No, we're talking, we're females, we're females, we're talking about a lot of female related things, but this is applicable to any population and any way you want to do self-care. I think the message here is like, especially during the holidays, as it gets stressful and there are a lot of different roles you might have to manage, then why it's important to do self-care. In whatever form you want to do, it doesn't matter. But why is it important? I think it actually goes back to also, when you do go back to your job after the holiday season is over and the high is over and we got to get back to our real lives. You want to be the best version of yourself.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I love that, and self-care comes in many forms and many colors. This is also a form of self-care too your growth, your inner growth. So, with that said, we wish you a very, very happy and warm holiday season from all of us here at the Coffee and Career Hour Studio and podcast.